In which blah the Prussian blind reacts to FE Fates: Conquest

[blah the Prussian]

Silas turned out fine for me, too. The problem is I paired him up with Elise, who is a tad bit unavailable at present (dick move, game).

[saisymbolic]

Yeah, Silas' usefulness usually depends on if the RNGoddess has decided to bestow her blessing onto him.

The very first time I played Conquest, I benched him because his stats did not justify me to continue using him. In BR, those growths were absolutely FABULOUS. In Revelations, he is just as magnificent. Now, I will admit the ability to grind most likely helped him in the latter two routes but, given enough love, Silas is pretty good tank in Conquest, too, as I'm coming to find out in my second run.

[Water Mage]

People tend to understimate Silas's personal, VoF.

It actually makes him an amazing tank, especially for early game. And you can pair up Corrin, so they can keep the low health for the entire map.

[shadowofchaos]

He was on spring break looking to get hammered obv.

That sounds more like Validar, honestly. He just joined the Grimleal one day as a joke and now he can't back out.

Don't drink and sign papers, kids.

Did you not get the pun, Thane?

You're supposed to laugh.

Like so:

"Haar Haar Haar".

Moving on, I'm quite enjoying the reactions. Especially the children implementation.

Edited April 5, 2016 by shadowofchaos

[blah the Prussian]

Yes, yes, yes! Take that and fuck you, Ryoma! We now return to your regularly scheduled satire.

-So what exactly is the international status of the Island of the Rainbow Sage? Is it its own individual thing? Because if it was part of Hoshido they wouldn't have needed to invade it, but if it was a part of Nohr there is no way the Nohrians wouldn't garrison such an important strategic point. For that matter, why didn't the Nohrians garrison it anyway? The Hoshidans faced little resistance.

-This chapter is great, I must say. It's gimmic works really well, and I like the mini boss aspect it has.

-The dramatic tension between Corrin and Hinoka, IMO, is wasted when it's pretty much diffused this early.

-I can't believe I'm saying this, but Superman and Batman making up because their mothers are both named Martha just got replaced as the stupidest plot point ever. No, Corrin KNOCKING OUT every single one of Hinoka's soldiers, letting all of them live to fight another day, is now the stupidest. Jesus Christ, I can understand not killing POWs, but you're a soldier! Act like one! After a certain point in this war, Hoshidans will have to be killed. You might as well do it now.

-Well, that plot point got dethroned real fast. WHY THE FUCK IS KAZE JOINING NOHR? Fight for your country, asshole! You owe no loyalty to Corrin or Nohr whatsoever! And what, is Corrin just HOPING Garon will never be like "hey son, why is that ninja Leo killed that one time in your army"? Don't you need a certain amount of intelligence to be a ninja?

-Basically, Chapter 11 is the best summary of Fates I can give so far: stupid plot, glorious gameplay.

-Okay, Garon's insanely one dimensional evilness is really starting to piss me off. It's one thing to be a dick generally, but inviting a Hoshidan army (at least that's what I assume he did, I could be wrong) into Nohr just to kill Corrin? Christ! Adolf Hitler is a more sympathetic villain than you are!

-For Ryoma's part, he launched an entire expedition just to bring his brother back. I am starting to see a pattern here: basically, the Hoshidan royals are terrible strategists.

-To add to that, given that the end of the chapter implies someone tipped off Ryoma as to where Corrin was going, and that someone is probably Garon, my question is this: why didn't Ryoma suspect a trap? For that matter, why didn't Garon kill two birds with one stone and block off Ryoma's escape route? It would have been a win-win for him!

-Ryoma: wanted dead or alive. Guilty of multiple counts of kill stealing, and first degree player time wasting by getting a crit on Camilla, forcing blah the Orussian to restart the chapter! Fuck!

-Yes, Corrin, it is actually possible for Elise to have seen Gunter in her dream. You know why? Because DREAMS AREN'T REFLECTIONS OF REALITY.

-One thing I do quite like about the writing is that this game actually makes single note characters work. In Awakening, people like Maribelle and Donnel were developed, which sucked as they didn't have any character to develop. Here, though, characters with a single personality trait are treated, for the most part, as comedy, and it works. Yes, Arthur isn't nuanced, but he got a chuckle out of me and his voice actor is clearly having a ball. Camilla may be a bit unconditional in her devotion to Corrin, but, again, it's funny. This, I feel, is what they should have done in Awakening, and I do think that, ironically, the least developed characters are the strongest story wise.

So, kids, what have we learned? Corrin continues to be a strategic moron, Garon literally went Mwa ha ha, Hinoka is the missing link between Ireland and Japan(seriously, what hair alleles did Sumeragi and Mikoto have to get one pink haired kid, one black haired kid, one gray haired kid, and one red haired kid?), Ryoma is FE's Woodrow Wilson, and the writing can be funny if it wants to be. Now if only it wanted it more. Until next time!

Edited April 5, 2016 by blah the Prussian

[Water Mage]

Some pretty funny reactions! Yeah, the whole "not killing everyone" thing is kinda silly...

By the way, are you going to do Birthright and Revelations?

-One thing I do quite like about the writing is that this game actually makes single note characters work. In Awakening, people like Maribelle and Donnel were developed, which sucked as they didn't have any character to develop. Here, though, characters with a single personality trait are treated, for the most part, as comedy, and it works. Yes, Arthur isn't nuanced, but he got a chuckle out of me and his voice actor is clearly having a ball. Camilla may be a bit unconditional in her devotion to Corrin, but, again, it's funny. This, I feel, is what they should have done in Awakening, and I do think that, ironically, the least developed characters are the strongest story wise.

So, kids, what have we learned? Corrin continues to be a strategic moron, Garon literally went Mwa ha ha, Hinoka is the missing link between Ireland and Japan(seriously, what hair alleles did Sumeragi and Mikoto have to get one pink haired kid, one black haired kid, one gray haired kid, and one red haired kid?), Ryoma is FE's Woodrow Wilson, and the writing can be funny if it wants to be. Now if only it wanted it more. Until next time!

...

How deliciously naive.

You still haven reali-Wait, it's better for you to find for yourself.

I can't wait to see you reaction to a certain reveal.

[Thane]

Did you not get the pun, Thane?

You're supposed to laugh.

Like so:

"Haar Haar Haar".

Moving on, I'm quite enjoying the reactions. Especially the children implementation.

Now I'm horribly confused and feel dumb if I've missed something.

As for your reactions, Blah, they're interesting as always, and your reactions are about what I've expected so far. I feel like a Sith Lord just watching you fall to the dark side as you get closer to the chapter.

Just one thing though: Maribelle didn't get a laugh out of you? She's hilarious! Her supports are more often than not really funny for various reasons, such as randomly offering to pay Lon'qu for a visit to a brothel.

[saisymbolic]

Apparently, Kaze is

guilty because he feels that due to ignorance and negligence, he allowed Corrinmui to get kidnapped all those years ago.

But that isn't enough reason to defect to the opposing side, in my opinion. That isn't a reason at all, actually.

I'm with you with those funky Hoshidan hair genes. They claim all of them are full-blooded siblings but they must have somehow gotten hair color from grandparents or other relatives. I don't know...

At least the Nohrian siblings share similar hair colors and, if they don't, it can be explained that they have their mother's genes to blame. Leo, Elise and Xander must have inherited Garon's hair color, while Camilla has her mother's. Speaking of Elise, am I the only one who sees traces of purple in her hair, like in her ponytails or are those ribbons or something?

[solrocknroll]

Elise dyed part of her hair purple in respect to Camilla.

I'd say that Kaze easily had enough reason to change sides, though that comes up in Birthright mainly.

[blah the Prussian]

Now I'm horribly confused and feel dumb if I've missed something.

As for your reactions, Blah, they're interesting as always, and your reactions are about what I've expected so far. I feel like a Sith Lord just watching you fall to the dark side as you get closer to the chapter.

Just one thing though: Maribelle didn't get a laugh out of you? She's hilarious! Her supports are more often than not really funny for various reasons, such as randomly offering to pay Lon'qu for a visit to a brothel.

Okay fine, Maribelle was perhaps a bad example, but I was more referring to trying to give her an unneeded Freudian excuse that blew up in everyone's face.

[saisymbolic]

Elise dyed part of her hair purple in respect to Camilla.

I'd say that Kaze easily had enough reason to change sides, though that comes up in Birthright mainly.

Oh, huh. That's neat. Do they say that in a support?

I guess it comes down more to a matter of loyalty to your country or loyalty to your liege. When put like that, I guess I can understand how he made his choice. As a retainer, you are meant to protect your liege above all else.

But what happens when your liege betrays the very country you both were born and raised in?

[Locke087]

Abuse VoF more.

The alternatives to Effie require a lot more game knowledge/In depth planning but oh boy is it worth it to not have to cart lardass around maps.

The full list of units who are better at Effies job than Effie is (with a bit of creativity) and come before ch 12 in no real order....

Arthur, Silias, Jakob, Dwyer, Corin, Odin, Camilia, Beruka.

She's such a fucking trap. (Good unit, Just stuck in thwomp for life)

Of the units mentioned literally three (Corrin, Beruka and Camilia)of those are good tanks. And Camilia (can't speak for Beruka as I never used her) can only really tank for early to mid game, near end game she is not a very good tank. But in the end she has better things to be doing then tanking. The other units mentioned do not make good tanks that are better as damage units and support (how in the bloody heck do you make Jakob and Dwyer a tank anyways?). Conquest!Effie (only conquest Effie she comes the trash levels in Rev) is one of the three good Knights in Fire Emblem history (Being Owsin, Gatrie and Effie) oh I will readily admit that this class is mostly trash throughout most of Fire Emblem but here's the but. These three knights are very useful in almost every Map and Difficulty that is not low fetching turn count (Newsflash not everyone plays this way) and if you're highly skilled at rescue chaining you should have no problems getting of Effie around. And even then if you're really that against the general class why don't you reclass just her personal skill makes for good at pretty much anything that has a good strength growth.

TLDR; Effie's job is that of tanking she is a very good tank, most Fire Emblem do not have any good tanks that are knights ( mostly because those generals in question cannot kill or are just made irrelevant by the games map design) she is one of the three good ones. Tanking is not an inherently not a part of Low turn count strategies therefore for a tank is useless by default. Most low turn count builds concentrate solely on movement, support, and damage only using the most powerful units. It is a highly linear and restrictive way to play that is the reason I don't like it.

Edited April 5, 2016 by Locke087

[Lanko]

Hah, great read.

Also, surprised you didn't complain about the Sage. Yet another person telling how Corrin is a special snowflake. The sword chooses him. The Sage tells him he is the chosen one. Kaze believes he is the chosen one. And is only the beginning!

[Water Mage]

Hah, great read.

Also, surprised you didn't complain about the Sage. Yet another person telling how Corrin is a special snowflake. The sword chooses him. The Sage tells him he is the chosen one. Kaze believes he is the chosen one. And is only the beginning!

To be fair, a lot of heroes are called chosen ones, so it's not a Fates thing.

Complaing about this would be like complaing about Conquest's plot. Beating a dead horse.

[Lanko]

To be fair, a lot of heroes are called chosen ones, so it's not a Fates thing.

Complaing about this would be like complaing about Conquest's plot. Beating a dead horse.

It is a common trope, yes, but geez, when people believe you are a chosen one because of a quick glance of the "purity of your eyes"...

[Truthblade]

Apparently, Kaze is

guilty because he feels that due to ignorance and negligence, he allowed Corrinmui to get kidnapped all those years ago.

But that isn't enough reason to defect to the opposing side, in my opinion. That isn't a reason at all, actually.

I'm with you with those funky Hoshidan hair genes. They claim all of them are full-blooded siblings but they must have somehow gotten hair color from grandparents or other relatives. I don't know...

At least the Nohrian siblings share similar hair colors and, if they don't, it can be explained that they have their mother's genes to blame. Leo, Elise and Xander must have inherited Garon's hair color, while Camilla has her mother's. Speaking of Elise, am I the only one who sees traces of purple in her hair, like in her ponytails or are those ribbons or something?

Ironically

The Nohrian Siblings all have different mothers, in contrast to the Hoshidan siblings

[joshcja]

(how in the bloody heck do you make Jakob and Dwyer a tank anyways?)

It's really hard, you click them, then you click a heart seal

And even then if you're really that against the general class why don't you reclass just her personal skill makes for good at pretty much anything that has a good strength growth.

Good thing she has such a deep meaningful reclass pool like.... first tier reclass at midgame. Cant wait to work my way out of Eranks in ch17! Good thing I used Effie or I might hav been fully promoted rn.

Kept it short cause we're back on snarky main topic now.

Toss up another thread if you wanna continue this though.

[Locke087]

Kept it short cause we're back on snarky main topic now.

Toss up another thread if you wanna continue this though.

No I'm good I needed I just vent...

Just saying you have a very high trash margin, though why Effie heart seals to a maid I will never know... (I one mans treasures another man's trash.)

Edit: wait are you telling me that Jakob actually makes a good paladin...

Edited April 6, 2016 by Locke087

[joshcja]

No I'm good I needed I just vent...

Just saying you have a very high trash margin, though why Effie heart seals to a maid I will never know... (I one mans treasures another man's trash.)

Said mediocre lol, she's still respectable it's just...

Basically, ch7 is where Effie caps out, she never really gets any better or any worse unless you spend an insane amount of resources on her, other units just scale way better and carting thwomp thwomp around feels like unnecessary work to me (casual/efficiency perspective, LTC literally only cares about 6 units over the entirety of the game).

[Locke087]

Said mediocre lol, she's still respectable it's just...

Basically, ch7 is where Effie caps out, she never really gets any better or any worse unless you spend an insane amount of resources on her, other units just scale way better and carting thwomp thwomp around feels like unnecessary work to me (casual/efficiency perspective, LTC literally only cares about 6 units over the entirety of the game).

Lol that is I get for speed reading my bad, people often put Owsin and Gatrie this category too I am fine with that (even if I disagree). I thought you grouping her with the rest of the Knights in the series in the useless (I consider all but these 3 worthless) category.

So never mind my bad...

[Water Mage]

It is a common trope, yes, but geez, when people believe you are a chosen one because of a quick glance of the "purity of your eyes"...

Again, to be fair, that's how most chosen ones are identified, "Look at how pure you are, you must be the chosen one!" and stuff like that.

So really, being indentified as a chosen one because your eyes are pure is nothing new, in fact I'm pretty sure I've heard the "purity of your eyes" quote in another work of fiction, I just don't remember what.

[Kuroi Tsubasa Tenshi]

I recall the first two Suikoden games saying something almost exactly like that. I believe an old man in FF6 uses something like that to identify Sabin as a hero too.

What lingered with me more than the whole "chosen one" schtick was the very early chapters, leading up to and during the choice. All the siblings on either side were all, "Corrin's out sibling!" "Nuh, uh! Corrin's OUR sibling!" "NUH, UH!" over and over and over, like Corrin was some kind of toy they were fighting over. It left a bad taste in my mouth for a while. And Hoshido was pouring it all on extra thick during the couple chapters it had. If I wasn't set on already set on doing Conquest first, I'd probably have been tempted to do Revelation first if had actually been out at the time. But I don't own the SE, so if I were going on gut feeling, I would've sided with Nohr only because those siblings' antics in that whole power struggle annoyed me the least.

[blah the Prussian]

I guess I'm numb to cliches at this point.

[Thane]

I guess I'm numb to cliches at this point.

Cue Liquid screaming "brother! It's not over! Not yet!"

You've got a long way to go, ol' chap.

[solrocknroll]

Cliches are a good thing.

I adore the "chosen one" thing because I find it so much more interesting than some random guy getting the great power. Suikoden and Zelda do indeed use this exact same thing. Giving the Master Sword to anyone other than Link would be terrible because Link is the pure and good hero destined to save the world from evil. That's one of the reasons I love Zelda so much; it's formulaic.