Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[ProfImpossible]

Luck and pluck.

 

How much does a carrot weigh on average?

 

 

[IfIHadToPickADude]

Small sized carrots (about 5 1/2 in.) on average weigh about 1.8oz

Medium sized carrots (about 6 to 7 in.) on average weigh about 2.2oz

Large sized carrots (about 7 1/4 to 8 1/2 in.) on average weight about 2.6oz

Didn't expect that, did ya?

[ProfImpossible]

Of course I did, next you'll say "how could you ever predict something like that, you're bluffing!"

Won't you?

[IfIHadToPickADude]

Fool! I knew you were gonna try to predict me! Your next line is "What? Impossible! My foresight skills are unbeatable!"

Right?

[ProfImpossible]

 What? Impossible! My foresight skills are unbeatable!  -gaaahhhhhhhhhhh   Kusoooooooo

 

Are you going anywhere fast?

 

[Dragoncat]

I'm going nowhere slow.

@ProfImpossible, do you REALLY want foresight skills? Shulk could tell you they're not all they're cracked up to be, they show you scenes of impending doom more often than not.

[ProfImpossible]

Not really, life would be boring if I could see the future. What would the point be then?

 

What is this, some sort of treasure map?

[DragonFlames]

No, it's actually some used toilet pa--- you know what? Sure! It's a treasure map!

What do you consider evil?

[IfIHadToPickADude]

Well written and well made horror games.

How long can you read/listen to a really bad fanfic?

[Dragoncat]

5 seconds.

What is this, a convention center for ants?

[ProfImpossible]

That would be a character forming experience.... get it? cause all the formic acid?

 

What is this, some sort of country bear jamberoo?

[DragonFlames]

If it is, I hope everyone brought a lot of salmon, in case the bears get hungry...

What is this, a blind date for lions?

[Dismissed]

No.

Do you want some puto?

[Interdimensional Observer]

On 7/5/2018 at 6:59 PM, Dragoncat said:

I sure hope so! I enjoyed XD a lot too though. Once had a fanfic idea set in XD where Wes and Rui have a granddaughter Michael's age, saying it's that many years since Colosseum, and she's secretly working for Cipher and flirts with Michael and calls him "Wild Mike" and when Wes finds out about the Cipher thing he threatens to disown her.

I like XD, I just think that Colosseum was a bit stronger in its feel, that and I didn't like how XD got rid of The Under- I liked that place! Although neither game did I actually complete as a kid, and I only have XD now to compare with, Colosseum was sadly sold by a scumbag leech of relative after their host died, and the host just so happened to have my Colosseum copy. If I ever find a computer that I can use for emulation, I would probably run Colosseum on it just to replay it in full this time, made it as far as Lady Venus.

I've tried my own hand at a Orre fanfic, a rewriting of both Orre games set at the same time, parallel to my Kanto-Johto Saga, with an emphasis more on the Colosseum crew than the XD one. Orre, outside of Agate, Mt. Battle, and Professor's Krane's lab (which alongside Mt. Battle now have towns with them just to add a few more human residences to the region) have been conquered by Cipher completely. Evice takes care of internal Orre affairs, while Greevil leads the Cipher Expansionary Force aboard from Citadark to Johto and Kanto. 

Spoiler

The game begins a few weeks after the destruction of Snagem. Snagem under Gonzap allied with the rising tide of Cipher (formerly Greevil's Gateon-based white collar Pecunia and Evice's more earthly Pyrite-centered Wraith groups, before the two formally merged into one about ten years prior), thinking it would help Snagem's standing. However, Gonzap now decides that Cipher's leash is tightening too much, and plans to separate from it. Cipher catches wind of this and attacks Snagem. Snagem puts up a strong resistance, but suddenly its independently-minded hotshot Wes defects, forcing Gonzap and others able to flee to do so. Ultimately ending up in Johto where they ally with Will and do a little work for the Rocket Renegades in Johto Saga, their end goal being the capture of Celebi.

Wes is brought under watch to Citadark at the formal start of the fanfic, having been interrogated thoroughly by Evice and co., Greevil will now do the same before Wes's future is decided. Wes gets a chance to spar with Ardos and Eldes, with Nascour as his doubles partner, before being sent back to the mainland in one more test of loyalty. This test has him working with Dakim, who is appointed the new leader of a sham "Snagem" consisting entirely of Cipher members whose job are to be the public bogeyman of Orre to keep Cipher in the shadows unseen. Wes with "Snagem" bombs the Pre-Gym in Phenac, which is outside of Cipher's control- demolish it and all Pokemon training will have to be relocated to Phenac Colosseum, which Cipher controls. This mission ends with Justy the Pre-Gym Leader defeated and crying out that the shadows over Orre are great, and that trainers must arise who are able to face them.

Thus the scene shifts a little while later chronologically to Michael, in the virtual battle sim as at the start of XD. The game starts with him carrying out some errands in the new town around Professor's Krane's lab and a visit to Gateon, where he bumps into Greevil as before. Here, Jovi says their bringing a special part to Professor Krane's lab, who needs it due to all these mad Pokemon who are ending up in his lab but he can't yet identify the cause of the madness (Shadow Pokemon of course). Whoops! What happens the day after this errand run? A Snagem attack on the relatively undefended lab to prevent Krane from doing anything to stop the spread of Shadow Pokemon. Fortunately, an Area Leader from Mt. Battle (more of an OC than not, she can be a girl to be a female partner to Michael) happens to be there, and after seeing what has happened will see if she can get the professor's lab more protection from Mt. Battle. Michael, feeling like he needs to get stronger after failing to stop the attack, heads with the Area Leader to train at Mt. Battle.

Then things flip back to Wes. About three months have passed since the Pre-Gym bombing (which was accompanied by some snagging in the mass panic it immediately caused), and Wes for his service in it has been elevated to the glorious position of Cipher Admin, which makes his life luxurious. He has been helping Dakim in raids across Orre ever since, and doing an amazing job at it (with a helmet on of course to disguise his identity for reasons I'm about to get to). Wes is called to Realgam, which is the process of being constructed into Orre's new capital, a Cipher built machine-filled city with a glorious Colosseum at the center. Evice by the way is Orre Governor here, Snattle is the Mayor of Phenac. Wes at the meeting stands besides all his fellow Admins: Miror B., Gorigan, Dakim, Lady Venus, Ein, and Nascour and Evice. Briefly at the beginning of the meeting, Greevil, Ardos, Eldes and Lovrina are shown via an electronic screen to discuss their duties as the Cipher Expansionary Force. Everyone in the Cipher Home Front then goes over their respective role: Ein experiments and makes Shadow Pokemon, Miror. B. distributes them throughout the Pyrite area, Lady Venus The Under, Snattle Phenac, Dakim leads "Snagem" and pillages Orre, Gorigan is entrusted with Cipher's internal security.

Wes is at first part of Dakim's Snagem, but then he hears of how Mt. Battle, Agate, and Professor Krane's Lab are the only parts of Orre yet to fall to Cipher, although they eventually all will. Wes and Dakim are in the early preliminary phases of planning a grand "war" with Mt. Battle, which should hopefully pressure it into turning to the Orre central government for help, which means the help of Evice and hence Cipher, and thus it will be corrupted. Wes however is tired of hearing that Agate Village is impenetrable, and liking a challenge and doing his own thing, asks to be allowed to investigate Agate himself, taking "vacation" time if need be to do so. 

At this point Evice relents after some arguing amongst the Admins, and lets Wes, with an aide to assist and keep tabs on him (he still isn't fully trusted owing to his Snagem betrayal and independent nature) for a few days in Agate. From here he meets Rui and Agate is attacked by a """""Snagem""""" which is just a bunch of amateurs who got their hands on Shadow Pokemon who pretend to be Snagem, but have zero relation to Cipher. Rui discovers her power to see Shadow Pokemon, and seeks to seek out Orre's other resistors against Snagem to protect Agate and Pokemon alike.

Now this is about where I stopped. I just couldn't find a way to reconcile Wes becoming an effective undercover operative for Cipher penetrating the Orre resistance movement, and him actually doing things that undermine Cipher in some way. How would Cipher tolerate him beating on their own kind and helping reveal the existence of Cipher in the first place? He does eventually he betrays the resistance, only to then betray Cipher when he sees the resistance is tenaciously clinging to life after his betrayal. But the thing is, without him there in the first place helping them, the resistance would have never grown into such a threat, so how would Cipher tolerate him facilitating the resistance's growth?

I do have the idea of him misleading the resistance into attacking a desalination plant near Gateon (Orre is desert, desalination is very expensive, but Orre needs its freshwater and desalination can provide it). By having Cipher sabotage the plant while the resistance is there, the blame would then fall on the resistance for destroying a precious public utility- which would contribute towards discrediting it in the public eye, weakening it. But one act alone would not justify Cipher allowing Wes to oppose it so much as he does incognito. Unless Cipher was overly trusting or stupid, and maybe I'm making it too much the opposite of these things.

The desalination plant would in addition be indicative of Evice's policies as Governor of Orre and his true nature. Humanity he is willing to improve the quality of life for, including building that desalination plant. But his methods are corrupt to the core, and he bats not an eye at degrading Pokemon through such atrocities as Shadow Pokemon and the Colosseums. And when Cipher's interests and human interests conflict, he would ultimately side with Cipher's interests, symbolized in his willingness to destroy the desalination plant.

There is the secondary issue of balancing the sometimes alternating perspectives of Michael and Wes as well (although at other times they work together). To which must be added at least one battle with each of all the Admins, barring Greevil's group (also, Gorigan betrays to become a hero sometime after his defeat).

The final battle location has already been decided though- Realgam City, turned into an invincible automated Cipher fortress. Here, Cipher makes its last stand against the Orre Regional Resistance Ensemble (ORRE), named such because it isn't a single resistance movement, rather it is the coming together of smaller local groups into one varied whole. Phenac has Justy and the Pre-Gym members, Mt. Battle is its own thing, The Under has the Kid's Grid, Pyrite has Duking, Rui, Eagun and the spiritually-inclined of Agate have their own community. Altogether they are Orre's defenders.

Then there was to be post-main narrative arc where Ardos returns to Orre a few months later. The Cipher Expansionary Force was soundly defeated about the same time as Evice on Citadark by the heroes of Kanto and Johto, including Green (or Blue if you prefer to call him that) and Lance and Lorelei. Greevil converted himself into shadow energies to complete the rushed conversion of Lugia to Shadow Lugia, and just before this, Eldes betrayed his father and organization. Ardos managed to escape custody with Lovrina and they return to Orre to rebuild Cipher. Fortunately, Eldes refuses to let his twin brother get away with this and pursues him back home.

Gonzap too is allowed to return with Eldes after Green/Blue defeated him and Will at Celadon Forest (I invented this location) once peace has returned to Kanto and Johto. Gonzap is surprised to see Cipher is no more, and even more to his surprise and disgust, one of the leaders of Cipher's downfall, was the lone underling who betrayed him when he thought defying Cipher was a good idea! Were it not for him, Snagem would've never had to have gone through the harrowing and fruitless exile in Johto it did. Thus, Gonzap leaves Eldes and allies with Ardos. In desperate need for allies, Ardos swallows Gonzap, but Gonzap has no intentions of rebuilding Cipher. He does this solely to get Wes's attention, he wants answers straight from him and also revenge for what he had done before.

Ardos himself, although he more than anyone else by far has the drive to rebuild Cipher, he lacks the charisma and is too harsh, demanding, and uncompromising to attract a large crowd of followers. Cipher has been destroyed, Orre is still on edge from it, it is impossible for it to recover for quite some years to come, Ardos refuses to recognize this.

The Ardos epilogue arc ends with his Cipher revival effort stopped, him arrested and imprisoned tightly away. Gonzap on the other hand loses to Wes, but gets some sense of closure from losing to him. Gonzap still can't understand why Wes betrayed, but to fair, nobody but Wes, and maybe his Espeon and Umbreon, understand him. Nobody even knows if "Wes" is his real name or if he is a native Orrean at all! One day, he just strolled up to Snagem with his Espeon and Umbreon and asked if he could join. He after a little test of his merit was allowed to. Within Snagem, he remained aloof and apart. Gonzap was his boss, but the two never developed a cozy boss-employee or "father-son" relationship, Gonzap was too rugged and Wes too detached. Gonzap never saw Wes as his favorite cohort, he was a wild card which made that a hard proposition to swallow. Wes did develop some camaraderie for Snagem which mildly expressed itself, he wasn't overly edgy, and he doesn't exactly regret his days as a criminal, but he never truly warmed up to anyone. He didn't establish a competing faction within Snagem against Gonzap either, he just wasn't into that hassle of rocking the boat so much. When the proposal was first made to ally with Cipher, Wes opposed it on grounds of it being restrictive, but Gonzap overrode his objections. This made Wes's betrayal years later baffling to Gonzap, they had swapped views. Wes says its because he felt it was too late now to turn back against Cipher, but with his talent had he not betrayed, Gonzap believes it would have been possible. Gonzap also takes criticism with Wes saying his betrayal of Cipher was partly motivated by a belated want for revenge against the destruction of Snagem, given he was to blame for it himself as well.

After his defeat Gonzap is feeling tired of the old crime business, but at the same time it maintains an allure he cannot be dissuaded from. Yet Orre is a hopeless endeavor now, it knows him too well for him to play it. Wes then says he is getting tired of Orre for the time being as well, and volunteers to look for new haunt, for himself and not Snagem he says, but he will inform Gonzap about it. Such sets the scene for the end of Snagem and Wes, seeking to venture beyond Orre, although both know they will return home some day. Eldes oversees the dismantling of Citadark Isle and the rest of Cipher's installations, and then settles into ordinary Orre life in his home city of Gateon, ever vigilant of the slightest rumor that Cipher may return. He marries with children and becomes Port Director of Gateon, monitoring all commerce in and out of it. *Insert other character endings*

 

7 hours ago, Purple Mage said:

Do you want some puto?

At first glance, I thought it was the singular or something of putti, in which case, no! That is digustingly criminal!

Just a steamed rice cake? Sure. I'm perfectly open to trying rice cakes.

 

And now for a question: Why do Mixologists have a title that sounds far cooler and scientific than their job actually is?

[Dragoncat]

@Interdimensional Observer YES The Under was the best thing ever and I was sad when XD didn't have it!

Current question: To make people want to have that job I guess?

Why won't these flies in my house just drown in the trap I made already?

[IfIHadToPickADude]

They're smarter than you think. Right now, they're building their own little atomic bomb to use on YOU!

What is the best kind of flower?

[ProfImpossible]

Tulip. But they're all great.

 

Whats it like in your neck of the woods?

[Hawkwing]

It's fine. I live right next to some woods, but I never explored it. I have noticed several deer walk through it, as well as some rabbits. We even occasionally have wild Turkey walking across the road. I actually ran over a snake by accident when riding my bike a few years back. Thought it was some piece of tire rubber, but nope! It was an actual snake, and it slithered away when I looked back.

Did you know that Red Pandas are called "Fire Foxes" in China?

[Dragoncat]

No I didn't but that's cool!

Don't you hate it when you go outside and somebody randomly throws a fridge at you?

[IfIHadToPickADude]

No, because that hasn't happened to me.

Are you sure you live in a safe place?

[ProfImpossible]

Not anymore.

 

Why am I under a couch right now?

[Hawkwing]

You gave some thought to the question you answered, analyzed your surroundings, and realized that you're not as safe as you thought you were.

That, or you're next in line to be interviewed, and are trying to find a good hiding spot.

 

Why hasn't Mister Rogers been sainted yet?

[IfIHadToPickADude]

That's a good question. We should go ask the Pope that! And bring a copy of Undertale too.

Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?

[Dragoncat]

They're all off partying on Mount Olympus.

Is there a reason the word "diet" starts with "die"?

[Interdimensional Observer]

Because it is a controlled form of starvation, during which you may or may not want to terminate yourself due to your repressed cravings not staying repressed.

Your government has forced you to work on a top-secret project, which one do you choose?

1. Pigeon-guided missiles?
2. Nuclear landmines warmed by chickens?
3. Cats with listening devices installed for spying?
4. Cat-guided aerial bombs?
5. Anti-tank dog bombs?
6. Or bats covered in napalm as living firebombs?