Saint Rubenio

Hey, I wasn't talking about anyone in particular! I just received generally negative opinions, that's all.

58 turns. Hah! LTC pro right here, folks. Well, at any rate, it's over. That took way too long because I was a coward and played it too safely. Roland held the entire western side at bay with the guard naginata and Bernd's support while Brigitta and Protagonist acted as the heavy artillery behind him and everyone else rushed the eastern forts. It was quite the fun sight to behold. I had fun with the map, overall! Sure, I wish the upper and lower forts didn't exist so the map didn't take me almost 60 turns, but still. Not too bad. You guys were far too negative. You can only go so wrong with Fates mechanics. And generics, of course! Bless you, generics. You guys are wonderful, all of you. Even slow-ass Christof. And then Ryoma mourned Scarlet in a scene that totally didn't fall flat at all because Scarlet got like, two minutes of character development in this route. And, well... In every route, actually. What a goddamned shame. As for next chapter... I took a sneak peek at it and... OHMIGOSH GOLD! Finally! I can finally buy some decent weaponry, goddamnit... I won't do it just yet, though. I'm gonna go have lunch, and then I'll play something else, and hopefully when I return I won't have to time travel for Fuga, who... unfortunately will hit the bench for the time being, because again, no generics will be left behind, not even for baldie overthere.

Well, first Valla impressions are... not too bad! This map isn't terrible. Once I warped to the middle, I was able to secure the area and begin branching out to the eastern forts while Roland dutifully held the line with the guard naginata. Fun map, only problem being... It's looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong. Like, it's turn 41 and only just a couple turns ago I managed to wipe everyone out and begin to clean up and activate the remaining dragon veins. Up to this point I was fighting tooth and nail for all our lives. I could've been faster, but I was a bit afraid, so I waited until I had the eastern side ready to proceed to the west. Well, that's... odd. I would've expected the opposite. Any particular reason?

Okay, so I gave the first Valla map a shot. I started from the bottom, resulting in my units cluttering the extremely tight corridor, and then I got crit because the big problem with generics is that their luck growths suck ass. All right, no problem. I have six entrances to try. We just have to warp to a different spot. Hey, it's not that unlikely! It's just extremely unlikely. ...Touché.

Thank you for your understanding. To be honest, I probably could've endured the slow start if it wasn't for my personal dislike for JRPG gameplay. Sooo yeah, I didn't think the game was bad or anything. Just the gameplay was not my cup of tea, as most JRPGs are, and when it comes to videogames, for the most part gameplay makes or breaks them for me. Maybe I should try out Cold Steel. Shrimpy hates it, but he also loves Three Houses, so clearly he's wrong about everything.

In my own defense, it wasn't personal. I just don't enjoy traditional JRPGs in general. Not my style of gameplay, I'm afraid Nobody tell him I also got completely bored of the story because I felt it didn't go anywhere for 10 hours

There was no need.

You didn't have to mention that tiny, insignificant detail.

Y E S

After consistently being some of the worst units in the entire series, the female armor knight class finally got a worthy member in Effie, who breaks the mold by being pretty close to godlike. She one-shots shit, takes little damage in return and overall, is the main frontliner for the entirety of Conquest's earlygame. She falls off a wee liiiil' bit later, but nothing too big. She can be used all game, no problem, she just becomes less centralizing as time goes on. Low movement and meh speed are her only flaws, and this is the game where low movement is the least crippling, since she can just hop on someone else's back to get to where she needs to be. And to top it all off, I like her design, dumb thigh window aside. One of my favs from Conquest, easily. Doesn't the game give you a slot right after he joins, too? It's kinda like Izana. The game gives you an extra slot right after he joins, and at that point Izana is basically the only one who is worthy of it, which works out perfectly for the guy.

Shura's utility is through the roof. He has huge movement, can boost other units' movement, use staves, shoot things quite well, is decent with the shining bow, can thief, can debuff enemies with his personal... Other units wish they had this amount of versatility. It's honestly well worth kicking someone out for him, he does so much more than combat. I like both Niles and Shura. I will be the new Shrimpy. Oof...

Then at least have the decency to go to Kaga's house and force him to greenlight the translation...

Damnit Spara, stop hyping me for a HSoS translation that I don't even believe is likely to come out...

To be honest, the map doesn't look bad. Having to cart Protagonist around to use dragon veins will be tiresome, but beyond that... Using the sigils smartly to kill groups of enemies quickly sounds interesting enough. It's just... well, not what I want to get up to this late. Fates is big dumb. And I love it for it. Fucking preach. Shura deserves better.

Actually, on second thought, I think I'll wait till tomorrow to do this. Just seeing the map has left me exhausted.

It's a really funny joke from Revelation to unlock the level 2 prison right when it becomes completely useless. Anyway, chapter 18. Protagonist must convince her siblings to jump. She has three options: 1. Insist on the urgency of the matter and ask them to believe in her as they did when they joined her. 2. Jump herself first to show them she knows what she's doing, leave it to Azura to finish convincing them if there are any doubts left after that. 3. Commit fucking suicide. This game. I love this game. Aaaaanyway, person arrived and his voice is barely distorted, you can totally tell who he is. To be honest, I think the uneven walls are more of a danger than him. Every time I see the "falling into the canyon" cutscene it feels like the characters only make it to Valla through sheer luck. Of course, not every character made it to Valla. That was so arbitrary, just like Izana's death. Why does Revelation do these things? So pointless... His confrontation with Kotaro is so good, though...

Scum.

Scum. Yes. Thin fuckin' ice, Sooks. Thin fuckin' ice. Kana can sit on the bench. Fuga is the one and only exception, and even then that's only if the game gives me another deployment slot. No generics are getting booted for him.

Been all afternoon visiting the family. It was nice. In a little bit I'll continue the Rev run. Gotta say, the last arc left me quite happy. Good maps, killing off the remaining royals, Alight and Alight's Conquest Equivalent Whose Name I Forgot Again one after the other, Fates's best girl the generic strategist joined the team right at the last second, everyone promoted... Good stuff, good stuff. I can only hope the Valla arc will be half as good. I love how nobody can recognize her even though all she did was put on a transparent veil. But more than that, I love how that isn't the first time in the series where a ridiculously obvious "disguise" works. Don't make that face. There's nothing wrong with being hyped for Garon scenes. Ooohh yeah, I had forgotten. Yeah, that's a shame, then. Might not even bother with the map, in that case. I'm past the need for grinding maps. Might still marry Fuga just to see what Kana's hair looks like then. Imagine bald Kana. I doubt it, but it'd be amazing. Eh. In my experience, at least in hard mode, that chapter is pretty easy. Even if your Corrin is bad, Gunter can handle everything easily.

Oddly appropriate, yes. There's a bit of Nohr bias, because my archer and ninja turned out badly, but on the other hand, Suzumi and Kenshi were the first to join and two of my best, so I guess it compensates. Yeah, I'm aware. One more map before I can do it, though. Hype. Gimme a break. Haha, yeah, I get it. Bench Elise. Kumagera's design is much cooler. Not really, she can take a single hit from some things and dish out some mean damage. She's not amazing, but she's not... Well, whatever she is in Rev. I never had any doubts. They've made me proud. Unfortunately, there'll be no more generic collecting to be done. I have Logbook Orochi still, but of course, save for Kana's paralogue and challenges there's no more capturing to be done. But I'm not afraid. My guys deserve their chance in the spotlight. We will pull through to the end.

Look at that. Beautiful, beautiful sight. Is that the most badass team you've ever seen or what? Maybe at the end I'll share some stats, so you guys know what an army of generics is capable of. ...No. Wait, does that mean Garon just... disappears from here on? Please tell me it isn't so. I want Garon to continue appearing so I can watch him T-pose on his throne some more. ...Though, honestly, even if he doesn't have any more appearances he'd still be the greatest character in this whole videogame by a long shot, just thanks to that one scene. In fact, I think it'd be even better if he doesn't ever reappear. His whole purpose for existing in this story would be to T-pose on his throne so Xander and Leo stop being morons and join Protagonist. That would be... oh, so, so deliciously idiotic. You'll hear no complaints from me. I wish every story had T-posing on top of a throne as the center of its narrative. Look, I... I don't fucking know, okay? Garon T-posing on top of his throne. There. There's your answer. It makes perfect sense to me. Actually, I looked for it, but I was unable to find it. I must've skipped over it by accident. Great. Now use him. He's great in ninja hell. That's because it's nothing compared to what they did to Nyx. You have to double back to the beginning with Corrin a few turns into the map to grab her, only to get a shitty ass unit that gets one-rounded by everything. And to add insult to injury, Shura is standing in the opposite direction (and actually in the way to the objective), also gets recruited by Corrin and has endgame stats. It's fucking amazing. It's straight up worse to recruit her. Congratulations, Nyx - you're Astram. Not gonna lie, I feel like my experience has been unironically improved by the generics only gimmick. Fuga's Mild Ride alone was a struggle with Rev's extremely shitty non-royals. And, well, I used Xander a little bit in Iago's map and he was hilarious, the game would've been such a bore with units of that caliber. The generics, however? Really well balanced. I have never felt that I was super underpowered, but neither have I felt that I was coasting through life. They hit the sweet spot. Generics ftw. They're saving Revelation.

Well, that was a great couple of maps. Best in Rev so far, alongside the frozen sea. This second one was a little bit on the easy side, thanks to Xander and company distracting the eastern side. Then they all died. Took special pleasure in putting Leo in range of generals. As for the state of the army... Orochi captured the last two recruits, a strategist and a dark knight. Then she died as well, her purpose fulfilled, and baited the two generals close to us, ensuring our victory with her final breaths. I'm not cruel, am I...? On the story side... I'm a bit surprised Iago and Hans have been dispatched so quickly in this route. They were friggin' one offs, both of them. So sad. As for Leo, it has been 10 seconds and he's already picking a fight with the Hoshidans. Nice. You work your magic, buddy, and everything we've worked so hard for will be ruined because you're too much of a shithead to cooperate. Also, I'd just like to point out that our victory here hinges entirely on the fact that Garon randomly decided to T-pose on top of his throne and rant about how he wants to burn the entire, nameless continent. If he hadn't done that (like, y'know, in all the other routes), Leo and Xander would've fought us alongside Iago and Hans, and then we would've died and Garon would've won. Literally all he had to do was... not T-pose on top of his throne and rant about how he wants to burn the entire, nameless continent. Thanks a lot, man. You truly are the MVP of this game, Garon.

The fire walls map was another highlight of Rev, in my humble opinion. Really liked that map. Even without any royals to manipulate the dragon veins, I was able to do some stuff by waiting the walls out. The moment when I was running away, severely outmatched, and then the fire walls came up behind me and left the enemy as sitting ducks was awesome. Great stuff, loved that map. ...And then the game pulled a funny on me and made me unable to save. Not legally, anyway. But at the very least they had the decency to let me pick my army again. I want to deploy Orochi here really badly, because there's both a strategist and a dark knight that I want. They'll be probably the last non-Fuga units to join the team, seeing how I picked the route where half the game takes place in "can't capture" land for my generics only run. Well, to be fair, there is one positive side effect of this: I get to bench Orochi after this map. Hurray.

Okay, I beat the Rainbow Sage map. I like how he disguised himself as a random old man so we wouldn't recognize him... Even though nobody in the team knew him to begin with. In Birthright he just came up to us and it worked out fine. I don't get why he needed the extra disguise in this route. To lie to the player? What sense does that make? Oh, well. In any case, no new generics because illusions don't make for good prisoners. Next chapter doesn't offer anything interesting either, so I'll probably just focus on training my current army. When am I gonna get a strategist? I want a strategist. Preferably before I enter Valla and become unable to capture stuff (at least I'm assuming I won't be able to capture Vallites). And money. I want money too.

It's fucking hilarious. Guy's not even standing in front of his throne, he's standing on his throne! Who looked at this and thought "yeah, that's great, well done everyone, let's ship it, the fans will love it." I mean, I know I love it, but... It's the cutscene that keeps on giving. The more you think about it, the dumber it gets. Okay, okay, but in Xander's defense, let's not forget that he cannot see Elise running up to him from the side through his furrowed brow. Clearly Garon T-posing was standing in the dead zone right between his eyes, where the frown leaves him blind. Leo, though, Leo has no excuse. He's a disgrace. I'll play devil's advocate here and argue that Xander wants to bring trusted soldiers just in case Corrin plans an ambush. He doesn't intend to use them if he doesn't have to, but he brings them along just to be safe. As for why only "trusted" soldiers, I imagine it's so that, in the event that he ends up joining Corrin, he wants the troops to be loyal to him and Leo more than Garon so that they don't turn on them and cause unnecessary trouble for the group. ...Of course, I haven't gotten to the actual chapter where they meet yet, so for all I know that furrowed brow idiot will attack Protagonist on sight. And, well, that particular bit making some sense doesn't take away from the hilarity of Garon T-posing on top of his throne for no reason. They really didn't think a lot of their cutscenes through. The cutscene right after Xander fails to peripheral vision and slices Elise's throat open, for example. I imagine if Corrin is in their base class it works fine, but if they've reclassed, depending on the class the "prepare for combat" animation makes them move forward and clip inside Xander, and then the dramatic camera zoom on their face misses entirely. It looks so dumb, why would they do it like that? I really hope there'll be more moments like this. That scene alone was one of the best I've seen in the entire series. Noooo spoilers. How could you spoil Fire Emblem Fates: Revelation to me like that. Fire Emblem: Hypocrisy. Also, you better have captured that man. Oh it's you! I was already in the middle of my Revelation generics only run, so I ended up not employing your hack (also because I want to make an exception for Fuga, since he's only in this route). However, I have used the infinite resources cheat to save some time. So thanks for that! The theme song of this battle. Dude, even you've got to appreciate the glorious hilarity of Garon T-posing on his throne.