I'd have to say either this:
Glory Days Waitress (probably late 30s-40s): Hi, I'll be serving you *bumps into my foot* Oh sorry.
Me (I was 17 at the time): Oh it's my fault.
Waitress: Big feet, huh? Y'know what they say about guys with big feet?
Me: ...
MS and Deathreapr: *laughs like fucking idiots*
Or This:
Different Glory Days Waitress: My name is Caddie and I'll be serving you.
*MS, reapr and I order. Caddie walks away*
Reapr: She seems nice.
Me: Yeah. Too bad she has a hooker name.
MS: What?
Me: She said her names "Candy" right? That's a hooker name to me.
Reapr: Dude, she said "Caddy."
Me: ...Oh.
I gotta stop going to Glory Days.