Radiant Dragon Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 (edited) You didn't steal the Chantage? It would have made Agrias (or any female character, really) just as, if not more immortal than Ramza and Thurio. Also, screw Finnath Creek. Edited April 24, 2017 by Radiant Dragon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted April 25, 2017 Author Share Posted April 25, 2017 Theft is too low-percentage to bother with, honestly. It's like 20%s. Entice is always more accurate, so if I can't Entice I don't bother. (Also spoilers for like five updates from now; Equip Sword turns out not to cover knightswords.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted April 25, 2017 Author Share Posted April 25, 2017 Update 36In Which the Underutilised Tertiary Character Everyone Likes Shows Up Spoiler  Mystics! Holy shit! Inexplicably it's the first two we've seen all game! Mercuri-no. Mercurio will not try. Unless I entice someone I guess. The oracles decide that this knight's life isn't complete unless Selkie's rifle can utterly skullfuck him. I tried to talk that guy out of death. Roleplaying, you see. Delita disagreed. Vanilla knights are really, really obsolete by this point. Adorably, Delita still has Chant, and uses it. Zalmour doesn't take kindly to being tagged by Agrias. sigh At three Faith, I should fucking hope so, my dude. Well put. Delita finishes the job. Zalmour is probably one of the few people who could be justified as having telepowers, being a high priest. If it was just about Mercurio, he'd be teleporting now. His mistake was being in opposition to Delita. We couldn't have that, could we? Mercurio goes back on his earlier position of thinking that Judas' Diary was useful. Then some new character shows up. This is Valmafra. She was definitely meant to be more important in an earlier draft of the script. We will never actually see a Blackram knight. They shake on it, and we leave. There's a pause. Valmafra owns because she has nothing but fucking contempt for Delita. It's a split second frame, but she shrugs. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V2sBURgUBI KILL COUNTER woo   Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted April 26, 2017 Share Posted April 26, 2017 When Delita fights, Shit Gets Done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baldrick Posted April 26, 2017 Share Posted April 26, 2017 (edited) Those teleporting bosses are probably a metaphor for how Delita steals all your credit in the end. (I don't believe it's a spoiler if it's in the prologue) Edited April 26, 2017 by Baldrick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
euklyd Posted April 26, 2017 Share Posted April 26, 2017 On 4/23/2017 at 2:39 PM, Parrhesia said: If nothing else - and it's Act 4, there IS nothing else - Cid's theme owns. doesn't own enough to link it, apparently On 4/24/2017 at 4:10 PM, Parrhesia said: Guys, I really hope you got the really, really heavy-handed and obvious symbolism that Delita is trying to make up for Tietra's death. tbh I just assumed it was him angling to manipulate the princess just like all of the other pieces he's playing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted April 26, 2017 Author Share Posted April 26, 2017 (edited) Update 37In Which Mercurio Adopts a Soulmate Spoiler  Well, more rumours abound. Let's see what this is all about, then. um Well, I guess this quest probably has to do with the robot, and the robot needed to be unlocked by the Aquarius stone Beo gave us. Let's look through more rumours in the hope of more sidequests. have i already screencapped this i feel like i have So go to a central city, look at the thefts rumour, then go to Dorter specifically to see this rumour. Then we move someplace to be thrust into a cutscene and a battl- what. what the absolute fuck ugh whatever also mercurio's outfit was wrong in the video but whatever Once, when I was a lad living in the inner-west of Sydney, I was presented with a meal consisting entirely of boiled mushrooms. I am not fond of mushrooms, or of boiling, and I objected to what was on my plate. The cook reasoned that I had to be appeased. He asked me what I liked instead. I, like most fourteen-year olds, was fond of steak, and anticipated my new meal to, in fact, be a steak, thinking of how kind and wise the cook was. In fact I allowed myself to stew for quite some time upon the smell of a steak and the thought of a meal that was a steak, as opposed to the mushrooms laying before me. The cook returned, after several minutes. With a steak in tow. And my eyes lit up. My elated nostrils flared. And my joy crumbled to ash as I saw him take this beautiful steak and ram it into my congealing mushroom pile. He beamed. "Your mushroom issue is resolved!" he announced, to applause. It was not resolved. He had not, by any means, cleansed the fungal horror from my plate, but condemned my palate to it as I, unwilling to kick up a further fuss, ate my newly-mushroomed steak without comment. Parables 4:20. Balthier has like sixty faith. This isn't some descendant. It's literally Balthier. At least Guinness fucking time-and-space-travels canonically. Balthier just stole a rock once and went travelling through time to the Dark Ages. Balthier owns. I'm happy to accept this premise. But he shouldn't be here. Oh, have the unique dismissal quotes, by the way. But it's Laurence who gets the axe in the end. Balthier is the skillset of Mustadio and an improved thief and also Barrage (the traditional FF thing of 'four half-damage attacks') with insanely good stats and gear. Of course he only starts with like, two of those skills. You are too late in the game to earn that much JP. But let's end on a high. We mash Aquarius into the sphere. Yes. YES! No... ? YES! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD oh my god see guys i wouldn't leave you hanging on a bad thing. Please sit and watch this blessed gif for the next ten seconds, at least. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... Alright. We may now resume the LP. I bet you are, Orb Son! YES. We did it, guys. We finally did it. We killed Mustadio. KILL COUNTER   Edited April 26, 2017 by Parrhesia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mage Knight 404 Posted April 26, 2017 Share Posted April 26, 2017 Even I would have wept at the loss of that steak were it me in those shoes. Â C O N S T R U C T 8 I S A L I V E The Perfect Son has arrived. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 holy shit Mustadio what the fuck i dont remember Construct 8 having THAT ability Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Balthier carried my ass as soon as he showed up. Think gun shenanigans, but faster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted April 27, 2017 Author Share Posted April 27, 2017 11 minutes ago, Dandragon said: holy shit Mustadio what the fuck i dont remember Construct 8 having THAT ability Yeah, he can't actually fire missiles in-game. He just fires homing lasers instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayni Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Wait, is Mustadio dead now? Or is this some fan thing? Or is this actually supposed to be funny? Jeez I feel bad for calling the ending out, but I am confused more than anything. (Also, Balthier's here.... least it isn't Vann.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted April 27, 2017 Author Share Posted April 27, 2017 Oh, yeah, he's fuckin' dead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrostyFireMage Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 Balthier wants to fuck a furry, he has no right to act like he's so classy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted April 27, 2017 Author Share Posted April 27, 2017 (edited) Update 30In Which Sand is Coarse, and Gets Everywhere Spoiler  Man I really wish I'd done these since the start of the RP. We're going to what was originally named the Bed Desert en route to Fort Besselat where we want to go to uh. Stop a big battle or something I guess. Wish I could say the same about your force composition, mate. Introducing Barich, the best of the templars. We've caught him in the middle of doing war crimes. And then he visits war crimes upon us. Sadly, Barich ruins much of his cool credibility by then spilling his entire plan to us, a plan which Delita already spilled to us. So, we start the fight poisoned. It'd be really cool if it was actually the special war crime stuff he talked about, and slowly sapped our physical attack and/or speed, but it's just the regular variety. Barich isn't any ordinary templar. He's a Mustadio. Fairly sure his stats are better, though - he's thief levels of fast. Agrias and Selkie have the means to remove poison, at least. As per the norm, their best-laid plans are ruined single-handedly by Mercurio being unstoppable. Selkie's down, one aim on Agrias crits causing the other to become worthless. Agrias responds by killing all three of these men. The difficulty curve has evaporated by now. Icebrand procced. lol Anyway we kill Barich, reducing him to 0 health. And he lies on the ground, symbolising how we've killed him. For fucking once. Anyway, remember how El Cid was more popular than Goltanna, who only retained his power essentially through El Cid's support? I do! The game doesn't! sigh This line implies that El Cid holds the reins at the Southern Sky, and yet the four Southern Sky dudes right here are distinctly pictured Not Doing A Praetorian Guard and killing Goltanna. 'sucks that the southern sky follow you over me. oh well. southern sky, take him away' and then they do Oh, don't worry. You're in the Pope's plans, alright. Delita, who is making no secrets of his Illuminati ties and who only fucking joined Goltanna's faction like five months ago, is being smoothly transitioned into power of Goltanna's primary dudes. I'm not sure how all-encompassing the Sky Orders are. Every onstage military presence stemming from Larg/Goltanna is from one of the Skies - even the Grog Hill guys, and even us at the start. The only other order mentioned is the Blackram Knights, of whom Delita is the only one ever seen onstage. oh well. KILL COUNTER Finally, we're starting to chip away at the fucking templars!  Edited April 27, 2017 by Parrhesia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted April 27, 2017 Author Share Posted April 27, 2017 I... I wish I knew why the world map images and no other images have been breaking. I'm really fucking confused about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted April 28, 2017 Author Share Posted April 28, 2017 Update 39In Which We Go Above and Beyond Spoiler  So, we reach Besselat, and we're presented with two different walls to take. You can only take one wall... in theory. In practice, I'm going to run each wall once because it happened in Tactics Ogre: Knight of Lodis once and ruled. Please give a warm welcome to the B-Team. Mercurio who could solo this map, so we have put Guinness in his clothing to act as a sort of decoy Mercurio, codename: Ramza. Here are the two dragoons from Book Hell, one of the chemists from Beo's plotline and of course my Orb Son, Robo-Mustadio. It's a bit of a shame since these are both interesting enough maps with some enemy variety. Our start is inauspicious. In accordance with this being the B-Team map, Luso/Guinness/Ramza's sole purpose will be to speed up Robo-Mustadio. ROBO-MUSTADIO HAS ENGAGED SPICY PROTOCOL. Have fun with that, Bruce. He does have Auto-potion. For all the good it doesn't him. Anyway, we shish-kabob the archer. Robo-Mustadio has one laser and three different ways to demolish guys in melee. This is Compress, the mid-range one. He is immune to magic - permanent 0 Faith - but casts from HP. I wonder if you can boost his faith through Oratory? They are trying so hard to bully my robotic son! that said he's had better days There you go, son. My flunkies get the job done. Theirs cannot. Er. Well, this is awkward. He evaded my jump by jumping on the square my dude jumped from. The One Time I Use Defend Somewhere in the background, Bruce dies. Oops? Huh. Well, thanks, Bruce. hm... my son... So what's going on Southside? More dialogue, better map, less enemy variety. Reminder that the Southern Sky are so loyal to El Cid that Goltanna feared losing their services entirely, or so the game tells us while never acting on that promise. Sorry, you think you can do that with your Standard Battle Formation (Crime Variant)? Their ninja pays an immediate price. Agrias. Icebrand procs will never not be funny. The thing is that most of the game is spent in a struggle to hit That Final Build, but basically any generic who has reached some kind of final build becomes unstoppable against mere knights/archers/black magi. We're still absurdly outlevelled, but they have no answer to us. Why bother even using Entice/Intimidate anymore when even our support units do like 150 damage a shot from halfway across the map? Yeah, whatever. Meanwhile... Plot twist, the nonlethal nerve gas actually kills people. Zalbaag did a pretty piss-poor job of looking. regressing. Get ready for some more of what FFT thinks is politics! Yeah so Dycedarg just sort of shivs him because, fuck it, why not, right? Then shivs him again. Then he vomits a bunch of blood and dies. Chalk off another antagonist that we didn't get to kill, or even fight. Or meaningfully oppose. Dycedarg pants. Zalbaag's unimpressed. Most importantly, he's seen that Dycedarg has seized the role of evil brother for himself, and is now forced to carve out the limbo of neutral brother for his own. He's not in enough opposition to like. Draw his sword or anything. Just kind of stands there like, 'bro, the fuck?' And then he collapses. bye Mercurio, blissfully unaware that one side has been wiped out and breezily hacking down the other, is going to just flood shit by breaking a dam. We aren't faced by a Standard FFT Battle Formation! Because there's FOUR knights this time. Duh. Hubris gets the better of me. Gets the better of this prick more. Mercurio briefly talks about how there's two levers to open the dam - that's the objective, not a rout. He rams into a knight he has bad compatibility with and who even manages to block the icebrand proc. For old times' sake. Well, annoyingly, Portia died at a... unique level of slope, so we can't actually revive her apart from with Thurio. Annoyingly, their godawful black mage blocks his own firefuck, and doubly annoyingly, since Draw Out doesn't project damage, it turns out that Thurio has worst compat with the knight he's facing and did a clownishly low amount of damage, and also it turns out can't open the fucking levers. So I enlist some help. But it's to no avail. Since Thurio doesn't know what a fucking lever is, and Portia dies. KILL COUNTER Enemy variety! Well, the walls, anyway..   Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mage Knight 404 Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 "ONLY KHADEIN WIELDS SUCH POWER!" He wishes this were some bitch Gharnef job. Then it'd be exciting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoloCross Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 So... kinda late to comment this but the "dispose of Mustadio" scene is the only time a Phoenix Down is mentioned outside of gameplay. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted April 29, 2017 Author Share Posted April 29, 2017 (edited) Update 40In Which Thurio is Made to Understand the Lever Spoiler  So it turns out that we can be beaten, as long as they have eight guys and a massive terrain advantage and a favourable set of compatibilities and totally ignore our two invincible men. That's fine. That's good, if anything. Mercurio's just going to have to refuse to be ignored. Resurrecting the black mage just leads to the repeated death of the black mage. Meanwhile, despite not actually firing a bullet, all the rifle rules still apply to icegun trajectory, and shooting past the man still drops a fatal icicle on him. Agrias is actually kind of a glass cannon. These icebrands are more reflective of the average, really. Blows are traded. Damn it Agrias. Haha okay and we're now officially on a tight timer. Now we're left with a problem - that other knight won't fucking move off his pressure plate! Sending him into critical will do it. Until he potions himself. And we're left to relying on Mercurio's only ranged attack. ... Alright, new pla- - Well, today, kids, we learn that it turns out that sticks and stones not only can break bones but are the only things that can remotely stop our two invincible men. The two guards roll monkness (Mercurio's side) and samurainess (Thurio's), and those, it turns out, do always hit. As do the Fundaments. So that not only sucked but was incredibly boring. The issue is probably that they've hit the magic level that gave them Speed Point Eight, thus allowing them to do things like 'kill Agrias before she can move'. And luck, allowing us to do things like 'miss two 85%s'. whatever. Agrias can still do her job. This time, by the way, instead of the literal perfect abilities to fuck us over last time, the guard knights bring rock-throwing and... a crossbow. So Thurio just needs to rampage, and everyone else to sandbag. Chemistry's incredibly dull but incredibly efficient. Want to beat the game easily? Mercurio as squire backed up by four chemists. Selkie manages one action before being dropped again. And the punchline to this? While trying to farm crystals because, fuck it, I Can? I turn out to be wrong. You can rout to win. That isn't actually a bad thing! Objectively, it's a good thing! Routing should equal victory, particularly given that the tower guards never want to move - hell, even when on critical the crossbowman preferred to return to his post rather than getting a crystal! Which is really annoying!! Even so, routing should equal victory here. buuuut I am a little mad. sploosh Orran's here without explanation. So is... Balmafula (or, fuck, whatever her name was changed to). Who was last seen being Delita's dude. awkward He laughs. Aw, this is sweet. This comes two textboxes After the laughing animation. Did nobody tell Orran about the chemical weapon annihilating the Northern Sky and the death of Larg for which the Southern Sky is being blamed or if the war dies down it's because the north has run out of dudes and also their leader is dead, thanks to the illuminati. Saving El Cid in the chaos is all that Mercurio's done. Remove must before needs, add 'to' be done or, hell, if you're feeling rebellious, don't even add anything. Just take the must out. For fuck's sake. Mercurio's finally become a man worthy of the Beowulf name. Two more sets of equipment received! ... One more sets of equipment received! \ Haha- okay uh. Hold on a fuckin' moment. Also yes you can refuse to let him join if you're into that for some reason and yes the dialogue doesn't change but whatever! Some context for these numbers; 1) 8 is above average speed. 2) 4/3 is above-average mobility. 3) That 13 attack is just 10 without the aid of the Bracer, which is still above-average. Agrias, in her Paladin form, has Six. 4) He has a ton of HP. 5) Excalibur is the strongest weapon in the game (Icebrands have Thirteen power) and the parrying is obscene. 6) , and it grants Auto-Haste. 7) He comes with EVERY SWORDSKILL available. It's not an update without Delita anymore, is it. So we have stopped the war, so long as nobody invents the tactic of 'fighting not on the river'. I wonder how many people were in the river that we drowned. Huh, it turns out I didn't know what this proverb (I figured a gander was, like, a flock). Unsurprisingly, neither does Tom Slattery, as this makes absolutely no sense to say in this context. Delita disagrees. Like the King of Moab, it takes a while for the 'being impaled' thing to ruffle Goltanna's sense of indignation. That's it. Shuffle off this mortal coil, you cunt. Ssso Valmafra shows up with a religious zealot body double in tow. I am certain that nobody will have any problem believing that the ancient, decadent duke and the world's canonically greatest swordsman were not only equal matches for each other but managed the perfect double-kill. They'll all eat it up because it's Delita. His path, by this stage, is done. It's now down to us to do what he can't, and cripple the Illuminati. We're still left in the dark as to Valmafra's deal. She's like some kind of triple agent by this point. It's a bit hard to tell with the colour scheme, but this is the dam breaking. KILL COUNTER   Edited April 29, 2017 by Parrhesia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 Orlandeau is fffffffffucking broken/10 Â thats some good shit right there RIGHT THERE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mage Knight 404 Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 WHAT BLACK MAGICK IS THIS!? Oh wait I've used that one already. And now Cid's on the team and will break all with his visage and words of Lightning Deity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted April 29, 2017 Author Share Posted April 29, 2017 ... funnily enough, a video belonging to a guy called Velius (Belias' name in the PS1 translation, for those not keyed into the latest in 'how did they get all those individual letters wrong') with a Mercurio avatar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mage Knight 404 Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 Totally planned, I tell you! |D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoloCross Posted April 30, 2017 Share Posted April 30, 2017 Welp. You got Cid. The game is officially over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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