Let's Play: Thera Total War

[Rewjeo]

Yay for finally winning!

Don't you love when enemy family members flee when you've killed off the rest of their bodyguard? And don't you love how they're ALWAYS the last one in their unit to die? Well, at least in Rome.

[IGdood]

Yeah, damn family members get an additional +5 HP, I think? Officers of a unit get +3.

Totally thrown out the window in Empire and Napoleon Total War (<-- buying this one soon), generals die just as easily.

Not clear how it works in Shogun 2....hero units have more than 1 HP, I believe.

And I turn 20 in 3 hours. I feel so damn old already..

Edited August 5, 2011 by skitarii

[Rewjeo]

That would explain it. Of course, it's always fun watching them get hit by a wall of pila/javelins. That usually does the trick.

I'm fifteen

You're still younger than a lot of people in the FE fandom, let alone other areas. Oh, and (almost) happy birthday!

[IGdood]

Heheh, thanks.

Ack, sorry for the long-time no update!

I upgraded my laptop's hard drive from 320 GB to 750 GB so I can actually install my whole game collection....and then summer school started and I had homework and a midterm and whatnot to deal with.

Anyways, haven't had much time to play.....also had to write scripts for some game mods for Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War.

Enough of my excuses, let's have a short update.

Another fortress fallen. Seems like the Valiente are really challenging to beat. Either that or I'm just being outnumbered.

Hoth is under siege.

Another army makes its way to Izbila. Hopefully I can take it soon. The Valiente are quite valiant in defending their few remaining provinces with their huge pike armies.

For some reason they didn't besiege that tiny fort where remnants of one of my defeated armies had retreated to.

Meanwhile, the Dracule mount an offensive on my besieging forces. Too bad my second army is outside that red ring. They are too far away to come in as reinforcements.

Hey look, they deployed behind me.

We'll just settle for a shield wall for now. Yes, I do see lots of enemies coming in from behind.

A few stray missile units have separated from their main force. They become lunch for my Cataphractii.

Hussars? Fuck hussars.

Vampyres? Fuck you and your gloomy weather. I have silver in my swords.

Masses of heavy cavalry work wonders on non-spear infantry. Not even foot knights can stand up to this.

Meanwhile, Spartan Swords do battle with their spearmen.

And those sword infantry not run over by my cavalry are crushed by my mace-wielding German Knights.

Taking casualties, but I'm focused on ordering the cavalry around. I know my infantry can hold their own. I spy some archers.

Promptly steamrolled.

Spartans are inferior to these Blood Knights. -sigh- The good ol' days where they were warriors of legend seem to be gone.

Surprisingly, I actually didn't lose that many guys. Awesome.

You can thank the cavalry for that.

As a result, Castle Dracule has fallen. Sacked for teh monies.

Alright, this army has arrived at Izbila. We've got our own pikemen, cannons, and elephants. We can't possibly lose this.

FIRE ALL CANNONS!

FFFFUUUUUUUU elephants don't know how to aim! Given the upward incline of the area I deployed in my monster bombards are also rendered rather useless. (They can only fire straight) DAMMIT

Scratch that, retarded elephants blew up my own bombard. I got one more, but it's on the other side.

Alright, let's relocate.

And so battle is joined. PUSH FORWARD!

Unfortunately my other infantry (Retiarii and Auxiliary Legionnaires) are quite outclassed, and losses begin to amount. I've only got one unit of heavy cavalry, and the elephants still can't seem to aim for shit.

C'mon, we can't lose this! KILL THEM!

Lesson to learn: Never use Retiarii. (Samnes would be slightly better) Deploy cannons where the slope is actually good. (it's hard to tell though) Get +5 heavy cavalry when dealing with lots of pikemen.

My elephants are bloodied as pistoleer cavalry ride around and take potshots at them.

Doesn't seem like there are a lot of Valiente, but things look bad.

Annnd Numari horsemen show up and javelin'd my elephants to death.

Why are there so many of them....

I'm forced to bring my general out to fight. He doesn't work too well.

Still, he puts up a decent last stand, refusing to rout until dead.

Meh. Next time, I'll bring two armies instaed of just 1 to Izbila.

I withdrew from this battle, since I really had no intention of getting defeated again. I will gather my numbers.

Edited August 15, 2011 by skitarii

[Rewjeo]

Don't you just LOVE elephants? Enemy has them, screws you over. You have them, screws you over. YEAH ELEPHANTS

[IGdood]

They are... a rather unpredictable factor. XD

Last time I said I would retreat. Well I did, but the army only took a few steps back. So the Valiente pursued and....well.. ...

Put myself on a hill, let's see how long I'll last.

Let's see if I can catapult-snipe some Valiente generals from here.

Nope, but the pikemen get burnt.

That's right. We'll strike as many of you as we can!

Sniped one general. More coming from behind, hopefully I can buy enough time to snipe those too.

The first Valiente force seems to be routing....

Urgh, I killed your general..why don't you run already!?

The other Valiente forces have arrived....Uruk Hai, STALL THEM!

That unit of legionnaires got owned hard.

Despite the armor-piercing abilities of the axemen they were no match for the royal bodyguard.

Holy shit how many royal bodyguards are there!?

Fun for the whole family indeed, they're hitting my men from all sides.

And they managed to catch my captain's unit (they were busy throwing pila around) I know I'll lose him soon, so I have the catapults fire straight into the melee.

Doesn't do much...

Took down another family member as well as my own captain. Defeat ensues, but if I can lose with taking out two future dangerous bodyguard units, it's worth it.

Due to the recent massive amounts of training going on throughout our beloved Romuli Empire the Master Swordsmiths' Guild has offered to set up shop here.

Meanwhile, more cities fall to us.

More armies mobilized. You'll run out of soldiers one of these days, Valiente. In fact, you probably already have! You're drier than my water bottle in the hot Californian sun!

It's time to fight the Avalon. They may have longbows but I've got a ton of JEEEERRMAAANNH KNAAAAIGHTS. (German Knights, I'm making fun of their voiceacting)

Be this the last settlement of the Faustian Reich? Well, let's take out that army in front first.

UNITS, FORWARD!

Taking fire! KEEP MOVING FORWARD!

While my crossbows engage them, my crusader knights pull off the old one-two and CHAWGE!

Holy Mithras, I wish the Valiente were this easy to steamroll. They flee even before my knights make contact with them.

FREE EXP POINTS FOR EVERYONE

After the initial routing there only remained a few Faustian units to wipe out. Including one of their own special bodyguards.

AI reinforcements doing their thing.

Now that's flexibility.

The Faustians have their own special bodyguard. They trade off shields for pistols, and they're pretty good with them.

The retarded AI sent my family member off to battle...he gets shot to death by 37 pistols.

Y U TROLLING ME YOU MUST DIE

REVENGE

Not much to say...just sucks to lose a family member.

Edited August 19, 2011 by skitarii

[IGdood]

Alright, you Dracule bastards. Let's have a go at your fucking OP bodyguards once more.

It's cold, it's so cold...it's a COLDEST WINTEEERRR

I don't have manyr anged units. They have plenty. Looks like we'll just CHARGE

GO GO GO WOOLY MAMMUCS! KILL AS MANY AS YOU CAN BEFORE GOING AMOK

The other group is sent to screw over (well, more like stall) some bodyguards.

Masses of spearmen poke my Mammucs to death, who are then chopped to bits by my Uruk Hai.

Oh shit, a second bodyguard unit has appeared!

Oops, didn't watch my crossbowmen carefully enough.

Caesar's bodyguard, ATTACK!

German knights, TAKE OUT THOSE ARCHERS!

Medici sergeants are promptly raped.

Repeated charging of the Dracule Bodyguard seems to work slightly.

That can't be good.

Enemy spearmen? Bah. My swordsmen will cut you down.

German Knights could actually hurt the Dracule's quite a bit, surprisingly.

Dismounted German Knights also. Must be those armor-piercing maces. Seems that the armor-piercing trait cuts the armor bonus in half, which is great.

That guy's not dead yet? Sheesh.

SURROUND AND KILL! Don't let him flee!

Bah. The only enemies I'm worried about are the bodyguards. Spearmen can go impale themselves on their weapons.

Gotcha.

And one more.

EAT MACE

HIP HIP HURRAH. Well victory isn't here yet, we still have to kill off every last one of the others.

They run to their city square. GIVE CHASE

Catapults? KILL

WE BESTED THEIR BODYGUARDS. WHAT ARE YOU, LOWLY DRACULE SOLDIERS, TO US? WE ARE THE BEST.

Please die.

WHOA where'd these trebuchets come from? Well their crew are dead.

And the city falls to me.

Cities fall throughout the Dracule lands.

As well as a few Valiente ones.

Gone is the Faustian Reich. May you know no peace in death.

[IGdood]

Izbila has finally fallen to us. How many Romulan lives (and mercenary lives) have been lost over this fortress?

The first conquest from Avalon is undefended. Nice name.

Next up, Crecy.

Found a rebel settlement. These still exist?!

Then...I decided to bend the game's rules a little bit. That's put kindly. Put frankly, I entered some cheat codes. No, not the extra money kind or instant building kind. No no, I decided to "create" some Knights of St. John units out of nowhere. In Medieval times they're called the Knights Hospitaller. I realized that....quite a few of these units resemble (both in role and in stats) their descendants in Empire Total War. They'll show up in the LP. If you want to find a RP reason, I'll just say that these remnants of the Pale Order of Holy Knights have been convinced to fight for us. Or perhaps they realize that Mithras and God are the same. And their other Christian brethren who disagree with them are committing HERESY.

Marshall of the Hospitallers --> Household Cavalry - Anon/b/ Knights. Top-tier cavalry, stats identical to bodyguard units except in HP.

Knights Hospitaller - This screams Order Cavalry --> Aesir Riders, Most Noble Order of Spiky Gitz.

Canons of the Holy Sepulcher - Ironcraw's Marksboyz, any guard unit we've named

Dismounted Hospitaller Knights - Another expy of our guard units.

Hospitaller Sergeants - Regular line infantry, except in Thera they're spearmen with a rather high attack.

Hospitaller Crossbowmen - 15th Malta Blackguard, great ranged units with an okay defense and surprising melee attack.

Hospitaller Gunners - New Modesta Guttersnipers. With better melee stats and less range.

Sorry if you don't like cheating, i thought it'd be nice to import a few Knights of St. John units into my army.....as a shout out to my other Let's Play.

[IGdood]

New Shogun 2 Total War campaign announced for DLC, guess what I'll be doing September?

Okay, this is what's gonna happen. I have until September (or whenever the DLC gets unlocked, I preordered it already) to finish this Let's Play. If I don't finish Thera by then, I'll end this one. Sound good? Everybody nodding? OKay, we're settled then.

For kicking the asses of the Dracule at....uh...I forgot what settlement, this guy gets to be adopted into the royal family.

Great. Another sally. Except I'm way out numbered this time.

We have cannons, let's see how you fare against them....ON FLAT LAND....IN DIRECT SIGHT.

Crossbow bolts pierce into Dracule armor, but it seems to be doing little...

A cannonball sends men flying and bodyguards off their horses. Good. For every Dracule bodyguard killed, we probably saved 30 lives.

LOL, the second one rips through that cluster of enemies.

Serbian knights charge at enemy hussars who have strayed outside of that clusterfuck.

Unfortunately monster bombards are extremely slow to reload, and now the enemy are charging them. They never got to fire off a second shot. The bad thing about sallies in Medieval 2 Total War is that you don't get to deploy. You're just thrown straight into the battle.

And again the crossbowmen don't make it in time (they preferred to reload instead of pulling back despite my repeated clicking)

Blood knights charge into my spearmen...and rape them. Horribly. With swords. And pointy helmet horns.

Time to do some charging off my own, dammit.

Getting my ass kicked my large bodyguard sizes (I'm probably fighting an heir, that guy had about 60 bodyguards as opposed to 30)

Damn, how'd I get my knights trapped in that group of spearmen? Well they're goners now..

Crossbows actually work pretty well on bodyguards....3-4 shots later.

Why are they not routing....

Well, tons of archers arrive from enemy reinforcements. Time to butcher them,

As soon as my general is slaughtered, I lose the battle. Damn. Good thing I've got 2 more armies on the way here.

Fuck you, Valiente.

I mentioned I had 2 armies going to Vardar...well I think only one is enough. The other one got sent to Sycorax land (time to kick their asses)

SPARTANS. WE LAND AT AGINCOOOUUURT

Crecy falls without much of a fight. I autoresolve battles that aren't worth my time.

Ah, Sycorax lands. Ripe for conquest.

The Valiente's grip on their lands are slipping...

Ha.

Taking dem Sycorax lands. Rather undefended too, maybe they're too busy fighting the KuKulcan/Paynal Empire.

Well, nevermind, looks like we got a battle on our hands.

Mammucs? Uh oh...

What?! Flaming arrows NOW!

And pila dammit!

Three volleys of flaming arrows later, got this group to run amok. Meanwhile, my infantry are getting shot up by the enemy archers. Shields don't seem to be helping much for some odd reason, or maybe it's just the ronin.

You are no match, savages!

Run amok you fucking mammucs!

Got it, now time to GTFO.

Curse you RNG Goddess, why do you make the mammucs run toward my troops!? Heavy casualties.

Meanwhile, cutting up a bunch of natives beside a lake.

Situation normal: all fucked up?

A huge blob like this is a perfect target for my flaming beehive throwing warriors. KILL EM

She sells seashells by the seashore.

Took out one captain. Doubt it'll help things much though.

To the city square!

FORWARD! CRUSH THIS RABBLE

They're trying to shoot us in the melee...what.

Ran out of beehives? Time to pull out the old-fashioned stone axe then.

Victory, though I am surprised at my losses..

[IGdood]

Vardar has joined the Empire.

Heheheh, and with that, the Dracule are no more. Good riddance to those crazy bodyguards!

And the next to fall are the Valiente. I will personally crush their last troops.

Your halberds do not scare me!

FOR I HAVE MANY ELEPHANTS

And the Knights of St. John.

Ladders up, BUTCHER THEM

Katana in your side, u hurt bro?

After a few minutes of fierce fighting and getting shot at, the gateway falls. PIKEMEN, ADVANCE

Lol pwnt

DIE. DIIE. DIIIIIE

Elephants, FORWARD!

To the last man in the town square!

Hastened by elephant tusks.

Adios, Valiente.

Well now I gotta kill off the Avalon and the Sycorax.

An army from the Norselands has landed...

Weak.

On the actual island of Avalon, I find new mercenaries.

Free Company Longbowmen - Sharpened stakes make them great against cavalry units trying to get them. However overall my Sagitarii Caesaris are better in the melee compared to these guys. I forgot how their missile attack compares though.

That attack is pretty low. Probably useful for screwing over cavalry.

Glyndwr - For such a cool name you guys have shitty everything except for missile attack, which is pretty high.

Cadwyr Spearmen - Not much to say, I suppose they're a cheap counter to most cavalry units but I've got my more heavily-armored triarii....

[Rewjeo]

Yeah Gempei War! Although I'm still confused how it can be called that when there is no stand alone 'm' in Japanese... Anyways, given how much you have done in this, I think it's alright for you to leave it at only having conquered 192374 provinces instead of 929723 provinces.

[IGdood]

Yeah Gempei War! Although I'm still confused how it can be called that when there is no stand alone 'm' in Japanese... Anyways, given how much you have done in this, I think it's alright for you to leave it at only having conquered 192374 provinces instead of 929723 provinces.

Yes. The real Roman Empire didn't get to conquer everything anyways.........unfortunately. I'd like to see how legionnaires survive into the modern day world......although I keep thinking of riot police with their shields and those soldiers in Call of Duty.

Hello, we return after this short loading screen of awesome. Yes, I play Total War in a window.

Annnd Glastonbury of the Kingdom of Avalon is the next to fall.

Avalon's own island fortress falls. Suckers.

And their solo territory in the Gaelic Lands will soon be ours. I don't want to mess around with the Gaelics themselves just yet, though.

The Sycorax is also losing ground to us. Against the mighty Romuli Empire, you may only win battles. But you lose everything else. Ground, men, settlements.

Let's take out that army outside so I don't end up being surrounded in my defensive battles. And deploying in the wrong direction.

How shall English Avalonese longbows and billhooks compare to our mighty legions?

You like rockets? My elephants sendin' more on your way.

How shall farming implements (the billhook) break through our shield wall? Answer: They don't.

Looks like my allies will have some trouble with those knights.

And as usual, they're inept.

Time to shift ends.

Grail Knights? How fare thee thy lance against thou foe pachyderm? I can't speaketh Old Englisheth for feces-eth.

Knights ran away after a few seconds of getting their asses handed to them. But more are on their way.

Even now I still have trouble deciding on my favorite shield shape. The medieval tear-shape or the Roman curved rectangle?

Charge! Crush them as they come!

Harharharhar

Caught a screenshot of a triarii hiding behind his shield while knights hack up his comrades in the background.

Aliens vs. Cowboys, even better: Knights vs. Legionnaires. Does anyone watch the show Deadliest Warrior?

One captain down.

The last few enemies run and my arrow-less horse archers chase them down.

Adopted. Young and showing potential.

Subjugation continues. How the hell do these natives yield so much cash from being sacked? It doesn't seem right....as welcome as it is.

Hey look the garrison at Knudsford is sallying OH WAIT WHY AM I OUTNUMBERED?! Fuck. I didn't expect the other army to have rebelled against me on that turn. You see...armies led by captains have a chance of rebelling....the chance usually skyrockets when your faction leader's authority rating is low...but...I didn't expect this.

Well I'm not feeling very confident. Not with an enemy royal bodyguard on the scene.

Maybe I can ambush them or something.

Or not.

Shit, it's one of those 31 defense bodyguards that the Avalon have. I supposed I can say the same for the Chevaliers when I finally get to going to war with them.

A crash, a rumble, and my forces are all a-tumble.

C'mon, c'mon, kill 'em!

Well there goes my captain.

My JEHMAAAN KNAIGHTS try their best to kill as many enemies as they can.

Not going well.

Disappointment.

[IGdood]

A crusade is called on a rebel settlement I'm besieging. I'm surprised they didn't call one on me.

Annd the Sycorax sally. We shall see who emerges victorious.

Great. Ranged cavalry. Ranged gun cavalry. I only have pitiful javelin-throwing cavalry of my own.

Racking up casualties!

CHARGE! Bad idea? Yeeeaaaah, getting shot whilst charging isn't that great.

And the survivors are easily cut down by axes.

okay...what to do...what to do...

Let's send some legionnaires forward! Wait, why the hell are you routing!? Get back here!

MOTHERFUCKER MAMMUCS

All the while, getting shot by archers. Pain + pain.

I can't solve the problem of ranged cavalry. Maybe they'll go away. As for archers.....DIE UNDER MY ROYAL BODYGUARDS.

Kinda nice to see my bodyguards dropping fast from bullets.

Didn't lose my current commanding general, but I lost one of the family members.

My attempt to have my horse archers join in is a massive fail.

After sometime, probably because they ran out of bullets, the thunder horse braves charge and get owned.

The second army camps in their corner. Let's hope it stays that way.

And so it did stay that way, and I win via time limit.

So many casualties, so little gain.

The settlement falls. To the next!

I lifted the siege of Porth Mernon so its garrison will reinforce that tiny army outside when I attack it. If I can win, then the garrison will be all but wiped out so I can simply waltz in and take the city without any siege.

Silly me, deployed in the wrong direction. Again.

Horse archers, give covering fire!

Incoming royal bodyguard!

My axemen are the first to die horribly.

After that, it was my Rohan Noble's turn to die. Damn their lack of defense.

Well, we'll show them the might of our own bodyguards! Into that horde of spearmen!

The archers join the melee combat as melee troops are getting killed.

Yo, Avalon king, you're one ugly motherfucker.

A battle in the shade.

Damn, they took down my general.

My archers are more than a match for their men-at-arms.

Who's left?! Get those assholes!

My horse archers run out of arrows, so I send them off to kill off enemy archers.

The Rohans go after the enemy bodyguards to stop them from withdrawing and recharging. They're no match for the guards in melee, but they hold them in place, which is all that I ask for.

Now it's just playing the waiting game. Waiting for them to die.

Surprisingly, the gladiators take one for the team.

Got a few more running around, including their king.

Even with archers on the side pouring about 4 arrows per second into this guy it's doing absolutely NOTHING.

[IGdood]

Go down already!

Well he did go down moments later, and another enemy family member has decided to run. I won't let him get away. Horse archers are the fastest units in-game. GIVE ME HIS HEAD.

Taken down.

That was pretty close indeed.

No prisoners. No ransom. BE CRUCIFIED.

Where one family member dies, another is adopted to take his place.

My brilliant plan worked, heheh.

New unit: Gaelic Rabble - Utter trash, utterly useful as cannon fodder.

Let's go for a siege assault on Knutsford.

YEAH

I hope I have enough ammo to blow a hole.

Looks particularly dangerous to clear off a wall.

As my Spartans close the distance arrows begin to rain.

Fire back, dammit!

Glory to the first man to die! SCALE THE WALLS!

Already taking heavy losses.

Things get bad enough (Damn you swordsmen) that it ends up with a lone Spartan in a corner.

Even worse, I ran out of ammo before a single hole in the wall could be made.

A few troops make it to the ground, and they begin to do battle with the ground forces.

Get the hoplites! We're at a severe disadvantage here.

CHARGE WITH DEM CAPES

Ow. Ow. Ow. Boiling oil.

Can't stop us Spartans. I think.

Stop routing, or else I'll send the archers up too!

Ended up sending the beastmen up.

Time is running out, looks like the reinforcements won't make it in time to finish off the Spartan's job.

Argh, next turn.

No fuck you.

Our conquest is unending and unyielding. The Chevaliers should know they'll be next.

The Avalon's death date came later than I had hoped for...

[Rewjeo]

How many armies do you have roaming around at this point?

[IGdood]

How many armies do you have roaming around at this point?

I've lost count, but I'd say at this point I have about 10 armies on active duty (4 at the Royaume de Chevalier area, 4 at the Sycorax Nation, 2 attempting to finish off the Avalon) wreaking havok. I always have replacements coming in from local areas to fill in newly-conquered settlements as well as losses from the legionarii units. As for far-flung areas that produce specialized troops such as the Mancus, Norse troops, Spartans, German Knights, Medici Crossbowmen, I try to keep naval transports available so I can send those units to whereever I need them most.

Alright, let's try to finish off the Avalon for good in a field battle that will involve their last armies.

Almost immediately, the trebuchets sling ordnance at the Avalonian lines.

And they respond in kind with their own trebuchets.

It didn't take too long before their knights...or what little of their knights remained from before, to smash into my lines.

And their infantry.

Note that my spearmen were right behind my sword infantry. When their royal bodyguards struck, I ordered the charge.

AI reinforcements in the form of knights smashed into their trebuchets. Good thinking, for once.

Pah! Mere peasant levy do not scare us!

Seems that spearmen actually CAN kill royal bodyguards. Just not in very fair ratios.

The triarii were ground down, but the bodyguards are getting hurt. The Spartan Swords who got caught in the mess....well they couldn't kill a thing.

I should stop taking screenshots of the spears and focus on the combat elsewhere.

Well, looks like the AI is going to shoot around.

Okay, nevermind. Couldn't see much without highlighting.

It doesn't seem to bode well for my allies. Then again, it never does.

Meanwhile, I pull off some nasty charging into the enemy's rear.

And running around.

It appears I'll have to rely on my remaining soldiers soon. My allies are getting their asses soundly kicked.

And a few of the Avalon units are starting to break.

Keep on SLINGING.

2 worn down units of bodyguards remain, and I think I have enough spears to pull it off.

Ah, more knights.

Things seem to look alright. Just gotta keep my captain nearby to keep my soldiers from having second thoughts on running away.

And also doing the duty of clearing off archers from the field, since only cavalry are fast enough to catch up.

STOP ROUTING YOU FOOLS.

My trebuchets run out of ammo, so I send the crew into the melee. Yup.

That's one of the enemy royals. KILL. He died in a moment.

Last enemy force remaining.

STOP RUNNING AWAY ASSHOLE

CAPTAIN. TAKE HIM DOWN. NOW.

That's my captain on the lower left.

"FUCK YOU I WILL SEVER YOUR SPINE SO HARD AND DRIVE YOU INTO THE GROUND THAT WHEN I PULL MY SWORD BACK OUT I WILL BE THE NEXT KING OF AVALON"

And amazingly, the captain did keep true to his word and stabbed the last Avalon royal in the spine.

Indeed, it's always a close victory whenever more than 1 bodyguard unit shows their face on the battlefield.

NO MERCY.

And the man of the hour, Severer of Spines, Captain Cerberus is adopted into my royal family.

Dammit.

Oh. No wonder my allies routed. Their general had died on the battlefield.

One kingdom down. Next up, the French. Err, I mean, the Chevaliers.

I literally just walked into this undefended fortress. Wtf?

Next turn, Knutsford is ours.

This might be ugly, but I'm sure I have enough forces gathered in the locality to beat 'em all.

[IGdood]

Settlements continue to fall to the might of the Romuli Empire.

Ignoring the crusading army right behind me, it's time to face off against the sallying defenders of Binaye.

Already I'm being shot and I haven't gotten into position yet.

What a strange mix of enemies. Then again, considering what some of my armies are made of, it's not that strange.

Foolish braves, why don't you stick to your guns instead of charging me?

Meanwhile, burning beehives nuke the rest of the defenders.

What a huge clump at the gate. URUK HAI, KILL THEM.

Native units, charge with the Uruk Hai. (They're replaceable. The others aren't.)

See you in hell.

U mad? Well, COME AT ME BRO!

Alright, time to hit the Chevaliers.

How pessimistic. Why not say "You are bringing in reinforcements" too!?

Crossbows, OPEN FIRE ON THEIR KNIGHTS!

Armor-piercing bolts work wonders.

SUCKERS

Incoming detachment of trebuchets to our right. Sending in cavalry and two units of infantry to take it out.

Pathetic.

Your forces are no match for mine!

CHARGE, RETREAT, CHARGE....

Ow ow ow ow 0_x

Yes, we're pretty much charging each other's infantry with knights and seeing who routs first.

They lose. Oh yeah, elsewhere on the battlefield my allies are duking it out with the enemy.

NOT EVEN YOUR PIKEMEN WILL STOP ME

Push forward. There's a lot of Chevaliers to kill.

Enemy reinforcements eh?

Took out one enemy captain, it seems.

Getting a bit crowded huh?

Tch. They're all just militia. GET 'EM!

MARCH ONWARDS!

Cut 'em all down.

Everyone's killed quite a share.

Lonnng list.

Still a few more Chevalier armies to take care of....

Quite a foggy day...

Archers, FIRE! Note that this current army was one of the reinforcing armies in the previous battle.

Edited September 2, 2011 by skitarii

[IGdood]

COME AT US YOU BASTARDS! EAT ARROWS!

Oh. Oh shit.

SHIELD FUCKING WALL

SIR THIS REAR ATTACK IS DOING NOTHING

Our cavalry were quickly overwhelmed. I soon learned why Chevalier knights were the best in Thera.

However, their infantry suck balls.

As my cavalry were wiped out reinforcements streamed in from afar.

The shield wall is strong. Keep holding!

INCOMING!

That's quite a horde you got there.

Wait why are you routing!?

I really need to take those guys out, otherwise they'll keep sniping away at my infantry.

I look so outnumbered.

Yet through courage and Romulan steel, we win.

Ah, of course I'll adopt you into the family.

Sycorax losing their grip.

For every enemy that falls, a new one takes its place. We're at war with the Paynal Empire now.

Well, I've got new arrivals from everywhere eager to whet their appetite for battle. Let's go!

You haven't seen many battles with the low-tier Romulan troops. Well here we are.

My my, the Aztecs sure are a colorful bunch. I play them too in Age of Empires 3 when I'm not playing as China.

Savages.

YOUR PUNY JAVELINS CANNOT HURT ME, SAVAGE!

GO GLADIATORS

How fare the jaguars against my Uruk?

Meanwhile, the archers shoot at enemies who aren't stuck in with my battle line.

Routing already? Then again, they did inflict pretty heavy casualties on me.

POSEIDON LOOK AT ME. I HAVE FURY!

With their captain dead they have no more hope of winning.

Quite a few men of the hour lately.

Well, that's another nation gone. Next up: Sycorax and the Paynal.

[Rewjeo]

Why do Paynal Arrow Warriors throw javelins? That doesn't make sense. I guess there was also that unit somewhere back in this topic named somethingsomething Heavy Infantry but it was a Light Infantry unit. Strange.

[IGdood]

Why do Paynal Arrow Warriors throw javelins? That doesn't make sense. I guess there was also that unit somewhere back in this topic named somethingsomething Heavy Infantry but it was a Light Infantry unit. Strange.

Because based on Aztec history their "javelin" troops were known as "Arrow Warriors". In reality they had a tool that they used to launch javelin-sized arrows a distance that was farther than the throwing distance of a regular javelin. Yup.

[Rewjeo]

Because based on Aztec history their "javelin" troops were known as "Arrow Warriors". In reality they had a tool that they used to launch javelin-sized arrows a distance that was farther than the throwing distance of a regular javelin. Yup.

Ah, yes, the... atlatl? I think that's it. So who in real life decided to call them Arrow Warriors?

[IGdood]

Ah, yes, the... atlatl? I think that's it. So who in real life decided to call them Arrow Warriors?

No idea, maybe it was a translation or something.

Seems like Rise of the Samurai hasn't been released yet.

Tenochtitlan WILL FALL, dammit!

We are surrounded on all sides. That makes our job easier.

Since I have so many cavalry units....it's time to charge. Repeatedly. Taking turns smashing into the Paynal troops.

Not even Aztlans are immune to cavalry charges.

Incoming Aztec forces from the other side. Funny thing is that my massed cavalry charges are working wonders and I haven't even ordered my infantry to move yet.

Screw your fancy headresses. I've got you on my lance.

Well that didn't take long. Surprisingly.

Shield wall will hold this rabble back. COME AT ME BRO!

Now charging into their second force.

Say hi to the camera.

Is that all you got?

One last force remains in the corner. Time to crush them.

Their captain falls quite easily.

Ahahaha, only lost so little men.

The cavalry really massacred them.

Such a magnificent city...now in our hands.

Elsewhere, our Kukulcan allies have decided to ward off some Paynal armies for us. Except, why am I joining in?

These are NOT my forces.

These are my legions.

Nothing to do really, aside frm watching my allies beat on the Paynal.

Except I didn't realize my men were still marching in when I saw a group of pissed off Aztlan Warriors charging right into my archers.

And my Bodaway Warriors.

Argh, my poor archers.

Well, it's a win.

Yeah, the Paynal only have 3 regions remaining. And this one is their strongest one....maybe I can pull off a win here?

All units, CHARGE FORWARD AS THEY ENTER THE BATTLEFIELD.

What the fuck?! Routing already? Shit, I wish I brought more Praetoriani. Stupid auxiliaries...unworthy to be Romuli citizens.

Quit your non-Mithras chanting and fight us!

Their second army is closing in....

Closing in very fast. Maybe I can stall them with cavalry.

As the rear of my forces are attacked, the lesser troops panic and flee. Only the Praetoriani remain, unfazed.

Not sure if taking out one captain will help now...but oh well.

Not good. Noooooooo....!

Never give up! NEVER GIVE UP!

Okay maybe we'll just uh...withdraw?

Still, they paid a heavy price of blood. -sigh- Auxilia are useless....

Okay, now is the first time I get to control the daemonic Mahisha in combat. Or was it the second?

WE SOAR ON WINGS OF DARKNESS

Sending in my native meatshields.

RIP THESE GIANTS APART

[IGdood]

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD. SKULLS FOR THE VICTORY SHRINE.

BURN, FURRIES

A last few warriors try to survive. Nope.

Quick and bloody.

A turn later I'm suddenly greeted with this message. Eh? Sycorax are allies with the Kukulcan?

No bitch, I have your city.

Got a message that I found the Holy Grail.

Another Paynal city falls to starvation.

"So uh....this is awkward. What do we do?"

"Iunno, sit on our asses until someone declares war."

Oops, Paynal are gone.

Hey look I think I found the Inquisition stronghold.

HMMMM.

Where one enemy falls, a new one will show its ugly face. THE GAELIC NATIONS HAVE ATTACKED

The Paynal left behind a rebel region. Time to assault it because I can.

I got rams.

I didn't realize you were smart enough to use a ladder.

Archers quickly slaughtered on the walls.

GATES OPEN. PIKEMEN, FORWARD!

Pwnt.

Now....all available troops, please board the nearest naval transport and make your way to the Gaelic nations. There will be blood. There will NOT be Mel Gibson.

Edited September 3, 2011 by skitarii

[Rewjeo]

So, the Holy Grail improves your general's piety? Even though you worship Mithras?

What are Mahisha from? Edit: Wait, I think Mahisha is a Hindu Buffalo Demon. That's the best thing I could find with a quick Google search.

Edited September 3, 2011 by Rewjeo

[IGdood]

So, the Holy Grail improves your general's piety? Even though you worship Mithras?

What are Mahisha from? Edit: Wait, I think Mahisha is a Hindu Buffalo Demon. That's the best thing I could find with a quick Google search.

I suppose he himself would've thought it was Mithras' Goblet of Awesome Healing Powerz 1111!!oneoneone!!!!! , but who knows. xD

And the first battle with the Gaelics is a siege defense at Gul Kaata. They may have numbers, but we've got SHIELD WALL.

I wonder if I'll be a surgeon 10 years from now.

I'm not going to bother with the walls. Let them try and take us on at the city square!

Seems like we've got lots of fellows sticking out like sore green thumbs and their Tushkan mercenary ilk.....then again I've got Tushkan fighting for me too.

Didn't take long for their ram to break through my gates. Now let courage and valor be our walls!

Archers fire some arrows at me from afar, doing minimal damage.

TOSS ALL JAVELINS!

Huh, why aren't you shooting me? Why are you charging us?

So that's what Gaelic royal bodyguards look like. Their stats are pitiful compared to the Caesar's Bodyguard, who in turn have pitiful stats compared to the Avalon/Dracule bodyguards.

Send in some sword fodder. maybe they'll tire out the enemy or something.

Took out their general.

And with that, a mass rout occurs.

So I send forth all my cavalry, and have them hack up as many fleeing Gaelics as they can.

The second siege assault force is on its way....

Returning to the city square, let us quietly observe the death and destruction left in their wake.

The men are exhausted, and the desert heat isn't helping them recover stamina.

Some enemies rout upon entering the square.

I get cocky and give chase with my Tushkan Swordsmen, hopefully they can force a chain rout on the other enemies.

It doesn't happen, and they get stuck street-fighting.

Except the Gaelics ignore them and just try to march through them. They're overwhelmed, and I order them to retreat. Many die in the process.

Now we grind it out at the square...

They finally break after a few more minutes of hard fighting....before the time limit. CUT THEM DOWN.

The Asian army arrives to besiege Gul Lanna.

Uh sure why not...I can use the money....

Surprise!

Got about 10 full-stack armies heading to this place.

Boom, boom, sack.

They put up some feeble resistance. Well actually that's not very feeble.... I withdraw since I don't feel like I'm in a favorable position.

But they attack again so it's time to FIGHT.

They've got plenty of ranged units....mostly kerns (javelin-users). I've got JEHMAAAN KNAIGHTS. You do the math.

Whilst my legionnaires take javelins and try to throw back, my knights hit the enemy.

Wouldn't it be great if cavaliers/paladins sent enemies flying in FE?

Unfortunately a shower of bullets and javelins breaks my charge, and I retreat my knights.

After their numbers were whittled down a bit more I order one final charge to break them.

Another adoption? Sheesh, i should start declining these decisions before my family line is utterly diluted.