Zanarkin Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Person 1: Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park? Person 2: No, what happened? Person 1: The kid woke up. I don't quite remember the joke ;_; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau of Isaac Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Dead baby joke below, not for the easily offended. What's worse than a barrel full of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. >_> the title said Awful Jokes It's not even internally consistent. The proper joke is: What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? One dead baby in ten barrels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anouleth Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 It's not even internally consistent. The proper joke is: What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? One dead baby in ten barrels. Actually, that joke is supposed to start off with 'what's worse than ten dead babies in a barrel?' And how is it not internally consistent? It brings up something disgusting and then takes it one step further with an even more disgusting but similiar possibility. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau of Isaac Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Actually, that joke is supposed to start off with 'what's worse than ten dead babies in a barrel?' Yeah, but that one doesn't make sense, really. Because ten dead babies are obviously worse than one dead baby, even if the one dead baby is dismembered. It's only consistent and more entertaining when it follows the joke "What's better than a dead baby in a trash can? Ten dead babies in a trash can." The two are then meant to be said together, fairly quickly. And how is it not internally consistent? It brings up something disgusting and then takes it one step further with an even more disgusting but similiar possibility. Because it doesn't make any sense at all. Who cares if the bottom baby is alive? That doesn't accompany the nastiness of dead babies in a barrel, it's not even disgusting. The purpose of dead baby jokes is to be purposely gross and offensive. Like, "What's the difference between a truck of bowling balls and a truck of dead babies? One of them can't be unloaded with a pitchfork" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Avocado Posted August 17, 2010 Author Share Posted August 17, 2010 So, I just missed my flight. In order to commemorate this momentous occasion, I've decided to steal tell some airplane anecdotes. Occasionally, airline flight attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: "As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position." "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 6 ways out of this airplane..." "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments." "We do feature a smoking section on this flight; if you must smoke, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the airplane." "Smoking in the lavatories is prohibited. Any person caught smoking in the lavatories will be asked to leave the plane immediately." "Running in the aisles is also prohibited. Anyone who does so will be forced to work here in our place." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anouleth Posted August 17, 2010 Share Posted August 17, 2010 Yeah, but that one doesn't make sense, really. Because ten dead babies are obviously worse than one dead baby, even if the one dead baby is dismembered. I know, but um, willing suspension of disbelief? It's only consistent and more entertaining when it follows the joke "What's better than a dead baby in a trash can? Ten dead babies in a trash can." The two are then meant to be said together, fairly quickly. Except that joke isn't funny, it's just 'what's worse than X? X multiplied by TEN!' Because it doesn't make any sense at all. Who cares if the bottom baby is alive? That doesn't accompany the nastiness of dead babies in a barrel, it's not even disgusting. The purpose of dead baby jokes is to be purposely gross and offensive. Like, "What's the difference between a truck of bowling balls and a truck of dead babies? One of them can't be unloaded with a pitchfork" Because if the bottom baby is alive, it's going to be suffocated to death by a load of dead babies - which is a horrible way to die for a baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James Bond Posted August 19, 2010 Share Posted August 19, 2010 This thread made my (birth)day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Avocado Posted August 22, 2010 Author Share Posted August 22, 2010 This thread made my (birth)day Glad to be of service! Here's some birthday-related humor: My birth certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals! Why did the birthday girl bring toilet paper to her party? She was a party pooper! What do you say to a boomerang on its birthday? Many happy returns! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esau of Isaac Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 Except that joke isn't funny, it's just 'what's worse than X? X multiplied by TEN!' That's the point. They're supposed to be lame. That's why they're dead baby jokes. They're funny because of the outrageousness of the delivery and subject matter, not the material itself. Because if the bottom baby is alive, it's going to be suffocated to death by a load of dead babies - which is a horrible way to die for a baby. But that's not gross in the slightest. It's just somewhat sobering. It doesn't even suggest that the bottom baby is going to be suffocated. Just that it's alive at the bottom. It's confusing, and doesn't make it clear enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peener weener Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 It's a baby buried alive in a pile of other dead babies in a barrel. Of course it is fucking disgusting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zanarkin Posted August 22, 2010 Share Posted August 22, 2010 You guyskilled this topic. Someone post more puns please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Death' Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Why did the booger cross the road? because he was being picked on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peener weener Posted August 23, 2010 Share Posted August 23, 2010 Why did the door-to-door seller get fired? Because he was wearing a charcoat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secret Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 I don't really remember this one well. Why did the fisherman kill his competition? For the halibut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BEST TRYNDAMERE PLAYER Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 This thread Get it? Get it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babbies Posted August 24, 2010 Share Posted August 24, 2010 Shinon walked into a bar. Shinon woke up in rehab Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergeant Avocado Posted August 27, 2010 Author Share Posted August 27, 2010 A doberman pincer is telling his puppy a bedtime story. The story goes "Once upon a Time. The End." The puppy says "Daddy, why such a short tale?" A small shrub clinging to the walls of the Grand Canyon is a Gorge Bush. Old golfers don't get mad - they just get a little teed off. I asked a factory worker, "Why do you have such a large peak on your cap?" He said, "That's my supervisor!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikethfc Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 (edited) A Mexican and an American fireman are arguing over which hose is the most effective. The American says Hose B but the Mexican says: No way Hose A Why did the Mexican shoot his wife? Tequila EDIT: [spoiler=My friend's response] I thought it was because of Hispanic Edited August 27, 2010 by mikethfc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psych Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 I like one from Animal Crossing. >_> "I caught a sea bass! See? BASS! (Why do I keep saying things like that?)" You know..... Waldorf: Hey, some of these puns aren't half bad! Statler: I know. They're ALL bad. Both: Do-ho-ho-ho-hoh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikethfc Posted August 27, 2010 Share Posted August 27, 2010 A: My wife went on holiday to the West Indies B: Jamaica A: Nah, she went of her own accord [spoiler=Some of its many bastard children] A: My wife went to a bad concert in South-East Asia B: Singapore A: The band wasn't much better A: My wife went on holiday to Italy B: Genoa? I should think so we've been married for 20 odd years now A:My wife went on a kayking course in South-West England B:In Dorset? A: Yes, she'd recommend it to anybody A:My wife nearly choked on some spicy food in South America. B:Chile? *shot* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zanarkin Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 (edited) How do you call a high mexican? Highway Edited August 28, 2010 by SlayerX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikethfc Posted September 12, 2010 Share Posted September 12, 2010 This quiz is worth semi-reviving this thread I felt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Alear Posted September 12, 2010 Share Posted September 12, 2010 (edited) This quiz is worth semi-reviving this thread I felt. There are 69 comments for that game. EDIT-I got 9 right. Edited September 12, 2010 by SeverIan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darros Posted September 12, 2010 Share Posted September 12, 2010 This thread is "punny." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darros Posted September 12, 2010 Share Posted September 12, 2010 I also got nine on that sporcles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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