Freohr Datia Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 Look behind! like a paranoid person =o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Alear Posted February 15, 2013 Share Posted February 15, 2013 (edited) 5. Look behind! like a paranoid person =o I thought that was just skittish/nervous.......or second guessing/unsure. Confused. Edited February 15, 2013 by Mouse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted February 15, 2013 Author Share Posted February 15, 2013 Look behind! like a paranoid person =o 5. I thought that was just skittish/nervous.......or second guessing/unsure. Confused. You suddenly feel an unshakable feeling of despair and pain creeping up your back. What on earth?! You turn your head and gaze upon the fiery maw of a terrible SEAGULL. "CAWWWWW!" It's call shakes the very foundation of the universe. Your body quivers and you nearly lose balance. Thankfully, you're a Gary-Stu so you recover quickly. It's call still floats around in your ear. The seagull beats its wings and suddenly you are transported into a battlefield. "INSIGNIFICANT MORTAL, I WISH TO DUEL WITH YOU. UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS NOT UNUSUAL FOR MY KIND TO ENGAGE IN BLOODY DUELS WITH HUMANS." The seagull flaps its wings-- this is a sign of dominance. "I SENSE YOU LACK POWER, MORTAL. I FEEL MERCIFUL THIS DAY, SO I SHALL GRANT YOU A SPECIFIC SKILL SET IN WHICH TO DUEL WITH ME. CHOOSE CAREFULLY, MORTAL. CAAAAAWWWWWWWW!!!!" 1. Wizard -- Fuck yeah, Magic! You've got a crazy gifted mind and can fling shit like Fireballs and Icebolts from a long distance. However, you wear robes and those things will make you considerably less manly and really sucky at taking hits. 2. Thief -- You're so dark and edgy that you cut people just by looking at them! Well, no, not really, but you CAN open locked doors, chests, etc. You can also steal from stupid idiots and hide in the dark as well as a black guy! 3. Warrior -- The manliest class of them all. You're a big, hunky guy that carries a huge axe! You may not be able to take magical hits well, but damn are you STRONG AS HELL. 4. Alchemist -- You're a creepy psuedo-wizard with a fetish for liquids. This doesn't bode well with others, but who cares? You can craft potions and poisons that do CRAZY STUFF! 5. Shapeshifter -- You're an incredibly gay shapeshifter! You can shift your shape into anything, really. A rock, a piece of gum, a babetastic lady, a crazy handsome guy, an old dude, a shaggy hag, Austin Powers... the possibilities are endless! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shin Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 Shapeshifting time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted February 16, 2013 Author Share Posted February 16, 2013 Shapeshifting time! "...MEDIOCRE CHOICE, MORTAL. NOTHING YOU COULD EVER TRANSFORM INTO CAN HARM ME IN ANY WAY. NO MATTER, I SHALL HAVE FUN PICKING OUT YOUR BRAINS WITH MY BEAK. EN GARDE, MORTAL!" HP: This creature draws power from the very center of the universe. It has limitless amounts of vigor. MP: You cannot comprehend the infinite power of this creature, for its power comes from the center of the universe itself. "BEHOLD MY GODLY MIGHT!" The seagull flaps its wings and creates a powerful gust of wind. You are buffeted by dust, several cheesecakes, and a cow. Luckily, you're not incapacitated. Your turn! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shin Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 Our suave hero cries: "You're one funky seagull... but can you handle the power of apricot jam?" With a pelvic thrust, all that the seagull can see is a half opened jar of apricot jam. How will he handle it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted February 16, 2013 Author Share Posted February 16, 2013 Our suave hero cries: "You're one funky seagull... but can you handle the power of apricot jam?" With a pelvic thrust, all that the seagull can see is a half opened jar of apricot jam. How will he handle it? "I HAVE BEEN THROUGH MANY PLANES OF EXISTENCE AND PAST MANY GALAXIES, BUT NEVER HAVE SEEN I SUCH A CONFECTION. ...I AM IMPRESSED, MORTAL. HOWEVER, I CANNOT BE BESTED. ADMIT DEFEAT, OR YOU SHALL INCUR MY WRATH. CAWWWWWWW!!!" The Seagull's cry causes the apricot jam to vanish. You notice a faint twitch in his eye. It seems as though the jam had some sort of effect on the Seagull. "I GROW IMPATIENT." The Seagull lifts its wings and summons a black hole. It begins to slowly consume the surrounding area. "YOU CANNOT BEST MY POWERFUL BLACK HOLE. ITS GAPING MAW SHALL CONSUME YOU." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunwoo Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 "Oh yeah? We'll see about that! Folgore Ranger powers -- transform!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 I thought that was just skittish/nervous.......or second guessing/unsure. Confused. Hmmmmmm I guess it could be called paranoia if somebody did something wrong and think somebody's following them. But I think it could also be called paranoia if somebody is always thinking like "omg the world's out to get me some random assassin is gonna come kill me or some random stalker is gonna come stalk meeeeeeeee" or something like that =3 So they always watch their back~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Alear Posted February 16, 2013 Share Posted February 16, 2013 Strategic suggestion: force the seagull to regurgitate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 "Oh yeah? We'll see about that! Folgore Ranger powers -- transform!" You take on the form of a humongous draconic creature! The seagull sneers at you. He can smell the mighty regality oozing from your very presence... "THAT CREATURE... WHAT A FORMIDABLE OPPONENT. I GUESS THIS BATTLE WON'T BE AS EASY AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE." The seagull prepares a battle dance. "EN GARDE, MORTAL!" The seagull smites you with a fiery, burning breath of salt water. The burning will gradually drain your health. Better take down the seagull quickly! (Your move.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunwoo Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 "You wanna play that way? Fine! Let's boogie!" *starts playing "Hey Hey Let's Dance all Day"* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 "You wanna play that way? Fine! Let's boogie!" *starts playing "Hey Hey Let's Dance all Day"* "DISGUSTING NOISES! THEY DISPLEASE ME GREATLY." the seagull prepares a spell to rid the music from his dimension. Attack while he's distracted! (Your move.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunwoo Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Pull out a hammer from nowhere and bonk it over the head with it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esme Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 (edited) Pull out a hammer from nowhere and bonk it over the head with it! You transform your right hand into a manly STEEL HAMMER. While the seagull prepares its spell, you whack its forehead with the STEEL HAMMER. The seagull, startled by the blow, turns into a frightening red. You seem to have incurred its godly wrath. "ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SILLY PARLOR TRICKS. PREPARE TO BE... ERASED FROM EXISTENCE!!!" The seagull opens up a portal and hops in. Instinctually, you hop in right after he does. Suddenly, you're in a giant classroom with a chalkboard in the distance and several horribly ugly children in seats that are organized in four by four rows. For some reason, a chalk-drawing of you and the seagull is on the board. "WITH THIS ERASER I SHALL WIPE AWAY EVERY TRACE OF YOUR EXISTENCE. SAY YOUR PRAYERS, MORTAL. YOUR END IS NIGH!" The seagull starts erasing the picture of you. Slowly, your body parts begin to fade. Oh god, is there any hope for you?! ...Maybe, but only if you're cunning enough to stop the seagull! (Your move.) Edited February 17, 2013 by Esme Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Um... point and say "omg look a yummy fish" then steal the eraser while he's distracted, erase the seagull then redraw self with a super buff body? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack of the Dead Posted February 18, 2013 Share Posted February 18, 2013 ESME, GET YOUR ASS BACK IN HERE AND FINISH THIS THING! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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