Saint Rubenio

Part 24 - Through the fire and flames.

I'm fond of calling Marcus "Marcus Baracus". You know, B.A. Baracus from the A team? In Spain he was named M.A. Baracus ("mala actitud" obviosly doesn't start with a B like "bad attitude"), so not only does it fit, but it rhymes and sounds good. I dunno, I just like it. I've also always liked pronouncing Wrys' name like a non-english speaking spaniard would pronounce it. Something along the lines of "Guhrruis". I almost died the day I was with some friends playing games on my wii U, and one of them stumbled upon my Wrys mii and said his name exactly like that. Gilliam is another character I gave a nickname to, that being "Gili", short for "gillipollas", which basically means "dumbass". Don't get me wrong, I like Gilliam, but the name was too perfect to pass.

... I... I won't allow you to... uarrk! Let go... let go of me-- of you! Don't you dare... and with my body, no less... don't! ...? Haark... you cannot stop... a man in... auuruguhh...! Nooooo...! Filthy urchin! L-Lady Echidna! What? Here. You dropped this during the battle. Oh, my right pendant! I've been looking for it. Thanks... Uh... Ruben. That's a man's name, isn't it? It's... complicated. Besides, so is Echidna. Hmph. Touché. Well, see you around, Ruben. Yeah, of course. ...why, you... why didn't you tell me all you wanted to do was to give her back her pendant?! I thought you knew! We share a brain! Our minds are not one. Eh, good to know, although five minutes earlier wouldn't have hurt. Hmph... but then, what were you saying back there? With that "a man in..."? I don't even know what I was saying! I was wrestling myself! How was I supposed to think my words through when my hands are trying to break my own nose?! ... Part 23 - Dragonforce. You beat me to the punch. It's not much of a risk, really. In the DS games, the arena is neigh impossible to use, but here? It's extremely easy. Here, take a gander. I didn't use this screencap in the update, but this is the closest she came to dying, and all I had was press B and it was over. So long as you remember not to bet over 750 gold, and to retreat as soon as the character's in danger of dying, there isn't the slightest chance of losing anybody. That's why I felt it was a little cheaty, although my decision to promote her at level 19 eases my mind somewhat. I thought BS did as well. As far as I know, no, it doesn't. I think that's a stretch of a pun. The man isn't joking around, stop him. Being a tyrant, killing innocents by working them to death at the mines... that's all fine and dandy, but making puns!? Unacceptable! The Castor of lecherous priests trying to preach at someone. Least it's less horrifying than some real people. That moment when you realise the only reason he's not as bad as real people is that he's not real. Also Saul, we need to talk. Periods matter. You need to take them seriously. Periods are so underrated. Are we sure that he's not about to have the horse attack? Rear Orlo in the stomuch? That would be badass, actually. I am concerned? Maybe she's been possessed? I can't tell for certain. She might be, she might not. Well, only time will tell... Next time, it's Ein time! I need to not reply so much. Nonsense. Why, this reply was shorter than your previous ones! I want more! Humour me!

Hahahah! I shan't let the young ones surpass me yet! COME AT ME! FOR MY HONOR AS A KNIGHT OF PHERAE!!! Marcus looks awfully happy today... Eh, let him be. If it helps him win us the battle... ... Is something the matter, Lance? ...no, it's nothing... I'm just thinking... what it could've been... ... Part 22 - Tragedy. Before we proceed further, I'd like to address something I'm sure many want to know: yes, I couldn't think of anything better for this part's intro take a look at this. This is a picture of my late kitty, may she rest in peace. If you direct your eyes to your right, you'll see Nightmare. For those who aren't aware, Nightmare is a very basic editor for FE. Those're Marcus's growths. As you can see, they're untouched. I know, it's weak proof, you could just say "BUT YOU EDITED THEM OFF-SCREEN!". Quite honestly, considering how astronomically blessed he is, I would think that as well. All I can say is, I didn't edit anything, he's great on his own, and I couldn't be any happier about it. Now, on to the replies.

Wrys! Ah... Ruben, right? How are you feeling? Not too bad. The bandages are annoying, but at least I don't have to around looking like a mummy. Guess this clumsy piece of cloth is good for something. Must you be so disrespectful? What if Sir Lance or Sir Jerrot heard what you just said? With my mouth, no less! Lance and Jerrot aren't here, are they? No harm done. Anyway... Wrys, I wanted to talk to you about something. Yes? You're abusing your powers. Now, that's not fair... You are. You've saved me, Lord Roy and everyone else a few times now. And I couldn't be any more thankful. Yet... I worry for you, my friend. Come now, I'll be fine... No you won't, if you keep this up. You looked seriously hurt when you came to rescue us. ...my back was just acting up, is all. Nonsense. He is right. You must not push your limits further, lest you risk breaking them. ...in war, all have to make some sacrifices. I can't believe you just said that. Just, try not to die, will you, Wrys? You're getting too old for this. Dying is not on top of my list of priorities, don't worry. Good. I mean, what would I do without you? What indeed... I cannot go letting you roam freely, now can I? I wouldn't if I were you. Anyway, that's all. Now... Now we must speak about last night. I couldn't sleep at all! Why in the world were you moving us around so much? I was unconfortable! How can you girls sleep at night!?! I just couldn't find a single position in which these didn't-- Oh, you bastard... Not again!! I may be old, but this... this is quickly getting older than even me... learn to live together already! We have no idea when we are going to be able to fix this, if it is even possible at all! ... ...yessir... Part 21 - The greatest boss.

Merlinus! Do you have a vulnerary to spare? Well, yes, I think I do... is your eye acting up? No, it's not me. Father Wrys isn't feeeling too well. Oh, my! Give me a minute... hm... Aha, here. If he needs anything else, please do come see me. Thank you. How are you feeling, Father? ...desperate. I do not know if I can handle this situation I am in. Well, feel free to tell me. I may only be a crippled knight, but perhaps I could help in some way. Well, let me tell you a metaphor to... exemplify the situation I am in. Very well. Let us say, hypothetically speaking, that two different people were inside the same body. How would you separate them again? ...well... I'm sorry, I don't get what it means. Please explain... There is nothing to explain. I lied. That was not a metaphor. That was exactly the situation I am in. ... ... ... ... Part 20 - Goin' Nord. None of you wished me a happy birthday. I'm disappointed in you all. As punishment, I've had fun these days and as a result, the update's been slightly delayed. I hope you all suffered throughout these days of not getting to see me suck at Fire Emblem. Nah just joking, please don't leave the thread, I crave for your attention!

In hindsight, this looks fucking atrocious. But hey, this time I have my shoulder pads! Part 19 - FE6 chapter 10 except it's actually chapter 11.

Chapter 22, FE12/3 book 2. Chapter 21 is a pretty good map with multiple things to do (get the Starlight from Michalis, recruit him in FE12, final arena and statbooster secret shop), and 24 is a really good final map in my eyes (read, unlike half the other final maps in the series, it has more to it than "spend 2 turns pummeling the final boss" and is actually quite challenging). I can also give 23 a pass, despite it being rather bland (dragons and Sorcerers, dragons and Sorcerers), because Gharnef and the Aum had to be taken care of somehow, and if you're like me and don't like the chapter, it's extremely easy to warpskip. However, chapter 22 just shouldn't exist. It has no importance to the plot at all (if I recall correctly, both the opening and the ending of the chapter are "Lord Marth, more stairs!"), it cannot be warpskipped because the throne is inside a locked room, it's even more boring than chapter 23 (dragons and more dragons, with the occasional siege tome Sorcerer. At least in chapter 23, the narrow hallways made it harder to reach the Sorcerers before they could nuke your units, and there were multiple Sorcerers standing close to one another. Here, they are on their own and within Paladin range) and the only side objective is getting the treasure (the only new unit, Nagi, recruits herself at the beginning of the chapter), which, by the way, is painfully uninteresting (effective weaponery against dragons, if I'm not mistaken. Having the regalia and all the remaining effective weapons from the earlier dragon arc, these are just not worth the trouble). It's not even good for getting some experience, because it comes so late into the game! It's simply an unavoidable waste of time, and the main reason I usually skip 23. After the borefest that is 22, I just don't feel like going through 23. It's not quite as horrendous as FE6's chapter 24, but that one had a semblance of an excuse for its existance in Jahn's exposition. This one's the definition of "filler". And bad one, at that.

No, I'm sorry, the new update isn't up yet. It's just, I haven't laughed this hard at something in a while. I mean it. There's no way I was going to wait days before telling you that. My highest regards to you, Dayni. Please keep it up.

Father Wrys? Ah, hello, Lady Elen. How is your day going? Not bad, thank you... I'm just happy we haven't gotten into another fight yet. That might change at any moment, though... are you coping with everything all right? I think so. Thank you for your concern. I wanted to ask you a question. And what may it be? You've experience with staves, have you not? Why aren't you helping us? I'm not trying to offend you, I just... No offense taken, fret not. The truth is, I have been in far too many wars... I have taken many a wound. I have seen people die before my eyes. I have witnessed families be torn apart. Countries ruined. Villages razed to the ground. Misery. Tragedy. Despair. ... I will not just stand and watch as war rages on, but... I fear my body and especially my mind would not be able to take fighting in the frontlines again. I hope you can forgive me... Of course I forgive you! I... completely understand. I really do. Thank you. ...my, that got depressing quite fast, did it not? Here, have some tea and cookies! Thank you... Munch, munch. Part 18 - Man of manliness.

Here I thought I was the only one who thought that... although I prefer mocking his lack of facial expressions, Jayden's inability to open doors if you miss the QTEs, and Scott's... everything about Scott, really. I'll avoid further spoilers, but yeah. That said, however, I do not like Heavy Rain unironically, so love to mock it as I may, it's not a good answer to the OP's question. There's this old, rather obscure game called Indiana Jones and the Emperor's Tomb. When I was a kid, I used to joke with a cousin of mine, saying he looked like his father, and we started to call him "Indiana James". I also loved to take advantage of the game's many funny minor glitches, like the fact that doing an action right before pulling a level made it look like he was pulling it with his crotch. Sending Indy into one of the boss fights and laugh as I watched him be flung all over the place like a ragdoll by the boss was also great fun. The animations and sound effects in that game were so great, even losing was fun. For the longest time, I just replayed the same three/four levels over and over, beating everyone up because the fighting was (and is) absolutely amazing, and then killing myself in order to do it again. I'm not sure if it counts, but it's the closest thing to a game "I love to mock" I can think of, and, hey, I just wanted to talk about this game, because it's my dang childhood, and with all its quirks, I don't think it's aged badly at all. It's still a blast all the way through.

Part 17 - Son of Legace. Stupid story about me nobody cares about time! I'm still working on the name. Anyhow! The other day, I used that FE sorter some youtubers have been using lately to find out who are my favourite Archaneans. The result was this. It's pretty accurate, all things considered! Arran should be number 1 as well, and I would've put the Sabre Knights and Athena over Caeda, Wendell and Lorenz, and Nyna's too high but aside from that, it's a decent list. Try it out! It takes ages to finish these things (I tried with the whole series once. Never again, ended up quitting at Binding Blade), but it's fun enough. Now, for the replies...

Since his growths aren't that good, it'll help him match everyone else. I don't know what anybody else thinks, but with FE12's growths, I feel that giving the growth drop to most units is overkill. Only a few (like Matthis) can actually make good use of it.

Oof... Well, while the sheer hilarity of using Forgettable #1 and #2 would be great, I think Matthis's a more sensible choice. He arrives quite early, which gives him a slight chance at growing into something decent. Mercenary's a good early class for him, since it allows him to train his sword rank up a little, and a higher speed growth without sacrificing much in the way of stats. Although, he should hop back on his horse after a few levels (level 10, perhaps, but that's up to you). Will you be using the DLC items? If so, I highly recommend giving him the growth drop, though, since his growths are rather low for FE12's standards, but not so much that they wouldn't work even with a boost (Arran, Bantu).

Dear, dear, so many choices... I'll try to be reasonable. Use Frost, Tomas and Matthis. Sorry. As for the MU, let her be a female Archer, and no, I don't hate you.

Father Wrys! Yes, Sir Lance? Please forgive my bluntness, but... what in the world was that!? I can't stop thinking about it! I am afraid I do not follow... You vanished into thin air, and mere moments later, you returned carrying the injured Lord Roy, as if nothing had happened! Ah, that! Ho ho ho ho! You saved us, Father Wrys. But I must know... Oh, you "must"? Is somebody threatening to do you harm if you don't uncover my secrets? Of course not! Who would do such a thing?! The man who did your eye in, for instance. ...if you're implying I'm in cahoots with that wretched monster-- Relax, I am not implying anything. My apologies. I shall explain when the time comes. But it has not just yet. Be patient! All shall become clear in due time. ... Part 16 - Barnacles that blistered. My apologies, I couldn't think of a better title. Don't let it be a testament to the update's quality, though. More on that below. Even more apologies for the delay. I made the mistake of starting both Mother 3 and FE12 once more, as well as buying subnautica, training an amiibo to kick my friends' asses when they come over for some sm4sh, and going to driving school to get my license at long last (for those who were reading my first LP, yes, I failed. Got a problem with that?). To top it all off, the last update left me a little burnt out. I don't know about you, but rickrolls aside, I bored my ass off writing that one. Not this one, though. This one's much more interesting, in my humble opinion. But it's fine now. I'm finally going to be able to play FE6 again! Woohoo!

Oh, dear... that's not good... F-father Wrys! What are we to do? Lord Roy... he's... ...not yet. Please, leave me alone for a moment. I need some space... What?! Do as I say! Well, then... ...now, let's see... ...ah, perfect! I see I haven't lost my touch just yet. And now... TCHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~ ...father Wrys...? Where did-- TCHEEEEEEEEEEEE~ Sorry? What?! Where did you come from-- ...wait, that's... Lord Roy! Sound the retreat. I didn't have the time to do it. I'll take care of Lord Roy. But, how... Does that matter now? Everyone else is still out there! Ah! Of course! At once, Father! ...dear me, maybe I should've chosen a more inconspicuous appearance... What would you have thought of this, Arran? Ah... I pray you're well. You, and the rest of Archanea. One day... Part 15 - Intense guys. I've recently started a new FE12 ironman run. Just for fun, I won't be bothering you with that one. I just wanted to share with you the fact that, since I picked the maniac difficulty... ...I lost everyone except Caeda and Cain. Ain't that great? And as of chapter 6, I have 18 units. Eighteen! But at least this time, I didn't get the world's shittiest MU. It's only the world's shittiest Pegasus Knight. She should be better as a Cavalier, though. Except she's worse than Rody and Matthis, but that's an unfair comparison. Matthis, after all, attained godhood. Anyway, that's all. Back to the topic at hand.

Use Barth and Bors as well as Wendy, and teach the enemy the true power of the Ostian triangle. As for the healer, Elen's pretty much the indisputably worst magic unit in the game, so go for her. That's because he is better than Lilina, having way better speed, which helps him dodge more reliably than Hector's heir, and joining with slightly better bases 5 chapters earlier. Lilina's fun to use, but she's definitely not optimal, and certainly not good enough to be excluded with the likes of Milady, Dieck and Rutger. My opinion is that Lilina should be replaced by Perceval in the list of excluded units. Perceval is an absolutely amazing unit, even in normal mode. In the sort of team you're aiming for, he'd stick out like a sore thumb. These are my humble opinions.

I guess you mean faux-Zyne? Although... Hm... no, sorry, I don't think that works. "How... this can't be happening!" I mean, I can't read japanese, but this guy is as generic as it gets. I assume it's something along those lines. He ain't dead, right? No harm done, then. She certainly is more competent than Echidna. And looks better, to boot! Raigh doesn't exist in this game, thus making this game automatically worse than Binding Blade. Now seriously, I'd really like to know how the creator explained this chick's presence here in the plot. I mean, she's supposed to die at Ilia. Either she pulled the "oh, no, I just retreated" BS, or in this scenario, Roy just went to Sacae, and this is all happening while Roy's busy killing Roartz. Fireemblem.jpg, again. With any luck, it should. Oh, no, that's not it, it's just that both Sergei and Toby are slow as snails in a sandstorm. Woohoo! Lookin' forward to it, as usual.

Part 14 - Joy. Jeez, I take a few more days than usual to push an update, and you guys start replying like machine guns! What happened?

... Father Wrys, we're about to move out. ...oh! Of course, my apologies, Sir Marcus. You look quite pensative... is something amiss? Quite on the contrary, I am just trying to figure out the best way to ensure nothing amiss comes to pass. I see... In any case, I am ready. Let us go give these pirates what for. Indeed! Part 13 - He of the skill. I don't know when it happened, but somebody deleted the messed up version of part 11, so I will no longer look like an incompetent, triple-posting buffoon, or I would, had I not made another post ranting about it and especifically asked for it not to be removed. Whoever you are, thanks for taking the time to do it!

There's going to be a delay on the next update. My fears of the last forum maintenance making me lose all my progress on the update were well-founded, so I'm going to have to write it all over. My apologies.

Please, both of you, try to remember... what happened, exactly? How many more times must I tell you this? One moment he was standing in front of me, about to be consumed by my spell, and the next he was behind me and Sid, striking Ruben in the head. Speaking of whom, where is the soldier, Sid? He ran off with Sir Marcus to try and find the spy. I see. What about you, Margaret? What happened when you found the spy? Same as father Wrys: we had him cornered, then I blinked, and he'd slaughtered my forces and wounded me. I don't even know why he spared me... ...he wanted to prove his power. To show you, in your last moments, that you stood no chance against him. Bastard... it's a good thing you came and rescued me. I guess that means we're even from the time you impersonated me. It was necessary. Had you not done it, I would've died today. I hold nothing against you or your friends. Hm... Where is Ruben? I've questions for him, as well. Lady Elen is with him. She said she'd come as soon as she could... I'm here, I'm here. How is he? Not too well... he will not die, but the wound left him very debilitated. ... Just a moment ago, however, he was feeling strong enough to answer the questions you wanted me to ask him. What did he say? Apparently, he just saw the spy charging at Sid with a blade he'd concealed within his doublet. "I figured he would be able to defend himself from such a fat, unfit man just fine", he said. By the time he realized Sid couldn't move, it was too late to do anything but jump in front of the blade. ... Oh, Sir Marcus! We didn't hear you come in. Did you find the spy? I'm sorry to say we did not. Wherever he is, it's not Ostia. ...and Sid? He headed for Ruben's quarters when we arrived. I assume he is there. I think I'll join him, if you'll excuse me. Of course. We, too, must leave. Yes, Sir Perceval requires our presence at Etruria. Rest assured, we'll continue our investigations when possible. Lord Roy is in the throne room, if you wish to speak to him before leaving. I think I will, thank you. Margaret, ready everything up for our departure. At once, General Cecilia! It is quite late, Miss Elen. You should probably retire to your chambers. I'll look after Ruben. I was about to do so, it's been a quite long day. Good night, father Wrys. Mm. ... Lady Elen. How is the tactician? Sir Marcus? He's sleeping now... he isn't bleeding too much anymore. I see... ...if you have no more to say, I'll beg your leave. I'm quite tired. It's quite understandable. Sleep well. ...he, of all people, would give his life to save a friend... perhaps I was rather mistaken about him... ...as a person. What sort of tactician would do that? Couldn't he have pushed the soldier out of the way? Part 12 - A very trustworthy person. I should probably mention, spoilers for Heavy Rain ahead. If anybody cares, yeah. Go beat Heavy Rain before reading this update.

Treck. Commander Jerrot. How is your head? It is fine... Treck, while you fought in the castle, I... found Noah. ... He did not survive the battle. ... ...I'm done for. It may not seem like much, but... this wound has debilitated me. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to lift a lance again. You are the last hope of our group. Please, Treck. Don't let Noah's death... and my sacrifice... be in vain. ...I won't, commander. Thank you, Treck. ...may I go back to my nap now? Of course. Go ahead. ... ...I'm sorry, Noah... your death could've been avoided... if only I hadn't been so weak... ...Commander? Don't worry about me, Treck. Keep on napping. It wouldn't do to be tired for the next battle. ... Part 11 - 300 pictures of training and boss fighting. (4th attempt at pushing the update without being a complete fucking moron)