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Junkhead

Am I the only one that gets their games taken away?

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My parents used to do that but my tantrums are far worse than whatever it is they would punish me for so they stopped.

lol man, you must be pretty good at it. I threw a temper tantrum once in my life. My dad let me go, asked if I was done. I sniffed and rubbed my eyes and said yes. Then he whooped my ass. Never threw a tantrum ever again XD

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Thanks for the strawmanning!

learn the definition of a strawman, please.

This isn't about me telling samais to "stick it to his parents". This is about me giving advice to an adult whose right to privacy is being violated. I would not give the same advice to a 14 year old. We aren't talking about a situation that is new. By the sound of it, this problem has been going on for a while, and samias has tried communicating. If someone refuses to respect an adult's right to privacy, then other actions must be taken.

if samias has to live at home with her mother, being belligerent is not going to get across the point that she wants more privacy. it's far more likely that this would lead to further breakdown of communication than it will lead to her mother "getting it" and leaving her alone.

The last comment is unnecessary and ad hominem.

no it's not; look up the definition of ad hominem. i'm not rejecting your argument based on a fact about you. i was pointing out how stupid your assumption was that i thought samias was spoiled when 1) i didn't quote any part of her post and 2) i made it after two other users made posts with terrible suggestions.

lol man, you must be pretty good at it. I threw a temper tantrum once in my life. My dad let me go, asked if I was done. I sniffed and rubbed my eyes and said yes. Then he whooped my ass. Never threw a tantrum ever again XD

if a child can wield this sort of power over a parent, then it's a sign of bad parenting.

Edited by dondon151

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My parents used to do that but my tantrums are far worse than whatever it is they would punish me for so they stopped.

Your parents did it wrong.

lol man, you must be pretty good at it. I threw a temper tantrum once in my life. My dad let me go, asked if I was done. I sniffed and rubbed my eyes and said yes. Then he whooped my ass. Never threw a tantrum ever again XD

Your father did it right.

That reminds me: I was told about a time when I was a young kid, maybe about 5 or 6 years old. I do not remember this happening, but my Nan said I had a tantrum in a shop after I saw a toy I wanted and my Nan refused to let me have it. She belted me hard across the ass (read: slapped) and I shut up, and never again threw another tantrum.

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learn the definition of a strawman, please.

It's when you put stuff some old clothes with straw and hang it out in your farm to keep the crows away, right? XD

if a child can wield this sort of power over a parent, then it's a sign of bad parenting.

Yeah. And judging by a lot of posts in this thread I can see how the special-little-snowflake mentality has affected the generation directly below mine and earlier.

Guys, your parents taking your video games away as a form of punishment is, like, not that big of a deal. If you find yourself brooding and getting pissed because you don't have access to the internet or can't play a game then you should be happy that those are your issues.

I used to get grounded form everything. Lunch detention? Sit on my bed in my room, not allowed to read, not allowed to play with toys, no video games, nothing. For anywhere from a day to one time a whole month. This was light punishment, too, but effective. I never cursed my dad for taking something I enjoyed away because I did something wrong. I tried to not do the shit that was bad again.

People can have overbearing parents or strict parents, sure, but a lot of the time it's really cause they love you. Remember that they don't know what it's like, for the most part, to be in a culture where video games are a huge thing. They played in the yard and smoked cigarettes by the train tracks or whatever and made up games with a stick and a ball to have fun. You should be able to see that video games to them are kind of a waste of time.

I'm not trying to criticize, as much as it sounds like I am, I just want everyone to think a little bit and try and give you some perspective. :)

EDIT: to avoid double post

That reminds me: I was told about a time when I was a young kid, maybe about 5 or 6 years old. I do not remember this happening, but my Nan said I had a tantrum in a shop after I saw a toy I wanted and my Nan refused to let me have it. She belted me hard across the ass (read: slapped) and I shut up, and never again threw another tantrum.

Yeah these kind of things stick with you, and it doesn't take much. I remember a story from when I was a little kid. It's stupid but it provided the foundation for appreciating things, even the little ones.

My dad used to stop at the convenience store at night and would always ask me if I wanted gummy worms. Then we'd do this thing where I'd try and haggle with him for always one more gummy worm than he offered.

"So you want 3 or 4 gummy worms?"

"3, no 4! Wait 5!!!"

"Okay 4 it is."

"Nuuu wait! 5!"

*Dad goes in the store*

*comes back out with some gummy worms*

*i look at em, there's only 4*

"Dad, I said I wanted 5!!!!!!"

*Dad takes away my gummy worms*

"Welp, now you get none. Ever again."

I never got another damn gummy worm from that place :(

Edited by jiodi

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Nope, haven't lived with my parents since my 17th birthday and even when I did, I never had my games taken away.

How do you support yourself? I'm very curious and that's very admirable of you.

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jiac may understand your feelings.

JIAC!!

COME HERE!!

O.o

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My father has at several points taken my computer away when he was throwing one of his tantrums.

He always thought getting me away from my computer would solve all of my issues, which is complete nonsense from a logical and therapeutic.

Just to pre-empt anyone overthinking - while parents generally act in your interest, this is nothing but a generalized statement. They lose themselves in a moment of anger all the same as you do. And that's the moment they start doing things they (should) regret.

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My father has at several points taken my computer away when he was throwing one of his tantrums.

He always thought getting me away from my computer would solve all of my issues, which is complete nonsense from a logical and therapeutic.

Just to pre-empt anyone overthinking - while parents generally act in your interest, this is nothing but a generalized statement. They lose themselves in a moment of anger all the same as you do. And that's the moment they start doing things they (should) regret.

I try to err on the side of compassion when it comes to my parents. They have to be the pillars of common sense and good role models. There were sometimes where my dad was a bit irrational but he always apologized for it. The first time I ever beat him at a game he grounded me.

5 minutes later he called me out from my room and said that being an adult means knowing when you're acting silly and wrong, apologized to me, then said he was never gonna play chess with me again, though XD

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I try to err on the side of compassion when it comes to my parents. They have to be the pillars of common sense and good role models. There were sometimes where my dad was a bit irrational but he always apologized for it. The first time I ever beat him at a game he grounded me.

5 minutes later he called me out from my room and said that being an adult means knowing when you're acting silly and wrong, apologized to me, then said he was never gonna play chess with me again, though XD

your dad sounds like a cool guy. a really, really sore loser, though.

Edited by Phoenix Wright

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Have you ever played Monopoly with him? Seriously, everyone who's losing has a bad time with that game.

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i haven't played in years for that reason.

a few years ago, my environmental science teacher brought in her son to play "earthopoly" with us when the school year was ending. (the ap exam had long passed and there was no more material to be taught.)

there were 4 of us. two friends, myself, and her son. he was doing pretty well, as was one of my friends. but with time, he began to destroy us with a larger and larger gap. we decided to team up on him. as long as he lost, we would be happy. he still won. we were (playfully) angry.

he was 10 or something.

i hate that damn game. haha

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I tend to be the guy who wins, so people don't like playing it with me. I'm fine with it, honestly, don't even like it that much.

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Haha I get where he was coming from, though. My little brother is inherently better than me at video games. Whenever he would beat me at a game I would go absolutely fucking nuts with rage.

It's not really about being a sore loser so much as not accepting that after a while your kid/younger brother/whoever is gonna start beating you at something. My dad had readily admitted that and when I cooled down after my brother kept beating me at SSB with Pikachu I said the same thing to him ^_^.

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Replying to the OP:

Whenever my mom and dad get mad at me, they say they are going to take away my computer for about a week.

Of course, I get on it the next day and they don't care.

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Try the Disappointed Compounded With Mild Anger Dad Face when us kids would kick his ass in NES' Golf. hue

and has frequently tried to trash my library of books.

Im sorry, but this is just plain barbaric. No matter what happened between me and my parents, things getting taken away, punishments, whatever, my parents never destroyed the things i used to learn, like books. Destroying a person's books is...a level of vile and low that is inexcusable. Samias, ill personally buy you new books if such a thing occurs again.

it always amazes me how easily dondon can get a rise out of people here

It always amazes me that he thinks he knows what hes talking about.

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He always thought getting me away from my computer would solve all of my issues, which is complete nonsense from a logical and therapeutic.

Just to pre-empt anyone overthinking - while parents generally act in your interest, this is nothing but a generalized statement. They lose themselves in a moment of anger all the same as you do. And that's the moment they start doing things they (should) regret.

this is the reason why i think that the confucian idea of filial piety is not always a good standard. parents do get caught in illogical ways of thinking, and they should be receptive when their children point this out. but one should still listen to his parents.

It always amazes me that he thinks he knows what hes talking about.

i do know what i'm talking about. if you disagree, point out why i'm wrong.

also, monopoly is a terrible board game. it's unfortunate that the canonical leisurely board game for most americans is monopoly instead of any of the other much better board games out there.

Edited by dondon151

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I definitely could have been a better kid, but my mom does need to mind her own business now. It was a minor punishment when I was young since I always found other things to do, but still very upsetting. When you're an adult who is being nagged at 100% of the time, being treated like I'm 12 gets really old. Not to mention it's not just games, but also my books and drawing materials. I get nagged at for sorting my laundry differently from her even though I do my own laundry. I also get the "everyone thinks you're fat" comments every day, even when we're out in public, in front of my friends, etc. I got called lazy and a do-nothing when I used to go to my university classes and labs for 12+ hours a day, 7 days a week. It's stressful and honestly the only solution is not to get a lock on my door, but to move out entirely. If I didn't have my dad and my fiance, I'm not sure I would have pulled through all these years. Actually I don't even dare bring up getting married because my mom nitpicks about my fiance all the time. She has said ONE good thing about him in the 8 years we've been together, and that's because he's lost a lot of weight over the years. When we first started dating, my mom literally wrote him a letter telling him to go away, and then she signed it and also forged my dad's signature. And on the opposite side of the spectrum, she tries to out-doctor my doctor sister. There's no winning in this family, just facepalming.

My mom isn't a terrible person. She paid for my sister and my education and she wants us to do well. She only grates on me mentally and does a lot of things that drives me crazy, because her idea of me doing well is to perfectly emulate what she's done in her life. The stress sucks, the depression I feel sometimes is crippling, but there's a way out. I just need to put in the work to get there. I just get really, really prickly about being micromanaged, especially when my mom does her typical thing and assumes she always knows what's best.

The other solution is to MOVE OUT. My parents were strict, but they didn't pull any of this.

Now, back on topic.

No, having your games taken away isn't "too strict", in the sense that it's entertainment, and optional. While you're a minor, your parents are obligated to keep you fed, healthy and sheltered. Video games fall under none of those categories.

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also, monopoly is a terrible board game. it's unfortunate that the canonical leisurely board game for most americans is monopoly instead of any of the other much better board games out there.

On that note, everyone needs to play Ticket to Ride at least once in their life. Someone should make a board games topic.

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I punished myself, when I was 12.

I was bad at school and threatened not to pass the exams. I swored to myself to concentrate more to the school. So I sold my N64 with all the games. I hold my promise and I didn't play any videogames till I got my graduation. It were almost 8 years...

I gave me a kick in the ass, but that worked well!

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No, having your games taken away isn't "too strict", in the sense that it's entertainment, and optional.

Entertainment isn't optional at all. Taking away someone's entertainment is no different than a form of torture in extreme cases.

http://exopermaculture.com/2012/08/10/what-solitary-confinement-looks-and-feels-like-in-the-u-s-prison-system/

The unrelieved boredom of these units and the lack of any live contact drives many inmates to create any opportunity for interaction with anybody at all. Common examples are phantom or self-inflicted injuries that give them a chance to have contact with medical staff, who may be incompetent and totally indifferent but at least are arguably human. An extreme example, all too common, is creating a situation requiring “cell extraction,” which is breaking a rule in seg and then refusing to submit to the consequences.

lol man, you must be pretty good at it. I threw a temper tantrum once in my life. My dad let me go, asked if I was done. I sniffed and rubbed my eyes and said yes. Then he whooped my ass. Never threw a tantrum ever again XD

you're dad sounds like a cool guy. a really, really sore loser, though.

Apparently, child abuse is totally cool on this forum. If anything, your dad probably belonged in prison at the time, depending on how severely he beat you.

Edited by Chiki

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not really. i only used to spend an important amount of time on videogames when i was a child, and occasionally they would take them away from me, but soon realised it wasn't effective. i'd just find something else to put my mind to. i don't think i would get too mad about it, because, i mean, whatever.

in general punishing a child by taking away some form of entertainment he values isn't good parenting, but it's also not fuck-awful parenting. it's understandable, a common practice, and at worst can make a child throw a tantrum. of course, there's logical extremes.

Edited by fuccboi

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Apparently, child abuse is totally cool on this forum. If anything, your dad probably belonged in prison at the time, depending on how severely he beat you.

everyone makes mistakes when typing. thanks for pointing mine out, though.

"whooped my ass" usually translates to "smacked my butt," not that it matters, aside from pointing out that is wasn't a "beating."

i don't blame people for making excusable mistakes, personally. i'm not sure how many children you've been around, but sometimes their behavior is unbelievably awful--i can understand that some parents lose their temper sometimes. i wouldn't go so far as to say a mild spanking, although scientifically proven to be an unproductive parenting technique, is child abuse.

now, of course if jiodi had been beat into the fucking dirt, i'd feel differently. but i interpreted "whooped my ass" as "a mild spanking."

Edited by Phoenix Wright

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Apparently, child abuse is totally cool on this forum. If anything, your dad probably belonged in prison at the time, depending on how severely he beat you.

Nah, he didn't lock me in a closet or punch me in the face or anything. "Whooped my ass" meant a solid spanking. No wooden spoons or anything like that. And it only ever happened three times in my life, haha.

I didn't get punished often, but when I did I remembered it. His parenting style for me was mostly to guide me and teach me stuff and let me figure out the consequences myself. When I would do poorly in school or do something really bad I would get punished.

I think the difference here is that when I got my shit taken away or got stuck sitting on my bed for a couple days I knew why I was being punished. It never felt unfair to me cause my dad would always sit me down, talk to me about what I did wrong and let me know what kind of punishment I would have to deal with.

So when people here are saying their parents are acting crazy then I can understand the sense of frustration, especially if they aren't communicating what the issue is. What is an unknown unknown, however, is whether or not the children who think their parents are acting crazy are just not actually getting the message for whatever reason. /shrug

I guess it matters more who the kid is and who the parents are and what works best in that relationship.

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Entertainment isn't optional at all. Taking away someone's entertainment is no different than a form of torture in extreme cases.

Apparently, child abuse is totally cool on this forum. If anything, your dad probably belonged in prison at the time, depending on how severely he beat you.

yeah, i guess the only moral way to discipline a child is to explain to him in a logical manner why what he did was wrong, and make him promise that he'll never do it again. it's guaranteed to be effective, because children are dumb and don't know how to get what they want.

the sarcasm is intended. i'm not opposed to spanking, but physical abuse of pretty much any other kind is not something that i would condone.

Edited by dondon151

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My experience with children is that spanking them is still more than is needed to effectively discipline them, aside from whether I think it's right or wrong. Children look to their parents and people whose judgment they seem to respect a lot, and just showing your disappointment or light punishment like setting them in the corner for a couple minutes is when you know they've been trying to piss you off is in my experience highly effective.

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