Dragoncat Posted July 2, 2018 Author Share Posted July 2, 2018 Cops were called. We put a chicken in someone's house. You missed it. Does heaven have a barn for the holy cow, a pond for the holy mackerel, an outhouse for the holy shit, and a cooking pot for the holy macaroni? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interdimensional Observer Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Yes it does. And they're all ingredients that go into the filling for the holy cannoli (yes, somehow all those things taste absolutely divine together, if you read your scriptures right you discover the hidden recipe to make them on Earth exactly as they are in heaven). Why is my donut with chocolate glaze, coated in M&Ms, with a dollop of whoopee pie cream in the middle, and non pareils sprinkled on that, considered breakfast? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted July 2, 2018 Author Share Posted July 2, 2018 Because you have a huge sweet tooth and YOLO. (Sounds like something Gadolt would do in my headcanon/AU, I headcanon him with a sweet tooth because of a youtube comment "Gadolt eat a Snickers" and I swear to God he's freaking ADORABLE that way. Yes I know he dies and it breaks my heart because I love the guy, thank god for AUs.) Why do teen boys wear their pants down to their butts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Interdimensional Observer Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Have you heard how much time some of them spout excrement? They can't keep their scat to themselves, so they try to make life as crappy as possible for everyone else by having their 'hole on full display in public for all to see with its contents spilling out everywhere. Why, despite them all being citrus, is Orange Juice called Orange Juice, and yet Lemonade and Limeade are not called Lemon Juice and Lime Juice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfImpossible Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Because they have water and sugar added. They're not straight juice. How many whole watermelons can you fit in your mouth at once? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFlames Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 That depends. How big are the watermelons? Is there something you wish you had never seen? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted July 2, 2018 Author Share Posted July 2, 2018 I have seen...some crazy shit...don't want to describe it. How do you like them apples? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 I prefer mango or banana. Why is dried mango somehow a great-tasting idea? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMEDIA Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Because it is. Is this a conspiracy? https://imgur.com/gallery/tw1T4cq Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIHadToPickADude Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 I think I hear the FBI, CIA, MI6, and all of the government intelligence agencies knocking on my door. Are you knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfImpossible Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 (edited) Mama put my guns in the ground I can't shoot them anymore That cold black cloud is comin' down Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door If you see a red door, do you want it painted black? Edited July 2, 2018 by ProfImpossible I didn't give an f Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIHadToPickADude Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 No colors anymore, I want it to turn black. Hey Joe, where are you going to run now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFlames Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 My name is not Joe and I'm not planning on running anywhere. At least I think I don't. Does anybody know who that fat guy outside my window is? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIHadToPickADude Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Are you sure you're not visiting him in an Italian Jail? Because he might give you a lighter and tell you to keep it going for 24 hours. Are you a Fortunate Son? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFlames Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Nope. The opposite, in fact. Unless there is some kind of reference I don't get, as usual. Did you ever think about anything and regretted thinking about it immediately afterwards? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProfImpossible Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 I'm not sure, I probably blocked it out of my memory. Is it the stars in the sky, or just rain falling down? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIHadToPickADude Posted July 2, 2018 Share Posted July 2, 2018 Both. Are you on the square?/ Are you on the level?/ Are you ready to swear right here, right now/ Before the Devil? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted July 2, 2018 Author Share Posted July 2, 2018 I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't swear. God dammit I left my cigarettes at the bar! Does swag really stand for secretly we are gay? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 (edited) When used as an acronym, possibly. Otherwise, it's a curtain or fabric hanging in a drooping curve, an informal way of referring to the goods taken by a thief or burglar, marijuana, free promotional products, a very confident attitude or manner, or a traveler or miners bag of personal belongings. How is corn supposed to have an ear? Edited July 30, 2018 by Hawkwing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGoodHoms Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 If the corn isn't knee high in two days from now it won't really matter. What would you do for a klondike bar? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted July 3, 2018 Author Share Posted July 3, 2018 Drive this little car. Where were you on the night of the 18th? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFlames Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 In my bed sleeping, most likely. How do you tell what another person had for dinner two weeks ago? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted July 3, 2018 Author Share Posted July 3, 2018 Pump their stomach, it should still be in there... Where did this cat tattoo on my butt come from? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karimlan Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 Must have been a rough night. Do commentators in kickboxing matches who call a flying knee strike a "high knee" have a preoccupation with butts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IfIHadToPickADude Posted July 3, 2018 Share Posted July 3, 2018 If you think so, sure. How come no one told me that Power Rangers once upon a time made theme songs that are apart of the metal genre?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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