Aleph Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 (edited) There are things I have read that cause me physical pain to. Processing the (usually terribly wrong) content is incompatible with my (objectively brilliant) brain. I am sure I am not the only one who has this issue. Subjecting those like me to actual damage to our health and physical torture by presenting such material is effectively ASSAULT, which is a FELONY. So I'll start a list of such terrible things and remove any excuse anyone has of making such egregious errors. Feel free to contribute. "Could of/should of/would of" - Die right now. I'm not asking you, this is not an expression of my desire; this is required for our species to thrive. Die immediately; do not pass go, do not collect 200$. Misspellings like "infinate". You are "definately" doing it wrong. (Infinite and definite are the correct spellings, how did you actually not know that) Incorrect representations of exaggerated enunciation. Example: How doooooooooooooo? Welcome to my shop Let me cut your mop Let me shave your crop Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaintily, daaaaaaaaaaaaaaintily... Hey, yoooooooou! Don't look so perplexed Why must you be vexed? Can't you see you're next? Yes, you're next, you're soooooooooooo next! Note that the bolded part is an incorrect representation of the intended emphasis, which is "yoooooooou're so next". Another incorrect example would be "you'rrrrrrrrrrrre so next". Mr. Blanc's emphasis is on the sound intended by the letters "o" and "u" in the word "you're". He is not elongating the sound of the r, nor is he drawing out the "o" sound in the word "so". People with my (objectively acceptable) condition who happen to know the tune will read it in their head, get to the end, attempt to parse the conveyed information in tandem with what they know it should be and succumb to the ferocious migraine that will invariably erupt within their brainspace thereafter. Edited August 27, 2013 by Solais Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tables Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 i definately should of not red this thread. i feel infinately dumber as a result. It had to be done. Now to run and hide before Solais hunts me down and kills me IRL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NinjaMonkey Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 (edited) There are things I have read that cause me physical pain to. People using "to" when they should have used "too" (and vice versa). Also, people using "loose" instead of "lose". Edited August 26, 2013 by NinjaMonkey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rehab Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 Fuck the police Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kinumi Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 "Could of/should of/would of" - Die right now. I'm not asking you, this is not an expression of my desire; this is required for our species to thrive. Die immediately; do not pass go, do not collect 200$ Couldn't agree more. I hate it when people use incorrect grammar on the Internet, and this is the worst of them all for me to read. :c Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted35362 Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 wtf ru egraptr ripof lozr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peener weener Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 stop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rewjeo Posted August 26, 2013 Share Posted August 26, 2013 "Could of/should of/would of" - Die right now. I'm not asking you, this is not an expression of my desire; this is required for our species to thrive. Die immediately; do not pass go, do not collect 200$. The worst part of this is when it happens in literature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aleph Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 (edited) People using "to" when they should have used "too" (and vice versa). Also, people using "loose" instead of "lose". That's hardly fair considering my keyboard is a piece of shit. There's a difference between hitting a key and having it not register and intentionally typing an A instead of an I they are on the other fucking side of the keyboard from each other holy shit. Edit: You fuck, that wasn't a typo anyway. "Physical pain to [read]." The verb was implied. I did not mean "too" as in also, I meant "to" as in the implied infinitive. If I had meant too then I would have typed "physical pain, too" because commas are a thing and I use them. Edited August 27, 2013 by Solais Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NinjaMonkey Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 That's hardly fair considering my keyboard is a piece of shit. There's a difference between hitting a key and having it not register and intentionally typing an A instead of an I they are on the other fucking side of the keyboard from each other holy shit. A poor workman always blames his tools. Edit: You fuck, that wasn't a typo anyway. "Physical pain to [read]." The verb was implied. Because typing the word "read" at the end of your sentence was too much work for you, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prims Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 your gay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 fuck english it's a shitty language anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 I love English. More than my native tongue, actually. I think it's a wonderful language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thor Odinson Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 I had a lot of trouble adjusting to English grammar because it's really inconsistent. I wouldn't mind it so much if it had less irregularities and more consistent rules of pronouncing things, but as it stands it causes me a lot of rage. I'm a pretty good reader in Chinese, but my reading ability takes a massive nosedive in English. Alas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NinjaMonkey Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 your gay You're so immature. fuck english it's a shitty language anyway Why don't you go back to China, then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CT075 Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Why don't you go back to China, then?Ladies and gentlemen, NinjaMonkey no seriously go fuck yourself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rehab Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 No dude seriously we should all just go back to Ethiopia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darros Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 You're so immature. Why don't you go back to China, then? wow this post just reeks of irony Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightmare Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Ladies and gentlemen, NinjaMonkey no seriously go fuck yourself Seconding this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunwoo Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Uh, Ninjamonkey, how old are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rehab Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Okay for real calling somebody immature and then telling somebody else to back to their own country just because they insulted an inanimate thing (a language) just don't make sense, dude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciarre Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 go back through your mother's vagina OOH BURN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciarre Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 MATURTITTY WHAT AM I I SURE DONT HAVE IT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klokinator Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 It would only burn if alka seltzer were not applied to the vaginal area beforehand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciarre Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 pretty sure it would hurt quite a bit if you tried to shove your head through any woman's vagina but ok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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