Saint Rubenio

Oh well. Too bad. But hey, at least Chris's crush survived! Now you get teen drama. Thanks. I do try. Until he finds himself hanging from a cliff and the loss of fingers prevents him from getting a solid grip. And then he falls. To his death. Painful and agonizing death. ...Just a hypothetical, though, that doesn't happen in the game. Probably. Those two have found themselves in quite the predicament, haven't they?

C'mon, don't kill Ludin before he can fulfill his character development. Hahahahahah... Okay, that's absolutely hilarious. Apparently there was "no contest", but you didn't care enough about either to actually make a decision lol. Oof. Oh, well, at least she's alive. Probably. I'm not sure about the flare gun, actually. We'll have to see how it pans out. I don't remember, actually. I'm not really an expert on the different kinds of totems. Hush.

I mean, the final map's theme is taken straight from Trails. I will forever associate Silver Will to divine lightning because of that game. Until Dawn is what I'd call the best of this "interactive movie that we pretend is a videogame" genre. I believe the dumb writing and acting was on purpose, as the game (well, at first, anyway) is supposed to be a half parody, half love letter to over-the-top slasher flicks from the 80s, in the same vein as Scream, if you've ever seen that one. On the gamey side, there's some choices that have some surprisingly big effects, which is more than most of the genre can say. Don't expect anything on the level of Banner Saga, but it's pretty okay as far as this genre is concerned. It ain't no Heavy Rain. There's the odd "haha you get to pick two options but they both lead to the same conclusion" moment, but it's less common than usual. Most notably, you can get every single character killed. That's what the marketing says, and it's technically true. Compared to something like Heavy Rain, there's only 2 characters out of like 9 that are safe until the end, unlike Heavy Rain where... it was also 2, but there were only 4 characters, so it was much more jarring. I wouldn't advise going out of your way to find out which are the safe characters, though. We don't want... accidents, to happen. I'm rather familiar with the game, having watched a few playthroughs, so please, do keep me up to date. Don't go gettin' more archer ladies killed now.

Hmmmm... What next, I wonder. I've been having a craving for The Last Promise. I've played enough Fates for now, but at the same time... I'm also curious to use Mozu in Conquest and finally see what the hype is all about. Pffffft just kidding, my next Conquest run is 100% gonna be generics only. Maybe with the exception of Kumagera and Haitaka, because... well, when you get down to it, they're generics with a different face. Perhaps a lunatic run, even. When going over enemy lists in the good wiki, I noticed the stats don't change so much, it's just the skills and density of the enemy. The former sounds like it'd be a nice thing to turn against them... Nah, but I'll play TLP next. I wouldn't want to burn myself out on Fates. Just some chill GBAFE sounds good to me. That, and Project Zomboid, which I've been rediscovering lately. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a zombie survival simulator that is quite realistic. This makes it extremely difficult, or maybe I just suck, I don't know. It's really fun, even though I can hardly last a day, haha.

Wasn't even that bad. It was annoying and dumb, but it was far from the worst maps in the series. Hahahahaha... "OP" generics. I loved that. They grew well, but... I wouldn't call them OP by any stretch of the imagination lol. For once we agree. I'm afraid I didn't marry Fuga after all. No room for him at first, and by the time I finally had some I no longer wanted to taint my perfect generics only run. As for what Kana's hair color is... Dark brown, apparently, like Fuga's eyebrows.

I just found my first posts about Fates, for nostalgia's sake now that I am officialy the Fates fan of the thread or something. I almost didn't try it out because a different game ran so poorly on Citra that I almost assumed Fates would be the same. Holy shit, imagine not trying out Fates... Also I have a better idea: How about I don't? And what do you mean, actual characters? These guys had so much personality solely thanks to their portraits. I think my favorite was... Not sure if Brigitta or Suzume. I've talked about how much I love the strategist's smug smile, but you know how everyone smiles or something like that when the odds are in their favor for a fight? Suzume just frowned slightly harder. What a wonderful little detail. Girl's so metal, I love her. ...You know, this reminds me, I once had an argument with that Ottservia guy, before I played Fates. He insisted that Fates's artist was the best the series has seen because his portraits have so much personality. I could see no further than the fanservice, and thus I vehemently disagreed. He was right. I don't know if you're reading this, but... You were right. You were completely right. Fanservice aside, I now love this artstyle. It's great. Still wish there was less fanservice, but... Yeah. Sorry! Hahahahaha... Yes. Victoree, victoree. Don't forget, these are Revelation's generics, who come without skills and unremarkable stats. Now imagine a generics only run of Conquest, with all the enemies carrying skills they normally wouldn't get and stuff. Now that sounds like so much fun. Ahahahahahahahahahaha... Genius. I love it. Thanks. Please do. But why? Don't you want to experience T-posing Garon firsthand? I recommend it, it's really worth the trouble.

I just noticed Suzume capped magic. Wow. If her bulk wasn't what it is... Then again, Setsuna got way more statboosters... Heck, pretty sure Suzume straight up didn't get any... Fuck it. I'm sorry, Setsuna. To think I was the self-proclaimed Kaga elitist... Guess I can't call myself that anymore. Heck, I'm pretty sure I'm more of a Fates fan than you two now! As a whole, I mean. We all love Conquest. Next time you want someone to play Fates, show them this. If it doesn't convince them, I don't know what will. Incidentally, any thoughts on the team Sooks? Or anyone, really. I'd really like to know what you think.

So, Fiya Emburem F8s: Revelation. That was a fun experience. I honestly didn't find the map design to be that awful, save for a couple of exceptions, but hey, both Conquest and Birthright had exceptions of their own, so that's not too bad. Besides the ice chapter and the two awful maps where I had to wait for platforms to take me where I needed to go, I found the gimmicks to be unironically fun. White and Black Flames were highlights, great maps in my humble opinion. The difficulty plummeted a bit around the end, but I'd take that over Birthright's hilarious spike that resulted in me having to just barely warpskip Garon because otherwise it was completely impossible. As for the plot, while it wasn't as consistently hilarious as Conquest's, it did have T-posing Garon. That alone made it worth sitting through. God, I laughed so much at that... So yeah, overall, I enjoyed myself. I don't know how much of that stems from my decision to use generics only. I'd say a significant amount, given how infamously horrid the balance in Rev is and how hateable the Nohrian Royals are. As it is, however, I will place Revelation... Right above Birthright. They're more or less on the same level, but Birthright has a couple of seriously awful maps and overall I'd say it was a little more boring than Rev. Here's my team, if you're curious to see what an army of generics looks like by the end. So would I. You kidding me? It was fucking hilarious. Everything Garon in this route was amazing. If I had to rate the Garons, I'd say it goes Birthright <<<<<<<<<< Conquest < Revelation. Conquest's Garon is more consistent in his hilarity (I still remember how much I enjoyed that he kept repeating his "rebellions are like seeds" nonsense over and over), but Revelation has T-posing Garon. So, Rev win, but it's close. Great. Thank you so much Fates. I don't know. More? Why mourn him? I'm happy for him, if anything! He got the most appropriate send off for a character like him.

I am truly glad I was able to give this game the send off it deserved. Thoughts and team in a bit.

Well, that's it. Might as well finish the game now, if this is how quickly it's going to go. At last, I get a good view of Anankos. He's Andross from Star Fox. Great. Love it. Gotta say, I'm disappointed that there wasn't a "Protagonist gets knocked out and hallucinates dead people" sequence in this route, but it's just Izana throwing a party in the afterlife. A scene like that would've made his death almost acceptable. Anyway, I 1-turned Anankos with Kenshi, Wolfgang and Sven. Didn't even need Protagonist, so pathetic. Then the game remembered that Garon existed and warped him in just to kill him off anticlimatically. I love this game. Garon's sole purpose in this route was to T-pose on top of his throne so Xander and Leo would defect. That's literally it. Fucking amazing. Yeah, exactly. How... how good... But his growths are... No! Fates, no! That makes no sense whatsoever...!

Hahahahahahah Okay, Gunter's betrayal wasn't as funny as T-posing Garon, but it was still pretty funny. Not as funny, however, as looking at the map and realizing it's just a bootleg version of Garon's map in Birthright. You know, the map I described as being the worst in the entirety of Fates? Well, thankfully, this isn't nearly as bad. Quite the opposite, it took me five fucking minutes. I just moved Roland and Wolfgang forward, gave them a song from Azura, did a couple of rescuing shenanigans with Brigitte and Suzume... And then Wolfgang one-rounded the old fart. The end. Why did they make his stats so bad? I don't understand. It's like a dumb joke. He's weaker than every generic in the past like, 20 maps! I think I'd have to go as far back as Iago to find a generic that he could go toe-to-toe with! Hilarious. Thanks, Rev. I love ya.

Oh, boohoo, the portrait is dead. What a shame. Fsss... Seriously, Young Garon would've at least been semi-interesting to see. This clown was just whatever, and then the final scene was a carbon copy of the one from the last chapter with Mikoto. Well, that was the worst map in the Valla arc so far, by far. What an insufferable chapter. It can only go up from here, right?

Wow, this map is bad. It's like the one insufferable map with the four tile platforms, except there's only one platform and a thousand enemies are waiting on the other side, so my only recourse is to use my tanks to choke the entrance to the elevator and then just... painstakingly defeat all the enemies over the course of 15 turns. I can't even more the tank a bit further because then the elevator doors close behind them. Yeah, I think this takes the cake for worst Valla map so far. Appropriate, seeing how it has the worst bossman, too. Seriously, Sumeragi? Of all people? Who cares about Sumeragi, I mean, c'mon. Still hyped.

Fuck me, the pursuer is actually good but neither of Roderick's classes can reach S. Thanks, Fates. Guess that's another 5000 gold for me. Ah, no matter. Next map. Gunter once again acts extremely suspicious and then he makes the dumbest mistake and Protagonist somehow doesn't realize. Wonderful. ...You know, I gotta say, this chapter would've been the perfect opportunity to bring out Young Garon. No, I'm serious. The Nohrian children would've gotten their moment of heartfelt grieving like the Hoshidans and we would've gotten a glimpse of the man before he was a T-posing clown. Instead, the Nohrians are just... sort of tagging along (heck, not even, they all disappeared from the story like 3 chapters ago) while the Hoshidans hog the spotlight and I get to kill a character I don't give a shit about. I mean, I suppose I should know better than to expect anything from Fates, but...

Okay, so the infamous Mikoto maze has been... Pretty damn easy. Thankfully, I'd heard about the funny, so I was able to avoid the Kaga moment and then Sven one-rounded Mom. ...Seriously though, that trap is kinda evil, but... Well, I do like that there's a payoff to all of Corrin's naivete in this route. You get to distrust the obvious trap instead of having to watch Corrin fall for it for the billionth time. Still, the 99 damage to everyone was kinda unnecessary. If you've got a fortify in hand it'd be simple enough to fix, but if not...

I still read it as "Tweety" Cake: Profound statement. Me: B E A R D Square has redeemed itself. I may find their gameplay completely unfun, but it has cat. Cats, too, not just cat!

It had a neat combat system that required a little more thought than just pressing A over and over on the best magic available. That was enough to enjoy the 8 stories... Though I wouldn't do the final dungeon.

Why, you...! I'll have you know, I have decimated entire armies, often the enemy ones! Attaboy, Armagon. Teehee Emblem Revelation: Square is the true villain. Lightcosmo is Anthony. That much is true. I do tend to have a better time with unorthodox RPGs. And shorter ones. The whole "spend 100 hours walking around doing fetch quests and grinding" deal is just not my idea of fun. Damnit-- I was gonna make that joke but then I got distracted and you posted first! Aaaargh...!

The duality of man. Anyway @Shrimperor It's just not a style I like. But whaddya mean, "first take you fully agree with"?! @lightcosmo It's not my fault my perception of videogames is objectively correct and yours isn't.

Neither have I, and yet someone must've done something! Hah! Nope. I must've quit an hour into it. I'm afraid Square JRPG gameplay and I don't mix.

No, I said you cost 10 more mana for the same effect. That's not great. And quit accusing me, it was not my fault!

I am going to have nightmares. I almost didn't. It was super subtle. It was a JRPG's magic system that made you a worse version of shit

You guys and your stinkin' traditional JRPGs. God of Cupcakes. I dig it. Well. It's a starte.

Oh God you somehow made it worse-- Riddle me this: Is traditional JRPG or nah? What kind of a name is Tarte...?

Ahahahahahahahahah Amazing. I love it. 10/10 the only thing more beautiful I've seen is T-posing Garon. If nothing else my family will be forever grateful to the dentist for forcing me to do away with the beard. Well, maybe one day I'll find out, but for now I'd rather enjoy my life, thanks. Nope. I don't think my heart is ready yet. I already suffer enough with Takumi's Fun Castle, imagine Takumi's Fun Castle but the enemies are even scarier. I don't think I can. It's all right, nobody will judge you. I mean, I'm in no position to judge anyone when I'm enjoying Revelation lol. YOU! Guess what? Money is important! If you don't have it, my love for you will rust and we can't have secks without love! Sorry