Holy Shit

[Candlejack]

Well, I found out exactly 07 minutes, and 43 seconds ago my father was in intensive care at USC Hospital.

Now, this turned out to be a horrible twist in my recently good week- got my permit, week I preordered Mass Effect 2, but I when I found out;

I didn't do anything at first. I didn't feel anything. My father and I had an estranged relationship over my parent's nine year divorce, spending seven or eight of them hating him.

But as I saw him in a near-vegetative state, I realized that even through my insults, pre-conceived notions, and spiting...

He still cared for me. Every time I visited him, his face lit up. Now I may never see that face the same again.

During school today, I had let it reach me that he may not live to 2010. I just broke down and kind of lost it in the middle of History. Stepped out and visited my dad. But I couldn't say anything. Not a goddamn word. Because he was in a vegetative state. He could hear me, but he couldn't respond. I just stood there.

I've never been more emotionally broken in my life. I pray to God (And I'm an atheist for crying out loud) that he turns out okay, even though the chances are slim.

My sister is 13. 13 god damn it, and she can't even have her father walk with her on the wedding aisle. If this isn't a prime example of how fucked up life is, I don't know what is.

Edited December 7, 2009 by Sedgar the Hero

[PostPavilion]

This seems like something you wouldn't post. No offense.

I can somewhat sympathize (sp?), there was a similar situation involving my uncle. It probably isn't anywhere as what you are feeling though.

My condolences, I am atheist as well but I will pray for him.

[Candlejack]

If you're planning on saying shit like that with the remark "no offense" I will sure as shit take offense.

This is anger talking, but what sort of fuck would joke about that?

Anyways, I'm going to visit him tomorrow again to see if he gets any better.

[Nightmare]

This depressed me as well, even though I barely know you. Only thing I can say is...stay strong. I know it's easy for me to say, but I can't think of anything else.

Hope everything turns out alright for you. I'll be praying.

[PostPavilion]

If you're planning on saying shit like that with the remark "no offense" I will sure as shit take offense.

This is anger talking, but what sort of fuck would joke about that?

Anyways, I'm going to visit him tomorrow again to see if he gets any better.

Ok fine, I apologize and should not have said that.

Not good with these situations.

[Hero]

I actually read this post a few hours ago, and got to worrying about my own dad for a while when I saw you mention your thirteen year old sister, since I have one too and my dad's had a couple surgeries in the last month and isn't completely recovered himself. I'll pray for your dad too.

I know that advice from a stranger on a video game forum doesn't mean much, but try not to let yourself get down too much. Time is still moving, and your family will probably need you to be strong about it if they're having a rough time.

[Esau of Isaac]

Well, I found out exactly 07 minutes, and 43 seconds ago my father was in intensive care at USC Hospital.

Now, this turned out to be a horrible twist in my recently good week- got my permit, week I preordered Mass Effect 2, but I when I found out;

I didn't do anything at first. I didn't feel anything. My father and I had an estranged relationship over my parent's nine year divorce, spending seven or eight of them hating him.

But as I saw him in a near-vegetative state, I realized that even through my insults, pre-conceived notions, and spiting...

He still cared for me. Every time I visited him, his face lit up. Now I may never see that face the same again.

During school today, I had let it reach me that he may not live to 2010. I just broke down and kind of lost it in the middle of History. Stepped out and visited my dad. But I couldn't say anything. Not a goddamn word. Because he was in a vegetative state. He could hear me, but he couldn't respond. I just stood there.

I've never been more emotionally broken in my life. I pray to God (And I'm an atheist for crying out loud) that he turns out okay, even though the chances are slim.

My sister is 13. 13 god damn it, and she can't even have her father walk with her on the wedding aisle. If this isn't a prime example of how fucked up life is, I don't know what is.

I am sorry to hear of your father's misfortune, and your own current predicament. My situation was much the same as yours (parents divorced when young, father difficulties), however my father came out living well. I do hope that your situation goes well, but I think I should at least mention that no matter whether your father comes out miraculously or dies before you are prepared, that he probably understands and loves you, and would feel similarly were you in this predicament. Everyone always remembers those seemingly insignificant moments of those they love, and hold on to them tightly when they're gone. It's how many cope with the understanding that they'll never be able to see or speak with them again.

I don't really know what to recommend, since everyone reacts to suffering and loss differently, but I think you should keep in mind that you're alive, and that even if your father dies you can still make a difference to others.

[Junkhead]

I tell you, this tragedy makes me cry. I wonder why this happens with many, MANY people in the word...some don't appreciate one of their dear ones, then something terrible happens to that dear person.

I am not saying this may exactly be your case, but I do feel sorry for you, I'm telling you...it is something really hard. I really wish your father could go through this.

[Pride]

I can't give you any advice as a friend, or even as an acquaintance but, I've been in a similar situation, and all I can say is don't give up.

On yourself, or your father.

[Candlejack]

The doctors just got five liters of fluid out of my father's lungs.

We're not sure if he's going to make it through the week. I've been emotionally distant, but I suppose its different for everyone going through the process.

I've also found out he has alcoholism, so he drank himself to death. Knowing this, I don't know whether I could confront him or not. At the very least, I can tell him I loved him, despite whatever hatreds I held towards him.

... Losing a grandparent is one thing... but a father, at 55...

If God exists then he's one sick bastard. I don't even pray to him anymore, since dad's survival rate is low enough as it is.

[Rehab]

Serenes is probably the last source of emotional stability you need right now. I don't mean that with an ounce of derision. You got a counselor? Or does your school have one, which it should? Or is it safe to assume you're surrounded by professionals already?

[Candlejack]

Serenes is probably the last source of emotional stability you need right now. I don't mean that with an ounce of derision. You got a counselor? Or does your school have one, which it should? Or is it safe to assume you're surrounded by professionals already?

Meh, just felt like saying it somewhere other than my head.

Imagine having a single thought that just bothers you until you get it out in the open.

[Raven]

I have lost two people in my family so far: My Cousin 8 years ago, who was 4 months old, and my Great-Grandfather 3 years ago, who was 87.

My Great-Grandfather was basically my father figure, I was closer to him than any other of my family members. But for years even before his death, I realised: He's old... He's going to die on me. And when it finally became evident that he was ill; losing weight and strength to even dress himself, nothing could be done. He was sent to hospital on the 13th December, where he died on the 15th, funeral was on the 19th, I think. My Grandparents wouldn't even let me see him in hospital because there was "no point"... I love them and all, but the fact they stopped me seeing him on his death bed... I won't forgive them for that, even when they are on their own. But... He was 87 - a good age to reach that not many people see, he was even driving up until the May before he died. That's how fast his health deteriorated.

I'm mentioning this because he was like a father to me, despite his age, and I feel I can sympathise with you. Your father is still young, nobody should go at his age. No matter what the chances are of him pulling through, just hold on to hope, since even preparing yourself for the worst will do no good, even if the worst does happen. I found that out myself with my Great-Grandfather as his health deteriorated. I visited him less, tried to not get so involved with him, hoping that the pain I will feel when he dies will not be so intense by doing so. It doesn't work like that.

So just try to stay strong, for yourself and everyone else who will need the support if the worst does happen. Just hope that it won't.

[Loki Laufeyson]

Im terribly sorry to hear that. I couldnt imagine losing my father. The very thought makes me ill.

Good luck and godspeed!

[Rehab]

Serenes is probably the last source of emotional stability you need right now. I don't mean that with an ounce of derision. You got a counselor? Or does your school have one, which it should? Or is it safe to assume you're surrounded by professionals already?

Meh, just felt like saying it somewhere other than my head.

Imagine having a single thought that just bothers you until you get it out in the open.

Not going for a put down, I get you. Seriously though, do you have anybody who's equipped to do it helping you out right now?

[Candlejack]

There are people. Maybe I'm just yearning for unnecessary attention.

[Raven]

It seems to me you just want to be understood in this situation, which is... understandable. I did the same three years ago for my Great-Grandfather on the forum I mained back then.

[Phoenix Wright]

My father passed when I was nine. I'll tell you now: it fucking sucks to lose your dad (that's obvious, though). He was only thirty-nine.

Just remember to stay strong, Sedgar. I never saw my dad in the hospital until after the incident (the day after), so I don't know what it's like to see a parent in a vegetated state. I feel for you, man.

Don't listen to anyone saying you need a therapist, either. You'll know yourself if you can't handle it. I really don't care where you let your grief out, as long as it's out instead of it being "bottled up" inside.

I know I'm saying the same shit, but: stay strong. You're gonna need to be as emotionally stable as possible.

Edited December 10, 2009 by Santa Snake

[lolDeath]

If God exists then he's one sick bastard. I don't even pray to him anymore, since dad's survival rate is low enough as it is.

BAM

Sorry about your old man.

[Lux Aeterna]

Things like this happen. That doesn't make it any less devastating, though.

I can't honestly say I know what you're going through, but the possibility that you might lose one of the people who you have to thank for your existence... It's mind-numbing.

But don't stay there in silence. He can hear you; tell him everything you want him to know. This could be your final chance to thank him for everything he's given up for you. You don't want to regret this for the rest of your life, those words you never said to him before he dies.

There is also the chance he'll survive, of course. But you can never be too careful.

EDIT: Hope he pulls through. But I can only hope.

Edited December 11, 2009 by Lux Aeterna

[Seph]

I agree with Lux. You have to let him know everything. Ignorance should never be encouraged.

Do it as a last favor.. you two might have been distant, but the fact that his face lit up when he saw you means that he cares deeply for you.

This makes me even more depressed.

[Raven]

I'm curious on how the current situation is.

[Candlejack]

Oh... yeah.

He's dead. Died about two hours ago. I'm surprised I'm even on here right now. Maybe I just don't care anymore- I've gotten it out of the way since I was around fourteen; I knew he was going to die young, but not this young.

Funeral is on Friday.

[Shamanx21]

I'm new here and I don't know you but still...you have my condolences.

[Raven]

Oh... yeah.

He's dead. Died about two hours ago. I'm surprised I'm even on here right now. Maybe I just don't care anymore- I've gotten it out of the way since I was around fourteen; I knew he was going to die young, but not this young.

Funeral is on Friday.

I see, sorry to hear about that. Getting buried on Christmas Day is a bit harsh on everyone affected in my opinion, but whatever. Giving him a good sendoff is the last good thing you can do for him.