Fire Emblem Heroes and saving a life.

[Snowy_One]

A few months ago I attempted suicide. A year ago I started working as a front-line cashier at a local drug/convenience store and, well, customers are horrible little beings. Constantly rude, pushy, doing everything possible to mess up your day (seriously. If you don't want to buy something just HAND IT TO ME! Don't cram a box of condoms atop the Cadbury eggs!), more than willing to complain, and, worst of all, numerous. They are Legion!

I was doing well at the job with multiple max-score reviews and positive comments, but I was constantly depressed and exhausted. I was able to hide it because that was what the job required but I took frequent 'bathroom breaks', about two a night, just to center myself. After a particularly brutal day and a customer hellbent on convincing me that our pharmacist had told them that a $40 herbal remedy pill bottle was 'buy on get one free' and I had to honor it because he said so and got them thinking so and, no, I can't call up the pharmacy department because his word was enough and GOD DAMN IT IF HE DOESN'T GIVE ME THE HERBS AT A DISCOUNT HE'LL SLAP ME, GET MY MANAGER, AND GET ME FIRED!' (and, judging by his posture and acting, he wasn't exaggerating), all in the middle of a massive rush no less, I had had enough. I  took my break, went into the break room, took the knife, and put it up to my wrist.

Thankfully I kept enough of a clear head to at least try talking to some friends before making the first cut and doing so kept me occupied until the break finished. Upon finding out my co-workers were immensely supportive and I went to counciling. I've been going for several months and, while I've still been very depressed, I haven't attempted suicide despite multiple thoughts. This depression became so bad I quit all my RP's, even the ones I enjoyed, and basically retreated from the world. Medicine was helping and the support was reassuring but it was clear I was going to be depressed for a long time at best, even if I quit my job.

Then FE Heroes came out. At first I didn't think anything of it, it wasn't even a blip and I didn't know it had been released until I noticed the forum on this site. On a whim I downloaded it expecting nothing.

Ever since I did things have improved immensely. I've been sneaking my phone into a tiny little area where the security cameras can't see and playing it whenever there are no lines and the customers are sparse (usually after 9) and just playing it in short little spurts. My family and co-workers have noticed a massive improvement in my attitude over the past few weeks and I've even started to return a bit to at least considering designing RP's again. I've started trying to actually attempt improvement and my psychiatrist has noticed outright that I'm doing much better since my last visit. The little bits of play have actually made me happy and at least some of the smiles on my job are genuine instead of me trying to simply keep up appearances. I've even started wearing a lizard on my head while checking people out (it's a long story) because it makes some of the customers, especially the children, happy.

I attribute this all to this little game. I know it's not going to be around forever and I know I can't rely on it forever to keep me happy, but for this short time, these past few weeks where I've been happy and suicide has not once crossed my mind, I am so grateful for this game.

Just thought I'd share that little story.

[escotanner]

I'm happy that Fire Emblem Heroes is making you happy.

[Roflolxp54]

It's good to do something you like or love. Good luck on your recovery.

[Dragoncat]

Well this is good to know! If you had taken your life it would be bad. I still have the character you created in my fanfic...I might've tried to reach you regarding that and you wouldn't replied and I would wonder why.

Here's hoping you keep improving!

[BANRYU]

Sometimes it's the little things that help you get by. Glad its worthing out well for you!

[Kiran]

Congrats! I'm glad that you found something that you enjoy and keeps you happy. 

[RedEyedDrake]

@Snowy:

Honestly? I'm really glad to hear that you have found something that you can consider genuinely meaningful. Whatever feelings of genuine joy FEH let you experience, I hope that you'll find in yourself the valor to hold on to these feelings come what may and to build up from said feelings to ever greater degrees of improvement in your state of being. May you live a long, genuinely fulfilling and rewarding life.

Also, just like the opening song advertised, right?

"...Fire Emblem

Heroes bringing us hope's light

Journey from distant worlds

To still the coming night

...

Hear my voice, Great Hero, heed my plea

Come to me, come set us free..."

...Yeah, I'd say that it checks out. Wouldn't you?

Edited March 8, 2017 by RedEyedDrake

[KadenTheKitsune]

This story is very inspiring. You are an excellent roll model for people suffering from what you went through. I am glad that you found something that makes you happy. I hope that you will always be this happy, and I wish you the best.

[Snowy_One]

Thank you for the support. I'm hoping that people will hear of this as well and realize that there is joy and even something small and silly can make a huge impact upon someones life.

[Rezzy]

I'm sorry to hear you were in that dark a place.  I know how crippling depression can be.  I know I'm just some random person on the internet, but if you ever just want to talk to someone, feel free to send me a PM.

[SoulWeaver]

Happy to hear you turned it around too! I had a similar experience a while back, and it's always glad to see someone else reject the darkness and return to the light, no matter the reason. If you start feeling depressed again, let us know on here and we'll do our best to help you out!