blah the Prussian

Genealogy made the right move by having its chapters feel more like campaigns than battles; the effects of this was allowing the player to actually see why each castle is so important to seize. It also has a good story. POR has the best story in all of FE and the best main villain ever; too bad RD's revisionism blamed most of Ashnard's crimes on Lekain.

How exactly do the walls work? Are they the only things that can block Takumi's attacks, or can the rubble do that too?

So, advice for the endgame on normal. Your snark is on the line here, ladies and gentlemen!

I see a mysterious creature coming towards me. Upon further investigation, it's an Espurr. It could be an enemy. Then again, it doesn't seem like it would naturally inhabit this forest; it could be a civilized Pokemon. I decide to give it the benefit of doubt. "Halt!" I yell. "Are you friend, or foe?"

The real Garon showing up for that scene would have actually been quite interesting.

So I sort of did a review for the unholy abomination of a movie that was Batman V Superman a few months back, but I suppose this is the first official review I am doing. But yeah, basically whenever I watch a movie that is out in theaters now, I will, using my highly fine tuned critical intuition, review it, give my thoughts, say if its worth seeing. So, without further ado, Hardcore Henry! If you haven't heard of Hardcore Henry, I really can't blame you. Basically, the film is supposedly (I'm too lazy to fact check) the first ever film to be shot entirely in the first person. I am happy to report that it is indeed that. Well, is that a good thing? Um... no. The tagline for the film is "The First Person experience that never ever ever ever ever ever ever stops". While I assume they mean this is a significantly more positive manner than I do, I agree with this tagline. Hardcore Henry is the most ponderous action film I have ever seen. The first person perspective, the main selling point of the film, absolutely kills it. It means that there is no variety in the action scenes whatsoever. Every action scene is either parkour (which is impressive but also only 5% of the film), Henry shooting at someone in the exact same manner, or Henry punching someone and an unrealistic amount of gore (more on that in a minute) comes out. To add to that, all the close combat action is impossible to follow. I was constantly fighting motion sickness because the camera whips around so much, which obviously doesn't make for good action. There are maybe 3 scenes in the entire movie without any form of action, if that. The action is boring. This film is boring. Maybe if the story was interesting, the film would be less boring. Well, the story is completely incoherent (my sister's Middle School play, written by HER DRAMA TEACHER, and with several characters obviously shoehorned in to give the kids roles, made more sense than this story) to the point where the film opens with the main character, who is an amnesiac(another cliche) having a flashback. Yeah. It only gets worse from there. The villain wants to, you guessed it, take over the world, there are all of three characters with major speaking parts, and the only female character in the movie that talks is present for three scenes, four if you're really generous. I'm not usually one to complain about sexism in films, but this is absurd! The protagonist is also silent, in a terrible decision that makes getting emotionally invested in the film all but impossible. Eh, I shouldn't complain too much. The story is still better than Conquest's. That brings me to the most infuriating part about this movie for me; the copious amounts of gore within it. Now, I liked Deadpool as much as the next guy. When you think of the goriness of this movie, think Deadpool multiplied by 100. The film takes pride in just how gory it manages to be in tube same juvenile manner that Adam Sandler takes pride in how many fart jokes he can cram into one of his films. That's actually quite a good analogy; gore is to action movies what fart jokes are to comedies. The overuse of gore (it is overused to an absurd degree) is meant to get a cheap thrill out of the viewer without actually having to work for it with creative choreography or stunts, just as the fart joke is meant to get a cheap laugh out of the viewer without creative writing or well thought out jokes. Here, there is so much blood and gore that it actually clouds the view of the action, which is, really obviously, a bad thing when that action is the only reason to watch the film. If you think I don't like this movie so far, well, congratulations, you have basic reading skills. I do not, however, hate everything about it. A particular character, Jimmy, is a lot of fun, as he has clones of himself that each have different personalities (punk rocker, commando, literally just Bernard Montgomery) but they provide for legitimate comedy. The villain is also occasionally a lot of fun, although other times, when he tries to be serious, he falls flat. These good things, however, are just eyes in the storm of shit (I know I used that metaphor in my Conquest react thread, shut up) of Hardcore Henry. This is an emotionless wreck of a film with no story and action that is incomprehensible when it is not boring and repetitive, and if you're lucky its both! If you ever come across clips of Jimmy on Youtube, you might want to check them out. Otherwise, steer clear of Hardcore Henry.

So I won't finish the game today because I just realized I was spending today with friends. So the RNG Godess will pay in blood tomorrow.

SK's "education" is bullshit. There is an entir eKorean expat community here in Prague who live here to avoid putting their kids through that shit. South Korea's teen suicide rate is one of the highest in the First World precisely because their education system is outright abusive.

Yeah, I remember when I lived in America, we lost so much school days through a double whammy of Hurricane Sandy and a bunch of blizzards that the school year pushed all the way through June. Those last days were hellish, and I imagine Hawaii is far hotter than New Jersey.

Are you a teacher? Just curious. You seem like you'd be a decent teacher.

Exactly my point. She could be any old mother; it would be fine if Ryoma was King, as, you know, Hoshidan inheritance laws dictate, but she's quite explicitly calling the shots. It's a problem with her character.

She should be furious with Corrin as a Queen, not a mother. Marth shakes his head in disappointment, mortified by what FE lessons on the duty of monarchs have become. I mean, how do you go from "I am a Prince before I am a son or a brother" and Elincia sacrificing Lucia to save her people, to Chrom being all "Duh, who do I save, my entire fucking country or Robin" and now Mikoto apparently not having any reaction to her COUNTRY BEING ANNEXED. The problem new FE stories have (among many) is a fundamental lack of comprehension as to what a monarch is. You could make Hoshido and Nohr rival Mafia gangs and the characters wouldn't have to change a bit. They never struggle with choices and problems a real monarch would face, and if they do more often than not they make the wrong choice and its treated as the right one! The only exception to this is Xander, but he's just so fucking stupid about it, especially in Birthright.

Hey, Hitler wasn't let in to that one! It shows their good taste.

Uh, Hoshido? What else would it be?

I am informed that I am similar to Sheldon. I have never watched Big Bang Theory. Make of that what you will. In any case, the real thing I dislike are double standards. Either it's entirely okay to make fun of all illnesses, or its bad to make fun of any of them. I don't care which you pick, so long as you don't laugh at one joke at an illnese's expense and then get enraged at another.

Basically, American universities and American public schools are not the same thing. Just whatever you do, don't study at Princeton, home of the filthy Wilsonites;).

Okay, sure, but I really wanted to say exactly how shitty the whole Mikoto isn't pissed in the slightest that Corrin basically destroyed her kingdom.

I was going to bring that up tomorrow, damn you!

Whichever son of a shiteating fuckWilson thought it would be motherfucking FUNNY to force me to go back and do Chapter 27 all FUCKING over again because FUCKING Takumi FUCKING Trump FUCKING dodged Corrin's FUCKING attack that has FUCKING 90% FUCKING accuracy is a FUCKING shit eating, dick sucking, Wilson electing, Monarchy toppling, WORM of a human being. Good god. I find it very difficult to express how furious this makes me. Newsflash, IS: we don't WANT to be forced to go back and play the same shit we just got done beating yesterday because we failed the endgame; we really don't. I DONT GIVE A FUCK if it doesn't make sense story wise for Corrin and co. to go do some DLC just before they fight Takumi Trump. I really don't give a fuck. This story doesn't make sense anyway! Now it's infecting the gameplay and it scared my adorable dog when I let out a primal yell of guttural frustration when I found out much to my great dismay that I had basically just wasted two hours of my life! My dog is a rescue dog, IS! You just terrified a poor rescue dog who didn't need any more terrifying things in her life, and all because you're a bunch of purely evil sadists who enjoy this shit. *gasp* *gasp* Okay. I'm sorry. You made a great game, you really did. I have had fun playing it. I have enjoyed it. It's just that, well, I'm not that much of a fan of the way you, in your infinite wisdom, deigned to design the endgame. I don't know if I made that sufficiently clear. But yeah, because of you, my readers won't get to see me tear apart your miserable excuse for a story until tomorrow, probably! Just... fuck. I may even make a Downfall rant about this.

I remember my first warning; I thought the Serenes Police were going to beat the shit out of me or something. Well, not really, but I thought I was actually in trouble.

Do I have to reclass in a hard run? I really hate doing it in CQ as I want a more classic FE feel.

Yeah, Camilla is OP as fuck. Arthur is fun to use too. Effie destroyed Iago in one hit, which was pretty funny after he went on that big rant. So Laslow is better than Selena? I thought using two Mercs was counterintuitive, so I used Selena.

Mediocre FE player that I am, I probably wont for a while. I found some chapters of Normal to be hard enough. I did, however, do this with no DLC or grinding whatsoever. One bad game design thing that I think is a real problem is this: near the end of the game they start giving you a bunch of new slots in the party, without giving you any new characters. This means that the slots can only be filled by underlevelled guys you weren't using, thus making the slots functionally pointless.

Its Japan's last revenge against Europe for WWII.

Hah, I was making a joke this time. At least I know I wont regret being rationally royalist.