Anacybele Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Yeah, kinda hard to believe that it's been a year to this day since my brother's death. For those who don't know/remember, he took his own life and I found him in my parents' bedroom after he'd put my stepdad's gun to his head. It was the most horrible night I ever went through. I'm traumatized forever, because of what I saw and other things... I can't open unfamiliar bedroom doors without shaking. And if I hear a loud bang or pounding noise or something, I get afraid for a few moments that someone hurt themselves (though I don't remember hearing the gunshot that night, I still might have anyway, I just didn't remember it). I didn't used to be like that. Still, things are a lot better now than they were, say, seven months ago. I can go into my brother's bedroom just fine and not even be thinking about him sometimes when I do. I can have fun again, and I can enjoy life again. It still won't ever be the same, but at least the worst is all in the past and things are pretty good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jedi Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 I'm glad to hear you are coping with this, the shaking is to be expected. Just don't beat yourself up for your reactions to the memories of how it went, it's natural to associate things with the incident, just take it slow still, but it is really good to hear you're managing well now ^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted August 15, 2016 Author Share Posted August 15, 2016 Right. Thanks, Jedi! :) Yeah, I'm glad too. I actually think I coped better than I thought I would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flee Fleet! Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Yeah, I remember that topic you made. It's good to hear you're managing well :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EricaofRenais Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 I am glad to see you are doing better, time does heal or at least ease pain but it takes a long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nym Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Good to see you're going well. I can't type a thing for this kind of situation tho, I feel like no words are appropriate at all xD. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magical Glace Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 It's nice to hear that you're recovering, though I don't have much else to say on the matter, due to lack of personal experience, beyond a great-uncle. I'll give you a patpat though. *patpats* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Water Mage Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Even when time passes, the pain is still there. I know from experience. There's no need to feel ashamed that you aren't over it. Everyone has their time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex95 Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 I remember hearing about this. I'm sorry for what happened, but I'm glad you're doing better :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted August 15, 2016 Author Share Posted August 15, 2016 Yeah... Thanks, everyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ7009 Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Good to hear you are recovering :) Just take your time and take things at your own pace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 I'm sorry Kelly, I wouldn't ever try to say our experiences are the same, but I've had to deal with similar terrible times, unfortunately. [spoiler=Spoilered for length] I've never had someone close to me take their lives in the same manner, but I've had had several friends and family die from drug and alcohol abuse. One was one of the few close friends I've had, who I think I've mentioned previously, in my art thread. The tendency toward addictive behavior is the reason I've never touched drugs and hardly ever drink. Growing up, I had 3 cousins all born the same year as me, who were good friends, especially for me, since I didn't have a ton of friends growing up. One cousin, a week younger than me died several years ago from a drug overdose, which was horrible. This past week, has been terrible personally. Another of the 1986 babies, my cousin who is 6 months older than me was hospitalized for multiple organ damage due to years of alcohol abuse, which I wasn't even aware of, since she hid it well. She was like a sister to me growing up, and probably the closest cousin I had, due to age, and the fact that we spent every summer together. I wish I had kept closer contact with her in recent years, but had been away for school. I've had little info since I learned of her hospitalization, but it was bad enough that she had to be transferred to a hospital 2 hours away, so I've been extremely worried. I hate myself for feeling selfish, but I don't want to lose her. Apart from my sister, she's the single longest continuous friend I've had, and I don't want to lose her. I love her, and this state of not knowing is killing me, right now. She was supposed to be getting married later this year, and I don't even know if that's still going to happen or not. The other 1986 cousin isn't on speaking terms with us anymore, for reasons I won't go into here. Sorry, I don't mean to hijack your thread. I've just been wanting to get that off my chest for a few days now, and I can't really talk about it to a lot of my friends or family, since it's still a bit of a secret, and I was one of the few people she trusted enough to let know. The best I can say is you don't have to suffer alone. If you ever have a rough patch, feel free to PM me. I know I'm just some random person on the internet, but sometimes, you just need someone to talk to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alex95 Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 While I've never had someone I know take their life, I've had a few dogs and friends die from natural causes (old age, heart attack, etc). My dog that I've had for almost 10 years died in 2012, one of our family friends died when I was young, and my great-grandmother is currently hospitalized. I may not know exactly what you're going through, but I feel your pain at least somewhat. I believe I told you this already, but I'm always willing to talk and help. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted August 15, 2016 Author Share Posted August 15, 2016 Don't worry Rezzy, I like when I can talk to people who have gone through something at least a little similar. It helps both of us to cope and understand and all. And thanks. :) Thanks to you too, Power Master. Yeah, one of my dogs died earlier this year as well. Also almost ten years old. He had cancer and it was too late by the time it was caught. Just remembered we were mourning him as well... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Laufeyson Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Honestly, this whole situation and how you cope with it, really speaks about how strong you really are/can be. Ive always been really proud on how youve been dealing with this. I cant say that, if i were in your shoes, id be able to do the same thing. Cheers, love. <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted August 15, 2016 Author Share Posted August 15, 2016 Aw, thanks, Florina/Loki. ^^ If I really am this strong of a person, I don't know how I do it... I just do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HF Makalov Fanboy Kai Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 (edited) i remember this post, while i don't think i posted it, i think it was the first time i actually sympathized with you, well that and i consider tragic stuff like this more important then opinions on videogames. but what i mean is, it is good that you are better now about the even then you were, and i am happy to see that, even if we don't share the same views all the time. I am known to have a hard time getting my words across, but i really do mean well, so, glad that this has improved, and hopefully next year will be even better regarding that. Edited August 15, 2016 by HF Makalov Fanboy Kai Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErrantDShepherd Posted August 15, 2016 Share Posted August 15, 2016 Glad to hear you have been improving, trauma like this, losses like these... idk if they ever truly go away, or even if they should. Talking about these things, with people who try to be understanding and compassionate is a huge positive though... because just being able to release some of those traumas, at least a little bit... to be able to talk through some of it, helps us to heal. Anyways, glad you seem to be healing... you keep taking care of yourself. (And if not already seeing one, I would recommend getting a good counselor/therapist to be able to talk through these things IRL too.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted August 15, 2016 Author Share Posted August 15, 2016 I was seeing a counselor, but then she moved away. I'll be moving in the near future as well, so I've held off on finding another one until then. Thanks, you guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 Don't worry Rezzy, I like when I can talk to people who have gone through something at least a little similar. It helps both of us to cope and understand and all. And thanks. :) Thanks to you too, Power Master. Yeah, one of my dogs died earlier this year as well. Also almost ten years old. He had cancer and it was too late by the time it was caught. Just remembered we were mourning him as well... Thanks It's been few years since I lost a pet. We had to put my lab down, due to illness. She was 11. It was shortly after becoming pregnant with Leo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted August 16, 2016 Share Posted August 16, 2016 I really suck at saying cool things in these situations. Glad to hear that things are looking up, and if you ever want to talk, feel free to shoot me a PM. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selaphi Posted August 18, 2016 Share Posted August 18, 2016 Truly sorry for your loss darling. I'm glad you're finding ways to cope with the pain and I hope you can find yourself some peace. Stay strong, remember there are those who love and care about you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted August 22, 2016 Author Share Posted August 22, 2016 Thanks It's been few years since I lost a pet. We had to put my lab down, due to illness. She was 11. It was shortly after becoming pregnant with Leo. Sorry for the late response, I actually kinda forgot about this thread due to the trip I was on all last week. But I'm sorry to hear that... This was the first pet I ever lost... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rezzy Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Sorry for the late response, I actually kinda forgot about this thread due to the trip I was on all last week. But I'm sorry to hear that... This was the first pet I ever lost... No worries, glad you're feeling better and not thinking about it too much in the first place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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