Fates Fanfiction Central (Spoilers)

[UNLEASH IT]

So smut is allowed then. I was seeing quite a few links to archiveofourown (which is basically smut central) so I was just wondering

[Thane]

Fresh off the presses, a new support. I thought it would be neat if Selkie had a personality so I gave her one

I love you, man.

[UNLEASH IT]

Fresh off the presses, a new support. I thought it would be neat if Selkie had a personality so I gave her one!

Well, I wouldn't say that she has no personality. It's just that her entire personality is *frolic*

[eclipse]

So smut is allowed then. I was seeing quite a few links to archiveofourown (which is basically smut central) so I was just wondering

You can thank Yours Truly for not really caring about this topic until recently. However, I don't feel like going back and warning everyone and everything, sooo. . .

I'll leave it up to the writers to determine just how far it goes, BUT anything that's above PG-13 MUST indicate it. Furthermore, if it goes overboard (as in, I get people bugging me about it), it gets taken down. I trust you guys not to push it.

[NekoKnight]

I finally finished this support. I'm a bit anxious and embarrassed to post it. Please point out any grammatical errors and please critique this. I went vanilla with some Mamui x Jakob.

[spoiler=Notes Before Reading Support]*Canicus/Kagutsuchi are the names of my head!canon MU.

*Muspelheim refers to the MU personal weapon. It is a Flame Lance.

*Joker/Jakob is not a servant. He is still an aristocrat.

*Dialogue has been color coded for ease.

*I extended the length of the support by making the A+ Rank have a proper support. All supports—same sex or opposite sex—will likely have an A+ Rank to wrap things up, for lack of better words.

[spoiler=Mamui x Joker C-A+]Rank C

Canicus: Joker, I would like to play a game.

Joker: Very well, milord. What will it be? Chess? Hazard? Merelles?

Canicus: Don't be coy, Joker. You know what game.

Joker: I see. Shall I retrieve the cards, then?

Canicus: No, I have them here.

Joker: I see you come prepared. Eager for another lesson in losing Klaberjass?

Canicus: Don't forget your place, Joker. There is only so much taunting I can take before igniting.

Joker: You do indeed have a way with fire—I would rather not return to ashes and dust just yet.

Canicus: Good. Then I suggest you shut your mouth and deal the cards.

Joker: But of course, milord.

Canicus: Blast it all! This is the—

Joker: Fifty-fourth.

Canicus: —fifty-fourth time I have lost to you at this damnable game! What am I doing wrong!? Tell me!

Joker: Klaberjass is a game requiring a fine strategic balance of technical skill, luck, reading the opponent, taking inferences and bluffing. To be blunt, milord, you are lacking several of those elements—particularly in reading emotions and hiding your own.

Canicus: ... ... ...

Joker: I have several exercises and written guides that guarantee a poker face that rivals even that of Beruka. I suggest you study them or you will never beat me—and I doubt you would want to lose a fifty-fifth time.

Canicus: ... ... ...

Joker: Lord Canicus?

Joker: What is that smo—? Ah, milord! You're burning a hole through the table!

Joker: M-milord, what are you doing? Why are you brandishing Muspelheim?

Joker: Ahem. I believe I shall leave you to, uh, cool down. By your leave...

Canicus: To the training field. Now.

Joker: ...Oh dear.

Rank B

Canicus: Joker.

Joker: Ah, good evening, milord. What brings you here so late?

Canicus: Those burns...

Joker: These? Well, you did this. They are but minor burns, however. I am quite resistant; I have to be or I would be unfit to be your retainer.

Canicus: ... ... ...

Joker: Do not make that face, milord. See? This is the reason you have yet to win a game of Klaberjass against me.

Canicus: ...Your taunting makes it difficult to be remorseful, Joker. *sigh* Your words, however... They do have a grain of truth to them.

Joker: Is that so? I take it you have decided to undergo my lessons, then?

Canicus: I never said that.

Joker: Then, you resign yourself to lose to me eternally?

Canicus: No. Instead... tell me how you came to be so skilled at hiding behind a poker face.

Joker: There is little to tell, milord. We come from similar upbringings—one where power is the most coveted commodity.

Joker: Whereas martial prowess is emphasized in your world, monetary prowess and interpersonal connections are the key to mine.

Joker: Detachment and suppression comes naturally when schmoozing blue bloods; wearing your emotions on your sleeves formed cracks and allowed competitors to seep into them.

Canicus: You tell me this, as if none of it applies to me.

Joker: Oh, it does—but to a much lesser scale. Tell the truth, milord. How much of your time in Castle Krakenburg has been spent licking the boots of another?

Canicus: ... ... ...

Joker: How much of your life has been planned since the moment you first drew breath?

Joker: Have you ever spent sleepless nights studying science and literature simply to impress the obese wife of a baron?

Joker: Have you ever been forever bound to another, not out of love, but to secure the money and lineage of families that will more than likely go broke when an imbecile inevitably becomes leader?

Canicus: Joker...

Joker: You have an advantage over me than can never be overcome, no matter what I do. You have the power and place in society that makes you a player.

Joker: I, on the other hand, was destined to be little more than a game piece to be played since the moment of my conception. I learned my place early.

Joker: To be an effective pawn, it requires that one realizes how they feel in any given moment is irrelevant. In the grand scheme, they are but dominos meant to be toppled over.

Joker: I merely apply such logic to my strategies of any game that I play—and I win them without issue.

Canicus: ... ... ...

Joker: Now then, shall I retrieve the necessary supplies for my regime? I doubt my spiel did any in assisting your play style.

Canicus: *leaves*

Joker: Lord Canicus!? Where are you going!?

Joker: Hm. Such a pained expression on his face. Was it something that I said...?

Rank A

Joker: Lord Canicus? Are you well? You seem a bit out of sorts lately. There have not been any mentions of you setting fire to Lord Leo's cloaks or Lady Camilla's satin sheets this past week.

Canicus: Oh...?

Joker: Milord?

Canicus: Joker, do you remember what you told me the other evening? When you were dressing your wounds?

Joker: Somewhat. Is there something in particular?

Canicus: You told me that, in this world, I was born a player and that you were born a pawn.

Joker: Ah, that. I apologize if my words upset you—I was not criticizing you or showing rancor. I was merely telling truths.

Canicus: And yet, you were not.

Joker: ...Pardon?

Canicus: You seem to have a rather romanticized view of my life, Joker. You call yourself a pawn—but, in reality, I am one as well.

Joker: Why would you ever think that, milord? You are a prince of Nohr! One of the strongest and most talented! If I could be only a fraction of what you are, I—!

Joker: ... ... ...

Joker: Forgive me, Lord Canicus. I spoke out of turn.

Canicus: You know, Joker...

Canicus: I haven't always been strong. Nor have I always been a prince of Nohr.

Canicus: And I haven't always been the son of King Garon.

Joker: Huh?

Canicus: It may come as a surprise to you but I was once a prince of Hoshido.

Joker: WHAT!?

Canicus: I was taken as a young child and imprisoned within Castle Krakenburg as a political hostage.

Canicus: During that time, I...I cried until I fell ill. I cried for my mother. For my father. For my brother and sister. For anyone to come save me.

Canicus: But none came to my rescue.

Joker: Lord Canicus...

Canicus: Father didn't lie when he told me of the circumstances. While I hated him for kidnapping me, I still listened to his words, for my sorrow had since then turned to burning rage for those that had abandoned me.

Canicus: He took me for a simple reason: to shame King Sumeragi and prove his superiority over his eternal rival.

Canicus: Father then posed a question. He asked, "Do you hate me for snatching you away or do you hate your father more for leaving you to die?"

Joker: ... ... ...

Canicus: At first, I thought it was a trick question. I thought he would kill me if I told him I hated him. I answered with what I thought he wanted to hear—and, honestly, it was how I felt at the moment.

Canicus: He laughed, loud and booming, as he placed a hand on my head. "Very well. You are my child. No longer shall you be son of Sumeragi. Today, you are the son of Garon. Today, you are Canicus."

Joker: Milord...

Canicus: Do you know how the heir to the throne is chosen in Nohr, Joker?

Joker: ...I am sure you will tell me, milord.

Canicus: Heh. Yes, I will.

Canicus: The king and queen give birth to a child, the high prince or princess. They will inherit the throne, unless certain...happenstance...occurs.

Canicus: The king will then take on several concubines over the years. In the history of our fifteen kings, no more than fifty concubines have been taken at a time but there have been no less than twenty. He will then lie with them all, fathering as many offspring as possible.

Canicus: From there, the games begin.

Joker: ...Oh dear...

Canicus: The princes and princesses are pitted against each other, encouraged by both Father—who is eager to have the most capable take his place as ruler—and the mothers, who are more concerned with rising from their stations than their own children's lives. There is no limit to how far one can go or who one can kill. Not even the high prince or princess is safe from assassination.

Canicus: The court erupted when Father announced me as his son. I was the unknown element—I could make or break someone's future.

Canicus: My first day as a prince of Nohr, I had several women doting over me. Childless women, I know now. For a fleeting moment, I felt warmth and kindness.

Canicus: My first night as a prince of Nohr, I had a girl straddling me, ready to plunge a dagger into my skull. From that moment onward, I have felt only bitter loneliness.

Joker: Lord Canicus... Please stop. You don't have to... You don't have to continue, milord.

Canicus: ...I was not meant to come this far; Father didn't expect me to exceed his expectations. He claimed me as his son but he assumed I would perish to one of his demented brood.

Canicus: It was a win-win for him, regardless of what happened.

Joker: ... ... ...

Joker: ...Why have you not attempted to return to Hoshido, milord? You are more than strong enough. And I am sure that your family misses you, their prince.

Canicus: If I were truly loved and missed, why have I still been in Nohr for the past fifteen years?

Canicus: ...Besides... Would you follow if I were to leave?

Joker: ...! I-I...

Canicus: ... ... ...

Canicus: ...That was stupid of me. Forget I ever asked. *leaves*

Joker: ... ... ...

Joker: ...I'm sorry, milord.

Rank A+

Joker: Lord Canicus.

Canicus: Joker.

Joker: ... ... ...

Canicus: Wha—!? Get off the dirty floor! What are doing!?

Joker: Groveling at your feet for your forgiveness, milord.

Canicus: Joker, what—?

Joker: As I listened to you that day, when you spilled your heart to me, I realized I was wrong. So very wrong.

Joker: ...I was both ignorant and arrogant in my thinking. I criticized your ability to read others, but it was I that was lacking. I insulted you, fueled by the anger at my lot in life. As well as...envy. Of you.

Canicus: Envy...?

Joker: Yes. Envy.

Joker: I watch you stand strong and proud as you go out into the world. I gaze at you on the battlefield and the mere glimpse of you and Muspelhiem causes enemies to quake in terror. I see you snap your fingers and all you could ever want is placed before you without a question.

Joker: ...I saw you free from the chains of fate that tie me down.

Joker: When you first approached me with offer to be your retainer, I told you my name was "Joker." I chose this name because I wanted to be just that—a "wild card" that was not restricted by the roles forced upon me.

Canicus: Joker...

Joker: But, you are not free, milord. I was wrong. I was blind to your suffering. We are both slaves in this world just the same—and it was because of how well-crafted your poker face that I only just realized.

Joker: For my inadequacies, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. And, from this moment onward, I wish to rededicate myself to being your faithful retainer, willing to walk into the very fires of hell. Just for you.

Canicus: ... ... ... *sniff* ... ... ...

Joker: Milord!? Are you cr—!?

Canicus: Don't look at me.

Canicus: ... ... ... *sniff* ... ... ...

Jakob: ... ... ...

Canicus: Get up.

Joker: ...Milord?

Canicus: Get. Up.

Joker: Ack! Careful with the lapels, milord! They take time to iron each morning!

Canicus: Your name.

Joker: W-what, milord?

Canicus: Tell me your name.

Joker: Ah, that is... My name... It is Jakob.

Canicus: Jakob, then.

Canicus: ... ... ...

Canicus: Thank you, Joker. For your sincerity and devotion as my retainer. I could not ask for more.

Jakob: Milord...

Canicus: ...And, Jakob... My name is...Kagutsuchi. It is...nice to meet you.

Joker: Milord...!? That—!

Canicus: I hope that you and I, Jakob, can become close friends. Please...take care of me.

Joker: ...To the best of my abilities. Kagutsuchi...

Speaking of supports, Thane, NekoKnight, I thought both of your supports were really good.

...I would say more but my brain hurts from typing and editing all of that in the spoiler tags.

tfw Senpai notices you.

Canicus is a real hot-head isn't he? I liked the support but I am curious about how well known Canius' heritage is. If it's announced to Joker in a support, then is it never revealed to others in game?

So smut is allowed then. I was seeing quite a few links to archiveofourown (which is basically smut central) so I was just wondering

It's okay but most of the stuff people have been writing is reasonably PG. I won't tell you what to write or not write, however.

Well, I wouldn't say that she has no personality. It's just that her entire personality is *frolic*

Yeah, I was being facetious about her lack of personality. I just found her default personality a real waste her character. Nothing will fix her NA!voice.

[Ebony]

Been thinking of more stuff for Valla. Namely how it is currently after its been basically outlawed/frowned upon to even mention it.

I was tihnking something similar to Atlantis - it "fell" into the Bottomless Canyon. By that I mean Anakos basically drug it down there to basically preserve it, taking the survivors with him.

Not that Anakos is bad. He thinks he's genuinely doing good, it's just... his morality =/= our morality.

But as the time wore away and the effects of his magic/being took over, I was also debating on turning it into Yharnam a place with strange geometries/eldritch location. Not entirely in a "entire place is out to kill you" way but like an MC Escher type location.

[saisymbolic]

tfw Senpai notices you.

Canicus is a real hot-head isn't he? I liked the support but I am curious about how well known Canius' heritage is. If it's announced to Joker in a support, then is it never revealed to others in game?

Senpai! My efforts have reached you!

Yeah, I went with the cliched hot-head fire affinity character. I totally was not thinking about Rinkah.

His heritage is not well-known outside of the palace walls. It stems from the general populace being too absorbed in their own worlds; they're focused on their own survival and place in society. People within the castle don't care whether he is from Hoshido or not, either, for similar reasons. Garon introduced him as his son and they accepted it because Garon has many children. What is another one added to the bunch? He can also use Dragon Veins, which further pushes the notion that he belongs to Garon. It was going to come in more details in supports with the siblings.

[Roflolxp54]

Silly idea due to Corrin being a playable character in Super Smash Bros. (largely follows Revelation):

Corrin knows for a fact that he'll antagonize both Hoshido and Nohr for choosing neither side. He joins the Smash fighter roster in hopes of recruiting members of the Smash Bros. cast to help him with his cause (since a party of himself, Felicia, and Azura =/= an army) in addition to receiving training and experience in case he has to fight his royal siblings. Some Smash fighters choose to join him since they genuinely want to help him (like the other Fire Emblem fighters) while other Smash fighters choose to join him because of having their own agendas (like Bowser and Ganondorf).

Edited May 9, 2016 by Roflolxp54

[-Ruby-]

Hey guys. I don't have a fanfic idea, but I do have thoughts on Fates' story structure. I hope this is the right place to post. I didn't read all 13 pages of this thread, so I apologize for any redundancies that have already been brought up, or if what I'm saying doesn't quite fit in with the purpose of the thread.

Fates' story is frustratingly bad. I think it has a whole of lot of really cool ideas, but they're not built on each other in a way that has as much emotional weight as they could. If we took a broad look at what the game wants to be, found the bare essentials, and rebuilt the story again focused on these essentials, I think the game would be a lot more cool.

One of the big reasons I was frustrated by this game's story is because it simply does not live up to the hype of its marketing. So my goal is to figure out how to restructure the game so that it is just as dramatic and exciting as it looks like it should be.

What does the game emphasize as things it wants to be important? What elements does it sell as awesome? What ideas are planted in your head about what this game is going to be, before you've booted it up and started playing?

Azura's song. Corrin's dragon form. Azura dancing. Valla. Love and war between nations. A greater force controlling it all. A terrible, enormous secret, which the fate of the universe depends upon. And biggest of all, the idea of Corrin making an enormously important choice that affects the entire world.

I think these things sound amazing. This is the game Fates wants to be. This is the game I wanted to play. But Fates isn't this. How can we structure the story so that it's built around these awesome things? Rather than the current story, which like.. brings these cool things up, but then doesn't go anywhere with them.

[spoiler=Revelations discussion]

The "greater force happening that controls it all" is revealed in Revelations. When the player plays through Revelations, they are supposed to feel wowed by all the secrets. These elements influence Conquest and Birthright, but the story's success ultimately rides on Revelations. This is the awesome story at its core. So I will start my thoughts here.

Revelations promised in its opening sequence a couple of things it wanted to be important: Valla, the tunnel housing Anankos, and Corrin holding Azura under the water. In fact, Corrin holds Azura under the water for a solid 15 seconds. When I saw this opening, I thought for sure that meant that the ultimate conflict would be between Corrin and Azura; surely something incredible would happen between those two to devote that much time to that one scene in the opening. Of course, that didn't happen. I thought its actual climax was pretty boring.

But an emotional conflict between Corrin and Azura? That's hella dramatic. So for the drama it sells with its own opening sequence, Revelations needs to ultimately be about Corrin and Azura's relationship. This tells me that Azura's character needs to be significantly more important than she is. In fact, she needs to be equally as important as protagonist Corrin. In the current Revelations, she doesn't do too much. She arbitrarily reveals the secret of Valla, and then kind of sits back as Corrin does the nonsensical legwork of recruiting everyone to help. The plot pretends she's important, but she isn't really. Her song doesn't do anything past chapter 5. She brings us to Valla and then she's basically done. The stuff with Arete was trying to make her cool and relevant again, but it... didn't really work.

So what would make Azura more awesome? She's marketed as the "mysterious songstress" character. In the game's official art, she looks like some kind of arbiter of fate. Like a judge. Her position on the box art makes her look mysteriously, directly involved in Corrin's choice of fate. I think we need to amp up her mystery and plot significance. I think that'd make her way more cool than having a dead-ghost-mother subplot.

Past "mysterious lady" fire emblem characters have been pretty awesome, in my opinion. Dierdre was mysterious, and was kidnapped and brainwashed before we really knew what she was. That was dramatic. That was emotional. Ninian was mysterious, and was killed at one point. That was pretty cool too. Azura is clearly this same archetype. How can we make her just as cool? She's built up as having an enormous secret. Secrets are pretty cool, and they certainly add to her mystery. You're always wondering what her agenda is, how much she knows. That's awesome. But honestly, her secret about Valla was pretty lackluster. To be just as mysterious and otherworldly as Dierdre or Ninian, she needs an even bigger secret than that. Something so enormous that it changes everything. What could this secret be, and what could happen with her in the second half of the game to make Corrin hold her under the water like that? How could we make a big reveal that makes the player go "woooaaaah"?

Maybe she's kidnapped, or brainwashed, like past "mysterious songstress" characters. And at the end of the game, you meet her on the battlefield, like Julia in fe4. That's pretty dramatic. Or what if she was the mastermind behind the plot? What if she betrayed you at the very end? Or you betrayed her? Maybe her morality and yours are both grey, and there is a major disagreement right on the eve of changing the world? Or what if she's some kind of messenger of the gods, guiding you on the right path, like Levin? Is she the villain? Is she the hero? Are you the villain?

Whatever it is, her secret must be big, deadly, and directly have to do with Corrin's choices. Her song and her dance in the theater are super cool, and to be relevant they must be critical to enacting her plans. And Corrin is probably integral to her goals because of his dragon form. That's probably the big secret--something about Corrin's dragon form, and the enemies she wants Corrin to slay with it, and what will happen when that happens. I think the idea of Azura really being more in control than you think she is sounds like an awesome secret for her to keep. It's always awesome to learn something about someone that gives you a completely different perspective on who they are. Like, I loved the Soren reveal at the end of fe10. Something like that.

So that brings us to Valla. I think the idea of Valla is really cool: a breathtakingly beautiful alternate world, with floating islands and mysterious spiritual forces you don't understand. That's rad. But the current backstory of Valla is pretty dumb. It needs to have more weight, and what we do there needs to explicitly have heavy consequences. Rather than it being some kind of invisible kingdom (which is just.. dumb), what if it were like something like... the realm of the gods? It influences the normal world in a greater way than we can imagine, because spiritual forces reside there that control the world? That's the kind of epic vibe the game feels like it wants Valla to be. A dangerous place whose beings are powerful and difficult to understand.

So Azura bringing Corrin there has to do with the plans she wants accomplished. What could she want to happen there? Does she want Corrin to slay a god? Is Azura righteous for doing this? Is she the villain? The huge, universe-changing thing she wants Corrin to do there must be something that creates a disagreement between them. And have to do with Corrin's dragon form. And that is why we had 15 seconds of draconic Corrin holding Azura under the water in the opening sequence. That is the climax.

Corrin's dragon form, Azura's song and necklace, and their relationship should be the most important thing to support the game's whole theme of Corrin's choices. Revelations is the path where we finally learn the truth. That means that in this path, Corrin probably does what Azura wants him to do, so all her secrets come tumbling out. This is the choice that furthers her goals, her involvement.

Do away with the nonsense about Garon and Arete and the slime monster and the curse. Just make the story about two countries at war, Azura who has a plan to change the fate of the world, and Corrin who is instrumental to her. A grand, terrible plan, a magic island world, and uncontrollable dragon powers.

Trim the fat. Amp up the importance of her singing a song about fate. It must be made explicit how it affects Corrin's dragon form. How much control does she have over him? A lot? Is that why he's holding her under the water in the climax, because he's betraying her control? Punishing her, maybe?

I don't have answers to these ideas yet. But I think, in general, structuring the story this way would be a lot more romantic, emotional, and interesting than the game currently is. Revelations tries to tie up plot threads with nonsense: something about a kingdom nobody's heard of and no one can talk about, and a dead mother, and a terribly nonsensical family tree, and things that seem like they should be important but ultimately aren't. Do away with the nonsense. Start from the bones, and then fill in the necessary supporting details. Based on its own marketing and cinematics, this seems like the game that Revelations wants to be.

[spoiler=Conquest/Birthright discussion]
So how does this big plot affect Conquest and Birthright? The game clearly wants to hint at secrets in Conquest/Birthright, so that the player pays more money to find out the answers to the secrets in Revelations. The way the game currently is structured, the secrets revealed in Revelations are lame, and the plot is anticlimactic. It isn't really worth the money. So how can we rewrite these two games so that they are awesome on their own, but playing Revelations makes them more awesome? How do we make that feeling of "woooaahhh" when the player finally finds out the big, world-changing secret in Revelations?

I think it has to come down to Azura's relationship with Corrin, and how Corrin's choice affects her plans. Why did her grand plot not play out if Corrin chose to participate in the war? Why did she keep her secrets in these paths? Why did the events of Revelations only happen when Corrin chose neither side?

The opening sequences of Conquest/Birthright still emphasize Valla, and Corrin holding Azura under the water, but to a lesser amount. So some of that "grand plot" still needs to leak through, but not much. Some major disagreement between Corrin and Azura still needs to happen. Perhaps one that hints just enough to tell players she's up to something, but not enough to spill the secrets. The way the games actually handled this is done poorly, in my opinion. I remember in Conquest, you're transported to Valla for one chapter, only to escape immediately and Azura tells you nothing. It was dumb. It was lame. We were left hanging, and nobody brought it up again or thought to explain it. How could that have been handled better? In my opinion, it could be handled better by revealing a small part of the secret during the climax. Similar to my proposed idea for Revelations, if we make Azura become super important in the climax--such as, maybe she betrays you, or she fights you somehow, and it has to do with her role in the fate of the world--and then resolve what Corrin decides to do with her and her secrets, I think that is way more awesome. If we make the final climax hinge on the fact that Azura has secrets, then it is much more cool and interesting that she has secrets. And we don't get the "she knows something, but you just don't get to know what it is" nonsense that the games currently pull.

Conquest and Birthright are for playing out the grey-grey morality war, and tying Corrin's role in the war to the fate of the universe, and then revealing that a greater force is at work and it all comes back to Azura and her secrets, and then having conflict between Corrin and Azura--and then taking care of her before all her secrets are revealed, because Corrin decided to do this path instead of Revelations. So the war has to influence the fact that we don't learn all of her secrets, somehow. Maybe we learn all her secrets in Revelations because we go to Valla, and in Valla we stop a great plot, but in these games since we don't go to Valla, the great plot comes to us? Some kind of "great-god-taking-over-our-world" plot? And in Revelations, maybe we stop it before it happens? I am not sure how to fit these pieces together, myself. But I know there must be a way to make it work and not feel like a cop-out to the player.

You guys have tons more great ideas for how to make the war between Hoshido and Nohr more interesting. I am more concerned with figuring out how this war could relate to Azura's great world-changing secret in a way that's better than in the current game. Does anyone have an idea?

Again, the game already tries to do a lot of these things that I bring up. But the game handles them poorly, and flounders about, and then makes up nonsense plots to try to fix it, because the game's writing loses focus. I think approaching it this way makes it much simpler, and more dramatic.

[spoiler=Other things]

Some small things that I think could be modified for a better, more interesting game.

Azura's song bothers me because the lyrics are very explicit... the song is clearly a "look, this is a metaphor for the player, aren't we great writers" kind of thing, but the song doesn't really do anything. So the overt-metaphor lyrics are pointless. Like a distraction meant to fool the player into thinking it means something, when it doesn't. But if we re-structure the story to make the song matter, and make it significant to Azura and Corrin's relationship that she knows the song, I think it'd also be important to change the song's lyrics. Because that's cool. Mysterious songs by mysterious songstresses are cool.

More ambiguous lyrics would be pretty neat. The kind that imply that Azura knows more about you and your involvement in things than she should, but then when you listen to them later you understand what she knows. Or even, lyrics not in English? Like the way the special song was handled in fe10. I'll admit I'm not a musician, and not too great at writing lyrics myself. But I think it'd add to Azura's mystery if they were better.

The Nohr/Hoshido war is meant to be pretty grey-grey morality, so I think it'd be nicer if all the family-tree-confusion-nonsense was done away with, and the siblings were all related to you exactly as the game tells you in the first place. You'd have familial ties to both contries, as the premise wants. It might also be more efficient to reduce the number of total family members. You could spend more time writing better characters that way. Trim the fat.

It might be interesting, as well, if Mikoto were kept alive. So Mikoto vs. Garon was an element of the war, and maybe the "great and terrible secret involving the fate of the world and maybe also Anankos" affected both of them. It'd be much better than Garon being a slime monster.

That's all I've got. Sorry it was a lot, hopefully it's relevant and okay to post here. Does anyone have any ideas to expand on the story being structured this way?

[jankmaster98]

I have a weird idea. For some reason I have this idea to explain the stat differences between Monster Awakening children and regular unit fates. The Nohrian Retainers are actually the "Main" Timeline children. For some reason this also means in my head that Odin, Selena, and Laslow are their real names because having two children named Owain, Severa, and Inigo would be confusing. If we're really going off the wall you could say that Main!Lucina could technically be written as a part of this traveling group, as she was already named before the reveal of the time travel.

Gah, either way I was thinking about a story where Nohr post birthright, and Hoshido post conquest are somehow are put together in some odd world. Interesting could also be the opposite where the two Victorious nations face off... Yep... I have stayed up too late...

[Blade]

I finally finished this support. I'm a bit anxious and embarrassed to post it. Please point out any grammatical errors and please critique this. I went vanilla with some Mamui x Jakob.

[spoiler=Notes Before Reading Support]*Canicus/Kagutsuchi are the names of my head!canon MU.

*Muspelheim refers to the MU personal weapon. It is a Flame Lance.

*Joker/Jakob is not a servant. He is still an aristocrat.

*Dialogue has been color coded for ease.

*I extended the length of the support by making the A+ Rank have a proper support. All supports—same sex or opposite sex—will likely have an A+ Rank to wrap things up, for lack of better words.

[spoiler=Mamui x Joker C-A+]Rank C

Canicus: Joker, I would like to play a game.

Joker: Very well, milord. What will it be? Chess? Hazard? Merelles?

Canicus: Don't be coy, Joker. You know what game.

Joker: I see. Shall I retrieve the cards, then?

Canicus: No, I have them here.

Joker: I see you come prepared. Eager for another lesson in losing Klaberjass?

Canicus: Don't forget your place, Joker. There is only so much taunting I can take before igniting.

Joker: You do indeed have a way with fire—I would rather not return to ashes and dust just yet.

Canicus: Good. Then I suggest you shut your mouth and deal the cards.

Joker: But of course, milord.

Canicus: Blast it all! This is the—

Joker: Fifty-fourth.

Canicus: —fifty-fourth time I have lost to you at this damnable game! What am I doing wrong!? Tell me!

Joker: Klaberjass is a game requiring a fine strategic balance of technical skill, luck, reading the opponent, taking inferences and bluffing. To be blunt, milord, you are lacking several of those elements—particularly in reading emotions and hiding your own.

Canicus: ... ... ...

Joker: I have several exercises and written guides that guarantee a poker face that rivals even that of Beruka. I suggest you study them or you will never beat me—and I doubt you would want to lose a fifty-fifth time.

Canicus: ... ... ...

Joker: Lord Canicus?

Joker: What is that smo—? Ah, milord! You're burning a hole through the table!

Joker: M-milord, what are you doing? Why are you brandishing Muspelheim?

Joker: Ahem. I believe I shall leave you to, uh, cool down. By your leave...

Canicus: To the training field. Now.

Joker: ...Oh dear.

Rank B

Canicus: Joker.

Joker: Ah, good evening, milord. What brings you here so late?

Canicus: Those burns...

Joker: These? Well, you did this. They are but minor burns, however. I am quite resistant; I have to be or I would be unfit to be your retainer.

Canicus: ... ... ...

Joker: Do not make that face, milord. See? This is the reason you have yet to win a game of Klaberjass against me.

Canicus: ...Your taunting makes it difficult to be remorseful, Joker. *sigh* Your words, however... They do have a grain of truth to them.

Joker: Is that so? I take it you have decided to undergo my lessons, then?

Canicus: I never said that.

Joker: Then, you resign yourself to lose to me eternally?

Canicus: No. Instead... tell me how you came to be so skilled at hiding behind a poker face.

Joker: There is little to tell, milord. We come from similar upbringings—one where power is the most coveted commodity.

Joker: Whereas martial prowess is emphasized in your world, monetary prowess and interpersonal connections are the key to mine.

Joker: Detachment and suppression comes naturally when schmoozing blue bloods; wearing your emotions on your sleeves formed cracks and allowed competitors to seep into them.

Canicus: You tell me this, as if none of it applies to me.

Joker: Oh, it does—but to a much lesser scale. Tell the truth, milord. How much of your time in Castle Krakenburg has been spent licking the boots of another?

Canicus: ... ... ...

Joker: How much of your life has been planned since the moment you first drew breath?

Joker: Have you ever spent sleepless nights studying science and literature simply to impress the obese wife of a baron?

Joker: Have you ever been forever bound to another, not out of love, but to secure the money and lineage of families that will more than likely go broke when an imbecile inevitably becomes leader?

Canicus: Joker...

Joker: You have an advantage over me than can never be overcome, no matter what I do. You have the power and place in society that makes you a player.

Joker: I, on the other hand, was destined to be little more than a game piece to be played since the moment of my conception. I learned my place early.

Joker: To be an effective pawn, it requires that one realizes how they feel in any given moment is irrelevant. In the grand scheme, they are but dominos meant to be toppled over.

Joker: I merely apply such logic to my strategies of any game that I play—and I win them without issue.

Canicus: ... ... ...

Joker: Now then, shall I retrieve the necessary supplies for my regime? I doubt my spiel did any in assisting your play style.

Canicus: *leaves*

Joker: Lord Canicus!? Where are you going!?

Joker: Hm. Such a pained expression on his face. Was it something that I said...?

Rank A

Joker: Lord Canicus? Are you well? You seem a bit out of sorts lately. There have not been any mentions of you setting fire to Lord Leo's cloaks or Lady Camilla's satin sheets this past week.

Canicus: Oh...?

Joker: Milord?

Canicus: Joker, do you remember what you told me the other evening? When you were dressing your wounds?

Joker: Somewhat. Is there something in particular?

Canicus: You told me that, in this world, I was born a player and that you were born a pawn.

Joker: Ah, that. I apologize if my words upset you—I was not criticizing you or showing rancor. I was merely telling truths.

Canicus: And yet, you were not.

Joker: ...Pardon?

Canicus: You seem to have a rather romanticized view of my life, Joker. You call yourself a pawn—but, in reality, I am one as well.

Joker: Why would you ever think that, milord? You are a prince of Nohr! One of the strongest and most talented! If I could be only a fraction of what you are, I—!

Joker: ... ... ...

Joker: Forgive me, Lord Canicus. I spoke out of turn.

Canicus: You know, Joker...

Canicus: I haven't always been strong. Nor have I always been a prince of Nohr.

Canicus: And I haven't always been the son of King Garon.

Joker: Huh?

Canicus: It may come as a surprise to you but I was once a prince of Hoshido.

Joker: WHAT!?

Canicus: I was taken as a young child and imprisoned within Castle Krakenburg as a political hostage.

Canicus: During that time, I...I cried until I fell ill. I cried for my mother. For my father. For my brother and sister. For anyone to come save me.

Canicus: But none came to my rescue.

Joker: Lord Canicus...

Canicus: Father didn't lie when he told me of the circumstances. While I hated him for kidnapping me, I still listened to his words, for my sorrow had since then turned to burning rage for those that had abandoned me.

Canicus: He took me for a simple reason: to shame King Sumeragi and prove his superiority over his eternal rival.

Canicus: Father then posed a question. He asked, "Do you hate me for snatching you away or do you hate your father more for leaving you to die?"

Joker: ... ... ...

Canicus: At first, I thought it was a trick question. I thought he would kill me if I told him I hated him. I answered with what I thought he wanted to hear—and, honestly, it was how I felt at the moment.

Canicus: He laughed, loud and booming, as he placed a hand on my head. "Very well. You are my child. No longer shall you be son of Sumeragi. Today, you are the son of Garon. Today, you are Canicus."

Joker: Milord...

Canicus: Do you know how the heir to the throne is chosen in Nohr, Joker?

Joker: ...I am sure you will tell me, milord.

Canicus: Heh. Yes, I will.

Canicus: The king and queen give birth to a child, the high prince or princess. They will inherit the throne, unless certain...happenstance...occurs.

Canicus: The king will then take on several concubines over the years. In the history of our fifteen kings, no more than fifty concubines have been taken at a time but there have been no less than twenty. He will then lie with them all, fathering as many offspring as possible.

Canicus: From there, the games begin.

Joker: ...Oh dear...

Canicus: The princes and princesses are pitted against each other, encouraged by both Father—who is eager to have the most capable take his place as ruler—and the mothers, who are more concerned with rising from their stations than their own children's lives. There is no limit to how far one can go or who one can kill. Not even the high prince or princess is safe from assassination.

Canicus: The court erupted when Father announced me as his son. I was the unknown element—I could make or break someone's future.

Canicus: My first day as a prince of Nohr, I had several women doting over me. Childless women, I know now. For a fleeting moment, I felt warmth and kindness.

Canicus: My first night as a prince of Nohr, I had a girl straddling me, ready to plunge a dagger into my skull. From that moment onward, I have felt only bitter loneliness.

Joker: Lord Canicus... Please stop. You don't have to... You don't have to continue, milord.

Canicus: ...I was not meant to come this far; Father didn't expect me to exceed his expectations. He claimed me as his son but he assumed I would perish to one of his demented brood.

Canicus: It was a win-win for him, regardless of what happened.

Joker: ... ... ...

Joker: ...Why have you not attempted to return to Hoshido, milord? You are more than strong enough. And I am sure that your family misses you, their prince.

Canicus: If I were truly loved and missed, why have I still been in Nohr for the past fifteen years?

Canicus: ...Besides... Would you follow if I were to leave?

Joker: ...! I-I...

Canicus: ... ... ...

Canicus: ...That was stupid of me. Forget I ever asked. *leaves*

Joker: ... ... ...

Joker: ...I'm sorry, milord.

Rank A+

Joker: Lord Canicus.

Canicus: Joker.

Joker: ... ... ...

Canicus: Wha—!? Get off the dirty floor! What are doing!?

Joker: Groveling at your feet for your forgiveness, milord.

Canicus: Joker, what—?

Joker: As I listened to you that day, when you spilled your heart to me, I realized I was wrong. So very wrong.

Joker: ...I was both ignorant and arrogant in my thinking. I criticized your ability to read others, but it was I that was lacking. I insulted you, fueled by the anger at my lot in life. As well as...envy. Of you.

Canicus: Envy...?

Joker: Yes. Envy.

Joker: I watch you stand strong and proud as you go out into the world. I gaze at you on the battlefield and the mere glimpse of you and Muspelhiem causes enemies to quake in terror. I see you snap your fingers and all you could ever want is placed before you without a question.

Joker: ...I saw you free from the chains of fate that tie me down.

Joker: When you first approached me with offer to be your retainer, I told you my name was "Joker." I chose this name because I wanted to be just that—a "wild card" that was not restricted by the roles forced upon me.

Canicus: Joker...

Joker: But, you are not free, milord. I was wrong. I was blind to your suffering. We are both slaves in this world just the same—and it was because of how well-crafted your poker face that I only just realized.

Joker: For my inadequacies, I apologize from the bottom of my heart. And, from this moment onward, I wish to rededicate myself to being your faithful retainer, willing to walk into the very fires of hell. Just for you.

Canicus: ... ... ... *sniff* ... ... ...

Joker: Milord!? Are you cr—!?

Canicus: Don't look at me.

Canicus: ... ... ... *sniff* ... ... ...

Jakob: ... ... ...

Canicus: Get up.

Joker: ...Milord?

Canicus: Get. Up.

Joker: Ack! Careful with the lapels, milord! They take time to iron each morning!

Canicus: Your name.

Joker: W-what, milord?

Canicus: Tell me your name.

Joker: Ah, that is... My name... It is Jakob.

Canicus: Jakob, then.

Canicus: ... ... ...

Canicus: Thank you, Joker. For your sincerity and devotion as my retainer. I could not ask for more.

Jakob: Milord...

Canicus: ...And, Jakob... My name is...Kagutsuchi. It is...nice to meet you.

Joker: Milord...!? That—!

Canicus: I hope that you and I, Jakob, can become close friends. Please...take care of me.

Joker: ...To the best of my abilities. Kagutsuchi...

Speaking of supports, Thane, NekoKnight, I thought both of your supports were really good.

...I would say more but my brain hurts from typing and editing all of that in the spoiler tags.

Wished I wrote supports that well... Including Thane's and NekoKnight's supports too. This one was my favorite on of them all (no offense, but all of them were really well done). To be granted, I never even wrote a support before... I might as well give it a try sometime.

Ever since I've been lurking here since Fates' announcement, reading every single page about Fates' Story being a cluttered mess of good ideas with a disappointing execution overall. I'm a reddit AND gamefaqs visitor so I've been doing triple duty just out my hype for Fates. I decided to start writing a fanfic that makes fun of the story and Fates in general. A parody. I'm known as the laziest person to do work so I'll die before I even finish it.

[Time the Crestfallen]

It's time for chapter 2! This was going to have more in it, but then I saw the word count and realised that if I added in what I wanted to do, the chapter would easily be 8000+ words long and I don't want to start making chapters that long yet.

[spoiler=Notes i.e. fuck your canon!]

-Last name for Nohr fam is Merovingian, last name for Hoshido fam is Shingen and Azura's last name is Nyneve.

-Hoshidan sibling age swap! Sakura is the oldest and Ryoma is the youngest.

-Azura gets the Yato and is the High Queen of Valla

-I tried to emulate Owain's speech pattern in his writting, but I think I've underdone it. Thoughts?

-Despite what's said in this chapter, another issue with Owain's writing is that he wrote it to be semi-fictional and also never intended it to be published. The reason why will be mentioned latter.

-Nohr fam knows he's Hoshidan. Corrin meanwhile, knows that he's being lied to but not what the exact truth is.

[spoiler=Text. Word Count- 4054]

If you're reading this, then it's extremely likely that you own the original copy of this book. It's also likely that you've formed several strong opinions on various subjects based on information gleaned from the original. Unfortunately, the first publishing of this story is filled with misinformation and over-exaggerations of true events. Even worse is that this misinformation has worsened the already tense and hostile relations between the various kingdoms. For this reason, a reprint is being issued with the purpose of clearing up the errors that have been made.

Xander rested his chin on one hand and absentmindedly tapped his quill against the desk. The opening paragraph was a little terse and to the point, likely as a result of Azura's dictation and although it could probably benefit from a little filler, it wasn't worth raising a fuss about yet. At the very least anything that could've been considered outright rude would've already been taken out by Azura in-post. Still, it would be something to look out for in the future. The girl had a problem when it came to friendly speech, often coming across as insensitive at times. Gods know that the last thing this book needed was more reason to stir up controversy.

It should be made clear, however, that this wasn't done deliberately. Owain Dark, the original author, has a style of writing that lends itself towards black-and-white morality with clearly defined heroes and villains (albeit with the main hero tending towards a more morally grey presentation). This is consistent throughout everything he's written and while somewhat simplistic in theory, his original works from what I've seen use it quite well and are very entertaining.

Not to mention rather justified. Apparently more than a few of his works were based on his own experiences and judging from what little Inigo had said about their country of origin, 'black-and-white' didn't even begin to cover it. It was no wonder the dark mage's writing tended towards such moral extremes. If even half of it was true, those 'Grimleal' might as well have been as inhuman and monstrous as the Faceless.

Unfortunately, while applying such morality to an original story is perfectly fine, real-life is very rarely so simple and while Nohr was undoubtedly the aggressor of the conflict and many of the higher-ranking officials towards the end of King Garon's were corrupt and cruel, to say that they represent the entirety of the Nohrian population is incorrect.

'Bigoted' was the word Xander would've used to describe it, but considering that diplomacy and tact were more important than ever in this day and age, Azura's less confrontational wording was ideal for the topic at hand. Nevertheless, it would probably be worth mentioning that many of those officials were appointed directly by Garon and thus, circumvented the traditional methods of promotion. Xander flipped to the back of the book and dipped his quill in its inkwell before writing his thoughts on the first blank page before turning back to the start.

As a means of clearing up many of the errors, myself and my colleagues (Archdukes Leo and Takumi specifically) have issued a reprint in order to correct this errors. I and my fellow veterans of the Third Nohr-Hoshido War and Vallite War will be giving our account of the events and hopefully, improve the bond between Valla, Hoshido and Nohr.

With that paragraph, the disclaimer had come to an end. Eager to make as much headway as possible before the meeting, Xander turned the page over and felt his mood sour a little as he noticed that Owain's…colourful prose had been left intact. The king had been hoping that it would've been replaced with more plainspoken text, if only because it would've been less

bothersome to read.

Chapter 1: A Fateful Occurrence (Archduke Leo)

As numerous as the stars are the sagas that chronicle the tales of mythical tales of yore! From the Saga of Ryuurei; the Son of Dragons and founder of Valla, to the Siegfried; the Ebon Knight who freed his people from the tyranny of the Blight Dragons to Raiden; the Trueblade of Storms and uniter of the eastern nations.

Natheless, one need not look to the distant past to find heroes of legend, whose actions will be spoken of in sagas for generations to come. From Xander Merovingian and Sakura Shingen, eldest royals of Nohr and Hoshido who signed the first peace treaty between their nations to Azura Nyneve, High Queen of Valla and slayer of Anankos. The deeds of these champions of light shall transcend mere history and become the tales of legend that shall inspire the generations of the future!

To say that Xander was already irritated by the florid prose would've only been a slight exaggeration. The king was never one to employ verbose language where simpler and more plain-spoken sentences would work just as well, and as such he found Owain's particular method of articulation to be something of a pet peeve of his, with the fact that he could 'hear' the sorcerer's bombastic voice all but yell each word inside his mind only worsening the experience. Needless to say, the week in which he learned to use iambic pentameter in conversation had not been a particularly enjoyable one.

This volume tells the tale of a prince of Nohr and Hoshido, a child of two worlds and husband to Azura. His name is Corrin Merovingian to Nohr and Kamui Shingen to Hoshido, but he goes by many other names and titles; the Crux of Fate, the Wind Sage, Conjuror of the Sacred Gale, the Good Shepherd, the Platinum-Scaled One, the Dragon of Fate, the Avatar of Peace and the Draconic Inheritor. *1

*1: Most of these titles are made up. To my knowledge, the only one of these he's ever been referred to by is 'the Wind Sage', and that has more to do with his weapon of choice than anything to do with him.

Who is this scion of legend I hear you ask? Corrin was the son of Emperor Sumeragi and Mikoto Shingen, abducted by King Garon on the same day as Emperor Sumeragi's assassination and Cheve's surrendering of autonomy and induction as a vassal state of Nohr. *2

*2: Despite what certain ignorant and bigoted fools would have you believe, the idea that vassal states under the control of Nohr are worked like slaves and abused frequently is untrue. In fact, many of the Vassal States are treated quite well.

The blonde king frowned disapprovingly at the text in front of him. While he understood perfectly well that Leo did not suffer fools lightly and that he could come across as rude without intending to be at times, openly using such harsh language and insults would only give off the wrong impression and was more likely to worsen people's opinions of Nohr than improve them, especially considering that the treatment of the people of Cheve was just as horrid and barbaric as everyone said it was. Xander quickly noted at the back of the book that Leo should be less confrontational with his language before continuing to read.

Stripped of all memories of his early childhood, sealed away into the darkest depths of his mind with dark magic, King Garon truly lived up to the legacy of the great manipulators of his earliest ancestors and raised this child of destiny as his own, tricking him into believing that he was a prince of Nohr rather than Hoshido and for a time he and his adoptive siblings lived in blissful ignorance of the truth.

"Not all of us." Xander thought to himself, recalling the day he met his younger brother for the first time.

The young prince could hear Leo and Elise complaining about the long ride from inside the caravan. It was to be expected of course; royalty or not, they were still young children and to be kept in such a confined space with only fifteen-minute breaks to stretch their legs every forty-five minutes was surely frustrating for them, as was their father's continued silence on where they were heading.

The fact that the circumstances behind their departure and journey were unusual certainly wasn't doing any good for Xander's own curiosity. Woken well before even the morning servants would rise from their slumber and escorted out of the capital through one of the many secret escape passages to meet up with a convoy, all of whom were members of the Omega Legion and escorted to the north, further north even the most distant of castles or towns. It just didn't make sense, the only things this far north were mountain ranges and, beyond that, the Frozen Wastes. What could possibly be worth travelling this far?

"Daddy?" Camilla said, barely suppressing a yawn as she poked her head out through the front of the caravan. From his position at the front of the convoy, Garon slowed his horse and allowed the caravan to catch up with him.

"What is it princess?" He asked, smiling warmly at his lilac-haired daughter.

"Where are we going?

Garon sighed wearily, his smile fading slightly out of annoyance. "You've asked seven times now and I've told you that you'll have to wait until we arrive each time."

Camilla was having none of it, however, and stared at her father with the biggest sad-eyes she could muster and a pout. Hers was a particularly effective and sympathy-provoking example of that particular expression; a trait shared with her mother despite the latter's status as Captain of the Royal Guard. Xander could only hope she wouldn't inherit her mother's mental instability alongside it.

"You won't stop asking until I say, will you?" Garon asked, and sighed as Camilla shook her head in response.

"Fine. We're going to visit a new brother of yours."

Xander damn near fell out of his saddle from the shock and the expression on Camilla's face was very indicative of her own surprise. It also seemed that Leo and Elise were now cured of their exhaustion, joining Camilla at the front of the caravan and asking Garon multiple questions with each breath.

"His name is Corrin and his mother was a Hoshidan musician I met during a diplomatic voyage to Nestra. I continued to see her during my trips to Cyrkensia for the Festival Season and eventually, we had a child together. She moved into the palace, but she and Corrin were disguised using illusionary magic. The courts disapproved of me siring so many children to women who weren't the queen as it is, for one of them to be born of Hoshidan blood would've been…controversial, to say the least."

"So did it work?" Camilla asked, although the tone in her voice seemed to indicate that she already knew the answer.

"No. One of the other children's mothers discovered the truth and poisoned their food. Corrin survived; the poison was dark magic based, so the Dragon's blood within him saved his life. His mother, however, did not and Corrin himself was left in a coma."

"Ah, so we're gonna see him now that he's woken up? Leo queried.

"Not quite. Whatever poison they used, it sealed his memories. He's been awake for four months now, undoing the effects of the poison on his memories. We're going to see him now that he can speak fluently."

Camilla, Leo and Elise seemed satisfied by Garon's explanation, but Xander was poring over the story in his mind, trying to make sense of what he'd been told. If Corrin's mother would be in such danger for being a Hoshidan, why even bring her to Castle Krakenburg? Surely there would've been better alternatives, especially considering that illusionary magic was notoriously difficult to maintain for long periods of time. If there was a Hoshidan in Garon's harem, Katarina surely would've found and that definitely would've led to an argument that he would've overheard. Never mind that while dark magic was certainly capable of tampering with memories, that doing so belonged to a very specific type of tome and required extensive training to do so without killing the target. Xander kept trying to think of rational explanations, but none of them made sense. Something was clearly wrong with Garon's story.

"Fathe-" Xander began to say before he was silenced by the Garon's fearsome warning glare silenced him. Clearly, the king didn't want to discuss the matter further and Xander certainly didn't want to anger him by pressing the matter.

"I'll ask latter." The blonde prince assured himself, choosing to distract himself by taking stock of his equipment. The steel sword and javelin that were standard for cavalier-class soldiers were both easily accessible in the event of an ambush, his water canteen was running a little low but would probably last until they arrived at their destination and he still had enough rations to last for two more breaks. If only his own body could be holding up nearly as well; the prince was starting to feel weighed down by his armour as a result of the long journey and the hours of riding hadn't done any favours for his legs and lower back, both of which were now aching to the point that the prince wanted nothing more than to stop riding and join his siblings in the caravan.

"No. 'A Knight of Nohr must ride day and night if need be'."

Reminding himself of his tutor's motto was of little comfort to the prince, but it at least gave him the determination to keep riding. Mercifully, however, there wasn't much time left until the journey was complete. It was only twenty minutes after Garon had informed his children of the purpose of the journey before they came across a small outpost near the base of the mountains, well hidden by the surprisingly dense foliage of the area. The Nohrian king exchanged a few words with the outpost's leader before they were lead to a section of the mountain's wall. The children watch with puzzled looks as Garon walked up to the hardened stone of the mountain and rapped his fist against it four times.

"Might I borrow a cup of flour and a stick of butter?"

Xander narrowed his eyes, confused by his Garon's actions. The prince was about to question his father over what the purpose of that phrase was before an entire section of the mountain, easily wide enough to walk through, faded away and exposed five sorcerers.

"Ah. Illusionary magic."

King Garon beckoned for the rest of the convoy to follow him through the passageway. Urging his horse into a gentle trot, Xander followed the aged warrior into the passage, watching with interest as the sorcerers weaved their magic and recast the illusion. The blonde cavalier could hear his sibling's hushed whispers and expressions of awe, their young minds captivated by the sight of such powerful magic. It took another twenty minutes of travelling to get from one side of the mountain to the other, but when they reached the other side, the sight of the black-granite fortress sitting on an island of land within a seemingly bottomless crater was truly impressive.

"My children." Garon beckoned, calling Xander and his siblings closer to him. "This is the Northern Fortress; one of the greatest secrets of the Kingdom of Nohr. Its existence is known only to about a dozen people, not counting the staff of this place. To reveal its existence is a capital crime, no exceptions. If any of you reveal the location of this place without my permission, you will be punished accordingly. Understood?"

"Of course father." Xander nodded, turning his head to his siblings and watching as Camilla also expressed her understanding, albeit not without gulping nervously as a fearful look spread across her face. Leo and Elise also responded positively, but it was highly likely that both of them were too young to understand the weight of what they'd been told and either he or Camilla would have to provide a more in-depth explanation latter.

"Excellent." Garon said, his previously serious expression fading and becoming much more good-natured. "Enough of such serious matters, let us go see your brother."

Mercifully, the trip from the base of the mountain to the Northern Fortress was much shorter than the previous two segments of the journey and very shortly, the gates of the fortress were shut behind them and a number of servants began attending to their needs. Camilla, Leo and Elise swiftly headed for the main tower of the fortress, eager to meet up with Corrin. Xander meanwhile, jogged over to Garon, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"Father, wait! I have some questions I need to ask you."

"I'd be surprised and a little disappointed if you didn't. Assuming you're referring to Corrin of course."

"Yes, I am. I-"

"I believe I know what you're referring to when you say that you have questions; you believe that the story I told you makes no sense, correct?"

"Yes."

"Then allow me to answer those questions now; Corrin is not my son. I know this may surprise you, but I cannot explain now. Come to my office once dinner is over and I will explain all that I can. For now though, all you need to know is that even though he may not be related to you by blood, I expect you to treat him as if he were. Understood?"

Xander was so stunned by his father's answer that he couldn't even muster a verbal response, only able to express his understanding through a meagre nod. The grey-haired king walked off and started a conversation with who Xander assumed was in charge of the fortress and leaving the blonde prince to wallow in his confusion.

"I just don't understand…"

Every answer the cavalier was given only seemed to bring more questions with it. However, rather than continue with a line of inquiry that was almost sure to get him nowhere, Xander instead entered the main tower and climbed the stairs until he reached the floor in which a maid had informed him the he and his siblings' rooms were located, resigned to the fact that he likely wouldn't be able to make sense of things until Garon offered a more detailed explanation. The prince quickly set about removing his armour, eager to be rid of the heavy plate armour now that the ride had come to an end. Starting with the helmet and working his way down to the sabatons, periodically lying flat on the bed to relax his lower back and leg muscles and groaning in pain as he did so, finally understanding what Garon had meant when he said that the first long ride was always the hardest, as well as his amused expression and snickered answer of 'you'll find out' upon being questioned further.

"I'm going to need a hot bath." Xander noted. However, he had other things to do first; tend to his horse, put away his equipment properly, eat lunch and, of course, meet his 'brother'. With a heavy groan and more than a little reluctance, Xander stood up and walked out the door, heading for the common area, where his siblings were undoubtedly playing with Corrin. As expected, when Xander walked through the door the very first thing he noticed was that Camilla had already become attached to her new 'brother', eagerly chatting with him as she attempted to hand-feed him lunch. Xander walked over to the two, both of them turning their head at the noise and allowing Xander to get his first look at his supposed brother.

The first thing the Nohrian prince noticed was that he was young, no older than eight. Of course, that bit of information was forgotten rather quickly once Xander noticed his rather alarming physical abnormalities; ears that were pointed rather than round at the tips, deep red eyes with slitted pupils, abnormally fair skin even by Nohrian standards and as he opened his mouth and greeted the prince nervously, Xander noticed that a pair of noticeably fanged teeth. It also seemed that Garon hadn't lied when he mentioned that the child was half Hoshidan, although the other half of his heritage was not of any nationality that the prince could recognise. Taking this new information into consideration, Xander know suspected he knew exactly why Garon had taken in 'Corrin' when he wasn't his own child, as well as where he'd come from.

"I'm afraid you'll have to get closer milord. Lord Corrin can't see very well." Gunter told him, and it was only then that Xander noticed that Corrin was looking at his chin rather than his eyes as well as the somewhat unfocused look in his eyes. The prince knelt down and shuffled forward until the look in Corrin's eyes became more focused, at which point there couldn't have been more than half a metre between them. Corrin instantly averted his gaze and started fidgeting with his hand, his shyness readily apparent.

"Well at least we have that in common."

"Go on Corrin, it's okay." Gunter said, laying a reassuring hand on the Hoshidan's shoulder. Corrin looked to the Nohrian knight before nodding and looking at Xander nervously, still fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

"Um, h-hello. M-my name is Corrin. It's nice to meet you." He stated hesitantly. Xander had only ever met Hoshidans when he accompanied Garon to Nestra, but he could still detect the faintest traces of a Hoshidan accent in his words. Xander briefly wondered how many siblings he had in the very likely scenario that he was a member of the Hoshidan Royal Family. If he remembered correctly, it would've been three or four. Would've been the key word.

"Hello Corrin. My name is Xander, I'm your older brother."

His other siblings had bought into the lie at first, but as they grew older they began to realise the truth before coming to him for answers. How could they not when Garon's story was only crafted to fool them as young children? Leo had been the first, the mage's sharp mind easily picking apart the flaws in Garon's story before he'd even reached twelve years of age. Camilla had taken a bit longer than that, although that had been more to do with her being in denial about it for some time rather than a genuine lack of knowledge on her part. Unsurprisingly, Elise was the last to come around due to her youth, although she'd learnt about Corrin's true origins far earlier than either he or Camilla would've liked as a result of Leo mentioning it carelessly during an argument. The blond princess had taken it surprisingly well, although 'surprisingly well' still entailed crying in her room for a full day and refusing to talk to Leo for another two on top of that.

However, with age came the shedding of innocence and the Royal Family of Nohr eventually knew of his origins as a prince of Hoshido. Corrin himself however, remained ignorant of his origins. *3

*3: This is technically correct; while we never told Corrin the truth behind his circumstances, he figured out that father's story was fabricated rather quickly and was rather obsessive when it came to trying to learn the truth.

This ignorance was not to last though, and no one could predict the chain of events that would occur once Xander and Camilla returned from the last 'Reclamation War'.

Xander groaned at the memory of that campaign, remembering his actions bitterly and the consequences they would bring with them.

All criticism is welcome. Tear me to pieces!

Edited May 19, 2016 by Phillius

[Truthblade]

Just wanted to let you know that the next chapter on my fanfiction Paths of Trial is up.

[NekoKnight]

I know this thread hasn't had a new post in a while but a number of people have mentioned to me that they want to post their fanfiction ideas somewhere. I'll be getting back into writing myself but for now I'd like to comment on other people's writings.

I dunno if I should do this, but I'd like to post first-drafts of what I write here to get feedback. I just finished chapter 1 of the reboot and I'd like to get it checked for anything idiotic. It's pretty short, but every chapter I posted towards the story before this was 4000+ pages long, so that'll probably change. If they wind up being super long, I'll post them in bits and pieces. Lastly, I want you guys to hold nothing back. If there's something you don't like or think is dumb, let me know. If anyone is OOC, verbally slap me upside the head, if something I write sounds weird, call me out and so on. If this isn't something you guys want me doing, I'll stop. Anyway, here's what I've got.

[spoiler=Notes]

-Royal pairings are; Corrin/Azura (obviously), Xander/Hinoka, Takumi/Oboro and Ryoma/Scarlet. Camilla and Sakura currently don't care about romance, Leo is crushing on Camilla (because angst) and Elise is crushing on Arthur.

-I kinda wanna age-swap the Hoshidan siblings i.e. Sakura is the oldest, Ryoma is the youngest. If you're worried about age, there's a 9 1/2 year difference between each half of the story so it's not that big of a deal in my mind. And yes, I have seen the age swap art. It's like 40% of the reason why I want to do it.

-I've done what I can to fix the grammar in my writing (Grammarly is a god-send). However, I don't care as much about character dialogue in that regard since people don't speak with perfect grammar.

-Valla is based around the Orokin Void in terms of aesthetics [spoiler=For Reference]

https://www.youtube.com/watchv=y0QkPEdgex8

http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/warframe/images/c/c0/Orokin_Void_Extraction_Hall.png/revision/latest?cb=20130525161854

http://www.gomultiplayer.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/OrokinEnvironment02.jpg

http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/warframe/images/7/79/Warframe_orokin_void_by_jowain92-d6ln8f1.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20141007070925&path-prefix=es

-In the most basic terms, Valla is a sci-fi/fantasy civlisation that kept every other nation in medieval stasis. I'll give more details latter.

-The Omega Legion is the name for every full-time Nohrian soldier, as most of Nohr's military might are reserves. I'm not 100% sold on the name, but I can't think of anything better.

-Awakening Trio come from Future!Past and keep their original names and hair colours. Inigo's father is Chrom, Owain's dad is default!Robin and Severa's dad is Stahl.

-The framing device is that Owain writes stories based on the adventures he has (he also does original works). He was writing stories about the events of Fates and the first one he wrote was about Kamui. The world he lived in influenced the way he writes, so his writing style tends to be rather black-and-white in-terms of morality. He and Niles prank each other constantly and one of Niles return pranks after Owain got him good was publishing all his written works. The problem with that is that Owain's retelling of Fates, being written in his black-and-white style, is that the account of events is rather bias; portraying Nohr as the villain of the conflict and Nohrian nobility is puppy-kicking arseholes while portraying Hoshido as the heroes of the story and downplaying their faults. It also, unfortunately, became the most widely-believed account of the events of the story so now Hoshido uses this as a justification for the stereotype of Nohrians and now the Nohrian civilian population believe the vast majority of higher-ranking officials to be corrupt and/or evil. Azura, Leo and Takumi have organised for an amended version to be made that clears up all the errors and accidental biases Owain injected into the story.

-On that note, Owain never intended for any of it to be published, Nohr nor did he intend for it to be a documentary. He writes for himself and for close friends, so that's why he didn't particularly care for historical accuracy or unbiased perspective. It was meant to be a fantasy 'based on a true story' novel fueled by rule of cool.

[spoiler=First Draft]

It was a quiet, early morning when Xander stepped through the portal within Castle Krakenburg and emerged in Valla's Nohrian Embassy. The buildings dark-grey granite walls and black marble floors making it an almost perfect copy of Castle Krakenburg's interior, down to the rather morbid artwork and glowing red lighting. Even the temperature was quite close to that of his homeland, albeit as a result of artificial cooling rather than a perpetual lack of sunlight. Regardless, Xander found himself just as grateful for the large fur cape he wore now that he was king.

Looking around the room, the blonde was slightly disappointed to find that his wife wasn't waiting for him in the room, but that was understandable. After all, the building was magically cooled for the comfort of Nohrian visitors and having grown up in Hoshido, his beloved Hinoka had found adapting to the weather and temperature of her new home to be just as difficult as learning the ins-and-outs of an entirely different culture. Even with the warmest clothing available, Hinoka still shivered outdoors and clung to him in bed even after it had been heated with a bed warmer. Not that it was a bad thing. The Nohrian King enjoyed the impromptu cuddles and the couple had found more than a few…enjoyable ways to stay warm in bed.

"Milord, are you ready to depart?"

Xander turned to face the voice and had his good mood soured a little when he came saw that two of his new retainers had just stepped through the portal. All four of them had finished basic training at the top of their classes and had earned considerable renown and prestige within the Omega Legion before slowly working up the ranks of vassalage to become Royal Guard. They were highly skilled, dedicated, professional organised, efficient and respectful, never overstepping so much as a single boundary. They were the pinnacle of what it meant to be a Nohrian soldier and an example of what every retainer should aspire to be.

And yet his relationship with them was so lifeless and dull that the blonde often found himself constantly wishing for the company of Inigo and Peri. The food they brought him lacked the 'spark' that Peri's possessed, the conversations were terse and cold as opposed to the friendlier and more open talks he had with Inigo. While their duty as his retainers had at times made him doubt that his relationship could ever be considered true friendship, it was certainly the closest he'd ever come to it and with each passing day, Xander missed Inigo's friendly nature and Peri's infectious enthusiasm more and more. Hell, he'd take scolding Inigo for attempting to flirt with a married marchioness or dealing with one of Peri's murderous moods than the constant professionalism of these new retainers.

"Milord? Is everything alright?"

"I'm fine Roland." Xander said, attempting to assuage the Paladin's worries. "Let's go."

As expected, Hinoka had chosen to wait outside the Embassy rather than within it, and was quite happy to greet her husband once he was no longer within the building. It was a simple greeting consisting of a chaste kiss and a quick hug, neither of them being the type to make grandiose expressions of affection, let alone public ones. The two royals parted just as swiftly as they had come together and Xander found himself increasingly aware of his retainers presence despite them not making any noise and having given the royals plenty of privacy. Xander turned to his retainers and informed them that their presence was no longer required; giving them orders to find their quarters and settle in.

"Are you sure Milord? What if-"

"There is no danger here Richard, so you might as well relax. Once you've settled in, you and Roland might like to try the hot springs. I'm told they're quite lovely."

"If that is you command, then consider it done!"

The two soldiers saluted in unison before turning and walking down the main hallway, presumably searching for a member of the capital's staff who could help them find where they would be staying for the next few nights. Xander would've helped them himself, but having not seen his wife in almost a week left him with different priorities.

"Still don't like having them around?" Hinoka asked, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, but it's only been a little more than two months since they've been assigned to me. I'll get used to them eventually."

"You say that, but you still always seem to have a reason to be away from them."

"I was like this after Inigo and Peri took the place of my first retainers and I remember not thinking much of them beyond 'lecherous fool' and 'obnoxiously childish' at first. I'll be fine dear; it just takes me a while to get used to change is all."

"I'm sure you will, and it's not like I can complain about you being stubborn considering my track record. Besides, we can always swap retainers if you want!"

"No thanks. I'm not that desperate." Xander stated, a ghost of a smile breaking his normally stony expression. Hinoka feigned disappointment at his rejection of her solution, but quickly dropped the pretence and let out a quiet chuckle. As much as they frustrated her at times, Setsuna and Azama had been her companions since before she had completed her apprenticeship for the Sky Knights and she considered them to be indispensable and amongst her greatest companions. Well, most of the time anyway. The number of times the Nohrian Queen had talked her husband's ear of with complaints about Setsuna's laziness or Azama making yet another child cry with his talk about the pointlessness of life, it was no wonder that he had shot down the offer so quickly, even if he wasn't completely serious.

"C'mon, we'd better settle in." Hinoka said, gesturing to the main hallway.

"I assume we'll be staying in the same room as last time?"

"Well yeah. It is permanently reserved for us."

The sabatons of Xander's armour and the steel soles of Hinoka's riding boots clacked loudly against the floor of the hallway. Perhaps it was just a lack of familiarity with the building, but something about the building had always seemed…off to Xander. From the walls and floors made of a pristine, almost blinding white material highlighted with equally shining gold, to the many awe-inspiring decorations like artificial waterfalls and decorative trees and bushes that appeared to have be made out of clear crystal quartz, all of which displayed a mastery of engineering, art and magic that blew even the most advanced Nohrian equivalents out of the water. There was just something about the place that made the king feel uneasy. The closest Xander had ever come to being able to voice his discomfort was that the place was 'too clean and perfect', almost to an unnatural degree and even that didn't fully explain it.

Not helping matters was the lack of sound or population. While the two's quiet small-talk and footsteps prevented kept the area from being totally silent and that they would occasionally pass by a servant or two performing various duties, but both of those did little to alleviate the eerie silence and emptiness of the capital. It didn't even fit into the category of culture shock that his time in Hoshido had induced; everything about the capital was just so alien, from the intensity of the colours to the strangeness of the architecture and decorations to the point of being uncanny.

It was almost a relief when they entered their room in the guest quarters which, while still as unnaturally clean as the rest of the capital at least didn't possess the same bright and shining colour pallet. No, their room bore the much more familiar black, purple and brass colours of Nohr. Dark grey floors and walls highlighted nicely by purple curtains and bed-sheets and each decoration trimmed with brass. However, the design of the room was quite clearly inspired my Hoshido with the exception of the king-sized bed; bamboo drawers by either side of the bed, a rice-paper shoji screen with a red cherry blossom tree by the corner closest to the bathroom and a writing desk that required one to sit on the ground or a pillow rather than a chair, something the king had always found perplexing. The room was otherwise decorated rather spartanly and the end result was comfortable and familiar for both the king and queen, as well as being surprisingly tasteful considering that most attempts to combine Nohrian and Hoshidan design had come out looking incredibly tacky at best and downright hideous at worst.

"Now this is more like it!." Hinoka trumpeted with delight before flopping onto the bed, the wooden frame creaking under the weight of her armour.

"Is the room to your liking dear?" Xander chuckled as he began removing bits and pieces of his own armour.

"Definitely. The decorations and architecture are much better here, not like those ugly…things back in Nohr."

"I believe 'sturdy' is the word you were looking for. I don't recall ever breaking a Nohrian-made door just by opening it."

"Hey, just because you're clumsy doesn't make them any less sturdy. You can't yank a door open and expect it to be fine afterward."

It was an old habit of theirs to have playful debates about whether Nohr or Hoshido was better in a giving area. The arguments hadn't been so jovial at first, having started as much more heated confrontations times during the Third War and gradually becoming less intense over the course of their courtship; from calm intellectual debates to casual discussion and finally, to more of a running joke between the two than anything else.

"Not to mention that-" Hinoka began as she started emptying out the contents of her travel back into the bedside drawers before pausing, eyes narrowed in confusion as she pulled out two books with identical covers. Oh, right. Here, I ran into your brother while I was training and he asked me to give you this."

The redheaded woman passed one of the books to Xander and the king gingerly took it from her hands before scowling as he recognised the title. Xander knew perfectly well what this book was about; having had to deal with the fallout of its contents for a little more than a year had left him very well acquainted with its content. The blonde momentarily wondered what would possess Leo to give him a copy of the book before he noticed the additions that had been made to the front cover.

"Heroes of Fate, Volume I: The Tale of Corrin/Kamui (Amended Edition). What's this about?"

"Well since the original one was so…'controversial', Azura wanted publish a new version that would clear the air."

"I see. And is when is it going to be released to the public?"

"Oh, it's not done yet. Look." Hinoka took the book from Xander's hand and flipped to the pages near the end, all of which were blank. "Only Azura, Leo and Takumi have contributed thus far. You, me and the others are supposed to read it and then write our memory of the events in the back, then it'll all get made into one book."

"I'll make sure to get around to that."

"Good. Anyway, I've gotta go spar with Ryoma now. You coming?"

"No thanks, I'd like to rest before the meeting."

"Okay. Rest well and I'll see you when the meeting starts."

The Hoshidan royal quickly kissed the king's cheek before darting out the door, eager to get to the training rooms. Xander meanwhile, removed the final piece of armour from his body and laid it next to the rest of the set before lying down, sighing contently as he relaxed every muscle in his body. It was only then that the prince realised that he'd forgotten the obsidian crown. Xander sat up with a grown before removing the jewellery from his head and placing it on his bedside drawer, his hand coming into contact with his copy of the book.

"Hmm…"

Xander took the book from the top of the drawer and stared at the cover for a moment before absent-mindedly flicking through some of the pages, his mind only barely registering the information on the pages and noting that it seemed like everything was as it was in the original, although the addition of footnotes had lengthened the book considerably. Looking over to the quill-and-ink on the writing desk and briefly wondered whether he should start contributing immediately or lie down and rest. In the end, however, the instincts developed over a life of being groomed to become king won out and the blonde stood up and started heading toward the desk.

"Might as well get started."

I've only read the first chapter so if these questions are answered later, my apologies.

Comments:

-Is there a reason Xander has new subordinates? Also, considering how Xander carries himself, I think he has more in common with his new subordinates than his old ones.

-Omega Legion sounds kind of silly, to be honest. It sounds a little too...edgy? Like it's trying too hard to be cool. Even just "The Legion" might be better.

-Why are they wearing full suits of armor on a visit to an embassy?

-Who is running Valla that requires there to be an embassy?

-Is Xander still a prince at this point?

-Switching up pronouns all the time without reason doesn't look very good. You refer several times to "the blonde" when speaking of Xander but it loses its impact after too much use. Why is attention repeatedly directed at his blonde hair? If you want to use a descriptive noun in place of a character's name, the line should have its own relevance. I know Xander is blonde after the first time you said it, and unless the topic of his hair is broached, that information doesn't need to be told again.

I'll get to chapter two a bit later.

[Time the Crestfallen]

I know this thread hasn't had a new post in a while but a number of people have mentioned to me that they want to post their fanfiction ideas somewhere. I'll be getting back into writing myself but for now I'd like to comment on other people's writings.

I've only read the first chapter so if these questions are answered later, my apologies.

Comments:

-Is there a reason Xander has new subordinates? Also, considering how Xander carries himself, I think he has more in common with his new subordinates than his old ones.

-Omega Legion sounds kind of silly, to be honest. It sounds a little too...edgy? Like it's trying too hard to be cool. Even just "The Legion" might be better.

-Why are they wearing full suits of armor on a visit to an embassy?

-Who is running Valla that requires there to be an embassy?

-Is Xander still a prince at this point?

-Switching up pronouns all the time without reason doesn't look very good. You refer several times to "the blonde" when speaking of Xander but it loses its impact after too much use. Why is attention repeatedly directed at his blonde hair? If you want to use a descriptive noun in place of a character's name, the line should have its own relevance. I know Xander is blonde after the first time you said it, and unless the topic of his hair is broached, that information doesn't need to be told again.

I'll get to chapter two a bit later.

-Inigo's gone back to Ylisse and Peri went with him cause they got married (and before you guys judge me, I changed Peri to be more of a Noire-esque character. pls no bully). Besides, it's not that he doesn't like them it's just that going from Inigo and Peri to them is a pretty jarring shift that he needs time to get used to.

-I also had misgivings about the name. I got stuck between them either sounding too elaborate or too bland, but I'll think of something.

-It's part of the culture of Nohr (i.e. a wholehearted belief in Murphy's Law). Sure, the chances of him being attacked are slim, but it's not zero so you might as well be prepared. Also, Xander is...not a popular ruler. He's already gone through three food tasters.

-Azura's running Valla, but the embassies are for diplomacy sake and sometimes travel advice. Kind of like modern foreign embassies, but without the issuing of visas.

-Nup, Xander's king. Did I call him prince by accident?

-That's a bad habit of mine, sorry. I don't like using the same description multiple times in a short space, so I tend to alternate between a few (typically name, hair colour and some description of their job/role like prince/noble/sorcerer/etc).

Edited June 27, 2016 by Phillius

[eclipse]

I'll allow necros on ONE condition - it's a story update. So consider that a push to actually write!

[Damosel]

Into A Walled Garden has updated, and this fic is rated T (although Ganz had me reconsidering). Although it's heavily Alternate Universe, just a warning for possible new readers.

[Ebony]

I'm probably going to put a bookmark in this idea. My motivation has been going into negatives and I'm dealing with too many personal stuff I've had to cut down writing to basically focusing on only one story - and it isn't this unfortunately. I'm going to ask if it's okay to keep my stuff up in the event I come back and decide to do it when my issues are solved. Shit sucks I had about two chapters done, got nervous about showing it, decided not to, and then this.

[Time the Crestfallen]

So I wanted to address the anachronism that's present in my fanfiction and some criticism would be appreciated.

-The Dragons had they're great big offscreen war that resulted in the destruction of their empire. The surviving Dragons were horrified by the end results and swore to prevent such catastrophic events from happening on such a scale ever again.

-The nation of Touma was formed, housed in Anankos' personal domain and it's population consisting of all the humans that had been uplifted by the various species of Dragon for use as soldiers in the war. With assistance from the Dragons that had chosen to live their and access to the magitek left over from their predecessors, Touma developed at a rapidly accelerated rate.

-As the humans that hadn't been uplifted developed at their slower pace, the surviving Dragons were split on whether to allow them to develop freely or keep them forcibly at a certain level in order to prevent them from advancing to the point that they could encounter other worlds, believing that they would come into conflict with each other and lead to the destruction of human civilisation outside of Touma. It was a very controversial issue, but eventually the side that supported enforced medieval stasis one out because the citizens of Touma heavily opposed sharing their advancements with the outsiders (in terms of how advanced they were, matter replication was relatively common by the time they got wiped out).

-Things started out well enough, but over time Touma lost interest in maintaining the status quo for all the different world to the point that the last century before they got wiped out by Anankos was host to discussion on whether they should just say 'fuck you, got mine' and let them do whatever they want as their continued intervention was basically just 'no industrial revolution or guns, everything else is fair game' with...interesting results (Nohr using Dark Magic, which is naturally mutagenic, to blow our modern field of genetics out of the water for example).

Thoughts?

[NekoKnight]

I'm going to be relatively free at work for a while. Anyone have any ideas for a yet-to-be-written support or one that needs fixing?

So I wanted to address the anachronism that's present in my fanfiction and some criticism would be appreciated.

-The Dragons had they're great big offscreen war that resulted in the destruction of their empire. The surviving Dragons were horrified by the end results and swore to prevent such catastrophic events from happening on such a scale ever again.

-The nation of Touma was formed, housed in Anankos' personal domain and it's population consisting of all the humans that had been uplifted by the various species of Dragon for use as soldiers in the war. With assistance from the Dragons that had chosen to live their and access to the magitek left over from their predecessors, Touma developed at a rapidly accelerated rate.

-As the humans that hadn't been uplifted developed at their slower pace, the surviving Dragons were split on whether to allow them to develop freely or keep them forcibly at a certain level in order to prevent them from advancing to the point that they could encounter other worlds, believing that they would come into conflict with each other and lead to the destruction of human civilisation outside of Touma. It was a very controversial issue, but eventually the side that supported enforced medieval stasis one out because the citizens of Touma heavily opposed sharing their advancements with the outsiders (in terms of how advanced they were, matter replication was relatively common by the time they got wiped out).

-Things started out well enough, but over time Touma lost interest in maintaining the status quo for all the different world to the point that the last century before they got wiped out by Anankos was host to discussion on whether they should just say 'fuck you, got mine' and let them do whatever they want as their continued intervention was basically just 'no industrial revolution or guns, everything else is fair game' with...interesting results (Nohr using Dark Magic, which is naturally mutagenic, to blow our modern field of genetics out of the water for example).

Thoughts?

I'm going to need a timeline to keep up with all of this. Did the dragon's big off-screen war involve the uplifted humans? Is Touma the remains of the dragon civilization after that war? And then it gets destroyed again by Anankos?

I'm probably going to put a bookmark in this idea. My motivation has been going into negatives and I'm dealing with too many personal stuff I've had to cut down writing to basically focusing on only one story - and it isn't this unfortunately. I'm going to ask if it's okay to keep my stuff up in the event I come back and decide to do it when my issues are solved. Shit sucks I had about two chapters done, got nervous about showing it, decided not to, and then this.

We're eager and waiting to see what you wrote. :>

[Time the Crestfallen]

I'm going to need a timeline to keep up with all of this. Did the dragon's big off-screen war involve the uplifted humans? Is Touma the remains of the dragon civilization after that war? And then it gets destroyed again by Anankos?

[spoiler=Timeline]

-Dragon Empire exists. Some species use humans as slave labour and the others...still use them as slaves, but are more benign about it.

-Big off-screen war! Blight Dragons, Earth Dragons, Ice Dragons and Fire Dragon loyalists vs. Divine Dragons, Wind Dragons, Storm Dragons and Fire Dragon rebels with Anankos, the original eight and the Astral Dragons being neutral. After a point, the Dragons take enough casualties that they start supplementing their armies with humans, some of which empowered with their blood.

-War ends. The war was devastating enough that the Dragons near universally decided to take any measure necessary to prevent something like it from happening again. Anankos, many dragons who remained neutral and the humans that were uplifted for service to the Dragon Empire were taken to his personal realm, as was the capital of the Divine Dragon empire for living purposes. Dragons and Humans live separately from each other, but maintain regular contact.

-The magitek was abandoned for the most part, in favour of an Amish-esque lifestyle i.e. minimal reliance on technology. Blight and Divine Dragons eventually die out and their lands are claimed by primitive human tribes.

-Touma uses the abandoned magitek to advance at an extremely rapid rate while Nohr and Hoshido advanced at the normal rate.

-The Dragons that were still alive, after much heated debate, decided that the Fates world (and every other world) should be kept at a certain level of technological advancement to prevent another war like the Dragon Civil War from happening and Touma are tasked with enforcing it, since they worship Anankos.

-As time goes on, they stop caring about the mission and 'medieval stasis' becomes 'no industrial revolution or Dragon's Gate knowledge, everything else is fair game' with a considerable amount of them wanting to just go 'fuck you, got mine' and leave them to their own devices.

-Anankos goes insane and wipes them out.

[NekoKnight]

[spoiler=Timeline]

-Dragon Empire exists. Some species use humans as slave labour and the others...still use them as slaves, but are more benign about it.

-Big off-screen war! Blight Dragons, Earth Dragons, Ice Dragons and Fire Dragon loyalists vs. Divine Dragons, Wind Dragons, Storm Dragons and Fire Dragon rebels with Anankos, the original eight and the Astral Dragons being neutral. After a point, the Dragons take enough casualties that they start supplementing their armies with humans, some of which empowered with their blood.

-War ends. The war was devastating enough that the Dragons near universally decided to take any measure necessary to prevent something like it from happening again. Anankos, many dragons who remained neutral and the humans that were uplifted for service to the Dragon Empire were taken to his personal realm, as was the capital of the Divine Dragon empire for living purposes. Dragons and Humans live separately from each other, but maintain regular contact.

-The magitek was abandoned for the most part, in favour of an Amish-esque lifestyle i.e. minimal reliance on technology. Blight and Divine Dragons eventually die out and their lands are claimed by primitive human tribes.

-Touma uses the abandoned magitek to advance at an extremely rapid rate while Nohr and Hoshido advanced at the normal rate.

-The Dragons that were still alive, after much heated debate, decided that the Fates world (and every other world) should be kept at a certain level of technological advancement to prevent another war like the Dragon Civil War from happening and Touma are tasked with enforcing it, since they worship Anankos.

-As time goes on, they stop caring about the mission and 'medieval stasis' becomes 'no industrial revolution or Dragon's Gate knowledge, everything else is fair game' with a considerable amount of them wanting to just go 'fuck you, got mine' and leave them to their own devices.

-Anankos goes insane and wipes them out.

I think it could be more concise. There is a lot of information in there that just distracts from the core setting details. I bolded the parts that I think are important.

One point that seems weird to me is how human societies were limited to prevent another devastating war, but weren't they merely pawns of the dragons to begin with? Seems like the dragons should be limiting themselves if they think it's a problem.

[Time the Crestfallen]

I think it could be more concise. There is a lot of information in there that just distracts from the core setting details. I bolded the parts that I think are important.

One point that seems weird to me is how human societies were limited to prevent another devastating war, but weren't they merely pawns of the dragons to begin with? Seems like the dragons should be limiting themselves if they think it's a problem.

Pls no bully. I'm trying to build a universe.

That's part of what contributed to their souring on that task, and the other half is that pure Dragons as a species are all but extinct by the time they started questioning it, although there are hyprid species around (Manaketes and Dragon Laguz) + wyverns, who are to Dragons what apes are to humans. By the time they really started going against it, the only pure Dragons known to be alive were:

-Anankos

-Ashunera

-Grima/Loptyr

And even then, Loptyr/Grima is a lich/undead and Ashunera is a spirit who inhabits the bodies of others, so it's technically only Anankos who's alive. But he gets killed, so...

[Time the Crestfallen]

I forgot to post it here, but here's chapter 3. Criticism is always welcome!

I also took your advice about the name of the Omega Legion and changed it to Ordre de la Couronne de Fer (Order of the Iron Crown).

[spoiler=Chapter 3]

"I don't see the point of continuing this campaign." Huffed one of the three generals, his frustration readily apparent as he waved his hand dismissively and ignoring the admonishing gaze Xander sent his way. "What possible advantage could conquering this country give us?"

"You know perfectly well that Loreon and its sister nations possess a wealth of mineral resources, especially in regards to the materials required to forge adamantine weapons."

"Bah, my lands are also rich with such resources. If we are truly in such dire need for these materials, then I will simply have my vassals work harder."

Xander was unable to suppress a snort of disgust, infuriated by and unable to comprehend how he could treat his subjects so callously. The action did not go unnoticed by those in the room, as the guards at each door gripped their weapons nervously and Garon pinched the ridge of his brow, mumbling something along the lines of 'not this again'. As expected, the general turned to Xander and raised an eyebrow, a defensive look in his eye.

"Do you find my proposal objectionable your highness?"

"Yes. I do. You've already raised the mandatory weekly working hours in mines owned by your family by six and reduced the conscription age for workers from eighteen to sixteen. Whatever plans you have for making your subjects 'work harder', I doubt they'll be ethical."

"And why are ethics such an important concern? Nohr needs resources, so we take them from our vassal states an-"

"We've gone beyond that now. We were at a sustainable level of consumption ten years ago and these new policies have led to the greatest overabundance of resources in the history of Nohr."

"You say that as if it's a bad thing! I honestly don't understand why you always bring this up, your highness. You benefit from our prosperity just as much as the rest of us!"

Garon sighed wearily and slumped into his chair, knowing perfectly well came after someone made that particular remark in regards to the blonde paladin. The prince glared at the general icily as he partially undid the straps holding his gauntlet in place and reached over to grip the hilt of Siegfried as it rested against the table, tapping an armoured finger against the pommel of the blade meaningfully.

"What exactly are you implying Antoine?"

"That's enough Xander." Garon chided, his frustration with the prince obvious. Xander looked at his father disbelievingly before he released his grip on Siegfried and started redoing the strap on his gauntlet, doing his best to ignore the smug and well-pleased grin plastered across the Antoine's increasingly irritating face. The general took a moment to bask in the joy of having one-upped the crown prince of Nohr himself before Garon turned on him.

"And Antoine, your attempts to hinder this discussion and self-promotion of your own lands is an insultingly transparent attempt to gain a stranglehold on our supply of these resources. I'd expected better from you considering your lineage."

"You majesty, I apologise if my words were interpreted as such. I am merely concerned that we have not given due consideration to alternatives."

"I'm sure." Garon said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Perhaps you'd be interested in knowing that both Duke Louis of Alsace and Duke Francis of Aquitaine are becoming increasingly annoyed by your power-plays and that is only that I find your ability to manage trade and supply lines superior to others that prevents them from moving against you. The invasion of Loreon will proceed as planned and I will not hear another word of opposition from you, lest I see fit to let the dukes act against you.

Antoine visibly paled at the statement and bowed his head towards Garon reverently before sitting down and staring intently at the map, a distant gaze upon his face.

"As much as I hate to be overly reliant on one particular solution, perhaps it would be better if we sent the Percheron Crusaders to deal with this."

The mention of his personal legion snapped Xander out of his rage-induced trance and had him gaze at the general questioningly. Before the prince could protest against such a decision, the third general spoke up.

"One of the biggest factors preventing us from making any decent headway into Loreon is their army's abundance of heavy crossbows and caltrops. Such conditions are hardly ideal for a legion of cavalry, no?"

"Perhaps, but the troops stationed there are suffering from critically low morale. The presence of Prince Xander and his legion would be quite the inspiration considering that they've yet to fail an assignment."

"I fail to see how sending one of our most successful and powerful legions and the crown prince of our country into such horrible conditions is worth it for the morale boost."

"Enough. I've made my decision." Garon boomed, standing up from his chair and moving closer to the board in order to move the pieces and explain his strategy.

Camilla suppressed a yawn as she placed the final report to the left side of her mahogany desk, lamenting the cons of having such a large spy network. Sure, she knew everything worth knowing and some of what wasn't about the political landscape and important figures of the current Nohrian nobility. But on the other hand, there was the paperwork; the never-ending paperwork to be read, summarised and memorised and with the bi-seasonally feast coming up, the number of reports she was receiving from her agents had seemed to triple overnight.

But that didn't matter now; all the work that needed to be finished immediately was done. Her newest dress with all the latest trends in Nohrian fashion incorporated into it had arrived, she'd finished her list of allies to be made and people to be manipulated and the accompanying character profiles, the details of which had been committed to memory and she'd even managed arrange an 'accident' for that idiotic marquis. With all her preparations for the feast complete, the princess could now afford some relaxation time.

"Oh this is going to be lovely." The lilac-haired woman thought to herself as she finished her glass of red wine and stretched out the aches in her neck and back, making plans for what she would do with her week of free time. Catch up on her reading perhaps? Try out those new scented bath salts from the Southern Isles? Visiting Corrin was definitely a priority, considering how long it had been since her last visit. However, what she was currently looking forward to the most was sleeping in. Oh yes, after so many late nights and early mornings, catching up on her sleep was something the princess was very much looking forward to. However, before the lilac-haired woman could even change into her nightgown she heard a knock on her door. Briefly fantasising about removing the offending hand from the wrist it was attached to, Camilla strolled over to the door and opened the door.

"Oh! Hello brother. Why, you were in the war room for so long I thought you'd died from starvation."

"After an entire day of dealing with nobles who care more about their personal power than what will benefit Nohr, I'm not sure if that wouldn't be a preferable fate."

"That bad? You have my sympathies."

"And you have mine."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"You and I are heading to Loreon to assist with the invasion and we're leaving at dawn. I imagine that with the bi-seasonally feast coming up, a lot of work is going to be going to waste for you." The prince said, gazing at her sympathetically at first but allowing himself to smile slightly as he observed her reaction. "The way your eye twitches doesn't seem healthy. Perhaps you should consult a doctor."

"Are you teasing me dear brother?"

"I do not tease. I merely remark." The prince corrected while doing his best to keep a straight face.

"I'm sure. Anyway, seeing as how we'll be getting up very early tomorrow, I think I'll go to bed now. Goodnight".

Xander briefly considered quipping on bitter and venomous edge in her words, but considering how foul the princess' mood could be when she missed her sleep, he decided it would be wiser to leave well enough alone. The paladin bid his sister goodnight and started heading towards his own chambers, intending on getting as much sleep as possible.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The gates of Windmire slammed shut behind the prince and his detachment with a deafening thud. Xander paused for a moment to take in the surroundings, taking note of the ash-coloured sand, the sudden drop in temperature, the ominous and worrisome silence and, of course, the ever-present mist that reduced visibility to about a hundred metres in all directions but straight ahead. Suppressing a cold-induced shiver, the prince drew Siegfried from its sheath, the dragonstone at the base of the blade flaring to life as a protective aura enveloped the prince and his horse. The blonde paladin performed a few practice swipes, a trail of mulberry-coloured smoke following the blades movements before turning to his squad of cavalry to give orders.

"Remember; it's uncommon for the wildlife to wander so close to the barrier, but it isn't unheard of. I want all weapons at the ready. If we're attacked by a carnifex your life is forfeit if you're not prepared."

The sound of swords, lances, and tomes being readied filled the air as Xander gazed to the barrier in question, the runic language of magic scrawled on both sides of the road giving off a very faint white energy, indicating that the barrier was working properly. They rode in five ranks of twenty, with Xander and his retainers in the middle of the group for their protection. Xander briefly considered starting a conversation with his retainers, but both of them were preoccupied for the same purpose but for very different reasons; Inigo's tense and somewhat fearful gaze indicating his paranoia and desperate hope that the journey to the border of Nohr would be uneventful; a sympathetic position to take considering that he and his friends first experience with Nohr had been fending off a swarm of gluses. Peri meanwhile, was looking around with bated breath and a look of anticipation and excitement on her face, eager for the opportunity to shed any kind of blood.

The blonde paladin briefly wondered how Camilla was doing. The two had managed to convince Garon to let the malig knight visit Corrin before heading for Loreon under the defence that her revenant would most likely allow her to arrive before Xander in spite of the detour. Garon had given his permission, but not before rejecting Camilla's pleads to allow Corrin to move into the castle. The usual arguments had been brought up, but in the end, Garon stubbornness was greater than Camilla's and he had reaffirmed his decree that Corrin would be forbidden to leave the citadel until he could best Xander in a duel.

His attention drawn to a commotion at the front of the convoy, the prince urged his horse into a trot, the soldiers parting to allow him passage. Xander allowed himself to relax a little once he noticed that the cause of the commotion was naught but a lone rider wearing Nohrian garb, but the rider's obvious distress and exhaustion still left the prince feeling ill at ease.

"Your highness!" the rider cried in relief, getting down on one knee and bowing his head. "I beg of you, we require your assistance!"

"I will aid you however I can, but I must know what the problem is."

"The barrier just up ahead has broken down and we don't have the resources to fix it completely. We've already lost five good men to an undead wyvern and I don't know how much longer we can hold out."

The immediate and most obvious question Xander asked himself was how they could not have the resources to fix the barrier, as every city was granted the necessary amount of white magic in order to fix at least one major breach as part of their annual funding. Those questions would have to wait until he could question the city's marquis, the more pressing matter at hand would be fixing the breach. Xander turned to the other cavalry and gave his orders.

"Inigo, you stay here with the majority of the soldiers. If there's been a breach than the air will be contaminated with dark magic and you lack the resistance to it that native Nohrians have. Strategists, you're with me!"

Inigo nodded in confirmation and moved to join the rest of the cavalry while Xander, Peri and the strategist class soldiers rode ahead to the site of the breach. The smell was what hit the prince first; the smell of sulfur and rotten meat that was all but synonymous with raw dark magic. It was faint at first, merely mildly irritating but as they drew closer to their destination the repugnant odour grew stronger and more nauseating to the point that Xander found himself actively resisting the temptation to vomit. By the time they reached their destination and saw the group of mages, their guards and the hastily constructed barricades they were using for cover, the dark magic in the air had become so concentrated that he could feel his skin crawl with its mere presence and the mist that had leaked through the barrier ensured that he could barely see in front of him, the only evidence of anyone near him being vague and featureless outlines.

"The Crown Prince of Nohr himself! Please forgive me for speaking so informally, but I'm so glad to see you I could actually kiss you right now!" one of the shapes, presumably the chief sorcerer sighed happily, a sentiment that was shared by her colleagues if their cheers were anything to go by.

"Again, forgive me for speaking so informally. My name is Lucie Babineaux, Chief Sorcerer of Seine-Saint-Denis, graduated top of my class from the Institute of Maintenance at the Windmire University of the Magical Arts."

"I've been told that you lack the resources to fix the barrier. Is that true?"

"Mhmm. Marquis Julien has been wasting our stock of light magic on trivial injuries for the last few months. A lot of the more extreme rumours you'll here aren't true, but I know for a fact that he used a heal staff on his wife as a pain killer for a tibia fracture."

Xander frowned, lamenting the lack of morals these new nobles displayed and wondering just how rampant corruption had grown in the ten years since the end of the concubine's infighting. The prince made a mental note to interrogate the marquis about his wasteful use of rare resources before a sound from beyond the barrier drew his attention. The prince wasted no time in dismounting and readying himself for battle as both the repair team and his accompanying soldiers similarly prepared themselves. All eyes were pointed in the direction of the noise despite their inability to see whatever was causing it, although Xander felt like he could just barely make out a shape in the distance.

The shape started rapidly closing the distance between them, charging towards the Nohrians with obviously hostile intent. Xander reflexively threw up his shield just in time to catch an attempted bite from the beast. The weight of the impact nearly knocked Xander off his feet, but the Nohrian prince was able to stand his ground and managed to peer over his shield to get a look at his bestial assailant.

As expected, the beast was the undead wyvern that the rider had spoken off. It hadn't been dead for long, seeing that most of its body was still intact and showing no signs of decomposition. However, nearly the entire left side of the corpse's body, from the side of its head, to nearly the entirety of the left wing and all the way down to the calf of its hind leg had been stripped entirely of flesh and muscle, leaving only bone and exposed internal organs that dangled grimly out of a hole in its rib cage.

"Looks like it was slain by gluses." Xander noted before returning his attention to his assailant, noticing that the deceased wyvern was trying to extend its jaw over his shield. Xander took a step to the side, allowing the wyvern to stumble forward in the absence of a resisting force before bringing Siegfried down against its head, the weight of the sword crushing the skull and sending fragments of bone flying in all direction. Knowing that the undead were more than capable of fighting with missing body parts, the prince continued to hack at the beast, landing devastating blow after devastating blow until it was reduced to nothing more than a bloody smear across the ground laced with tiny fragments of bone.

"Goddamn…when they say you're the strongest warrior in the kingdom, they are not kidding."

"Strongest active warrior" Xander mentally corrected to himself, bitterly remembering that even with the Rainbow Sage's blessing that he'd yet to best his father in a duel, a fact that troubled him deeply.

"It was nothing. Such a creature could've been defeated by any malig knight."

"Hah! Don't even get me started on those guys. I've heard rumours about their initiating and I'm convinced that they're all insane. You'd have to be to willingly put yourself through that kind of training."

Forcing down unpleasant memories of his short-lived aspirations to join the malig knights himself and the unexpectedly brutal training it took to even become a wyvern rider in the first place, the prince nodded his agreement and prepared to resume his position defending the breach before something flew past his head and struck one of the repair crew's workhorses. The equine panicked and it was only then that Xander noticed the sizzling noise and the smell of burning flesh. The horse started running around wildly, nearly trampling the mage that tried to grab it's reins before stampeding to the outside of the barrier and was immediately bombarded by several globs of the same substance, leaving Xander to watch with disgust as the flesh and muscle on the areas struck dissolved and melted away. The prince would've expressed revulsion at the sight if his attention wasn't immediately drawn to the multitude of wet, slimy noises beyond his vision.

The prince recognised it as the very unpleasant sound the gluses made when they moved before he heard what sounded like a phlegm-filled cough and reflexively threw his shield up once again, just in time to block a glob of a viscous, light-grey substance that was aimed at his head. The prince looked around and noticed that the horses of several of his soldiers had been struck, whined with pain and throwing their riders off their backs in panic. The strategists who hadn't ducked behind the barricades for cover were hurling spells in the general direction of their attackers, hoping to strike one of the beasts. Xander himself took a few pot-shots with Siegfried before running behind the barricade himself, looking around to make sure his horse was safe and sighed with relief when he noticed that a member of the repair team had led her behind the barricade.

"Why are we taking cover? I wanna kill 'em!"

"No Peri. You won't even make it to the edge of the barrier before they shoot you down."

"But what if-"

"No Peri. Just wait." Xander said irritably, looking over to where the strategists had been moments ago. As expected, the gluses trademark accuracy had held true and most of the horses had been struck down in the opening volley with pin-point accurate headshots, the only horses still alive being those that had hidden behind the barricade before the ambush. The stranded strategists, forced to use their own deceased mounts as protection were now peaking over their makeshift cover. One of the magic users tried to make a run for the barricades, but narrowly avoided the barrage of acidic projectiles by diving to the floor. Her companions returned fire with their lightning tomes, managing to strike a few of the gluses with their assault if the shrieks of pain were anything to go by and allowing their companion to scramble back behind the fallen horses.

The sole comfort of the situation was that Inigo and the other crusaders would be safe where they were. No beast would go near their location while there was a breach in the barrier but even then, it still meant that every monstrosity within a mile radius would be converging on their location. Xander leaned past the barrier and pointed his blade in the general direction of the gluses and fire three beams of dark energy in said direction before leaning back behind the barricade and sighing wearily as the gluses return-fire slammed into the barricade with dull and heavy thuds.

"I don't suppose you can fix the barrier from here?" Xander asked Lucie, considering asking the strategists to just throw their staves over to them so they could fuel the repair tools.

"No, and even if I could I still have to finish inscribing the runes."

"Terrific." Xander sighed, his gaze drawn to a scream of agony from the stranded strategists as one of them failed to duck behind cover in time and had his arm struck with the acidic sludge.

"Hopefully Camilla's having a better evening than I am."

"I wonder if Xander's doing well. He's probably resting in Seine-Saint-Denis by now." Camilla thought to herself as she walked across the bridge to the Northern Fortress, almost unable to take her eyes off the sky. With the mountains surrounding the fortress preventing the mist from infesting the area the sky was clear to see. Of course, it wasn't all that much to look at; being nothing but green-tinted storm clouds blocking out the sun as far as the eye could see, but that was still infinitely preferable to endless goddamn mist.

"Your highness." The guards at the gate said, bowing deeply as she walked past them and straight towards the keep.

"You won't find Corrin in the keep Lady Camilla." A voice from behind her spoke. The lilac-haired princess turned around and found herself face to face with Jakob. "His dragon vein is manifesting, so he's confined himself to the dungeon for now."

"Oh! That's wonderful news! What's his affinity? Wait, no, don't tell me. I'll see for myself."

Jakob bowed deeply as the malig knight turned and started heading towards the dungeon. Camilla tried to put on a brave face and trick herself into being happy. Corrin had manifested his dragon vein! He was becoming an adult and his draconic heritage would ensure that they could spend several centuries together as a family, around nine hundred years if Iago's math was anything to go by and as much as Camilla detested the arrogant sorcerer, he was good enough at his job that she had no trouble believing his estimates.

But it also signified an end to the beautiful lie they'd spun around him; that he was a part of their family and a sibling of theirs by blood. They could lie to him about his heritage; the cover story was that he was half-Hoshidan after all. They could lie about his appearance; obviously, he took after his mother for his appearance and not all children resembled both parents.

But they couldn't lie to him about his affinity. If he was a member of the Hoshidan royal family, then he would manifest an affinity that had never been recorded in the entire history of the Merovingian family line and then what? The differing types of affinities between the two families had been well-documented by a Nestran history scholar and it was well within Corrin's ability to acquire her studies if he hadn't read them already.

As Camilla finally reached the entrance to the dungeon, she couldn't help but imagine how he would react and how their relationship would suffer. Would he hate her? She wanted to tell him the truth, she really did but Garon would never allow it. He'd have her head on a stake within moments. Fearfully, the princess turned the door knob and pushed, but the door didn't move. She pushed harder, but the door didn't budge an inch.

"Hrmph. Stuck."

Being nowhere near in the mood for such difficulties, Camilla took a deep breath and threw all of her strength and weight into the door, forcing it open.

"W-what…?"

It was then that the princess noticed that the door had been frozen shut by ice and snow, as well as the floating orbs of water that were continually freezing and melting. Snow fell from the roof and melted as it touched the floor before freezing again. Camilla reached out and caught one of the orbs of water as it froze and watched with awe as it melted in the palm of her hands, soaking her violet glove and coating it in a fine layer of frost.

"Water? His affinity is…water?"

The very first thought Camilla had was wondering how it was possible for his affinity to be water when the Nestran scholar's study concluded that the water affinity was exclusive to the Merovingian family line. The train of thought didn't go any further than that, however, before she felt an overwhelming sense of joy that the beautiful lie could limp on for a while longer, concealing the ugly truth that she never wanted to reveal or even acknowledge.

The princess started to shiver, the drastically lower temperature of the dungeon now taking effect on the malig knight. The princess responding by channeling her own affinity, the familiar and pleasing warmth spreading throughout her body rapidly and driving the chill from her body as the icy floor beneath her feet melted as she walked down the stair, sabatons clacking loudly against the stone and echoing throughout the building and as she rounded the corner, she saw both of Corrin's maids exit one of the cells.

"Lady Camilla." Flora said as the twins bowed deeply like everyone else had thus far, but not before her sister nearly tripped over her own feet. "Would you like to be alone with Lord Corrin?"

"I would."

She gauged the maid's reaction more out of habit than anything else, but she couldn't help but notice the quiet resentfulness in the blue-haired one's eyes. It was confusing at first, but then she remembered that Flora was the one who knew the truth of their situation. Camilla made a mental note to keep an eye on her in the future, who knew what she'd attempt in the future. But again, she'd think about that more latter. The princess walked to the cell that the two maids were just inside and smiled brightly as her eyes fell upon her beloved sibling.

"Corrin! It's been far too long!" the princess said joyfully, ignoring the brief surge of guilt over her acknowledgment that she hadn't been as diligent with her visits as she would've liked. But she was here now and that was all that mattered. Or at least that was what she told herself as she pulled the prince into a spine-crushing hug. "Oh I'm so happy to see you!"

"Cam-ack! Too tight! Too tight!" Corrin managed to wheeze in between desperate gasps for air. Camilla loosened her grip, but only so she could ruffle his hair and pull on his cheeks and cooing about how much he'd grown, even though it had only been a little more than two months since her last visit.

"So, how have you been sweetie? How's physio going? Oh, and your tome proficiency as well."

"They're both going…fine, I guess." he sighed wearily before sitting down on the bed, looking disturbingly melancholy for someone who was usually so happy to be visited.

"Is something wrong darling? You seem upset."

"Hmm? Not really, just thinking about stuff."

"Let me guess; it's about your longevity isn't it?"

That got his attention she noted, watching with slight amusement as he turned rapidly with surprise and confusion in his eyes. The prince asked the lilac-haired woman how she knew and was met with a light chuckle as she sat down next to him on the bed and pulled him into another, albeit far gentler hug.

"I was your age as well darling, as was Xander. Everything you're going through now is something we've already experienced. Now then, you know you can tell me anything right?"

"Mhmm." He hummed in agreement, albeit a little more hesitantly than she would've liked.

"Good. Now relax and tell big sister all about what troubles you."

"I'm terribly sorry milord. I should've been there to help you."

"The barrier was breached, Inigo. There was no way you could've been present without being at risk of developing Necroplasia."

"True, but I still feel bad for not being with you when I was needed. Guess I'll just have to pick up the slack next time, eh?" the navy-haired retainer chuckled and for a moment, Xander was able to forget the throbbing pain that surged through the entire right side of his face. Speaking of which…

"So, erm, Lord Xander?"

"Yes Inigo?"

"That's an awfully nasty bruise. What happened?"

"I was caught off guard by a carnifex."

Inigo chuckled somewhat smugly at that, remembering that Xander had specifically mentioned carnifexes during his warning about being prepared for an ambush by the wildlife. The retainer was just about to make a quip about irony, but Xander had obviously expected him to do so if his cut-off remark was anything to go by.

"Do I need to put you under house arrest again Inigo?"

"Erm, no milord. I don't think that's necessary."

"I thought so." Xander said, turning his head to conceal his amused smile. Well, half-smile at any rate, considering that the right side of his was face numb and swollen to the point of immobility. It helped hide his amusement to be sure, but it definitely wasn't worth the pain. Still, Seine-Saint-Denis should be close by and the prince was definitely looking forward to some R&R after the day he'd had.

Almost as soon as the thought occurred to him, the high-rising and heavily-fortified wall of Seine-Saint-Denis came into vision, the barrier deviating from the rigid lines of the road to circle the wall, the ramparts periodically lined with Fire Orbs to defend against the local fauna and potential invaders. The gate opened slowly as they approached and Xander sighed heavily, wanting nothing more than for the day to just end after several hours of fighting off the sickening abominations native to Nohr.

The gate slammed shut behind the soldiers with a heavy thud, but it brought no relief to anyone. They'd all lost comrades today; the Percheron Crusaders having lost their trusty steeds and the repair crew having lost far more than that. So when Xander noticed the marquis of the city had come to greet him personally, Xander felt nothing but cold resentment and a desire to punish this man to the fullest extent of the law.

"You and your companions can go, take some time to mourn. I'll handle this." The prince said to Lucie, who could only offer an empty smile and a nod in response before breaking away and heading down the street to the left. Xander watched her go sadly before his attention was drawn to the annoyance before him.

"Welcome to Seine-Saint-Denis your highness! It is my utmost pleasure to welcome you to my glorious cit-"

"There was a breach in the barrier outside your city, a breach that should've been your responsibility to fix." Xander started to say as he dismounted. "It has come to my attention that you have been using light magic for purposes other than maintenance of the barrier and treatment of potentially lethal injuries."

"But milord I-"

"My Percheron Crusaders lost thirteen horses as the result of a glus attack. You lost five of your own citizens to an undead wyvern, one to the same gluses, two to widowmakers and three to a carnifex. All because they didn't have the required resources to fix the breach as a direct result of your wasteful use of light magic."

"Bu-"

"You should be well aware, inappropriate use of light magic can carry a sentence of up to eight years in a labour camp. So you'd better have a very good reason for your wastefulness or else I will have you tried for negligence and misuse of Class-A resources."

"But that's where you're mistaken your highness. Light magic is no longer a Class A resource, as decreed by King Garon himself two months ago."

"You're wrong. I was not informed of such a change."

"Perhaps that's because his majesty has not announced the change publically as of yet. If you'll forgive me for proposing such a theory, I've heard the two of you have been butting heads as of late over policy, so perhaps he did not wish you to know."

Xander was stunned by this revelation; while he would not put it above his father to do such a thing given how much he'd changed over the years, especially considering that he hadn't returned from suppressing a rebellion in Burgundy until about a month ago, which would've allowed the king to make the necessary changes without him noticing. However, some small and naive part of the prince refused to believe such a thing without evidence. Garon was nothing if not pragmatic, so what possible reason could he have for making it legal to waste the rarest resource in the kingdom.

"Interesting. I don't suppose you'd have evidence to back up this claim."

"Of course! I didn't learn that you'd be arriving until after I dispatched the repair team, so I feared this would occur. Here's the decree by his majesty the king, sent out to every Nohrian noble and here's my monthly resource expenditure report, approved by the Department of Resources."

Xander took the paperwork out of the marquis' hands and started pouring over it almost obsessively, hoping that he could prove the marquis wrong. Unfortunately, as Xander read the paperwork presented to him, he began to realise that the marquis was right. From the royal decree that light magic was no longer a Class A resources, signed with King Garon's personal seal to the resource report which definitively proved that not only had he indicated all his uses of light magic but that the Department of Resources had found nothing to be wrong with his usage.

"I trust you'll find everything in order."

"Yes." The blonde paladin said plainly, unable to process the myriad of emotions flowing through him and handing the paperwork back to the marquis.

"Excellent! Now then, I'm afraid I have many important matters to attend to. If you have any further questions, just let me know and I will assist you however I can."

The marquis bowed briefly before turning on his heel and walking down the main road towards the City Council building, leaving Xander to contemplate what he'd learned. Inigo waited several seconds for Xander to give his orders or even react, but it seemed the prince was lost in his thoughts.

"Are you alright milord?"

"I'm fine Inigo." the blonde responded flatly, his emotionless tone not exactly reassuring.

"Hmm. Well this has been quite a hectic day, hasn't it? I wonder what the rest of the journey will be like."

Xander couldn't say for certain how the rest of his journey to Loreon would go, but the paladin had a cynical suspicion that it wouldn't be pleasant by any stretch of the imagination.

MISCELLANEOUS LORE

Necroplasia: A medical condition nearly exclusive to the nation of Nohr brought upon by over-exposure to dark magic, typically in its raw form. Early symptoms include hair loss, sallow and flaking skin and an increased appetite. Late-stage symptoms include sudden and rapid aging, loss of muscle mass, rotting of the gums and teeth and eventual death due to tumour growth on the heart, lungs and bone marrow, a fate so painful it is customary to euthanise those who begin to suffer from late-stage symptoms.

Edited July 29, 2016 by Phillius

[Metal Flash]

I have a few ideas for a rewrite of Birthright. Let me know what you think of them, like what can be changed or improved.

- Yukimura stays behind at Castle Shirasagi (hope I pronounced that right) for safety reasons

- Corrin`s army heads back to help after they recieve the letter from Yukimura

- Silas is the traitor and is actually fought alongside Iago in chapter 25/26 (don`t remember which it was). He also did not believe Ryoma`s claim about helping restore Nohr after the war

- Flora does not kill herself, though she could still die

- One or more of the Nohrian siblings join Corrin (not sure which)

- Velouria and Selke are the daugters of Keaton and Kaden respectivly, though their mothers are never seen nor named. Selke most likely joins alongside Kaden, while Velouria is fought alongside Keaton.

- Felicia is told (by either Kilma or someone else) about how she and Flora ended up in Nohr.

- Hinoka saves Kaze and Corrin from falling into the chasam at chapter 15

Edited July 31, 2016 by Metal Flash