.

[Rezzy]

My cousin had her baby. It's a month and a half early, but it sounds like everyone is doing well. She actually got hospitalized earlier this week and had to have a C Section due to some health issues.

[Zerosabers]

Awesome! What skills are you passing down

[Rezzy]

Awesome! What skills are you passing down

Well, we've got to have Aptitude and then Inspiration, I suppose.

[UNLEASH IT]

Congratulations. What's your max stat mods?

[Rezzy]

Congratulations. What's your max stat mods?

Oh, let's see

I guess my Strength would be neutral, since I'm not super strong, but not particularly weak, either.

Magic: no evidence one way or the other, since we can't violate the laws of physics

Skill: Probably my best stat. It's necessary in my line of work

Speed: Maybe a low positive modifier like +1, I walk fast, but I have asthma, so I can only go in short bursts

Luck: My worst stat, it seems I have to work hard for what I've got

Def: Neutral, maybe negative if I need to be balanced

Res: Moderately high, my immune system's been run through the ringer daily

[UNLEASH IT]

Oh, let's see

I guess my Strength would be neutral, since I'm not super strong, but not particularly weak, either.

Magic: no evidence one way or the other, since we can't violate the laws of physics

Skill: Probably my best stat. It's necessary in my line of work

Speed: Maybe a low positive modifier like +1, I walk fast, but I have asthma, so I can only go in short bursts

Luck: My worst stat, it seems I have to work hard for what I've got

Def: Neutral, maybe negative if I need to be balanced

Res: Moderately high, my immune system's been run through the ringer daily

Your lowest stat isn't anything important so you're all set.

[Res]

Congrats to your cousin!

[Rezzy]

Congrats to your cousin!

Thanks, there was supposed to be a party to meet the adoptive parents, but then she got admitted to the hospital and had an emergency C-section, so it's kinda late for that now. Hopefully, we'll still have some sort of meeting. I'd like Leo and Est to meet their second cousin, and maybe even keep in touch, if the parents live nearby.

[NekoKnight]

I have quite the predicament. My girlfriend is 33 now and while it seems likely that we'll get married in the next couple years, her age is a little concerning. I don't want to have children immediately but at the same time, her biological clock is ticking and I wouldn't want to risk her health or the health of a potential child. Anyone have any family experience with later life (as in mid-late 30s) pregnancies?

Edited September 16, 2016 by NekoKnight

[Time the Crestfallen]

I have quite the predicament. My girlfriend is 33 now and while it seems likely that we'll get married in the next couple years, her age is a little concerning. I don't want to have children immediately but at the same time, her biological clock is ticking and I wouldn't want to risk her health or the health of a potential child. Anyone have any family experience with later life (as in mid-late 30s) pregnancies?

I have an Aunt who's had a few. The only thing I could tell you from memory (since I tended to zone out when the topic came up) is that 35, as a rule of thumb, is when you're going to start having troubles with fertility, especially if you want more than one kid like she did and that mid-30s is when a lot of health concerns start becoming a thing.

If you want specific info, then I recommend baby center, if you haven't already checked it out:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-and-fertility-getting-pregnant-in-your-30s_1494695.bc

[Rezzy]

I have quite the predicament. My girlfriend is 33 now and while it seems likely that we'll get married in the next couple years, her age is a little concerning. I don't want to have children immediately but at the same time, her biological clock is ticking and I wouldn't want to risk her health or the health of a potential child. Anyone have any family experience with later life (as in mid-late 30s) pregnancies?

Yeah, 35 is the soft cap for age for having relatively complication-free pregnancies. If you have no health issues at all, you can maybe bump that to 40, but going any higher than that is inviting problems. I had an Aunt who had a baby at 42 whose only health issue was hypertension, and her baby was born 2+ months premature.

So, unfortunately, if she wants to have children, she will have to do it sooner, rather than later. Of course, there's always adoption.

[NekoKnight]

I have an Aunt who's had a few. The only thing I could tell you from memory (since I tended to zone out when the topic came up) is that 35, as a rule of thumb, is when you're going to start having troubles with fertility, especially if you want more than one kid like she did and that mid-30s is when a lot of health concerns start becoming a thing.

If you want specific info, then I recommend baby center, if you haven't already checked it out:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-and-fertility-getting-pregnant-in-your-30s_1494695.bc

Phillius, you fool! I wanted a comforting fantasy, not a hard truth!

Informative link though, thanks.

Yeah, 35 is the soft cap for age for having relatively complication-free pregnancies. If you have no health issues at all, you can maybe bump that to 40, but going any higher than that is inviting problems. I had an Aunt who had a baby at 42 whose only health issue was hypertension, and her baby was born 2+ months premature.

So, unfortunately, if she wants to have children, she will have to do it sooner, rather than later. Of course, there's always adoption.

Such is life that we are terrified of getting pregnancies when we are young and terrified of not getting them when we grow older. It's a cruel irony that humans are most fertile when they are least prepared to handle parenthood.

My girlfriend is currently between jobs and she needs to work for at least a year before she can earn maternity leave. So even if we got married tomorrow, she probably wouldn't be able to have a child until she was 35. :/

[Time the Crestfallen]

My girlfriend is currently between jobs and she needs to work for at least a year before she can earn maternity leave. So even if we got married tomorrow, she probably wouldn't be able to have a child until she was 35. :/

Unlucky. Oh well, assuming she's healthy then you should be fine it you get started before 40.

[Rezzy]

Phillius, you fool! I wanted a comforting fantasy, not a hard truth!

Informative link though, thanks.

Such is life that we are terrified of getting pregnancies when we are young and terrified of not getting them when we grow older. It's a cruel irony that humans are most fertile when they are least prepared to handle parenthood.

My girlfriend is currently between jobs and she needs to work for at least a year before she can earn maternity leave. So even if we got married tomorrow, she probably wouldn't be able to have a child until she was 35. :/

I suppose we evolved to have our babies young, so we could produce enough kids and live long enough to raise them before we got eaten by wolves.

I really hate that it's extremely hard to have a decent sized family and go into a field that requires a professional degree. College was nice and all, but I really think I could have gone straight into med school from high school, and got my degree four years sooner, not wasting all those fertile years with pointless extra education. By the time you're actually established and ready to start a family, you're already 30 or older. I feel no guilt for starting to have kids during residency.

Unlucky. Oh well, assuming she's healthy then you should be fine it you get started before 40.

Assuming zero comorbidities. Even being a little overweight or hypertensive can be amplified there. Heck, I'm only 30 and this one has been 10 times tougher than Leo was, only 2 years ago. Biologically, I would have been better off having my kids 10 years earlier.

[Time the Crestfallen]

Assuming zero comorbidities. Even being a little overweight or hypertensive can be amplified there. Heck, I'm only 30 and this one has been 10 times tougher than Leo was, only 2 years ago. Biologically, I would have been better off having my kids 10 years earlier.

Erm...well I did say should be fine. At least the chances of miscarriage are still under a quarter.

That sounded a lot more reassuring in my head.

[NekoKnight]

Erm...well I did say should be fine. At least the chances of miscarriage are still under a quarter.

That sounded a lot more reassuring in my head.

What could be more reassuring that getting health advice from a man who's profile picture includes a human skull?

[Time the Crestfallen]

What could be more reassuring that getting health advice from a man who's profile picture includes a human skull?

Trust me, I'm a Crossroad Demon doctor.

[Res]

I have quite the predicament. My girlfriend is 33 now and while it seems likely that we'll get married in the next couple years, her age is a little concerning. I don't want to have children immediately but at the same time, her biological clock is ticking and I wouldn't want to risk her health or the health of a potential child. Anyone have any family experience with later life (as in mid-late 30s) pregnancies?

Like Rezzy says, the risks increase, and your girlfriend is better off trying sooner rather than later.

That being said, there's been a lot of later-age pregnancies in my family, and amongst my friends (having kids in your mid-30s is the norm for the social circles I've always run in - largely due to living in high cost of living areas).

My mom had twins at 41; she was on bed rest quite a bit, but she delivered full term with zero complications (and a vaginal birth). Babies were 7.5 lb and 6.5 lb and didn't require a NICU stay. She followed in her grandmother's footsteps (grandmother also had twins in her 40s). My husband's grandmother also had twins at 41! The chances of multiples obviously increase with age.

My aunt struggled with infertility for years; she finally got pregnant with her first aged 39, and her second aged 41. She had to have c-sections due to previous stomach surgery and a mass of fibroids, but that was the only 'complication'.

Even if you're reluctant to have kids immediately, it might be prudent for your girlfriend to at least consult a fertility specialist. They can give her a more accurate picture of how easily she might conceive, and what her future prospects look like. :)

[NekoKnight]

Like Rezzy says, the risks increase, and your girlfriend is better off trying sooner rather than later.

That being said, there's been a lot of later-age pregnancies in my family, and amongst my friends (having kids in your mid-30s is the norm for the social circles I've always run in - largely due to living in high cost of living areas).

My mom had twins at 41; she was on bed rest quite a bit, but she delivered full term with zero complications (and a vaginal birth). Babies were 7.5 lb and 6.5 lb and didn't require a NICU stay. She followed in her grandmother's footsteps (grandmother also had twins in her 40s). My husband's grandmother also had twins at 41! The chances of multiples obviously increase with age.

My aunt struggled with infertility for years; she finally got pregnant with her first aged 39, and her second aged 41. She had to have c-sections due to previous stomach surgery and a mass of fibroids, but that was the only 'complication'.

Even if you're reluctant to have kids immediately, it might be prudent for your girlfriend to at least consult a fertility specialist. They can give her a more accurate picture of how easily she might conceive, and what her future prospects look like. :)

Thanks for your perspective. Not to devalue the struggles of the expectant mother (MVP!) but my greatest fear is the child having birth defects as a consequence of a later-life pregnancy. Being a parent is already a great responsibility but taking after a disabled child would be even harder, particularly for first time parents.

[Rezzy]

New news! Not for me directly, but my sister is expecting her third baby. Still quite a ways off. I hope it's a boy, this time, so Leo will have a boy cousin to play with, since he's the only one so far.

Thanks for your perspective. Not to devalue the struggles of the expectant mother (MVP!) but my greatest fear is the child having birth defects as a consequence of a later-life pregnancy. Being a parent is already a great responsibility but taking after a disabled child would be even harder, particularly for first time parents.

Yep, it's possible to have a healthy child after 35 or 40, it's just riskier. My Aunt had a premature deliver as mentioned, but my cousin is perfectly healthy, now.

[NekoKnight]

Seems like your family has a lot of kids. I have 2 siblings (2-3 children sounds normal to me) but it always blows my mind when I talk to students with 3 or more siblings. It's like, how do you even feed that many mouths?

[Rezzy]

Seems like your family has a lot of kids. I have 2 siblings (2-3 children sounds normal to me) but it always blows my mind when I talk to students with 3 or more siblings. It's like, how do you even feed that many mouths?

This will be the 5th, between my sister and me. I'm not sure how many my sister plans to have altogether, but I'm planning on 4. When we were kids, we liked talking about having kids and what we'd name them. I've got a big family, and have about 30 cousins.

[Rezzy]

Now dilated to 2cm, will be induced in about a month, if Est doesn't come before then.

[Rezzy]

Less than 3 weeks left to go now. I'm feeling a bit nervous. One of the big things is I'm wondering how I'll get Leo used to the new baby. Any pointers other parents with more than one kid have to offer would be appreciated.

[Res]

Aaah, so close! So exciting!

One thing we did that seemed to really help with the transition was, the day after Niko was born, we had a little 'welcome to being a big sister' celebration with Anya - we got a cake and we got her a few small presents from her new baby brother. (Anya's not into dolls at all, but my mom said that what worked for me as a toddler was I had a doll, and whenever my mom bathed/changed my brother, I would bathe/change my doll. I know a few friends who made the new doll a present at this time).

Also, other adults that may be around (family, friends) can help you by dedicating some time specifically to Leo while you care for Est.