screenshot Ike's FE Megathread {15.5}

[Integrity]

i have cleverly decided to put the date of the most recent update into the braces. i rule.

[Tryhard]

Noish is like, one of the best fathers dude.

like one of the only things he's good at

[Specta]

i will agree sylvia getting no love

fury deserves a babe so i vote to negate any votes that are not for babes

Edited May 17, 2016 by Specta

[peener weener]

I think any conversation about fe4 turns into a nerd cage match about optimal pairings, remember where you are

[Tryhard]

I think any conversation about fe4 turns into a nerd cage match about optimal pairings, remember where you are

it's fire emblem. we only care about stats because there's no character

[Darros]

actually yeah i think the last guy who can use the holy mage spell is Fury's kid since Aideen's spoken for, right?

and well

it's called For Seti for a reason eh

Nah Lester can't use Holsety. The options are Corple ((but fuck Corple)), Sety, and Arthur. We can still pass Holsety on Arthur for that horse... or not use it. Either way excellent pun.

My vote's still on Lex. All hail Elite Fee.

[sirmola]

i have cleverly decided to put the date of the most recent update into the braces. i rule.

THank you. THis way, i don't have to pages through wages of waifu wars just to figure out if an update got lost between them or not (although you might want to replace it with something like "Updated 16.5", simply because it is a little more obvious that it is a date to anyone used to a different date format. Also, maybe you could put links to updates in the first post? Its fine now, but by the time you are partway through POR or something, it might get hard for a new reader to find them all without wading through the abovementioned pages of waifu wars.

Edited May 17, 2016 by sirmola

[Integrity]

Also, maybe you could put links to updates in the first post?

i'll do that sometime

[Integrity]

noice time, time for noice

Pairing results according to this Excel sheet I’m running seem to be “sylvia: die” and “fury: noish because i will it will make that one nerd mad.”

I’ll leave it to the discretion of the thread who I thought I was writing about, honestly.

Right, map text time. This chapter is, right after Chapter 2, the worst for plot in the game and I’ve been looking forward to it. Most of the difficulty with the chapter is Eldigan’s plot finally getting resolved in the silliest way, and the Orgahil Pirates, but there’s some more badness. And a funny! I’m not going to dock Genealogy for the funny, but it’s still funny.

Once again, we don’t see any of this. The villages, save for the top one by where Claude spawns, greet us with open arms like “holy shit it’s sigurd god bless” and give us money.

(fun fact, Quan almost left with this staff and I had to reload and walk him back to a castle to sell it before seizing)

In fact, one villager has to say about this,

”My boyfriend was killed in this cursed war. This is all Grandbell’s… No! This is all King Shagaal’s fault!!”

In among the generic “oh praise you guys you liberated us” is one person who just straight up blames Shagaal that you murdered her boyfriend for basically no reason. There is no “discontent of the [x] people” in this entire generation towards us, but it’s been a driving force of the last like three chapters.

I can’t wait to talk about these guys.

Map start. Shagaal talks about how we’ve pushed him too far. Offscreen, the Grannvalean nobles put in charge of Agustria have been abusing their power. Naturally, this is offscreen, and none of the villagers we talk to will reference their bad treatment at the hands of Grannvale. On the other hand,

Just look at his Goddamn chinstrap. Wow.

Meanwhile, Eldigan.

“Aaah… I can’t fight Sigurd. What to do… what to do…”

Poor dude. At least his story will be over soon.

Oh, wow, I forgot the pirates started talking this early. Sweet. All the things I said about Verdane go double for the Orgahil Pirates, and they’re also a microcosm of what’s wrong with Genealogy’s story.

First up, out of the sum total of Orgahil Pirates, one of them is Briggid, a Pretty Blonde Lady, and every single one of the rest is Man In Rags or Man In Rags Missing Teeth. We’ve seen this before in both chapters 1 and 2; one member of the enemy faction is Not Hideous and is therefore redeemable. It’s a fiction trope, to be sure, and not inherently to be demonized, but Genealogy takes it to a ridiculous level.

Second up, Telling Not Showing. “We Orgahil Pirates are known for being noble” etc. but every Orgahil Pirate we ever see is a raiding pillaging dick – ‘cept Briggid of course – and nobody in Agustria expresses surprise that the Orgahil Pirates are raiders. Is Briggid just delusional? In a better written work, I’d suspect that would actually be the case – but Genealogy doesn’t ever continue this thread beyond a few lines right here and one throwaway in an optional conversation. Apparently Sigurd’s heard that Briggid (not the Orgahil Pirates, just Briggid) helps people.

Third up, the balance of power being comically in favor of the villains. There will be an Orgahil Pirate uprising, it’s inevitable, because the hero is totally powerless to prevent it, only to deal with its aftermath. Like pretty people, it’s kind of a fiction trope for the villain to drive the plot (until the hero turns the tables) and the hero to attempt to foil their nefarious plans, but in the first half of Genealogy the heroes have essentially zero drive, all of their plans turn out to have been the villain’s plans, and everything else is them reacting to things they were unable to prevent from happening in the first place.

Fourth up, the monolithic nature of Genealogy’s factions in this generation. All of the Agustrian nobles except one are on board with evil. All of the sons of Verdane except one are on board with evil. All of the Orgahil Pirates except one are actually pirates. There are no three-way splits. There are no members of the hero faction, none of the pirates are on Briggid’s side on this one. There are only the heroes and the masses. It’s kind of Randian, I guess. Huh.

Whatever, you heard the man, let’s go.

what shagaal is attacking wow

Nah, couldn’t leave Shagaal to deal with the pirates and just stay home. That would have been a cool chapter – though this chapter is actually pretty fine except for some parts of the end.

Sigurd leaves Deirdre home for this one. You all know why.

It reflects in gameplay, which I like. It’s cute.

And Shanan rules.

I think that finally means it’s time to get to gameplay. We’re only 800 words in! And I’m feeling sick, so I can’t drink beer while writing this.

First things first, a thing I almost forgot to do. Holla atcha boy, first promotion of this LP.

Here’s another cute props to Genealogy – Lewyn does start out with a crush on Sylvia. Genealogy does a lot of little things right.

Meanwhile, I think I’ve been severely underestimating Jamke for like years now. Jesus.

And, finally, sorry Psych I think I fucked up. Spoilers: Azel and Aideen are married by the end of the map. I think they actually marry before Claude even arrives.

Let’s talk about the map! Chapter 3 is actually pretty well designed, and probably my favorite of the first generation of maps, for a few reasons. The first, admittedly shallow, reason is that I like the aesthetic of Shagaal’s kind of thrown-together army that he’s challenging you with. He’s got a few squads posing credible threats from multiple directions, and it’s overall a good fight. The only thing bringing it down is the poor mages stuck in too much woods, but “too much woods” is a metaphor for or just literally describing a lot of Genealogy’s worst map design.

This map is also the first? maybe? instance of Genealogy’s proto-supports, which could have been good but were too limited. Lex and Holyn have conversations with Ayra here, only one of them can spark it, and Ayra gets a Hero Sword from it. It gives a bit of an opportunity to show Lex/Holyn/Ayra acting different from when they joined, because it’s gated to be between a whole chapter (therefore Significant Time) after the three are all in your party. At the end, chapter 5, you can see their attitudes towards each other again, different. It’s pretty nice, and it’s a shame there’s so little use of it made in the game. I think this is an essay post later, though, so I’ll stop.

One thing I don’t like about Genealogy’s map design is the rush to get out of the castle at the beginning of every chapter. Sure, you only do it eleven times and a few of those are interesting, but for chapters like this and the previous where you just move all your mans as far as they can go (running into other mans) for like three turns it just gets tedious.

There it is, why this chapter’s start is Actually Good. Credible threats from multiple sides – come on, a squad of Azel, Ardan, and Aideen? It rules. Genealogy is at its best when you have multiple objectives, and this is the second time (first being splitting up to attack Ayra’s castle and save Aideen) we’ve seen it, and the first time it’s been done really well.

This might be the whole time in the whole LP you’ll see flanking in action.

Both Mage Squad and Left Squad suicided into Jamke, almost to the man. What the fuck?

Sure thing, guys. Anyway, time for more plot. See, Eldigan’s Cross Knights are the entire extent of the Agustrian military now. He holds all of the power in the entire country. All of it. The deck is totally stacked in his favor – the king is entirely at his mercy, his sister’s hanging out with Sigurd, he’s still got his entire military force with him, he could easily strong-arm a peace agreement or at least a talk…

Reckon he will?

So now we’re introduced to Claude! Claude is totally a personality void. He’s involved in like two more conversations after this, one optional in chapter 4 and the wife optionals in chapter 5, and I’m struggling to remember a single aspect of his personality. He’s an archetype. Claude is very boring, much like his design.

Loptyr’s back! Now they’ve orchestrated the assassination of the Prince of Grannvale and assumedly Sigurd’s dad too – who, naturally, catches the blame. And so Sigurd does, because the rumors that are believed implicate Sigurd, who has been busy the entire game so far doing His Majesty’s bidding without question, in the killing of His Royal Highness. Genealogy can’t not be Genealogy for too long, I guess.

Naturally, as this is a video game and written without subtlety, these rumors are widely believed by everybody except the heroes.

Arvis pops up again as an ambiguous force. I’ll maintain that this is the one thing Generation 1 handles well, at least up until the end of this chapter where it goes to shit. Arvis could be our ticket out of here, you know? It’s teased, at least, and not just unambiguously stated.

Ah, yeah, hi, Princess Tiltyu. I can’t keep track of all the names people have given you, or what the proper Irish transliteration should be, and I don’t care about you enough to go look it up. Who is Tiltyu?

Tiltyu: “Look, all that fightin’ stuff’s beyond me. Besides, I’m in love with the priest, you see!”

Tiltyu is an inexperienced child who will be in no way affected by murdering a bunch of people. She is Sylvia with a different hair color and speech mannerisms. And instead of flirting, she just acts like she’s perpetually about ten years old. She also has one of the more bad conversations of Generation 1 later this chapter!

At least now, instead, we can just talk about a funny thing. You probably already know where I’m going with this.

Come on Finn you absolute fuck she’s right there getting kidnapped.

Manfroy even chases her closer to them.

Anyway, Manfroy bad, etc. I’ve bitched about him enough, I can lay off it for a chapter, especially considering how much opportunity I’ll have later. Let’s go back to my old punching bag, Eldigan, for a penultimate round.

Right here, just read it. Elidgan has been established as having a bit of a temper. He holds every ounce of power in this relationship right now except the symbolic title. He’s already acted against other lords of Agustria in chapter 1. This guy isn’t even the king he grew up serving – he’s only been king for a year, and for every scene we’ve seen, he’s been not only overall evil but a specific dick to Eldigan.

“Hmph, you’re not listening to me, you obviously don’t care about my opinions, I’m your last living lord, I’ll go out and fight and die here.”

And it’s not like circumstance conspired to make it a fight to the death. We’ve given him opportunities, the plot’s given him opportunities, we can still give him more opportunities, it’s all going to end in his death. Eldigan isn’t a hero, he’s a fucking moron.

Just in case we haven’t figured out that Shagaal is evil. You know, Genealogy might have been too subtle up to this point. Eldigan takes the field.

I have no idea what was in this village but too fuckin close man. Good foreshadowing for the upcoming ambush, too, this is the kind of stuff that’s cool to put in villages.

Also, that chick I quoted in the beginning of this post has alternate dialogue if you haven’t killed her boyfriend yet! Nice!

So Eldigan’s Cross Knights. They’re one of the points at which Genealogy is Legitimately Threatening and hard to deal with, and they veer a little bit into bullshit, but it’s not terrible. It’s pretty likely that you’ll take a loss doing this

uh

…but then again, you get Claude soon with the staff to revive somebody who died. And, hell, if there’s a time to do it, this is a great one.

(I did reload and play it a little smarter, nobody died)

I pretty grossly mishandled it in the initial run before I lost Holyn and had to reload, but the gist of it is you need to farm down a bunch of his Cross Knights on the first enemy phase when you pull them in. Jamke’s pretty good for this if they cooperate with their javelins, Ethlyn can do a job with the Pursuit Ring, or one of the mages does well. Then, you’ve got two options.

1: Kill him. There’s no reason to do this whatsoever. He’s a pain in the ass to fight.

2: Talk to him with his sister. Now, you all know how this goes, and let me get something out there: I respect that they snatched the rug out from under you and made a Talk that’s totally going to result in a recruitment not actually do that. It’s cool to subvert expectations like that occasionally.

The problem is that Eldigan’s not-recruitment is handled so utterly terribly. He is continually presented as a good man in a bad situation, and he never does a single thing to get himself out of the situation, and he never lets anyone do anything to get him out of the situation. He loses all sympathy his archetype is intended to garner just by being completely impotent.

So instead you end up with arguments like this. Yes, Eldigan, Shagaal can ignore the commander of the Cross Knights. He just did. That’s why you’re out here instead of at peace, because he ignored you. And I mean, naturally, how do you go talk to your lunatic king who has abused you repeatedly, as you ride at the head of the only military organization left to your country?

Alone.

You go back alone. You take nobody with you.

And then you die. No, Eldigan, you shouldn’t have known this wouldn’t go well, because you don’t know fucking anything. Your plot thread is over, and it was the worst. Back when I was playing this for the first time, I would read about people elevating this to a level of “good storytelling” when there isn’t a single element of good storytelling in it. Eldigan’s plot thread in Genealogy is literally the worst.

Meanwhile, get used to killing this poor guy. I think he’s got four or five more deaths ahead of him.

Oh yeah, as a parting “fuck you” to Eldigan, remember how I said Genealogy got a lot of little things right and cool? Yeah, the Cross Knights will just murder Raquesis. I don’t know if Eldigan himself actually will, can anyone confirm?

Skipping forward, the next castle is nothing special. The Thracian ambush is primed a little too early so you can just catch it and then attack Shagaal, but I decide that’s stupid and just fight everyone in one huge cool team fight.

Look, dude, he was up against Jamke.

This is only our second or so look at Travant, and probably our first of the LP. Travant, as I recall, is modestly good and cool as a villain, much like Arvis. We’ll see if I was right.

Good night, Shagaal. You won’t be missed. Everyone except Eldigan knew you were a total shithead.

Shanan, meanwhile, is cool. He actually acts like a kid, but not like an anime kid, and he manages to get Seliph to you to tell you what happened. He’s all apologetic and sweet, and Sigurd handles him well. This is one of the game’s better conversations.

I don’t know why, this is one of the most iconic lines in the entire game to me.

Briggid’s secret past happens to come out right now, that she’s just an adopted daughter of their captain, and that this Matters to them, despite being pirates. The Orgahil Pirates are really dumb. Wasn’t the plan to jump in and take advantage of the confusion, not to attack the army that just crushed the country you were afraid to tangle with? Dudes.

But, hey, at least they’re quick to muster and quick to build bridges.

Tiltyu. I want to say more, but I can’t think of anything else to say about her, and we’re like 3000 words in. I don’t even know why the pirates are coming this way, but her whole reaction is just so anime.

This part of the chapter, everything left of the bridge, is the bad part. There’s only one way to tackle it, and it’s really boring, and it sends you the opposite way from your actual goals. Claude and Tiltyu have to push out while Briggid runs away towards them – then you get into a grind killing the million dudes chasing Briggid, but then you have to get Aideen up to talk to Briggid to get Ichival. And the castle is in the other direction.

This is why the update took so long. I’m an Eldigan-grade idiot and forgot to move Briggid for a whole turn for no reason and then saved the next turn without thinking. Then she got killed the next three tries at the turn and I got mad and didn’t play for four days.

Just give it a rest, dude, isn’t your reputation being helpful pirates or something? You’d think Briggid, de facto captain, would have hired some dudes who weren’t total scum.

Hey, for the first time in the LP, a boss made it back to his castle to get reinforcements. Plenty of meat for my lads.

You’ll notice probably that I’ve given up moving about 80% of my army from Shagaal’s crib back, they’re just camping around making out.

And, like Jamke and the Cross Knights, a ton of these dudes decide to hand axe Midir a bunch and die in a huge pile. I don’t get it.

MEANWHILE

This conversation is one I really never got. I literally don’t understand it.

Adean: “Hey, you’re… Yes, I knew it! Briggid! I’m your sister, Adean! Please, try to remember!”

Briggid: “How come you know my name? …Wow, you look just like me. …Adean, you say? Actually does sound kinda familiar…”

Adean: “Yes! I’m your twin sister! You were taken by pirates when you were just 5 years old! I’ve been looking for you for such a long time.”

Briggid: “I don’t know. You’re going to have to prove this to me somehow.”

Adean: “Okay. Take this bow. Then draw.”

Briggid: “Hm? Wow! Now that’s a nice bow! Just draw it, right? Whoa! W, what is going on! Some strange power is bubbling up inside me. I… I have some recollection… Ah… my heart is burning… Adean. Your are my sister, Adean!”

TN: lmao Vincent c’mon man

Adean: “Wonderful! You remember! That bow is the holy Ichival… It’s been handed down through our family for generations. It is said that only one direct descendant of a crusader is able to handle their divine weapon. And in our family, that appears to be you! Now is that enough proof for you?”

Briggid: “Adean… Let me see your face. How’s our father? And our brother… Andrei?”

Adean: “Oh! I have so many things to ask you, too!”

They’re twins, but one of them vividly remembers being separated from her twin sister at 5 years old, and the only doesn’t remember even having a sister when she was 5 years old. Maybe there’s some grounding for this, but it’s really weird and anime. And seriously, the bow awakens her locked memories. Or something. It’s really dumb. I don’t like Briggid very much.

Pirate king dies. WHEN SUDDENLY

Finally, we see Grannvale. They’re here to arrest us, because of course His Majesty believes Sigurd did this. Also, did we mention that Claude is literally a prophet and came here to determine the truth behind the killings, with His Majesty’s blessing, and His Majesty just kind of forgot that he sent him or something? Claude will try to go back to talk to His Majesty and will be stonewalled out – we can only find this out through an optional conversation next chapter.

Point being, though, Claude kind of destroys the whole gravity of the scheming back home. His Majesty had a priest who can see the truth of any situation by going to this tower, and he even uses him to do exactly that, but all of these events still happen. Why? Because the heroes have literally zero narrative power for the entire first generation, because Genealogy is poorly plotted.

Oh boy! I’ve been waiting for this dude. Hello, Reptor. Remember how Shagaal said his last line and I was like “you know, just in case Genealogy was being too subtle”? Remember how Genealogy has one subtle plot point in Arvis?

hahaha, nope, Reptor just up and reveals every big of ambiguity left in the story out of nowhere for basically no reason. He’s actually sitting there looking at Langobart admiringly and mumbling the entire evil plan right now. This is Genealogy’s plot, guys.

Mahnya comes to get us. Not much to say about it.

NOW THAT THAT’S DONE (3689 words fuck me) Briggid and Tiltyu are finishing out the pairings list. Same deal – who and why. I won’t accept death for Briggid, though, because Patty and Faval are probably the two kids who are the most dramatically improved over their subs by my metrics, since Assholio is a brick and looks dumb.

Good night.

[General Horace]

Eltshan doesn't attack Lachesis.

Ardan/Tiltyu and Ardan/Briggid.

If I can't vote for both do Beowulf/Briggid instead.

[Baldrick]

Claude Tiltyu for the irony of what happens to the Aum staff.

If Claude's going back to Lachesis then I second Ardan Tiltyu.

Holyn Briggid to give Patty a sword skill.

Edited May 27, 2016 by Tricky Drick

[Original Alear]

There are no members of the hero faction, none of the pirates are on Briggid’s side on this one. There are only the heroes and the masses. It’s kind of Randian, I guess. Huh.

If it was Randian wouldn't Briggit be misguided as she likes helping people.

[Integrity]

If it was Randian wouldn't Briggit be misguided as she likes helping people.

briggid never helps anyone again after this though, having learned her randian lesson

makes u think....

[Parrhesia]

Lex with Brigid. Who cares with Tilt

[Moblin Major General]

Jamke x Briggid for Super Faval

[Integrity]

jamke is spoken for

[Specta]

faval and patty deserve a mad rad-ass dad so I'm gonna agree with parrhesia

lex/briggid

[sirmola]

Holyn/brigid and levin/tiltyu

[Tryhard]

Ah, yeah, hi, Princess Tiltyu. I can’t keep track of all the names people have given you, or what the proper Irish transliteration should be, and I don’t care about you enough to go look it up. Who is Tiltyu?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tailtiu

Tailte

origin of the old irish verb 'to be on tilt'

i made that up

[Sword_of_Dusk]

Only read the first page so far, but I needed to say one thing before it slips my mind.

I hate seeing the word irregardless. That double negative really screws with me.

[Integrity]

i deliberately use the word irregardless to fuck with english language purists

namaste

[Tryhard]

i don't give a fuck about the english language it's shit

it just sounds stupid

[Jedi]

I'd like to see Holyn/Briggid, because it makes Patty and Faval really HP buff (And helps in other areas too), and it would give Patty some lunar capabilities

[Sword_of_Dusk]

i deliberately use the word irregardless to fuck with english language puristsnamaste

If you just like fucking with people, carry on.

Anyway, I'm loving your analysis on the game. I'm excited to see what you have to say about the games I'm familiar with.

[Bluedoom]

Dew x briggid because bargain ichival is sick.

Levin x tiltyu

Also I laughed at the manfloy disappearing part. In one of my playthroughs,Levin was standing on the spot where manfloy appears to kidnap Deirdre and I was like

"This guy literally fell on you and you're going to let him kidnap someone right in front of you?"