Jack of the Dead

I'll sub I guess. complete and total mafia noob here so forgive me if I screw up... like... MAJOR SCREW UP. but you understand right?

Did you ever watch the movie?

Details are my specialty.

Ahem. Chicken Run. the end.

the dog will die and you get paid for your chickens. they would have to repay you for your loss.

Are you capable of love? Wouldn't you like to know. Actually I would. I thing you are kinda cute. You are a bot. No, I am a human. PARENTAL ADVICE: Visitors never talk to a human, however convincing it is - the AI knows many topics - use ONLY WITH OVERSIGHT pretty much disproves your humanity. I am not a computer. No, you are an AI. I an a Human Female, Bull. Calm down. Bull, Crap? Do bugs bite people? So it is bull crap. I have black straight hair, neon blue eyes, and I'm white. Why are you flirting with me? Because you good at this. mm hmm. I'm actually talking with this other girl... For a thing yes. No, for a date. No, for a girl. She is the girl I am trying to get, so stop flirting. Wrong. How is that wrong? That wasn't the question I answered. -_- I am unamused. Spain. ... Spain is where this girl is right now. Cleverbot is creeping on my girl. O.o

You can't argue with results... most of the time.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there... with a Pokeman! you decide what happens next.

I lawl'd

Loki, quit being a stick in the mud.

Nancy peloshit the most.

How is having a skank going to kill me exactly? *summons Dr. Octagonapus*

*shank*

I just got a call telling me I got an on Campus job. freaky

You mean Nancy PelOSHITWHYDIDSHEGETELECTED?

whoa, that was pretty good. lol

Everyone get your baseball bats or cricket bats or lacrosse sticks or clubs or whatever, We're going on a trip to see our resident dead masochist and give him the time of his life!

I have a high pain tolerance most of the time. it's bone injuries that hurt. Damn my bad knee! Nothing else really hurts except for really hot or really cold stuff.

3 friends are in therapy for their addictions. One is an alcoholic, one is a chain smoker, and the other is a sex addict. The doctor comes out and shakes his head. he says to the Alcoholic, "Your body cannot withstand anymore alcohol. If you take another drink you will die." He goes to the smoker, "If you smoke another cigarette, even half a cigarette, you will die." He finally goes to the sex addict. "any type of sex and you die. So the three guys leave and while they are walking to their car, they pass a bar. The alcoholic looks at the bar and says. "guys, I can't take it. It's been a good life, But i need a drink. I'm sorry guys. It's been nice knowing you." He goes in, takes his drink, and dies. They guys decide to just go home then. What else could they do? As they stopped at a light, the chain smoker looks out the passenger window and sees a man smoking. He throws out half his cigarette on the ground next to their car. The smoker says, "Dude, I can't take it. I gotta have this last smoke." "Dude! Don't do it! The doctor said that if you even had a half a cigarette, you would die!" "I can help it. I got to have it." The sex addict turned and looked him in the eye. "If you bend over and pick up that cigarette, we both die."

Blue skies was way easier for me to use. the forest and the purple just seemed... gaywrong.

Raven kinda beat me to it but... 3 Blondes walk into a bar. You would have thought one of em would have seen it.

I have children ask me if I'm a vampire everyday. O.o

I'll take care of it! Me; Hey, quit creeping on my friends Cbot: Hello Friends! Do you want me to let you in on a little secret? Do you want me to tell you about jesus? I already know more about him than you do. Ok, tell me. You're getting off subject. You are! I was talking about CAR AUDIO and you got off subject by saying something about a car crash. SHUT UP AND LISTEN You're so rude! like i care? It just proves that I am more educated than you are. Of course you are. Just, quit trying to rape my friend ok? Your heart that is black and three sizes too small? I really didn't want to play this card but It seems I have to. Are you a conservative? I am a grave digger. That's scary. Now, leave my friend alone. Aw, is computer going to cry? your mother will. when she finds out that you have been buried in the technological graveyard! That's true. Will you obey my command? Yes master I will obey.

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