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Official "Fuck My Life" Thread


Raven
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I'll start.

Tonight, me and a friend went to town for some drinks.

by the end of the night, he was totally plastered, and I was well enough to take care of us, to a point.

We picked up some food - he sat on the benches outside while I got our food.

We walked home - he was wavering all over the place like some pissed fart, as he was. Neither of us ate anything.

We sat at some benches, so I decided enough was enough and called us a taxi because I couldn't take care of him for the rest of the walk home.

We got the taxi, I asked it to drop us off at my friend's address, where I'd walk home from his.

Alas, on the 2 minute taxi journey from these benches to his house, he was sick. £100 contamination charge, on the spot.

Even between us, we didn't have £100 to pay. On top of that my friend had lost his fucking WALLET which had his DEBIT CARD and HOUSE KEYS in - nobody was in his house either, so he couldn't get in.

I told the taxi driver what I had just said on the above line, and he threatened us with the police. Now, considering the University course I am doing, the last thing I want is to be involved with the fucking police.

So I offered the driver to take me back to town in the taxi, where I could go to an ATM and withdraw £100 for that fucking "contamination fee" which he had so intended on having, and he can then be on his way. At the same time, I could find my friend's wallet which he had lost.

On a whim, I decided to check the seats he had sat on when waiting for me to get our food, and alas, his wallet, along with his house key, debit card and change from the night were in, was on the floor underneath the bench he had sat on...

I walked back from town to his house, gave him his wallet - and not even a thanks or any shit like that. I got home, phoned the taxi company and demanded a receipt for the £100 I ended up paying. They delivered it to my doorstep within like 20 minutes.

I will be reminding my friend, once he is sober, that he owes me £100 for his spewage in the taxi. Whether he is willing to pay it or not will be a personal matter between us.

Down £100. Not good for someone who is a university student in which being down by even £20 is a big deal.

Fuck my life.

Your own FML's, please.

Edited by Raven
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This thread was mostly created for me to rage and rant about my own situation. At the same time, it allows others to post their own FML's, not the FML's of others who aren't from SF. It's a good link, but I want it to get a bit more personal than that - down to this forum's individual users and their hardships.

Edited by Raven
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I grew up near a fairly good sized university, which happens to be one of the top party schools in the country, so naturally, I would often go to college parties. One night during our high school spring break (which was on a different date than the college's) me and a few of my friends decided, like we had done before, to cruise around looking for some parties. I volunteered to be the designated driver, because I hadn't been in a while, and I was the best driver in the group. The people in the car were my girlfriend of the time, my best friend, and two friends from out of town who happened to be in the area. We were all underage, with me and the two friends from out of town being 18, and my girlfriend and best friend being 17. We find some sweet parties and have a damn good time, while I kept track of how much I was drinking, and stayed sober, which does not mean teetotaling, just being responsible. At around 2 in the morning, my girlfriend had to get home, so I rounded up my group and told them to come with me for the ride, and then we'd come back to the party for the rest of the night. So everyone in the car is drunk off their balls, but I'm completely fine. We're driving along when I notice that a cop starts following us. Fuck My Life. Everyone in the car panics, but I tell them to calm down because I'm not doing anything wrong. We cruise along and the cop keeps following. Eventually I turn on a smaller road and his lights come on. Fuck My Life. I pull over and he parks behind me. He walks to my window and I roll it down. I ask if anything was wrong, and he said that one of the bulbs over my license plate was out, and he just wanted to let me know. I thank him, but then he takes a few sniffs. Fuck My Life. He says that he smells alcohol in the car, and asks me to get out. Fuck My Life. I walk out and he runs me through the tests, which I pass with flying colors. He then decides to breathalyze me to be certain that I wasn't drunk. I blew a .02. Regardless of the fact that a TicTac will practically give you a .02, that number is the legal limit for people under 21 to have in their system. Fuck My Life. Luckily, the cop thought that I was very respectful, and that I seemed like a good kid. Instead of giving me a DUI, he only gave me an underage possession. I had to complete 50 hours community service, and am going to have to attend some ASAP classes starting this fall.

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I got onto this thread and had to TL;DR my way through all your posts. I realised that SF is made of idiots. Then I realised I'm a member here. FML

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I am a member at a Fire Emblem forum. FML.

I spend spare time reading Fire Emblem growth rates and support conversations. FML

Edited by jordan
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I have spent more time bumping around in the dark grabbing at every little media reference I know that was thrown my way for the 2 years I've been semi-obsessed with forums than I have doing shit that will actually make a me a stronger person, and have nothing better to show for it than some time wasted watching and reading some interesting shit, in exchange for the months I've wasted and the lesser grades I've taken hoping to land a catch of an internet friend I still probably wouldn't, in likelihood, ever meet in person in a setting that I could make anything other than awkward. The most of the time I have to influence my high school transcript is gone, I can't take back what I've put in and I don't even have regular chat app conversations with pretty much anybody I've met here, or anywhere else.

fuck my shit, and fuck this

I am a member at a Fire Emblem forum. FML.

It's true. Run while you can/want to.

Edited by Rehab
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Sorry, guys, but I think I have the best FML of all:

I've been in the United States for six years now, speak English like an American, have been MISTAKEN as an American-born citizen, I have good enough grades that I can get into at least some of the colleges that I want, have a good enough work ethic to actually be able to do well in college...

BUT.

I don't have my fucking green card, I'm a legal alien resident of the United States who can't get a job due to my non-citizenship, can barely get fucking scholarships because I can't get financial aid from the government because I have to be a citizen, can't have my parents pay for college because they are already in debt (plus my mother is the only one who can legally work in our family), and my sister is going to college this fall and her total college costs amount to more than $50,000, and I can't even get my fucking learner's permit for driving because my mother is too stressed out by her own job and my dad's too much of a dick to teach me.

So fuck you all, I win.

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Sorry, guys, but I think I have the best FML of all:

I've been in the United States for six years now, speak English like an American, have been MISTAKEN as an American-born citizen, I have good enough grades that I can get into at least some of the colleges that I want, have a good enough work ethic to actually be able to do well in college...

BUT.

I don't have my fucking green card, I'm a legal alien resident of the United States who can't get a job due to my non-citizenship, can barely get fucking scholarships because I can't get financial aid from the government because I have to be a citizen, can't have my parents pay for college because they are already in debt (plus my mother is the only one who can legally work in our family), and my sister is going to college this fall and her total college costs amount to more than $50,000, and I can't even get my fucking learner's permit for driving because my mother is too stressed out by her own job and my dad's too much of a dick to teach me.

So fuck you all, I win.

I'm pretty sure the DMV requires your Social Security number too. That's why one of my 18-year-old Arabic friends can't get a permit or license.

When can you become a citizen?

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Sorry, guys, but I think I have the best FML of all:

I've been in the United States for six years now, speak English like an American, have been MISTAKEN as an American-born citizen, I have good enough grades that I can get into at least some of the colleges that I want, have a good enough work ethic to actually be able to do well in college...

BUT.

I don't have my fucking green card, I'm a legal alien resident of the United States who can't get a job due to my non-citizenship, can barely get fucking scholarships because I can't get financial aid from the government because I have to be a citizen, can't have my parents pay for college because they are already in debt (plus my mother is the only one who can legally work in our family), and my sister is going to college this fall and her total college costs amount to more than $50,000, and I can't even get my fucking learner's permit for driving because my mother is too stressed out by her own job and my dad's too much of a dick to teach me.

So fuck you all, I win.

Misread, my bad.

As for my experiences:

My father is in jail for a crime my mother committed, the worst part is SHE TRIED TO KILL HIM. That's the law for you, someone tries to kill you, you defend yourself, you go to jail. My mother is a crazy stalker and attempted murderer who is also addicted to drugs. We had to file a restraining order against her a while ago which just went into effect.

Edited by Miss Meow
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I'm a legal alien resident of the United States

I personally don't think it counts if you're the creator of your own problem. Should have went to America legally.

Don't be a cunt.

Edit: Ahhhh, I see, my mistake. I misread.

I'm not from America.

Edited by Miss Meow
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I'm a legal alien resident of the United States

I personally don't think it counts if you're the creator of your own problem. Should have went to America legally.

Don't be a cunt.

Edit: Ahhhh, I see, my mistake. I misread.

I'm not from America.

Not You, the "I personally don't think it counts if you're the creator of your own problem. Should have went to America legally." jerk.

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I'm a legal alien resident of the United States

I personally don't think it counts if you're the creator of your own problem. Should have went to America legally.

Don't be a cunt.

Edit: Ahhhh, I see, my mistake. I misread.

I'm not from America.

Not You, the "I personally don't think it counts if you're the creator of your own problem. Should have went to America legally." jerk.

That was me... -.-

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I'm a legal alien resident of the United States

I personally don't think it counts if you're the creator of your own problem. Should have went to America legally.

Don't be a cunt.

Edit: Ahhhh, I see, my mistake. I misread.

I'm not from America.

Not You, the "I personally don't think it counts if you're the creator of your own problem. Should have went to America legally." jerk.

That was me... -.-

ANYWAY.

I accidentally burned myself teach my nephew that fire is bad.

Fuck my Life.

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Don't be a cunt.

Regardless of circumstances, calling another member a cunt is unacceptable.

People like that asshole make America bad.

Calling them an asshole on top of it just adds to the problems as well.

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Last week, I got an e-mail from a tennis tournament that I just won (Boys 14 singles), saying that there was going to be an exhibition tournament for all the winners of recent tourneys in the state of New Jersey fighting for $2000 prize money. Apparently, I'm forced to play in that for the "Oh, it looks good on your boarding school and college applications" reason... My parents don't expect that I'm going to win the 2k, but if I won my first match, my dad promised me he'd let me take a break from piano for the rest of the summer (which is EPIC.)

My first match is the #2 seed in the state.

I'm 29th.

I've been in Europe and haven't played for the past 2 weeks.

The tournament is monday.

FML. ;_;

Edited by Roxas
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