College Stress

[Christianguy7]

What's a good way to reduce stress, because I'm literally feeling like getting in my car, and driving to another state right about now.

[Rezzy]

It really depends on the person.  Sometimes going for a nice walk can help.  Often I'd read a book or play video games.  Depending on what's causing stress, sometimes making a plan can help, if you're a planner.  Otherwise just try to find something you enjoy to take your mind off school for a while.  I also find hot showers relaxing.

[carefreejules]

Oh I know all about college stress hahaha 

I'm in my third year, studying Graphic Design at an art university and the best way for me to reduce stress is to remind myself that no matter what happens, it's not the end of the world and it's not. Most of the stress that I experience comes from worrying about the future and whether considering taking school slowly (taking an extra year) would make myself seem weak.

But you know what? There's nothing wrong with being weak and everyone has their own levels of tolerance and capacity in terms of work load. I'm splitting my final year into two because I care so much about my mental health that me graduating a year late isn't going to be a huge deal in the long run. I want to do good in school but I don't want to feel like I'm being bombarded with school work and deadlines. 

So, for me, the best advice I can give you is pinpoint exactly why you're feeling stressed. Is the workload too much? How's your mental health - things like that. Once you have a good idea of what the problem is, talk to someone about it. Tell them how you're feeling, what you might want to do to get yourself out of that stress. I wrote a really long email to my oldest sister basically going on about how frustrated and overwhelmed I am and how I wanted to take an extra year so I can spread out my courses more so I'm not taking on so much per semester. And seeing her reassuring response was so uplifting and it made me feel so much better. 

[Christianguy7]

What's causing my stress is my parents. If i have a due date a week from now, on something I have half done, they get all angry, and demand I do it right now, instead of waiting till like 3 days from now to do it. I've worked my butt off, but because a teacher cheated me out of a grade (The teacher said as long as we had everything turned in she wouldn't hold us to the due dates, and give no late penalties. So I turned a lot of my stuff in bulk in, at once, before the deadline of having it all turned in. Instead of keeping her promise, which is also in the syllabus for her class, she gave me an F.), and that's caused me to almost lose finacial aid, they have gone nuts. "Your have played a game for five seconds! Time to work for the next thirty hours, and if you dare not to, we shall scream at you till you relent!" 

[Lord Raven]

Yeah, no wonder they are getting angry. They have lost trust in you. I'm sorry to say that while it's unfortunate you are close to losing your financial aid, they have very little reason to trust that you'll do it on your own. Seeing you goof off makes it much worse. You should grin and bear it and do your work instead of blaming stress on your parents, and maybe you should in general be significantly more proactive instead of waiting a few days in order for them to get off your back.

As for what that teacher did, you can either contest the grade or you can re-read the syllabus and see if that's exactly what the professor meant. Did you even try to email the professor about it?

[Rezzy]

Going forward, you may want to set a schedule for yourself.  If you aren't a natural planner, there's usually counselors who can help you with the kind of thing.  Schedule management can be tough, but staying ahead of things can reduce overall stress in the long run.  In my line of work, the paperwork never ends, and I try to not let it get more than a week behind.  Getting ready to head to bed, but I'd be happy to give pointers later, if you want them.

[Christianguy7]

7 minutes ago, Lord Raven said:

Yeah, no wonder they are getting angry. They have lost trust in you. I'm sorry to say that while it's unfortunate you are close to losing your financial aid, they have very little reason to trust that you'll do it on your own. Seeing you goof off makes it much worse. You should grin and bear it and do your work instead of blaming stress on your parents, and maybe you should in general be significantly more proactive instead of waiting a few days in order for them to get off your back.

As for what that teacher did, you can either contest the grade or you can re-read the syllabus and see if that's exactly what the professor meant. Did you even try to email the professor about it?

I've always done great in school, I have always got everything turned in on time, except for a few times, that was caused by my OCD. (Sometimes I have small panic attacks caused by my OCD.) I'm not goofing off, I'm just doing what I normally do. They get angry if I'm not working, and If I am, I'm going to slow, or not doing it right. The teacher made it VERY clear, that's what she meant. In fact she mentioned 2 people that had did the same thing before.

[Lord Raven]

10 minutes ago, Christianguy7 said:

I've always done great in school, I have always got everything turned in on time, except for a few times, that was caused by my OCD. (Sometimes I have small panic attacks caused by my OCD.) I'm not goofing off, I'm just doing what I normally do. They get angry if I'm not working, and If I am, I'm going to slow, or not doing it right.

Yeah, again, they lost trust in you. Your previous experience in high school (this is your first year in college right?) doesn't mean anything in college.

Quote

The teacher made it VERY clear, that's what she meant. In fact she mentioned 2 people that had did the same thing before.

Then email the professor. Did you even try to do that?

[Ansem]

And if the professor doesn't reply, follow up with another one. Try not to sound needy, remain as professional as possible. 

If there is no contesting your grade, let this be a lesson learned. I don't mean to sound unnecessarily harsh, but submitting all assignments late and right before grades are put out is very irresponsible and I geniuenly refuse to believe that it did not at any moment cross your mind that this was a bad idea. Your parents really do have every right to be upset with you, and the manner in which is describe them is justified. I personally feel you should keep the recreation to a minimum for the next few semesters and really focus on your school work. It may add more stress, but stress that results from a task that will solve a problem is better than one that is looming over you and isn't being actively solved. 

 

Edited January 25, 2017 by Mimikyu

[Captain Karnage]

I'm going to be serious,

rub one out. 

1 hour ago, Lord Raven said:

Yeah, no wonder they are getting angry. They have lost trust in you. I'm sorry to say that while it's unfortunate you are close to losing your financial aid, they have very little reason to trust that you'll do it on your own. Seeing you goof off makes it much worse. You should grin and bear it and do your work instead of blaming stress on your parents, and maybe you should in general be significantly more proactive instead of waiting a few days in order for them to get off your back.

As for what that teacher did, you can either contest the grade or you can re-read the syllabus and see if that's exactly what the professor meant. Did you even try to email the professor about it?

this as well

[eclipse]

Guess what, you're going to encounter the same issues once you're out of college, too.  Instead of stressing out over why things aren't going your way, figure out how you can budget your time so that your homework gets done in a timely manner, while finding a small breather of time for yourself (and I DO mean small, your homework IS getting done).

[Parrhesia]

This sounds really self-inflicted. Never hand things in late. If some policy sounds too good to be true, it's because it is, as you found out.

It's frustrating in the interim, but your parents are worried because you've caused them concern.

Edited January 25, 2017 by Parrhesia

[Slumber]

As somebody who's been in college for... really, way too long, and am about to finally graduate, I'll give you some advice based on what's caused me huge stress and had me thinking about just ditching school and learning to surf in California to live as a beach bum for the rest of my life or something:

As far as stressing over schoolwork, even if you feel like you're being a little forceful, try to get into study groups. They help a lot, and I never would have made it through some classes(Like Physical Chemistry. Holy hell that class.) if I didn't assert myself like that. It's a lot better to get some people you can bounce ideas off of if you feel like you aren't getting the material, and you can at least feel comfortable if you get into groups and find out everyone is equally as confused. If you're really lucky, you'll get that one guy/girl in the group who just gets the material, and they can explain it slowly in a stress-free environment for you.

Outside of school work, if you're feeling like your head is just swimming with dread and thoughts about school and you're starting to think nothing in your life is going right, sometimes, you just gotta power through it. If that's not something you feel you can do, try something new to take your mind off of school. I picked up my guitar that I hadn't played in a good 7 years a year and half ago when I just completely felt like college wasn't going my way and I was considering dropping out. I now play the thing every day and am way better than I was when I was a teenager, and it's become my go-to stress reliever. Oh yeah, plus my existential dread brought upon by my never ending school journey has lessened considerably.

So if you see an opening to do something like that, absolutely try to immerse yourself in something new.

If time's what's giving you stress, exercise is also a good, quick way to burn off some stress. Go for a run, lift weights, pick up biking. It also clears your head and gives you time where you're pretty much just in your own head, which makes sorting your thoughts out easier.

One tip that I constantly got but never took that seriously that might be worth looking into is just talking to professors. My handful of experiences of going to talk to professors have all been pretty bad, and I've always had a problem talking to authority figures, but you might get a different experience.

Hopefully I've broken that down in a way that will help you deal with whatever it is you're going through.

Edited January 25, 2017 by Slumber

[Thane]

I know how you feel, buddy, I've got one class this semester which doesn't appeal to me at all and I've yet to choose what I want to write my about for my Bachelor thesis, which I must decide in a few days. I've hardly got any classes, so it feels like I'm cooped up and bound to my apartment in a strange way, though I never feel like I've got any spare time. I pretty much feel like screaming into a pillow.

I think I'll echo what everyone else here has said: manage your time well, talk to people about your stress and work out a bit. A clear head and some form of plan will help you take the next step. 

[Monte_Carlo]

On Friday.  Get into your car, and drive to another state.  Eat something in that state, and go back knowing you've accomplished what your heart has desired.  When I felt the need to watch some anime, I did.  If I felt stressed, and needed to go on a drive, I would.  Sometimes you just need a change of scenery to decompress. 

[Tolvir]

I go for walks everyday, upping the walks to two times a day now though. Its both a good exercise and a way to relax for me. I also get into conversations here and on reddit. Don't know what it is, but getting into conversations with people about something I enjoy relieves a bit of stress.

 

If you are working on something that is stressful, take breaks. When I work on my essays I fragment it. I work on a paragraph, then take a break for 20 minutes. Then return to writing a paragraph. It may take me an hour to two hours longer than it normally would, but it also helps me write better because I'm not writing while stressed. I've written my best papers this way.

[Leafa]

College is a whole different ball game compared to high school, it hits you like a ton of bricks just how much you have to manage. I just graduated from a 5 year engineering degree and I had to learn as I went, but I'm a master ball-juggler now haha. It's important to learn these skills now because as someone who's now in the workforce and living on my own, managing multiple things at once doesn't go away when you graduate, and the internet (or worse, the power) will go out if you forget to pay the bills!

I'd suggest getting a planner or using Google Calendar to track your assignments/tests. Your brain's purpose isn't to remember tests dates and due dates. Let your calendar do it for you. I used a bullet journal because it was flexible and cheap, all you need is a blank notebook. Always try to start the assignments early, I used to try to finish them for a day or two before they were due so that I'd have a bit of a buffer. Staying on schedule (or ahead if you can) is one of the biggest ways to avoid stress.

Find a good place to study, this is vital. If it's a certain table at the library, or my faculty gave my class 24/7 access to a lab that we could work in. The important thing it's not at home where you'll inevitably find things to distract you. Always work/study in that area. You'll eventually associate that place with work and it'll be easy to focus.

As for stress, I always followed the rule that unless absolutely necessary, I'd never work on a Friday night. Saturday was pretty relaxed and Sunday I'd start back up with work again. I'd always plan something to look forward to after a stressful week, whether it was a hot bubble bath or going out drinking with friends.

If you can make friends within your classes, do it. My best friends all come from my class. We joke that we bonded through suffering. When crunch time really came around, it was a lot easier to go in the lab on a Saturday morning to work on assignments when my friends were right there with me. We all learned a lot better when we could discuss things too.

Edited February 13, 2017 by Leafa