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Let's Do It! XCOM: ENEMY UNKNOWN


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Double-post update and this'll be all for today.

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WE RESPOND OF COURSE

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uhm

please go away

please

;~;

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It's like, you know, what are you going to do when they bunch up like that? It's fate, man.

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KILLFUCK SOULSHITTER HAS NO FEAR

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oh christ

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Turns out zombies hit really hard.

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KILLFUCK SOULSHITTER HAS NO FEAR

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KILLFUCK SOULSHITTER HAS NO FEAR

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oh come on two of them?

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For some reason civilians keep dying spontaneously of poison.

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all my hate

except for the hate I put into mutons

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please go away

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oh good thing you were suppressing it doga

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Also, the second Cyberdisc killed Sir Teabag. Later, mate.

EDIT: Oh yeah: NEW ABILITIES! Slamlord's rockets have a bigger radius. Doga takes reduced damage from non-flanking attacks. Ein can now suppress.

Edited by Mr. Sparkles
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[spoiler=omgggggggggggg,p2]xcom120023.jpg

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It's a landed UFO, so I figure we can bring some rookies. It's actually worthwhile to spread XP around a little bit.

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why won't my skitarii just die

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just look at his fucking stupid face

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NEW ABILITIES! Ein's smoke grenades now have drugs in them. Xin Li now gets extra defense per enemy in sight. Skitarii can now flush enemies out of cover.

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Figures.

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DOOOOGA ICH HAVE EIN PRESENT FOR YOU~~~

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woooooo

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Always fucking Mutons.

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The Wutz still has it.

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I...

Words cannot convey the power of this weapon. A picture cannot convey its sound and fire. It is ...literally perfect.

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The natural conclusion to roleplaying a soldier who had literally no fear of anything, I suppose.

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Traditionally, running up to Furetchen without previously having murdered him tends to end poorly. Ether gets to help this time, though.

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this is a fucking big ufo

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what

what the fuck is that

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Ether's first kill is a panic kill. Nice.

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excuse me sir but have you heard the good news

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Ether!

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The thing I hate less than the other things I hate about Mutons but that I still hate is that they have grenades and they are fiendish about using them.

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My entire - fucking - team besides Ether panicked from that grenade. Including the Wutz.

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um hi

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NEW ABILITIES! Furetchen gains bonus health depending on what armor he has equipped. The first reaction shot made against RhinoBoron each turn misses. The Wutz gains full cover bonuses from partial cover.

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Now, we start ...this mission. This mission will have more words, as I explain what happened.

FIRST GO:

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There is a Cyberdisc. Jose Ironcock kills it, moves forward, reveals five Mutons

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and dies.

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A Cyberdisc SPAWNS AMONG MY MEN after flipping out a little bit.

I reload.

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The Cyberdisc spawns CLOSE to my men, flips out, and after Lightning shoots at it (or its drones, can't remember)

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it teleports.

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The red Mutons are called Berzerkers. Every time you shoot one, it charges forward a little. I cleverly use the Wutz's Disabling Shot to disable its weapons.

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It does not care and climbs on Balcerzak and punches him in the fucking head until he almost dies.

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Stun, stabilize, smoke, and mop up stray Mutons.

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NEW ABILITIES!

...wait, nevermind. :|

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Researching the living Berzerker gave us armor research credits. Researching the dead Berzerker gave us DRUGS

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I like how your one unit who got named so far accomplished literally nothing and then was killed by friendly fire.

I HAD PAGES OF PLOT TYPED SIR.

LITERAL SHEAFS OF PAPER. OR SHEAVES. I HAVE NEVER CONTEMPLATED THE USE OF THAT WORD IN THE PLURAL. IN ANY EVENT I AM THOROUGHLY DISCONCERTED AS CAN BE SEEN BY MY USE OF SOLELY CAPITAL LETTERS IN MY WORRIED RESPONSE.

Edited by Esau of Isaac
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So... I been playing thi.. ss.. maybe a lil too muUuchgadlsl

Honestly, Chryssalids were almost disappointing. Their zombies didn't turn into Chryssalids!

(note: this is a very good thing)

I'm afraid they do

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It just takes.. a while.

(My first terror missions went god-awfully)

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I was too busy with work but finally saw all the rest of the updates.

Skitariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I know. I suck.

Also Sniper Rifles have major accuracy penalties at close range, hence the reason Balzy missed.

This LP is awesome. Also, fuck Mutons and the advanced Mutons and cyberdiscs and -censored-

And damn, Killfuck Soulshitter died like he lived. WITHOUT FEAR.

Am I the only one who thinks the soundtrack sounds like Mass Effect? I also hear a hint of Tiberium Twilight, but then again Tim Wynn did some of the songs.

Just as a heads up so the LP isn't ruined, SHIVs are currently bugged. Use them once and then when you go back to base they "break" in a glitch.

Edited by skitarii
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Just as a heads up so the LP isn't ruined, SHIVs are currently bugged. Use them once and then when you go back to base they "break" in a glitch.

Oi, shit, cool spot man. Thanks.

If she does die and you want to replace me somehow just go down the numbers. IN GERMAN.

Zwei 'Golden' Tulip

Drei 'Burgundy' Hibiscus

Vier 'Bronzed' Tiger Lily

EDIT:

Also Sniper Rifles have major accuracy penalties at close range, hence the reason Balzy missed

Yeah, I know. His displayed was like 60%.

Edited by Mr. Sparkles
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Please click both relevant links at the relevant times to enhance today's XCOM update.

[spoiler=omggggggggggggg]So, ECKSCAWM, it's been a tough road, but we've finally located a major base of alien operations. There's one interesting thing about it, though.

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It's five fucking minutes away. I'm not even shitting you, we got in the Skyranger at 12:51 (I didn't launch the assault then so the Wutz could be ready) and landed at the base at 12:56.

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Every member of this team is here for a reason. Wutz, Furet, Doga, they're obvious. Strider? Yeah. Ether is there because Balcerzak is still in rehab and I wanted a second Sniper. Boron is there because I wanted an Assault to carry the stun gun and ...well, the alternative was Skitarii.

In the process of finding the base, we have made new gear. Strider still has his Light Plasma Rifle (conferring, incidentally, a +10 bonus to Aim) while Boron is carrying the full model. The Wutz has a Plasma Sniper Rifle - or, as I prefer to find it, a fucking railgun. Ether, Furet, and the Wutz are wearing a new prototype of armor - Skeleton Suits. Skeleton Suits confer a bonus to Defense, a bonus to move speed and also they mount a fucking grappling hook.

Furetchen is literally Batman now.

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Berzerkers make every mission fun. I really like them, no sarcasm.

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Ether shot it in the back to finish it and it did a frontflip right over Boron and Strider, then rolled down a ramp. I love physics.

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I put Doga and Furetchen moving up the other flank. Naturally, that flank meets with no resistance.

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The Wutz's gun is sexy as hell and holy God is it accurate.

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Even Mutons have difficulties withstanding our barrage of plasma. They might be able to kill us, yes, but we can kill them right back now.

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We've done it. 100% to hit on a shot that isn't point-blank Fureshotgun.

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Things get extremely awkward on the left flank.

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oh god please go away please please go away

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ok fine i will make you go away

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Sometimes the smartest move is to just consolidate behind the best cover you can and have everybody turn Overwatch on.

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It works.

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OH NO

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Boron crit 1hkod it with a 70%.

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Overwatch. Also, Blockovich is now a COLONEL and the highest rank attainable.

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Well THAT'S an interesting room.

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Always Cyberdiscs.

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The good news is, if an enemy takes their free move on the alien phase, they will never get to shoot it seems.

The funny news is, that Cyberdisc took its move to move right next to my dudes. All of them.

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it's just

look at it

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Mutons!

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sir would you like this free miniature new testament

listening to the words of our lord now can save your soul a lot of trouble in the future

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oh ~you~

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Boron just unlocked Psionics.

NEW ABILITIES! Doga can now fire two rawkets per mission. Strider can now carry TWO UTILITY ITEMS. Boron can now flush enemies out of cover; I'm speccing her like a Skitarii with a Will save.

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Apparently when we were done with the Commander we killed him. XCOM, ladies and gentlemen.

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After actually reading this "alloy cannons" bullshit, I realize that it is in fact the plans for a FLAK CANNON for Furetchen.

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Wait, you're not where I thought you were.

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FURETCHENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

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GAHAHAHA OF COURSE YOU WOULD PUT IN SENGOKU RANCE MUSIC GAHAHAHA

OKay, yu can always try out Shiv if you have extra resources, there's a chance they won't be bugged but they usually glitch out pretty often. Still, they're pretty fucking useful.

PSIONICS. NOW YOU CAN MINDRAPE. And you made the alien base look so easy....you are a god.

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Psionics (and more specifically, the people who wield them) are fucking hilarious, by the way. The game tells you to test soldiers who have unusually high will, as they're the most likely candidates to have the gift. Makes sense, right? Haha WRONG

I was lucky enough to get the first person I ever tested come back positive. He actually made sense, as he was an assault with the highest will on my team, 60-something. I put the entire rest of my team through testing without getting a single one, until I got to my best (depending on your point of view, fully-maxed right side upgrade tree) sniper, who just happened to have the worst will stat on my team, a relatively abysmal 38. She had had this problem for a long fucking time, too- the game saw fit to name her "Emo."

She came back positive. :|

She is now laughing it up malevolently every time she makes some poor Muton's brain convulse itself into tortured, mushy oblivion. She has a relatively low hit rate of ~70% on that attack, but damn is she happy about it nevertheless.

F3AR TH3 QU13T 0N3S

Edited by Rehab
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y'all gotta have ya updates

[spoiler=omgggggggggggggg]xcom140001.jpg

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Stuff. GEOSCAPE stuff, you guys don't care. It's boring.

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Augustine gets the honor of being our scout.

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This started and ended up a very boom boom mission.

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REACTIONARIES

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This truck exploded on the Wutz just now. My only explanation is that the reaction fire at Luka must have missed and hit it.

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christ you guys are bad

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...

goodbye, Augustine. We barely knew ye.

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Doga is literally the most baller grenadier possible.

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I gave Augustine some smoke because - hey, may as well give the kid a fighting chance.

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The Wutz in Overwatch mode is hilarious.

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escort mission = all the spawns

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Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, rawket for plasma.

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very boom boom

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Have I made my point?

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might

MIGHT not have?

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douch-

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ahahaha oh my god

the wutz panicked, shot him, killed him, ended the mission, and promoted to colonel

NEW ABILITIES! When the Wutz kills an enemy who he is flanking or who is uncovered, the action does not cost a turn. Augustine and Ironcock are both Heavies now with RAWKETS.

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let's go

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jesus christ hello

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He earned it.

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WHY DO YOU MAKE ME SAY GOOD THINGS ABOUT YOU AND THEN SUCK

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Why do Cyberdiscs ALSO get to have grenades?

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Redeemed.

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GRAPPLING HOOK actually has a whole lot of places it can take you.

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Cool laser shot, Manhands.

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NEW ABILITIES! Targets Ironcock is shooting at are now more vulnerable to his squadmates' fire. Furetchen is now immune to critical hits.

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Also that mission gave us a recruit and I'm out of female names. She will live as her predecessor.

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10 days apiece, wounded soldiers can't enter. Let's kill 10 days!

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Found it pretty quick.

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New enemy get! Armored Floaters are Floaters with 3x the HP. :|

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always cyberdiscs

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CANADIAN MIGHT

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uhhhh

fuck that's two psionics

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...

so while monica and lightning were heroically killing commanders, the wutz almost killed doga and did kill ether

fuck you man

fuck you

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And I fire a rocket at two Mutons and soft freeze.

:|

I'm going to declare this mission non-canon and thereby revive Ether and this time stun one of the Armored Floaters.

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