Pokemon Crystal Tag Team

[Jedi]

Horace you are HERO, you caught TAUROS.. with a LURE BALL

[Ema Skye]

why didn't you give this to teddiursa

You can buy more Headbutt TMs in Goldenrod's store.

[Komeiji Koishi]

Horace you are HERO, you caught TAUROS.. with a LURE BALL

Horace isn't a hero! He's clearly a General!

[Jedi]

Ok lets see what I can do

[spoiler=Bug Contest and Chuck]

Lets See what Horace left me with

Interesting.

I had a feeling you missed these Horace.

Jump Back to the Bug Contest Hall

SWEET

Of course I would! Who wouldn't?

[i used Tauros instead of the sweet scent lolol]

We met many strong foes.. And caught a randomly high level Paras because.. Um... well.. I HAVE NO CLUE

OMG PINSIR, TATA PARAS

Maybe you can find some use of this? I doubt it

BEST NAME

Sorry Macho your benched for now due to your high level

I grabbed this while I was here, figured our Pinsir could use it

Now lets go the RIGHT WAY [er I mean left]

YURI SUBTEXT

This guy are sick.

oh and he tells us to go train at the lighthouse to move ONE STEP CLOSER TO GENERAL

LAVENDER TOWN FLASHBACKS I MUST RUN

We train pokemon everywhere dude.. I mean in this world you could probably find trainers training at a SALON or a BAR

Remember these holes, they are helpful

If only I could use Instant Transmission..

SURFING TAUROS.. Your argument is invalid

Fall from above and you get here, and fight this dude

IS IT GREAT?

Jasmine here says that the lighthouse pokemon is sick and that in Cianwood there is a place that has a cure for it, She obviously can't go there because she is caring for the pokemon.. Its our job

In short, get medicine. Come back [which is not my job to do]

so go left from the lighthouse and surf down

ISLAND BLOCKED BY WHIRLPOOLS? Surely this won't come up again

10 GREATBALLS you PUNK

After avoiding masses of Tentacools I arrive

Now to go save the lighthouse pokemon right?

WRONG

SUICUNE

I'm beginning to think this guy is related to that "one" person in Vermillion city

FUCK YEA SEAKING

Yes I win, now gimme your lunch money.. I hear someone named Dew needs it

ONWARD TO THE GYM

Are you related to Ieyasu Tokugawa?

[also he had a Hitmonlee and Chan which both kinda hurt]

Oops

Easiest Puzzle Ever

Dude not cool, what did that statue do to you?

Now Chuck has Primeape and Poilwrath his key tactic with Primeape is... FOCUS ENERGY, then multiple hit attacks with Poilwrath he tends to go Hypno then DYNAMIC PUNCH

Not so bad.

Then Bayleaf came out and got HYPNO'D THEN DYNAMIC PUNCHED TWICE... PINSIR FINISHED HIS JOB TOO

Dynamic Punch and FLY get

UP TO YOU DARROS

[Darros]

Now that I've finally gotten my saves to work...

Progress!

...you'll probably be waiting a few more days. But it's in progress now.

[Darros]

This was kind of fun I guess, but I still wanted to do the fighting gym.

So I'm on that island place, surfing back I encounter this like 293750293509283 times.

I have important things to do, like tasks from my peers!

Er... this is on task.

He will be the strongest!

I also caught Bellsprout.

Trust me, you'll be disappointed. Vine Whip only has 10 PP!

Why the fuck do we not have a flyer guys. I thought you people liked HORSEBIRDs.

And now, Ruins Of Alph! Being on task is for the weak!

Masterpiece.

Though apparently that's not what they wanted. Heh.

It must be a GHOST!!!!!

GHOST!!!!!

Pocket Ball Go! The GHOST!!!!! gets sucked in, offering very little resistance.

GHOST!!!!!

After completing another puzzle this happens.

How many GHOST!!!!!s are there....

I caught a Wooper. It's utterly crazy.

Good enough, for I have caught...

LASEREYES

I am now the saviour of this playthrough.

It's ANTHONY

...you know what? Close enough.

This is what happens when Haar is level 40 coming out of daycare.

You Ursaring it up

THWOMP doesn't hold back. Also this guy has a Nidoking. Pro.

I got robbed.

Horace is best ever.

I win.

Actually, I'm Darros. yo.

I was offended that you keep calling me Lucina. We aren't alts you know.

A great distraction this is.

Jedi sucks for stealing fighting gym. So I killed him.

This is BanHammer. He is pro.

I'll pass yo.

Yeah except like all ice types are water ice so no.

I respect your AUTHORITAY.

Holy crap you're short.

TACTICAL PROWESS

Later peasants.

[MacLovin]

Get a Heracross.

Or a Swinub!

[Xinnidy]

I WAS SUPPOSED TO UPDATE THIS FOREVER AGO WASN'T I

WHOOPS.

[spoiler=I HATE IRONLAND - part 1]

Here we pick up from where Darros left in Maho-

Wait what.

Uh...

I'm pretty sure

I said I wanted Mahogany.

:c

Fine we go for JASMINE.

But since it's such a short section I have to find ideas on how to fill this with CONTENT.

First to get me a brand new pokemon.

You can go drop for our freshly caught companion:

MARIA the Poliwag!

She'll grow up to become a respectable Fighter!Maria soon, yup yup.

Also learns MOVE I WILL PROBABLY NEVER USE IN CASUAL.

Spoiler: She forgets it later.

POWER UP!

Now that I'm done grinding you for a bit it's free time for procastination and SHOPPING~

*skips boring part for you guys*

I dislike how I tend to run into walls.

I blame turbo button

BUY PUNCHES.

One of them is relevant to a non-maria team member btw.

REDUNDANCY ATTACK GET.

Mostly for giggles before she evolves.

Also this guys learns Harden by level up on his lv20s,

SURE WHY NOT.

I went here to grab some stuff and to grind better afterwards.

WHO WANTS A FLAREON.

J/k didn't even use our eevee

Not ANTHONY 10/10

Also HOLLACE evolves!

Then I realize IRONLAND sea is like much better to grind so I decide to go there.

Also I remember why I love the bag system in the newer games now.

THEN WE GRIND.

AND WE HEAL.

AND WE GRIND SOME MORE.

Yes I have no problem grinding when I'm bored out of my mind.

I barely do it nowadays though because gosh darn it takes time.

But I'll make an exception because TEAM BUILDING.

UH OH OUT OF PP WHAT DO

LEECH LIFE PRO BUG MOVE SHALL NEVER FORGET.

MANTINE LEARNS BOTH FLY AND SURF ACCORDING TO POKESPE.

CATCH EET.

Because was pretty annoying to catch.

Also may or may not reference one of my better champs in LoL.

BECOME MASTER FERRY.

WHAT.

POKESPE LIES.

GO TO BENCH.

DO NOT PASS GO.

DO NOT COLLECT 200 POKEDOLLARS.

NOW WE WAIT FOR FRIDAY.

*Pime Taradox*

YAY.

Let's pretend I didn't miss 3 fridays in a row and made this longer than it should be.

(also changing the internal clock won't affect crystal for some reason, I blame the .sav moving between so many PCs Shin)

NOW TO PURSUE LAPRAS.

FOR GREAT WHIRL ISLAND ACCESS.

SO DARK.

NEED FLASH SLAVE.

*back to IRONLAND*

YOU SHALL SUFFICE.

YAY NOT DARK.

I like Ice-Types so I'll catch him because wynaut.

DART huehuehue

*cue me forgetting to use the guy after this*

My it's been forever.

This place confooses me.

Ok I think we're close to Lapras now.

Not Lapras.

Um.

OH RIGHT LAPRAS ISN'T IN WHIRL ISLANDS DERP.

SET SAIL, DOGA.

FOR WE SHALL KEEP OUR SEARCH FOR LAPRAS.

To be continued...?

See you guys again in like a bit.

[Jedi]

Yes its totally Shin's fault you missed 3 fridays and YAY the return of Gravbeetle! Great update Xinn :D

[Darros]

Here we pick up from where Darros left in Maho-

Wait what.

Uh...

I'm pretty sure

I said I wanted Mahogany.

:c

Fine we go for JASMINE.

Well I said I wanted Cianwood but I didn't get that so.

Also YES HORACE

Also YES THIS ISNT DEAD

Edited December 3, 2012 by Dallas

[Xinnidy]

HERE COMES YOUR PART 2 WITH A SIDE DISH OF NO SENSE OF DIRECTION.

REJOYCE. (or not)

[spoiler="I HATE IRONLAND - part 2]

DEAD END.

LET'S LOOK IN THE RUINS.

I also realize people didn't solve those.

IT'S UP TO ME THEN.

This here says escape so use your escape robe obvs.

THEN WE GET TREASURE.

Most of which doesn't matter that much.

Also POKERUNES.

The writing on the floor is too big for a screenshot but it says.

"OUR WORDS SHALL REMAIN IN HERE FOR THE AGES"

This one says LIGHT.

So we use our FLASH SLAVE EGG.

I knew he'd come in handy

It has all sorts of MOONRUNES inscribed.

They mention Waifus and Swordmasters.

"THUS WE SHALL ERECT A POKEMON STATUE OUTSIDE"

Then I actually to explore the ruins more and realize that

Lapras isn't here.

My tag team pals tell me it's on the Union Cave.

I AM DOOFUS.

JUST LIKE LUCINA.

TO THE UNION CAVE.

WAIT.

NOT UNION CAVE.

GO BACK.

OK.

THIS MUST BE RIGHT PLACE.

...right?

YES.

SURF FOR GREAT JUSTICE.

Fun fact: I haven't actually met Lapras in Union Cave before, I've never backtracked here, even in HG/SS.

I guess that sort of explains my amazing sense of direction.

DOPPELGANGER.

CATCH NOW.

Actually took a few tries but WORTH IT.

I forgot who suggested the name.

Was either Lucina or Boron.

Also OTHER SIDE OF ALPH.

HO-OH.

CANNOT DO THIS ONE YET.

:c

But aha.

WATER.

Not fresh water, we need to bring a water stone.

Luckily for me the fisherman that gives you some called me a while later.

*a whole BACKTRACK later*

YAY.

More treasure and:

"THEY POSSESS GREAT INSIGHT AND REFUSE THE OUTSIDE WORLD"

Yay now we can go grind for a bit before challenging JASMINE.

Also:

Expected/10

A GOOD GRINDING LATER:

Warrior!Maria to kick butt and take names!

I enjoy overgrinding.

No I actually don't.

TO THE JASMINATOR.

Oh gosh darnit.

Screw you guys sometimes.

TO THE TOWER.

Which was actually all completed by now Jedi and Darros just needed to talk to Jasmine again but noooooo.

>.<;;

HERE YOU GO JASMINE.

YAY NOW WE CONTINUE THE SEQUENCE.

Can you warpskip me out of this tower too pls.

*a whole towerskip later*

NOT STEEL TYPE.

I decide it's time to show the rock-types some love.

THE HITMAN OF PEWTER WILL BE PROUD.

BEGONE FOULD BEAST.

Uh oh.

HE DID HIS BEST.

KEPT MISSING SUBMISSION.

BUT WAS WORTH IT IN THE END.

SURFING DOGA FINISHER.

MINERALBADGE GET.

And just as I leave the gym:

SURPRISING TWIST AGAISNT THE PRESS.

NOT TEAM ROCKET.

DUN DUN.

But my quest is over for now.

It is up to the next doofus to find the truth behind all of this!

To be continued...?

And with this I bid you guys adieu for now.

[Jedi]

THE MIGHTY LAPIS..

Also YES DOGA SURF.. ALMOST AS GOOD AS DOGA FIRE

[Trivialgent]

Hey, just so you know, Pokespe didn't really lie. It's just that Gold tied a pair of Remoraid Crys caught to his own Mantine so he could use it as a hanglider-jetpack hybrid.

[Refa]

So I just noticed this save file and figured I might as well do my part so I can complain at someone else.

[spoiler=WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN Part 1]

Those sure are some interesting box names. Especially Box 8, truly the stuff of originality.

Oh right, I'm supposed to stop TEAM RAWKIT. Who do I have on me again?

I GOT THIS

Dammit, you'd think after Team Rocket took over, they'd at least offer some nice tours so they could gloat about their success.

...At least they have the catchy theme down.

NO TIME TO TALK LET'S BATTLE

JERK. I was the one who declared the battle.

This is a little too even for my own good.

OUCH THAT REALLY HURT

All's well that ends well, right? Or almost dead anyways, close enough. Plus I've got a whole stash of FRESH WATERs and LEMONADEs for such an occasion. No dice on the COKE though.

I bet it's PASSWORD.

She was just mad that I guessed it on my first try, so she changed it.

I'm bored.

Don't worry, I will. Who are you again?

Defeated by a 10 year old. Been there, done that.

I like how the first guy on the first floor was harder than everyone on the second floor combined.

(it's funny because this guy's team was spamming Harden, obviously trying too hard)

Wow, who plays Pokemon for this long? You guys are worse than Twitch!

Broadcasting their sweet theme song over the radio waves?

Eh, close enough. Sweet theme songs have the power to control Pokemon, or so I hear.

Ouch, I regret complaining about previous incompetency earlier. This guy is also a jerk. Also I wish Flareon had Guts in Generation 2.

I wonder how Antidotes taste...

Dude, learn to read. My Trainer ID is like, right on my-what am I even wearing-person somewhere I'm sure.

You'd never think one of the problems of a Fire type Pokemon would be dealing with Steel type Pokemon, but here we are.

It's a good thing he sucks (not as much as you might be led to believe by this picture though, that was after 2 Shadowballs...of DOOM).

I was running out of PP, sue me.

I think I made a wrong turn somewhere. Why is this city so big, dammit.

How embarrassing.

OK, two more floors till the director. I CAN DO THIS PROBABLY MAYBE I HOPE.

If I said no, would you let me go without a fight?

Oooooh, a Polygon. It's funny because this dude's name is SCIENTIST RICH, because he'd have to be RICH to afford one of these amirite?

Bite, huh? Eh...it's not worth it.

I think this is the 5th floor, but I've learned not to trust my directional sense over the years. I've also learnt not to trust my counting skills either.

Oh, OK, so I was right! Go me.

Prepare to be rescued!

...bitch.

Y-yes, until the Team Rocket theme started with a fresh new loop at the precise moment that you said that.

You know, there was a poster in Celadon City that wasn't a REAL poster either. I'm a real poster though, I'm posting this update right now!

Liking the purple hair. Still not as cool as my blue hair, though. Or Lucina's. Am I Lucina? Makes you think, doesn't it?

Already off to a wondrefal start. This cannot go any better.

I hate this game. Iron Tail, stop sucking already.

The next time someone says third time's the charm, I'm kicking their shins.

By the way, he did use Smokescreen once, but it failed. So this is my amazing luck at work here, not the result of any status modifier.

FINALLY

NO

This is literally the worst, I hate this guy so much (also that wasn't even an Iron Tail, it was a Shadow Ball).

Why do you keep on doing this to me? ;_;

It's time to break out the X Attacks. If I'm going to hit once in every ten attacks, it better be a OHKO. I ended up using 3, for reference.

BOOM HEADSHOT (although considering Koffing is basically one giant head, I guess that's not particularly impressive, is it?)

Oh snap! Speaking of guns, looks like he's decided to bring out the big ones himself.

It's OK Reifa, he had two heads, so it only follows that you'd need two headshots to kill him.

Nothing says fun like going into the basement. Except this time instead of the monster being down there, it's in my pants. Er, on my pants. In my Poke Balls...OK, I'll just stop now.

[Refa]

[spoiler=WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN Part 2]

Donut break.

Oh great, it's Irwin.

You're not my sidekick. You never even follow me, how could you possibly be my sidekick? I'll grant you that you do always make me look better whenever you're near me, though.

WOW I NEVER WOULD'VE GUESSED

I would've given a snarky reply, but I don't really know exactly who Team Rocket is either. I think they're trying to take over the world? Maybe? I mean in the first game, they were the Pokemon Mafia, so maybe they're just trying to get rich. Although honestly getting rich in a world where it's socially acceptable to mug people you beat in a fight doesn't sound all that hard...

I don't.

I pity the fool who has to give REIFA a haircut.

BACK ATTACK

I'm glad he gave me the right key, I was not about to go walk back up five floors. I don't even need the exercise, I swear!

You're not a legally certified lawyer, ergo you are not entitled to say that!

I get that a lot. Lucina is a stalker magnet.

I am also a winning magnet.

Good, because you owe me $5,000. Don't try to jam out of it this time either!

Oh no, bro! I just noticed that my rival is the most beautiful man to ever walk across this Arceus created realm.

Despite his magnificence, I still hate him so...

So first I was confused no more and I was all like SUCK ON THAT, PUNK and then this happened. Why?

Seriously, this is ridiculous. Can I just hit already? Meh, going back to spamming X Attacks and X Speeds BRB.

Fuck you.

I've only got one second chance while Kenya holds the fort. Better make it count. Good thing I only used 1 X Speed, or I'd be sorely tempted to reset.

3 X Attacks and 2 X Speeds later, please don't fail me...

Ragequit.

OK, take 2. Don't be a cunt this time, Ardan. Also I used an X-Speed at the beginning because fuck-

WHAT DID I JUST GET FINISHED TELLING YOU

Finally, the worst is behind me. I hope.

Get gamed, chump.

Well, fuck you too.

Curse is a pain to deal with, so I revive Kenya and switch to him so I don't have to suffer through that kind of crap.

Getting rid of this accuracy penalty is just a small bonus on the side.

While I was X-Speeding, this happened again. The amount of rage I feel towards this douchewhistle is...a really big number.

And then he spams it again. Just to make me suffer...

HA SUCKS TO SUCK DOESN'T IT

This chump right here, this guy is what Iron Tail was made for. Now to pray that it actually hits...

FIRST TRY AW YEAH THAT MAKES UP FOR EVERYTHING EVER

Effective enough.

...bitch.

You don't even have a rock Pokemon on your team, hardly what I'd call the toughest Pokemon out there.

Coffee break.

Well, I don't care if you don't care if I'm lost!

1 Lucina 0 Team Rocket Grunt

I never professed to being a tactical mastermind or even having a basic understanding of how Pokemon types work, OK?

3 2 1

Sounds like a model citizen. I should get his autograph.

All in all, probably not the best pick up line I've ever heard.

Just a few minutes ago, some grunt was making fun of me FOR being lost. Which one is it?

One of these days, I'll learn...

I loathe Confuse Ray. So very much.

Seriously, it's the worst.

Even though Confuse Ray is the worst, flinch hax are pretty damn close. I haven't gotten an attack in like 10 rounds, fuck this guy.

DIE AND STAY DEAD

Edited March 4, 2014 by Refa

[Refa]

[spoiler=WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN Part 3]

Nothing screams QUALITY ATTACK quite like Fire Spin, eh? Well, I could use a change of pace, I suppose. And a STAB attack would be nice. I'll replace Headbutt even though it's like 50x better.

NICE TRY

...bitch.

Yeah, yeah, just give me the other key so I can go save the day. AGAIN.

I love the Amulet Coin. Especially in Gen VI where they give it to you super early. This is getting glued on to REIFA.

Rice ball break.

Magic. If you can't explain it, then the answer is always magic. And that's how I aced my math final (the equivalent of magic on a multiple choice test is C, BTW).

Wow, Fire Spin actually killed something. It's a not Christmas miracle!

Jackass. Why do they always do that?

His only Pokemon is Golbat. I instinctively hate his guts. Let's X-Speed things up to avoid flinch hax. Sadly there are no Bitter Berries for the inevitable Confuse Ray. ;_;

There are only so many ways and so many times one can say FUCK CONFUSE RAY before it gets old, but dammit this is not that time FUCK CONFUSE RAY.

As if there wasn't enough bull shit going on in this fight as it was...

Good riddance.

Is that a trick question?

Dammit, even Fire Spin keeps on missing. It was a bad move to replace Headbutt with this load of, but at least I can buy another Headbutt TM and undo this error. I definitely won't forget to do that. No siree. Not me, I'm a rememberer.

Nope, I didn't play that segment. Told the same thing to that hyuck guy too (who wasn't worthy of a screenshot, which is saying something considering what I think to be screenshot worthy).

A gajillion down, one more to go. I'm finally almost done!

Me too.

Nope. I'm just an illusion. Fear me!

That doesn't look "not very effective..." to me...

Hey, that's not fair! Stop trying to look competent, that's my shtick.

Get wrecked.

I just realized that there were no Team Rocket Executives in Gen 1. Giovanni was probably like "All you motherfuckers are just Grunts compared to me, deal with it. Also you're all male."

You can say that again. Defeated by a 10 year old, how embarrassing.

Cool bell, bro.

Get robbed.

Get thanked.

Get thanked again. All of the ladies love Lucina. And she loves all of them.

I'd rather have a Green Card...

Of course, I have one last place to go before ending this update.

Fuckdammitletmetrythatagain.

Or not. Hi Miniskirt Dana.

I never would've guessed.

Oh joy.

Good for you.

She said something about failing to catch a wild Ratticate, but I stopped paying attention so I don't remember what it was.

OK, if noone else is going to interrupt me, it's time to try that flying thing again.

SUCCESS

Actually, I might need more balls. And I never thought I'd be saying that!

Much better!

Dammit, wrong tower.

Why must you jerks waste my time?

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE AND HE IS I (EXTRA TEXT TO MAKE THE STRIKETHROUGH MORE OBVIOUS) REIFA.

I win again as usual obviously who would've thought otherwise?

Ha, Jolteon ain't no thang compared to REIFA.

FINE GEEZ

This...could be a problem.

Just kidding!

The other two were such cowards.

LET'S DO THIS

[Refa]

[spoiler=WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN Part 4]

Fuck you.

I hate this git already.

Hahahahaha, he's spamming Rain Dance.

Whatever will I do?

JERK

Surprisingly didn't KO.

I hate Suicune. He's the worst.

That took a lot of savestates.

Yeah, I'm done with this. Save done below for whoever's next.

EDIT Or not below. Haha, I got you good!

Edited March 4, 2014 by Refa

[Xinnidy]

jesus refa

I don't even remember whose turn it is rip

[Ice Sage]

best necropost refa

suicune is a jerk