XRay

Well, I guess it is official now, I am quitting Heroes. I have not played since Tuesday, uninstalled it and canceled FEH Pass on Thursday, and I have not reinstalled by Saturday. It is 2 am in the morning right now, but I do not think waiting for another 20 hours is really going to change my mind and reinstall the app. I will still hang around here and comment from time to time. I am still fond of the game, especially all the fun mechanics. I just cannot deal with the constant pressure and time sensitive content at the moment when I need to focus on other areas of my life. I will enjoy the game vicariously through you all. Fire Emblem Heroes is not technically my first gacha, but it is the first gacha I really love, really committed to, and spent a shit load of money on. Fire Emblem Heroes will also be the last. I do not regret spending all that money on a game series I love, but damn, I am not doing that again. I think I will stick with regular games from now on.

Hm... That is strangely convincing. I am not going to use it on a vacation though. My friends have been trying to get me to quit to no avail for the past few years. Maybe I am just really tired right now in the morning and more prone to forceful suggestion. I already forgot to log in yesterday. Let me see if I can avoid logging in today. I will uninstall the game tomorrow morning if I do not log in at all today. And if I do not reinstall by the end of the week, maybe say Saturday, then that probably means I am quitting for good and I will let you guys know. It feels weird trying to quit right now with one of my favorite types of Heroes being introduced soon. Maybe it is best to leave on a high note while I am still fond of the game and genuinely somewhat excited. Farewell, Ninian: Ice Dragon Oracle, the most bonkers Firesweeping-Future Vision-Canto Dancer/Singer I will ever meet. Maybe in another timeline or lifetime, I would have pulled for someone that sounds so fun.

Probably two or three. A few months ago, there were a bunch of Three Houses Foci with guaranteed summons, so I spent about 700 on all of them.

Right now, I only spend enough money to get guaranteed summons, and get whatever Special Orb packs they have.

I do not think I can intentionally not do a mode. For me, it is either all or nothing. I am not going to beat myself over forgetting to do a mode or anything like that, but I am not going to ignore a mode either if I see it. I unintentionally dropped Arena Assault for the last few weeks because I kept forgetting to do it, since they stopped giving the weekly quest for the mode, and I rely on those quests as reminders, especially now when I need it the most since there are other stuff constantly occupying my mind. I personally much rather do Arena Assault than various Summoner Duels, but for some reason I remember to do the modes I least like. I do not particularly hate Summoner Duels as a concept, but it becomes less enjoyable when it is forced upon you every other week. Summoner Duel S is the version I like the least; while I have a massive barracks with a variety of tools to choose from, none of my tools are particularly sharp due to a lack of merges. So no matter what team I pick for my opponent, it always seems like they have more merges than me. Part me of wants to quit, but part of me does not want to quit either. For now, wanting to continue playing is stronger, but that sentiment is quickly getting weaker by the day.

Hm... I never thought I would think this way, but I kind of want to quit Heroes more and more lately. There is nothing wrong with Heroes, but I am just depressed lately, and Heroes and a lot of other hobbies do not feel as fun as it used to. I want to focus more on other areas of my life, but unlike other hobbies where I can just drop it and pick it back up later, Heroes feels kind of overwhelming with all the time sensitive content, so it feels like I cannot really take a break. And if I do take a break, then I will probably quit Heroes for good. Well, I guess I will keep playing Heroes for now. Hopefully, my shitty emotional and mental state is just a temporary phase and I do not quit Heroes at all. If I do quit though, I will let you guys know for sure before I go.

What the fuck. I just woke up. The last post I typed is way longer than my original post. I guess I was still a bit high, and half asleep too. I still feel a bit down thinking about her right now, but I think I will be alright. I will probably visit my friend in a bit to help me sort my feelings out too. Cheers guys. Thanks for reading.

I think I feel a little better now. I... am... not... sure... if I am giving up on Edelgard... but it feels like that. I think I will still put in some effort, but it will be minimal effort, cause why the hell not. If she loves me later down the line, then awesome. If not, that is okay too, because I am not going to expect her to return my feelings anymore. I guess it is pretty clear to me now that she is not interested in me like how I am interested in her. I have not told her that I like her, but I think she knows I like her. It is pretty freaking obvious. I went to the cemetary twice over the past few days visiting my friend who died. I still felt like shit today thinking about her (well, I guess yesterday since the date line just passed), but I felt a bit more confident, driven, hopeful, and purposeful after visiting my dead friend. I find it a bit humorous that my live friends are so tired of hearing me talking about Edelgard that I resorted to bothering my dead friend, because he is the only one who literally cannot say no to me unloading my feelings. Although I am not super close with my dead friend, being there with him made me sad that if he was still alive, there was a chance that I could have been closer to him. I told him I really wished Edelgard loved me back, and I am not sure what the fuck I am supposed to do, but I also got a feeling that things will get better. I still felt like shit when thinking about Edelgard throughout the day, but I feel like I am able to compartmentalize it a bit better, and think about more positive things. I know there are more important things than Edelgard, but I guess I did not really realize it until I visited my dead friend, if that made sense. Like knowing and actively realizing it feels different. With one friend already dead; feeling distant with another friend; another friend is moving away; and two other friends being more preoccupied with their significant other, I realize I need to make more friends. While my friends have been there for me, so have some coworkers, and I think it is in my best interest to be friends with the coworkers who were with me. I guess my goal is to establish a more permanent relationship with my coworkers and make as many friends out of them as possible, especially the ones who were there for me. Even though my original purpose to give plasma was to help Edelgard if she ever needs it, I can still spend that money on myself. I actually feel pretty financially secure now since they pay a decent amount for the plasma you give. With that extra money, I feel like I have enough to save and invest, and I even thought about starting a 3D printing business (I wanted to try it with a cheaper printer, cause worse case scenario if the business sucks, I still got a 3D printer that I can use for myself for D&D miniatures and anything else I want to play with). I also got a gym membership recently to work out. The original reason I wanted to work out was so that I can easily lift Edelgard up if needed to. Since I am not longer pursuing her to the same degree anymore, I am not sure if I will continue my gym membership, cause I can technically work out for free. If I continue working out, then cool, I got a new healthy habit. If not, that is still cool too, because I will be saving money. Either way, I feel positive about it. I also plan to try out free dance lessons, and I think it is a great way to socialize with and meet girls to find that spark again. I do not particularly enjoy dancing, but I do enjoy dancing with a girl that I like, so if I feel those sparks, maybe I can give that new girl a try. I also want to spend more time with my cat, cause I felt like I have not given much attention lately since I have been hanging out with my friends so much to pour my heart out. I kind of feel guilty that I have not spent much time with my cat, so I am happy that I am trying to spend more time with her now. I got a bit high and talked with my friends a lot after work, and I guess I really felt I am ready to move on since it did not hurt very much when I thought about her. Now that I just got home though, I guess feelings do not just disappear overnight, and my sober self still feels sad thinking about her. The main difference now is that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and whatever sadness I currently feel will lessen over time and eventually pass. So yeah, I guess I still feel like shit when I think about her, but I smiled and joked a lot more today. Besides the depression, life is actually decent. Life could be so much better, I could win the lottery, I could murder people I hate without consequence, Edelgard could love me back, or hell, multiple waifus can love me back, but I guess I should be happy with what I have now. Because of her, I am making new friends, I am motivated to get into a better financial position, I am forming healthier habits, I found a way to meet girls more easily that felt more natural to me than meeting them at a bar, and I realize the most important girl in my life right now is my cat Boots. This is not the happy ending I want, but it is at least an ending that I can see as glass half full. It hurts right now, but I think I will be okay. I still really want Edelgard right now, but I will find that Lucina, Anna, Camilla, Plumeria, or whoever that special someone may be in the future. Edit: Oh yeah, because of Edelgard, I guess another good thing is that I am not as preoccupied and obssessed with Heroes as much. I do not think I will quit Heroes, but I could also save a lot more and put more money to use if I play less Heroes.

Generally, the units you would give Rearmed Weapons to are: 1. Units with unusable or shit Refines (e.g.: Hinata, Lloyd) 2. Units unlikely to get Refines or exclusive Weapons (e.g.: Dancers/Singers, Special Heroes and associated Grail units without exclusive Weapons) 3. Units with Refines that are not necessarily bad, but are completely or mostly outclassed (e.g.: Joshua, Seliph) 4. Units with Refines that are so different from the Arcane Weapon, that the unit can fulfill a different role (e.g.: Corrin: Fateful Prince is normally a support unit, but he can be a combat unit with Arcane Éljúðnir; Mia is normally a player phase unit, but she can be a dual phase or enemy phase unit with Arcane Éljúðnir) Units in the first two categories should have dibs on Arcane Weapons, since they need it the most. I would not recommend giving units in the third category Rearmed Weapons, since their Refines are decent enough already, but if you use those units a lot, then it may be worth it to give them Rearmed Weapons to eke out some extra performance and make your life easier. I would not recommend units in the fourth category either since those units already have a well defined niche, but if you really hate using them in their default niche, then you may want to consider changing their Weapon and use them in a play style more to your liking.

Hm, I guess that is true. I think it is better to be easily recognizable than to spend all that effort and still have people wondering who you are. One of my coworker and a few of his friends are probably dressing up as Haikyuu characters, so they are all pretty low effort too since all they need are just matching jerseys and sport shorts. I guess I should not feel too bad about doing something low effort. I heard of the anime, but I have not actually watched it. Good time to dive into it now just in case I want some more options. I have not heard of the game until like last year or the year before.

A few coworkers of mine are going to an event in late October, and there are going to be lots of dancing along with costumes. I am still on the fence about going, but if I do go, what should my costume be? Even though it would be fall and as much as I want to cosplay as something a bit more fancy like Robin or Reinhardt, global warming is a fucking thing, and on top of the sweat from dancing, I do not think it is going to be very comfortable dressing up as them. The best thing I can come up with so far is dressing up as Lyon: Sunlit Prince. I also thought about dressing up as L from Death Note, but that might be a bit too low effort. I have also thought about dressing up as Kamina from Gurren Lagann since he is a bit flashy, but I do not exactly have the best bod to show off right now. Do you guys have any ideas?

If you play casually, being free to play is honestly more than fine. If you want to play semi-competitively, being free to play is fine too, but you will need a bit more planning and patience since you will have limited resources to work with, but it honestly is not that bad. You can technically play competitively and reach the very top tier while being free to play, but you need an iron discipline and be willing to learn on top of planning and patience. I may be pay to play, but I only play semi-competitively. I do not think going competitive is really worth it as I do not want the associated stress even with my budget. She is not really that bulky, and her Weapon is pretty meh even compared to more recent inheritable Weapons. She will die to modern nukes even with inheritance. If you really want to go enemy phase with her, I would go with: Unity Blooms (Any Assist) Ruptured Sky Finish or Stance Tempo or Lull Pulse Smoke or Atk Smoke Quick Riposte

I would just wait. If you really want to transfer the skill to someone right now, then I would pick someone who already got a Refine, but it is a shitty Refine compared to whatever Arcane Weapon they want. For example, while Draug's Stalwart Sword is not dog shit like Effie's Lance, it is not great either when compared to Arcane Éljúđnir. For an even better example, Hinata's Katana is even worse than Effie's Lance, and it is so bad you are better off just sticking with Ruby Sword so he will at least have a relevant niche against greens in Arena Assault or something. Someone like Hinata would definitely appreciate it more than say Ike or Lon'qu.

Hm... Well, it might be an exploit, but it is still an expensive exploit to do. You still have to aim for a 5* exclusive unit either way, whether it is Líf: Arcane Blade or whoever else like Chrom: Fate-Defying Duo for Close Salvo or something. The only situation I can think of to use this exploit is if you are going after a Legendary or Mythic with a rare skill like Thórr for Flow Guard, because RNG can be a real bitch on those Foci. I do not think there are any other scenario, is there?

It just copies the skill from the Rearmed Hero to the recipient, nothing really happens to the Rearmed Hero. The only thing that happens is that particular copy of the Rearmed Hero cannot be used to inherit skills from again.

Mixed zoning is a thing. No one is stopping anyone from owning a residential property in a mixed zone area. Pure residential zoning is a blight that forces people who live in them to own a car, because they cannot walk anywhere to do what they need to do. Sound proofing is a thing. Just because the United States has a lot of land relative to population does NOT mean we should continue to expand our urban sprawl. Urban sprawl needs to be contained. It is faster to build several apartment complexes to house a thousand families than it is to build a thousand separate individual homes to house a thousand families, not to mention all the extra streets and infrastructure needed to cover a wider area. If people want to live in a purely residential area out in the suburbs, they need to pay for their fair share of infrastructure instead of having cities' urban cores and downtowns subsidize them. They deserve to have a sin tax levied on them. Just because infrastructure was laid down does not mean an area cannot be changed. You can narrow streets, add bike lanes, add or remove buildings, loosen zoning laws to allow businesses to set up shop and let buildings be built taller, etc. If most amenities are within walking distance, then you do not need a car. Then those people can get a car. Society should not make their city as if everyone is disabled. The vast majority of people can walk in the freezing snow and under the blazing sun just fine for fifteen minutes.

Residential zones should totally be taxed at much higher rates. Single family zones are the absolute worst and should be treated as a sin tax like tobacco and alcohol, because the people who wants to enforce such a zone are not just reducing housing availability, they are also killing the planet by making cars mandatory to live in such a place. In New York, the wait is literally ten to fifteen minutes for many stops during the day. It does get less frequent at late night, but for vast majority of people who work during the day, the bus system on top of the subway system is more than fine. People got legs, so they do not need public transportation to take them directly to a destination. And Americans are fucking obese, so walking ten to fifteen minutes from the stop to the destination is a good thing. Hell, when I was doing my first internship over there, I did not take public transport at all and I walked 30 minutes to work. People are moving from the Bay Area to Sacramento, and it is clogging our local traffic pretty badly. It was not this bad when I was growing up. With all the extra people, our public transportation could be so much better with a larger tax base, and if even a fraction of that money in private transportation went into public transportation, I probably would not even need to own a car. Yeah, half an hour is not really acceptable in my opinion either. We got rental bikes and rental electric scooters in our downtown area, so it beats driving a car in my opinion as parking is a hassle. Outside of downtown though, you basically need a car to get around, unless you live close by the light rail station and the place you are going to is also close by the light rail station. My friends and I have thought about getting motorcycles, but it is not going to be a pleasant experience riding it for half the year. During the summer nowadays, it can get extremely hot, so being exposed to the searing sun with hot air blowing in your face can be pretty uncomfortable. It can also get pretty rainy during the winter here, so yeah, it is not exactly fun riding while wet. That just leaves spring and fall, and riding for only half the year at best does not seem too practical.

I do not mind Californians moving to Texas, cause that is a good thing. We need to turn Texas blue. While Texas is sort of purple, it still got a lot of work left to do before it can transform from a shit hole Trump state into a modern civilized society. We are coming for you, Texas, and you will turn into a second California whether you like it or not. As for NIMBYs in California, there are a lot of dumb zoning laws that some people want to preserve. In my opinion, residential zoning needs to be eliminated altogther, and if the residents do not want to, then those zones should be taxed at a much higher rate. Like at the very barest minimum, single family zones needs to be exterminated, cause for fuck's sake it is my fucking land, so if I want to build a detached housing unit, I should be fucking able to. Mixed zoning is so much better since you can just walk five or ten minutes to the grocery store literally down the street instead of driving a car across town, and that walking would help with our obesity too. As for public transportation, I do not buy the bullshit that public transportation is unfeasible in America. Owning a car is expensive, as you will need to pay for the aquisition, taxes and insurance and other paperwork, maintaince, gas, etc., and if just half of that money went into our public transportation system, it will be so much better and more reliable, so people will save a shit ton of money. Sacramento's public transit is absolute fucking garbage, and while it is acceptable for people who travel for school and leisure where you have a bit more time on your hands, it is not really acceptable for full time work. The frequency of buses is around a fucking hour, and that is just unacceptable if you are already spending nine hours at work, as the wait time and travel time round trip could mean that you are spending like twelve hours of your day just for work.

Líf: Arcane Blade is basically Líf on a horse, but a bit slower. Arcane Éljúðnir is really good as an inheritable Weapon for slow units, as it got Slaying, Guard, and omnibreaker. Hilda: Helping Hand feels a lot like Hilda: Idle Maiden, except she gives her allies damage reduction instead of follow-up denial. As a combat unit, they are pretty similar too and share damage reduction, with the difference being the former having Slaying and true damage on Special triggers, whereas the latter got true damage on every hit. Velocity is really good though! I would say it is better than Spurn. Shez: Rising Mercenary and Shez: Keen Mercenary (assuming same Weapon effects) is alright with a Meister Weapon that comes with Special charge. Tempo is better than Bulwark in this scenario to make sure Specials get triggered on time. Counter-Vantage could be an option too on some maps when enemies have less bulk. Monica is decent too with Slaying and Desperation.

Depends on how you are using him. If you are using him as a super tank, like in Aether Raids, then you want +Spd/Def. If you are using him specifically against slow bulky tanks, +Atk/Def is better.

I am fine with the amount of effects on Weapons and skills, and I do not see any of them as overpowered. Firesweep is still a thing to shut down 99% of problem units, so I am not concerned.

I do not see them removing the gacha from Heroes, although I am a bit surprised they are doing so for Mario Kart. Mario Kart is no Heroes, but it still generates a sizeable chunk of revenue at second place. I do not see this impacting Heroes much unless Mario Kart somehow does really well after the change, then in that case, maybe they will consider implementing some changes for Heroes too. I will be down for 100 orbs for a Normalized copy, and even more so if they allow us to customize their Assets and Flaws.

Yeah. My coworker told me to take it slow. It just feels hard being there, but not actually with her, if that makes sense. I am not really sure what to do besides just being there for her if she needs someone to talk to. I had what I thought was a big childhood crush, but the intensity of my current crush is like several orders of magnitude greater. If I can compare my childhood crush to climbing Mount Everest, Edelgard feels like going to the edge of time and space on Starship Enterprise. I still play Heroes every day, but it just does not feel the same. I still sort of enjoy it, but it feels so kind of empty and bland. It is like drinking your favorite soda, but the soda got watered down by melted ice. I hope so. I just hate riding this dumb emotional roller coaster, and hopefully it does not dip that low again. I wish she is my waifu, but I am getting way too ahead of myself and that is at least a few years down the line. I have talked with my coworker and her girlfriend, and they shared their experience with me, which is kind of similar to what I am going through right now. It is hard being the chaser, but I just need to give the chasee some time and distance. Despite all the things they went through, it was totally worth it to them, and they told me to be patient with Edelgard and with myself.

Well, the only bright side I can see is that I probably hit rock bottom a few days ago, so there is nowhere left to go but up. Or at least I hope so. I cannot imagine getting any worse. Since I never fell for anyone like this before, maybe Edelgard is the one for me. Or may be it could also be a big ass red flag that she is not for me since it hurts this much. I cannot really tell, so I hoping for the former. I am way too blinded by infatuation at this point to notice any glaring red flags. I saw Thor: Love and Thunder with Edelgard. Starlord telling Thor to go find someone to feel like shit over hits a little too close to home at the time. And the ending was not exactly very encouraging... I think it was a great movie though, just probably not the best movie to watch given my mental state, and that she was right next to me. I did not really put myself out there either. She just showed up one day, I thought she was kind of cute, and I decided to talk to her after she finished her training. My friend found a girlfriend overseas, and I originally plan to do the same next year when I join him and have him introduce me to one. Well, that plan is scrapped now. I guess love comes to you when you least expect it to. Do not worry, I will call 988 if suicide crosses my mind again. It was a one time temporary thought, so I do not think I need professional help right now. I just feel extremely emotionally exhausted and drained.

I wrote a really long ass post a few days ago, but I decided to erase it and not post it since I was in an extremely horrible state of mind. I still feel pretty shitty and I am not thinking completely straight either, but it is a bit more bearable, and I figure some catharsis through writing may help. The short story is that I am suffering from limerence, i.e.: I am crushing extremely hard over a girl right now. I am losing appetite and sleep, I am extremely horny, my hobbies do not excite me, I am depressed, and I constantly think about her nonstop 24/7. Lets call her Edelgard, since I do not want to use real names. I met Edelgard at work, and we went on two dates so far. I think it is pretty obvious that I like her, but I have not verbalized my feelings to make it crystal clear, so I am not sure if she knows that I really like her and see her as more than friends. Everyone at work can see that I am head over heels for this girl too. Edelgard is going through a lot of shit in life right now, and she says is not looking for a relationship at the moment, but she also went on two dates with me, so I am not sure. Maybe she does not see them as dates. That said, all I did at the end of our dates was to hug her goodbye, and I did not even hold her hand during the dates, let alone attempt to kiss her, so maybe I am sending mixed signals too because I am a wuss. Our third date got postponed due to her life being a mess, but we agreed to try out a tango class in the future. Tango is a really sensual and intimate dance, and that is not something you normally do with friends. When I first met her, I just wanted to get to know her. I did NOT plan to fall in love so hard and so fast. Well, for some forsaken reason, my feelings escalated pretty quickly and my heart is drowning in blood and tears. It feels like she ripped my heart out, made a clean hole through it with a shotgun, and dragged it across a minefield filled with barbwires and lava. The first few days of this week was so bad that I felt like crying multiple times at work; it got so bad at one point that I was speeding on the freeway on the way home and I thought about crashing into the wall to end the pain, but thank Naga I did not do it. I have never tried cocaine, but I imagine falling in love with Edelgard is like getting hooked on crack, and I am experiencing withdrawal right now because she did not come to work today. I have a preference for blonde white girls, around my height or taller, with big tits and ass; I basically want a Victoria's Secret super model. Edelgard is Latina with dyed red hair, petite, and have a much more realistic body proportion, and I fucking love her for it. Her voice is so sweet and divine that I get mesmerized to the point of blanking out from time to time; she could probably give me diabetes by saying my name repeatedly. She is so adorably cute when she puts her hair up in braids and/or pony tails, I just want to hug her and never let go. She is drop dead gorgeous when she lets her hair down, I sometimes have to stop myself from popping a boner. Her laugh can temporarily make me forget how shitty I am feeling. Her tears break my heart. I love how deeply she cares for her dad and two little brothers, and it makes me envious. During a coworker's night out, when she took my hand and taught me a little bit of dancing, sparks flew in my heart and I experienced true "Magic is EVERYTHING!!!" for the first time. I generally do not care about dancing very much since it is a chore, but I actually and genuinely want to dance with her, and she is the only one I want to dance with. I think this is a good point to stop because I can keep talking about her for hours and hours until I fall asleep thinking about her. I have talked a lot with my friends and coworkers the past few days, and I feel like the only reason I did not blow my head off or do something stupid is because they took the time to pick my heart back up and put it back inside me. It still fucking hurts like a bitch thinking about her nonstop, but talking with them helps me understand myself and her situation more. I think I am going to keep feeling like shit for a while because I do not want to give up pursuing her. If it gets unbearable again like it did a few days ago, I am thankful that I know I have a support network I can rely on. Just as my friends and coworkers have been there for me, I want to be there for Edelgard.