Hawkwing Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 ...Decided that they overdid the soup, and now Westeros was destroyed. Then they decided that "destroying is conquering," so they went to the phone book again and tried to order... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 ...some cheese pizza. After waiting a few minutes, Sheogorath delivered the cheese pizza, with free... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Roger The Paladin Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 ...gothic lolitas, because he'd assumed all the pizza places were doing it after reading one of those "pizzagate" conspiracy theories. Even the villains were shocked by this. Garon more so because one of them was Elise. However, deciding to turn a complete wtf moment into a victory, they decided to have Sheogorath... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 ...send the lolis to the Hyperbolic Time Chamber (except Elise, who was grounded to stay in Castle Krakenburg) to grow up. Then the trio made a deal with the Daedric Prince of Madness: Help them conquer Tamriel, and he gets access to all of the cheese in the Outrealms. Due to the fact that Sheogorath used to be the Champion of Cyrodiil, and he has seen how the Empire has fallen, he agrees and they first conquer the province of... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 ...Rhode Island, as it was among the first things Sheogorath saw when he did a google search. Unfortunately for him, he realized too late how small the state was. However, he decided to make the best of it by... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 (edited) ...lifting the entire state and dropping it on the Summerset Isles, eliminating the Thalmor and the Aldmeri Dominion. Next, they decided to conquer the province of... Edited March 24, 2018 by Purple Mage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 ...Ohio, except this time they went to wikipedia. However, they were faced with the United States Military this time, who were ticked at having lost one of their states. Sheogorath surveyed the land, and analyzed the might of this foe, and decided... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 ...to turn the Military into Sweet Rolls. Thus the quartet of two emperors and two princes conquered Ohio, but they were suddenly captured by a mob of teachers (led by one of the Furies of the Underworld, Alecto) because they used the vile unreliable Wikipedia. They were saved by Hermaeus Mora (since knowledge is his sphere, he loves Wikipedia), Canas, and... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Roger The Paladin Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 (edited) ...to lift this state and drop it on Hogwarts, thus accidentally wiping out a large portion of the UK in the process. With that having "conquered" yet another two lands, it was decided that it would go from being chaotic to formulaic attacking real places and dumping them on fictional places located on islands. So instead they decided they needed to take a fictional island and dump it on a real place. Garon nominated Valentia, as the continent was "a big island" but Rudolf was uncomfortable with losing his home. He instead nominated... Edited March 25, 2018 by Mad-manakete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 (edited) ...the merging of timelines, resulting in @Purple Mage's post to dominate. So we go back to the quartet being captured by the teachers. They were saved by Hermaeus Mora, Canas and... (Sorry. I had to do it.) Edited March 25, 2018 by Purple Mage Conflicting events Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Roger The Paladin Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 ...Etzel, who was seeking to avenge the death of his wife Ursula who wasn't the same one from the Black Fang but Canas thought it might have been and was keeping quiet on the issue in case. The new members of the party then... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 ...decided that the teachers were being too OCD and banished the mob to Jyggalag's plane of Oblivion. With the threat vanquished, the seven of them decided to... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 ...Stop invading America and looking things up online or in the phone book. However, they still wanted to conquer things, so they went to... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 ...Tamriel, which was their goal in the first place. They start with the Khajiit homeland of Elswyr, guided by Lethe. They succeed, then conquer the Bosmer (wood elf) homeland, the forests of Valenwood, using a... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Roger The Paladin Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 ...box of matches and some gasoline. Go figure, "wood elf" definitely referred to where they lived and not what they were made of despite the skin tones. Canas noted this for future reference. Gathering up what they could find from the ashes of the forest, they set their gaze upon Hammerfell... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 ...and decided they needed to level up more before facing the might Redguard, who live up to their reputation as one of the best races in the Elder Scrolls series. Unfortunately for them, instead of buying the grinding DLC, they accidentally got... (I would have made a SJW joke, but that's low hanging fruit, and I really don't want this story to head in that direction). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Roger The Paladin Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 ...the DLC that was supposed to explain backstory but actually just tangled it further because it dragged Owain, Severa and Inigo into the story for no reason. Garon employed these new characters, seeing as it'd expand their non-canon fodder cast by a bit. At that moment though, the former lolis, now fully grown, broke out of the hyperbolic time chamber, having done nothing but level-up continously and reclass for the time they were in it. Having all capped every stat and optimized their skill set, they decided to take revenge on those who had trapped them for their entire child-hood by... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 (edited) ...invading Hammerfell first before they could. However, the eleven consisting of two emperors, 4 princes, 2 sorcerers, 2 mercenaries, and a cat laguz managed to use the giant soup ladle from the Westeros Campaign as a Chekov's Gun, er, ladle, pouring molten cheese and chocolate across the desert, which not only decimated the grown-up lolis but also turned the sand into a glass bowl to hold all the solidified by now cheese and chocolate. To celebrate, the group... Edited March 26, 2018 by Purple Mage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Roger The Paladin Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 ...decided to throw a feast using the gargantuan glass bowl of cheese and chocolate and invite everyone from their combined kingdoms (both original and recently annexed), except for Elise who was grounded. At this point they realized their error. Save for their original kingdoms, they had not gained a single new person to pay tax due to the fact they had, in fact, killed everyone. Worse, this meant they could not possibly eat all the cheese before it spoiled. To avoid this they took the giant bowl to... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 ...the Saiyans, who mistook the offer as a bribe not to attack the kingdom, and were delighted to accept. Unfortunately, one Saiyans hatred of cheese burnt so greatly that he instantly transformed into a Super Siayan! When asked how he did this, he said... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 ...nothing and was immediately removed from the continuity by Vivec using CHIM. Now the Morrowind Tribunal heard about the conquest of Tamriel, so while the conquerors collected taxes from the Khajiit, the Dunmer (dark elves) of Morrowind allied themselves with... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pengaius Posted March 29, 2018 Share Posted March 29, 2018 Stephen Spielberg and Abhishek Bachchan and attacked ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted March 29, 2018 Share Posted March 29, 2018 ...the conquerors with satire, media, and harsh language. Unfamiliar to these kind of threats, the conquerers sought out the advice of... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SullyMcGully Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 SullyMcGully, who responded: "Wait, is this thread still ongoing?" He then advised them to go into hiding until the beginning of Act VI. However... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreatKnightEcho Posted March 30, 2018 Share Posted March 30, 2018 Stephen Spielberg and Abhishek Bachchan found them by searching on Google. After they were found, the conquerors... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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