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The Awful Jokes and Puns Thread


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Throughout my many years of browsing and being disgusted by the internet, I have discovered many things. Namely, there are jokes that are so bad, they're good. Kind of like Plan 9, or really any of Ed Wood's movies. Try to put at least one joke (or at least something funny) in your post. Without any further ado, I'll start us off.

What do you call a mechanical Metroid?

A Mach-troid!

How do you kill a circus act?

Go for the juggler!

Why did Noah build the ark?

Because news of the flood was leaked!

What did the golem say to the man who was about to die?

I'll granite you one last request!

Eating plenty of fruit can help you live to a ripe old age!

Rocky's a pretty smart guy. He always comes up with the most igneous plans!

Those who forget the pasta are doomed to re-heat it.

That's all I can think of for now.

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Throughout my many years of browsing and being disgusted by the internet, I have discovered many things. Namely, there are jokes that are so bad, they're good. Kind of like Plan 9, or really any of Ed Wood's movies. Try to put at least one joke (or at least something funny) in your post. Without any further ado, I'll start us off.

Why did Noah build the ark?

Because news of the flood was leaked!

What did the golem say to the man who was about to die?

I'll granite you one last request!

Rocky's a pretty smart guy. He always comes up with the most igneous plans!

Those who forget the pasta are doomed to re-heat it.

What do you call a lying frog?

An Am-fib-ian.

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The first is a reference to Noah's Ark. He built a ship to put animals in in pairs of two, both male and female, and put them on a ship because there was going to be a flood. and leaked because of 'news leaks' when news is out before it should be and because of water leaks.

And granite because Golems are made out of rock I assume.

Amfibian is the scientific name for frogs and fib means to lie.

These puns make me want to slam a head into a wall. ;_;

Edited by Pamela
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*Waits for ERL*

I don't know if I should feel flattered or offended...

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

What do you call miner that was crushed by a piano?

A-Flat minor

You know what I think about bovine actors?

They should be scene and not herd.

A baby seal walks into a club...

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The first is a reference to Noah's Ark. He built a ship to put animals in in pairs of two, both male and female, and put them on a ship because there was going to be a flood. and leaked because of 'news leaks' when news is out before it should be and because of water leaks.

And granite because Golems are made out of rock I assume.

Amfibian is the scientific name for frogs and fib means to lie.

These puns make me want to slam a head into a wall. ;_;

its never fun when it has to be explained i know

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Time for some music jokes. These are all from my orchestra conductor, except for the last one.

What do you call 1,000 basses at the bottom of the sea?

A good start.

What's the difference between a viola and a trampoline?

You take your shoes off when you jump on a trampoline.

How do you make two cellists play together?

Shoot one.

EDIT: Oh, go here for awesome puns: (coolsig). I'm too lazy to post all hundred and some jokes/quotes here.

Edited by Ragnell
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its never fun when it has to be explained i know

But you just said- you know what, never mind. This is why I never bother to be informative.

Amphibian is the name, actually, and replacing the "ph" with "f" is what creates the pun.

/fail

I forgot to put the 'ph' there since I was thinking about the joke. ;A;

biggrin.gif

Nothing to be proud of. >:C

Edited by Pamela
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But you just said- you know what, never mind. This is why I never bother to be informative.

I know :P thanks anyway :D

Edited by SlayerX
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