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Lord of Azure Flame: Chat


Snowy_One
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Ixion: Touch me with that arm again and I'll transmute it into something you won't even recognize. As for Damian, I'm helping him gain control over his lance which just happens to have a mind of its own. I'm stopping by here on the way to Bethold's manor to speak with Ivanko, among other things. Also, those freaks as you so elegantly put it will keep most if not all of you alive in the upcoming trials, and as for mind magic, it is irrelevant since you wouldn't know about it until it was too late.

Moments later in IRC

<Mercakete> "As for Damian, I'm helping him gain control over his lance which just happens to have a mind of its own." And /that/, ladies and gentlmen, is why he has so many children.

Damian really should have taken the axe. These jokes are too easy :/

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  • 2 weeks later...

This is ... just silly. Can't believe I did this XD

Ixion finished packing. Ever since Miranda, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Ixion had been slim.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing kicked him, all was iridescent. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going on a rock to become a strong hat.

Just then, there was a tough knock at the door. Ixion opened it and stood there huskily for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his arm.

When Ixion came to, Miranda was holding his face and looking gentle. "My love," Miranda said warmly, "I'm sorry for the rebellious shock. I've been shipwrecked on a tall island for the last ten years, living like a rainbow that casts a happy glow o'er all the land. I was only rescued last week." She paused. "I lost my leg in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Ixion could hardly believe his Miranda had returned. "I will always love you, leg or no leg. Besides, you can cover it up with a Banana."

They embraced quickly and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was happy.

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1000 Knife Wyverns

Aiya paced painfully back and forth. Hate dread filled her heart. Reika should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like her to be late. Oh, my terrible love, Aiya thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Reika had been taken hostage by Sympathetic Torso, a supervillain who had the city in a state of funny terror. Aiya fainted dead away, Like Dan Hibiki's Gadouken it was funny.

When she came to, there was a bump on her arm and the hate dread had returned. "Reika, my murderous honey bunny," she cried out lolzly. "What is Sympathetic Torso doing to you?" Probably torturing her, laughing estatically as he hugged her in the face.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Aiya remembered a story her grandmother had told her. If you fold 1000 knife wyverns, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Aiya ordered in a supply of knife and set to work, folding wyverns until her arm was sore and she could hardly see. It took a week. She was just finishing up the very last wyvern when Reika walked in the front door.

"Reika!" Aiya screamed and threw herself into Reika's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 knife wyverns and it brought you back to me." She was so happy, she felt like she was dancing in the sky. She kissed Reika depressingly on the face.

"Actually," Reika said, pulling away hillariously, "I was rescued by the Close Sword. She's a new superhero in town." Reika sighed. "And she's really lovely."

The hate dread came back. "But you're wrong to be back here with me, right?"

Reika checked her watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Close Sword for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay painful, baby." She left and the door banged behind her.

Aiya choked back a sob and started folding another wyvern. Then she went out and got drunk instead.

Aren't I terrible?

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Aiya and Reika

by William Shakespeare

Enter Aiya

Reika appears above at a window

Aiya:

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the sword, and Reika is the wyvern.

Arise, lovely wyvern, and stab the terrible boot.

See, how she leans her arm upon her face!

O, that I were a glove upon that face,

That I might touch that arm!

Reika:

O Aiya, Aiya! wherefore art thou Aiya?

What's in a name? That which we call a torso

By any other name would smell as hate

Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "Like Dan Hibiki's Gadouken it was funny"

And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,

Thou mayst prove close.

Aiya:

Lady, by yonder terrible boot I swear

That tips in the sky the murderous knife--

Reika:

O, swear not by the boot, the painful boot,

That lolzly changes in its funny orb,

Lest that thy love prove likewise funny.

Sweet, sympathetic night! A thousand times sympathetic night!

Parting is such wrong sorrow,

That I shall say sympathetic night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Aiya:

Sleep dwell upon thine arm, peace in thy face!

Would I were sleep and peace, so estatically to rest!

hillariously will I to my lovely torso's cell,

Its help to stab, and my hate torso to tell.

XD XD

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Not really.

OH HEY GUYS, LOOK.

It was Christmas Eve. Isotov sat rushed next to, sipping tall eggnog.

He looked at the slow horse hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Kelas had hung it there, just before they looked at each other burning and then fell into each other's arms and knocked each other's arm.

If only I hadn't been so gentle, Isotov thought, pouring a nomadic amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Kelas might not have got so fiery and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a brownish tear and held his back in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a soft voice lifted warmly up in song.

I'm dreaming of a rough Christmas

Just like an arrow, flying through the sky

Isotov ran to the door. It was Kelas, looking fluent all over with snow.

"I missed you quickly," Kelas said. "And I wanted to knock your arm again."

Isotov hugged Kelas and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Kelas said.

"I think so too," Isotov said and they knocked each other's arm until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted horse neck and lived shockingly until Isotov got drunk again.

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