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Surprise FE7 play log due to me waking up after a 6 hour nap.


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I was feeling tired so I decided to lie down on my bed. With my blanket over me. In a sleeping position. So I feel asleep. For 6 hours. Now here I am not asleep watching The Daily with Jon Stewart rerun which by the way is fucking awesome as is The Colbert Report.

Any who...


Why FE7? Because LOL FE8 and Shadow Dragon is fucking boring and I can't help but think of Seth being Lumi's boy toy now. DAMN YOU LUMI! I'd rather play FE9 but my younger brother is asleep since it's freakin 1:43 AM at the moment and I don't want to bother him. Also I get to bitch about stuff and you guys in general if I feel like it.

So grab my DS and my FE7 cartridge which I bought when it was released thanks to Smash Bros. Melee. HA! In your face everyone else who got into the FE series not in 2003! You jack rabbits you.

Wait. What?

Uh... So now I turn on my DS and... The hell? "DS Option Pak inserted"?


Now! On to EVERYONE'S favorite part in FE7! LYN'S MODE! The most exciting and plot important part of game! Only it's not and everyone and their pasaran fucking hates it for whatever reason. Seriously. You guys suck sometimes.

Oh yeah. I gotta name the all important Tactician.

Let's see...

Name: Ein

Birth Month: August, Dark Affinity

Gender: Male

Alright! Let's have a go at it!


Ein wakes up in some chicks house. Turns out her name is Lyn and she seems to have a green fetish. Seriously. Green hair, green eyes AND a green outfit? Bleh. Lyn's pretty damn meh anyway so who cares about her other than Lyn fanboys who feel I've insulted in some fashion.


Lyn asks Ein for assistance for some reason... Honestly this makes no sense but okay.

But seriously this is the prologue. Once you start it you pretty much win.

Oh wait. I forgot about BATTA THE BEAST! Well he's dead now and Lyn didn't get hit once.

First level up...

+ HP, STR, SKL, and Luck

Not bad.


And since some peeps gets MASSIVE boners on turn counts I beat the prologue in 9 turns. Beat that!

Chapter 1

Kent and Sain show up and IMMEDIATELY start hitting on Lyn. What the hell man. What the hell. Lyn's 15 and Kent and Sain are probably in their mid twenties or something. Sick bastards... Any who. More bandits show up and Lyn feels like training a bit but those horn dogs decide to help Lyn in hopes of getting in bed with her. AT THE SAME TIME! Why won't they leave her alone?! WHATEVER! I could use their help. Sain's help at least. Kent's not gonna be used in the long run because he sucks~ Well he doesn't. He's actually pretty good but holy hell is he boring as fuck. I still like the guy because he's pretty damn awesome and I'm not filled with hatred for everything like most people amazingly enough.

Uh... I have Kent trade his Iron Sword and Vulneraryryry to Sain and he runs off. Lyn and Sain own face as they approach the boss bandit.

Sain gains a level and I already forgot what he gained as I'm typing this as I play. Goddamn my memory sucks. I think he gained HP, STR, and Luck or something. Probably. It's 2 AM damn it! Leave me alone!

Well now just the boss bandit is left. Sain gets attacked by the boss bandit and Lyn owns his face by shoving her sword down his throat. Yes I'm typing that on purpose you sick fucks.

Lyn gains a level. ONLY LUCK!? Damn you Arceus! What did I do to deserve this?! GAAAH!

Uh... Chapter 1 end and I forgot to look at my turn count before ending the level. Eh whatever. It must have been the best turn count ever though since I'M playing.

Now to Chapter 2.

Wait. I thought you get Florina in Chapter 2. You get her in Chapter 3?! Do I find Chapter 2 that forgetful despite getting Lyn's Mani Katti after beating it that forgetful that I automatically assume It's Chapter 3 after beating Chapter 1?! Then again this is Lyn's mode and no one likes Lyn's mode but that's probably just you guys since I tend to enjoy it you ungrateful pricks.

Where was I? Oh yeah. Chapter 2! Glass the mighty has taken over... some place. Are you a bad enough dude to save that old man?! Why am I asking you guys? I'm the one playing and typing this out so I obviously am a bad enough dude to do what it is I said I would be doing and I'm losing my train of thought or whatever that expression I'm referring to. Yes.

This thing would be so much better if you could hear my voice. I should do Let's Plays at some point. Yes.

Okay. Chapter 2. It's chapter 2 and you have Lyn, Sain, and Kent. You pretty much got this unless you screw up horribly or Arceus decides to be a huge Mara. Teehee Mara. It's appearance is based solely on a pun. Oh Japan... You so crazy. If aren't getting it. Mara looks like a penis. Yes.

OKAY. So Chapter 2. Not too hard. I have Sain go on a forest tile and the three bandits outside the place decide to go suicidal.

Sain levels up and gains STR and DEF. You can get some SPD any time now Sain...


Any who...

Sain breaks open the wall with his mighty lance. Teehee...

Lyn takes care of the last two bandits.

Lyn gains a level and some HP, STR, SPD, and Luck. Nice.

Sain breaks the Glass. That's seven years bad luck for Sain... Or is that with mirrors? Eh, still works somehow.

Sain gains a level. STR only... Ugh... You can gain SPD anytime now Sain!!

I complete Chapter 2 in 11 turns. Fuck yeah...

Mani Katti get and I'll be stingy with that fucking sword like nobodies business.

Chapter 3

Kent and Sain are still following Lyn around. They say she's the true heir to some place or something but I still think they are trying to bed a 15 year old. Weirdos...

The trio ends up in some village being attacked by bandits and Lyn's childhood friend Florina is being harassed by said bandits. Now to kick some bandit ass. Again.

Oh Florina... I just freakin love her. She's just so damn adorable and looks like a 17 year old despite being only 8 years old. Wait what?

I feel like I'm running out of funny stuff to type or something. Oh wells.

I pretty much have Florina kill every enemy in this chapter because it really isn't all that hard to raise her. Anyone who says otherwise is just a big baby and holy shit did Sain just OHKO that Merc? I think he did. Damn it. I should have had him equip the Iron Sword... He stole Florina's kill!

I have Kent purchase an Iron Sword and Lance. I forget if I usually buy that Lance or not but I did.

Anyone else find it hilarious how Florina tries to apologize or something to the boss bandit? I find it even more amusing just skipping the dialogue after she says "Um... Excuse me..." and then she kills the dude. Don't mess with Florina. She may act all sweet, shy, innocent, adorable, and cute but she'll fucking stab you.

I'm just getting horrible level ups left and right... And I forgot to look at the turn count again. Oh wells. You all can find solace in I'm playing and that the turn count is always glorious.

With the bandits dead the new party and Ein talk amongst each other as Kent, Sain, and Wil start hitting on Florina. Good thing Ein's there to kick their ass for being prudes. Yes.

And that's it for now. Hope you guys are enjoying this.

Will Ein actually finish a play log for once? Or will he abandon it like he has with previous play logs after he realized he got bored with them and the fact that his writing skills are fucking terrible and can't really make anything interesting? Maybe. Let's find out!

Edited by Demi-Fiend
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Says the guy who likes loli's...


Use Serra.



Btw, use Rebecca.

in before RFoF says "Use Priscilla"

Always. And maybe Priscilla. I dunno.

And because you three posted that means you guys are interested in this and because you guys are interested in this I have to continue this. D :

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And because you three posted that means you guys are interested in this and because you guys are interested in this I have to continue this. D :


Use Nino

Also, expected/10

You're asking me of all people to use Nino? Oh you...

Kai clearly underestimates your weakness to loli girls.

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And because you three posted that means you guys are interested in this and because you guys are interested in this I have to continue this. D :

What are friends for?

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Due to popular demand... Let us return to this thing by me giving you guys some info on my units current level and stats. Yes.

Lyn the Meh who has a bigger green fetish than Emerald

LV 4.56

STR - 6

SKL - 8

SPD - 10

Luck - 8

DEF - 2

RES - Ahriman, the God of the Void or in other words that isn't a Nocturne reference, zero

Sain the Insane who also happens to love the ladies as much as I do. Kinda. Maybe. What am I talking about again?

LV 4.61

STR - 11

SKL - 4

SPD - 6

Luck - 4

DEF - 8

RES - :KnollRoll:

Kent the Boring who's still pretty damn awesome in that he's a seriousface or something like that. Yes.

Base Level

The Most Adorable Pegasus Knight Ever!

LV 3.63

STR - 5

SKL - 8

SPD - 9

Luck - 8

DEF - 4

RES - 5

Wil Williams the Willington

Base Level

Chapter 4

Ein the all-important Tactician, Lyn, Florina and co are traveling about and some junk when they come across some dilapidated building. They decide to stay there since it beats camping out in the woods or something I wasn't paying attention. Some woman is there and she can't walk very well or something I wasn't paying attention.

Suddenly... BANDITS! HOW IS THIS SURPRISING? Yes bandits once again. Guess they mad we were killing their buddies or something like that.

What I basically do this chapter is have Kent the Boring and Sain the Insane wall the lower part of the building while Wil Williams the Willington takes out the bandits on the left WITH INTENSE MALICE! Probably. I dunno. Lyn obviously tries to dodge Dorcas the Family Man who's trying to get money for sick wife by killing his wife's initial attack BUT FAILS AS USUAL! Any who... Dorcas you gotta... Er... You gotta work on not being an idiot.

Lyn recruits Gazelle and lays low as Gazelle takes out a bandit as Lyn heals up to not die while taking some more bandits and the boss bandit.

Blargh... Boring chapter is boring.

Yeah. I usually have Florina take on the Mercs that appear at the North East area since she can usually 2HKO them if I recall correctly. I'll find out again soon.

...YES! Florina can 2HKO the Mercs that appear in the North East area with the Iron Lance. Even more proof that Florina is amazing~

More stuff happens. Kent almost dies. Sain is Insane. Wil tries to help. Gazelle kinda just exists. Florina is amazing. I screw up so I can't kill the boss bandit with Lyn the Meh. Level completed under 8 turns. Yayifications and all that jazz.

Edited by Demi-Fiend
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But but. Steels.

I suppose I'll back ESR, since steel lances on a GBA peg is like robbing a police station - it's just never a good idea.

Edited by Metal King Slime
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On to EVERYONE'S favorite part in FE7! LYN'S MODE! The most exciting and plot important part of game! Only it's not and everyone and their pasaran fucking hates it for whatever reason. Seriously. You guys suck sometimes.

We suck for hating on such an easy and repetitive part of the game. Right.

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