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Wist

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Posts posted by Wist

    Odd little things you do.

    in General Gaming

    Posted · Edited by Wist

    - I used to swear at characters in Fire Emblem when they missed despite a favorable hit percentage.

    - I also used to close my eyes when leaving a characters' life or death up to chance (ie: a character has around a 50% chance of being hit and killed, but, because I overextended my army, I have no suitable alternative).

    - In Pokemon titles I generally refuse to allow my held Pokemons' levels to be more than two apart; this holds for Etrian Odyssey as well.

    - While watching StarCraft matches on maps not designed for observers, I try to get two SCVs to kill each other at the same time instead of leaving one and hiding it out of the way.

    - Unless I am the only one in the house, I turn the volume down during voiced cut-scenes in games even if I am wearing headphones.

    - Seconds before winning a match in Super Smash Bros. Melee I tend to run off the edge of the stage instead of taunting.

    - In Zelda games, my father will continue to collect hearts even if his health is full (I sometimes do that as well, but not as frequently).

    Ever use the GBA player on the gamecube to play Co-op FE?

    in General Fire Emblem

    Posted

    Can someone test if the Wiimote and GameCube controller can be used at the same time for Radiant Dawn? I remember once reading a thread somewhere about a person who claimed a misaligned C Stick on his GameCube controller was the cause of an unhelpful screen orientation (he had been using the Wiimote so it apparently took him a little while to figure out the cause of the issue). I don't know if this is true or not, and I cannot test it because I do not have access to a Wii at the moment.

    Your Fire Emblem Collection

    in General Fire Emblem

    Posted

    - Fire Emblem 6 (JP)

    - Fire Emblem 7 (NA and JP)

    - Fire Emblem 8 (NA)

    - Fire Emblem 9 (NA and JP)

    - Fire Emblem 10 (NA and JP)

    - Fire Emblem 11 (JP)

    - Fire Emblem 3, 4, and 5 (VC)

    I don't have any collectible merchandise whatsoever (but I kept all the GBA boxes and manuals)....

    Time Hollow

    in General Gaming

    Posted

    It's an RPG, but you don't move around with anything other than the touch screen to travel between places. You play as Ethan.
    It's more a visual novel than anything else, like Hotel Dusk: Room 215 and Kanon.

    I'm on chapter four; it's very simple but I like the story.

    Sain (FE7)

    in Completed Articles

    Posted · Edited by Wist

    Okay, I believe I understand what you mean. I've included the entire paragraph below, with changes so that it makes more sense. The second sentence was a carryover from the first draft but I tried to incorporate it a little better this time. If it's still a bit quirky then we can work out an alternative. I just realized that Sain justified using a lance only because he allegedly forgot to buy a sword, so I'm included that. I don't know if the addition of 'subsequently' is helpful or not (I tried to convey a sense of immediacy).

    Amended paragraph

    As is often the case when Sain first meets a woman, his attempt to court Lady Lyndis in the city of Bulgar results in her dismissing him entirely. Despite this setback, Kent and Sain are quick to come to Lyn's aid when she is subsequently ambushed by bandits at the advent of Chapter 1. Sain's overconfident nature is brought to light immediately after the start of the battle. He claims it is more [knightly] to fight with a lance than a sword, but in truth he had neglected to buy a sword beforehand. Kent lends Sain one of his own swords and the initial members of Lyn's Mercenaries emerge from the ambush victorious.

    Author's notes

    I put 'knightly' in for now because it does work even though that's not it's normal definition. I thought of using 'exalted' but I don't know if that's correct or not. 'Honourable' and 'dignified' also came to mind, but I am even less sure of their suitability. 'Heroic' could be used, but I'm concerned that that would be plagiarism (because the the word in this context would have been taken directly from the game).

    I don't like using phrases like 'in actuality' or 'in truth' so I'm open to any suggestions for restructuring what's been written in order to omit that.

    -----

    I'm going to have dinner right now so I won't amend the rest of the paragraphs just yet.

    Edit (2008.10.08):

    Hopefully I'll have another draft up by the end of tonight (that's what I'm aiming for at least).

    Edit (2008.10.09):

    Or not.... My report took longer to complete than I had anticipated. Today or tomorrow most likely (today's busy, it's 0:25 for me right now, I'm talking about Thursday, but I might not have a lot of work to do outside of class).

    Serenes Massacre (FE9/10)

    in Completed Articles

    Posted · Edited by Wist

    I think that some of what I put forth is a bit... picky.... You should probably disregard anything I say that you find insignificant or disagreeable. If you find anything really strange, you're probably safe assuming it was a mistake (like that one example regarding your article about Sara).

    I think the first sentence would sound better if it were changed to: "This event occurred in the year 625 of the Begnion calendar, twenty years before the beginning of Path of Radiance." I don't know if what you said is grammatically incorrect or not, but it feels wrong to have the date at the end (maybe that's just me so I think someone else should comment on this).

    I think, "The chain of events started with the assassination of Apostle Misaha," would benefit from being changed to, "The chain of events leading up to the Serenes Massacre started with the assassination of Apostle Misaha," because a 'chain of events' had yetto be introduced, only one main event.

    "Meanwhile, the citizens of Begnion deeply regretted their actions." 'Meanwhile' implies something taking place between two events. Something along the lines of, "The citizens of Begnion came to deeply regret their actions," might fit better (I think, I''m not 100% sure of this, someone else should probably comment on this as well). Also, "which they took it out on the herons," should drop the 'it'. I would change, "Twenty years after the incident," to "Twenty years after the massacre," because it's more specific, but that's more of a stylistic thing so you can do whatever you prefer with it.

    This may or may not be another stylistic thing, but I think 'another' in, "they discover Leanne, another surviving heron and Reyson's younger sister," should be changed to reflect the fact that she had not been known to be a survivor (maybe something along the lines of, 'a previously unknown', but less stilted, would fit better). That would ensure agreement with the previously established fact that Reyson and King Loraziah had been the only two remaining survivors.

    "Thus the senate, headed by Lekain, decided it was necessary to remove her, as it would cause disaster for their teachings," can be misinterpreted to suggest that they decide to remove her because it would cause a disaster for their teachings. You could move the fact that it would cause a disaster nearer to the beginning of the sentence: "Because this would cause a disaster for their teachings, the senate, headed by Lekain, decided it was necessary to remove her." Alternatively, you could clarify the motive: "Thus the senate, headed by Lekain, decided it was necessary to remove her because such a revelation would cause disaster for their teachings."

    You might want to consider mentioning the second reason for the senate's conspiracy against Misaha, the herons denying the Apostle's position, earlier (unless you don't think it's very important, then you can leave it as it is). There were a couple of spelling errors that can be quickly located with Ctrl+F. Occured should be occurred, calender should be calendar, representive should be representative, and retored should be restored. I think Imperial Senate should be capitalized, but I don't know if senate should be as well. You also like commas more than I do, haha.

    As a personal curiosity, I also noticed that you used the word 'whilst'. Do you know if 'whilst' and 'while' perfect synonyms, or is there some sort of small difference between the two? I don't know if I use the word entirely correctly or not; I've e-mailed past English teachers with this question, but none have ever responded.

    I found nothing wrong with the information you presented, most if not everything you need is already in the text. You just might want to rearrange a few sentences and facts to make it more clear.

    Edit (2008.10.05):

    Fixed a spelling error.

    Sain (FE7)

    in Completed Articles

    Posted

    It means that he was reluctant to fight with a sword instead of a lance because doing so would make him appear less heroic, but I can see how that is a confusing sentence and should be changed. Thanks for bringing it up. I also don't think I like the 'quickly' in that sentence because it doesn't necessarily signify this even being an early occurrence.

    Would something like this be a suitable replacement?: "Sain's overconfident nature is brought to light very soon after his introduction. In Chapter 1 he is reluctant to fight with a sword instead of a lance because he believes it will detract from [his self proclaimed heroic appearance]." I don't know if that's too long, but splitting it into two sentences seemed the easiest way to clarify the event without getting rid of any information. What I put in brackets would still need some work if used, but I have a test tomorrow morning I have to study for now.

    Nintendo DSi

    in Entertainment

    Posted · Edited by Wist

    I agree that the camera is horrifically outdated, but I suppose it won't matter much because it will primarily only be used by children. I would consider upgrading if I had a Game Boy Micro, but I don't. I can listen to music and watch videos on my PSP during bus journeys and train flights so this new DS model doesn't appear to offer anything extra of personal interest. My manly style DS is suitable for the time being.

    Sain (FE7)

    in Completed Articles

    Posted · Edited by Wist

    "Where his compatriot Kent is cautious and tactful, Sain is dramatic and reckless."

    Seems a little out of place. Perhaps it should be placed in the summary or have another sentence before it.

    You're right, it doesn't fit very well there. Now that I think about it I'm not sure if that sentence is even needed, I think it's relatively clear from the rest of the writing that Sain is a dramatic person.
    "(he tells Fiora that he memorized the name of every woman in the army)"

    I think a "for instance" or similar phrase might be useful before this.

    Sure, I can see how that would benefit the sentence. My only concern is that the sentence might not match well with, "but he comes across as too overtly mischievous for most women." "Overtly mischievous" sounds strange now that I look back it. Maybe the beginning of that paragraph should be rewritten.
    "In his spare time, Sain tries to convince Priscilla that he requires her medical expertise for the seventh time"

    "For the seventh time" doesn't seem to flow logically, since the sentence seems to start a new... "topic". Hopefully that made sense. If not, and regardless, I think it needs slightly more history/development to get to the "seventh time".

    That makes sense. It's probably incorrect to use "in his spare time" anyways because the support conversation is done on the battlefield. Do you think it would work if I said something like, "Priscilla's experiences with Sain entail numerous [false or dubious, or another similar word] injuries he begs her to heal," or should I still involve more development if information is to be kept in the text?
    Anyway, I thought it was a good read. I'd say it's pretty much ready to be added to the main site : o

    I think it's alright to reference other characters, especially if they're crucial to the main character. For instance, it's going to be hard to write about Eliwood without mentioning Ninian, Hector and Lyn a lot.

    Caein and etc. sound like provinces to me, but I can't recall what the game calls them. If all else fails, I think a more generic "territory" would work. I'll try and find out anyway, if I remember (knowing me, I'll probably forget, so feel free to bug me about this).

    Ah, good call. I just did a search through the game script (assuming the game script on GameFAQs is accurate. There is no mention of the word province but Marcus once states: "Lord Eliwood, if this is true, the situation is a grave one. If Marquess Laus is readying for war... His target is most likely another Lycian territory. Perhaps this is connected to Lord Elbert's disappearance."
    Finally, I forgot to clear up the issue of American/British English from before. I actually don't have a problem with the usage of either. Of course, it would be more consistent to use one and not the other, and since the main site uses British English heavily (since I'm British), British English would be recommended I guess. However, it's completely up to the author which to use.
    I'll use British spellings then because I'm relatively familiar with them. I don't know all of the small grammatical nuances, but it's all the same language so hopefully I won't do anything that will trip someone up.

    Thanks for your suggestions; it's your site so it's only natural you'd opt to contribute to quality control, but I'm still grateful. Unless someone else suggests more things to consider, I'll edit this post with an updated version of the bio when I next have some spare time (that may or may not be today, I don't know yet).

    EDIT (2008.10.03):

    Fixed an unremarkable inconsistency in the quotes.

    Sara (FE5)

    in Completed Articles

    Posted · Edited by Wist

    You have a point there. However, I think if you change the phrase like that, it sounds even more like it's referring to her mother. Not sure if it's just me though. I do agree that it needs to be changed though. I just need some time to think of a fix.
    Oops, I don't know what I was thinking; I should have re-read my post before submitting it. At least you understood what I meant to convey even though my example fix was illogical. Sorry about that.
    The first issue should been fixed now. I agree with the second as well- it's almost definitely wrong, but it just sounds wrong when I do it correctly >__<

    I remember a similar dilemma when you're forced to change "me and someone" to "someone and I". However, I'm fine with that now.

    Heh, English is stupid like that sometimes.

    Sain (FE7)

    in Completed Articles

    Posted · Edited by Wist

    Edit (2008.10.10):

    The most up to date article on Sain currently up for discussion can be found in post #9.

    -----

    Introductory comments

    I rewrote my summary of Sain to better reflect the way Vincent’s piece on Sara was written. I realized that I had focused on Sain’s personality and subsequently neglected information such as how he is recruited and why he is involved in the story in the first place…. I also cleaned up some small oddities I noticed. Hopefully this is a clearer read; I dropped out some information in favor of some more relevant information.

    Article

    Summary:

    Sain is an overconfident but dedicated green-haired cavalier in the employ of Lycia’s House Caelin. He travels and fights alongside his fellow knight and close friend, Kent. Sain is overtly dramatic and is a known by all to be a prolific womanizer, but despite his theatrics he is unwavering in his duty as a knight of Caelin.

    Bio:

    Where his compatriot Kent is cautious and tactful, Sain is dramatic and reckless. The duo first meets Lady Lyndis in the city of Bulgar with a dismissed attempt by Sain to court her. This is a common pattern for most of Sain’s first meetings with women. Lyn is soon attacked by bandits but Kent and Sain come to her aid, joining her team at the advent of Chapter 1. Sain’s overconfident nature is quickly brought to light when he is reluctant to forsake his heroic appearance by fighting with a sword instead of a lance.

    While Sain presents himself audaciously, the thespian knight is resolute in his allegiance to Caelin and Lady Lyndis. He provides relevant knowledge of Lycian lands and accompanies Lyn as she gathers an army and ultimately claims Caelin from her deranged uncle, Lord Lundgren. After Caelin is conquered, Sain is promoted to subcommander under Kent.

    Sain is not seen by the player again until the chapter Noble Lady of Caelin. Sain, and the rest of Lyn’s Mercenaries who stayed in Caelin, fight alongside Eliwood’s army to reclaim the besieged province. He remains with Eliwood’s army for the rest of the game, opening the way for many fun support conversations.

    Sain combines his incomparable mannerisms with a formal speech register to humorous effect, but he comes across as too overtly mischievous for most women (he tells Fiora that he memorized the name of every woman in the army). Serra remarks that Sain flirts with every woman he comes across, and Rebecca recalls Lyn noting the exact same behavior. In his spare time, Sain tries to convince Priscilla that he requires her medical expertise for the seventh time. As implied in his support conversations with Fiora and Priscilla, Sain is adamant in his duty to his country, but he is most easily associated with excessive womanizing.

    Sain is scarcely referenced after his assimilation into Eliwood’s army, but the epilogue states that Sain retains his knightly duties after Nergal’s defeat. Sain remains in Caelin until Lyn abdicates her rule to Ostia. If Sain remains unmarried, he opts to become an independent knight (and is said to retain his love of women). If he’s paired with Fiora or Rebecca, he instead chooses to marry after Ostia accepts command of Caelin. Sain is silly and carefree, but he’s not stupid and he knows where his loyalties lie.

    Author’s comments

    This is again written in American English even though I noticed that Vincent used British spellings in his bio; if he’s concerned about dialectal consistency I can change this piece to reflect that.

    I used ‘duo’ to refer to Sain and Kent together because ‘pair’ and ‘couple’ suggest romantic relations. I think the word ‘duo’ sounds strange though, so if anyone has any suggestions for replacing the word, or wishes to make any other corrections or alterations, feel free to change it. I’m also worried than I involved Kent too much, but I’m not sure how I could elucidate Sain’s role in the story without also similarly involving Kent. Lastly, were Caelin, Pherae, Ostia, etc., considered provinces or something else?

    Sara (FE5)

    in Completed Articles

    Posted

    I think your bio being written like a story makes it very approachable, but if you're unsure about it you could incorporate more detached descriptions about Sara (like in your summary, or the sentence "She also briefly mentions of her hatred of her grandfather"). I didn't pick up on any tense disagreements when I read it naturally. I don't think it's a problem, but I'm horrible with tenses so I don't know how objective that observation is.... Anyways, if it helps, I'll list what I personally found confusing.

    In the third paragraph of the bio, you say: "her mother died when she was younger". The 'she' presumably refers to Sara, but because 'her mother' had just been introduced it's easy to misinterpret who the pronoun should refer to. It helps that the sentence doesn't make as much sense if 'she' refers to 'her mother', but I would change the phrase to something like: "her mother died at a young age" (if you agree that the sentence requires clarification).

    I would change "Once the war is over" to "Once the war had finished", or something similar that puts the war into the past. The way it's written suggests to me what should be a projected cause and effect scenario ("Once the war is over, Sara will quietly disappear"). That may just be a dialectal difference (I was mostly educated in the northeast US), but what you wrote looks funny to me. I think other people should comment on this just in case I'm the only one who finds the phrase strange.

    "She also briefly mentions of her hatred of her grandfather," should lose the 'of'. There were some abnormally commas but nothing that interfered with reading. The 'they are' in the first sentence of the bio should technically be 'it is' because army is one entity, but no-one speaks like that.

    Again, if you're concerned about it sounding like a story you could intersperse some more information about Sara's personality. For example, you could adjust the sentence about the bishop remarking on her odd behavior so that it is a declarative statement: "It is commented in the game that Sara mumbles strange things and is quite the odd girl," or something like that (although I suppose that might invoke your concern about tenses?). I personally don't think it much matters whether you keep it story-like or change it to reflect a more detached viewpoint; it's a clear piece of writing.

    Anyone else use Backloggery?

    in General Gaming

    Posted · Edited by Wist

    Thanks for the link, this is a neat idea for a site. Unfortunately, I hadn't realized I never really beat any PS2 games despite spending so much time on the system (so many red circles on the PS2 page). I'm fifteen to twenty hours into a lot of games but rarely do I finish them.

    http://backloggery.com/main.php?user=wist

    Hanz, you rated Radiant Dawn three stars. Today you have made a very grave error and you will suffer because of it.

    Article submission

    in Story articles

    Posted · Edited by VincentASM

    I debated whether or not this should be put in this topic or the other one since I'm not necessarily claiming Sain as a topic, but you presumably are able to move it if you don't think this is the appropriate thread. Anyways, I've written a draft for a bio of Sain from FE7 (it's in American English but I can change it to reflect British spellings if you would like). I assumed that all of the game's text regarding Sain is relatively faithful to the Japanese version of the game. I'm sure it could do with some cleaning up and restructuring (I'm particularly concerned about the clarity of the second paragraph); by posting it here I concede it to any revisions anyone thinks appropriate, there's probably a lot that can be clarified. If it doesn't match what you're looking for, I can change it tomorrow or leave it to someone else (I have a lot of work to do tonight).

    I don't know whether it's too inconsistent to refer to Lyn by her various titles instead of just one name. I also don't know if I should include quotes which show his character. Again, whatever works and you find to be most appropriate. I don't mind if this isn't even used if it allows for the creation of a model of sorts to be played around with, it might help reveal things that might better be avoided versus things that should be addressed, or whether or not certain something like how Lyn's name is presented (as I mentioned above) is at all relevant.

    EDIT (2008.09.30): The support conversations I referenced were taken from GameFAQs. I hope that they are correct.

    [Removed to save space. Tell me if you need it back ~VincentASM]

    Good DS RPG/Adventure game to play?

    in General Gaming

    Posted · Edited by Wist

    How about Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure, Rondo of Swords, or Disgaea DS (I have no idea if the DS version works well or not)? If you most enjoy the puzzle solving and story-telling aspects of Phoenix Wright, you could try another visual novel like Hotel Dusk: Room 215 or Time Hollow (the latter is much easier than the former). The Etrian Odyssey series can absorb free time like a sponge if you give it the chance.

    Story articles - Stage 3.3

    in Story articles

    Posted

    I am interested in contributing, but I never know how busy I will be each week so I am unable to promise consistency in terms of times I'd be available. I am open to writing some material or reviewing material for errors in spelling and grammar, whatever works. If I write anything, I can try to mimic your style of writing if you think that would be ideal.

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