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Saint Rubenio

The League shall fall if I'm in control - A bad tactician plays Berwick Saga, Ironman mode!

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1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Significa que "niños" tiene una ñ y eso no le gusta a los sitios ingleses.

ah, tiene sentido.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hey, don't complain. It could be speed.

...No, wait, that'd be good in FE.

Well, Marcus did get 3 strength levels in a row and 2 speed. Like this was in his first 3 levels, so that was epic. He murders way too much in fact!

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'm glad I am such an influence. World conquest is but a stone's throw away from my grasp.

Well not to be too much of an asshole, but a world conqueror wouldn't have lost Clifford.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Awww... I was hoping you'd make heads or tails of it for me.

I mean... more so because I don't know what all of it stands for, if I did I would read it, and you know that replying is already pretty long.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You play at school? Huh... I mean, I've spent the last two years playing flash games in class, but that's because I was studying a programming course and thus I get to have a computer at all times in class. I can't see how you could get away with it in regular school.

On my phone Ruben, kids these days have phones in class. I finish an assignment and I play on my phone.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You'd enjoy FE5. That's what everyone who loves it says. It's fun because you can break it.

Personally, I find that to be more of a flaw than anything. I hate how warpskip-heavy the lategame is.

Probably, but I just like puzzle-like design. Which I somehow managed to find in the mess that is FE7.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I was probably just exaggerating. And does the rant really surprise you? By now you should know you run the risk of triggering my ranting side every time you speak to me.

I don't dislike the rants actually. They are pretty intriguing at times.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's called Paranoia Agent and it's about how the world sucks, but also about how Detective Ikari's wife is the most amazing person ever and she deserved so much better. Oh, and not a single fanservice moment. That was great.

OOoooh! Though world-sucks tropes make me roll my eyes, it sounds good.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's still nowhere near yellow, but I can understand the confusion, given your color-blindness.

*sob sob sob* I... :'((( 

Quote

It's not that easy. I mean, have you seen my first sprites? Here, see if you can guess who the hell this is supposed to be.

kFhDmAz.png

Wrys? I wanted to hover over the image to cheat but no-can-do. Still, probably is Wrys.

1 hour ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hah! Well, patience. We'll see what happens.

now make it so she trips on her love-interest and touches his dick a la anime style hehehe...

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
9safuzgx o

Zweihander! This is Marcel's personal weapon. We'll check it out later.

drat I was hoping for "Cecily Obtained"!

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ons14mdv o...Ever since the Knights of Sinon arrived in Navaron, I've had to cut ties with so many associates... Perhaps I shall have to double my efforts to deal with them.

Holy fuck, no joke this entire thing with Valery would make for such an epic Anime arc.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o Oh? Is that so? How... interesting. Oh, I'd like to note that I enjoy Volcens's animations on the throne. He sits up to scream at Herman, then goes back to his usual "resting cheek on hand" pose. His sprite has a lot of personality, but I can't show it off all that well in screenshot format.

That does sound cool, and funny.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Fblhvnzn o

Txzubig9 o I wholeheartedly agree! Let's go, Padolf. Time to go. You two as well, Volcens, Herman...

Kek,  that moment when Ruben calls you out lol.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Pobpolog oI beg your pardon, Minister Padolf? You suggest that I condemn 50,000 innocent people to their deaths?!

Hxq4hdqj oNot all of them... Just the elderly, the children, the women staying at home...

Uedfz3v4 o You know, I feel rather filthy just by transcribing these words.

Hxq4hdqj oIn emergencies like these, we can only afford to save those who have some sort of use to the city.

Ok but the elderly can crop and raise animals if it's really necessary, children can be put to work too, and women can be nurses or do anything else! I mean, yes it's more mouths to feed but it's also more hands to work and to farm and nurse. This is a stupid idea.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Jhvoux35 o But do we have the manpower to undertake even such a small mission? And who in their right mind would undertake such a suicidal attack?

9qk5ifz8 o Gee, I sure do wonder who it'll be.

Definitely not that small band of knights that somehow still accomplish the toughest missions hmmm????

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Biklshgy o...R-Right... Growing cigusa herbs is very difficult, so there's only one place near the city that cultivates them... There's an old man who lives just by the southern end of Remagen Bridge. Once you find the house, ask for Matthew. He'll help you.

Ok number one, Adel your crush is pretty, good taste man.

But I can not condone asking Matthew for help, the FE7 thief has a 70% speed growth which is urgent to get and he never does! Bullcrap!

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
It5jyz7z o

Aawyimei oYes, Mother?

8xymwwsc o How many times before have I told you to take off your armor when you're in the house?

Aawyimei o No can do mom.

8xymwwsc o You even shower with the godess-damned thing!

Aawyimei o ... but mom... my armor looks cool!

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ps4nmuuw oWe tried to get General Ward to come as well, but he mumbled something about young girls and then left in a hurry to pay a visit to Mr. Erzheimer.

Kvbwgecb o...Oh.

At first I thought this was in the game until I plaid closer attention to the italic text being... well, italic. Lol.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Vyngllin o
 
That... was beautiful.

Indeed.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

7gbfesgo o

...Holy... Moly. That's... even more subtle than Runan's smile!

Woah!

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
D0tp5fiy o

Oh, snap! The world's most obvious plot twist! He claimed to not know Cowen, but he did! Most likely raised by him, even, which makes him Faye's big brother. I just hope they don't go down the same road as Reese and his own little sister-in-heat...

Anyway, this scene may seem to imply that Faye's casual mode is gone, but... nope. Faramir will continue to come and save her, as many times as it takes. I cannot thank him enough for that, I'll probably be needing his services a couple more times before the credits roll.

Incidentally, I'm probably going to have to hire Faramir once or twice. Faye's ending (which I've never seen, by the way - didn't use her in my second run, missed it in my first for reasons) requires that Faramir is permanently recruited. He needs 3 happiness, which should be pretty easy to get. Just gotta hire him when I get money. Some money. At all.

cool plot moment.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Q21djuia o

Aww, what a cute song...

Rbumtcrb oNo need to thank me. I just passed by 'em, and they made me think of you.

Axel has a daughter? Awwwww...

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o Try him. Reese will make a shady deal with some gullible guardsman to get him out of prison to fight. And then he'll double-cross that guardsman, because he's a monster without feelings or empathy! And a terrible smile, to boot!

Yeah, Reese does dubious things but for good reasons mostly. That's honestly cool, he's not absolutely nice guy or whatever.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Iv1k5ahl o

Rbumtcrb o......

8hngg5cj o...Papa? What's wrong? Please don't cry, Papa...

Rbumtcrb oI'll be fine, Ciel... Don't worry about me...

Awww..... so cute!

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

that last scene made me misty-eyed all over again. And I don't get misty-eyed often with fiction, let me tell you that much.

I also don't tear up much on fiction, actually I never have, and my expectation that I won't cry is probably why I never will from now on.

Also, 8hngg5cj oshould be named "cielo" so Axel can say "Mi cielo"

Btw you always post links to music and what not, listen to this. You'll hate it, then you'll love it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbB8mcM_xS8

Hated it right? Too much yelling and what not? Yeah well anyways, listen to this one too, it's epish. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oOTSWmyP2E

You're probably wondering "What's up with the MC? and... well just play the game, it's on PS2 and it's a blast.

 

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[Addendums/Edits]

Spoiler
On 9/5/2020 at 7:05 AM, Golb89 said:
On 8/19/2020 at 11:03 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

K6a8y571 o...I've decided to quit being a bounty hunter from now on. It won't blot out the terrible things I've done, but still...

Ps4nmuuw oDoes that mean you will also be leaving the mercenary business?

Meoilxpy oI see... In that case, I've nothing more to add. Welcome to the team, Sylvis.

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/0sanitymemes/comments/indm6d/frostleafs_recruitment/

fungh507ofl51.jpg

 

On 8/16/2020 at 10:05 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Almost at a level. If you recall, Arthur and Ruby both need to level up after being permanently recruited to promote. Arthur has long since reached his thresholds - he just needs that level. As for Ruby, I'm hoping she'll get that spear point today. Then we'll have two promotions next update!

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/hwbk58/arknights_comic_25_promotions/

w3da2s7g9kc51.png

On 8/19/2020 at 11:03 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

0oeawyck o...W-What have I gotten myself into...?

 

On 8/19/2020 at 11:03 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
P6kg00px o

9qk5ifz8 o Well, shit! The things a good ol' beatdown can accomplish. Maybe being so soundly defeated made him realize that either of them could die any day, and then he'd truly have lost everything...

0oeawyck oOh, Father...!

Meanwhile, elsewhere:

436c62bc-fd82-403b-96a2-10b15e0eabe8.jpg

(Yes, i know i already included this in my previous comment as a bonus, but this is how it was supposed to be inserted instead)

(And before you say anything about waiting, i did that post between 5 and 7 am so shut up!)

 

On 8/19/2020 at 11:03 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Poagzjwr o

Copjg1au oAs the Pope's holy champion, his orders are beyond question... He is forcing captive clergy like myself and my brethren to work like slaves to build the obelisks... He keeps his sword drawn at all times, ready to strike us down... For a so-called holy warrior, Chaos is terrifyingly cruel... I knew that if I didn't escape, they'd eventually kill me, so I slipped away at the first chance I had.

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/i76nse/arknights_comic_28_mines/

sieir80ly6g51.png

 

[Replies]

Spoiler
3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Bottom-line, be patient, damnit.

No!

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Hah! Please don't tell me you missed that reference, of all references. It would be completely unlike you.

I miss things all the times, so it actually wouldn't.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You misinterpreted him. I'm pretty sure.

Ask him directly then.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

What even is going on here? Why is everyone horny or clinically insane? Should I call the cops...? Or maybe I should call Benjamin. He'll solve this situation, I'm sure.

I don't think so.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Jesus... That shoots right past "so bad it's funny" and crashes headfirst into "so bad it's REALLY bad".

Uh uh...

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Whoa! Where the hell did this specimen come from?! That is so... completely unlike anything!

You've already seen him in "action" though.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Anyway, yeah, I think I'm gonna keep rooting for Benjamin for as long as we continue to talk about this game.

O RLY?

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Aaaaaaaaaaand it's been removed.

On 9/5/2020 at 3:35 AM, Golb89 said:
On 9/4/2020 at 11:58 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Also, that second post was removed.

You can still see the pic though, but anyway: https://www.reddit.com/r/0sanitymemes/comments/im7c8v/i_am_speed/

(That's where all AK's T-posts go now, including mine)

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Even this guy is horny and/or clinically insane. Who isn't honry and/or clinically insane, really? The random old guy?

Nope.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The image is [broken]

[[email protected]]

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I don't think they do. I mean, do we even pay our regular soldiers?

Pretty sure Volcens does.

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, please...

Incidentally, she indeed ended up "like her".

(Sort of)

 

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahhh, this world is going to shit, isn't it...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdWGp3HQVjU

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Part 56 - Charming mistakes.

Spoiler
On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Firstly, Faye and Faramir both take a couple vulneraries.

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/hrnq6n/arknights_comic_22_new_medicine/

sef2p1avx0b51.png

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Sigh... Vulneraries for all that will come today.

(This also goes in the list of "sorry, not sorry"s)

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

The map. See all those obelisks? They are breakable structures that grant the enemy 15% hit and avoid. We'll want to bring them down as soon as possible. Oh, and it probably goes without saying, but the swamp hurts units standing on it when a new turn commences.

enemy-installations-infographic.jpg

https://gamepress.gg/girlsfrontline/gfl-explained-hoc-combat-basics

gasgasgas.png

https://gfl.matsuda.tips/post/ct_red_zone#objective-1-strategy

Kaga did GFL first too!

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

You know, just once I want one of these edgy types to try this nonsense, trip over a rock and fall flat on his face. Please tell me one such clip exists. Where's Golb when you need him...?

Sorry, but this is the closest thing i have atm.

(Maybe, just MAYBE, something like that happened in Gintama though...)

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

52awezex oFace me and fight, you worms!

screen-0.jpg?fakeurl=1&type=.jpg

52awezex oWelp...

 

Also:

*Insert the whole "Faye vs. Chaos vs. Faramir scene" here*

7e826cb304b4d5ca11b51030d1769325.png

(Hope you don't expect a full translation of that one, because there isn't any)

(And really, i think even you could figure out the gist of it anyway)

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hah! I am neck-deep in sin already. I'm not even baptized! I'm going straight to hell, regardless of whether I destroy these obelisks or not.

https://www.reddit.com/r/girlsfrontline/comments/bzci6u/now_lets_count_up_your_sins_oc/

rwbsh0qybq331.jpg

(I was actually saving this one for you-can-guess-who,but eh)

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
9808gq77 o6urc3e0h o

Next turn it'll go down.

Eh...

hoc-structure-bombardment.gif

enemy-structure-destroy-occupation.gif

... amateur!

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Sherlock shoots the obelisk. I don't know how a couple arrows could hope to bring down a huge stone spike, but sure.

They probably contracted their construction to an italian company...

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Copjg1au oWhat?! You, too? What's wrong with everyone today? Stop swimming in the damn swamp!

(And many other of this guy's quotes i'm not gonna bother adding here because this post is already taking two days to make)

bce80c33-fdd0-4f3e-a703-9161a6cdb9e5.jpg

  

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Copjg1au oHuh? Who are you!? G-Get away from me! I'm just the healer...! Y-You wouldn't attack a defenseless healer, would you?

Bda25u8h o......

Copjg1au o(Heh heh heh... he's not attacking me... I think he bought it. And now, as soon as he lowers his guard... with my mace... Eheh heh heh!)

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/inumqd/im_a_healer_but_featuring_gavial_shining_and_saria/

lbokcvwdill51.png?width=960&crop=smart&a

dslsm7wdill51.png?width=960&crop=smart&a

xoa0pvwdill51.png?width=960&crop=smart&a

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Sfpzdzg6 o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JU5LMG3WFBw

 

f13c8a63-788a-4a49-a18a-3dc6b43066a1.jpg

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Ojdcezvo o

...I instantly realized this was a mistake.

Etg9nz47 o

And of course he nails him this time around.

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

C'mon, Percy. You always miss. Make the enemy miss too.

Rmvj4lan oZ9ad3fxq o

Percy... Why must you be such a constant disappointment?

f1602bc6-a66b-469b-a4d1-913ddd20185d.jpg

 

4067bfe2-dd4c-472f-a557-5d445f4f5f0f.jpg

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Xbta8m7o oZhpnbsqo o

It's a sad day when Perceval succeeds where someone else failed.

Copjg1au oGYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOW WAS THAT NECESSARYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!? ITBURNSITBURNSITBURNSITBURNSITBURNS!

a4f9b288-1785-4055-96df-eee024a554ee.jpg

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh wow, a spear point. 14 to go... Huh. I still think he'll never make it, but... Huh. Promoting Adel would be the perfect event for this LP to match all the others in terms of ridiculousness

77a3d998-5f38-48ca-a825-1a82246c6085.jpg

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Copjg1au oB-But... the man... could it be--

Immagine2c.jpg

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ugg0cmtj oSo long, pal. Maybe we'll see each other again one day. In the meantime, keep being such a devoted fan! Toodles~!

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Koiftcij o

Quote

nxkge367ej251.jpg

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Ptp8zkev o

Oh, please... No time for naps, Perceval! I don't pay you to sleep on the job!

7ed04c6b-00bd-4d37-9916-5a26be18b8d4.jpg

 

43f86aad-4e2a-4492-bb1d-c323b554605a.jpg

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
C5imlecs oQwnx7qgh o

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
A9hrb3my oMh9dhwwq o

77d80168-15c8-4a4a-94de-7b028c31915f.jpg

dfd29529-367f-4c88-8060-68bb90350561.jpg

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Next time, we watch the aftermath to this mission, and move on to the next. I think I'll do Stolen Sword

https://www.reddit.com/r/KemonoMichi/comments/e8ni69/how_these_people_keep_on_losing_about_their_swords/

qz5qqn79kp341.png

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

The end of this seemingly neverending chapter draws ever closer... Farewell, and wait patiently for the next update! Adios~!

acaf3b4965ebaa081087377bd801864ff82818ac

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ugg0cmtj oHeh... One of these days you'll have to admit what a mistake you made when you left me.

Oaash4gb oYou just don't get it, do you, Raze?

Meanwhile, elsewhere:

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/gu5dhu/the_reason_why_kaltsit_is_your_ex_now/

ygcx4hlwk5251.png?width=640&crop=smart&a

 

[Bonus]

 

Edited by Golb89

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Spoiler

 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And, well, Owen is always great to have.

Assuming this battle won't take more then 20 turns, which it might well do.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Uedfz3v4 o What?! Not our ally Rosecchar! But he was such a great man! He wanted to execute his men for the crime of protecting innocents!

Well, there go all the siege engines.

I do actually like Our Ally Rosecchar. He seemed fairly dedicated when we meet him. So him instantly getting cold feet is both surprising but also feels appropriate considering his disdain for supposed cowards.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Jhvoux35 o I have no excuses. Clearly, I had a lapse in judgment.

Jhvoux35 o I shouldn't have allowed myself to be enchanted by his beautiful eyes.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Stqgibtb o...Guess I've no choice. All right, don't tell anyone, but... The truth is, the Empire is coming to attack this city directly soon. We soldiers will do our best to hole ourselves up safely, but if we lose, the city will be taken... If that happens... Well...

It's funny that Burroughs is lying here, considering it's pretty close to the truth anyway. There is nothing standing between Remagan and Navaron.

Or maybe he just takes into account that he probably won't be deployed for this mission anyway, so it doesn't make for good leverage.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Dw11itkf o

Presumably something that dismisses her value as a brilliant engineer, judging by what happened to Lumine.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Jnyzls3c oBut still... What if he's right? If the Empire captures this city, then what will happen to you...?

If it helps, considering how the war is going the city will no doubt fall with or without Burroughs.

Also, didn't you say that even if it wasn't for the money, you got your hands full with orders from the military? I mean, either way they will probably be used for the defense of the city.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Jnyzls3c oBut I still neeed at least enough to cover the material costs...

...just the material costs, eh? This might sound like he is handing that stuff over for cheaper, but 5200 denarii is actually the exact same cost as buying a Bronze Ballista and 20 Bolts from the shop.
...except if you do that you'd get a discount because of all the citizen requests. So technically it's actually more expensive.

 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Burroughs is a great utility unit only held back by his mediocre availability. He has 2 move and terrible stats, but they don't matter.

Well, it most certainly matters that he has a movement type that makes Derrick look like a flier. Everything that's not a road either costs 2 movement or cannot be crossed at all. So practically speaking, even with Hurry he can often move only 1 tile per turn. And I'm pretty sure that everything Derrick can't cross, Burroughs can't cross either. Don't know for sure because the Terrain page of Serenes Forest doesn't list the Special movement type for some reason. Might be a good idea to keep an Escape Stone on him, just in case he needs to bail out.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

There's a glitch that allows Burroughs to do so, but I don't know how to perform it,

Just have him unequip the ballista before moving. After he moves, the attack command will be available, just like with every other unit.

For something that's actually intended but I'm sure a lot of people miss, it's possible to turn Burroughs on the battle preparations screen by using the trigger buttons. Or whatever the T in LT and RT stands for. Sorry if you know that already.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Citizen request time. First off, long-lost dad.

A mission that strangely has nothing to do with Arthur.

With Belf, Arthur and Axel, seems like dads are sort of an unintentional theme of this chapter.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Tsv5se0h o...due to the plague.

Oh that's just great. Deployment limit for the map is a little low, so maybe I should skip out on one of the citizen request.

Let's see who I can leave on the bench:
I don't won't to deny Arthur the chance to find his father.
Without Axel, there will be some child murder, so he's coming along.
And Adel is needed for the goddamn plague. Guess everyone's coming along then. *urgh*
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That was wholesome enough, minus the real life parallels, I suppose. Next up, fancy tactical terminology.

I mean, you don't see Volcens running around telling everyone that the plague is just a hoax to make him look bad, that you can cure it by drinking bleach, defund organisations meant to combat the plague...

Although that seems to be mostly because he can't get his ass out of Roswick's chair. I guess that's why you shouldn't be sitting down wearing heavy armor.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ilrbpdns oBad design, awful craftsmanship.

But enough about Three Houses.
*rimshot*
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ilrbpdns oBut as we all know, there's nothin' in this world that's infinite.

Well, except for Volcens' stupidity and Intelligent Systems' lack of shame.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Azo59idz o

Kvbwgecb o Omae Wa Mou Shind---
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Tq6qoxkn o

Kvbwgecb o  Ah crap... Still need to work on my timing.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

(Notice, by the way, her new portrait. Her vest is red now. It's such a minor change that I don't even need to upload a new portrait)

Double convenient that Faye's promoted portrait was not even in Aethin's portrait dumb for some reason.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

7gbfesgo o

...Holy... Moly. That's... even more subtle than Runan's smile!

Right? I only noticed his portrait changed because this one is more blurry.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

89npk0dz oAnd so, as long as this war continues, let us share in the same glory and victory together.

Kvbwgecb o  Lord Reese, is everything alright?

Meoilxpy o Sorry. My eyebrows just relaxed there for a second.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Vnr7otde oDon't you get it yet? You're throwing your life away. No matter how hard you train, you'll never beat him alone.

Vnr7otde o Especially if you only trained for like... a week? How long did it take you to travel to Izmil and back?


Well, maybe she is a Saiyan, so she gets stronger every time she gets beaten to near death.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Kvbwgecb oJust like you've fought to protect me, I also want to protect others.

Kvbwgecb o Just maybe protect them in a little less creepy, stalkerish kinda way.

Vnr7otde o ...
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sofj1tk4 oYes. We must have the wisdom to restrain ourselves. In learning to become a killer, we must also learn how not to kill.

Seems like a pretty good lesson to learn if Chaos was someone Faye might not necessarily want to kill. So I can't help but shake the feeling that this is somewhat of a leftover from whatever previous version of the story that would have included "Fana".

Of course in the final version it still works well enough in a "control your passion" kinda way.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh, snap! The world's most obvious plot twist! He claimed to not know Cowen, but he did! Most likely raised by him, even, which makes him Faye's big brother. I just hope they don't go down the same road as Reese and his own little sister-in-heat...

Of course Cowen being Faramir's master doesn't explain a whole lot. Like, if Faramir was Faye's sister and/or Cowen's student, how come they don't know each other? Faye said when they first talked that Faramir's style reminded her of someone other then her father, but if Cowen really is Faramir's master, then that implies that the person Faye remembers is Faramir himself rather then some unknown mystery master. And where does that whole "I was thrown away like thrash" thing fit in?

Doesn't exactly help that the portrait dump shows evidence about rewrites in Faye's story: I mean, we got Raze Priest Cowen, as well as edgy Faye and Chaos.
So if Faramir isn't explained in story, I'm not convinced he makes sense at all. He might just be a leftover from earlier drafts that they didn't manage to refit into the final version, or something like that.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Incidentally, I'm probably going to have to hire Faramir once or twice. Faye's ending (which I've never seen, by the way - didn't use her in my second run, missed it in my first for reasons) requires that Faramir is permanently recruited. He needs 3 happiness, which should be pretty easy to get. Just gotta hire him when I get money. Some money. At all.

Even if you never use Faramir, his Cutlass his nice to have. It's only Rank 20, so at least Ward can use it. As well as Reese if he is at least level 13.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ilbug86p oI thought you'd say that... But we both know that's not true. You told each other everything.

Well, I can't exactly see Doros and Axel as best buds, to be perfectly honest.
 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ilbug86p oWhoa, easy there! You wanna make a scene here? You don't want another run-in with the law, do you?

Careful buddy. Hide + Pulverize. No one would ever know. Or care.


Next time on Berwick Saga:

Spoiler

 

 

 

Edited by BrightBow

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11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Clearly the image is cursed. Be honest, does it surprise you?

Cursed with the souls of the dead he punned. It's like one of those swords with a curse because it has too many kills in TRS.... but it's an image.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I see the AVGN is in you. 😛

Occasionally, yes.

does his wife know?

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'm glad I am such an influence. World conquest is but a stone's throw away from my grasp.

Just don't land it on the library roof. (I need to stop this. I'm turning into Elbert)

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

This makes a lot of sense. Funny how falling behind ironically left Marcel closer to the target.

Push a negative hard enough... and it will break through an become a positive.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

He already has 97% with his regular shields at the time of writing. That's... damn awesome.

Well, on one hand he'll block everything.... on the other, can he block attacks he doesn't need to?

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

This has to be the most incompetent slaver I've ever seen.

Presumably because the middleman is a moron. Either that, or without you there, the Wyvern massacres them instead because of my egg theory, and Cecily escapes in the confusion... possibly with Serkis' help.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

"Happily", are you fucking kidding me? I'm not happy! Why would I be happy with this outcome!? I'm gonna have to bait ballistae with Thaddy! Thaddy!

That sounds like a recipe for disaster.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Too bad about the Ironman, no? Fuck this map... I should've just skipped it!

Yeah... doesn't seem like a map you can do much about except hope it works the way you want.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Then we could call it War's Beard, and it'd be a very Sun Tzu-esque title.

Or alternatively, Ward could take up painting and open a gallery. The Art of War. Erzie would probably fund it.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

I love how you managed to come up with a pun for Aleatory Old Guy.

I mean, at this point it's life advise.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

Good headcanon. I'll take it.

I mean, it literally explains every facet of the A.I. and fits with what we know about the slavers. Also it gives an excuse as to how Cecily could escape unaided if you skip the mission. As far as my theories go, this one actually just fit.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

He's the second-worst con man I've ever seen!

Pollux disappointed counter:4

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o ...Was what? "A great plan"? "A mistake, I apologize"? Or, no, wait... "your idea"? Did Herman use you as a means to put this absolutely bonkers idea into Volcens's mind without risking his own credibility? Nah, that can't be... Herman isn't so much of a snake. Is he?

Makes more sense than Herman being reasonable for once.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Thankfully, I am an omnipotent entity within the Berwick Saga universe, so I know who this person is. Getting to him will be another matter altogether, though...

Omnipotent means being able to do anything. It's omniscience that means having access to all knowledge.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ilbug86p oHave you forgotten all that we've been through together, Axel? Don't you remember seven years ago? You, and me, and Doros... We were after that merchant ship in the harbor here in Navaron.

A pirate named Doros. I wonder if he became soil.

11 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 You told each other everything. I know you and Doros both hated me, even back in our heyday. And all the plotting behind my back... You were planning on bumping me off to get a bigger share of the loot!

Plot twist. Doros moved to Archanea and changed his name slightly.

 

 

Edited by The Roger The Paladin

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On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Good ol' Ninty. The one time they offer the soundtrack for something, it's missing tracks for no reason. "One step forward, three steps back" seems to be their motto. Goodness, at this point I think the only thing I like about Nintendo are their games. In every other aspect they suck hard. Which, hey, I suppose if you have to pick one aspect to be good at, make it the games, but... Sheesh.

  In fairness, it's advertised as sound selection, I always knew it wasn't the whole thing.

Whole soundtracks tend to be sold separately for a lot of IPs, if at all (Is there a soundtrack release for ACII for instance? Don't think it happens much with western games)

And there are ways of getting the rest of the music on there, it is a usb after all. 😉

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

You and your nitpicks...!

I'd argue it's like the wyrm's calling down a cold burst of wind after the initial breath, sorry for not being clear I was coming to an explanation.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Nuyrenmm o

Last time, we failed miserably to end the cycle of girls being enslaved by spanish people. Today... wait, Elbert?! But isn't he...

I see Lane tried to avoid being caught by robbing someone's look.

It was a bad call to dress as someone dead.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
69sic63j o

Rnwsddzf oJust look how fast she changed her tune going from you to me. Don't you think that's funny? What an idiot...

Ferdinand would like to have a punch with Lane.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Rlqt4d9d oA man like him will have many other crimes to be uncovered.

Lgjkwhcy o"A man like him"? He's the most conspicuous asshole in the world! He just laughed in your face, made the most half-hearted, piss-poor attempt at covering his ass, then confessed to his crimes for no reason at all! And let's not forget the "wet" line, too... How hasn't he been caught already? He's the second-worst con man I've ever seen!

This is Berwick under Volcens, where shittiness hides in plain sight.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Py0ct9zu o

Lgjkwhcy oAhahahah-- Wait, hold on a minute! Didn't we bring him to Savat, then? And... what do you mean, if he ever shows his face around here? I assumed we would lock him up tight! What the hell is going on? Surely we didn't just let him go, did we...?

I don't think it actually happened.

They probably didn't want to take the authority of a baby-faced knight, so they just took Lane away.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Ozxmuflh oYgovxgpy o

Marcel is training. In the dead of night, on a hill overlooking the sea, for some reason.

But nighttime training's the best training! And who knows, maybe his training partner left.

Rlqt4d9d o Chicken! Chicken!

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

9qk5ifz8 o Hurray! It's a happy ending! Marcel has discovered what it means to be a human bean! He's... still pretty bad at it, but at least he's trying now. He and Cecily have absolutely no chemistry at all, but... I guess they're better than Reese and Lynette, at least.

It's not Lynette's fault that Reese is Reese.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ons14mdv oFor this ugly matter to die out, someone has to die with it. Blood will satisfy the parties involved, and allow them to move on and forget about it. And, well... I'm afraid Gomez is far more valuable than you. That, and he actually got away. That certainly helps his case.

I mean Valery isn't wrong.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Jcjomn7c o

So, the Zweihander! 17 might, B durability, brave effect? What's not to love? This thing more or less fixes all of Marcel's problems as long as it exists. Well, all of them except the movement. But we're working on that.

50 hit could be better but that's Berwick.

It's gonna hurt if it hits.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Khvtmyi0 o

No music in the graveyard, only the sound of waves. Just saying, because I'm not sure if I have mentioned this before.

Anyway... fuck me, it's starting to look far too crowded for my liking... Also, why does Clifford's grave look so shitty?

I predicted this all those updates ago.

Did I do this?

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Ffrwnw6f o

I was hoping we would never see this, but this is the first of the bonus items the game hands over to the worst of the worst. Four dead units (unrecruited folks, like Esteban in our case, don't count - there needs to be a grave) nets us this charm.

Kaga was such a mad lad that he gives you shit when you start letting people drop.

That is such an insult from him. A "Git gud" if I've ever seen it.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
0zmgjhx8 o

17 avoid?! That's... huh. That's not bad at all, actually. I can give this to Faye and turn her into an unhittable juggernaut.

And it's legit good.

Faye won't need it in the same way, but my word is she going to be dodgy.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

2xdxkwpj oHerman! What has that cretin Rosecchar been doing?! I ordered him time and time again to take his 5,000 men and guard Fort Remagen with his life!

Jhvoux35 o General Rosecchar has lost his nerve and surrendered to the enemy, your Majesty.

Uedfz3v4 o What?! Not our ally Rosecchar! But he was such a great man! He wanted to execute his men for the crime of protecting innocents!

Rosecchar being nothing more than a bully who couldn't nut up?

I'm shocked!

Not really.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Jyaetwcl o

Lgjkwhcy o Oh? Is that so? How... interesting. Oh, I'd like to note that I enjoy Volcens's animations on the throne. He sits up to scream at Herman, then goes back to his usual "resting cheek on hand" pose. His sprite has a lot of personality, but I can't show it off all that well in screenshot format.

HMMMMMMMMM

Herman, you appointed a traitor?

Almost like you wanted Remagen to fall.........

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Fblhvnzn o

Txzubig9 o I wholeheartedly agree! Let's go, Padolf. Time to go. You two as well, Volcens, Herman...

Pobpolog oI beg your pardon, Minister Padolf? You suggest that I condemn 50,000 innocent people to their deaths?!

Hxq4hdqj oNot all of them... Just the elderly, the children, the women staying at home...

I see the only paydolf we're getting is that his name's befitting his monstrosity.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Hxq4hdqj oIn emergencies like these, we can only afford to save those who have some sort of use to the city.

Pobpolog oMinister Padolf, have you gone mad?! What would be left of this country after such barbarity?! This is my city. Its people are my people. Now hold your tongue!

Jhvoux35 o Calm yourself, Duke Roswick. If we did as Minister Padolf suggested, then the entire army would desert. Honestly, Minister, how could you even suggest such idiocy?

And that payoff is him being treated as the idiot of the room.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Gcupx1qp o

Lgjkwhcy o ...Was what? "A great plan"? "A mistake, I apologize"? Or, no, wait... "your idea"? Did Herman use you as a means to put this absolutely bonkers idea into Volcens's mind without risking his own credibility? Nah, that can't be... Herman isn't so much of a snake. Is he?

I mean, he is Gharnef.

I remain unsurprised.

Besides, no way he'd apologise.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
K7qiqmtx o

That was smooth. I imagine he was standing outside the chamber, ear on door, waiting for somebody to make the question so he could make his dramatic entrance.

Meoilxpy oThe Knights of Sinon will gladly accept this mission, Your Majesty.

Hxq4hdqj oYou again?! Have you not learned your lesson, boy? How dare you brazenly waltz into this chamber uninvited! Oh, I see how it is... You must have conspired with Duke Roswick again...

Lgjkwhcy o Conspired with Duke Roswick = accepting yet another suicide mission that may very well save all our lives, apparently.

Hxq4hdqj oMy plan was perfect. Surround the walls with the starving masses, they'd surely tear Raze apart. Right?

And Reese was just sitting there, ear to the door, grin on his face.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Aycyozsv o

Oh yeah, if you haven't noticed, Sienna's here. She's honoring her promise not to roast anyone. I can only imagine the pain she must be in...

@SienAAAAAAAAAAAAA: Having to play nice for my brother is torturing me. Also, if things had gone differently we'd have an empty city, so that thankfully was stopped.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
F0aog4m6 o

Lgjkwhcy o ...Uh... I-I do not remember this particular part, though...

We saw things from Reese's perspective, I assume from Burrough's point of view he heard that.

I don't know why though, he's not a SD ballastician.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ps4nmuuw oOne bronze ballista and twenty bolts,

Lgjkwhcy oIs it too much to ask that this costs 90D?

Ps4nmuuw ofor a total of 5200 denarii.

So what, 50 for the ballista and 2 per bolt?

Hell, is it 100 per bolt as it stands?

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

...Hello? Any time now, Tianna. Where's my letter?

Fwpqjf9k o

......

Ah, balderdash.

Well, if there's no money next month we know who you're going after:

LoZOSta.jpg

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Epxcq2gn oGiegh1of o

Well, Burroughs has joined us regardless. For some reason, he starts with 87 experience. Not sure what's up with that. Anyway, even if he's unarmed, let's talk about him.

Burroughs is a great utility unit only held back by his mediocre availability. He has 2 move and terrible stats, but they don't matter. His job is to hang back behind our lines and shoot bolts at things. Ballisticians in this game are extremely strong, and Burroughs is no exception. He has the following skills:

- Battle Cry on top of ballistae is a special sort of carnage.

- Armsthrift, always useful, more so when your weapon type is rare and expensive, as ballistae are.

- Hurry can help Burroughs to get to locations slightly faster.

- He doesn't have it now, but it's worth noting that he learns Aim at level 7. It helps him immensely, especially due to how ballistae work.

This guy can erase plenty of troublesome targets if you use him well. However, ballistae in this game require some proper thought to be used correctly. For starters, they cannot attack after moving. There's a glitch that allows Burroughs to do so, but I don't know how to perform it, and I'd rather avoid such tactics in this playthrough. Also, Burroughs, like all ballisticians, only covers one particular area in front of him. He needs to spend a turn turning around if he wants to aim elsewhere. Then there's the fact that he's extremely fragile and cannot dodge for shit. That... could be a problem.

In a few words, Burroughs can be a little difficult to use, but if employed well, he can be a great asset to the team. Enemy healers? Thieves escaping with loot? Troublesome archers with one thousand arrows chilling on top of an objective? Fear not, for as long as they do not have Arrowbane, Burroughs is on the case. And, in one particular case, even if they do have Arrowbane!

...Not just yet, though. He's unarmed, and even if he wasn't, I wouldn't dare to bring him to the next mission. We'll get to see him in the sidequests, though, never doubt it.

I mean, it's a Berwick Ballista.

We'll see if it's any good in a player's hands. But he did do a good job as an AI, so I'm not too concerned.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Tsv5se0h oI make a living by buying ingredients here in Navaron and selling medicines to villages around the countryside. But just recently, I went to a village only to find that it was quarantined...

Lgjkwhcy o Oh, dear. This is going places.

Tsv5se0h o...due to the plague.

Tsv5se0h oAnd it was bad enough with the Corona Virus even if it didn't make us sick.

SYLd2Je.thumb.gif.888624e5ce34a840abfb44Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............

Tsv5se0h oIt just caused all of us to act like we were kings. The town was vulnerable to the plague as a result.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
B7x0gebn o

Brighton?! First there was that one guy called Halvan, now Brighton. All right, then.

Where's Hicks?

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Lpp4nnkr o

Txzubig9 o Hahahahahahahahahahah... That line is so funny. Also, this is gonna be the sequel to Arkis, isn't it? Ah, well, no matter. Thankfully, I am an omnipotent entity within the Berwick Saga universe, so I know who this person is. Getting to him will be another matter altogether, though...

Arkis 2: Generic Boogaloo.

Dangit Kaga, are we going to see some shit again?

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ilrbpdns oWell, we've got all this equipment taken off Imperial soldiers... But even though it's made of quality stuff, it's honestly all a load o' junk.

Lgjkwhcy o I agree. 40% accuracy is no good.

Ilrbpdns oBad design, awful craftsmanship.

So that's why they all suck. No wonder most of the party killers have been bandits, they've more sense than to use that crap!

Meanwhile, Rubenio looking at FE:

Lgjkwhcy oBad design, awful craftsmanship.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

8xymwwsc oA Narvian soldier heard from a local that there was a man fitting his description in the town.

Aawyimei oAre they certain it was him...?

8xymwwsc oI cannot be sure... But they said he was wearing the uniform of an Imperial soldier.

It's that time again.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Vyngllin o

It's a shame that the damage is as low, but I assume she took a joke weapon for a second just to rub it in.

Or does Astra reduce damage here?

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

7gbfesgo o

...Holy... Moly. That's... even more subtle than Runan's smile!

It's really apparent he can't move his face much.

Lynette should encourage him to do face exercises, he might listen to her.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Lrnq7zeh o

Would you look at that Faye, you made a friend.

Remembers a certain face

......Yay?

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Geqllhwm o

Astra, Blade, and stats. Not bad, not bad at all!

Astra is as you'd expect. It has a long-ass cooldown, but when it is done charging up, you just use the command, and Faye will unleash a volley of five blows upon the enemy. In most cases, this will result in the enemy's painful demise. Temble in fear, Chaos! This girl's all powered up now, and not only that - she's got friends to back her up! Ahahahahahaha...

No complaints with this huh?

Also, least you can proc Astra.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Sofj1tk4 oWhat you still lack is not skill... That is the simple part. At its core, to master the sword is to become a master of killing others. In other words, those who follow the path become weapons themselves. Thus, we must make our own hearts into a sheath for that weapon.

Kvbwgecb oA sheath...

Sofj1tk4 oYes. We must have the wisdom to restrain ourselves. In learning to become a killer, we must also learn how not to kill.

Sofj1tk4 oYou must also learn how not to embarrass yourself with the demon drink with similar restraint. Unlike some........ unfortunate people I have heard of.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
P2gake0p o

Lgjkwhcy o Are you sure about that, Cowen? Because personal experience indicates otherwise...

Was sword saint also in Kaga's notes?

Because that would indicate Post-Kaga FE did it first.

And yeah, I doubt people would complain about your sainthood with Chaos attacking you.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Sofj1tk4 oThe devil inside us all must never be allowed to run loose. Use your gifts for what is right. Do you understand, Faye?

Sofj1tk4 oAlso, never use the Devil Sword! It is cursed!

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Pdlrawhd o

I don't know about Faye, but I'm pretty sure using my heart as a sheath would kill me.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Rbumtcrb o("Meet me at the tavern tonight... It'll be our special reunion..." Signed, Gibry.)

Oh no.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Rbumtcrb o(That's right... Gibry was always good with locks and sneaking around. He'd drug their drinking water and wait till they were all unconscious... Then, it was me and Doros's turn with the other guys. We'd clear out the place from top to bottom of all its loot.)

Axel..... Why must you be so detailed in your horrible past?

I don't want to get out the rant. Not for you. Not again.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o So that's how he became the best swimmer this side of Lazberia, huh... I have to say, this could be headed in a number of directions, and I don't like any of them.

Ilbug86p oWe grabbed all that we could and left the city with the loot. Then we stashed it until the owners stopped panicking about the theft and moved on with their lives. After that, Doros said we ought to go split it up between the group.

Rbumtcrb o(...But then they found us. The city's knights arrested us and killed most of our men, and the rest just scattered... That was the end of that. Come to think of it, Doros never did take the loot out of hiding... It's probably still there...)

So we're dealing with a treasure that might as well be cursed with how many bodies might be linked to it.

This...... won't end well. I just know that if this chapter's a pain some asshole's going to show up.

On 9/6/2020 at 11:00 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Mk5ns3lm o

Uedfz3v4 o Oh, no... they're going there, aren't they? Ah, blistering barnacles...

We indeed have got trouble.

So, life is seemingly being normailsed (At least that's how most every public figure wants it to be). I expect another local lockdown if there's another number spike. I've also apparently got a set of wheels, so that's something.

And on 3H: I had to restart chapter 10. Because I forgot something. It's been a bit faster this time thankfully, so I'm not too screwed or anything and even got A+ by then (which means I don't have to redo fistful of fishing, which would have been cause for Fistful of Hair Tearing), making the rest of Part 1 just stat spamming when in the monastery so I can get Caspar and Ferdinand. Hell, the paralogues I cleared weren't too bad (Even that really annoying monster only one, that was not so bad actually, Oil and Water was worse initially. And people said you can only really use 6 units! What are they at?)

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[Addendums]

Spoiler
On 9/7/2020 at 3:33 AM, Golb89 said:
On 9/7/2020 at 12:00 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Whoa! Where the hell did this specimen come from?! That is so... completely unlike anything!

You've already seen him in "action" though.

Twice, in fact.

(Or at least i think i posted that one before too)

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Copjg1au oFinally, someone competent!

6iyhnbot oUgjkir3u o

Copjg1au o...Why'd I have to open my mouth...

1.jpg

(Not sure how i managed to miss this one, but eh...)

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Cdmhndtw o

This guy is now completely defenseless. Might as well bully him a bit with daggers.

e5601a03-293a-4644-a4b9-138a317de839.jpg

 

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:

Copjg1au oN-No! Nononono, wait!

Bda25u8h oWhat? I'm just gonna rough you up a little bit. Nothing too bad, I promise.

Copjg1au oMonster! O Lord Raze, please save your humble servant...!

1.jpg

On 8/23/2020 at 12:02 AM, Saint Rubenio said:
Odardl94 o

Nice.

Quote

1.jpg

 

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Part 57 - Of thieves and dorks.

Spoiler
On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Zvbsl5tm o...See, dad? This is why I should've become a fisherman, like I wanted...

Quote

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On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o He's a known millionaire who cannot fight running around on his own with stacks of fat cash! Remember back when he wanted to hire a Raze priest? Even common mercenaries knew who he was, that's how infamously rich he is! For all you know, he might already have gotten his throat cut in an alley!

I'm sure he'll be perfectly fine...

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/f15usu/big_bully_energy/

f33tcvhkxuf41.png

... maybe.

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

O9h9g3ec o

Ahahahah... To say the least, man. To say the least.

Orz

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Okay. That done, let's go get ourselves a Stolen Sword.

EHmxaerUUAAnD5P.jpg:large

6DBOZ7B_d.webp?maxwidth=728&fidelity=gra

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Qzx3qn8n o

Lgjkwhcy o Actually, that's not necessarily true. There's too much forest in this Shrine of the Forest for horses to maneuver properly.

bs8NWU8m_o.pngBecause i'm a master tactician.

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Psnnujag o

Lgjkwhcy oNo, we haven't! That's my call, and I'll make it after these scenes are over!

Lgjkwhcy oBecause I AM a master tactician! Maybe.

(Incidentally, i don't remember if it's been already addressed/explained WAY back, but can't anyone in your army ride a horse, Kramer included?)

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Prte9f55 oThere's a legendary sword kept in the Shrine of the Forest. As I'm sure you know, Lord Reese, I'm rather fond of swords.

qj0EzbA_d.webp?maxwidth=728&fidelity=gra

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Meoilxpy oI see that you weren't joking when you said you were fond of swords.

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

9qk5ifz8 o Balmung, in norse mythology, is the sword of Sigurd. It is also known as Gram and Nothung. Sound familiar? Yeah, the game used two of this sword's names for two different blades. And here's the funniest thing: Nothung? It is ALSO used for yet another sword later on in the game. Which means that Kaga did The Last Promise first.

Does that mean the last boss will turn out to be Reese's father and he'll bail out of it even if you completed all of his [email protected] "man-up" sidequest?

311b5783-cf15-4959-bb48-91f856cb6653.jpg

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Prte9f55 oYou got it. When I was little, my mother would sing me to sleep with songs of Gistair and Alcyone... Gistair was great, as they say, but my favorite stories were always the songs of Alcyone... With Balmung in hand, she slew countless myriads of the king's foes! Just think of all the history that her sword must've seen over the years!

Prte9f55 oSo three years ago, when I turned 14, I ran away from home and joined the mercenary guild here in Navaron.

Uh uh...

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o Also, his backstory is that he's a child soldier. Amazing. Usually, they attempt to make child soldiers in FE semi-acceptable by making them thieves or mages. But here's Kaga, having this guy murder people by slicing them with sharp blades from the ripe age of 14.

Child mercenary, not soldier (yet): there is a difference.

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Prte9f55 oYou simply don't understand... General Ward, what could be more worth risking my life than love?

is9sLhF.png

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

3cxl4xfi oLove... for swords... You're right. I don't understand at all...

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Dva9rggl o

beii5m2crat31.jpg?auto=webp&s=5c829d4613

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Txzubig9 o Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah... heck, Erzheimer would probably react exactly the same way! Though in his case, I think his solution would be to go to the black market and buy it off the thieves.

Not if someone else beats him to it...

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Copjg1au o...Surely it couldn't have been Him... H-He acted nothing like how he's depicted in the sacred scriptures... I must've hallucinated that whole encounter... Yes, that's it... Between the bad air and my injuries...

Ugg0cmtj oKeep tellin' yourself that. Makes no difference to me, long as you stay faithful! Say, do you know any good pick-up lines? Methinks mine are pretty rad, but they don't ever seem to work on her...

Meanwhile, elsewhere...

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ugg0cmtj oHah! Smooth moves. What's your next excuse gonna be?

Copjg1au o......

212abf6537721ae5a9af7c2d9a7cfb376bb03ea8

 

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

And that'll be all for today. Next time, we go and rescue sword.

skjoxxxd5bu31.jpg

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Surprisingly enough, the sword won't be the main highlight of the map.

Hataage!%20Kemono%20Michi%20-%2004%20-%2

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Hbhv864l oH4i48wyp o

https://www.reddit.com/r/girlsfrontline/comments/dy99em/oh_dreamer_youre_such_a_cutie/

seh7ue19ciz31.png?width=960&crop=smart&a

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

J2xijiod o

maxresdefault.jpg

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

6pex9w68 o

Immagine1.jpg

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
J3drq8sc oItfaxdto oWajmgx4p o

tenor.gif?itemid=15115694

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Wxarnxg9 o

28e.png

 

On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

To be continued

659606.jpg

(Apply abundant doses of "Sorry, not sorry" throughout the whole thing)

 

[Bonus]

Spoiler

Immagine.jpg

 

[Bonus2]

Spoiler
On 8/25/2020 at 11:32 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

I need a medic bag:

On 9/7/2020 at 3:33 AM, Golb89 said:

sef2p1avx0b51.png

 

 

Edited by Golb89

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Part 62 - Critical Saga 4. I think it was 4, anyway. Wait, what was the format for this series of titles, again? "Critical Saga X" or "Critical Saga: Part X"? Damnit, I cannot remember right now... fucking hell, and I can't remember which update had the last Critical Saga title. Am I gonna have to go looking for it? I should just post it as it, nobody cares... oh, but then, the running gag might be ruined! Oh my God, now I've done it, the title looks like shit... Bah, who cares. Volcens is an idiot. There, that's all I wanted to say. I can go in peace now. Go to bed, I mean. It's kinda late. At the time of writing, anyway. I'm probably going to upload this in the morning. My morning, of course, for some of you it'll be night-time. Funny how that works, huh. I should probably stop already, shouldn't I? I don't ever have the restraint it takes for these jokes to be good. Always take them too far, too long, until they aren't funny anymore. Sigh... Okay, that's it. I'm gonna count to three, and then I'm gonna stop: one, two, three

8pq7puj5 o:
 
Spoiler
On 9/7/2020 at 1:03 AM, Benice said:
  Hide contents

BEST UPDATE 100/10 WOULD RECCOMEND

Hah!

Wait, what?! Oh geez, I'd best get on that. Good thing I have 70k gold!

Go!

Good luck! By the way, a strategy that worked for me was giving Faye the Miracle Charm and putting her into Obama n the boyz' range-she should dodge at least one of the attacks, will survive at least one thanks to the miracle charm and doesn't die permanently. Of course, there's probably some other way to do it... Maybe the Dusk charm would work instead? We'll see.

With the dusk charm, she has enough avoid that with certain weapons equipped they outright cannot hit her.

...Which isn't good. They don't attack her then.

Best boy!

Him!

...

I'm going to need a psychologist...

What? It's just Reese smiling. Which of the two Reesemiles do you prefer?

What happens if you don't do this sidequest? Does Adel's arc just end?

I would imagine so.

Wait...

For what?

Well...Um...

Ahahahahahahaha... that's too good.

Welp, I missed this one.

That you did. I hope I won't.

Well, Reese hasn't died yet...

Reese cannot be considered a "loved one", though. He's incapable of love.

Gosh dangit, I need to get to that TRS LP...

I recommend it. It's... about as much of a mess as all my LPs. But it has a tank in it!

Nope. That's why it hurt.

Jeez...

kSUjwsU.png

Lilina's death was also really sad. She was fine to tank Brunnya's bolting.

...Except this is FE6, so tomes aren't that heavy and Lilina was doubled and ORKO'd.

Okay, that's just bullshit right there.

Well, yeah. The maps in this game are annoying at the very worst, but aside from Devil in the Valley, I can't really think of any others that I dislike. Well, Chapter 6. But that's a personal vendetta.

Speaks volumes of this game.

...Though I might leave this mission with a burning hatred for it, holy shit am I scared shitless of chapter 9...

Speaking of which, do you intend to cheese Devil in the Valley? I really should have, but I wanted dat meteoric iron and I for some reason thought that the phoenix brace was an Erzie item. Still, nobody actually died, which was nice.

Probably won't. There are things I want. I... hope I won't regret it.

I'd guess so. I always die to a wyvern whenever they appear, without fail...

Oof...!

Nice. Yeah, I always thought that the opening theme was terrible until I listened to it outside of the emulation. Now it's my 2nd favorite from any game.

Yeah, I imagine it sounds pretty bad at 0.25 speed.

And yeah, Crusade kicks ass.

That said, I can say that about literally everything in this game. 2nd best in every way, and that is a very good thing.

I do not agree. 2nd is too low for me.

That's a negative side-effect! Webber is best Berwick Saga waifu! And it was nice to have green units that don't commit sudoku on the first enemy they see.

...

Well, not in gameplay, anyways...

Ahahahah... Ahhh, goddamnit. Well, that's the beauty of Ironmans, isn't it? I couldn't possibly show everything off due to casualties, which should inspire people to go and play the game themselves.

Webber x Harriet is my OTP! Elaine x Lucy is my other.

...Wha...

Okay, is there even a Lucy at all, or was that just a plain troll?

Elbert's death quote... I forgot that spoilers don't load right away and guess what I accidentally scrolled down to...

Ahhhhhh fuck. That's just unfortunate.

 

 

On 9/7/2020 at 2:56 AM, This boi uses Nino said:
  Hide contents

ah, tiene sentido.

A que sí?

Well, Marcus did get 3 strength levels in a row and 2 speed. Like this was in his first 3 levels, so that was epic. He murders way too much in fact!

FE7!Marcus isn't surprising. Try to replicate that in FE6.

Well not to be too much of an asshole, but a world conqueror wouldn't have lost Clifford.

You... you! How dare you! I'll have you drawn and quartered...! Someday!

I mean... more so because I don't know what all of it stands for, if I did I would read it, and you know that replying is already pretty long.

Well, not to worry. I think I can make sense of most of it, at least.

On my phone Ruben, kids these days have phones in class. I finish an assignment and I play on my phone.

Really? In my old high school, phones were forbidden. I mean, everyone had them in their pockets, but it wasn't allowed to use them under any circumstances. People obviously used them between classes, but in the middle of 'em they risked losing them. Even when there was nothing to do, you were expected to pick up some other book and study... Or, y'know, stare at the wall, which was the preferred option most of the time. Do you just do it stealthily, or is your school just that lenient?

Probably, but I just like puzzle-like design. Which I somehow managed to find in the mess that is FE7.

You know what? Scratch that. You'd like Vestaria Saga. That's my new recommendation to you.

I don't dislike the rants actually. They are pretty intriguing at times.

Hah! Thanks, I guess.

OOoooh! Though world-sucks tropes make me roll my eyes, it sounds good.

Hey, that was a very on-the-nose summary. It's not as blatant as I made it sound.

*sob sob sob* I... :'((( 

Sorry, man...

Wrys? I wanted to hover over the image to cheat but no-can-do. Still, probably is Wrys.

Actually, hovering would do you no good. I was still suffering using Imgur back then, and that one didn't have the neat filename displays. But yeah, it's Wrys. That abomination is Wrys.

now make it so she trips on her love-interest and touches his dick a la anime style hehehe...

Wha... What? No! I'm not going to do that! If anything, she's going to trip and die, because I am incapable of writing dumb fanfics without making everyone suffer, because as it turns out, I was the real Navarre all along! My writing is so edgy!

...Anyway. No, I think making Elaine into a trap would defeat the whole purpose. What a plot-twist it would be, though...

drat I was hoping for "Cecily Obtained"!

Pfft. Nah, that was later.

Holy fuck, no joke this entire thing with Valery would make for such an epic Anime arc.

Fuhentekina jaakuna yama no Valery hōseki.

It'd be a hit!

Alternatively, you can call it Mafia 4.

That does sound cool, and funny.

It is. You really have to play the game for yourself or watch a video playthrough to enjoy all these subtleties.

Kek,  that moment when Ruben calls you out lol.

I mean, am I right or am I right?

Ok but the elderly can crop and raise animals if it's really necessary, children can be put to work too, and women can be nurses or do anything else! I mean, yes it's more mouths to feed but it's also more hands to work and to farm and nurse. This is a stupid idea.

You don't say? Even Herman agreed.

...Then again...

Definitely not that small band of knights that somehow still accomplish the toughest missions hmmm????

Definitely not the guys that do literally everything, apparently.

Ok number one, Adel your crush is pretty, good taste man.

Yes, I agree. She's also a brilliant alchemist rediscovering a lost art. So there's that.

But I can not condone asking Matthew for help, the FE7 thief has a 70% speed growth which is urgent to get and he never does! Bullcrap!

I think that's what was on everyone's minds when that name was mentioned.

8xymwwsc o How many times before have I told you to take off your armor when you're in the house?

Aawyimei o No can do mom.

8xymwwsc o You even shower with the godess-damned thing!

Aawyimei o ... but mom... my armor looks cool!

Bwahahahahahahahah... Funnily enough, if you look closely, that's not even Arthur's overworld sprite. For some reason, in these scenes his sprite has Elbert's colors. Don't ask me why.

At first I thought this was in the game until I plaid closer attention to the italic text being... well, italic. Lol.

It really does seem pretty in-character of him, doesn't it? I understand the confusion.

Indeed.

Berwick Saga animations in a nutshell.

Woah!

Amazing, isn't it? Don't get used to it.

cool plot moment.

Agreed.

Axel has a daughter? Awwwww...

Adoptive daughter, actually. She's blind, too. You might've noticed, but it's worth pointing out.

Her story is as follows: Her ship was sunk, her family killed, and her sight gone while she was adrift at sea. She was found washed ashore by the abbey priestesses, who took her in. Some time later, Axel was found in a similar manner. Ciel selflessly cared for him while he recovered, and afterwards, he decided to return the favor by more or less adopting her. Ever since then they've been close as a real father and daughter (or more, if you think about this game's other father-and-daughter couples). But everything changed when the Gibry nation attacked...

Yeah, Reese does dubious things but for good reasons mostly. That's honestly cool, he's not absolutely nice guy or whatever.

It'd be cooler if he showed any emotions or if he was ever called out on it, but as it is, I honestly can't tell if it was intentional or if Kaga just accidentally wrote a psychopath as the protagonist while trying to write Marth for the seventh time.

Awww..... so cute!

I soundly agree.

I also don't tear up much on fiction, actually I never have, and my expectation that I won't cry is probably why I never will from now on.

Well, that's fine. You monster Reese.

Also, 8hngg5cj oshould be named "cielo" so Axel can say "Mi cielo"

Heheheheheheheheh... well, sadly, I can't rename images once they've been uploaded, and if I remove the existing ones that messes with prior updates. I'd rather not have multiple versions of the same portrait lying around (except one very specific case), so I won't do it.

Btw you always post links to music and what not, listen to this. You'll hate it, then you'll love it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbB8mcM_xS8

I think I'm more baffled by the image. The fuck is that?

Hated it right? Too much yelling and what not?

Not really. I quite like metal. This is all right. Dissonant, maybe, but I get what they were trying to go for. And considering I occassionally enjoy listening to stuff like this...

Yeah well anyways, listen to this one too, it's epish. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oOTSWmyP2E
Pretty good as well.

You're probably wondering "What's up with the MC?

Read my mind. How dare you read my mind, I'll kill you.

Anyway, more than "what's up with the MC?", I'm wondering "why does the MC have two sets of eyebrows?". Seriously, look closely, he has four fuckin' eyebrows. Two big black ones, and two tiny blonde ones right on top of his eyelids.

and... well just play the game, it's on PS2 and it's a blast.

PS2, huh? Well, I'll consider it. That might be the next step into making my PS2 emulator into less of a Berwick machine. So far I've used it for Berwick and one Star Wars game.

Incidentally, I had a bit of an... uh, experience, shall we say, with the Shin Megami Tensei series, and this small bit of conversation has reminded me of it, so now you're legally obligated to listen to me. Story time, folks. Here's some story time music.

It happened... I think it was around a year ago. I was absent-mindedly scrolling through my recommendations feed at Youtube. Out of nowhere, one of the thumbnails hit me like a veritable jumpscare. The video in question had a title in japanese, and it was of a game I'd never seen before in my life. It also looked like nothing I'd ever seen or played, making it rather strange that it had been recommended to me in the first place.

More interesting, however, was the thumbnail itself. Take a look: WARNING: DISTURBING IMAGE. I MEAN IT. I CENSORED PARTS OF IT (BECAUSE I'D RATHER NOT GET BANNED, Y'KNOW), BUT IT'S STILL AWFUL. How a video with that thumbnail was even allowed to exist in Youtube, let alone be recommended to some random spaniard, is beyond me. And before you ask, yes, it's still up. How do I know? Simple: while looking for footage of the game to take that screenshot, I found it again. It was uploaded in january 2017. Still going strong three and a half years later.

Anyway. Upon opening the video, out of morbid curiousity, I skimmed past the ordinary-looking gameplay, until I was greeted by this nice image: THIS ONE ISN'T AS DISTURBING, BUT IT'S STILL CENSORED BECAUSE REASONS. At this point wondering if Youtube truly had the balls to recommend me a ryona* porn game, I did a bit of research. I know "research" is an unfortunate word to use in this context. Laugh if you want - all I did was google the name of the video, to see if I could figure out what the heck Youtube had sent to me.

* If you don't know what "ryona" is, well... You know what they say about anime and tentacles? Yeah. That's one of the many wonderful things that can be classified as "ryona". Now, this begs the question: How do I know about this term? Well... the answer is just below. No, it's not what you're thinking.

It shocked me to discover that this game was part of the Megami Tensei series - same series as that game called Person 5 that everyone is always talking about, and that one FE crossover game. The name is Giten Megami Tensei, if you care to know, and from what I've gathered it's kind of an obscure black sheep in the series. I... never would've expected it.

Never would've expected the fact that these images were part of a legit game in a legit series, I mean. The ryona porn didn't surprise me so much... because Youtube had already recommended a ryona porn game to me some time before. No, I'm not kidding. That happened to me. Top 10 anime plot-twists, huh? And yeah, I checked, and that time it really was a full-on porn game. In fact, this video is how I learned about the word ryona. Was right there, in the title.

I know, I know, go ahead and make jokes about me "checking out" that game. I did not enjoy the footage I found, let me tell you that much. The game was fucking disturbing, and I don't mean in the typical "haha tentacles go slurp slurp" memey way. Fucking hell, I outright couldn't sleep well that night. I won't go into too much detail, but suffice to say, the protagonist was a tiny, 10-year-old looking girl, and she got into... uh, situations. I... I'm not usually one to kinkshame, but... what... why...?

Don't ask me to find the video again. Believe me or don't, but I'm not providing proof in this case. It was a japanese video as well, anyway, so even if I wanted to find it I wouldn't be able to. As far as I'm concerned, the video is better off lost - if it still exists at all, which I hope it doesn't. I don't want to run into it again.

So yeah. That's the story of how Youtube randomly decided to recommend nightmare-inducing imagery to me. To this day, I still haven't the slightest idea of how the algorythm came to the conclusion that I'd be interested in such content - twice, even; and frankly? I don't think I want to know. It hasn't happened again since. I hope it never does. And, going back to the matter at hand - I'm sorry, but I think I'll forever associate the name "Megami Tensei" with the time(s) Youtube sent ryona porn to me. The series is ruined in my heart. Sorry.

......

I just spent 8 paragraphs ranting about porn. I don't think I'll ever be able to top this one off.

 

On 9/7/2020 at 3:33 AM, Golb89 said:

[Addendums/Edits]

  Hide contents

https://www.reddit.com/r/0sanitymemes/comments/indm6d/frostleafs_recruitment/

fungh507ofl51.jpg

Why does her face have the same shape as the face of Eustace Bagge?

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/hwbk58/arknights_comic_25_promotions/

w3da2s7g9kc51.png

Hoo, boy...

Meanwhile, elsewhere:

436c62bc-fd82-403b-96a2-10b15e0eabe8.jpg

(Yes, i know i already included this in my previous comment as a bonus, but this is how it was supposed to be inserted instead)

(And before you say anything about waiting, i did that post between 5 and 7 am so shut up!)

I still have no idea what the hell this is supposed to mean. No, seriously. What are you trying to tell me? Awakening bad, is that it?

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/i76nse/arknights_comic_28_mines/

sieir80ly6g51.png

She just keeled over.

You are ded. Not big soup rice.

 

[Replies]

  Hide contents

No!

......

Well, then...

I miss things all the times, so it actually wouldn't.

But... But... Danganronpa! Damnit, Danganronpa! Are you telling me I know Danganronpa but you don't!? ME, not YOU!? What has the world come to...!?

Incidentally, I enjoyed Danganronpa. Only ever watched the anime for the first game, and then I proceeded to completely forget about it when I was listing the animes I've watched. It was fun enough, even if it had the obligatory dumb fanservice moments.

My favorite character was Byakuya, because though I hate idiots and assholes, idiotic assholes kinda click with me for some reason. I guess I just find it satisfying to watch an arrogant piece of dick fumble about, be completely useless and make a joke of himself. Hey, that also explains why the only Mangs content I ever enjoyed were the Ironmans!

Ask him directly then.

I don't care enough to do so. I will settle this drama myself: You are wrong and so is he. I am the only one who is correct. There, fixed. Now go home and get your fucking shine box.

I don't think so.

That is not a faithful depiction of the events, and I'll tell you why: Benjamin isn't doing the hand pose he loves so much. That clearly indicates that this "Benjamin" is a paid actor.

Uh uh...

......

Okay, I've no idea how to even describe that. But I think the fanbase's depiction of Saria might be the ultimate waifu. So there's that.

You've already seen him in "action" though.

Can't really blame me for not realizing it, though. Official him looks like a mixture of Navarre and Sylvain. This just looks like a human Mettaton. You know, the guy from Undertale? That's right - I am capable of referencing Undertale in a positive manner, despite the fact that I am a fan of both Mother and Live-A-Live.

O RLY?

Yes. Benjamin and his hand pose are the true hero.

Nope.

That's not horny / clinically insane, though. That's just a master of comedy.

[[email protected]]

Space Captain Katsura [takes off]

Pretty sure Volcens does.

Volcens!?

Ahahahahahahahahahahahah! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahah! Bwahahahahahahah! Hehehehehehohohohohohoh! Aahahahaha... ahahah... hahh... cough, cough... hooaaah...

......

...You serious?

Incidentally, she indeed ended up "like her".

(Sort of)

I, uh... I feel like there's some sort of context here that I'm not seeing.

...Lynette levels of sexual aggression, though. And in this case, the opposition doesn't seem to have Reese levels of emotional absence.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdWGp3HQVjU

Yup, goin' to hell on a handbasket, just like that car.

 

  Hide contents

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/hrnq6n/arknights_comic_22_new_medicine/

sef2p1avx0b51.png

(This also goes in the list of "sorry, not sorry"s)

Ahh, suppositories. What a marvel of medical science those things are.

enemy-installations-infographic.jpg

Is this suppositories, too?

https://gamepress.gg/girlsfrontline/gfl-explained-hoc-combat-basics

gasgasgas.png

https://gfl.matsuda.tips/post/ct_red_zone#objective-1-strategy

Kaga did GFL first too!

Rule 776: If it exists, Kaga Did It First.

Sorry, but this is the closest thing i have atm.

Okay, that's... different from what I had envisioned. Surprisingly heartwarming, too. Sometimes one just needs something like that. Thanks.

(Maybe, just MAYBE, something like that happened in Gintama though...)

That's your strategy to get me to watch Gintama? Hint at cool moments? Because I'll have you know, I can just go on youtube and watch clips and call that a proper substitute to watching the actual show. It's worked for a few others. Yes, I'm that kinda guy.

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52awezex oWelp...

Pffft... Ahahahahah!

Also:

*Insert the whole "Faye vs. Chaos vs. Faramir scene" here*

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(Hope you don't expect a full translation of that one, because there isn't any)

(And really, i think even you could figure out the gist of it anyway)

Yeah, I can. White-haired person is piloting a helicopter. Brown-haired person distracted her, causing her to crash. White-haired person died, so brown-haired person was put in jail, where she went clinically insane. Volcens is a dumbass.

Good enough summary, is it not?

https://www.reddit.com/r/girlsfrontline/comments/bzci6u/now_lets_count_up_your_sins_oc/

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(I was actually saving this one for you-can-guess-who,but eh)

You found a more appropriate place for it.

Eh...

hoc-structure-bombardment.gif

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... amateur!

Wha-- how dare you insult me! I will... call you a poopyhead!

They probably contracted their construction to an italian company...

Oh, Jesus...

(And many other of this guy's quotes i'm not gonna bother adding here because this post is already taking two days to make)

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Did Warfarin meet God, though? If not, Berwick Saga generic I made up dialogue for >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> bleach skin waifu.

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/inumqd/im_a_healer_but_featuring_gavial_shining_and_saria/

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Bda25u8h o...But you're unarmed!

Copjg1au oBollocks!

Ugg0cmtj oHah! Sucks to be you. Gotcha good, he did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JU5LMG3WFBw

I agree with top commenter. That should be Thor's theme song.

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Is that Perceval? Nah, can't be... she doesn't look like she misses nearly enough.

77a3d998-5f38-48ca-a825-1a82246c6085.jpg

Those are the most overcompensating knuckle dusters I've ever seen.

Immagine2c.jpg

Is that a miniature version of Martel? Bahh...!

...Awwwww~ but the kitty cat is so cute, though~!

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 Oh, no. It's female Navarre, isn't she.

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Ah! Stop! I didn't realize that one was a KagaSaga villain, too...!

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Jesus Christ on a bike... I think I'd rather have TF2 Medic as my doctor than this specimen. And that guy is batshit insane!

https://www.reddit.com/r/KemonoMichi/comments/e8ni69/how_these_people_keep_on_losing_about_their_swords/

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And then he got speared by Larentia.

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Cool poses.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, elsewhere:

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/gu5dhu/the_reason_why_kaltsit_is_your_ex_now/

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Pffft! Okay, that's... that's pretty good, yeah.

 

[Bonus]

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https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/ini0gu/i_e2ed_kroos/

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No thanks. I think I'll carry on with my nap.

 

 

On 9/7/2020 at 9:12 AM, BrightBow said:
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Assuming this battle won't take more then 20 turns, which it might well do.  

Hush.

Well, there go all the siege engines.

Not the engines!

I do actually like Our Ally Rosecchar. He seemed fairly dedicated when we meet him. So him instantly getting cold feet is both surprising but also feels appropriate considering his disdain for supposed cowards.

He was projecting all along.

Jhvoux35 o I shouldn't have allowed myself to be enchanted by his beautiful eyes.

Bwahahahahahahahah... Turns out Herman is a really romantic man.

It's funny that Burroughs is lying here, considering it's pretty close to the truth anyway. There is nothing standing between Remagan and Navaron.

Actually, what he says is completely true. Whether or not he knows that is another matter, though.

Or maybe he just takes into account that he probably won't be deployed for this mission anyway, so it doesn't make for good leverage.

Kaga is a really nice man. He gives you Burroughs in time for a mission that will likely kill him. Suffice to say, I fell for it in my first run.

Presumably something that dismisses her value as a brilliant engineer, judging by what happened to Lumine.

Of course, the Raze Empire are the baddies. How could they see her true value? That's what the good guys do.

...Please refrain from bringing up Reese. It would ruin the argument.

Also, Lumine.

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I know, this has nothing to do with that, but I love this image too much not to post it.

If it helps, considering how the war is going the city will no doubt fall with or without Burroughs.

My only consolation is that Volcens will fall with it.

Also, didn't you say that even if it wasn't for the money, you got your hands full with orders from the military? I mean, either way they will probably be used for the defense of the city.

By giving us a ballista, he ensures that it is also used for the defense of the populace's personal problems.

...just the material costs, eh? This might sound like he is handing that stuff over for cheaper, but 5200 denarii is actually the exact same cost as buying a Bronze Ballista and 20 Bolts from the shop. ...except if you do that you'd get a discount because of all the citizen requests. So technically it's actually more expensive.

Huh... I never noticed, actually. Is it even necessary to purchase that ballista at all, or can I just bypass it?

Well, it most certainly matters that he has a movement type that makes Derrick look like a flier.

...Yeah, to be honest, I should probably have stressed that point more. But I was too busy fanboying over the ballistician.

Everything that's not a road either costs 2 movement or cannot be crossed at all. So practically speaking, even with Hurry he can often move only 1 tile per turn. And I'm pretty sure that everything Derrick can't cross, Burroughs can't cross either. Don't know for sure because the Terrain page of Serenes Forest doesn't list the Special movement type for some reason. Might be a good idea to keep an Escape Stone on him, just in case he needs to bail out.  

If I had any, I'd do that. I currently don't have any.

Just have him unequip the ballista before moving. After he moves, the attack command will be available, just like with every other unit.

Huh... That's so easy.

For something that's actually intended but I'm sure a lot of people miss, it's possible to turn Burroughs on the battle preparations screen by using the trigger buttons. Or whatever the T in LT and RT stands for. Sorry if you know that already.

Ah, I already knew about this, actually. It's also extremely important in many situations, so it baffles me that it's not made more clear.

A mission that strangely has nothing to do with Arthur.

Hah!

With Belf, Arthur and Axel, seems like dads are sort of an unintentional theme of this chapter.

Belf.

Ahahahahahahahah...

Anyway, yeah. It does seem that way. Especially considering... well, you know.

Oh that's just great. Deployment limit for the map is a little low, so maybe I should skip out on one of the citizen request.

Let's see who I can leave on the bench:
I don't won't to deny Arthur the chance to find his father.
Without Axel, there will be some child murder, so he's coming along.
And Adel is needed for the goddamn plague. Guess everyone's coming along then. *urgh*

Ahahahah... And I'm lucky enough that I'm using all three of them. I kinda hated Christine in my second run, because I didn't use her and it felt like she was necessary every second map.

I mean, you don't see Volcens running around telling everyone that the plague is just a hoax to make him look bad, that you can cure it by drinking bleach, defund organisations meant to combat the plague...

Don't forget the part where he calls it "the Raze plague."

Although that seems to be mostly because he can't get his ass out of Roswick's chair.

Volcens be like

I guess that's why you shouldn't be sitting down wearing heavy armor.

Pffft... Wait, but how did he manage to get to the balcony that one time, then?

Oh, right. Bernard was going to be executed. He was so giddy with excitement that he managed the energy to get up. Then he got to be a sexist dick to Sienna, so he managed the energy to return to the chair. It truly was the best day in Volcens's life.

But enough about Three Houses. *rimshot*

Oof! That's gonna sting in the morning! And I wasn't even the one to do it!

Well, except for Volcens' stupidity and Intelligent Systems' lack of shame.

Hey, now. They had enough shame not to steal the Plum plot point.

...Wait, no, never mind. Isn't Nowi, like, the same exact character except they somehow make even less of an effort to acknowledge how horrifying the things that happened to her were?

Kvbwgecb o Omae Wa Mou Shind---
 

Kvbwgecb o  Ah crap... Still need to work on my timing.

Well, she's getting there. At least this time she isn't the one getting Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru'd.

Double convenient that Faye's promoted portrait was not even in Aethin's portrait dumb for some reason.  

That's kinda weird, yeah. I mean, really easy to just grab the upper half of her unpromoted portrait and paste it on the Fana portrait with the red vest, but... still. Strange.

Right? I only noticed his portrait changed because this one is more blurry.  

When the portrait changes, it disappears for a fraction of a second. That's how I did it.

Kvbwgecb o  Lord Reese, is everything alright?

Meoilxpy o Sorry. My eyebrows just relaxed there for a second.

Turns out the reason he doesn't smile is because he's cursed, and when he smiles, he either has a stroke or loses his shit.

You can call that a really dumb kind of curse, but isn't there an official FE character who summons monsters when she sighs? I thought that was incredibly stupid. But nobody else seems to agree, people love her. Probably because the girl walks around with half her boobs or her belly sticking out, depending on the year.

Vnr7otde o Especially if you only trained for like... a week? How long did it take you to travel to Izmil and back?

Maybe she enlisted someone's help to shove her to the other side of the country. Have you seen how she goes flying every time she gets hit? I could see that happening.

Well, maybe she is a Saiyan, so she gets stronger every time she gets beaten to near death.

Pffft...

Kvbwgecb o Just maybe protect them in a little less creepy, stalkerish kinda way.

Vnr7otde o ...

Yes, that would probably help.

Seems like a pretty good lesson to learn if Chaos was someone Faye might not necessarily want to kill. So I can't help but shake the feeling that this is somewhat of a leftover from whatever previous version of the story that would have included "Fana".

Of course in the final version it still works well enough in a "control your passion" kinda way.

I see no issue with this, personally. If I was a dad, I'd probably want my daughter not to become a Navarre, even if her archnemesis was an irredeemable bastard.

Of course Cowen being Faramir's master doesn't explain a whole lot. Like, if Faramir was Faye's sister and/or Cowen's student, how come they don't know each other? Faye said when they first talked that Faramir's style reminded her of someone other then her father, but if Cowen really is Faramir's master, then that implies that the person Faye remembers is Faramir himself rather then some unknown mystery master. And where does that whole "I was thrown away like thrash" thing fit in?

I think it could go something like this: Faramir was thrown away by his actual family. He was found and raised by Cowen and his wife, before Faye was born. By the time she came to be, Faramir was already an adult, so after a few years (explains why she sorta remembered him, she had vague memories of him from when she was a toddler), he left home. When the Chaos thing happened, he rushed to pay a visit to his adoptive father, but by the time he arrived, Faye had already left on her quest for vengeance. Cowen begged Faramir to protect his daughter, and Faramir did so because, well, it's his dad asking him.

Makes enough sense to me. Call me out if you notice any flaws.

Doesn't exactly help that the portrait dump shows evidence about rewrites in Faye's story: I mean, we got Raze Priest Cowen, as well as edgy Faye and Chaos.
So if Faramir isn't explained in story, I'm not convinced he makes sense at all. He might just be a leftover from earlier drafts that they didn't manage to refit into the final version, or something like that.

That said, this could also be true. He definitely fits better if you call him Haldyn.

Even if you never use Faramir, his Cutlass his nice to have. It's only Rank 20, so at least Ward can use it. As well as Reese if he is at least level 13.  

True enough. I'll have to see what I can do about this.

Well, I can't exactly see Doros and Axel as best buds, to be perfectly honest.  

Well, we'll see. Mayhap their reunion will go better than the one with Gibry.

Careful buddy. Hide + Pulverize. No one would ever know. Or care.

Let's be honest, does anyone even think there's a single person out there in Lazberia that gives a damn about Gibry?


Next time on Berwick Saga:

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What's that supposed to mean? Owen isn't gonna die, damnit!

 

 

On 9/7/2020 at 11:01 AM, The Roger The Paladin said:

 

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Cursed with the souls of the dead he punned. It's like one of those swords with a curse because it has too many kills in TRS.... but it's an image.

It's... it's an image of me, though... why would the souls of my dead units haunt my image?

...You know what? Forget I said anything. It does make sense.

does his wife know?

Bwahahahahahahahahah! Ahh, you bastard. Good one.

Just don't land it on the library roof. (I need to stop this. I'm turning into Elbert)

Ruben was provoked.

Push a negative hard enough... and it will break through an become a positive.

True.

Well, on one hand he'll block everything.... on the other, can he block attacks he doesn't need to?

No, actually. If he's hit by a blow lower than his defense, he'll just stand there and take it.

Presumably because the middleman is a moron. Either that, or without you there, the Wyvern massacres them instead because of my egg theory, and Cecily escapes in the confusion... possibly with Serkis' help.

Hwahahahah... Good ol' Serkis. Best character in Berwick Saga by far. Well, second best. Derrick still wins.

That sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Yes. Exactly.

Yeah... doesn't seem like a map you can do much about except hope it works the way you want.

There are ways, but when everything goes wrong and nobody can hit anything... well, not so much.

Or alternatively, Ward could take up painting and open a gallery. The Art of War. Erzie would probably fund it.

The Beard of War. Literally just a self-portrait. Erzie would hang it on top of his fireplace. Right next to the Albatross.

I mean, at this point it's life advise.

Good one, too! Hahah...

I mean, it literally explains every facet of the A.I. and fits with what we know about the slavers. Also it gives an excuse as to how Cecily could escape unaided if you skip the mission. As far as my theories go, this one actually just fit.

I agree, this is great. Keep 'em coming.

Pollux disappointed counter:4

Hahahahahahah!

Makes more sense than Herman being reasonable for once.

Sure does, sure does. Uh... sadly.

Omnipotent means being able to do anything. It's omniscience that means having access to all knowledge.

Bah, omnipotent, omniscient, onmisterile... Semantics. You know what I mean.

A pirate named Doros. I wonder if he became soil.

He'll become soil soon enough.

Plot twist. Doros moved to Archanea and changed his name slightly.

So we've got Darros, the Archanean pirate who became sail; Daros, the Lieberian and father of Juliattisnacordst; and Doros, the Lazberian former partner-in-crime of Axel and Gibry. And now you want to make them into one and the same, somehow.

...Well, I can tell you one thing: It has brought me great joy to be able to write "Juliattisnacordst" again after so long.

 

 

On 9/8/2020 at 1:54 PM, Dayni said:
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In fairness, it's advertised as sound selection, I always knew it wasn't the whole thing.

Whole soundtracks tend to be sold separately for a lot of IPs, if at all (Is there a soundtrack release for ACII for instance? Don't think it happens much with western games)

Except for... once again, Nintendo, who doesn't ever sell their soundtracks. Either you record the music from the game's sound room yourself, or you just go fuck yourself if the game doesn't have one such thing. And don't you dare to rip the soundtrack from the game files and upload it to youtube. Your channel will die.

Speaking of Nintendo, have you heard the news? They're releasing a pack of their greatest 3D hits for the Switch! Hurray! ...Except they're just plain ROMs with the most basic improvements possible that any emulator worth its beans includes by default, Galaxy 2 isn't even included, and the game will cease to be sold in six months! Heck yeah, it's like they WANT people to pirate!

I'll be honest: When I watched the mini-direct, I was more interested in the Switch port of 3D World. A game I really enjoyed and still have in my Wii U, but the new content interests me. I skipped Mario Kart 8 and New Super Mario Bros's re-releases due to lack of interesting new stuff, but maybe I'll pick this one up. Depends on what the new stuff is all about.

And there are ways of getting the rest of the music on there, it is a usb after all. 😉

That'd work, but at that point you might as well use a regular USB stick and download the soundtrack from the internet. Save yourself the trouble.

I'd argue it's like the wyrm's calling down a cold burst of wind after the initial breath, sorry for not being clear I was coming to an explanation.

Ah, all right. Yeah, that does kinda look like what you say.

I see Lane tried to avoid being caught by robbing someone's look.

It was a bad call to dress as someone dead.

To be fair, he has always used Elbert's map sprite. Down to the hair color, even if it does not match.

Ferdinand would like to have a punch with Lane.

Ferdinand? I think everyone would like to have a shot!

This is Berwick under Volcens, where shittiness hides in plain sight.

True enough...

I don't think it actually happened.

They probably didn't want to take the authority of a baby-faced knight, so they just took Lane away.

Pfffft...

But nighttime training's the best training! And who knows, maybe his training partner left.

Rlqt4d9d o Chicken! Chicken!

Bwahahah... Wait, but who could be his training partner? He never seemed to be the social type... Maybe it's Reese? They bonded over their lack of humanity.

It's not Lynette's fault that Reese is Reese.

I think she could strip naked and hump his crotch and he'd be convinced she just tripped on her way to the bath. He's like your typical anime MC, only instead of just being dense he's a sociopath.

I mean Valery isn't wrong.

Not at all, no...

50 hit could be better but that's Berwick.

It's gonna hurt if it hits.

Keep in mind that he has rather good sword level. All in all, pretty nice weapon. Don't get me wrong, it can fail, but it definitely helps Marcel a ton.

I predicted this all those updates ago.

Did I do this?

Are you the baddies?

Yes. You Dainy are the baddies.

Kaga was such a mad lad that he gives you shit when you start letting people drop.

That is such an insult from him. A "Git gud" if I've ever seen it.

Actually, I'd say this doesn't feel like an insult from Kaga. Remember Shadow Dragon's substitute units? That's an insult. This is like, "wow you're not doing so hot! Here, let me help you out a bit." Especially considering the charm is great, unlike SD's generics.

And it's legit good.

All of these bonus items are "legit good". The next one gives increased hit, the third one grants the Hide skill to any unit that can equip it, and the fourth item is the best axe in the game by far - a better Brymranger without the avoid decrease, better accuracy and might.

...Still not worth losing so many units for these things, so I hope we don't get any more items. Though... it might be worthwhile to kill off Volo and Dean, and see if we can at least get the next charm... Hmm.

...Nah, even I am not that cruel.

Faye won't need it in the same way, but my word is she going to be dodgy.

Oh, you'll see... It's absolutely hilarious.

Rosecchar being nothing more than a bully who couldn't nut up?

I'm shocked!

Not really.

Hah!

HMMMMMMMMM

Herman, you appointed a traitor?

Almost like you wanted Remagen to fall.........

I am sure it is but a coincidence.

I see the only paydolf we're getting is that his name's befitting his monstrosity.

And that payoff is him being treated as the idiot of the room.

Hasn't he always been, though?

I mean, he is Gharnef.

I remain unsurprised.

Do you, now?

Besides, no way he'd apologise.

Maybe he's just misunderstood. He might just be a really good man. Y'know, secretly.

Hxq4hdqj oMy plan was perfect. Surround the walls with the starving masses, they'd surely tear Raze apart. Right?

And Reese was just sitting there, ear to the door, grin on his face.

Bs8nwu8m oNOBODY GETS TO TEAR ANYONE APART BUT ME

Hxq4hdqj oGah!

@SienAAAAAAAAAAAAA: Having to play nice for my brother is torturing me. Also, if things had gone differently we'd have an empty city, so that thankfully was stopped.

In all fairness, this was, like, Volcens's least infuriating scene so far. He actually listened to Roswick for once.

We saw things from Reese's perspective, I assume from Burrough's point of view he heard that.

Pffft.

I don't know why though, he's not a SD ballastician.

He's still plenty good. He has accuracy issues until he gets Aim, but his might is absolutely great.

So what, 50 for the ballista and 2 per bolt?

Hell, is it 100 per bolt as it stands?

I think so. Something close to that, otherwise.

Well, if there's no money next month we know who you're going after:

LoZOSta.jpg

Hwahahahahahah... Well, thankfully, we'll still be getting money from requests and stuff. But this is the reason why you want to have as many recruited mercs as possible by the end of the last chapter. Without Dad Funds, you really cannot afford to burn 10-15k denarii on hiring units.

I mean, it's a Berwick Ballista.

We'll see if it's any good in a player's hands. But he did do a good job as an AI, so I'm not too concerned.

His might is good, but given my luck, he's not gonna be able to hit the broad side of a barn under my command.

Tsv5se0h oAnd it was bad enough with the Corona Virus even if it didn't make us sick.

SYLd2Je.thumb.gif.888624e5ce34a840abfb44Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............

Tsv5se0h oIt just caused all of us to act like we were kings. The town was vulnerable to the plague as a result.

Oh, my...

Where's Hicks?

Still capturing Veld in one round in my dreams.

Arkis 2: Generic Boogaloo.

Dangit Kaga, are we going to see some shit again?

Not quite. This is a little different from the Arkis situation.

No, the true sequel to Arkis is in another chapter down the line.

So that's why they all suck. No wonder most of the party killers have been bandits, they've more sense than to use that crap!

To be fair, Imperial crossbowmen kick fuckin' ass, so... maybe they just overpaid the ranged division and ended up with little money to fund the infantry?

Meanwhile, Rubenio looking at FE:

Lgjkwhcy oBad design, awful craftsmanship.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahah... Only some FEs. Only some.

It's that time again.

Maybe everything will end well. Let us not lose hope. While there's life, there's hope.

...Now's when he dies.

It's a shame that the damage is as low, but I assume she took a joke weapon for a second just to rub it in.

Or does Astra reduce damage here?

Nah, Astra deals full damage with each blow. I assume they just gave her shitty power here for scripted battle dramatism purposes.

It's really apparent he can't move his face much.

Maybe he has a terrible condition, and we've been making fun of a disabled man all game long...

Lynette should encourage him to do face exercises, he might listen to her.

Meoilxpy o...Okay, so tongue out, eyes closed?

Stx9k60n oYes... Okay, now hold on a moment... Nngh... Ahh, blast...

Meoilxpy oWhat's wrong...?

Stx9k60n oDamn skirt won't come off-- I-I mean, keep at it! This is going to be good for you, big bro! I swear!

Meoilxpy o......

(Webber used as a stand-in because we've not seen Lynette's face)

Would you look at that Faye, you made a friend.

Remembers a certain face

......Yay?

I'm just baffled that he knows the meaning of the word "friend." Or maybe he thinks that's just the word for mercenaries on the regular payroll.

No complaints with this huh?

None I can think of. The cooldown is really long, but that's only fair. If it wasn't she'd be absurdly powerful.

Also, least you can proc Astra.

Not proc - trigger. It's a command skill here. Thank God.

Sofj1tk4 oYou must also learn how not to embarrass yourself with the demon drink with similar restraint. Unlike some........ unfortunate people I have heard of.

Hahahahaha... Oh, man. Even after his death, you pick on the guy...

Was sword saint also in Kaga's notes?

Because that would indicate Post-Kaga FE did it first.

The name is never explicitly used, so no.

And yeah, I doubt people would complain about your sainthood with Chaos attacking you.

He looks like a literal demon! How can he even see through the cloak...? As far as I know, he's just a regular human! Batshit insane, but normal otherwise!

Sofj1tk4 oAlso, never use the Devil Sword! It is cursed!

No worries, we gave that to Erzheimer.

I don't know about Faye, but I'm pretty sure using my heart as a sheath would kill me.

Well, in her case, it'd merely prompt Faramir to come take her to the abbey. Still, I'd rather she didn't miss out on many more chapters.

Oh no.

That is the appropriate reaction.

Axel..... Why must you be so detailed in your horrible past?

I don't want to get out the rant. Not for you. Not again.

Ehh... Shit.

So we're dealing with a treasure that might as well be cursed with how many bodies might be linked to it.

Yep.

This...... won't end well. I just know that if this chapter's a pain some asshole's going to show up.

Actually, the chapter's a pain but not because of anything Axel-related.

We indeed have got trouble.

Dire trouble.

So, life is seemingly being normailsed (At least that's how most every public figure wants it to be). I expect another local lockdown if there's another number spike. I've also apparently got a set of wheels, so that's something.

A set of wheels? What's that mean, you got a car or something?

And on 3H: I had to restart chapter 10. Because I forgot something. It's been a bit faster this time thankfully, so I'm not too screwed or anything and even got A+ by then (which means I don't have to redo fistful of fishing, which would have been cause for Fistful of Hair Tearing), making the rest of Part 1 just stat spamming when in the monastery so I can get Caspar and Ferdinand. Hell, the paralogues I cleared weren't too bad (Even that really annoying monster only one, that was not so bad actually, Oil and Water was worse initially. And people said you can only really use 6 units! What are they at?)

Oil and Water is best paralogue because it has Hanneman in it. Anything with Hanneman in it cannot possibly be bad.

...Uh, the game itself notwithstanding.

 

11 hours ago, Golb89 said:

[Addendums]

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Twice, in fact.

(Or at least i think i posted that one before too)

Pffft... I don't think you did, but still, that's pretty funny.

1.jpg

(Not sure how i managed to miss this one, but eh...)

We are human. We all make mistakes.

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Pffft... Ohohahahah! That's the smallest knife I've ever seen! Awww, that's so cute. What's she gonna do, cut open my letters? Pfhah!

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Oh, she's instead going to stab pelicans in the groin. Sure, that's a plan too.

 

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I'm sure he'll be perfectly fine...

https://www.reddit.com/r/arknights/comments/f15usu/big_bully_energy/

f33tcvhkxuf41.png

... maybe.

Oh, I've actually seen the video that this is referencing!

The original was funnier, I've got to say.

Orz

No, seriously, how can anyone tolerate this nonsense?

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The Thaddy experience.

bs8NWU8m_o.pngBecause i'm a master tactician.

Yes you are, Reese. Never doubt it.

Lgjkwhcy oBecause I AM a master tactician! Maybe.

Was there ever any doubt? Please.

(Incidentally, i don't remember if it's been already addressed/explained WAY back, but can't anyone in your army ride a horse, Kramer included?)

Riding a horse isn't easy. Riding a horse while wearing heavy armor and carrying pointy sticks with which to skewer moving targets is even less easy. People like Kramer are lowly peasant mercenaries, they wouldn't be getting trained in the art of horse riding. And I'm not sure if guys like the mages could handle it.

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So this girl's character is that she's a kleptomaniac. That, and she has a pussy window in her tights. Why must anime always be like that?

Does that mean the last boss will turn out to be Reese's father and he'll bail out of it even if you completed all of his [email protected] "man-up" sidequest?

Hahahahah... Okay, not gonna lie, I hate that part too.

But, guess what: It does not make the game unfinished.

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...Though I don't think I like the TLP finale as much as Sun God's Wrath literally one-upping the "teenagers kill God with the power of friendship" JRPG trope. That was so absurd, I love that game to pieces. Can't wait to replay it at some point down the line.

Uh uh...

Yey. More Arknights.

Child mercenary, not soldier (yet): there is a difference.

Is there really? I think they're equally terrible.

is9sLhF.png

 

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Quite the riveting character, this gal.

Not if someone else beats him to it...

Impossible. He'd use his super collector powers to materialize himself next to the vendor before anyone could get to the thing first.

Meanwhile, elsewhere...

I fail to see what that has to do with anything.

212abf6537721ae5a9af7c2d9a7cfb376bb03ea8

 

 

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Hataage!%20Kemono%20Michi%20-%2004%20-%2

So, 'tis your latest anime discover, or what?

https://www.reddit.com/r/girlsfrontline/comments/dy99em/oh_dreamer_youre_such_a_cutie/

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Pfffft...

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It's not even the same color...

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That cat playing with the ink is the best Arknights character.

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It really does do, no?

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I'd rather like to know why your tears are bleach white.

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Well, not for long, no.

(Apply abundant doses of "Sorry, not sorry" throughout the whole thing)

Hoo boy.

[Bonus]

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P-Patootie...!?

 

[Bonus2]

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I can't even quote this one properly. Nice.

 

 

 
89npk0dz o:
 
Spoiler
Nunmfqvg o

This map's music does not fit the difficulty. It should be something more like... this, for example.

C5xvwrck o

Today's team. The triple A squad for obvious reasons, Leon because you can't have Adel without him, then some of our usual reliables.

4b4gxmii oPqe7vk0d o

Oh, man. This map. Where to begin? Our goal is to free the engineers. They're the green units at the top. We must then speak with the civilian in the back, the Head Engineer. He has a completely useless item that is only there for flavor, I imagine. After we do that, the engineers will destroy the bridge in a cutscene, and the map will end. Tactics points for today (not that they matter anymore, since Reese has promoted) involve the engineers. Five surviving engineers means 3 points, four means 2, less means 1. Head Engi dies, and that's a game over for you. Simple enough, right?

Fuck no. For starters, there are only two ways to get there: though the island with the four lancers, or through the bridge itself, guarded by four lancers. Either way, we're getting lanced four times over. The island's lancers are weaker, though (as the bridge lancers are all bosses), and we won't have to deal with the ballistae or all the additional enemies. On the flip side, we'll need to down a crossbowman with a chu-ko-nu and then send either Larentia or Axel across to lower the bridge. Lost both? Tough luck, gotta go through the bridge. Good thing they're both still alive...

Ldcylj6j o5qtbcgmn oMum0ajnu oQfiyd1mz o

Either way you pick, sooner or later you're going to have four bosses with lances charging at you. And what bosses, too. They all have Supporter, which is terrible. Ozama also has Commander and Shieldfaire for extra hilarity. Everyone other than Ozama has oxtongues, which have a +4 charge bonus, instead of just +3. Notice, too, that they'll be accompanied by two horsemen who will pepper us with arrows, as if the lances weren't enough.

(Incidentally, most of the lancers - I.E. all of them except Ozama - are carrying Imperial Knight S Shields. These are notable not only because their defense boost rivals that of the Perseid, but also because Erzheimer wants one. If the opportunity presents itself, I will attempt a capture.)

Oh, and as if all that wasn't enough, even more horsemen will arrive later on as reinforcements! There's a way to stop them, but, well...

S1j9kapv o7fjy5eum o3znojtet o

You have to kill this guy, as you pray that he does not kill you back. This being an ironman run, I don't think it'll be an option to go after this fucker. That could spell the death of my units, and I can't keep getting units killed, at this rate I'm going to run out. I could always throw Reese at him and keep resetting until Reese wins instead of getting Vengeful'd, but that'd feel cheaty.

And then there's this guy.

7gkddpbn oB1no3jws oElallqa4 oCsxgrxb9 o

This fellow will patrol the strip of land between the two bridges. Gigas knights all have this special axe that grants them 20 defense. This one in particular also has an anti-Perceval brace, Counter and immunity to captures and steals. However, he does have a crippling weakness to fire. That is sure to seal his fate... right?

Well, I have a completely stupid idea regarding this guy that is most likely not going to work and get someone killed. You'll see.

Ti5gcfcv o8t03tfrb oQkmgteor o

Last, but certainly not least: the sidequests. Axel's old associate is waiting in the island house. Matthew, the cigusa herb seller, is in the home next to the river. The place where Arthur's father was allegedly spotted is the house atop the hill, amidst the woods. I'm guessing the four houses by the river are Remagen Town, and the two houses on the hill are Omrle, though by all means that probably was just a small confusion on Aethin's part. Ah, who cares.

So yeah, we'll want to bring the appropriate units to those locations. The hill in particular is a safe spot from lances. Once Adel's business is concluded, I'll want him to take refugee up there. Or, you know, I could just wait until the end of the map to do the sidequests. But I think it might be beneficial to wipe out the lower part of the map early.

Wdesxmx3 o

Enough words. Let's move.

Meoilxpy oThen, before the enemy has time to gather reinforcements, the engineers will destroy Remagen Bridge.

3cxl4xfi o'Tis a shame we need to destroy it, but leaving it would only help the enemy now that the fort is lost. Until it is demolished, however, we should be wary of any enemies attacking us from across it.

Meoilxpy oAgreed. This river is the last line of defense before the city walls of Navaron. If we don't stop the enemy here, more than fifty thousand people's lives will be at stake. Therefore, no matter what occurs, we must not fail!

Gcj5ze3f o
 
Bl971uv1 o

Meanwhile, on the opposite shore, the evil ones discuss their disbelief that they're going to be attacked today.

Zaeojyec oThat's what I and the others have been saying, too...

Fnmsbjbz oStill, don't let your guard down. Stay in formation, and don't slack on the basics. If we stay in a group, we can crush the enemy together all at once.

Lgjkwhcy o This is giving me bad flashbacks to TRS... Where's Leonie and the Sylpheed when you need 'em...?

Epeqdqxg o

Up in the fort, this guy wants food.

47tmhblp o

However-- Whoa, whoa! This guy looks... extremely furious.

Ex6f1gs0 oWhat's wrong with having a little snack? We've been working hard for days! You can't just keep feeding us that pig slop and expect us not to keel over!

78bxzjrx oI told you to shove it! 'Less you wanna eat this arrow through your skull!

Ex6f1gs0 oWith those piece-of-crap arrows and your piddly arms? You couldn't do it if you tried!

Uedfz3v4 o This is reminding me of a certain Spongebob scene... And considering it's going to be up to me to save these idiots, I don't like it one bit!

78bxzjrx oThat's it, I've had it with your big mouth!

9qk5ifz8 o Big is right, that guy's jaw is Bors-tier.

Wjp4k9ld o

78bxzjrx oNot all of them, just this one! I'll make an example out of him!

Ex6f1gs0 oHeh, you hear that, Boss? I think this guard here's gone a bit funny in the head!

Wkmuylrn o

D2c53s6l oI don't know about you, but I'd like to avoid getting shot in the head. If you've got breath to spare, how's about you try prayin' to the Goddess?

Hj26atvq o

Hmdzr8rk oWhat he said. Don't piss off the guards.

Hr0ij3kw oYou tryin' to get us all killed?

Ex6f1gs0 oTsk... You guys are just gonna lie down and take it, then...?

Xpcuumqt o

Oh hey, it's that one guy who was picking on Clifford in Knight's Pride. A fact I foreshadowed by giving his portrait the correct name in advance.

2yf6y8em oSorry, fellas, but this treasure's all mine now. You snooze, you lose. Guess you'll have to settle down and get real jobs for once.

Lgjkwhcy o I'll have you know that Axel has done just that. As for Gibry... Well, he's holding an innocent, blind little girl hostage to force Axel to come get you. I'm afraid he's going to do just that, too.

Pyacwiti o

Let's not forget that the goal is to talk to the Head Engineer. I forgot in my first run, and found out the hard way.

Ohhmc0nv o

First move, check out promoted Reese. Sorry, little archer, but you're going to be our first blood!

E0yljrji o

Not bad! That palette matches his portrait better than the old one. Also, he's replicating Marcel's swaggy-ass idle pose.

Jmzgsihx o1bs7ttbw o

Boom, and...

1xzvxufz oHobrqclc o

KABLOOIE-BOOMBA! Hahahahahahahah... Off to a great start, I see!

C4f1ook4 oL2i6wmvz o

Sword skill, too. Excellent work, Reese. That's the kind of performance I want to see.

Adptzk0y o

Mcz6lvwu oRun to the rear guard and tell them we need reinfrocements! We'll stay here and buy time!

Jxtbmp0h oYes, sir! Got it!

Hszbb0ct o

Off he goes... Well, I'm not too worried. Mostly because, while I was playing this chapter, I had forgotten that this guy triggered reinforcements. I thoguht all he did was make the AI of the lancer bosses change from "stationary" to "come and get us". Bit of a nasty surprise, eh? But that's neither here nor there.

Uizfa1pn o

The remaining enemies make good on their promise to buy time for the courier.

Hvj0qtjb o0cb3tcfv o

Or, y'know, they try.

B1pxzyi8 oSodsud4o o

The leader is slightly more successful.

N2f8sbxn oCo9ewkt0 o

Emphasis on "slightly", because the Leen Meen Creet Reese Macheen has scored yet another one! Two crits in two battles, wohohohoah! What the hell is going on!? Is this the Critical Saga to top all Critical Sagas?

W0rcmsju o0zio1szy o

...The level left a lot to be desired, though... But, he does need M Shield skill. Right now his shielding rate is shaky at best.

66cuv6nv o

Nice, his weapon is ours.

Ogavlddb o

Now... the lancer.

Wuxkz8gq o

I don't want to charge in like a headless chicken. He's flanked by this other asshole. I don't want to confront this. Not without proper care.

Ewcn8cbn oCtyjnprg o

So how about we do in this other guy first?

Xwruagzn o

The archers on the hill move about.

L5tlkpqg o

That looks good.

Wzplupv2 oYktivha8 o

Very nice.

Qee680ss o

Ey, would you look at that! It's one of the spears for Danton! We already have three, but I guess since it's free, might as well take it!

Ievfzk3v o

Next up is the most hilarious idea. I will have Faye stand on the edge of the range of the lancer who can move the farthest. With the longsword equipped, she has just enough avoid to...

P57ddfua o

...Wait for it...

Syvtrcib o

...Face exactly 1% chance to get sent flying by the lancers. The cutlass and the rapier would've dropped that chance to 0, but then the lancers wouldn't have attacked her, and that's not really want I want, either. This is a risk, but... C'mon. If this happens, I think I will seriously just quit and start playing Mario Golf.

Cyaxgdhu o

What's with me and Mario Golf these days, anyway? I haven't even played Mario Golf since I was a kid. Why do I keep bringing it up?

8ak4jonh o

Anyway, the predictable thing happens, and now the guy is right where I want 'em.

0l2z0elj oVkl02z8y o

Well... He can reach Enid. That's not good.

Icdmlpjh o

There, crisis averted.

Bbsuer6a o

Oh no.

E1nqj7dc oTpywla3p o

...Hah! Looks like Davis was right. This guy isn't going to kill anyone in a hurry. He's barely mightier than the earlygame's bandit archers! Pathetic!

Pxhl8soh o

This is what things are looking like. I don't think I'll be able to kill that lancer right now without risk, so I'm hoping he'll go for Ward (since he actually stands a reasonable chance to hit him). Then he'll truly be helpless.

Gspjxx01 o

But first... Yeah. Not trying this. Like I said earlier, the worst that could happen is I have to redo the first turn, but I'd feel bad, abusing the system like that. Resets are last resorts because I like to show off the games as well as half-ironman them, nothing more.

Mtrie0fa o

Reese will instead bait the lancer closer.

Bra2rprl o

Nice! He did exactly what I wanted him to do!

4r7bzblr o7xhnawtx o

Good, Ward! I knew I could count on you!

Gb9rm2m9 o

By the way, I forgot to screenshot it, but this guy is carrying a droppable platinum. It's the final ingredient needed to craft the last of Orlando's three awesome axes. Or, y'know, something else. I can't remember what the alternative was right now, actually. Might be worth checking out.

Jo5znsq6 o0kpc3pmf o

This has worked out perfectly as well.

Xzs7vk2p oZwqyge1m o

Her first diversion successful, Faye steps forth to cause a new one. Fun fact: without the shallows, this wouldn't be possible, as the plains give 2% avoid, enough to drop her avoid to 0 even with the longsword. The altium sword does weigh more, but it brings the enemy accuracy up to something like 10%, and that's too much, I'm not so comfortable with that. Heck, I still flinched when she was being aimed at with a 1%.

Jdlz052l o

Next up... actually, I initially considered just gangbanging him and be done with it, but then I realized, hey, this guy's positioned perfectly. Why not see if we can get that shield capture out of the way already? Use the harpoon, Ward!

Qnbglbp2 oNwkfahwh o

As it turns out, it worked out! If worse comes to worst, I can steal it with Thaddy, but then the guy would be able to charge at someone. If at all possible, I'd prefer to capture him alive.

Kehzuwez o

We can worry about that later. Let's get rid of this guy first.

0ndkaget o

You're up, Arthur!

Lfdxs4og o

I should've known better than to count on you, Arturo.

Dln4nbqs oSp7pammf o

Leon will do better. Up until know, the only characterization he's gotten is that he's the most intense pick-up artist ever and he has a really weird laugh. I'll have you know, however, that it's only one more chapter until he gets his real character arc, completely out of nowhere! Look forward to that.

Uldqngfr oWkkj9scb o

Is it bad that I clenched my buttocks here? Because I totally did. Even with these odds, man. These odds are what took The Roger from me. Even with Faramir... Goddamnit, I'd rather not have Faye miss out on yet another bunch of maps!

Hvuphiey o

Hooaaahh! Ahhaaaah! They're all coming at me!

Mam57aoo oY4yajta7 o

Never mind, they cannot move. Hah!

06qpphiz o

Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be able to kill this guy this turn. But the crossbowman can't reach anyone, we've got time until the courier gets to the Wonderful Four, and this lancer's close enough that he won't be an issue.

Jkvozbsu o0up44d5o o

...Or, you know, that could happen instead! Ahahahahahahahah... My man Adel! You're great. Don't let Gamefaqs tell you otherwise. Or the "bad" wiki, in this case. Here's how it describes him:

Quote

Adel is, without doubt, an awful unit.

I feel kinda bad dissing the text, since it's very likely Aethin wrote it and I love Aethin, but... That's such a hilarious description. I mean, c'mon. He's not great, but Vantage is amazing early on.

Icp18xbo o

Okay, Adel! Show us what you've got!

Vvist5vo o

Adel is, without doubt, a great unit. He is, however, not promoting. Unless... my plan works as intended. Hm hm hm...

Xyidmhuf o

Since I've got more than enough units to spare, let's whack the guy a few times, see if any of the strikes results in a crippling. If not, I will just set Thaddy up to steal next turn.

F2upg1vw oLt0rg2ny o

I was hoping for Maim, but...

Rgkd25s4 o

That's good too! Hahah, so far this has been nothing but luck and more luck! I pray it keeps up.

Mgvir4gf o

C'mere, matey. Axel's about to level up.

7iyyyjrc oIf8mrzsh oX8jxu8nx o

Platinum, a lance for             to use, and Erzheimer's shield, plus the extra funds from the hostage! Good haul!

Uj1yufz0 o

Now, if you could make this a good level, too...

Snlz9ctq o

Even more strength!? Goodness! He's kind of a one-trick pony, but if you had to pick one trick... Well, there's worse tricks than this one.

Crm60voi o

Now, I want these three dead.

3tgnfqax oFl9iyrtb o

This is... a start, I guess.

Bjhn3umw o

That's a continuation! Hwahahahahahah... AAAAAAAAHHHH, PALLAS LEIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Zj96wqoe o
 
50z3j8id o
 
59m7psox o

I love this orb.

Y8z4s14h o

Good gains, too!

Ham1pnil o

Ah, yes. That is what we call competence. No wonder he's looking so pissed. I'd be pissed too, if I couldn't murder a couple of exhausted prisoners with my terrible equipment.

Dlwrainy o

Last time this happened, it was pretty good. How about we do it all over again? With this guy dead, and the last lancer right next to Enid, we should have no problems. I could use the eagle brace for a perfect 100%, but I'm not sure if the AI will be smart enough to have that remaining lancer run around Enid to spear her more effectively. I'd rather play it safe. She's keeping the miracle charm on.

Lolj5dhv oS67gafk2 o

Besides, it's a 97%. Psch. Down with you! With your pal safely secured and his goods (Erzheimer item included) in the pocket, we've no further need for any of you. Die!

Xwp3clrp o

Is it too much to ask for fire skill?

Xlc4gwjm o

I guess so. Sigh...

Ufppwctm o

And, just as expected...

G6ptwmaa o

Okay, I had hoped for a dodge, but it doesn't matter. We've succeeded in capturing the island! Absolutely wonderful.

V9gg8y2z o

Only one thing remains now: To kill this final guy. I could Pallas Leia him, too, but even if it regenerates, I'd rather not burn all the uses in one map.

Vtsdqhay oHqyagtes o

Especially since everyone is in a critical mood today. What is happening? I think so far, the only enemies we haven't hit critically were the Pallas Leia victims and the dude I wanted to take alive!

9ovu2ose o

This is nice too.

Dfjo3v4r o

Faye, you're up. Finish him!

Qvcgppnu oBdqnkiwo o

Very good. Wouldn't even have needed the cutlass.

Duycg5gd o

Arthur uses Hurry to get onto the hill. He'll begin working on the archers as he makes his way to Daddy.

S6y05syi o3ages0lg o

Meanwhile, Reese prepares to tank the crossbowman.

3mf0n2w7 o

While that's happening, everyone else begins to cross the shallows, to get to the island.

Uqt6yr3a oDurqnt93 oNmk8h88e oHafemccg o

Yeah, sorry, but that doesn't really work when you don't have good arrows. Reese could've tanked that with the shield, but one bolt got through to his chest. Still, 5 damage. Laughable!

Wjqu3dtq o

Even this guy is failing miserably. He doesn't have infinite arrows, so he'd better be careful.

Vfat1xmi o

This is completely safe. I checked. He does not have Counter or Vengeful.

Mkysbueg o4e8fbgj4 o

Boom, and...

Nyt3pgxe oNyhblqxo o

ANOTHER ONE!? SERIOUSLY!?

Dxl6mtra o

I mean, fine by me, really!

Cgddon3u o

New turn time. Things are looking quite well.

Nhoxtwyn o

Is it too much to ask that you don't miss this, Artie?

Amr1tzvl oLmme0kwr oEsw7xlzc o

Good, thank you.

Nvz43rdz oSrlwhikq oAsnz7x7g o

Two of the archers come after him. He takes one hit, because he's funny like that.

Iepz4ayv o

I think the courier is officially out of my reach. I'm not having Adel take on the lancer bosses. Well, it doesn't really matter.

3odzsefs o

Let's get those herbs.

Rslfix5o o

...Deckard?

H24blq3o oWhat? Um... Excuse me, but is your name Matthew?

Etsdzly2 o"Good to see you"? Yes, you too! Now, let's see...

H24blq3o oN-No, I said, is your name--

Zq76x3b6 o

Fkn3oxsy oLately, he's started calling anyone who visits the house "Deckard"...

H24blq3o oI see... Putting that aside, is this the right place to buy cigusa herbs? A man from Navaron asked me to come and buy some for him.

Fkn3oxsy oOh, yes! Please wait just a minute...

Fkn3oxsy oHere you are, sir.

H24blq3o oThank you. I'm a bit curious, actually... Who is Deckard?

Fkn3oxsy oIt's his son. My uncle Deckard. He ran away from home long before I was even born. Apparently, one day he said, "I can't just waste my life away here growing plants in a field!" That made Grandfather mad, and the two of them got in a big fight. After that, Deckard just left...

Laxgimgo o

Lgjkwhcy o Whoa, that's heavy...

H24blq3o o......

H24blq3o o...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried like that.

Lgjkwhcy oI agree, that was so rude of you, Adel. For shame! How will you get Lumiere to like you like this?

H24blq3o o...The battle is still going on outside. You two should find somewhere safe to hide.

Fkn3oxsy oRight...

Watlkigv oMtvvm9nc o

At any rate, it seems the deed is done. That village will be saved in no time.

Pzuv2gkt oIaemuxza o

Now, before I forget, let's heal up Enid.

Kqgakp8u o

You know what I kinda hate? There's tons of space for those idiot engineers to hide from the angry guy's arrows, but they instead line up within his reach and let him shoot at them. I know it's for gameplay mechanics (they needed a safe spot to place the Head Engineer so this level wouldn't be RNG-reliant, but they also needed to let the engineers get peppered so there's an incentive to hurry), but goodness, it's so frustrating...

Lwqvgou1 o

His work done, Reese backtracks to the island. I want him clear of that area when the lancers begin charging.

Bclemz4f o

Leon, meanwhile, moves toward the hill. He and Adel will take cover on it to prevent the bosses from heading their way.

Bx1q55db o

I could do Axel's house right now, but I'd like to wait until turn 5. No reason beyond I want to be able to return there easily to record the update bonus. There's no other reason. No, really, there isn't.

X3s19tw7 o

Anyway, in the meantime, let's check out the next roadblock.

93hw633f oD9bgamid o

That's certainly more dangerous than the previous guy. Max crossbow skill and raijin arrows on top of a chu-ko-nu. Thankfully, he does have a crippling weakness to 2 range weapons, since he can't move. Heck, even if he moved, it's not like he can reach across the river.

1fyn9tvu o

D'oh! Engineer...!

Ttil5rga o

All right, Arthur. Kill this guy so Leon and Adel don't get massacred.

Yafyrynb o

Very nice, thank you.

Ycptwjav oF0pj5mxl o

Cock!

La8abrlc o

Okay, good, but still...

Cr9rp2bl o

Paaahh!

Y1fezl2l o

Goodness, and the guy has almost made it to the lancers already... You know, I'm actually no longer sure if the courier reaching the bosses does anything. You'd think it would, but I'm not entirely sure... well, guess we'll see.

B2qctoti oAnepc6ed o

Anyway, Leon was prepared for this eventuality, and hops onto the hill while chugging his vulnerary.

3btxahfx o

Adel gets ready to follow him next turn.

7vlwsuyh o

Speaking of next turn, it's here already. The time has come, Doros. Axel's little girl needs that treasure.

2yf6y8em oA-Axel?! You're alive?

Rbumtcrb oSorry about this, Doros... I've no interest in the treasure myself... But I need it. I can't let you have it.

Lgjkwhcy o You know, you could try explaining to him that Gibry is going to cut a little girl's throat open if he doesn't get the treasure. I doubt it'd make a difference, but it certainly sounds more important than "I need it."

2yf6y8em oDon't screw with me, Axel! The treasure's mine!

3hslzor5 o

Oh, man. Another body is about to be added to throne of corpses that these riches sit pretty upon.

Kbii6la2 o

Doros attacked first, by the way. Just thought I'd point that out.

Zuhedlkg o

For all the good it did him... With these odds, what need could I possibly have had to savescum this? Especially since the treasure is obtained even if Axel doesn't kill Doros here. More on that at the bottom of the update.

2g95rqrp o
 
Not yet, man. I need you for the rest of the mission!
 
0lgc4rmx oU8tzwubw o

Not sure what is so different between this particular treasure and the generic treasure we use as vendor trash, but... Well, maybe it's just that much more valuable? Maybe I should have it confiscated... I know, Ciel, but imagine all the furniture I could buy with this!

Tl4cpgzh o

As a fun little bonus, Axel also robbed Doros's axe. It's pretty bad, and I already got one for the atelier, so I think I'll just sell this. Every little bit helps.

Srekr2vp o

D'oh-- What? You were doing so well before...!

Noyachrq o

That went well enough.

M4sasekg o

Now, how's about we finally get killing these assholes?

V6geibyr o

Thank you for succeeding where Arthur failed.

Wtwejkti o

Shield level, spear level...

Ielwlca7 o

Or, y'know, none of the above.

4ffgpqzp oUuycnegn oOb01okvs o9xovstt8 o

Each archer picks a different flavor of christmas cavalier. They're equally unsuccessful.

Tlhr8zjt o

...Oh, c'mon. Really? Every engineer is hiding behind this badly wounded fellow. Davis? Where'd your cojones go? Weren't you the one shit-talking everyone for "laying down and taking it"? Are his arms not flimsy anymore, or what?

Sbuj3inj oAxm6gdki o

Oh, please... Arthur, you're losing against a couple of insignificant archers! What the fuck!?

Gpqtk8ur oUgzchz00 o

Good thing Adel is here. I'm having more success with Adel than with Arthur. Think about it.

Xw3auk9r o

Now, back on this side... I want to wait for this priest to wait before I begin attacking the crossbowman. Otherwise, all my efforts will be undone.

Mk8vnf6k o

Also, the courier has reached the bosses. Guess we'll now see what happens.

Aptjmdmr oLu1w0b86 o

...To be honest, maybe nothing. Everyone is safe from those guys right now. Maybe they'll try heading for Reese? They can technically reach him in his current location, even if they'd never make it in time...

3j3ufm2g o

Whatever. It's time.

Gmezxu1h oGicuzb4s oKxtpl4di o

Rossweisse, go!

Opsaxbcp o

I haven't showed it, but this guy has been dilligently following his patrolling path all map long. What a trooper.

Mjipzp92 o

Anyway, it's time to die. Once again, may seem scary, but 100% chance to hit means this is completely safe.

Uv3ce6jb oVo1h2cvm o

That is that.

Xk9l8kzk o

And now she waits next to the building. Next turn she'll dismount and lower the bridge. If you're worried about the crossbowmen, don't be - the troops within the fort do not leave it, even if it's possible for them to do so (remember that, in this game, enemies can cross their own gates, even if they're locked to us, and viceversa).

Ep7ynfjv o

Oh, all right. Another engineer stepped forward, thank goodness. They aren't all completely terrible.

Yypsqztj o

...I don't get it, though. Why would the archer go after the full health guy when this bloke is right there? Ah, who cares...

H3qh0u6u o

The rest of the army gets ready to cross the bridge when Larentia lowers it.

5uj7wsfo o

Okay, Adel. Let's go--

Wtt5j4is o

...Pleeeaaseeee...

Na25qkzl o

Fuck!

Tfog9exy oXdj5r91p o

Oh, c'mon, really? You've got to be kidding me...

Bjrs3bnf oEdxy3l8d o

Owen will deal with that. But first, the bridge.

Vffahcrq oKgsxkg7m o

More archers shooting at cavaliers.

Defc4jdx o0vos5r1q o

Heal up, we need you alive.

Qwk5eg9n o

Ward will take point.

Telcos1d oUffhhykg o96p5t26s o

With his longspear, he leaves a mean dent on the gate... but we won't be opening it too soon.

2dbtc8ku oHr05xb5m o6kz7z5wx o

While we wait, might as well have Sylvis deal with the garrison from outside. In fact, I think from that spot she can Deadeye the priest. That'd be fun.

Ii4nchvg o

Here comes the opposition...

Rtgy31wa oAyzfjt1w oPzy6vszu oOud0usr9 o

Speaking of opposition, the southern one is almost done. Also, Leon got spear points. Hurray for him.

W2oqj7ae o

Ahh, here come the bosses.

...No, wait, I mean-- Fuck, here come the bosses!

Dzfvh5ea oAaide1ol o

Last archer, and the southern part of the map is all clear.

Okfuxfqm o

Ahah... hahah... aahhhh... I think my eye is twitching a little.

43vbsf4c o

Oh, please...

Kfjbuyns o

No, seriously... this is kinda awful.

Uaqn5kb1 o

They're still not within range, at least. Still got a minute or two to brace for impact and offer some prayers to the RNGoddess.

Ohzrufry o

Uhhhhh, I could potentially one-shot the priest! And Sylvis doesn't risk death if she misses, either, due to the Rossweisse's magic boost! I'm so glad I followed the advice to get this bow, seriously. How could I ever live without it in my past two runs?

Izgogaqe oY5xccxdw o

C'mon... c'mon...

6apvccd5 oVpb8cmkb o

Yeheaaah! That's their heals gone!

L8fdkotp oYknk7axy o

Dang it-- That's it, I'm sick of you. I've got other preoccupations now. You can go die.

Gzwnl79q o

You know, I actually thought this was the end of it as far as the courier was concerned. Silly me, hah.

7t3hdhxn oNvrnsgay o

Another thwack for the gate.

Zjjlv2ql oVayvypw5 o

And another thwack for the archer, too! Everyone gets a thwack!

Jsehoe4d oFauylktl o

Riders on both sides advance.

Zia3tdjy o

...Then everyone else and their mom follows. What are the ballistae doing? They're moving, but I'm not sure where to... If they head for the island crew, we might have to run for dear life.

Xpqnigb3 oItq4nv2g o

Ahh, no, they're heading south. That's... that could be bad for the three down there, but they should be easy enough to bring down.

Sqns00w1 oWjvgkx87 o

All right, new turn time. The true chapter 9 begins now. For starters, I want to stop the first enemy that attacks Ward dead on his tracks. To that end, Sylvis equips the ember arrows, so she can stop even the gigas knight.

Crfpew5c o6qvjt3wv o

Ahh, Ozama! If I could get rid of this guy immediately, it'd be so great.

(All four lancers share this theme)

Cdswplzu o

You're the one approaching us, though...!

Fnmsbjbz oHowever, let us see how well your mettle fares against my lance!

Nh6humjq o9gtkjfav o

Normally? Not very well. Unfortunately for you, I'm playing dirty. No honorable knightly bouts for you. Just firey arrows from a safe distance.

Irwzmq1v o

Oh? Oh! He's injured! Hohoho, that's amazing. Not even for the capture, to be honest I couldn't care less. But injury means his shield is off. He'll be easier to bring down now.

Yuaz2yd2 o

...Now's when the hard part begins. Everyone is going to charge at Ward. Everyone.

Wkxbcpnk o
 
Xb71kucl o

Hah! Nice try.

9f8malbc o

This one is by far the scariest right now...

Jml6fs7k o
 
Vumtkhnn o

Unlikely. It's literally impossible for me to return home without Ward and Reese. And Axel isn't going to die. I won't allow it.

Also, AAAAAAAAAHHHHH JESUS, TOO MUCH DAMAGE!

Gkiirzeb o

Fortunately, Gardy cannot reach, so that's the end of that. For now, anyway. More troublesome is that fact that Marvell Canto'd inside the fort, so he's out of my reach for the time being.

Kcwthm2p oBfymmfqt o

Heal up, heal up, heal up!

Vmh3on4m o

That will do for now.

Ftddidin o

And now, the gigas knight... if Derrick wasn't such an obvious joke character, I could see him promoting into this class. It'd suit him. But he's much too powerful already. If he were given even more power, this game would be the most unbalanced game in the series (counting FE, of course). Even though he'd still be unable to leave the starting area in a good bunch of maps.

C30gu0r4 oOkdale7u oVlwu2qfu o

Anyway, Ward got whacked so hard that his shield broke.

Iztwcq4g o

He did also gain some M Shield points, so that's cool.

Webkskz1 o

Courier is almost out of the map.

Ewczpacl oReamsjhq o

Time to bust out the big guns. And by guns, I mean the best shield we've got. Also, some more healing. 25 won't cut it in this situation.

M1fxkupd o

Let's take a small rest before the storm begins, though. Have some text to relax.

Goobtfde o
 
8m43kbx5 o

Ah, a female!

Jniycfxw o

Aawyimei o......

X1hbkhta o...Who are you?

Aawyimei oI-I'm an acquaintance of the man who lives here...

X1hbkhta oOh, I see... My apologies, but he is currently away serving in the armed forces...

Aawyimei oI see...

Aawyimei o...! That shield!

Zslfxvle o

Aawyimei oThe owner of this shield.. His name is Harold, correct?

X1hbkhta oY-Yes, he is...

Aawyimei oHarold is... He is my father!

X1hbkhta oWhat...?!

Axucpxeo o
 
Sbv3xmda o

Let's have some text to relax, I said...

X1hbkhta oThere, there... Don't be afraid... Mama is here...

Aawyimei oThat child...

X1hbkhta oI imagined that something like this might happen someday... What is your name?

Aawyimei o...It's Arthur.

X1hbkhta oAh, I see... So you are Arthur...

Aawyimei oDo you know who I am?

Y9h6bsaa o

Aawyimei oMy father was injured?

X1hbkhta oIt's a rather long story, but I can tell you the details, if you like...

Aawyimei o...Thank you. I apologize for my outburst...

X1hbkhta oNo, it's all right... Let's see... It was nearly three years ago... As a priestess of Raze, I was assigned to be the healer to one of the units of the Razite army. One day, I found an injured soldier lying in the area east of here. He wore the armor of the enemy, but he was severely hurt. As a sister of Raze, I couldn't simply abandon him. I decided to treat him discreetly, at least to ease his passing.

Aawyimei oYou, a Razite priestess, saved the life of a Verian knight?

Xhpys60w o

Lgjkwhcy o Well, shit... Wait, but if you're a priestess of Raze, where's your garbage bag? That dress is way too pretty for the Church of Raze... Unless there's more to it than what we've seen ourselves. But that'd be crazy. Don't you agree, Owen?

Kexfg14m o...Why are you asking me?

9qk5ifz8 o Oh, no reason.

 

Aawyimei o......

X1hbkhta oTo my surprise, he survived, and I continued to treat him in secret until he made a full recovery. When he regained consciousness, however, he said he had forgotten nearly everything about himself...

Aawyimei oThat can't be...

X1hbkhta oI intended to send him back to his own country once he recovered from his amnesia, but... During the time I was treating him, we developed... a sort of bond...

Aawyimei o......

Wvusaxhd o

X1hbkhta oBut he wouldn't say a word about it... And by then, we had already been blessed in conceiving this child...

Lgjkwhcy oOof... That's gotta be rough. Lose all your memories after almost getting killed, fall in love with your savior, form a family with her, and then realize that you already had a family on the other side...

Aawyimei o......

X1hbkhta oI know that what I've done to you and your family is unforgivable... I'm just a coward... I didn't have the strength or the will to let him go... If only I had realized sooner that his memories had returned, I...

Aawyimei oUm...

Kxdxsq6b o

And as if this wasn't awkward enough, the father's here.

Qchvvtzc o

Aawyimei oYou...!

Lx9rmxlz oSo it's you, Arthur... I'd hoped this day would never come...

Ipsvllqx o

Not wasting any time, are we?

Lx9rmxlz oI will make no excuses, my son. I won't ask for your forgiveness. I've betrayed you and your mother.

Lgjkwhcy oNo thoughts spared for little Mark? The poor kid...

Lx9rmxlz oNo matter where I go or what I do, I can't escape from myself or from what I've done. I'm tired of running. Kill me, so we can end this...

X1hbkhta oHarold...!

Yabjmswv o
 
Djz8cmbu o

Aawyimei oForgive me for disturbing you. Excuse me...

Lx9rmxlz oA-Arthur...

Aawyimei o......

98cljerd o
 
Zdoptmen o

 

 

 

Yr2efeok o

Well. That happened.

To be honest, I pity Harold. He was stuck in a pretty shitty situation, and it wasn't even his fault, considering he lost his memories. What's he supposed to do here? Abandon this woman that saved his life with her newborn baby to return to his family, or leave behind everything he had and let them suffer the consequences of him turning coat? Either way, he irremediably fucks someone over...

Rp42wuxl o

Well, anyway. He'll follow Adel and Leon down the hill shortly. They'll be dealing with the ballistae before they can become a problem. See, it was a good idea to have these guys clean up the southern part of the map. If I'd sent them with the rest of the team, I think the ballistae would've headed west, and that would've been catastrophic.

Pfd3qbrg o

I mean, it probably goes without saying, but this team doesn't need any more problems.

Odlqqlpi o

Incidentally, I think it's about time I revealed my shitty plan: I intend to get this guy to break his axe. Afterwards, I will spend 300 turns whacking him with Adel until he gets to 30 spear points. And then I'll promote Adel.

Somehow I have a feeling it won't work out for one dumb reason or another, but I'll try anyways. If it comes to that, I might try to do a bit of savescumming. Surely you'll forgive me. I mean, it's Adel. How else will I get him to promote?

Xbw0klra o

It's not like the gigas knight being around is so bad, anyway. If he dies, the lancers will have more room to charge at me with their 4% crit.

Dwxagqkt o

Damnit, stop nailing all your shots!

Xra8woff o

New turn time. Let's have a cripple, Sylvis.

Cbdobxvr o

Oho, Maim!

Ytprfgqt o

I didn't have time to screenshot it before the gigas knight attacked, but Ozama was crippled. So that's a victory for me.

R6pg8xuq oUblumtyt o

What a shame... this dodge does not help with my insane plan.

Aehtoncm oFfiqc8ms o

Whoa! He got doubled!? How!?

Fo7dp01z o

Seriously though, this guy's sprite is absolutely gorgeous. I wish Derrick could turn into this thing. Or Marcel, at the very least. Have Marcel promote to general, and Derrick to gigas knight. There, now I get all the fancy sprites.

Vcvvk5bm oPkjrxh5a o

The gigas knight didn't succeed, but this random bloke did? Oh, well, at least he didn't waste shield uses... that's good.

Fmy3a7yh o

Ah, blistering bollocks, it's time...

1l1lrpqi oZz5hlyrh o

Three horsemen. Wonderful. Just what I needed...

Clznaocm o

Anyway, before he has time to run, Ward captures Ozama.

Lb0ngwcf oLmjp3ku2 oU2qf12aa o

The xyston is like a regular lance, only it weighs less and has slightly higher hit. You may've noticed he dropped it. Really, this isn't the most useful capture ever. I'm just glad he's out of my hair, and the shield and extra funds are a nice bonus.

3w2zadua o

Also, Ward gained experience. Wow. Never thought I'd see the day.

9ylgvur4 oYoy4kxdy o

Heal up, Adel. Wouldn't want to lose you to a stray bolt before you could fulfill your destiny.

Imj6qgxf o4tg6orbe oXxs1vsik oAjacktrr o

That was a fine display from both parties.

R8yghlzm oVeunqokb o

Goodness, what a mess this is... Marvell can't even leave the fort anymore, because there are enough units to cover his entire movement range!

9zthegpl o

Still going at it, this guy. You know what? Fine. I don't need these guys. Reese is already promoted.

Llgnmuej o

Oh, no... nooo, please...!

Twfwppy9 o

What have I done? I should've chanced it with Reese and killed the courier...

Qe8jraab o

Hoo! Okay, that was a close one. Not close enough, though. That guy is dead.

Wzgfr1ov o

More of this.

7cxymwiz o9rjyx3gh oEh9hhjwi o

Damnit, what a waste of the knight sword.

2sxkgxuj o

Ack! Axel!

Fxgj6xvd o1z0mmupb o

Phew...

Kmqt5pnk oO7kevivi o

Good, good.

Kc7inkgw o

Time to go, now.

3p0bu2ew oEjr1corf o

Hurrah.

B6l4jfk7 o

Double hurrah!

Qb3xzsdr o3zjiqrl7 o

Here come the ballistae. I think they're close enough now...

W4gzfbv9 oZszygvep o

Hahah, perish!

Umeqh7b0 o

Oh, good experience gains!

0nbukbby o

Back up north, Sylvis gets to work on one of Ozama's underlings. They may've lost Commander, but they still have Supporter. That's not good.

Thwsikgp oTmhulqc5 o

Not the best case scenario, but certainly not the worst.

Qpvkwt8j oNcw5ffeb o

That's... not going to do too much. But every bit helps.

Isohjhc1 o

Very well.

1vxmcn2j oFadwmk9i o

Hurry up, Arthur. Those two might need help soon.

Skyrrhv9 oFma2ys4k o

Ahhh, what a shame... If Owen had a thunder orb, he could try killing Simon. Well, what can you do. Too late to fix that.

Cwvqpnyt o

Well, Axel can try it instead. He's protected by the correct charm. What could possibly go wrong?

Z9jw4hto o

A-OK.

Smnpxnei o

Two down, two to go.

Gajerjp9 o

Experience points for Axel.

W2jy9nxl o

Damnit, Reese can't reach the frontlines!

Peo166jb o

Oh Christ, that engi is almost dead.

Hu6mxlwj o

Okay, so... Now Reese can reach the frontlines.

Omju9wsi o

...You know, it is beginning to dawn on me that going after the ballisticians may've been a mistake.

Dfcbhmzl o

Well, anyway. Let's kill Marvell. Gimme a crit, Reese! You know you want to!

Sdzlozm2 oSzqw6kic o

Bitch...

Wbs7dqjh oEgpx1u5e o

Hah! Outclassed!

335fe6s3 oVo0rxarr o

AXEL!

Xcll3p0p o

Nooooo don't go there, you fool...! Ohhh, this is going to take forever...

M0mszje6 o

Oh God. Oh man, oh God! Noooo!

Fscbflhc oT8nhe5iy o

Yaaaaahhh...!

Qtxe92m3 oAjguw7by o

Out, out!

Kalm9hph oOegloagr o

Shit... at least he dodged one, but he does not have the defenses to withstand--

Lkiknznd o

Bullshit, that's just bullshit, I tell you. Poison?! Really!?

Zyicpdhr oIrqqcrpa o

At least he was able to successfully kill the ballistician...

Sozgokiv o

Run for dear life!

Pfwlhzdl oUih3pyvy o

Ouch! If my maths are correct, he should only have 20 hits before the axe breaks. Let's hope for the best.

Hmnf0z1o o

Dangit, the waste...! Stop it, Ward! Miss!

Agefbzlb oNl7tzcmc o

YOU SON OF A BITCH leave my favorite character alone. This will be the LP where my favorite survives. You wait and see!

Sd1cxwzu oXocbxztu o

Back, back! Withdraw!

Sunseeom oPyn9gigd o

Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.

A8n7tjlo o

Oh, man. Adel is in deep shit, not gonna lie...

I7qscy3w o

Larentia will attempt to take a vulnerary to him.

Nmnujyam o

We soften up the wall a bit more. Once again, though, not gonna break it just yet.

Ukdawauu oQp43lcg3 o

Fuck off! Raijin arrows!? What else!? No, go ahead! I don't think this map has thrown literally everything this game has to offer just yet.

...Actually, I think it has. Chapter 9 Berwick Saga, ladies and gentlemen. You think the lancers are bad enough. Then you take a look at the rest.

Nnffyafd o

Yay shield level.

Yaifiruk oR7f29tyc o

It's up to Arthur to protect the two dummies. Killing this guy with a crit would be a fine start.

P89fw1jq o

What? How can you do this? This is outrageous! It's unfair! How can you be in a Critical Saga update and not hit critically?!

Eextyx0a o

The update is almost over. About time the fourth stooge decided to give us a taste of his lance. A taste that I am hoping Reese will politely refuse.

Jufl0dvo o

It's a good thing you won't need to, because you don't have a sword.

Ucxnrlqm o5k3rssc5 o

Shiet! I hate you all with a passion... Why won't you just lie down and go quietly like your leader!?

D1fzkevs o

Hurray, it's more of this.

0fef2lng oAv4qh37d oKqt3nfgo o

Indeed, very interesting, yes. Carry on.

Levdsrl3 o

Hmmmm... I believe the time has come.

Gmtjbdia o
 
Aosunvha oHctruepu o

Ahhh, always a refreshing sight. It's definitely going back in the bag as soon as I can put it there, though. As I mentioned some time ago, fortify doesn't require confirmation to be used, so wasting uses is exceedingly easy.

Da48rmfc o

More light skill for even meatier heals.

2rr33xqb o

Of course the knights are also heading south. Why wouldn't they? More, more shit going at Adel and Leon! I really should've just taken the damned risk with Reese... paaaahhh!

...I'd like to know why the priest has just waited, though...

Gjd7dln8 oDwwi2kvm oBeqyv7kj o

Sylvis helps from the rear.

Zvejotox o

Damnit, now one of the engies is injured... Is this keeps going, the Head Engineer's gonna have to pick up a pickaxe and break the bridge himself!

5qboruxp o

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit...!

5vfvp7yf o

Okay, can't wait. Adel has to bail immediately.

Dvl3fdva o

Ahh. Well, that's handy. But still, he needs healing, badly.

Ihxspxbd o

Okay, Leon... I'm going to need you to do a bit of dodgetanking.

Hvtlywxv oCrkh47bh o

That is not good enough! Gotta get a grip...!

Furrvvzo o2zqlpnft o

Oh, no... Oh, sweet mercy, please no...

T1v1ltp2 oTzqqhoxz o

No! NO! NOT NOW!

Wx1h93mf o

HE'S ONLY ONE CHAPTER AWAY FROM THE BEGINNING OF HIS CHARACTER ARC! NO! HE CANNOT DIE NOW! IT WOULD BE TOO CRUEL, TOO CRUEL...!

LEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To be continued

Death count: Christine
                        Esteban
                        Czene
                        Clifford
                        Elbert


                        Faye x 2

* Unavailable

Capture count: 2 (Daoud, Elbert)

Cripple count: 1 (Perceval)

Reset count: 3 (Ward: 1, Abus: 2)

 

Current perfect streak: -99.5 maps. Maybe.

Best perfect streak: 6 maps

 

BONUS: This is what happens if Axel doesn't kill Doros when they fight. This scene does more for his character than the single line of dialogue if he wins, actually. So yeah. Take a look.

T8ydy2qp o

It's worth noting that the easiest way to have this happen is to disarm Axel. Doros is so lame that he swings five times at Axel, then shits his pants even though he's not even attempting to defend himself. Then again, Axel does have 15 strength. Doros was probably worried he'd punch his head open.

Rbumtcrb o......

Rbumtcrb o...All right. I don't care about you. All I need is the treasure.

2yf6y8em oS-Sure... It's just back there in those old crates... Just take it and go...

Rbumtcrb o...These ones?

2yf6y8em o(...Sucker.) Die!

Jw2i9xc4 o

Rbumtcrb oDoros... We're both backstabbing thieves. ...Did you really think I wasn't expecting that?

2yf6y8em o...Guah...! A-Axel... You bastard...

Rbumtcrb o...Now that that's taken care of, I can go back and end this...

9qk5ifz8 o That was pretty badass, but I didn't want to risk losing the miracle charm here. Doros needed to hit him four times on a 15% hitrate, but it's still a thing that could've happened. And, well, the axe will be nice vendor trash.

 

 

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12 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You know, I'm actually no longer sure if the courier reaching the bosses does anything. You'd think it would,

I actually don't think it does. I killed him, but the reinforcements still came. That said, I think it was fewer than what you got, so maybe some of them only make it if the courier does?

21 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Wx1h93mf o

HE'S ONLY ONE CHAPTER AWAY FROM THE BEGINNING OF HIS CHARACTER ARC! NO! HE CANNOT DIE NOW! IT WOULD BE TOO CRUEL, TOO CRUEL...!

LEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!

Oof... I must have missed his character arc somehow...Unless the citizen request in chapter 10 is necessary for it.

...And I also missed that because I accidentally deployed Marcel rather than Leon in that chapter and I didn't bother to go back because I didn't think I'd finish that try.

22 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Sylvis helps from the rear.

Kinky.

25 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

With the dusk charm, she has enough avoid that with certain weapons equipped they outright cannot hit her.

...Which isn't good. They don't attack her then.

Well, Obama should have roughly 15 hit, and everyone else will have about 35, assuming they've got Obama's Commander and supporter active.

28 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Probably won't. There are things I want. I... hope I won't regret it.

True, Meteoric Iron's pretty good. And the Phoenix brace is really good on Enid, since she doesn't need strength. (I generally like to boost Aegina's magic with the blessed brace instead, since she effectively gets at least four points of damage from it.)

30 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oof...!

Well, now that I've finished Impossible dream, I can sorta understand them! Yay!

Also, what the heck Kaga, were you high when you decided to put a

Spoiler

trap door into a cave then have a wyvern teleport in? In the middle of a desert?

Anyways, two best parts of the map:

WxdTNTz.png

I'm not gonna lie, I love pursuit. It's hilarious just to see Esteban ORKO everything in sight. He's so good...!

And speaking of hilarious...

kuJ8wzj.png

PALLAS LEIA OVERRATED!

34 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

..Wha...

Okay, is there even a Lucy at all, or was that just a plain troll?

Veria dammit...

34 minutes ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yeah, I imagine it sounds pretty bad at 0.25 speed.

Better than the miniboss music at that speed. I think it's called Vie? It sounds...Well... really bad, since the emulator always speeds up the moment the dialogue stops, then goes back down to three percent after that...

 

Fun fact: 77% of Three Houses' maps are shared, not counting paralogues. FE6 actually has fewer shared maps across A/B route and Sacae/Ilia- Sixteen non-shared maps of 36-Which means that 59% are shared.

 

 

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2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

No, I think making Elaine into a trap would defeat the whole purpose. What a plot-twist it would be, though...

But what if Elaine was intersex? Actually... I don't think there's any way to do that reveal without going into... unsafe territory.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I'm sorry, but I think I'll forever associate the name "Megami Tensei" with the time(s) Youtube sent ryona porn to me. The series is ruined in my heart. Sorry.

Well.... that's one hell of a story. I vaguely remember a recommended video related to the series with a rather phallic looking monster(?) with tentacles. Mind I neither clicked on it, researched it, or any such. But I have to wonder if it's at all related. Regardless, as such, that's the extent of my experience barring a certain character making Smash Ultimate DLC, and seeing the previews for a certain cross-over game.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

...Wait, no, never mind. Isn't Nowi, like, the same exact character except they somehow make even less of an effort to acknowledge how horrifying the things that happened to her were?

Well, she can't dance, she can turn into a dragon, and she seems to be unaware of the bullet she dodged. Also it's actually possible that they wanted her for use as a weapon rather than... then again why was she dressed like that....but then she didn't change clothes... ARHGGH. DAMMIT. Forget it.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:


So we've got Darros, the Archanean pirate who became sail; Daros, the Lieberian and father of Juliattisnacordst; and Doros, the Lazberian former partner-in-crime of Axel and Gibry. And now you want to make them into one and the same, somehow.

...Well, I can tell you one thing: It has brought me great joy to be able to write "Juliattisnacordst" again after so long.

Aum staffed jokes.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Qfiyd1mz o

Either way you pick, sooner or later you're going to have four bosses with lances charging at you. And what bosses, too. They all have Supporter, which is terrible. Ozama

Gardy the Guard.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

This fellow will patrol the strip of land between the two bridges. Gigas knights all have this special axe that grants them 20 defense. This one in particular also has an anti-Perceval brace, Counter and immunity to captures and steals. However, he does have a crippling weakness to fire. That is sure to seal his fate... right?

You cannot grasp the true form of the Gigas Knights' defense.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Vtsdqhay oHqyagtes o

Especially since everyone is in a critical mood today. What is happening? I think so far, the only enemies we haven't hit critically were the Pallas Leia victims and the dude I wanted to take alive!

Now you know how I feel.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Ftddidin o

And now, the gigas knight... if Derrick wasn't such an obvious joke character, I could see him promoting into this class. It'd suit him. But he's much too powerful already. If he were given even more power, this game would be the most unbalanced game in the series (counting FE, of course). Even though he'd still be unable to leave the starting area in a good bunch of maps.

They look like the Darknuts from LoZ Twilight Princess... except with axes.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

9qk5ifz8 o Oh, no reason.

Or Raze-on
 

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy oOof... That's gotta be rough. Lose all your memories after almost getting killed, fall in love with your savior, form a family with her, and then realize that you already had a family on the other side...

Sounds kind of like that guy from FE1/2/3. Except, not. Because he didn't have kids.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Odlqqlpi o

Incidentally, I think it's about time I revealed my shitty plan: I intend to get this guy to break his axe. Afterwards, I will spend 300 turns whacking him with Adel until he gets to 30 spear points. And then I'll promote Adel.

Somehow I have a feeling it won't work out for one dumb reason or another, but I'll try anyways. If it comes to that, I might try to do a bit of savescumming. Surely you'll forgive me. I mean, it's Adel. How else will I get him to promote?

Sounds like hell.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
1l1lrpqi oZz5hlyrh o

Three horsemen. Wonderful. Just what I needed...

PTSD activated.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Smnpxnei o

Two down, two to go.

Video game characters named Simon have issues with axes historically. As established in the final hall before the Grim Reaper in Castlevania.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Wbs7dqjh oEgpx1u5e o

Hah! Outclassed!

Sorry Captain, but there's been an InKreese in evasions lately.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Wx1h93mf o

HE'S ONLY ONE CHAPTER AWAY FROM THE BEGINNING OF HIS CHARACTER ARC! NO! HE CANNOT DIE NOW! IT WOULD BE TOO CRUEL, TOO CRUEL...!

LEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!

Please tell me this is a Cain moment.

Anyway, congrats on doing what America took years to do. You caught Ozama.... and given the date in a coincidental part of the year too.

 

 

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17 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Huh... I never noticed, actually. Is it even necessary to purchase that ballista at all, or can I just bypass it?

Can't say I ever tried it. I suppose there isn't really a logical reason for the game to remove Burroghs from the party if the offer isn't taken. But who can say with this game? But the shop also only ever sells one Bronze Ballista and only 2 stacks of bolts. So I'd say it's worth to take the offer just to have something in reserve.
 

17 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You can call that a really dumb kind of curse, but isn't there an official FE character who summons monsters when she sighs? I thought that was incredibly stupid. But nobody else seems to agree, people love her. Probably because the girl walks around with half her boobs or her belly sticking out, depending on the year.

I have no idea what you are talking about. Still, I suppose it does sound like something that IS would do.
 

17 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

What's that supposed to mean? Owen isn't gonna die, damnit!

Was just looking for a clip of people screaming in terror.
 

17 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You have to kill this guy, as you pray that he does not kill you back. This being an ironman run, I don't think it'll be an option to go after this fucker. That could spell the death of my units, and I can't keep getting units killed, at this rate I'm going to run out. I could always throw Reese at him and keep resetting until Reese wins instead of getting Vengeful'd, but that'd feel cheaty.

Worth noting this guy only moves 3 tiles per turn. He's got the other invisible skill that removes your movement. The one that still displays his movement as normal.

As for circumventing Vengeful, there are some options. Lances or anyone with Desperation or Deathmatch. Since his stats are pretty shit besides HP, maybe even Leon can take him. And of course Archers. Also Larentia could probably put herself into a position where she can Windsweep. And I suppose Ruby's Axebane would still work even against Vengeful hits.
Problem is of course the Gatling Bow guy and the Lancer. I suppose the best way to deal with them would be lure them South and either take them down quickly or use someone with Provoke to keep their attention.
I'm just spitballing, of course. Not sure what would be a truly reliable method to pull this off. Even with the reduced movement, there is not much wiggle room.
 

17 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Last, but certainly not least: the sidequests. Axel's old associate is waiting in the island house. Matthew, the cigusa herb seller, is in the home next to the river. The place where Arthur's father was allegedly spotted is the house atop the hill, amidst the woods. I'm guessing the four houses by the river are Remagen Town, and the two houses on the hill are Omrle, though by all means that probably was just a small confusion on Aethin's part. Ah, who cares.

On a related note, if someone other then Axel visits Doros, he will address them as if they were Axel. Probably also a little mixup.
 

17 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wdesxmx3 o

 

17 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Huh... I never noticed, actually. Is it even necessary to purchase that ballista at all, or can I just bypass it?

Aaaaaand surprise attack is already ruined. So this is off to a good start.

 

 

Edited by BrightBow

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8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Part 62 - Critical Saga 4. I think it was 4, anyway. Wait, what was the format for this series of titles, again? "Critical Saga X" or "Critical Saga: Part X"? Damnit, I cannot remember right now... fucking hell, and I can't remember which update had the last Critical Saga title. Am I gonna have to go looking for it? I should just post it as it, nobody cares... oh, but then, the running gag might be ruined! Oh my God, now I've done it, the title looks like shit... Bah, who cares. Volcens is an idiot. There, that's all I wanted to say. I can go in peace now. Go to bed, I mean. It's kinda late. At the time of writing, anyway. I'm probably going to upload this in the morning. My morning, of course, for some of you it'll be night-time. Funny how that works, huh. I should probably stop already, shouldn't I? I don't ever have the restraint it takes for these jokes to be good. Always take them too far, too long, until they aren't funny anymore. Sigh... Okay, that's it. I'm gonna count to three, and then I'm gonna stop: one, two, three

Uh-oh Ruben is drunk.

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

You... you! How dare you! I'll have you drawn and quartered...! Someday!

But then that means Ruben-senpai touches me? uwu

8 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Really? In my old high school, phones were forbidden. I mean, everyone had them in their pockets, but it wasn't allowed to use them under any circumstances. People obviously used them between classes, but in the middle of 'em they risked losing them. Even when there was nothing to do, you were expected to pick up some other book and study... Or, y'know, stare at the wall, which was the preferred option most of the time. Do you just do it stealthily, or is your school just that lenient?

Well now it's more like it depends on the school or professor, like my Algebra professor in Mexico never let me use my phone even if we finished an assignment, but the kids in the back seats always did anyways lmao. She was still pretty lenient to me though, and to a friend who I sorta got into trouble because I told him to go for it, but he was the best at math so the one and only time she saw him she just told him to put it away kek. I did get it taken away from me sometimes but it wasn't too big of a deal.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wha... What? No! I'm not going to do that! If anything, she's going to trip and die, because I am incapable of writing dumb fanfics without making everyone suffer, because as it turns out, I was the real Navarre all along! My writing is so edgy!

...Anyway. No, I think making Elaine into a trap would defeat the whole purpose. What a plot-twist it would be, though...

Wait it's Elaine? Damn I'm dumb as fuck for not reading the clue. Still I was just joking, considering we were just talking about anime cringe.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, I agree. She's also a brilliant alchemist rediscovering a lost art. So there's that.

Kewl!

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Bwahahahahahahahah... Funnily enough, if you look closely, that's not even Arthur's overworld sprite. For some reason, in these scenes his sprite has Elbert's colors. Don't ask me why.

I legit can't understand why Kaga never checked these things when he pays close attention to detail.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Adoptive daughter, actually. She's blind, too. You might've noticed, but it's worth pointing out.

Her story is as follows: Her ship was sunk, her family killed, and her sight gone while she was adrift at sea. She was found washed ashore by the abbey priestesses, who took her in. Some time later, Axel was found in a similar manner. Ciel selflessly cared for him while he recovered, and afterwards, he decided to return the favor by more or less adopting her. Ever since then they've been close as a real father and daughter (or more, if you think about this game's other father-and-daughter couples). But everything changed when the Gibry nation attacked...

Never noticed she was blind, I see... still pretty wholesome.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It'd be cooler if he showed any emotions or if he was ever called out on it, but as it is, I honestly can't tell if it was intentional or if Kaga just accidentally wrote a psychopath as the protagonist while trying to write Marth for the seventh time.

Yeah how many times as he done Marth-lords?

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Well, that's fine. You monster Reese.

shat ap (and then Ruben shat the ceiling) oh! inb4 Ruben says "you can't boss me and shits downwards

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Not really. I quite like metal. This is all right. Dissonant, maybe, but I get what they were trying to go for. And considering I occassionally enjoy listening to stuff like this...

Oh that's a game I've seen a few times, it's really bizarre looking. Also part of the lyrics in the one I sent is "ONEMOREGODREJECTED" so that's fun.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Read my mind. How dare you read my mind, I'll kill you.

Anyway, more than "what's up with the MC?", I'm wondering "why does the MC have two sets of eyebrows?". Seriously, look closely, he has four fuckin' eyebrows. Two big black ones, and two tiny blonde ones right on top of his eyelids.

Oh ok... now you're gonna touch me and not a painting of me which would have sucked ass anyways I bet that's even more uwu-y

And yeah SMT characters look like that, anyways the MC looks like that because he ingested a demon or sth which made him powerful, sort of not exactly like that.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I just spent 8 paragraphs ranting about porn. I don't think I'll ever be able to top this one off.

Holy fuck. What the hell? So it was an actual Megami Tensei game? Woah. SMT is usually dark and filled with demons.

Those images were pretty yikes. And your description of what you saw, reminds me of a hentai I saw once... saddest thing ever, the fact you didn't sleep well after that is terrifying, must have been some serious shit. 

However you can do something. Look through your history if it has not been deleted, the answer still lies there. Now as they say, curiosity killed the cat, are you brave enough to venture back down? Ah who knows.

Btw which Megami Tensei game is that? I'm new to the series so I'm curious, I'm definitely a twisted-fuck (but I don't watch that shit let me make that clear.)

 

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

First map theme music too? Damn. Also hey SoV is here! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's a funny scene alright.

9 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
C4f1ook4 oL2i6wmvz o

Sword skill, too. Excellent work, Reese. That's the kind of performance I want to see.

btw, how do critical hits work?

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
L5tlkpqg o

That looks good.

Perfect kills are always nice to see! Though he didn't proc his shield.

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Rgkd25s4 o

That's good too! Hahah, so far this has been nothing but luck and more luck! I pray it keeps up.

And you deserve that luck!

10 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Bjhn3umw o

That's a continuation! Hwahahahahahah... AAAAAAAAHHHH, PALLAS LEIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

WOAH! HAHAHAHAHA!

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Lolj5dhv oS67gafk2 o

Besides, it's a 97%. Psch. Down with you! With your pal safely secured and his goods (Erzheimer item included) in the pocket, we've no further need for any of you. Die!

And you were saying taking them down would be hard or a big problem, not now from what I see.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Duycg5gd o

Arthur uses Hurry to get onto the hill. He'll begin working on the archers as he makes his way to Daddy.

"Daddy" lol.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Laxgimgo o

Lgjkwhcy o Whoa, that's heavy...

H24blq3o o......

H24blq3o o...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried like that.

Lgjkwhcy oI agree, that was so rude of you, Adel. For shame! How will you get Lumiere to like you like this?

Don't be m33n to Adel, I'm rooting for him.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Rbumtcrb oSorry about this, Doros... I've no interest in the treasure myself... But I need it. I can't let you have it.

Lgjkwhcy o You know, you could try explaining to him that Gibry is going to cut a little girl's throat open if he doesn't get the treasure. I doubt it'd make a difference, but it certainly sounds more important than "I need it."

Yeah it makes more sense at the very least.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Tlhr8zjt o

...Oh, c'mon. Really? Every engineer is hiding behind this badly wounded fellow. Davis? Where'd your cojones go? Weren't you the one shit-talking everyone for "laying down and taking it"? Are his arms not flimsy anymore, or what?

Lmao, se le encogieron los huevos a Davis.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
6apvccd5 oVpb8cmkb o

Yeheaaah! That's their heals gone!

WOOOOO! Nothing but good luck so far! (except for levels)

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Vumtkhnn o

Unlikely. It's literally impossible for me to return home without Ward and Reese. And Axel isn't going to die. I won't allow it.

Also, AAAAAAAAAHHHHH JESUS, TOO MUCH DAMAGE!

That amount of damage is scary for Berwick standards.


Now that I remember, I didn't quote it but you said I would like Vestaria Saga, and yeah that could be the case.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Lgjkwhcy o Well, shit... Wait, but if you're a priestess of Raze, where's your garbage bag? That dress is way too pretty for the Church of Raze... Unless there's more to it than what we've seen ourselves. But that'd be crazy. Don't you agree, Owen?

Kexfg14m o...Why are you asking me?

9qk5ifz8 o Oh, no reason.

Ruben discovers a side of himself he never knew of before kek.

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Djz8cmbu o

Aawyimei oForgive me for disturbing you. Excuse me...

Lx9rmxlz oA-Arthur...

Aawyimei o......

I don't understand why Arthur is mad here, wait is he mad or not? Huh.

Also nice filename for Harold, you definitely didn't fail fractions because you could simplify 😄 

Quote

To be honest, I pity Harold. He was stuck in a pretty shitty situation, and it wasn't even his fault, considering he lost his memories. What's he supposed to do here? Abandon this woman that saved his life with her newborn baby to return to his family, or leave behind everything he had and let them suffer the consequences of him turning coat? Either way, he irremediably fucks someone over...

Yeah man, I feel bad for Harold...

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Jufl0dvo o

It's a good thing you won't need to, because you don't have a sword.

Also a typo in the game. 

13 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Wx1h93mf o

HE'S ONLY ONE CHAPTER AWAY FROM THE BEGINNING OF HIS CHARACTER ARC! NO! HE CANNOT DIE NOW! IT WOULD BE TOO CRUEL, TOO CRUEL...!

LEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!

Oh fuck... NOOOOOOOOOO!

 

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21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Wjp4k9ld o

Coming from the guy who will take over hostage killing duties once the first guy's bow breaks.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...The level left a lot to be desired, though... But, he does need M Shield skill. Right now his shielding rate is shaky at best.

I'm surprised you're even trying to salvage his M-shield rank.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

As it turns out, it worked out! If worse comes to worst, I can steal it with Thaddy, but then the guy would be able to charge at someone.

You could steal the Lance instead.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's certainly more dangerous than the previous guy. Max crossbow skill and raijin arrows on top of a chu-ko-nu. Thankfully, he does have a crippling weakness to 2 range weapons, since he can't move. Heck, even if he moved, it's not like he can reach across the river.

Probably should have given him Hide.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

As a fun little bonus, Axel also robbed Doros's axe. It's pretty bad, and I already got one for the atelier, so I think I'll just sell this. Every little bit helps.

You're not gonna show of Doros' states? Not that there is much to see, but that in itself is kinda funny.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

And now she waits next to the building. Next turn she'll dismount and lower the bridge.

You're not gonna use Axel for this one? Larentia is really vulnerable if she does it. Since she needs one turn to leave the building and another to get back on her wyvern. Meanwhile Axel has Hide and can just run across the sea if he does get targeted.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahh, here come the bosses.

...No, wait, I mean-- Fuck, here come the bosses!

Seems everyone just comes charging at you once the fortress is approached rather then it being on a specific turn. Even the ballista, which I'm pretty sure marks the only time in the game where enemy ballista act like normal aggroed enemies.
Anyway, still wondering what the specific requirement is. It could be being near the gate, crossing the bridge, lowering the bridge or attacking the gate.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh? Oh! He's injured! Hohoho, that's amazing. Not even for the capture, to be honest I couldn't care less. But injury means his shield is off. He'll be easier to bring down now.

You're actually trying to hold your position here rather then retreating to the island and using Axel to manipulate the bridge so that the lancers are forced to approach you from the shoals in the South which kills their movement? Let's hope for the best then.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

X1hbkhta oNo, it's all right... Let's see... It was nearly three years ago... As a priestess of Raze, I was assigned to be the healer to one of the units of the Razite army. One day, I found an injured soldier lying in the area east of here. He wore the armor of the enemy, but he was severely hurt. As a sister of Raze, I couldn't simply abandon him. I decided to treat him discreetly, at least to ease his passing.

The Empire operating South of this river 3 years ago. So that's another one for the pile of contrived Imperial operations near Navaron.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

X1hbkhta oTo my surprise, he survived, and I continued to treat him in secret until he made a full recovery.

 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

X1hbkhta oI intended to send him back to his own country once he recovered from his amnesia, but... During the time I was treating him, we developed... a sort of bond...

Although this one sticks out how it's all phrased as if it took place in Imperial territory. She "treated him in secret". "Sending him back to his own country".
Of course you could say the secrecy referred to her being a Raze cleric in Veria territory and the "own country" refers to a specific territory rather then Veria in general, seeing how she specifies that it would be after he'd recover from his memory loss. It can still be rationalized, but it most certainly feels like a stretch. I'm not sure if Verian territories are ever even referred to as "countries".
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Aawyimei oYou, a Razite priestess, saved the life of a Verian knight?

I wonder if she still keeps that detachable chin around.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Whoa! He got doubled!? How!?

Ward probably has less then 0 speed. Gigas Knights aren't as slow as one might think, since they don't carry shields.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

What have I done? I should've chanced it with Reese and killed the courier...

The reinforcements will still show up if the courier is killed, just later. Not sure if it's at a certain turn or some other condition.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Omju9wsi o

...You know, it is beginning to dawn on me that going after the ballisticians may've been a mistake.

No worries. You get the first move and the enemy will only be able to move one horse archer before you get your second one.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Dfcbhmzl o

Well, anyway. Let's kill Marvell. Gimme a crit, Reese! You know you want to!

Or you can use Reese to deal some non-lethal damage to this guy. That works too.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Run for dear life!

Into opposite direction? Seems like you could force the archers to waste movement circling around Arthur by parking him at the edge of the bridge. But if Adel and Leon run into opposite directions, the archers will have a clear path to one of them no matter what Arthur does.

Btw, do you keep the grid disabled intentionally?
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ouch! If my maths are correct, he should only have 20 hits before the axe breaks. Let's hope for the best.

Shouldn't be more then 12. It's a D durability weapon, which uses up 5 points with each hit. And green durability is between 42-61 points.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Fuck off! Raijin arrows!? What else!? No, go ahead! I don't think this map has thrown literally everything this game has to offer just yet.

...Actually, I think it has. Chapter 9 Berwick Saga, ladies and gentlemen. You think the lancers are bad enough. Then you take a look at the rest.

It's hardly everything the game has to offer. For example it has no enemies with Hide or Berserk. And this version of the map is actually easier. Since Esteban is dead and forgotten in a ditch somewhere, you don't have to deal with Sophie and her Pascanion.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Indeed, very interesting, yes. Carry on.

I mean, if both of those hits connected and went past his 58% Limit Shield block chance, that would be a dead Reese right there.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

HE'S ONLY ONE CHAPTER AWAY FROM THE BEGINNING OF HIS CHARACTER ARC! NO! HE CANNOT DIE NOW! IT WOULD BE TOO CRUEL, TOO CRUEL...!

LEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!

That's not much of a cliffhanger. I mean, he is dead. He's trapped in this corner by 3 horse archers. He can't outrun them anymore and if you don't have any healing around, he can't even survive the poison. Can't even get crippled and captured because he has Robust.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

BONUS: This is what happens if Axel doesn't kill Doros when they fight. This scene does more for his character than the single line of dialogue if he wins, actually. So yeah. Take a look.

I wonder how it's handled if Doros wins. The rule is that these kind of battles don't kill you if you lose, so maybe he just runs off when that happens. Of course given how weak Doros is, that's not very likely.
 

21 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Rbumtcrb o...Now that that's taken care of, I can go back and end this...

None who know about Axel's true nature must be allowed to live. He's the Yoshikage Kira of this game.

 

 

Edited by BrightBow

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2 hours ago, BrightBow said:

Seems everyone just comes charging at you once the fortress is approached rather then it being on a specific turn. Even the ballista, which I'm pretty sure marks the only time in the game where enemy ballista act like normal aggroed enemies.
Anyway, still wondering what the specific requirement is. It could be being near the gate, crossing the bridge, lowering the bridge or attacking the gate.

I don't know the exact requirement but I don't think it is lowering the bridge, being near the gate is probably what triggers them. Fun fact, if you have anyone near the large bridge when you trigger the charge, they will come south even if you have someone near the gate, although I have seen them go north in one retry but don't remember why.

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Spoiler
On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Except for... once again, Nintendo, who doesn't ever sell their soundtracks. Either you record the music from the game's sound room yourself, or you just go fuck yourself if the game doesn't have one such thing. And don't you dare to rip the soundtrack from the game files and upload it to youtube. Your channel will die.

Speaking of Nintendo, have you heard the news? They're releasing a pack of their greatest 3D hits for the Switch! Hurray! ...Except they're just plain ROMs with the most basic improvements possible that any emulator worth its beans includes by default, Galaxy 2 isn't even included, and the game will cease to be sold in six months! Heck yeah, it's like they WANT people to pirate!

I'll be honest: When I watched the mini-direct, I was more interested in the Switch port of 3D World. A game I really enjoyed and still have in my Wii U, but the new content interests me. I skipped Mario Kart 8 and New Super Mario Bros's re-releases due to lack of interesting new stuff, but maybe I'll pick this one up. Depends on what the new stuff is all about.

 

Yeah, the fact they don't sell them outside Japan is pretty dumb. I assume they think there's no market, which would be an easy assumption to make nowadays.

Meanwhile, as a not Mario fan, the discussion is completely out of my interest, but a timed release seems silly. Maybe they'll be separate titles after March, maybe there'll be future waves, possibly with Galaxy 2 (Hahahahahahano).

Bowser's Furry will be a nightmare.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

That'd work, but at that point you might as well use a regular USB stick and download the soundtrack from the internet. Save yourself the trouble.

While true, this one is here.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Bwahahah... Wait, but who could be his training partner? He never seemed to be the social type... Maybe it's Reese? They bonded over their lack of humanity.

Daoud?

Martel probably wouldn't throw him off.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Actually, I'd say this doesn't feel like an insult from Kaga. Remember Shadow Dragon's substitute units? That's an insult. This is like, "wow you're not doing so hot! Here, let me help you out a bit." Especially considering the charm is great, unlike SD's generics.

All of these bonus items are "legit good". The next one gives increased hit, the third one grants the Hide skill to any unit that can equip it, and the fourth item is the best axe in the game by far - a better Brymranger without the avoid decrease, better accuracy and might.

Hide.

Well there's one for you. Also, that axe could be a paperweight if in the 16 all our axe units lie.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Not quite. This is a little different from the Arkis situation.

No, the true sequel to Arkis is in another chapter down the line.

Oh no.

This can only end one way.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

To be fair, Imperial crossbowmen kick fuckin' ass, so... maybe they just overpaid the ranged division and ended up with little money to fund the infantry?

But at the atelier they said there were good materials in the spears.

So I have to assume they either underpaid their workers of they were
incompetent.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Nah, Astra deals full damage with each blow. I assume they just gave her shitty power here for scripted battle dramatism purposes.

So she still used a baguette.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Meoilxpy o...Okay, so tongue out, eyes closed?

Stx9k60n oYes... Okay, now hold on a moment... Nngh... Ahh, blast...

Meoilxpy oWhat's wrong...?

Stx9k60n oDamn skirt won't come off-- I-I mean, keep at it! This is going to be good for you, big bro! I swear!

Meoilxpy o......

(Webber used as a stand-in because we've not seen Lynette's face)

That would probably be a bridge too far for me.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Not proc - trigger. It's a command skill here. Thank God.

My mistake for using the wrong word.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

The name is never explicitly used, so no.

But isn't Karel referred to as such in BB?

And Guy as well (thanks to mistakes made translating his ending) in BS?

Post-Kaga did it first!

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

A set of wheels? What's that mean, you got a car or something?

Yeah, kinda.

It's not great, as most would expect the first to be.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Oil and Water is best paralogue because it has Hanneman in it. Anything with Hanneman in it cannot possibly be bad.

Honestly Oil and Water is so tight that I can't agree. You have to be precise to pull it off honestly and without multiple fliers it would be too much imo.

On 3H, I got to Roar of Dominion, but haven't played yet because this is one of the trickier maps and I've (finally) been playing BotW over the weekend (As an aside, BotW is well worth it as a title.) I also recruited every last one of them and am trying to figure out how I'm getting Ferdinand, Petra and Caspar up to snuff for Part 2.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Ldcylj6j o5qtbcgmn oMum0ajnu oQfiyd1mz o

Either way you pick, sooner or later you're going to have four bosses with lances charging at you. And what bosses, too. They all have Supporter, which is terrible. Ozama also has Commander and Shieldfaire for extra hilarity. Everyone other than Ozama has oxtongues, which have a +4 charge bonus, instead of just +3. Notice, too, that they'll be accompanied by two horsemen who will pepper us with arrows, as if the lances weren't enough.

(Incidentally, most of the lancers - I.E. all of them except Ozama - are carrying Imperial Knight S Shields. These are notable not only because their defense boost rivals that of the Perseid, but also because Erzheimer wants one. If the opportunity presents itself, I will attempt a capture.)

Oh, and as if all that wasn't enough, even more horsemen will arrive later on as reinforcements! There's a way to stop them, but, well...

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
7fjy5eum o3znojtet o

You have to kill this guy, as you pray that he does not kill you back. This being an ironman run, I don't think it'll be an option to go after this fucker. That could spell the death of my units, and I can't keep getting units killed, at this rate I'm going to run out. I could always throw Reese at him and keep resetting until Reese wins instead of getting Vengeful'd, but that'd feel cheaty.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
7gkddpbn oB1no3jws oElallqa4 oCsxgrxb9 o

This fellow will patrol the strip of land between the two bridges. Gigas knights all have this special axe that grants them 20 defense. This one in particular also has an anti-Perceval brace, Counter and immunity to captures and steals. However, he does have a crippling weakness to fire. That is sure to seal his fate... right?

https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/014/532/1374796030634.png

This is some shit right here.

Especially the cav squad

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Ex6f1gs0 oWhat's wrong with having a little snack? We've been working hard for days! You can't just keep feeding us that pig slop and expect us not to keel over!

78bxzjrx oI told you to shove it! 'Less you wanna eat this arrow through your skull!

Ex6f1gs0 oWith those piece-of-crap arrows and your piddly arms? You couldn't do it if you tried!

Davis is some man for some man.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Xpcuumqt o

Oh hey, it's that one guy who was picking on Clifford in Knight's Pride. A fact I foreshadowed by giving his portrait the correct name in advance.

That's some lead to have ready for 8 chapters.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

1xzvxufz oHobrqclc o

KABLOOIE-BOOMBA! Hahahahahahahah... Off to a great start, I see!

Creets return with a blast.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Syvtrcib o

...Face exactly 1% chance to get sent flying by the lancers. The cutlass and the rapier would've dropped that chance to 0, but then the lancers wouldn't have attacked her, and that's not really want I want, either. This is a risk, but... C'mon. If this happens, I think I will seriously just quit and start playing Mario Golf.

Faye's close to 0%

In Berwick.

Okay, impressive.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Vvist5vo o

Adel is, without doubt, a great unit. He is, however, not promoting. Unless... my plan works as intended. Hm hm hm...

Adel and Leon are proof for the promotion system being difficult to deal with.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Snlz9ctq o

Even more strength!? Goodness! He's kind of a one-trick pony, but if you had to pick one trick... Well, there's worse tricks than this one.

Axel Thwomp.

No other words.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Vtsdqhay oHqyagtes o

Especially since everyone is in a critical mood today. What is happening? I think so far, the only enemies we haven't hit critically were the Pallas Leia victims and the dude I wanted to take alive!

Larencritia.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

H24blq3o oThank you. I'm a bit curious, actually... Who is Deckard?

Fkn3oxsy oIt's his son. My uncle Deckard. He ran away from home long before I was even born. Apparently, one day he said, "I can't just waste my life away here growing plants in a field!" That made Grandfather mad, and the two of them got in a big fight. After that, Deckard just left...

Laxgimgo o

Lgjkwhcy o Whoa, that's heavy...

Poor boy of Deckard.

RIP Heckard.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Rbumtcrb oSorry about this, Doros... I've no interest in the treasure myself... But I need it. I can't let you have it.

Lgjkwhcy o You know, you could try explaining to him that Gibry is going to cut a little girl's throat open if he doesn't get the treasure. I doubt it'd make a difference, but it certainly sounds more important than "I need it."

I mean Doros might have gone My Precious on him.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Xk9l8kzk o

And now she waits next to the building. Next turn she'll dismount and lower the bridge. If you're worried about the crossbowmen, don't be - the troops within the fort do not leave it, even if it's possible for them to do so (remember that, in this game, enemies can cross their own gates, even if they're locked to us, and viceversa).

So I have to wonder how to handle that kind of gate. Like, should enemies ross both ways? Only exit, not enter? I don't know what's the best approach.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Izgogaqe oY5xccxdw o

C'mon... c'mon...

I assume this has more hit that 3h Deadeye.

Can probably trust more than Bernadetta and her shaky far range hit.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Vumtkhnn o

Unlikely. It's literally impossible for me to return home without Ward and Reese. And Axel isn't going to die. I won't allow it.

Also, AAAAAAAAAHHHHH JESUS, TOO MUCH DAMAGE!

What the fuck is this shit?

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Ftddidin o

And now, the gigas knight... if Derrick wasn't such an obvious joke character, I could see him promoting into this class. It'd suit him. But he's much too powerful already. If he were given even more power, this game would be the most unbalanced game in the series (counting FE, of course). Even though he'd still be unable to leave the starting area in a good bunch of maps.

It looks like a Zelda miniboss.

Or endgame enemy.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Zslfxvle o

Aawyimei oThe owner of this shield.. His name is Harold, correct?

X1hbkhta oY-Yes, he is...

Aawyimei oHarold is... He is my father!

X1hbkhta oWhat...?!

Axucpxeo o
 

Woah Arthur, calm down you.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

 

X1hbkhta oNo, it's all right... Let's see... It was nearly three years ago... As a priestess of Raze, I was assigned to be the healer to one of the units of the Razite army. One day, I found an injured soldier lying in the area east of here. He wore the armor of the enemy, but he was severely hurt. As a sister of Raze, I couldn't simply abandon him. I decided to treat him discreetly, at least to ease his passing.

Aawyimei oYou, a Razite priestess, saved the life of a Verian knight?

Xhpys60w o

Lgjkwhcy o Well, shit... Wait, but if you're a priestess of Raze, where's your garbage bag? That dress is way too pretty for the Church of Raze... Unless there's more to it than what we've seen ourselves. But that'd be crazy. Don't you agree, Owen?

Has there been non-bagmen razite faithful so far?

I feel like Raze just gets a kick out of them looking like that.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Wvusaxhd o

X1hbkhta oBut he wouldn't say a word about it... And by then, we had already been blessed in conceiving this child...

Lgjkwhcy oOof... That's gotta be rough. Lose all your memories after almost getting killed, fall in love with your savior, form a family with her, and then realize that you already had a family on the other side...

So his dad's part of the Razite alliance and a traitor.

That's rough for everyone.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Qchvvtzc o

Aawyimei oYou...!

Lx9rmxlz oSo it's you, Arthur... I'd hoped this day would never come...

And now's when he chooses to show up.

This will not be a happy ending.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Djz8cmbu o

Aawyimei oForgive me for disturbing you. Excuse me...

Lx9rmxlz oA-Arthur...

And harold still wants to know him.

Arthur can't keep that inside, can he?

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

Well. That happened.

To be honest, I pity Harold. He was stuck in a pretty shitty situation, and it wasn't even his fault, considering he lost his memories. What's he supposed to do here? Abandon this woman that saved his life with her newborn baby to return to his family, or leave behind everything he had and let them suffer the consequences of him turning coat? Either way, he irremediably fucks someone over...

Harold's accidentally joined the bad dad list.

That's an impressive turnaround.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Fo7dp01z o

Seriously though, this guy's sprite is absolutely gorgeous. I wish Derrick could turn into this thing. Or Marcel, at the very least. Have Marcel promote to general, and Derrick to gigas knight. There, now I get all the fancy sprites.

That axe looks like it hurts too.

And did Kaga do overwatch Reinhardt first?

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Lb0ngwcf oLmjp3ku2 oU2qf12aa o

The xyston is like a regular lance, only it weighs less and has slightly higher hit. You may've noticed he dropped it. Really, this isn't the most useful capture ever. I'm just glad he's out of my hair, and the shield and extra funds are a nice bonus.

That's hilarious.getting the commander like that.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:
Omju9wsi o

...You know, it is beginning to dawn on me that going after the ballisticians may've been a mistake.

Too many cooks isn't as disastrous as too many fronts in a battle.

On 9/10/2020 at 2:39 PM, Saint Rubenio said:

No! NO! NOT NOW!

Wx1h93mf o

HE'S ONLY ONE CHAPTER AWAY FROM THE BEGINNING OF HIS CHARACTER ARC! NO! HE CANNOT DIE NOW! IT WOULD BE TOO CRUEL, TOO CRUEL...!

LEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!

It's that time again.

Well I've been playing BotW a lot and I have to say, I totally get why it's a huge thing to applaud.

The opening region's larger than several games's Hyrules for crying out loud, the things you an do throughout and how you approach things is refreshing in it's openness, the world does feel alive despite how sparse it is. And I'm only a bit into the game.

I am peeved that it looks like there's 1 save full stop. That's my biggest gripe.

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Part 63 - I am a very happy person.

F5qdnmxd o:

Spoiler
On 9/10/2020 at 4:22 PM, Benice said:
  Hide contents

I actually don't think it does. I killed him, but the reinforcements still came. That said, I think it was fewer than what you got, so maybe some of them only make it if the courier does?

Could be... either way, I'm not happy.

Oof... I must have missed his character arc somehow...Unless the citizen request in chapter 10 is necessary for it.

Yes, it is.

...And I also missed that because I accidentally deployed Marcel rather than Leon in that chapter and I didn't bother to go back because I didn't think I'd finish that try.

Pffft... Well, it's all right. Game's mighty replayable anyway. I still have to try and get Volo's character arc at some point. It's gonna hurt, having to let Faye die in chapter 3 and forego her arc entirely for the sake of Volo, of all people.

Kinky.

My dude, I know what the jokes are about me and Sylvis, but are we really about to stoop as low as to misinterpret every single sentence in which I mention her?

......

Ah, you'd probably be right to do it, anyway.

Well, Obama should have roughly 15 hit, and everyone else will have about 35, assuming they've got Obama's Commander and supporter active.

35 even with that charm on a myrmidon? I marvell at their accuracy.

True, Meteoric Iron's pretty good. And the Phoenix brace is really good on Enid, since she doesn't need strength. (I generally like to boost Aegina's magic with the blessed brace instead, since she effectively gets at least four points of damage from it.)

To be honest, I think Enid should be the last of the mages to get any sort of brace. Pallas Leia does not require anything most of the time. Perceval and Aegina, though, could use the help.

Well, now that I've finished Impossible dream, I can sorta understand them! Yay!

I mean, in that map either you "understand" them or you die.

Also, what the heck Kaga, were you high when you decided to put a

  Reveal hidden contents

trap door into a cave then have a wyvern teleport in? In the middle of a desert?

Oh yeah, that's a pretty hilarious thing. One we'll see, too, since nobody is required for that sidequest.

Anyways, two best parts of the map:

WxdTNTz.png

I'm not gonna lie, I love pursuit. It's hilarious just to see Esteban ORKO everything in sight. He's so good...!

Oh yeah, Pursuit is insane in this game. No wonder it's so rare... It's more or less locked to that one lategame unit, since Esteban getting to level 20 is--

...Wait a second! How is Esteban at level 20!? And so early, too! You madman, did you just solo the game with him or what?

And speaking of hilarious...

kuJ8wzj.png

PALLAS LEIA OVERRATED!

Oh wow.

Veria dammit...

If it's any consolation, I did fall for it. I was just wondering if there's any particular reason you used the name Lucy.

Better than the miniboss music at that speed. I think it's called Vie? It sounds...Well... really bad, since the emulator always speeds up the moment the dialogue stops, then goes back down to three percent after that...

Jikes...

Fun fact: 77% of Three Houses' maps are shared, not counting paralogues.

That's... even more than I had thought. Not that map reuse was ever my biggest problem with the game. It's the fact that those maps suck. Bad design, awful cartography.

FE6 actually has fewer shared maps across A/B route and Sacae/Ilia- Sixteen non-shared maps of 36-Which means that 59% are shared.

...Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Three Houses is the most replayable game in the series, everyone. Four routes! Wow! Bwahahahahahah... Amazing. I admire the willpower of those people who replay the game four times in a row because "muh routes"... 'cause holy shit, there's no incentive to doing it.

Well, I guess there's the incentive of posting a screenshot of your savefiles on the subreddit, so it can get buried underneath the cosplays and horny fanart.

 

 

On 9/10/2020 at 6:02 PM, The Roger The Paladin said:

 

  Hide contents

But what if Elaine was intersex? Actually... I don't think there's any way to do that reveal without going into... unsafe territory.

I don't think I have the talent to draw such a thing.

Well.... that's one hell of a story.

You can say that again.

I vaguely remember a recommended video related to the series with a rather phallic looking monster(?) with tentacles. Mind I neither clicked on it, researched it, or any such.

That's probably the right call. I'm afraid morbid curiousity got the better of me in both cases. In one of them, it resulted in the weirdest possible introduction to the Megami Tensei series (mind, back then I had no idea Persona was a part of it). In the other, it resulted in a sleepless night.

But I have to wonder if it's at all related. Regardless, as such, that's the extent of my experience barring a certain character making Smash Ultimate DLC, and seeing the previews for a certain cross-over game.

Which one?

Well, she can't dance, she can turn into a dragon, and she seems to be unaware of the bullet she dodged. Also it's actually possible that they wanted her for use as a weapon rather than... then again why was she dressed like that....but then she didn't change clothes... ARHGGH. DAMMIT. Forget it.

Hahahah... ahhh, fuck me sideways.

Aum staffed jokes.

Aum only has one use, though. Any more jokes and we'll need the Dakruon instead.

Gardy the Guard.

Wardy the Ward.

You cannot grasp the true form of the Gigas Knights' defense.

Uz0oxhky o

Now you know how I feel.

I suppose I do...

They look like the Darknuts from LoZ Twilight Princess... except with axes.

I wouldn't know.

Or Raze-on

Ahahahahahahahahahaha... Every time you see an opportunity for a pun, you raze to make it as soon as possible!

Sounds kind of like that guy from FE1/2/3. Except, not. Because he didn't have kids.

Nah, that guy was just an asshole for the sake of being an asshole. He could've just surrendered. But no, gotta be loyal and die for no reason.

Sounds like hell.

It... kinda is.

PTSD activated.

Exactly what I needed!

Video game characters named Simon have issues with axes historically. As established in the final hall before the Grim Reaper in Castlevania.

Heheheheheh... Wait, but didn't TRS's Simon die to Sylpheed instead? That book ain't an axe!

Sorry Captain, but there's been an InKreese in evasions lately.

That is quite the Reeseble pun.

Please tell me this is a Cain moment.

Well... down below you'll find your answer.

Anyway, congrats on doing what America took years to do. You caught Ozama.... and given the date in a coincidental part of the year too.

What do you mean? I just googled it, and he died in may...

...Oh my God I just realized, I posted that in 10/11... It didn't even occur to me!

Wait, no, sorry, that's 11/10. Because Americans have to do everything backwards. I swear, I'll never understand the Imperial system...

 

 

On 9/10/2020 at 6:38 PM, BrightBow said:

 

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Can't say I ever tried it. I suppose there isn't really a logical reason for the game to remove Burroghs from the party if the offer isn't taken. But who can say with this game? But the shop also only ever sells one Bronze Ballista and only 2 stacks of bolts. So I'd say it's worth to take the offer just to have something in reserve.

Yeah, that's true enough. A shame I couldn't even afford it if I wanted it, eh?

I have no idea what you are talking about. Still, I suppose it does sound like something that IS would do.

The name's Hapi and she's one of the characters from Three Houses's DLC, Cindered Shadows. It's... look, not gonna lie - it blows even harder than the main game, in my opinion. But it has Shirtless Guy, Depressed Waifu #3, Boob Lady #54832482348 and Leon 2: Electric Boogaloo (not our Leon, their Leon), so everyone loved it.

Was just looking for a clip of people screaming in terror.

Right...

Worth noting this guy only moves 3 tiles per turn. He's got the other invisible skill that removes your movement. The one that still displays his movement as normal.

What...? Really? I don't get this game sometimes...

As for circumventing Vengeful, there are some options. Lances or anyone with Desperation or Deathmatch. Since his stats are pretty shit besides HP, maybe even Leon can take him. And of course Archers. Also Larentia could probably put herself into a position where she can Windsweep. And I suppose Ruby's Axebane would still work even against Vengeful hits.

What? Desperation and Deathmatch prevent Vengeful? Damnit, if only I'd known...!

Problem is of course the Gatling Bow guy and the Lancer. I suppose the best way to deal with them would be lure them South and either take them down quickly or use someone with Provoke to keep their attention.
I'm just spitballing, of course. Not sure what would be a truly reliable method to pull this off. Even with the reduced movement, there is not much wiggle room.

Well, it's a bit too late, anyway.

On a related note, if someone other then Axel visits Doros, he will address them as if they were Axel. Probably also a little mixup.

Oh, you're right. I wasn't aware that it was possible to visit the house with someone else. It's just not something you think to try out. Well, I suppose that's how the mistake got through the cracks.

Aaaaaand surprise attack is already ruined. So this is off to a good start.

Hey, now... If I brought Burroughs to this mission, he'd die. Besides, I can't even afford the thing!

 

 

On 9/11/2020 at 5:25 AM, This boi uses Nino said:
  Hide contents

Uh-oh Ruben is drunk.

I don't need booze to spit out nonsense.

But then that means Ruben-senpai touches me? uwu

...E-Ergh...

Well now it's more like it depends on the school or professor, like my Algebra professor in Mexico never let me use my phone even if we finished an assignment, but the kids in the back seats always did anyways lmao. She was still pretty lenient to me though, and to a friend who I sorta got into trouble because I told him to go for it, but he was the best at math so the one and only time she saw him she just told him to put it away kek. I did get it taken away from me sometimes but it wasn't too big of a deal.

I understand.

Wait it's Elaine? Damn I'm dumb as fuck for not reading the clue.

What even are the other options? Suicidal Millennia-old Man and Insane Rapist... there's not much else!

Still I was just joking, considering we were just talking about anime cringe.

Yeah, of course, I get it.

Kewl!

Very.

I legit can't understand why Kaga never checked these things when he pays close attention to detail.

It's weird, I agree. It's an issue that's prevalent in TearRing Saga as well. There's color inconsistencies everywhere. My theory is that they designed the palettes early on, and changes were made to the character designs afterwards. That's the only explanation I can come up with for why Leon wears red in his battle sprite and official artwork, but then ingame his portrait has a green vest. Or why Ward has a green cape in his overworld sprite and official artwork, but it's blue in battle.

Never noticed she was blind, I see...

She doesn't.

...Ahh, now I feel bad...

still pretty wholesome.

So far, yes. Let's see how long that lasts.

Yeah how many times as he done Marth-lords?

At this point? Around 8 times. Vestaria's Zade is very much another one, though I think he's either the best or the second-best (behind Leif) that Kaga's written. Reese... frankly, I wouldn't place Reese that high. He's serviceable enough, but I'd say TRS Runan is better than him.

shat ap (and then Ruben shat the ceiling) oh! inb4 Ruben says "you can't boss me and shits downwards

Why are we talking about me shitting places?

Oh that's a game I've seen a few times, it's really bizarre looking.

Damnit, the video got privated immediately after the update. Why does this keep happening?

Anyway, Lisa's a strong contender for my favorite RPG of all time. I don't usually have the patience to stand the RPG experience grind, but this game foregoes that tired old tradition. Instead, 98% of the game's enemies are unique, and what few random encounters do exist yield so little experience, it's not even worth trying to grind. Upon encountering a strong boss you can't beat, instead of repeating the same fight 20 times, the game encourages you to go exploring and find more enemies and equipment.

Or, heck, even some more playable characters! Once again breaking the usual RPG mold, the game has a cast that is almost as large as your average FE roster. 30 characters, to be precise. Most of them are optional, and a lot will hit the bench because you can only have 3 members alongside the protagonist at any time. Until you get hit by one of the permadeath moves, and then you'll be glad to have substitutes. There's even an ironman-ish game mode called Pain Mode, where save points explode after being used. Have fun savescumming the permadeath events there.

There's also status effects. In 95% of RPGs I've played, status effects are useless. You know, things like sleep and poison. In most other RPGs I've seen they miss all the time or barely have an effect. In this game they're paramount. Kinda like how Berwick Saga values equipment and skills above raw stats.

The story is dark. Like, extremely dark. Humorous at times, but when it gets awful, it gets awful. Awful as in, depressing. The story is consistently really good.

So yeah. Gud game.

Also part of the lyrics in the one I sent is "ONEMOREGODREJECTED" so that's fun.

Did Volo sing the song?

Oh ok... now you're gonna touch me and not a painting of me which would have sucked ass anyways I bet that's even more uwu-y

...Do you even know what "drawn and quartered" means?! And no, I ain't gonna touch nobody!

And yeah SMT characters look like that, anyways the MC looks like that because he ingested a demon or sth which made him powerful, sort of not exactly like that.

That explains the double eyebrows, I would assume.

Also, that explanation makes me think that the MC tried to vore the demon and that's how he ended up like that. So now I associate SMT with two different kinds of hentai. Thanks a lot, Boi.

Holy fuck. What the hell? So it was an actual Megami Tensei game?

Yes. Surprised me also.

Woah. SMT is usually dark and filled with demons.

Those images were pretty yikes. And your description of what you saw, reminds me of a hentai I saw once... saddest thing ever,

Admittedly, the second part was not the same game. Like I said, that was a full-on porn game.

the fact you didn't sleep well after that is terrifying, must have been some serious shit. 

Well, uh... not to get too much into detail, but...

A panther. Not an anthropomorphic, humanoid-looking panther. A regular panther. Also, alien lampreys. And a scientist guy who really liked to knee little girls in the face. That's what I remember the most vividly. Unfortunately.

However you can do something. Look through your history if it has not been deleted, the answer still lies there. Now as they say, curiosity killed the cat, are you brave enough to venture back down? Ah who knows.

To tell you the truth? The moment I remembered the word "ryona" was on the title in latin characters, morbid curiosity took over and I immediately gave it a try. Fortunately, it no longer seems to exist.

Btw which Megami Tensei game is that? I'm new to the series so I'm curious, I'm definitely a twisted-fuck (but I don't watch that shit let me make that clear.)

Ah, so you're not that experienced with the series... I was hoping you'd know more about it. I mentioned it in the middle of the rant: it's Giten Megami Tensei. From what I've gathered, it's a really obscure installment for the japanese PC-98, with a windows version released later. It was weirdly detached from the rest of the series, as far as I know, but it seems to be an official title.

First map theme music too? Damn. Also hey SoV is here! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!

Hey, I do like the music of SoV. It is great, that much cannot be denied.

That's a funny scene alright.

Except in this case, it may result in the tragic death of green units...

btw, how do critical hits work?

10-20 plain bonus damage is added. It bypasses defenses entirely.

Perfect kills are always nice to see! Though he didn't proc his shield.

Yeah, that's a shame. Would've been so satisfying.

And you deserve that luck!

Aww, why thank you!

WOAH! HAHAHAHAHA!

And you were saying taking them down would be hard or a big problem, not now from what I see.

Ahhh... Yeah, uh... Sorry, but those aren't the troublesome lancers.

"Daddy" lol.

Well, that's what he is, isn't it? Literally Arthur's daddy.

Don't be m33n to Adel, I'm rooting for him.

Well, in fairness, I know how his arc ends.

Yeah it makes more sense at the very least.

Then again, Axel knows Doros quite well. He probably knew there was no point.

Lmao, se le encogieron los huevos a Davis.

Eso hicieron, sí.

WOOOOO! Nothing but good luck so far! (except for levels)

Considering how the update ended, I think I may've ran out...

That amount of damage is scary for Berwick standards.

Oh yeah.

Now that I remember, I didn't quote it but you said I would like Vestaria Saga, and yeah that could be the case.

It is a more puzzley game than most of these. You should see the final map. Took me literal days to complete, but it was so satisfying.

Ruben discovers a side of himself he never knew of before kek.

I mean have you seen the filename of Owen's portrait?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I don't understand why Arthur is mad here, wait is he mad or not? Huh.

I mean, he just found his father fighting for the enemy, living with a woman that isn't his mother. He ought to be at least a little peeved.

Also nice filename for Harold, you definitely didn't fail fractions because you could simplify 😄 

Claudia's is even worse.

Yeah man, I feel bad for Harold...

We'll see what happens.

Also a typo in the game.

Where's the typo? The sword thing is weird, but I reported it a long time ago and it was never fixed, so I'm assuming it's like that in the original script. And there are no other issues with the line.

Oh fuck... NOOOOOOOOOO!

That's what I said.

 

 

On 9/11/2020 at 10:36 AM, BrightBow said:
  Hide contents

Coming from the guy who will take over hostage killing duties once the first guy's bow breaks.

Really? In my experience, the angry guy steals his bow and arrows to continue bullying the hostages. This guy only takes over when the cell is opened.

I'm surprised you're even trying to salvage his M-shield rank.

Well, I gotta try, at least.

You could steal the Lance instead.

And then he'd re-equip the shield, I'd be unable to injure him again, and I'd miss out on the one thing I wanted from him.

Probably should have given him Hide.

That would've been a dickmove.

You're not gonna show of Doros' states? Not that there is much to see, but that in itself is kinda funny.

I don't think Doros had any states. We'll have to settle for his stats.

Xr4p98vq o

I mean, the 15% hitrate against Axel was quite telling by itself. This was to be expected.

You're not gonna use Axel for this one? Larentia is really vulnerable if she does it. Since she needs one turn to leave the building and another to get back on her wyvern. Meanwhile Axel has Hide and can just run across the sea if he does get targeted.

I suffered a lapse of judgment.

Seems everyone just comes charging at you once the fortress is approached rather then it being on a specific turn. Even the ballista, which I'm pretty sure marks the only time in the game where enemy ballista act like normal aggroed enemies.
Anyway, still wondering what the specific requirement is. It could be being near the gate, crossing the bridge, lowering the bridge or attacking the gate.

Either way, I hate it.

You're actually trying to hold your position here rather then retreating to the island and using Axel to manipulate the bridge so that the lancers are forced to approach you from the shoals in the South which kills their movement?

Yes.

Let's hope for the best then.

It's funny how the big fuck-up didn't even take place there, eh?

The Empire operating South of this river 3 years ago. So that's another one for the pile of contrived Imperial operations near Navaron.

Although this one sticks out how it's all phrased as if it took place in Imperial territory. She "treated him in secret". "Sending him back to his own country".
Of course you could say the secrecy referred to her being a Raze cleric in Veria territory and the "own country" refers to a specific territory rather then Veria in general, seeing how she specifies that it would be after he'd recover from his memory loss. It can still be rationalized, but it most certainly feels like a stretch. I'm not sure if Verian territories are ever even referred to as "countries".

I never took issue with this part. I feel it's pretty clear that Harold and Claudia met further north, in occupied territory. They only recently moved to Remagen when it was taken, most likely because Harold was part of the force that conquered it.

...Which begs the question: why isn't he helping to defend the fort?

I wonder if she still keeps that detachable chin around.

Xiggi8rm o

Lx9rmxlz oAnd here I thought the dark, evil-looking robes were weird enough... Why do you even have to wear that...?

X1hbkhta oTo be truthful? I haven't the slightest idea. It was one of Pope Urbanus's first reforms. He says it "reinforces our image of superiority over the inferior Verian heretics."

Lx9rmxlz oWhat...?

X1hbkhta oI assure you, I didn't vote for Urbanus. In fact, I don't think there were many who voted for him. But this one priest went to question him about it, and he was never seen again, so I figured I should fall in line...

Lx9rmxlz o...I wish I could tell you my country was better, but my only clear memory is how despicable the king is, so...

X1hbkhta o......

Ward probably has less then 0 speed. Gigas Knights aren't as slow as one might think, since they don't carry shields.

Right, I should've known.

The reinforcements will still show up if the courier is killed, just later. Not sure if it's at a certain turn or some other condition.

Hmm... how interesting.

No worries. You get the first move and the enemy will only be able to move one horse archer before you get your second one.

Uhhhh...

Or you can use Reese to deal some non-lethal damage to this guy. That works too.

Ah, yes, my favorite part. The one where you disect all of my moves and tell me exactly why I am the worst tactician. And I want to complain, but can't, because you're right. Most of the time.

Into opposite direction? Seems like you could force the archers to waste movement circling around Arthur by parking him at the edge of the bridge. But if Adel and Leon run into opposite directions, the archers will have a clear path to one of them no matter what Arthur does.

I panicked and made a mistake.

...That's it, really. I panicked. I wanted Leon as far away as possible, and he could run a little further if he went in that direction.

Btw, do you keep the grid disabled intentionally?

Yeah, I don't like how it looks.

...Don't give me that look, I've never had any trouble telling distances in this game. If I did, I would keep it on.

Shouldn't be more then 12. It's a D durability weapon, which uses up 5 points with each hit. And green durability is between 42-61 points.

Good, Ruben is great at divisions.

It's hardly everything the game has to offer. For example it has no enemies with Hide or Berserk. And this version of the map is actually easier. Since Esteban is dead and forgotten in a ditch somewhere, you don't have to deal with Sophie and her Pascanion.

Well, that's true enough. Not only this map, but that one sidequest will also be vastly easier because that one guy won't show up. There are some legit advantages to killing off Esteban, it's hilarious.

I mean, if both of those hits connected and went past his 58% Limit Shield block chance, that would be a dead Reese right there.

...let's not dwell...

That's not much of a cliffhanger. I mean, he is dead. He's trapped in this corner by 3 horse archers. He can't outrun them anymore and if you don't have any healing around, he can't even survive the poison. Can't even get crippled and captured because he has Robust.

How about you quit pooping my party, party pooper?

I wonder how it's handled if Doros wins. The rule is that these kind of battles don't kill you if you lose, so maybe he just runs off when that happens. Of course given how weak Doros is, that's not very likely.

I thought about finding out, but he's so bad that I don't think I can manage it.

None who know about Axel's true nature must be allowed to live. He's the Yoshikage Kira of this game.

And you are Soren in real life. Great tactician that gives fair advice, and also a complete asshole.

...Nah, I don't really mean that. About you, Soren can eat a dick. Ike's dick Besides, if we went by that analogy, I'd be Skrimir. Not sure what's worse, to be honest.

 

 

On 9/11/2020 at 1:27 PM, ranger016 said:

I don't know the exact requirement but I don't think it is lowering the bridge, being near the gate is probably what triggers them.

Sounds fair enough.

Fun fact, if you have anyone near the large bridge when you trigger the charge, they will come south even if you have someone near the gate, although I have seen them go north in one retry but don't remember why.

Well, I managed to pull the ballistae but not the lancers. So that's interesting.

 

On 9/13/2020 at 11:17 AM, Dayni said:
  Hide contents

 Yeah, the fact they don't sell them outside Japan is pretty dumb. I assume they think there's no market, which would be an easy assumption to make nowadays.

To be fair, after so many years of not selling the soundtracks, it's going to be difficult to get people to stop just googling them.

Meanwhile, as a not Mario fan, the discussion is completely out of my interest, but a timed release seems silly. Maybe they'll be separate titles after March, maybe there'll be future waves, possibly with Galaxy 2 (Hahahahahahano).

Yeah, that's fair enough. It just peeves me because... Well, I am a Mario fan. But hot damn, this shit sucks.

Bowser's Furry will be a nightmare.

That's where they'll officially introduce Bowsette.

...Wait, didn't that meme die like, two years ago...? What am I doing?

While true, this one is here.

Fair enough.

Daoud?

Martel probably wouldn't throw him off.

Maybe that's how he gets his bench experience.

Hide.

Well there's one for you.

Yes. Imagine Owen with Hide. Yes, please.

Also, that axe could be a paperweight if in the 16 all our axe units lie.

...True enough.

Oh no.

This can only end one way.

Adel, please don't get any funny ideas.

But at the atelier they said there were good materials in the spears.

So I have to assume they either underpaid their workers of they were
incompetent.

That's probably the truth. They're jealous of the crossbow craftsmen getting all the dinnars.

So she still used a baguette.

Hah! Could be.

That would probably be a bridge too far for me.

Well, you should know by now that I'm disgusting.

My mistake for using the wrong word.

Don't apologize. I'm just... so happy that he decided to put less chance-based skills in this game, I have to acknowledge it every chance I get. Legit one of the game's main highlights. Skills can actually be used in plans here. Go figure.

But isn't Karel referred to as such in BB?

And Guy as well (thanks to mistakes made translating his ending) in BS?

Post-Kaga did it first!

I meant in Berwick. They never use "Sword Saint" - they just said the word saint while talking about swords. We can call that an IntSys Did it First if you want, but it's kind of a stretch.

...Then again, I spend half my time stretching things so Kaga can do them first, so... can't fault you for wanting to get back at me.

Yeah, kinda.

It's not great, as most would expect the first to be.

Well, still, good on you.

Honestly Oil and Water is so tight that I can't agree. You have to be precise to pull it off honestly and without multiple fliers it would be too much imo.

I mean, yeah, the map is fucking garbage, but that goes without saying, since it's in 3H. 3H map with Hanneman is less bad than 3H map without Hanneman. Thus, it gets my seal of not-disapproval.

(Sorry, but you made it far too easy)

On 3H, I got to Roar of Dominion, but haven't played yet because this is one of the trickier maps and I've (finally) been playing BotW over the weekend (As an aside, BotW is well worth it as a title.) I also recruited every last one of them and am trying to figure out how I'm getting Ferdinand, Petra and Caspar up to snuff for Part 2.

 

So you went for the full recruitment? That always struck me as far too tedious and unnecessary, not to mention that it destroys one of the highlights of the game's narrative (the whole concept of being forced to murder former friendos on the battlefield). But hey, if you had fun doing it...

https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/014/532/1374796030634.png

This is some shit right here.

Especially the cav squad

Oh yeah. And here's the thing - this isn't even the most difficult Berwick Saga map.

Davis is some man for some man.

It's gonna cost him his neck if I don't hurry.

That's some lead to have ready for 8 chapters.

Right? I'm patting myself on the back right now.

Creets return with a blast.

And the enemy goes "reeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Faye's close to 0%

In Berwick.

Okay, impressive.

Oh, yeah. I can hardly believe it myself.

...Knowing me, though, I'm still gonna manage to get her killed.

Adel and Leon are proof for the promotion system being difficult to deal with.

Yes.

...I cannot disagree with you there. Yes.

Axel Thwomp.

No other words.

None needed.

Larencritia.

Hah! Indeed!

Poor boy of Deckard.

RIP Heckard.

Aw, heck...!

I mean Doros might have gone My Precious on him.

Probably so.

So I have to wonder how to handle that kind of gate. Like, should enemies ross both ways? Only exit, not enter? I don't know what's the best approach.

I imagine there's some sort of unseen operator who unlocks the gate when members of their faction go through it, then locks it again so the enemy can't get in.

I assume this has more hit that 3h Deadeye.

A plain 15 hit reduction. Nothing the Rossweisse cannot handle.

Can probably trust more than Bernadetta and her shaky far range hit.

Oh yeah, in 3H deadeye was a crapshoot most of the time. Heck, usually I employed it in 2 range for the damage increase!

What the fuck is this shit?

Lancer. Y'know, the thing I no longer have.

It looks like a Zelda miniboss.

Or endgame enemy.

Well, it kinda is. We're starting to enter the later stages of the game. With how much shit is going on, it's clear that the game is done fooling around. You know... as if it ever did, at least with the main missions.

Woah Arthur, calm down you.

Well, it's an understandable reaction. As far as he knows, she seduced his father away from his family and homeland.

Has there been non-bagmen razite faithful so far?

Aside from Claudia, there's Owen and his friend from way back in chapter 3. Remember him?

Sko8qat5 o

I feel like Raze just gets a kick out of them looking like that.

Well, I won't go into too much detail here, but not all of Raze are evil bagmen - that's just Urbanus IV's extremist faction. If I can keep Owen alive, we'll find out more.

So his dad's part of the Razite alliance and a traitor.

That's rough for everyone.

Yes. Including dad himself.

And now's when he chooses to show up.

This will not be a happy ending.

Well... bittersweet? At least nobody died...

And harold still wants to know him.

Arthur can't keep that inside, can he?

He'll have to try...

Harold's accidentally joined the bad dad list.

That's an impressive turnaround.

I think it's a bit too cruel to put him there. The poor guy's one mistake was that he let the enemy whack him on the head. Everything after that was a streak of bad luck to dwarf even my own.

That axe looks like it hurts too.

And did Kaga do overwatch Reinhardt first?

Axes are everything!

That's hilarious.getting the commander like that.

I was surprised too. Usually Ozama is far more of a threat. Especially because, even though his lance deals a bit less damage than the ones his squad uses, it has a higher hitrate. You can imagine how that can easily get rough.

Too many cooks isn't as disastrous as too many fronts in a battle.

In my case, two.

...And, to be honest, it wasn't that big of a disaster. Leon's plight was entirely my fault. Other than that, the two fronts were a blessing - if the ballistae had headed west, we would've had to run away fast.

It's that time again.

Sigh... When will the day come that this stops happening...

Well I've been playing BotW a lot and I have to say, I totally get why it's a huge thing to applaud.

The opening region's larger than several games's Hyrules for crying out loud, the things you an do throughout and how you approach things is refreshing in it's openness, the world does feel alive despite how sparse it is. And I'm only a bit into the game.

I am glad you feel that way. Never been too into Zelda, myself. Or open-ended games, for that matter. Every single open-ended game I've played has been like this: I play it, I love it, I get hopelessly sidetracked by sidequests for like 60-80 hours, then I get bored and drop it halfway through the story. They're not games that I do not enjoy, but it's difficult for me to commit to them.

I am peeved that it looks like there's 1 save full stop. That's my biggest gripe.

Always fun when games do that, huh. What, got a brother or sister or anyone who wants to play the game as well? Want to try different things on a different save? Nope, fuck you, gotta find some tedious workaround.

 

D0x6rj83 o:

Spoiler
Wx1h93mf o

Last time, Leon was going to die.

Aqac0vkq o

Today, Leon dies.

Oaq5pctw o

Well, guess he'll go down in history as the guy with the warfare metaphors for love and the really weird laugh. Not that his character arc makes him look that much better.

Fshil3qk o

...Goddamnit, man... As if Adel wasn't going to have a hard enough time staying relevant. Now he can't even enjoy the benefits of Supporter...

Xyvklojy o

Damn you all, horsemen! I knew you were rotten from the moment I laid eyes on you!

Yubhk590 oChywcxmw o

Die!

G9jwbcuq oBbmd8faj oWmoxipsy oGidx26rd o

Ward once again gets doubled.

0flnu2to oX2loc0dt o

Axel is under attack. Again.

Gxtt577z o

Let's kill a guy. Somehow this will be the wrong move, too.

Uegbggge oAr19mykn oXay2v8cp o3nvdol7i o

One less enemy... Only a bazillion to go.

6rmf0ixr oPzwnppwz o

Accuracy and arrows!

C3qibecw oXdrytrkv o

You suck.

Fvdcvdfq oJdqxu6rp oYy1adt35 o

You suck too.

Vc0gdcpu o

Sigh... At least we managed to save Adel. He can heal, and when Arthur joins him and Larentia, they should be able to dispatch the horsemen. Just a shame about Leon... Then again, given that he couldn't survive a single turn, I doubt taking him in the other direction would've made much of a difference. As usual, bad tactics, awful luck.

Aoxuxyfw oIytzbfqp oIti5migb o

Sylvis continues to help from the rear. This is apparently a line that is easy to misinterpret as something dirty.

Pofsjech oAvhfeiz5 o

Goddamnit, Sylvis... Why must you be so difficult? What have I done to upset you?

K6a8y571 oDo you really want me to tell you? Because it might, uh, "upset" you.

Uedfz3v4 o ...Well, so what?! I do it in the privacy of my room! It's not like I hurt anybody, much less you! I've a right to--

K6a8y571 oI'm just rather terrified for my life, considering the amount of mistakes you make on the battlefield...

Lgjkwhcy o ...?

K6a8y571 oWhat were you talking about, though? Sounds like something I should know about...

Txzubig9 o ...Nothing! Absolutely nothing...! Look, let's just... look, let's carry on. In the middle of a battle, and all that... heheh... heh... aaahhh...

K6a8y571 o......

Lgjkwhcy o That was such a lame anime moment. And after all I complained... Damnit, I fucking hate myself...

K6a8y571 oAnd there he goes again, rambling about things that only he understands... I swear, where did Lord Reese find this nutjob?

3cxl4xfi oIt's a long story...

Aakcp4so o

Where was I, before I started to make fun of myself? Ah, right. Got another spear for Danton.

Ip5a3kiu o

...Bah. You know what? Fuck it. We've got more than enough, and these things are bad anyway. Everything in Sylvis's inventory is more important.

Bkbxmjrc oFxfnfyxk o

With half of his companions dead or bleeding all over their chains, Gardy is hardly as much of a threat anymore.

Vcj5k9go o

...It's kind of problematic that he has withdrawn so far back, though...

Pikuagxv oHonzcd1a o

I am SO sick of you all. Damned horsemen... I wish I could eradicate you forever. You have been a thorn in my side for far too long!

Wqqvktcz o

...oh, no.

Oh, no!

3jxsraju oQdi5uznh o

OHHHH, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOwait that's not Marvell yet.

Ewhcblbn o010cnctx o

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Cct8uns2 o

Are you serious.

He dodged Gardy, but he won't dodge the guy that kills him in one hit.

If you're wondering what is happening, well... Remember the Gram acts like a miracle charm. And, just like a miracle charm, after saving its wielder's life once...

Ocudka1r o9nnzwb5t o

...Ahh, there's the chapter 9 I know and love. Everything is going to shit. Wonderful. Don't be surprised if we suffer another casualty before the end of the day. This map is nice, like that.

3cfiyfbp o

Ward.

L3gbaa2e o

Okay, so this is looking bad, but it could look worse. The ballistae could've gone west, for instance. Now that would've been absolutely hilarious.

Wx2hiwqi o

At least these guys are keeping together for now. Angry guy is not exactly the most competent executioner ever.

Uak5e96p o

Sylvis, if you please.

5glgnvxz oLk2er71f oOhb2yzvq o

Naturally, he used his shield.

Eboyz4wa o

And now he's going after Reese again. The bad part isn't this - it's that he'll go way far with Canto.

Wpwcp8eq o9og0nh0h o

Oohhhh, my God... Such pests... Insufferable...!

Ybsaaa6y oHhrweghs oO5xifjer oEz0e9shj o

Down south... Well, the battle has already been lost, because as far as I'm concerned, one death means I'm bad and ugly and everyone hates me. Or should.

Jpq77r3q oEy8mtx7j o

He just keeps getting M Shield skill!

Z9r2qn2e oWq9kbuq1 o

Gotta love how unreliable he is.

Quwywhwm o

Reunite with the others. I've got to figure out my next course of action.

Efzs9xft oOux26n2b o

Another hit, more to go.

Pk4fpwj8 oZ52n1ofk o

Hoo, boy... how's the shield looking?

Jysnzqgd o

Not bad. A durability will do that for ya. But this thing is definitely gonna need a repairstone after this map... Actually, I'm gonna need to repairstone a ton of things after this map. And there are three repairstones left in the game: the one sold by Lendel, one for completing all of Lumiere's items, and another one in chapter 15. So that's fun.

O0lstts2 o48dzwuo2 o

Without Gram, Reese's combat abilities are severely diminished. But he can still do something.

Ictfblmf o

Adel is alive. The dream is not dead yet. If my crackpot plan works as intended and I can promote him after this map, he might even be saved from uselessness...

Dngngt2o o7qxbudju o

Reese!

0jnz9qg4 o

Thanks, Reese!

M5mc1rvv oKh6ad4iw o

To be fair, if he had to dodge one thing, might as well be this.

Dydmnr9p o

Not looking too bad. We've held together so far. Maybe it'll soon be time...

Pua4gofd o

Good work, Davis. I'm truly glad that you are surviving so far, being the direct reason all your friends are gravely injured.

Dbzpbe8o oRedubzg9 o

That's pretty good, Reese! Show those dastards why you're the leader.

Wwa4z5e0 o

...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

0lefvnuo o

Piece of shit! HAAAAAAA NOT THIS TIME, SUCKER! BWAHAHAHAH!

Qmoayfgk o

...Ahahahahahahah, hahahah! Ahh, but now it's over! They're not making it out of this!

Hdxmleo4 o6wnb6pvi o

Anyway, down below. Arthur can run to the edge of that horseman's range, so as not to get attacked by both at the same time.

Iwyoj1tg o9wgx7wbk oFbdcldps o

There we go, that's not bad!

Fdltcx4g o

All right, Sylvis, you're up.

Uddeg43c oRb8ojuu4 o

87% hitrate with Deadeye, no sniper arrows involved. No, really, how could I ever play this game without this bow?

1pevgfmd o

I marvell at your stupidity. What did you expect to happen, after your leader got nabbed after a single failed charge? You should all learn to fear the best sniper.

Vczy9mhq o

Not you. You must just continue wasting your axe away, unaware of the fate that awaits you... heheheheh...

U4eamjwh oJsxf2cos o

Some healing is in order, I believe.

Hcx0kux7 o

There we go. Thanks, Owen.

Nknfnci3 o

Let's not waste time. Charge! Get the final bastard!

Yighkn7k o4nam9do6 o

...What?

Tynflte6 o

Well, uh... Okay, if she equips a sword without crit, she can act as a pretty effective temporary wall against the gigas knight.

Mdr7sqmt o

Down south, Larentia--

A9lhrxr3 o

Adel--

Tknzcbdr o

...You've gotta be kidding me...

Ro5lnbvd o

Okay, let's wait for Davis to get hurt, end the turn, and...

Rllzpxg5 oRloffnaw o

Thanks. I truly appreciate that we have won after too many failed attempts.

Gqjbugyt oXpeaqj9e o

Fuck, that's no good... means he's going to go far, far away...

1fkbunmw o

Nooooooooooooo... come back... We've got cookies...!

Vmjyz0yz o3jmwk1jx oUocsu8s0 o

I am so sick of this map, and we've still 500 images to get through...

Hrcecz93 o

With his pals dead, it's only this horseman left until we've avenged Leon. Which will accomplish exactly absolutely nothing. Damnit, Leon...

T2l9yozp oIazep2om o

Arturo! Why!? Just because you kinda look like Perceval doesn't mean you must kinda behave like him too!

Ayywxy4e oFuzlmool o

This update might as well be named "We get hit 300 times and then we win."

But that'd be too spoilery. We might not win, after all.

Kkyaplwk oHh6tbpay o

Not this one, pal. Fuck, I think he's the one that killed Leon, too...!

Up5ckonq o

Fuck you, and your helmet!

Zkmnynoe o

Ahhhhhhhhhh, it's going to be so much fun to try to make something out of Adel without Leon to support him...

7s0r223g oIwxakdna o34jicxey oMxaovgyk o

Dang it, why is it that the moment Ward equips the knight sword, the fucker misses so Ward wastes more uses?

Also, yeah, he went after Ward. He had a chance to hit Faye, so I guess enemies in this game just like reliability more than potential damage. That's interesting.

...Or it'd be, if we hadn't found out back in the very first update, when the boss committed suicide on Ward because The Beard had a 1% lower chance to land the counterstrike. I'm still bitter over that.

0drctsnv o

No, no, no. You're not getting away.

Mlfi6sjh oDolfp45a o6ynkvjo8 o

We're getting there...

Qpsvzfev oWfkdk2fu o

With nobody else around, Sylvis resumes her efforts to bring down the inner garrison.

Df7qlznk o

Oh, the knights... They've only 3 move, so giving them the slip at the shallows should be fairly easy.

Grqrc6b6 o

But for now, let's focus on keeping Axel alive so Ciel does not die a horrible death. And also so I don't miss out on the chance to watch my favorite scene in the game. Probably. It's a bit of a toss-up, really.

7j5raluh o

Ouch, Davis! Regretting your stupidity yet?

Dau7fg40 o

I know I am regretting my stupidity. The sleep priest is heading towards us. And Ward is right there... Letting him get Clifforded wouldn't be right.

Qddj3thb o

On the other hand, I'm not about to miss my chance to down this guy.

Lw0kj4nv oI7u3vbb3 o

Okay, so the game is now determined to drive me to madness.

Qkdk4zi9 oPselntf0 oKnnisiho o

I don't think it'll succeed. I love it to pieces, after all. But... Ohhh, damn this map...!

Ukrwh66g oEobafwzb o

How many times have we seen these same images, now?

Lfkqrhj5 o1fsqhsxm o

The fight continues in the southern front. Arturo has decided he feels like hitting the enemy this time around.

Pkjtssu5 oQvtei86p oAtzineqx o

Slowly but surely. Maybe there's actually a chance to get Reese to use good shields efficiently.

X2y82ham oSstjupsc o

You know, if we can't kill this guy quickly, Adel might die too. Just a fun fact.

Ck7zuyes oLvozxgi3 o

Reese gets some more work done on one of the enemies.

Rrqkrdbb o

Oh? That's an interesting decision.

Bsxwk8ky oBgd6bsqm oMrsurtfv o8upuglhk o

Which resulted in a failure.

0diamvtp o

Oh wow. One of the engies is still at full health. Heh... the angry dude really is fuckin' pathetic! Hahahahahah...

1lwih8jk o

Enough fun. It's time for you to say goodbye.

S4efww3f o

In retrospect, this would've been the perfect time to bust out the sniper arrows...

Viku2ea2 o

No matter. Avenge your friend, Adel!

Rmywuw1p o

You know, the same friend who gave you awful advice, got you drunk then laughed at you.

Ymhkv42v o

...Actually, now that he's dead, it might be a good time to try again with Lumiere. He can't lead you to your ruin anymore...

Nby6aj4s o

Holy shit, he got strength. He's actually turning into a rather solid unit, statistically. Shame about the defense and the 16 spear level.

Jna5wrgd o

I really don't know why I keep posting images of this guy's actions. These guys don't matter. Reese is promoted and the Head Engineer is the only one that needs to survive.

Jrg7spvq oTfyplk0a o52cwkzxm o

Anyhow-- What!? FUCKING STOP! MOTHER THE MURDERFUCKING HORSEMEN! I MEAN-- WELL, FUCK, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! KILL! KILL! KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILL...!

Vcfg4pn7 oK8heaiqk o

This guy is still around and doing things, to my great frustration.

Pgutkm5n o0vbmmetf o

I hate each and every one of you... why won't you just lay down and die...?!

70grakcu oUkyjzg8j oKlv34cte o

Fuckin' FINALLY.

8tud291w o

Reese can die.

...This map, man... And it started so well...

Dnjvictg oWvwlnzt7 o

Fwaaaahhh...! Thank goodness...!

Yls9hz2a o

The southern squad has nothing left to do but run, run!

Hcfykju7 o

As for the rest...

Psghdote o

In today's edition of "Ruben is a complete idiot even when he thinks his moves through": I spent a good minute wondering if it was safe to advance with Owen. He needs to, if he wants his heals to reach Ward.

3rujhki9 o6dchsy3c o

Eventually, I decided to do it.

41kid1fg o

A level?

R0vsejn2 o

A bad level!?

Jk73slde o

No, seriously, how is there an engineer with full health 18 turns into the map?

Sidyayst o

Anyway, here is my mistake: I didn't take into account that the bridge control building requires 2 movement points to be traversed. Owen could leave it just fine, but he cannot return. And I've no time to get him out of there.

Zyqnsamh o

Panic began to set in yet again, with even greater intensity than when Leon perished. I had him equip holy, again, completely forgetting a crucial fact.

Ujbgvsvi oVxw7u0ti o

Also, this guy is still alive.

W4hwjq9v o

The priest is approaching. Gardy won't even matter once he gets here - anyone who is slept in range of the gigas knight will die.

Mujmxniw oBfi7btmj o

This guy, too, is still alive. And now Ward is dead. Why do I get this terrible feeling that we've made no progress over the last 5 turns...?

Kpdebb5s o

Thankfully, Ozama was carrying a concoction.

Fahp9dnk oMspk4yn2 o

Hahahahah! Foiled, enemies! Foiled you are!

G6vtyjsn o

Ahhh, yes... Well, there's nothing to worry about, is there? He has holy!

Zjqrz884 oZsbfwjz4 o

Except the enemy has Counter.

Fogvxuwc o

You know something interesting? When a character with a miracle charm would die, time freezes for a second and the character shines just before the hit connects. It's a neat visual effect. Probably have mentioned it before, but I can't remember now.

Dovdakal o

See? I was right to give him that thing. Who's laughing now?

Certainly not me. I literally began to hyperventilate when this happened. Fuck me, man... See, this is why I don't usually do Ironmans outside the LPs. I get too into it, and then I end up getting seriously stressed out. It's a feeling very few other gaming experiences have managed to instill in me, and it's not something I have the willpower to keep up with when I'm not being watched by you guys.

L6vlgodm o

Imagine my terror when Owen doubled the knight and I began to wonder if that'd trigger Counter again.

Sotkhtvy o

I mean, wouldn't have mattered. Miracle charms protect the wearer throughout the entire battle after they take effect. But still... Hoo, boy.

Mhdivs0c o

Goes without saying, but I was unable to think straight after that. I immediately had Enid move the hell out of the way so Owen could get out next turn.

M1hw3dmq oTkxa57dx o

I think it was afterwards that I realized Owen will have to leave next turn anyway, because it's turn 20 and him converting on top of us would spell our end.

Bp83nwj6 o

So yeah.

Dydhfz2q o

Off he goes, after his brush with death. I'll have to be extra careful from here on out, since he will be unprotected.

Tpuwhknl o2wb2qkkb o

Oh my God he's still alive... Still... alive...! Grraaaaaaah...!

Ioj4h1ju oF7my1jfr o

At least he dodged that. Without Owen, we're going to have to rely on the vulneraries we've left... which means Gardy has to die yesterday or we lose.

Wszn4gtw o

First, Ward must run away. It's over if he falls asleep.

Lu9krnts o

Now... Luck be with us.

5qj6umjz o0wyjna62 o

Good.

87miq7go oQ3kzbux4 o

Sylvis can continue dealing with these arseholes.

X2bzzi8z o

Adel has successfully gotten to safety. Arthur will follow suit.

Xkpeqo9o o

Don't you ever get tired of failing?

Ftub9smj o

...Pfhah! He ran out of arrows! This just ain't your day, pal...

Xqyvl5q7 oFdtoyjn3 o

Okay, okay, let's be careful. Ward needs to heal.

Qvs3rps6 o

There we go... That priest is too close, though. If he sleeps Ward or Reese, it's over...

Pmokdbit o

Of course! Of course the archer managed to get through his shield! Ward's in danger of death yet again!

Tsivakea oBbnn8yhj o

Gwaaah...! Okay, okay. Good.

Kzx5gx2o o

Holy shit I am so scared of this bastard.

Ihmfwzmv oS8x60cij o

Another guy down, at least.

K0zt0j8j o

...Faye!?

3xcqbbx4 o

...Well, fuck. That's a dead Faye.

......

...Oh, thank God it's her and not somebody else...!

H7tj4nzq o

Ah, crap! Forgot about these guys!

Raisvrew o09l5ubds o

He has a war pick, too... I had better leg it!

Jj4hg5gz oI2k1ku8x o

Ahh, hahahahah! Yes! This is exactly what I need! Now Larentia can down the bastard, and we'll finally be free of all lances.

Y3qflblc o

Just need her not to miss. Should be easy enough to pull off, don't you think?

J5djkl34 o

At last! They're down, all four of 'em! Couldn't even kill anyone! Shame about Leon and Faye and Owen's miracle charm, but this could've gone so much worse than it has...

Dbyd3uwe o

Yes.

2zpmc0gj oCnpxqhtg o

Defense! HP! Ahhh, what a sight to behold!

Jfhb4wbo o

New turn time. I've gotta kill the priest before he can do anything, but Larentia is in range of the horsemen... That's no good.

Tibouyig o

Ward can handle the priest.

Gfd2sifc oGm7ubxho o

So long, Faye. You were a good distraction. See you next chapter.

Ryz5o6ll o86g49u4j o

Faramir is the secret MVP of this game, I swear.

Kd1gjsy6 o

Reese!?

Indgni2p o

God fuckin' damn you, priest! Die!

Qc7k8jmp oIadqvnqw o

...Oh, no... No, please... no...

Zosme0xb o

...FUCK OFF, SERIOUSLY! YOU GET A HALF-DECENT LEVEL NOW!? REESE IS GOING TO DIE!

Cqra4fvq oAe0n3mj7 o

Oohhhhhhh, you son of a... a... porcupine!

Gyu949wt o

I hate sleep. I hate sleep with a passion.

Giaraa5w o

Great, we're back here.

Sxkidbob o

Before I forget, let's get Owen outta here.

Leedmjhg oWwz7jwsi o

Once more, Ward gets hit by everything...

0foxsvxu o

This guy missed, thank goodness...

28uaflyg oRntbf258 o

Faye plugs the gap again, while Ward is handed a vulnerary by Reese.

Ylq7axul o

Sylvis does her thing again. Who wants to bet she'll get speed and nothing else this time?

Erykep2f oVnqd6ccb o

The bow broke before the arrows ran out this time.

7wn6ejfa oDtbevjvm o

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand then Ward died.

Wjos9ejp o

Again, again!

Gsapjiwd oLx3viq1f oCtbmyhu5 oIeoa2irl o

Get Owen out, Ward gets shreded, guy goes after Reese...

7pmucloi o

NO, WHAT!?

Tkkdm6g7 o

I mean, might as well reset already. Ward's dead.

Lgubcnqc o

This is the third time we've reset on this map. More to follow? We'll see.

Rzewaaoj oScdjzsxk oGcxnb9fq o

Ward just barely survived this time, because the raijin asshole couldn't get through his shield.

Pka06wp6 o

Faye will take point this time. She's dead anyway, and at some point I have to make progress. I won't count it as a second death, though. Even if she survives the onslaught, I'll sacrifice her. Keep things fair, y'know. In this game it's not as simple as just benching the dead guy, so everyone is confused when they see him in the prepscreen.

Hjavziu4 o

Holy shit, this engineer, though. He's a badass!

Ox7kxaxo o

Ward heals once again.

Sg46jqvv oXxjwi3sg o

Enemies go after Faye, predictably enough.

Jndjwos2 o

Ahahahahahahah! Perfect! An 11%? Sure! Why doesn't this surprise me? I'm more shocked that she never got fucked by one of those 1%!

Hmqaxe24 o

Since she's in the right spot for it, Faye will defeat the priest before he can screw us over.

Lhxt5xaq oO0gzuj6z oOrtdlkoj oKparsqlx o

Might as well use Astra.

Ecr2e8d6 oQpcmtauj o

Great. A terrible level to see her out for the remainder of the chapter.

Dmui8voi oCxf9zq5i o

This happens again. Where'd your shield rate go, Ward?

Cxoewqky o

Larentia gets in position to kill Gardy next turn.

Cjjxwsf5 oIkowxv3k o0ehjycpy oXyijgtzk o

I have once again forgotten about Arthur. But he didn't get hit this time around, so it's fine.

Drluzaeq o

Off you go!

Qcomavm4 oUtlwlhei o

I can't wait to see just what sort of crappy level she can whip up, now that we might actually last long enough to save.

Miiiz4le oUcapifph o

More medicine.

Hvucnfck oQyjddizg o

More dodgetanking.

Qux3da6l oAjc0zuqj o

More bleehh.

4idmcovd oVeoc1lru o

Larentia is once again the Gardy killer. She had a chance to fail this time, but did not go for it.

Bvfru9wo oKtqhyukt o

This is kinda terrible, not gonna lie. HP is okay, at least...

4wmjz1vm o

Hoaaahh!

E9c4kg87 o

Well, that shield got to red fast. It's served us well, though. Could never have held on without it. It deserves a repair... if I can spare the repairstone uses.

Vaobv6ob o

Well, that's pretty good. Just gotta down the horseman, and the coast'll be clear.

95x9csma o

Angry guy's equipment fails him once more. Aww... he actually hit the invincible engineer. What a shame.

Bcbjrcc7 o

All right, so the first step now is to get Ward out of reach of the gigas knight.

Eexdszyl o

...Oh, come now... I'm never going to get out of here, am I?

Fl1xxfbb o

WHOA he actually dodged! Bahahahahahah, that's just excellent. Amazeballs, damnit!

2zxdhrmq oWxbbnev3 o

The knight tries his hand at downing Reese, but this time he won't succeed.

Jtjh61jc oKirjaih7 oGwn1i54t oDxo2msjt o

About time you died. I will relish the sight of your corpse.

...No, wait, never mind. No corpses in this game, people just vanish when they die.

Epbvxglp o

...Oh God-- Oh that's not something I want.

2mjzepqb o

Leave, quick!

Xrxnq3zh oWs7bqhvo o

Once again. This isn't going to work out, though...

9hwpbivy oJskkr96o o

I'll disarm Reese, and also park Faye on a cliff so she can't dodge. The knight should take the bait, kill her, and then go after Reese.

Tviywydb o

Oh, goodness gracious...

2klg5qtp o

I'd like to point out that the other guard still has a full set of arrows and a bow, despite the fact that this guy stole some of his equipment. Damn Kaga... Gave 'em enough gear to last a lifetime!

Fdroi8as o

It was here that I realized moving Reese to the bridge was counterproductive, as the knight would block the way to the fort and we'd have to circle all the way around. Back to the forest it is.

Lxa5lbus oBdjazoun o

Doesn't matter anyway. It's Faramir time.

Xc3rgwpg o4stapitc o

Now that everyone else is dead, I think the time might've come to break the gate open.

2tvriukw o

Hah! He may've been hit, but he's still the super engineer. No way you're killing him that easily!

K9x0fwdx o

With Faye gone, the guy picks Reese as his next target. Wish him good luck!

Trev8xgo oUbgmonag o

We're going in!

L41frvh6 o

Here's the boss. I don't think I've acknowledged him yet. He's actually a pretty big part of Esteban's character arc. Sadly, since Esteban is missing, he's nothing more than a throwaway waiting to be thrown away.

Nr3vis5e oKo6rry17 oMmcte1kt oBstsfwj5 o

The enemy wastes no time before throwing themselves at Arthur's sword.

Mdmhsgwj oFrxrwzqm o

Sylvis does the foul deed.

9ez4dofu oH4tyi4k7 o

And another one!

Vz7qefzj o

Oh, please... Another M Shield gone. I'm going to run out at this rate!

Ionqfmd8 o

Uhhh, injury! This would be an even more useless capture than Ozama, but hey, never say no to money.

Vzxixrmu oZig7zzrc o

Well?

Zr3x0kyp o

Awww, what a shame...

1obmuhvr o

It's here that I realized the perfect way to keep the knight wasting his axe on Reese.

Hzlfv5dc o

But first, Ultra Engi's latest victory.

Hcbjw1x7 o

New turn time. First off, Arthur heals up.

1sbw8tgp o

This is going to be Reese and the gigas knight until the gigas axe breaks.

Khccwtrx o97cufypl o

The spearman commits suicide via Arturo, and...

Juj6cuzp o

Aha! Gotcha! Let's see you handle that one!

Smcshnga oZhxp1hg1 o

But first, some tenderizing, courtesy of Sylvis.

Ruz77gxg o

Now you've done it. Even with the knight sword, he has no chance to kill!

Kvaeilis oKq9bnbnx o

Can't touch this. Adel is too powerful!

Vszbj3kc oQijnjmba o

And now--

Ka9exyk4 o

...Feck.

U8sxxh9k o

Jesus! Okay, that engineer better get back, and fast.

8hekizhf o2q1jp6o0 o

Almost there. I think Adel can have the kill.

Nra83dfp o

So here's the deal: the knight can't proceed past all my units. With Larentia there, he also can't attack anyone not named Reese. That's pretty nice, I think.

Ff2kysm6 o

Now we just have to wait for the axe to break.

Ovg3r83p o

Hah! That'll be your last mistake, pal!

Hqwtfynl oB8hahd8p o

If I can get Adel to level 10, and then use the knight to get him to 30 spear level... Is it too much to ask? It probably is, isn't it...

Dxy8qojt oAbavvc4z o

There's two dudes nearby with this spear. I appreciate the thought, but these two are incapable of using this correctly. I mean, they don't even start next to one another!

K4xnjoy2 o

Also, I made a mistake.

73ghqhqd oJpkvea3x o

That's better. Next turn Ward can take the gate.

Urzlxtas o279dspwk o

Adel does his thing.

C7jaqei5 o

I just love how everyone is hiding behind Super Engineer.

Twfsjibn o

Ouch! Startin' to not look so super, though...!

Hxye1rq6 o9exqmaol o

Excellent. The plan continues without a hitch.

Ily4nsty o

We're getting some M Shield points for Reese on the side, too!

Rncqwnw3 o

Oh, d'oh! Well, that's a bit of a mistake...

Zwnav57i o

Ah, we're fine.

41lcile8 oR0tcu5h8 o

Fool! Down you go!

0vbutmyq o

YES spear level for Adel.

Yug1bbkn o

Ahhh, would you look at that! It appears it's time for this guy to know how it feels like to be on the receiving end of his wrath.

Jwv0n4jq oWohd2zl9 o

Except, y'know, Sylvis is better than him and so is her bow.

Hkozucxd o

No death quote. F

Bbnn3bro oWksysj17 o

Healing time. Fingers crossed the axe breaks soon, or I might actually run out of vulneraries. Now that'd be hilarious.

Ugppciu1 o0bv9fvum oKj6kgita o

Over the course of a few turns that I otherwise skipped, we worked on breaking down the gate.

Jjgvydri o

Guh...!

Hjdsearw o

There goes the shield... This... could be a problem.

Bcyepkgx o

Never mind, it's all over for our friend the knight.

Cp9qqoat o

Uhh, skill!

Yawcv8jw o

Now... for this fellow.

Cpugrmxe o

What do you say we, uh... turn up the heat a bit?

Vmlsrgfk oXrfmvtbu oIdebaxpd oYm2jcx7l o

Hyah hyah hyah hyah hyah...!

Krfbsyjb o

Bleeeeehhh...

Si1u3qrv o

And now, for the grand finale: next turn, Larentia will dismount, leaving the knight without a way out.

Z0y3r2jr oUgbdm9yw o

Raise the bridge for extra isolation.

Kyorbtj1 oZugcfgso o

Right-o! Now... It's boss time.

Celbe02k o

Ready up an Overwatch, because he moves.

Okob48wz oYwjjktjj o

Grauve is absolutely amazing. Wanna know how amazing? Well, SPOILERS FOR ESTEBAN'S CHARACTER ARC, IF YOU CARE

Spoiler

If you do Esteban's character arc, he survives death and returns to become the biggest badass in the Raze Empire. For a small example, he has this exchange with a character we'll never meet.

Stx9k60n oIt can't be... You died in the attack on Fort Remagen!

K1bijn1f oDid I now? Guess I didn't get the memo. Lady Luck must've thrown it out before it got to me.

What a shame that we've missed out on this... it's such a great scene, and not just because of the quips.

Then again, if you do Esteban's character arc, both this map and a sidequest down the line are made harder. The sidequest in particular kinda becomes Hell with Esteban's meddling, so perhaps this is for the best...

Leaving that aside, Grauve has hilarious stats, bigger defense than Derrick, Counter, Magicbane (!!!),

......

Okay, let me stop here for a moment, because this is the first time I'm seeing this. I swear, long skill lists are my bane... Never have the patience to read. Holy shit, I legit just froze when I noticed Magicbane on the screenshot.

Where was I? Yes, Grauve. He's amazing. And that's not all:

Rflxusyy o

Look at his shield. That's an accident waiting to happen, and there are few ways to get through it. Shield-bypassing weapons like the war pick, the rapier, bodkin arrows, as well as magic. Except magic is not a good option, for obvious reasons. And that's not all!

Xvmuw6vu o

He has this hilarious spear as well! Hitrate is low, but with 44 spear skill he can nonetheless use it rather well, and with 22 might, he stands a good chance to obliterate just about anyone with it.

So... yeah. This is what you call a boss. He's going to be horrible to deal with... So much so, in fact, that I have to wonder if he's the reason the map ends when you talk to the Head Engineer. Kaga knew this guy is hilarious, so he gave the player a way out. I still want to do my dumb plan to promote Adel, though, so it's not an option.

Qp1q4a3x o

No more dilly-dallying. Time to confront this.

Xuc4d0wd o

K1bijn1f oIt can't be helped. I'll deal with them myself. Guardsman! Get the prisoners out of here. They're valuable hostages, so make sure that no harm comes to them.

Zkhihd6m o7d5naymk o

Does that mean that the prisoners are safe? I'm glad. They've been through enough.

8n592pze o

Ahah!

...You know, this is an extremely risky move. If he reflects the damage, she would...

...Oh my God, left at 1 HP... WHAT HAVE I DONE!? SYLVIS!

No, wait... I'm pretty sure the only damage reflected is the one Grauve himself would've taken, so she won't take that much. But still...

E1dj6ygz o

K1bijn1f oYou will never take it from me whilst I still draw breath!

Omvqjuml o

That line gives me déjà vu... I hope you won't blow up the fort after you're fatally wounded, Grauve!

Kirmtwym o

Anyway, Grauve takes damage and Sylvis doesn't. Thank God.

Lclqkost o

It's at this point that I regretted starting this battle without Enid nearby.

Pvohcpbo o

But I need her at the south. This knight could give Larentia trouble. 98, huh? I could use the eagle brace for a perfect 100%, but what are the odds of her missing a 98--

Lnw48bf9 o

They say an image says more than a thousand words. Then a video oughta say more than a thousand images. Here, this is the knight right now. Background music is me.

Rjmbmw0x o

And then I went and made the same mistake again.

2l2d3cst o

I hate that I feel relieved you landed a 98%.

Fjglzn0l o

Okay, so now-- wait, what is happening?

Mkv4dwud o

What!? Insubordination much!? Your leader just ordered you to escort the hostages out safely! What the hell are you doing!?

Z6g0li7l o

Well, there goes Davis... it's an all-out brawl between the archer and the engineers now. They're all equipped with pickaxes, which are joke weapons. They'll never make it unless I down that asshole...

94og9i9x oM1nt7exe oSkx83hvn o

I don't have unlimited healing, either... Dang it, if only I'd used the bad healers the entire game so they could've gotten to a point where they could use physic!

...Nah, just kidding. I regret nothing. Knowing me, Izerna would probably have died at some point, anyway.

Ovllnsed oKzjusirb o

Is this really how I'm going to have to do this? All the while praying she does not get screwed by her own arrows, of course...

Nytexe5p o

Well, fuck, it's a new turn... You know, maybe I should just stall until Enid gets there and erases Grauve with the Pallas Leia.

...With her 33% hitrate. That I didn't know about at the time.

Slkkfldc oHhf6d4a8 o

Fuck's sake, c'mon...

1pgznbut o

Ah! He ran to heal! Well, at least he's out of second lives now... And, more importantly, he's out of our hair for the time being.

T2waqsvp oOq7e5u6m o

Sylvis shoots the archer.

Nfprcra4 o

That wasn't my brightest idea ever.

Hcnnoyq6 o

Oh, in the name of-- Quick trying to fight the guy and run! Run!

Jaz46rfc oQw8vlc2u o

So uh... Yeah. I hope Grauve does not come after us.

Q4zsqo20 o

...He is coming after us. There's no chance that he'll go completely against his characterization and attack the engineers, is there...

Sgscrduz oZaryjicd o

Well, for now, let's teach this guy why you don't disobey your boss's orders: A completely unrelated party will come and shoot you in the eye.

Dkijfe8d o

You've got to be kidding me... P-Preposterous!

Ift2cqcv oM72whfdx o

Okay, so uh... I have no idea what I'm doing anymore.

Fbsjhqvv o

I think my intent here was to stall Grauve with the units that still had full health?

Esjujsl9 oBoo4fpvr o

Well, I mean, it worked, he's not dead.

Sra9wojy o

Not dead... sigh...

Diwdklsu o

Up and running, Axel!

Cbxawqik o

Up and-- Oh God!

0urqvby6 o

Anyway, as I was saying.

2tmgjnxp oHfvwm2ne o

I won't add this to the cripple counter, by the way. Crippled units that are cured don't have to miss out on entire chapters. The panacea is that powerful.

Nihsn6r0 o

Well, uh... Guess I'll just... do this again?

5oqyw4yx o

Wonderful.

Hekedabs o

If you're wondering why I didn't move Axel, well... I figured, since he has the miracle charm, he can tank one more round.

You know what the problem is? If I was going to do that, I should've just had him equip the Tabarzin. Then he could've tried to harm Grauve with a crit or something, completely risk-free. But that'd be too complicated for my stupid tiny brain.

Uv3jthuc oMcdg176i o

Woohoo. Waste of a charm, goddamnit...

Hycb9p2b o

The engineers are getting slaughtered... Well, except for Super Engineer. He had just enough HP to tank one hit from the spearman.

Qg4tl39f o

Then a second engineer came and attacked him, killing himself. Because that's what these guys should be doing in this situation.

Ddxu4prh o

No, seriously, what are you buffoons doing.

B8nttyf4 o

So, uh... You can imagine my relief when I saw this. I know that looks like not a kill, but with Focus Chant, it'd definitely gonna be a kill. Trust me.

Lea3urfz o2vrjh9t1 o

Except, of course, I had no idea he had Magicbane... And thus...

U5aoxb19 o

...Well, you could probably see this coming, since I said earlier that I had no idea he had Magicbane until right now, when I was writing the update.

She can't land a 98, but she can nail a 33 just fine. Thanks, Berwick Saga. Love ya too.

Moiv6jyx o

Seriously though, this fails and Sylvis is dead. Holy shit, I dodged one hell of a bullet there...

I know, the death portrait blows. How exactly am I supposed to portray death by double suns?

Sloqskzg o

Enid celebrates her incredible save by getting fire skill and nothing else. Which is fine.

7qvpfob3 o

R.I.P. Super Engineer. He fell because all his friends are stupid.

Vz1auzex oYtmnaklx o

I've just got to kill this guy, and then it's all over.

Btulyo44 oTspmvqao oIvs0e7gj o

Mostly over.

Vrgp3ya4 o

My man Adel, getting defense but no spear levels! Also, he just about made it to level 10. Phew...

Y7j8xjbk o

...Oh... my fucking... GOOOODDDDD I can't believe it's over. We lost Leon, 70% of our M Shields, Owen and Axel's miracle charms, a bunch of Pallas Leia uses... But it's over. We made it through chapter 9.

Jpcxfgsh o

Clean up is the only thing left to do. First, Thaddy will do the one thing I brought him for.

C8ni2nwk o

Fun fact: in my past two runs, I was constantly forgetting what was in this chest. Once again, I completely forgot here, just brought Thaddy for the hell of it (and the potential steals). Then I opened it and forgot again until the time of writing.

You know why that is? Because I've somehow opened this chest 3 times now, and I'm just now realizing, looking at the screenshot, that it says 10k there, not 1k. Yeah. I was convinced that this chest only gave pocket change, when it's instead worth two treasures.

Well, good to know I'm still blind! Ahahahah, nice. Not as nice as Dad Funds, but in lieu of that, this will do fine!

3sysijte o

Next up: This enemy.

Uxqrcid0 o

You can tell he's the spy because he's a random generic with Mercy. Clever!

W2wxnyug o

There's also this bag on the opposite hill... Reese can pick it up on his way to the agent.

Xq74txjm o

Now... about Adel.

7m0jgr2t o

I bought a couple of bad spears for him to use. 'Cause I'm only capable of forethought when it's about my stupid meme plans.

Teyamjlp o

This will be Adel for the next 200 turns. Or more.

Jxt6juxs oOj9hjqsk o

While that is happening, let's pick up the remaining things. Lonsania? Where in the world is that? Well, anyway. The greatlance is a lance with a +5 damage modifier. Adel cannot promote soon enough.

Ccxbqedk oSxcadcy7 o

Whoa! Hey, what are you doing!? There's nobody left in the map, you don't have a reason to keep pretending!

...Anyway, yeah. The spy will shoot at the units who approach him to mantain his cover, but he'll always use Mercy, so there's no risk of getting killed by him. Again, quite clever.

26pwzair o

In a very Kaga move, there's no talk command with him. He's like Faye, Czene and Kramer in chapter 2: you have to wait next to him, and then Reese automatically speaks with him.

Cwhers07 o
 
Hyicopoq o

Meoilxpy o...I beg your pardon? Oh, you must be General Brighton's undercover agent...

Lgjkwhcy o Nice. Wonderful. Brighton was clearly correct to entrust this mission to you, Reese. That was so smooth, if there were enemies left alive they wouldn't have suspected a thing.

9ghpadcx oThe foxes know my name as Ethan, but the earth and sky know otherwise. These words must be delivered to the Town of the Radiant Summit.

Meoilxpy oEr... Right, sure... What about you? What will you do?

9ghpadcx oThis crow is called to new murders, though he calls back to thee fondly. Farewell, fiery heir to the son of Aesimus...

Txzubig9 oCall me mad, but I think Aethin had a blast translating this guy's dialogue. Pffhwahahahahaha.... "fiery heir to the son of Aesimus"? What does that even mean, who is the son of Aesimus?

Hcczgc7j oQgw6qhgn o

Does it say who the son of Aesimus is? Or, y'know... Aesimus, for that matter?

Well, I just googled, and Aesimus himself is just a dude from the ancient Greek legends... But you know what the name of his son is?

Sinon. Wow. That's... honestly amazing. I wonder if this was in the original script or if Aethin was feeling cheeky that day.

K9xkxkrc o

Anyway, he leaves the map. Nothing left now but have Axel search the southern houses.

Kwvv947b oIu3zqzzi o

This time it really is just pocket change. Still, not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Tyl1ldqw o

Next.

Cfdqaqvq o

Oh, shoot! If you recall, he can't die from Search battles, but still...

Bx8ulfhy o2ta5quf1 oBakjnore o

Hoo...! All right, good. He did it.

Xjsfvkaz o

...Wait, what do you mean, "Trespasser fled"? He dead!

Ytglaodz o

Whatever. He left us his iron.

Obukm4ip o

Ehh, not bad. You could use the accuracy.

X44jpve9 o

So, about Adel. I spent a hundred turns eating through most of his slim spears.

Njob8gib o

I obtained the non-insignificant amount of 0 spear points.

Mktnvdon o

The plan is a failure, and I'll tell you why: You see, over at Serenes, it says this:

Quote

The exact conditions for each roll depend on the current turn number and the unit's Equipment Skill:

Equipment Skill Turn Limit Weapon Condition / Orb Condition / Shield Condition
Equipment Skill < 10 Turns ≤ 24 hit attempted / orb used / unit is hit
Turns ≤ 24 hit attempted / orb used / unit is hit
none hit successful / orb successful / shield successful
10 ≤ Equipment Skill < 20 Turns ≤ 24 hit attempted / orb used / unit is hit
none hit successful / orb successful / shield successful
Equipment Skill ≥ 20 Turns ≤ 24 hit successful / orb successful / shield successful
none hit successful / orb successful / shield successful

I spent a little while trying to understand what this means, and I think I got it: past turn 24, no matter your WpSkill, the only strikes that have a chance to grant more skill are successful ones - that is, the ones that actually deal damage to the enemy.

...So, uh... yeah. At this point, I went "fuck it, I'll savescum the spear points - sure they'll forgive me."

Zvosxq9m oCzmotlsb o

Well... After trying for literal days...

Pdld1pji o

This is the best I could manage. So yeah. I kept that guy alive for absolutely nothing. Well... No, that's going too far, but... damnit, two skill points and 60 EXP is awful. Adel, damnit...! Am I gonna have to spend the rest of the game savescumming to get him spear points? I mean... would you guys be all right with that?

Meh... Let's see our turn count.

Cfpfypxf o

Hahahahahahahahahahah! Perfect! At 30 minutes per turn, this means we've spent a whopping four and a half full days just standing around. Magnificent. The perfect end to this ridiculous chapter. Urrrrghhh...

Stbm1kvq o

Let's just get out of here, please.

Uiagfet4 oTfvbdn4m o
 
Nfpjm4uy o

I... don't remember that amount of surviving engineers.

Q1rwsqrf o
 
Mrayivyw o

The engies whack the bridge a bunch, and...

Yn5apvn5 o

How did the Head Engineer get out? He was on the wrong shore!

Well, regardless. It's over. That was a complete fucking mess, but in this case, it was to be expected. Heck, I almost expected it to go worse than it did! Next time, we go back and watch my favorite scene in the entire game, probably. Among other, non-Axel related things. Until then, you must farewell - I command it!

 

Death count: Christine
                        Esteban
                        Czene
                        Clifford
                        Elbert
                        Leon


                        Faye x 3

* Unavailable

Capture count: 2 (Daoud, Elbert)

Cripple count: 1 (Perceval)

Reset count: 6 (Reese: 1, Ward: 3, Abus: 2)

 

Current perfect streak: -219 maps

Best perfect streak: 6 maps

 

BONUS: The Head Engineer's death quote.

Ervtw9xv oUgjpgtwv o

...He doesn't have any. Okay.

The spy's death quote.

Ptcxnec9 oPpj4qfpn o

...Okay, let's just... go home, everybody.

 

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4 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oaq5pctw o

Leon? More like Leoff

Also I'm totally fine with you scumming spear level, heck you straight up hack the game and I'd be cool with it (probably helps that I still have no idea what's going on 90% of the time)

In other news I've started my first ever proper ironman (lord dies file is over) for shadow dragon (H1 because I'm not a masochist like Roger). I have to do the wooden cavalry next (yaaay. what fun.) and I've only lost Lena, Darros and Hardin, so it's not too bad. The only really out there unit choices I've made are dark mage Cord and former-curate, now sage Brother Navarre. 

Sorry for not replying every update but I still can't follow along with the gameplay well enough to say anything more meaningful than death puns. 

 

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2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...E-Ergh...

Bwahahaha! Not so eager to kill me now are you? Uwee hee hee!

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

What even are the other options? Suicidal Millennia-old Man and Insane Rapist... there's not much else!

I know I know! That's why I'm like "wtf, me!"

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

It's weird, I agree. It's an issue that's prevalent in TearRing Saga as well. There's color inconsistencies everywhere. My theory is that they designed the palettes early on, and changes were made to the character designs afterwards. That's the only explanation I can come up with for why Leon wears red in his battle sprite and official artwork, but then ingame his portrait has a green vest. Or why Ward has a green cape in his overworld sprite and official artwork, but it's blue in battle.

Without more info, that theory sounds good enough.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

She doesn't.

...Ahh, now I feel bad...

Hmm? Ah! ... god damn it...

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Why are we talking about me shitting places?

Because shut up was deformed to shat ap and then it went from there...

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

The story is dark. Like, extremely dark. Humorous at times, but when it gets awful, it gets awful. Awful as in, depressing. The story is consistently really good.

So yeah. Gud game.

I've heard something along those lines, yes... I may look into it.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Did Volo sing the song?

I'm the Lord and Saviour!
I have your back to the wall!
Strike without grace!
Drink from the wine of the wrath of god
ONEMOREGODREJECTED!

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Do you even know what "drawn and quartered" means?! And no, I ain't gonna touch nobody!

I looked it up so I know! But 1.- You're still touching a representation of me and 2.- you said you were gonna kill me for real so then you would have to touch me.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That explains the double eyebrows, I would assume.

Also, that explanation makes me think that the MC tried to vore the demon and that's how he ended up like that. So now I associate SMT with two different kinds of hentai. Thanks a lot, Boi.

Double eyebrows are an SMT thing.

No it's like a small bug. Not a big demon, no vore present, St.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Admittedly, the second part was not the same game. Like I said, that was a full-on porn game.

Yes, yes. I caught on to that.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

To tell you the truth? The moment I remembered the word "ryona" was on the title in latin characters, morbid curiosity took over and I immediately gave it a try. Fortunately, it no longer seems to exist.

I see...

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ah, so you're not that experienced with the series... I was hoping you'd know more about it. I mentioned it in the middle of the rant: it's Giten Megami Tensei. From what I've gathered, it's a really obscure installment for the japanese PC-98, with a windows version released later. It was weirdly detached from the rest of the series, as far as I know, but it seems to be an official title.

Hmm....

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Ahhh... Yeah, uh... Sorry, but those aren't the troublesome lancers.

Ah right...

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I mean have you seen the filename of Owen's portrait?

Precisely why I said that.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Claudia's is even worse.

What is it?

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Where's the typo? The sword thing is weird, but I reported it a long time ago and it was never fixed, so I'm assuming it's like that in the original script. And there are no other issues with the line.

huh, like there's a conjunction or sth missing there.

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

D0x6rj83 o:

This portrait looks epic yo!

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

K6a8y571 oDo you really want me to tell you? Because it might, uh, "upset" you.

Uedfz3v4 o ...Well, so what?! I do it in the privacy of my room! It's not like I hurt anybody, much less you! I've a right to--

K6a8y571 oI'm just rather terrified for my life, considering the amount of mistakes you make on the battlefield...

Lgjkwhcy o ...?

K6a8y571 oWhat were you talking about, though? Sounds like something I should know about...

Txzubig9 o ...Nothing! Absolutely nothing...! Look, let's just... look, let's carry on. In the middle of a battle, and all that... heheh... heh... aaahhh...

K6a8y571 o......

Lgjkwhcy o That was such a lame anime moment. And after all I complained... Damnit, I fucking hate myself...

K6a8y571 oAnd there he goes again, rambling about things that only he understands... I swear, where did Lord Reese find this nutjob?

3cxl4xfi oIt's a long story...

coomer?

2 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Ocudka1r o9nnzwb5t o

...Ahh, there's the chapter 9 I know and love. Everything is going to shit. Wonderful. Don't be surprised if we suffer another casualty before the end of the day. This map is nice, like that.

oof....

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Dovdakal o

See? I was right to give him that thing. Who's laughing now?

Certainly not me. I literally began to hyperventilate when this happened. Fuck me, man... See, this is why I don't usually do Ironmans outside the LPs. I get too into it, and then I end up getting seriously stressed out. It's a feeling very few other gaming experiences have managed to instill in me, and it's not something I have the willpower to keep up with when I'm not being watched by you guys.

huh... yeah it's an intense thing I see.

Also I just want to see this through to the end, sucks that this map started out well and now went to shit, all because you didn't want to take out the courier.

3 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
J5djkl34 o

At last! They're down, all four of 'em! Couldn't even kill anyone! Shame about Leon and Faye and Owen's miracle charm, but this could've gone so much worse than it has...

Fucking finally indeed!

 

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Gyu949wt o

I hate sleep. I hate sleep with a passion.

well shit.

 

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
C8ni2nwk o

Fun fact: in my past two runs, I was constantly forgetting what was in this chest. Once again, I completely forgot here, just brought Thaddy for the hell of it (and the potential steals). Then I opened it and forgot again until the time of writing.

You know why that is? Because I've somehow opened this chest 3 times now, and I'm just now realizing, looking at the screenshot, that it says 10k there, not 1k. Yeah. I was convinced that this chest only gave pocket change, when it's instead worth two treasures.

Well, good to know I'm still blind! Ahahahah, nice. Not as nice as Dad Funds, but in lieu of that, this will do fine!

That is 100,000 though! IT'S A LOT!

And yeah I skimmed over the update sorry but it was too painful and the map was starting to annoy me too. I know you put effort into it but god damn it's too much...

 

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Pdld1pji o

This is the best I could manage. So yeah. I kept that guy alive for absolutely nothing. Well... No, that's going too far, but... damnit, two skill points and 60 EXP is awful. Adel, damnit...! Am I gonna have to spend the rest of the game savescumming to get him spear points? I mean... would you guys be all right with that?

Meh... Let's see our turn count.

hahaha 219? WOW hahahaha (yes I didn't quote it I know)

Also it's unfortunate on the whole Adel not getting more weapon skill thing... damn Kaga knows everything!

5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Until then, you must farewell - I command it!

Thank you, and my command is for your well to be fare as well, see ya!


Or given that this at the start of the LP when you quote it. hello!

 

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5 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Yes, it is.

Oooooof...

Welp, next time! Or your playthrough, actually! I would have redone chapter 10 if I'd known, buuuuuuuuut now I'm at chapter 11, so not really worth it after bending over backwards for both Impossible dream and Devil in the valley. Killing all of the assassins is tough!

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Pffft... Well, it's all right. Game's mighty replayable anyway. I still have to try and get Volo's character arc at some point. It's gonna hurt, having to let Faye die in chapter 3 and forego her arc entirely for the sake of Volo, of all people.

Or (ab)using Dean! One day, I wanna let Faye land the final blow, as a crit would deal damage, right?

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

35 even with that charm on a myrmidon? I marvell at their accuracy.

They truly are the Gardyans of the fort. Their Simonstrous damage will repel all attacks on Remagen!

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

To be honest, I think Enid should be the last of the mages to get any sort of brace. Pallas Leia does not require anything most of the time. Perceval and Aegina, though, could use the help.

Well, death is a bad thing for her. I found that she made the best use out of it, since Aegina makes amazing use of the Blessed Brace, and Percy...Well, I didn't use him. I was going to, since Arrowbane + magic should be amazing, but his first impression in my recent run was to get crippled by an archer...

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Oh yeah, Pursuit is insane in this game. No wonder it's so rare... It's more or less locked to that one lategame unit, since Esteban getting to level 20 is--

...Wait a second! How is Esteban at level 20!? And so early, too! You madman, did you just solo the game with him or what?

No, actually! Not at all! I deployed him for the first time in chapter 6's main mission! My main party is:

  • Faye, level 21. Casuals: Zweihander fixes almost all of Marcel's problems, it's great! Pros: Zweihander is a really good weapon for Faye.
  • Enid, level 22.
  • Aegina, level 21, (STILL ONLY HAS 21 WIND MAGIC WHYY)
  • Estie, level 21.    47 Bow skill is nice for Pascanion. Although he gets aim at about the point that he reaches 100 hit without help.
  • Ruby, level 17-Gave her the Raze Etoile-Mostly because she's my primary tank.
  • Adel and Leon, level 14 apiece
  • Reese, level 11
  • And now, Kramer at level eight, (I WANT THE ALBATROSS, I'M MISSING ONLY TWO ERZIE ITEMS-THE DARK AXE AND THE ALBATROSS! WHERE DO I GET A DARK AXE?!)
  • And Faramir at 17-I'm just tryin' to get him for Faye's ending.

Also, I checked, definitely don't have Clifford permanently recruited-Still in the tavern. Do I need to hire him to permanently recruit him?

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

If it's any consolation, I did fall for it. I was just wondering if there's any particular reason you used the name Lucy.

Eyyy! No, not at all. I just wanted something common enough to hopefully pique your interest. (Although at this point it's probably just out of obligation to make me happy.)

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

That's... even more than I had thought. Not that map reuse was ever my biggest problem with the game. It's the fact that those maps suck. Bad design, awful cartography.

Hey, in other news, I finally got to play Three Houses! It...Hasn't been too bad so far-Nothing spectacular, but serviceable enough.

Of course, everything seems good after FE9, even with buffed enemies. I may do it again sometime, with scaling buffs rather than flat ones.

Then again, I am using Mage Raphael and Warrior Lysithea as my main two units, soo...(YES I'M PLAYING VW FIRST, I LIKE PLAYING AS THE IRRELEVANT CHARACTER!)

6 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

...Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Three Houses is the most replayable game in the series, everyone. Four routes! Wow! Bwahahahahahah... Amazing.

It appears that I erred in my math-If you played the game A route/A route through to the good ending, there would be 31 maps played-Six additional ones also can be played out for a total of 37 maps-You will always miss six maps if play through the game, for a total of 84% shared maps in every playthrough.

Meanwhile, in Three Houses, there are 53% shared maps. I apologize.

(I mean, you do have to play through the same 12 maps 48 times to get all four routes, though...)

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

I admire the willpower of those people who replay the game four times in a row because "muh routes"... 'cause holy shit, there's no incentive to doing it.

I totally agree-I also don't know if Azure Moon uses the same maps as Silver Snow and Verdant Wind at all-pretty sure CF is the only one without any shared maps. Besides the first 12, that is.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
Aqac0vkq o

Today, Leon dies.

Oaq5pctw o

 

Well. My hope of you showing that citizen request didn't go very far...

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Grauve is absolutely amazing. Wanna know how amazing? Well, SPOILERS FOR ESTEBAN'S CHARACTER ARC, IF YOU CARE

I like how he literally just Validars it and comes back to life. Twice. He does it in Klamp's map too.

Also, does the arc just end if you don't capture Luveil, or does she get Theodore'd?

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Stx9k60n oIt can't be... You died in the attack on Fort Remagen!

K1bijn1f oDid I now? Guess I didn't get the memo. Lady Luck must've thrown it out before it got to me.

Y'know, I don't even mind Luveil getting this portrait, she deserves it even if she did Tsundere it all along.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

 

9ghpadcx oThe foxes know my name as Ethan, but the earth and sky know otherwise. These words must be delivered to the Town of the Radiant Summit.

What I hear the teachers say when they're talking about math.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:
7qvpfob3 o

R.I.P. Super Engineer. He fell because all his friends are stupid.

He'd better get a spot in the death list.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

How did the Head Engineer get out? He was on the wrong shore!

No, see, he's actually Grauve and he drowned but he didn't get the memo and had some great quotes after that.

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Death count: Christine
                        Esteban
                        Czene
                        Clifford
                        Elbert
                        Leon

0/10 UPDATE, NO SUPER ENGINEER

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

                     Faye x 3

-12 UPDATE OUT OF TEN

7 hours ago, Saint Rubenio said:

Cfpfypxf o

Yo, twinsies! Only I didn't grind Adel up...I'm just that good, y'know?

(Okay, well, 187 turns IIRC. My more recent attempt was 65 turns.)

Anyways, that was a really great update! Thanks!

 

 

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