Support Convo Contest: Live 3 or Die Hard!

[SilverHairedFreak25]

What's this? SilverHairedFreak25 writing more than one entry? What is this madness?

Canon x OC support: Delswin x Anna

Delswin is a business-savvy thief from Elibe who steals weapons and sells them off at high prices. He may be loyal to his clients, but cant help swindling a few extra gold pieces from them, especially from Hector. Used to run a shop with Merlinus.

Anna, the Random Number Goddess herself! Although, I will be using the Trickster from Awakening despite the fact that I've never played it.

WARNING: REFRENCES ABOUND!

[spoiler=C support]

Delswin: Hmm. I seem to have gotten lost yet again... Hey! You there!

Anna: Hm?

Delswin: Do you know where I am? It appears I have lost my way.

Anna: Well, this is the city of Ylisstol.

Delswin: No, no, no! What continent are we on?

Anna: Why, Ylisse of course! ...You're not from around here, are you? Who are you?

Delswin: Th' name's Delswin! I'm what you might call an arms dealer! And thanks to this here Warp Sword, I'm expanding my business accross the world! Hell, maybe even accross multiple worlds!

Anna: Oh! A fellow merchant? Mind if I take a look at your wares?

Delswin: Be my guest!

Anna: Ooh! This one looks like it'll sell for a high price!

Delswin: Ah, you have good taste! This right here is the one and only Ag Ventus!

Anna: If I dont mind asking, what's so special about it?

Delswin: Basically this is what happens when you fuse a Wind Sword with a Wo Dao! Unfortunately, all my previous customers haven't been able to use this blasted thing.

???: DELSWIN!!!

Delswin: Oh, I gotta go! See ya!

*Delswin flees*

Silver: GET BACK HERE!!!

*Silver rushes after Delswin*

Anna: ...What a strange fellow!

[spoiler=B support]

Anna: Oh! Delswin! Youre back!

Delswin: I never intend to leave a potential purchase unresolved! Money is very important, after all!

Anna: If you dont have it, your weapons will rust!

Both: And you can't fight without your weapons!

Delswin: Someone else who knows the teachings of the Money Man?

Anna: I never met him myself, but one of my many sisters did! Rules to live by, you know!

Delswin: I hear that! Unfortunately, that guy that was chasing me took his Ag Ventus back. I'm sorry. Would you care to look at my other weapons?

Anna: Ooh! This looks interesting!

Delswin: This is a magic sword from the country of Aukemia! It's a lightning sword called the Kris!

Anna: How much?

Delswin: 5,000.

Anna: 5,000?! You must be mad! ...2,500.

Delswin: Do you know what it took to get one of these? 4,500.

Anna: So we're playing the haggle game, are we? 3,000!

Delswin: 4,000.

Anna: 3,500!

Delswin: 3,000!

Anna: 3,750!

Delswin: 2,750!

Anna: 4,000, amd that's my final offer!

Delswin: Sold!

Anna: So light! I'm gonna have fun using this! And it only cost me... four... thousand... dammmit!

*Delswin flees*

[spoiler=A support]

Anna: Delswin!

Delswin: What?

Anna: That was a dirty trick you pulled earlier!

Delswin: Sorry about that! I... wasn't myself, if you know what I mean.

Anna: *sigh* It's fine. Say, other weapons are you carrying at the momemt?

Delswin: Ha ha! You arrived just in time! I struck the mother lode!

Anna: Where did you get all these?! A Reinfleche? A Basillikos?! SIX WO DAOS?! These must have cost you a fortune!

Delswin: Didn't cost me a single gold piece!

Anna: But that's highway robbery!

Delswin: I know.

Anna: Y-y-you're a thief?

Delswin: I prefer "friend in the black market", but to each their own.

Anna: ...We should become partners!

Delswin: I hate to disappoint, but I work alone.

Anna: Why?

Delswin: *sigh* ...Because the last time I had a partner, I got arrested AND lost my best friend.

Anna: Huh?

Delswin: Back in the day, I ran a vendor with my childhood friend Merlinus. We were extremely successful, and we could have anything we wanted. However, one day a customer came into our shop looking for a Light Brand. We didn't have any, and I refused to let a customer walk out the door empty-handed.

Anna: So what happened?

Delswin: I noticed a travelling caravan outside had a light brand. So I decided to... acquire it. My eyes were opened that day. Ever since then, I stole weapons we didn't have but we needed, no matter how rare. We were more successful than ever. Until I stole a prized weapon from a foreign lordling.

Anna: I see where this is going...

Delswin: Needless to say, when Merlinus found out about my... morally questionable methods, he flipped out. We got arrested that day. Merlinus cursed me every day we were in prison. When we finally got out, he said that he didn't want anything to do with me and left...

Anna: ...I'm sorry.

Delswin: Thank you for listening to me. It's been so long since I've had a conversation that wasn't business-related.

Silver: There he is! That's the thief that stole my Ag Ventus!

Generic soldier: Halt! Youre under arrest!

Delswin: Oh damn! Gotta go!

Anna: See you sometime soon?

Delswin: I'd like that!

*Delswin flees*

Edited June 14, 2015 by SilverHairedFreak25

[Snowy_One]

Okay! Time to throw my hat into the ring!

Canon X Canon

Lethe X Lyre

[spoiler=C support]

Lethe: Lyre! What are you doing out here?

Lyre: What do you think sis? We're out-doors, in the wild, and the air is fresh and clean.

Lethe: And soon the air will be full of the scent of battle and, if she doesn't come and join us in training, the scent of a certain dead sister.

Lyre: Won't be me cause you'll be there to save me.

Lethe: You... You... You're just impossible!

Lyre: Calm down sis. Just embrace the moment.

Lethe: *sigh* Just get back to training in a moment.

[spoiler=B support]

Lyre: Ahhh... The fresh air again. So nice.

Lethe: Lyre! You practiced for only five minutes! Why on earth did you quit?

Lyre: I couldn't help it sis! That place stinks! This whole place stinks badly!

Lethe: You came here to protect me, yet you keep sluffing off? It won't be long before I'll get hurt protecting a lazy cat.

Lyre: No! I mean it literally stinks! The whole place is full of the scent of humans so much it makes me sick. You don't even have me training against fellow Laguz but against that... smelly... beorc... guy... How do you manage to stand that scent?

Lethe: Beorc smell differently, as do tigers, crows, hawks, lions, and a certain annoying sister who can't act serious enough to save her life.

Lyre: *sigh* Fine. Fine. If it will stop you from clawing my back I'll get back to training.

[spoiler=A support]

Lyre: Lethe.

Lethe: Yes sis?

Lyre: Peace offering?

Lethe: It's a chicken leg?

Lyre: Stole it from one of the beorc archers. He was too drunk to notice it was gone.

Lethe: Thank you Lyre. You should not steal though. Not from the Beorc.

Lyre: Why? They're not Laguz. You've changed a lot Lethe. Before you met with that smelly human you were fierce, ordered, and a laguz. Now... You're... not the same.

Lethe: I am still fierce enough to put the fear of Ashera into you, ordered enough to notice you're missing, and can still claw a mans face off.

Lyre: That is not what I mean.

Lethe: You mean... How can I stand their smell?

Lyre: Yes. They aren't Laguz. I get that we are fighting for the greater good and that not all of them are bad, but they are not us.

Lethe: Lyre. A few years ago I thought the same. In a way I never had a distinct moment when that changed. I cannot look back and say 'this was the day I fell in love with a beorc' or 'I stopped hating beorc when one saved my life'.

Lyre: Or 'This was the day a Beorc gave me a pretty little gift'?

Lethe: Yes. Instead I just... spent time with them. I got to know them better. You barely speak two words to anyone, not even other Laguz, yet you are supposed to be the social one of us. The pretty one who uses her looks to get gifts. I am still a Laguz.

Lyre: Just a Laguz who can stand humans?

Lethe: Also, lilacs and gooseberries. Use them when bathing to help reduce the smell.

Lyre: Thanks sis.

Lethe: So, will you be joining us for practice tomorrow morning.

Lyre: We practice every morning. Let me steal another leg of chicken from that archer and I'll be there, only five minutes late at most.

Lethe: You know I'll be mad at you.

Lyre: And you know I'm still here for you, even if... I have problems. Right?

Lethe: Right.

Canon X OC Complete new character. Literally made up on the spot. Hope she does well!

Christine X Tharja

[spoiler=C support]

Christine: Hmmmm... Lets see... Calm, peaceful woods, notebook out, nice birds and little fishes in the river. Something seems missing.

???: Twig snap.

Christine: Ah yes. The creepy stalker who tried hexing me into a cat earlier this morning. Hello.

Tharja: I am impressed. Even before I accidentally stepped on a twig and revealed my presence you knew I was there.

Christine: Of course I did! It's not that hard. Most days when I'm out here it's calm, peaceful, and I know not much is going to happen while I draw stuff, but somedays it's different. Today was one of those days.

Tharja: How... Interesting. Is that some sort of weird hex I never heard of before? No. It can't be. It's lacking all the standard markings.

Christine: Don't worry about it. Would you like to come and see my drawings?

Tharja: No. That is not why I followed you. I was watching you during the last battle.

Christine: Shouldn't you have been watching the foes? I don't like watching friends get hurt after all. Makes for a lot of trouble healing. And you get stabbed of course. Neither of which is fun.

Tharja: I was. I also noticed the giant burst of flame that nearly immolated me when one of the soldiers got too close.

Christine: Oh. That. Nothing special. Did I hurt you by accident? I didn't mean to. If so let me heal you up right here on the spot!

Tharja: No. No! Get away! Ahhhh!

Christine: Awww... She ran. Oh well. Here little fishes. Mommy Christine wants to doodle you some more!

Tharja: I can sense it. That girl, she's got something dark inside her. Something very dark.

[spoiler=B support]

Tharja: Flower and Beast: Cook the whole camp a feast!

Christine: Mmmm... Nope. Not until I'm done with my drawings at least. Don't you also need something like a lock of hair from me to make those works.

Tharja: I do not know which is more terrifying. That you know how a curse works or that you seem undaunted by them.

Christine: Come on Tharja, sit down right here. I want to show you something.

Tharja: I prefer to stay standing, and a few good paces away from you.

Christine: Suit yourself. Here, look at my drawings.

Tharja: Those... are not drawings. They are random scribbles.

Christine: Yes, I know. But I still like them. They suck but I work at them. One day they'll be really good!

Tharja: You are a weird woman.

Christine: For wanting to be more than I am?

Tharja: That is not what I mean! I mean, I have watched you on the battlefield more closely than prior; sticking to the back-lines as I kept my eye on you. You are a healer, a cleric, you try to aid your allies.

Christine: Of course. That's what good healers do.

Tharja: Then you call down strong bellows of fire on any foe who dares get in your line of sight and, when you do, the gleam in your eye, it's not normal.

Christine: Tharja. Please.

Tharja: You know about curses and how they work, you happily incinerate foes, and then come back to scribble down childs drawings of a fish and... a bird?

Christine: Tharja. Please stop. I don't want to talk about this.

Tharja: Hmph. Fine. But I will figure this out.

[spoiler=A Support]

Tharja: That's odd. Can it be?

*scene transition*

Tharja: Christine. Wh... What are you doing? Where are my reagents and...

Christine: Burn! Burn! Burn you horrible little drawings!

Tharja: Christine. Your art book. You set it on fire.

Christine: Yes! Haha! Isn't it lovely? I made those drawings, now I have destroyed them, and I will make new drawings!

Tharja: My reagents! Did you set them on fire as well?

Christine: No. But the fire, isn't it so... pretty?

Tharja: I cannot believe I am the one saying this but you are crazy. You need help!

Christine: I thought this is what you wanted though. To see the real me. The person who hides away under all the smiles and healing staves. It's what drew you to me, after all. Come, take a seat, let me explain.

Tharja: I do not think that wise.

Christine: Take. A. Seat.

Christine: I like watching things burn, explode, destroyed Tharja. Ever since I was young I was fascinated by the darkness. I learned about so much of it. Curses, hexes, pain, suffering. As young teen I almost reveled in it. I found a bandit group and gladly went around... attacking the innocents, destroying what I could, all because it made me feel good. I KNEW the darkness and let it sweep me away.

Tharja: That is not wise. It is where psychopaths, insanity, and evil comes from though.

Christine: I know. I... realized that one day when I... I considered sacrificing my own teammates simply to immolate land faster. At first I thought it was just who I was but, as I did so, I messed up the spell. Set my own hands on fire. While I was recovering I... Thought about who I was and what I had done.

Tharja: You weren't a dark mage like you thought. You had become a monster.

Christine: Yes.

Tharja: You tried divination, didn't you? Trying to see if the future really had you being the monster you thought you were.

Christine: I botched it. I... wasn't a very good dark mage. I saw the future of some puppies. They were happy by the way. That was the final realization for me. I was just a monster with a tome, using her own dark desires to ignore her own ineptness and claiming to be something she was not.

Tharja: And I believe I do not need magic to see the rest. You took up the staff and tried to flee from the dark path. You stumble though and slip up.

Christine: Yes. Please, Tharja. I do not want to be that person anymore. It is not who I am, just who I was. If you see me slipping again like I did tonight I want you to use this.

Tharja: Christine. This is poison. Lethal poison.

Christine: Yes. It's why I stole your reagents to make it. You know the path better than me and can see when I'm slipping. Promise me you'll use it should I ever start to... return... to what you just saw a moment ago.

Tharja: I do not know if I can promise that.

Christine: Then at least promise me you'll wait until I've helped a few more people first.

Tharja: Maybe. I will... consider it.

OC X OC

Christine X Robin

If you're in RotE you know who Robin is already. For those who don't Robin is a huntress who has worked hard to become independent but has wound up struggling to make friends and has lost most of her self-confidence.

[spoiler=C support]

Christine: Hmmm... Little fishy, little birdy, let mommy draw you.

Robin: Ummm... Excuse me?

Christine: Huh?

Robin: You are the new healer from the last battle? Or am I mistaken?

Christine: No. You are right. Hmmm...

Robin: W-what are you doing?

Christine: Interesting. Hair is on end, back is rigid, you're... terrified of me?

Robin: What?

Christine: Oh! I get it! You're one of those loner types who doesn't like being with anyone else!

Robin: No! If I was I would not have come to talk to you!

Christine: Oh. Sorry. Well then, why are you here?

Robin: I just saw that you were alone and... I was hoping, I could... talk.

Christine: Well, you can form words for certain, but you don't think you're talking?

Robin: That is not what I mean.

Christine: Well, then, loosen up! I'm here! I'm all ears! Just speak!

Robin: You know what? Forget it.

Christine: Huh? Was it something I said?

[spoiler=B support]Robin: ...

Christine: Pretty, aren't they?

Robin: No. No really. These drawings, they are poor.

Christine: I know, but I made them just the same. Like them? That one is a bird. That one is a fish. That one is Chrom. And that one is <avatar>.

Robin: They look like stick-figures. Here, let me try for just a moment.

Christine: Sure. Wow... you drew some good stuff.

Robin: No. It is poor. Just better than a stick figure.

Christine: Ouch. That hurt.

Robin: What? I am sorry! Please don't hate me! I didn't mean that. You...

Christine: Hate you now? No. Not at all. You just said something dumb.

Robin: I guess I am pretty dumb as well.

*slap sound effect*

Christine: No you're not! Don't talk so horribly about yourself.

Robin: Ow!

Christine: Sorry.

Robin: But you said I was dumb.

Christine: I said you said something dumb. Not that you are dumb. Do you think I'm smart?

Robin: Smarter than me.

Christine: Fiddlypoppershnickelstinkers. Chrom likes to eat stinky socks and eats fish scales.

Robin: W-what?

Christine: Pretty dumb, no? Yet I'm supposed to be smarter than you.

Robin: I must be... really... dumb then.

Christine: What is wrong with that girl?

[spoiler=A Support]

Christine: That's some fine stonework you have there.

Robin: No. Not really. It is just a small trinket I made during the last march. It is not all that hard. Just a few strikes with a cobble here, a few chips there, anyone could do it.

Christine: I couldn't.

Robin: No. You could. Given a few days of practice you could surpass me.

Christine: I have been trying to draw for months now and you surpassed me in one attempt.

Robin: I... I am sorry.

Christine: Robin. Let me be blunt and painful. You. Suck. As a friend. You are entirely self-focused and care only about how BAD you are compared to other people. That's the only way you can see the world, isn't it? The poor drunk who doesn't have too copper to rub together but fifty empty bottles of hooch? Least he HAD the money in the first place in your eyes so he's better than you. You don't care one damned BIT about the things you do right; just what you do wrong. You didn't know how to say hi and ignored that I wanted to talk to you. You said something stupid so you assumed I was smarter even when I spoke complete nonsense. I don't know what your problem is but, you know what, it stops right HERE!

Robin: I... see. I guess you do not want to talk to me anymore.

Christine: *slap* Yes. I do. I know what you're going through better than you think. The pain makes you feel happy so you do it. But you know what? You'll wake up one day, look back, and realize you had so many chances. Maybe you were the worst but you could have at least done something about it; but now even the 'dumb, stupid, Robin' is better than Robin. You are worse than yourself!

Robin: But you are the healer! The cute girl with the smile who everyone likes to be around because she makes them feel better! Everyone LOVES you!

Christine: No. They don't. I see what's happening. You feel neglected, like someone has tried to spite you, so you try to make it feel better. Robin... I'm here for you.

Robin: Would... you be willing to talk?

Christine: What do you think we were just doing?

Robin: Shouting at me? Making me feel bad.

Christine: *slap* You dummy.

Robin: Ow!

Christine: Just tell me some more about this figurine. Maybe talking about this rock will get some of the rocks out of your head.

Robin: Well... this is a figure of a stag...

[Dual Dragons]

I like the amount of detail you put into 'researching' the canon characters- I also comb through support convos, base convos, and the script to get a feel for how the character talks and backstory details.

I'll probably critique all entries briefly once voting starts.

I like how much research you did too! That's a good idea when you decide you want to use characters that you're not all that familiar with. :)

Thanks, you two. I'm more of a characters person so doing a bit of "research"/analyzing scripts is not something I'll shirk off in order to preserve being in-character. :)

I just always get worried about messing up despite the research, haha...

I'll be willing to critique once we get to voting as well.

[Snowy_One]

Gonna be tomorrow.

[Snowy_One]

And the contest is now closed. Don't worry, poll will be going up soon.

[-Cynthia-]

Samba/Torrel

Overall, I thought this support was pretty good, I felt like I learned a lot about the characters here. My only real criticism here is that the A support feels short- maybe Torrel telling her story in pieces with Samba interjecting (like Samba did in the B support) would have made it seem a little more even stylistically.

McDuff/Deckson

'Astaroth and the Terminators' sounds like a weird death metal cover band. That aside, I liked this support quite a bit, there's a good amount of backstory and characterization for both characters here. Originally I wasn't fond of the C support, but it does set up the rest of the support nicely in hindsight.

Kiel/Kenth

I'm not really feeling the 'psychic dragons' bit here to be honest, feels like an unnecessary canon change and it doesn't seem incredibly critical to the support either (if you want mind reading, herons are right there...being able to turn into a dragon is already pretty cool). That aside, it's a very solid support with good characterization and history and such.

Boyd/Leo

It's on the fluffy side, but not a bad support overall. I feel like you could have done more with the B level, seems short and more of a transition than a level all by itself.

Kieran/Marcia

An interesting support- characterization is solid overall although there's the occasional line I would alter(I can't really imagine Kieran 'awwing' at things). The S support romance kind of comes out of left field- rather Awakening like in that regard. I liked Kieran talking about his past more rather than a story about defeating some kind of weird creature like most of his supports.

Ike/Bryan

Honestly, not really feeling Ike's characterization here. Lots of exclamation points, teasing, saying he doesn't want to talk about women hitting on him(he brought it up), using phrases like 'blabbermouth' and 'bite you in the butt'. It just doesn't read much like Ike to me- he's more reserved even with people like Mist, Soren, Titania that he's known for many years. The Ike in this support reads more like Boyd or something.

Syrus/Cheng

I like this support overall, lots of good characterization and development. My only real criticism here is that this support tends to run on the long side- pretty much every level is 25-30 lines which is a lot even for the wordier games, so maybe not quite FE style.

Lukas/Ricken

A solid support, got a pretty good sense of Lukas's personality and I like that you didn't go with another 'but I'm not a kid!" supports for Ricken. It reads like an Awakening support, which is good stylistically.

Jill/Leonardo

Not a pair I would have thought of, but a good support. The Dawn Brigade is hard to write for given their lack of content, but I got more of a feel for Leonardo here than in all his in-game text. Jill's second to last line in the C support is a little off "As a dracoknight, I’m cautious of the weather and wind conditions than what’s on the ground" cautious should probably be 'more aware' or something.

Delswin/Anna

Most of us don't seem to write the 'quirky' supports that are actually fairly common in FE. I think this captures that style pretty well, I was amused and you even got some backstory for Delswin in there at the end. I think I caught a Dream of Five reference there with the Kris, not sure about anything else.

Lethe/Lyre

A pretty good support overall, I like the A level. The C and B levels feel a little short though and don't seem to progress the support overall- I would have tried to fit some more content in those levels.

Christine/Tharja

Never expected Tharja to think someone else was crazy- or run in fear. Christine definitely has personality, but that personality seems to mostly consist of being bipolar and generally insane which isn't really my cup of tea.

Christine/Robin

I feel bad for Robin- she might be a little shy and have confidence issues, but I'm pretty sure Christine physically and verbally abusing her isn't particularly helpful in solving these problems.

Overall, I think this is the strongest 'crop' of supports yet, voting will be difficult. Mcduff/Deckson is not on the poll I think.

Edited June 17, 2015 by -Cynthia-

[Snowy_One]

The idea with Christine is that she is stable, yet knows that she has the 'inner monster' of her dark, violent, past where she was a monster still looming over her. That's why I picked Tharja for her supporter as she seemed like the person most likely capable of catching it.

In the C Christine is perfectly nice and happy, apologizing when Tharja expresses how uncomfortable her attack made her feel. In the B support Tharja realizes that she's got something very dark hidden away; especially with how passively she speaks of curses as if she were experienced with them. When Tharja pushed for more Christine's asking her to stop was her realizing that Tharja was willing to throw her off her safe path simply to uncover the truth; the one she had put behind her and was away from but had not fully locked up. It all comes to a head in the A support where Christine is gladly burning the book, the book she knew was bad but also held her hopes of getting better and improving within. Yet, she manages to keep control over herself enough so that she is able to return to 'stability' and even request that Tharja kill her should she ever start to relapse again. She's still in control and trying to get away from her dark past and she's not 'evil' so much as Tharja pushed too far. Similar to how sometimes saying the wrong thing at the wrong moment can turn an otherwise calm person into a furious beast as they get pushed too far; despite it not being themselves. I know it's not perfect but I didn't know how else to really show it in a single support.

As for Robin, I think we have different terms of abuse. You can say Christine shouldn't have slapped her or been so harsh on her, yes. That is true. But that's also sort of the point. Robin is so convinced of her failure that Christine's various attempts to make her not depressed result in Christine becoming frustrated. Being inviting doesn't help as Robin's too scared to talk. Being brought up doesn't help as she quickly brought herself down to the lowest possible denominator (it's not good. Just better than a stick figure). Bringing up Christine's own 'shortcomings' didn't help as Robin automatically assumed that she was dumber than something intentionally constructed to be dumb. Even exploding at her and telling her how horrible she was as a friend didn't help as Robin took it as Christine being, well, nasty and hostile when what she was just trying to do was shake her out of her idiocy. The only think that actually got Robin to talk about something else were the moments where Christine didn't focus on trying to make her happy but, rather, just spending time. Robin wasn't depressed when looking at the stick figures and even offered to help. Even with the stone figure she wasn't sad. She might have even been telling the truth (she sort of was. Anyone could do it and it wouldn't be THAT hard once the skills were learned).

Christine approached the situation wrong as she assumed that Robin NEEDED to be brought up instead of needing a simple friend to do things with. What she did wasn't out of hate or anything, it was a genuine desire to help her.

Edit: Also, think about it. What would you have done in Christine's shoes? Try to cheer Robin up? Bring up places where she did better than you? Bring up the things she does well? Other things?

Edited June 17, 2015 by Snowy_One

[-Cynthia-]

While counseling is not my area of psychology, I would probably try to have the depressed individual focus on the positive things in life and things they do well, try and have them do something to take their mind off it...slapping the shit out of them would not even be something to cross my mind.

Christine does not come off as a 'normally calm person who got pushed too far' to me. Her 'calmness' and uhh pyromania? are too exaggerated for me to take seriously.

[jankmaster98]

Hey, I'm kinda asking with regards to my possible participation in the next one of these. (If there is one, I thought this looked kinda fun) But one I kinda wanted to do would be a series of support conversations that involved a character from an outside media, to clarify this would not be an OC rather basically a crossover support. This would sorta be practice for me writing the characters interacting in my story which will be a crossover, I would still follow all the format and guidelines laid out I think, but I was just wondering if that would be allowed in the next contest if indeed there will be one. I really don't want to seem like I'm just trying to promote my story, but still I think I might be interesting to try writing out what I have in mind.

Thank you for your time if you took the chance to read this...

[Dragoncat]

Fair critique Cynthia. I also thought the B on Boyd/Leo was too short, but I couldn't figure out how to fix that.

And I see I pulled off the wildlife thing! Go me!

Jank: If you follow all the guidelines I don't see a problem. A lot of people do the same thing with their stories.

[Anacybele]

Snowy, it's Kenth, not Keneth. xP

Anyway, I'll make a response to critique later, it's much easier to make a longish post on my laptop than my phone. But I agree, great crop of entries this time. ^^

Also, why do some entries in the poll have an asterisk next to them?

Edited June 17, 2015 by Anacybele

[Nanami Touko]

While counseling is not my area of psychology, I would probably try to have the depressed individual focus on the positive things in life and things they do well, try and have them do something to take their mind off it...slapping the shit out of them would not even be something to cross my mind.

as a studying psychology major, cynthia has the right of it. to help someone with their depression if you're just an average joe, you should try to get them to distract themselves. take their mind off of it and do something that will bring some positivity into their day. violence isn't going to solve anything and if the depressed person has any anxiety towards violence it's going to make things worse. not a solution that should cross anyone's mind when trying to help someone in that sort of situation.

[Anacybele]

Kiel/Kenth

I'm not really feeling the 'psychic dragons' bit here to be honest, feels like an unnecessary canon change and it doesn't seem incredibly critical to the support either (if you want mind reading, herons are right there...being able to turn into a dragon is already pretty cool). That aside, it's a very solid support with good characterization and history and such.

Where does it ever say that herons can read minds? I thought they could only read hearts/emotions/sometimes heal wounds or afflictions. And the beast laguz seem to be able to read the land pretty well, so that leaves dragons with what? That's where my co-author and I came up with the mind reading for them. But I guess it's not an idea that will appeal to everyone. I used it in the support because I felt it a good way to help make Kenth and Kiel's relationship start off pretty rocky and drop hints to Kiel's backstory. Glad I did good overall though, thanks.

Kieran/Marcia

An interesting support- characterization is solid overall although there's the occasional line I would alter(I can't really imagine Kieran 'awwing' at things). The S support romance kind of comes out of left field- rather Awakening like in that regard. I liked Kieran talking about his past more rather than a story about defeating some kind of weird creature like most of his supports.

I'm afraid I don't see how the S support is out of nowhere? Kieran hints that he'd had a crush on Marcia for awhile (by saying he really wanted to help her and Marcia replying that she could see that since she overheard him practicing a proposal) and that spending time with her only made his love for her stronger. Marcia begins to see what a good and kind hearted man he really can be, etc. Yeah, I wasn't sure about the awwing part for Kieran, fair critique. xP

Ike/Bryan

Honestly, not really feeling Ike's characterization here. Lots of exclamation points, teasing, saying he doesn't want to talk about women hitting on him(he brought it up), using phrases like 'blabbermouth' and 'bite you in the butt'. It just doesn't read much like Ike to me- he's more reserved even with people like Mist, Soren, Titania that he's known for many years. The Ike in this support reads more like Boyd or something.

That's fair, I wasn't quite sure about Ike's characterization in a few lines myself. I just wasn't sure how else to phrase them. >_< Also, I think you're confused on one bit. Ike said he doesn't like talking about the issues he and Elincia had in Tellius, not about women hitting on him. Granted, I don't think he'd particularly enjoy talking about that either, but he wouldn't mind complaining about it in regards to his fame, methinks. But Ike's characterization aside, what about the support overall? The idea of Ike and Bryan dealing with the side effects of their fame and Ike learning to accept it the way Bryan has and all?

I'm slowly getting better at this though, I think? That, and having fun, is what matters! :)

Edited June 17, 2015 by Anacybele

[-Cynthia-]

I consider things like Micaiah knowing Naesala has strong feelings for Princess Leanne to be mind reading- emotions are mental processes after all.

I thought the idea of Ike/Bryan was pretty good overall, but Ike's characterization was...distracting.

[Anacybele]

Yeah, that's true. I meant that the dragons can see more in one's mind than just emotions though. But fair enough.

And I see. My bad about that...

[Dual Dragons]

Snowy, Lukas. I’ll forgive you—just this once!

@Cheng x Syrus - Yeah, I realized in hindsight I wrote too much for a support. That's what I get for worrying writing a descriptive convo of non-established characters. I'll work on shortening OC x OC supports next time. Thanks!

@Ricken x Lukas - Combing through Ricken's supports did get grating after so many instances of "I'M NOT A KID." If I write more with Lukas (who is admittedly one of my more weaker-written characters), I hope to show more of his social awkwardness and moments of excitability. I imagine him as one of those people who can get loud when he doesn't check himself, haha. I didn't notice the stylistic difference at first but reread it. Thanks!

@Jill x Leonardo - I was following the RD rule of "everyone can support," so I deliberately picked a support that was an unlikely pairing choice. "Cautious" might have been too technical of a word choice, then. I'll keep that in mind.

Thank you for the critiques!

For everyone else:

[spoiler=Dragoncat]

Torrel x Samba

Pretty solid, I'd have to say. While I would have had Torrel speak to a beorc to get across the same effect, I completely understood why you chose Samba after reading the support. Samba was a bridge that Torrel could at least understand beorc ways until he might want to approach a beorc himself.

The A was a little short, which I expected the C should have been.

Boyd x Leo

Boyd is the not the most savvy of people, let’s just say.

The B support could have been longer but overall good.

[spoiler=SilverHairedFreak25]

Deckson x McDuff

Deckson reminds me of Virion. Also "Astaroth and the Terminators" does make me think of a band of some kind, haha.

A good one as well. I could understand the characters' motivations.

Delswin x Anna

I could imagine this interaction between Anna and a thief or merchant, haha.

A funnier support. I liked it.

[spoiler=Anacybele]

Kiel x Kenth

Dragon laguz aren't established to read minds or emotions. Herons are (though when balance is more stabilized).

Otherwise, the support works. It could have been fixed by maybe him transforming when they are in a fight or something.

Bryan x Ike

(post-)RD Ike’s characterization… I think you have some bits of Ike that are true but are being exaggerated. And some just don’t fit. He’s reserved and the most emotion I can get out of him is when Aimee is chasing him around—and he’s not even angry or irritated there, but like “No, Soren, don’t--!”

A good concept but the characterization was off.

Kieran x Marcia

You have the characterization here more or less down pat—though I couldn’t imagine Kieran “d’aww’ing.

Marcia could do to have more variation in her language. I’d maybe remove the second instance of “fruitcake.”

The S rank could have better. I see Kieran as this guy who takes the reigns—even if recklessly. Sometimes people can get nervous that they act differently, but I think the nervousness should act somewhat close to their character. An outburst? Saying how they don’t know how these things work? I imagine Kieran as the character who knows what he wants to say and is very passionate but it comes off strange to the more ordinary person. I could sense some hinting in the previous ranks but I think those were more subtle while this one is right in your face (similar to Awakening’s support system).

[spoiler=-Cynthia-]

Sigrun x Haar

I liked this support a lot. I liked how you did show Sigrun being suspicious because of Haar’s past betrayal.

I don’t know if it’s because you axed the S support, but I keep reading the “friend” bits as stressed, as though they are defining a line which they can’t cross. I wouldn’t be opposed to an S as long as it was convincing; I just don’t know why I’m bothered about the “friend” inclusion. Maybe because I keep reading it as though it’s forced? Especially Sigrun’s line? It might even have to do with the dash.

That’s about my own criticism with it and it’s minor.

[spoiler=Snowy_One]

Lethe x Lyre

I like the support but the B support doesn’t contribute much else that the C support didn’t do already.

Tharja x Christine

While Tharja is not psychopathic or sociopathic in the same vein as Henry, I felt her reaction to Christine’s darkness as very odd. I think back to Tharja x Libra and how she reacted to that. At first, she thought she could tap into Libra’s darkness for more curses and just was surprise/shocked that a man of the robe would have something so dark in him. In A, she has subtle respect for him for managing with it and even tells him he should find some happiness since the pain has been dispelled if even slightly.

Tharja x Henry, yeah he’s as insane as ever. She responds with, “No, don’t do that. That would be problematic,” to his proposal with regards to the army. She’s more level-headed even if she is off from most sensibilities and manners. I don’t see why she couldn’t be as level-headed towards Christine.

I found it hard to take Christine seriously with her A outburst and switch back to normalcy. It might have been better if it was toned down slightly and there was a better transition.

Christine x Robin

Slapping is pretty extreme to someone being depressed. If we’re talking actual depression, who knows what slapping will do to the person’s already low confidence. They already feel bad about themselves; taking frustration out on them might even leave them thinking it’s their fault for everything.

Christine’s not a sound person, for sure. I just don’t necessarily approve the logic behind it.

I'm still deciding. We did get some solid choices.

[Anacybele]

You basically just repeated what Cynthia said, so I really have nothing to say in response. Just see what I told her.

Oh yeah, another thing about that Kieran x Marcia S support being "seemingly out of nowhere." Keep in mind that I was thinking about the fact that these two would be able to support with other people as well as with each other. It would be awkward to have any sort of big romantic hints in C-A if they already married someone else. For example, see Frederick x Cordelia if Cordelia is already married. Yeah, total bizzaro.

EDIT: Oh yeah, as for Ike being emotionless, that is far from true. He smiles sometimes, and even laughs every now and then (see his A support with Ranulf in PoR). He definitely gets pissed off too. See his outburst at Sanaki, for instance, and also his insulting Oliver later on.

Edited June 18, 2015 by Anacybele

[Dual Dragons]

No worries. I wrote the S for Cheng x Syrus in mind that they would support with other people--I just tried to downplay any implications of marriage or very strong feelings ("that must mean I have a long to go on figuring you out" and "Well, me," from Syrus and "What you're really asking for... yes, the gates are open to you," for Cheng). Whether that worked or not, I don't know, but it was an attempt to avoid the big jump something like Awakening did.

Personally, I would have relegated the marriage to the paired ending (like in the past FE games) and maybe had Marcia talk about Crimean knighthood or Crimean life and plans to stay there. I haven't brushed up Marcia's character but I don't recall if she thought of Crimea as a place she would call home or a great place to live in. She's certainly more flexible than Kieran but I don't know if she considers Begnion her one true home. She could have multiple reasons (i.e. her brother, Elincia being a great employer, etc.) to want to stay in Crimea and perhaps Kieran is ecstatic that Marcia is staying (he may or may not know his feelings at this point) that Marcia is staying as a permanent Crimean knight.

I don't know. You could tweak it so Marcia drops a little more hints about liking Kieran (I see her the one most likely to). That's what I think anyways.

[Anacybele]

Yeah, I would have left marriage to the paired ending too, but I thought the rules of this contest stated that romantic supports have to have an S rank?

[-Cynthia-]

If I were running the contest I'd drop that rule personally- if it's a Awakening character support you should probably have an S level for romances, but other games should have romantic supports that follow their systems (and if OC/OC, do whatever).

[Anacybele]

Yeah, I would've done it that way too. Though I have to admit, writing Kieran's proposal was still fun anyway. lol

[Dual Dragons]

Yeah, I would have left marriage to the paired ending too, but I thought the rules of this contest stated that romantic supports have to have an S rank?

Sure, the Awakening S supports did marriage... I was assuming just from the rules it didn't (and I would 100% accept it if I was assuming wrong).

I'd either go with what Cynthia said or make the S rank entirely optional if it has to include marriage.

[Dragoncat]

Dual Dragons, Torrel is a female. And not sure what you're refering to when you talk about Boyd not being the most savvy. He definitely doesn't make the best choices sometimes, especially when drunk...lol.

Should be able to comment on things and vote shortly, I've been slacking!

[Dual Dragons]

My mistake @Torrel

Sorry I wasn't clear enough, but I was agreeing/laughing. Meant it as a "Boyd is not the most savvy of people, let's just say. Haha."

[-Cynthia-]

So when does voting close for this round anyway?