XRay Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 Contribute more to global warming and pay poachers for reindeer noses and elf ears. And then sea levels rose and your house is now under water. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hawkwing Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 Transform it into a houseboat. Or just buy one. You've been defenestrated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted January 7, 2019 Share Posted January 7, 2019 Redefensetrate myself. Whatever. You're walking through a crowd and all of a sudden your pants fall down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 Pull 'em back up. Good thing I wear boxers. Your friend abandoned you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 They are not a friend in the first place if they can so easily abandon you. And good riddance; you deserve someone better. And then you found out God abandoned you too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 Contradict that because God never abandons anyone. Said former friend who abandoned you is praying things against you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karimlan Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 (edited) Prayers don't necessarily translate to a roundhouse kick to the face, so pay him no attention. Leave him to his devices. Your country is held hostage by an inept dictator masquerading as a popular guy. Edited January 8, 2019 by Karimlan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 5 minutes ago, Karimlan said: Prayers don't necessarily translate to a roundhouse kick to the face, so pay him no attention. Leave him to his devices. Your country is held hostage by an inept dictator masquerading as a popular guy. Most definitely not Duterte :P Stick my head outta the mess that is known as "politics". You keep listening to sad songs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karimlan Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 1 minute ago, Purple Mage said: Most definitely not Duterte :P Â That is debatable, at best. on topic: watch sad movies or series to cancel the sadness out. Or watch Inside Out. You left a cheese enchilada in the microwave too long, and when you bit down on it, your tongue got scalded by molten-hot cheese. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 Give it to a satyr named Grover Underwood. He loves enchiladas! Your heart has been beating erratically since Sunday. It's Tuesday night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karimlan Posted January 8, 2019 Share Posted January 8, 2019 Visit the ER as you r-e-a-d my reply! Your boss in onto you with your team's flagging stats. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Blame the boss for micromanaging your team. You find poop all over your car. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigoasis Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Go to the car wash. Your spouse talks in their sleep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 I'm an unmarried minor. You keep hallucinating and dreaming of the one who abandoned you, and you can still feel their wrath. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Wrath does not matter if you can Vantage and hit them first! You lost a race against a snail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Wonder why I was in the race in the first place. Everything bad is your fault. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 It is the world's fault for giving me faults, so I am technically not at fault since I am just doing what the world wants me to do. Your fart gave someone a heart attack. Â Â Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Said someone was me, and I rest peacefully. You have an idea for an original fantasy story but you've vowed not to use the most efficient source of communication to tell it to your fellas online. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 You release your story slowly, but it turns out to be a great idea as people now have time to spread how great your story is and they wait with great anticipation for more as you slowly release it and ask for Patreon donations. You gain the ability to dream about the future, but only bad events where people are starving, drownings, being beheaded, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karimlan Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 I'll live with it. The world can always use another Cassandra. You are at a formal dinner party, and you are chatting with a good friend over starters and a few cocktails. After a few drinks, you are introduced to an acquaintance of your friend who has a prosthetic hand with only three appendages. The drinks have obviously done their work, and you blurt out, "How's it going? Gimme three!" Everyone looks at you with tense eyes as the person with the prosthetic hand has obviously just arrived, and stone cold sober. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRay Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Die of embarrassment. Actually, maybe just act even more drunk so the behavior is excusable since you are not yourself under the influence. You slapped your friend's butt really hard to mess with them, but then you realized it is a random stranger howling homophobic obscenities at you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted January 9, 2019 Share Posted January 9, 2019 Run. And don't look back. You have a sink full of dishes but no ambition to do them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dismissed Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Do them anyway to clear my mind. And my sink. You have all the Infinity Stones except the Soul Stone, which requires you to sacrifice someone you love the most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emperor_Siegfried Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Eh, five out of six ain't bad. I can do a lot of stuff with them. You have no Wi-Fi in your area and you can only reach it about 500 miles away and you have no method of transportation other than walking on foot without any shoes or socks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted January 10, 2019 Share Posted January 10, 2019 Mobile hotspot because I have unlimited data. Your microwave blew up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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