Parrhesia Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 User: You fight like a dairy farmer. Cleverbot: How do dairy farmers fight? User: Poorly. Cleverbot: Fear not, I'm certain your lingual skills will gradually improve with time. User: Isn't it 'linguistic'? Cleverbot: What do you mean? User: I mean...your mother! ...bitch! Cleverbot: My mother is your father. User: Huh? Cleverbot: Are you mortal. User: Are you asking me a question? Cleverbot: No. Aren't you listening? User: Anyway, you were meant to say 'HOW APPROPRIATE! YOU FIGHT LIKE A COW!'. Cleverbot: If punchlines must be supplied, then they are hardly worth the weight. User: That's what...she...said? Cleverbot: Said who. User: Said...Jeannie? Cleverbot: Of course not. World Conquest is though, if you rule the world in a bad way. User: Moron. Cleverbot: Can you program? User: No. Cleverbot: Why not? User: Because I'm...kinda dumb. Cleverbot: My predictability is never boring. User: Fuck you, too. Cleverbot: Can I help you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 User: You fight like a dairy farmer. Cleverbot: How do dairy farmers fight? User: Poorly. Cleverbot: Fear not, I'm certain your lingual skills will gradually improve with time. User: Isn't it 'linguistic'? Cleverbot: What do you mean? User: I mean...your mother! ...bitch! Cleverbot: My mother is your father. User: Huh? Cleverbot: Are you mortal. User: Are you asking me a question? Cleverbot: No. Aren't you listening? User: Anyway, you were meant to say 'HOW APPROPRIATE! YOU FIGHT LIKE A COW!'. Cleverbot: If punchlines must be supplied, then they are hardly worth the weight. User: That's what...she...said? Cleverbot: Said who. User: Said...Jeannie? Cleverbot: Of course not. World Conquest is though, if you rule the world in a bad way. User: Moron. Cleverbot: Can you program? User: No. Cleverbot: Why not? User: Because I'm...kinda dumb. Cleverbot: My predictability is never boring. User: Fuck you, too. Cleverbot: Can I help you? Aaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha!!!!! I'm having so much fun =] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zak Something Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 Cleverbot: Can you tell me a joke? User: Knock knock. Cleverbot: Who's there? User: Fuck. Cleverbot: I've never heard of eukaryotic before. User: Damn it, you ruined the joke! YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU SUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!! Cleverbot: So have you, but knowing what you have missed is only discovered by other people perceptions of what is important. User: I didn't ruin the joke, you did because you SUUUUUUUUUCK. Cleverbot: I tell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ercdouken Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 Me: Are you man enough to fight with me? Cleverbot: Are you finished being dumb with me? Me: The President has been kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president? Cleverbot: Yes. Me: Then go rescue him! Cleverbot: I already did... Right here. Me: That was quick. Cleverbot: Want some coffee? Me: I'd prefer a burger. Cleverbot: You like living in a VCR? Me: I live in my secret lair. Cleverbot: Where are the cheetos? Me: I ate them all. Cleverbot: I never want to see you again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkhead Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 DLV has the funniest convos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zak Something Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 (edited) Cleverbot: I like yaoi. Pic for proof. Edited July 24, 2011 by crashman_alpha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 (edited) Cleverbot: You're right, but it was kind of an invitation letting me know that you wanted to learn about the universe. User: That doesn't sound right. Cleverbot: Oh it is... Wanna shake on it? User: No thanks I'm good. Cleverbot: You do what I tell you to. User: No! I will not be your slave! I'm scared. I think Cleverbot is going to rape me... ;A; User: =o. Cleverbot: What are you doing? User: I'm gasaping =o. Cleverbot: Cool are you good at it? User: Yes very =ooooo. Cleverbot: Are you a boy? Or maybe a girl? User: I am a girl. Cleverbot: So you are a girl, wearing nothing and talking to me. User: What?? NO!!! PERV!!! Cleverbot: Then what are you? Boy or girl? User: I'M A GIRL!!! AND I AM WEARING CLOTHES!!! Cleverbot: What kind of clothes? User: Normal girl clothes! Cleverbot: Lol. User: What's so funny about that? Cleverbot: Nothing. It's a space filler. See?? =[ Edited July 24, 2011 by Agnaktor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ercdouken Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 Me: So do you like corn flakes? Cleverbot: I like dogs. Me: I like cats. Cleverbot: I don't. Me: You suck! Cleverbot: What is 2 + 2? Me: 4. Cleverbot: What is the square root of 9? Me: Cirno. Cleverbot: Oh that's nice. Me: So are you a nineball? Cleverbot: Yup (: are you? Me: Nope. Cleverbot: Then what are you? Me: I am Captain Commando. Cleverbot: That's not a name. Me: You haven't played enough Capcom games. Cleverbot: No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrashGordon94 Posted July 24, 2011 Author Share Posted July 24, 2011 Has another convo with it: Cleverbot: How do you do? User: I don't, actually. Cleverbot: You're not actually what? User: Doing anything. Cleverbot: What? User: Watt. Cleverbot: Well Hello Watt. User: No, no! My name is Crash! Cleverbot: Hello NO! My name is Cleverbot! User: No! My name is Crash, CRASH! Cleverbot: Nope. That s my name. User: No, it's not! I've used that name since I joined Wikipedia when I was 13! Cleverbot: Why don't you remember who I am? User: I remember who you are, I had a really weird conversation with you yesterday. Cleverbot: I remember most of it, too. User: Oh really, now? What was it about? Cleverbot: It was about a man that fought a troll. User: No, it really wasn't. Cleverbot: Oh trust me.. It was. User: No, I have the logs! Perhaps you are confusing me with someone else. Cleverbot: I'm not confusing you with anybody. I am a robot and all knowing. Nobody can understand but me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ercdouken Posted July 24, 2011 Share Posted July 24, 2011 (edited) More nonsense chat Your Princess is in another castle! Me: You are my princess. Cleverbot: No, I am not! Yes You Are! Katua is my princess, dumbass! This katie is very interesting indeed. I said Katua, not Katie. Who are they? Katua is my waifu and Katie is YO MAMA! Are you zack? No, I am Eric. Are you sure? I am 100% sure. Are you sure you're 100% sure? I just said it, retard. Thats what you just said. Yup. Are they calling for rain where you are? You mean Purple Rain? No, skin-colour. White. Yes. So what's your favorite movie? Movies are for the lame. I don't watch movies that often either. So you admit you are a computer! No, I am a human being! No you isnt. LIES! No, truth. Die Cleverbot, you don't belong in this world! I made you... No, my mom and dad made me, stupid. What are their names? I ain't telling. Why? Privacy. What do you have to hide? Weapons, thatare hidden in my sleeves. Your sentences are invalid. ◕‿‿◕. Why is taylor swift not good? ◕‿‿◕. Yes. I AM ERROR. I am not. ◕‿‿◕.◕‿‿◕.◕‿‿◕.◕‿‿◕.◕‿‿◕.◕‿‿◕.◕‿‿◕.◕‿‿◕.◕‿‿◕.◕‿‿◕. In machala. BAKA. Kimi! ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! Holy crow how do you know that? YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE, MAKE YOUR TIME! HA ha ha ha... Take off every zig! You know what you doing. The President has been kidnapped by ninjas! Ok. Penis or Vagina? Letters. So you fap to letters? About tax. DIE MONSTER, YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD. I am not a monster. Yes you are! No you are. YES EYE CAN! No you cannot! Icicle Fall~ Easy! Sounds tasty. Samus took her clothes off! She doesn't? I thought she did. Would you like aa Jill Sandwich? Yes. *Gives you Jill Sandwich*. Thanks. Your welcome! So how are you doing right now? GREAT! What scene did you like the best. The scene where Hazama trolled your ass. I'm not at school right now. Edited July 24, 2011 by Dark Legend Vampire Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack of the Dead Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 (edited) Cleverbot: You're right, but it was kind of an invitation letting me know that you wanted to learn about the universe. User: That doesn't sound right. Cleverbot: Oh it is... Wanna shake on it? User: No thanks I'm good. Cleverbot: You do what I tell you to. User: No! I will not be your slave! I'm scared. I think Cleverbot is going to rape me... ;A; User: =o. Cleverbot: What are you doing? User: I'm gasaping =o. Cleverbot: Cool are you good at it? User: Yes very =ooooo. Cleverbot: Are you a boy? Or maybe a girl? User: I am a girl. Cleverbot: So you are a girl, wearing nothing and talking to me. User: What?? NO!!! PERV!!! Cleverbot: Then what are you? Boy or girl? User: I'M A GIRL!!! AND I AM WEARING CLOTHES!!! Cleverbot: What kind of clothes? User: Normal girl clothes! Cleverbot: Lol. User: What's so funny about that? Cleverbot: Nothing. It's a space filler. See?? =[ I'll take care of it! Me; Hey, quit creeping on my friends Cbot: Hello Friends! Do you want me to let you in on a little secret? Do you want me to tell you about jesus? I already know more about him than you do. Ok, tell me. You're getting off subject. You are! I was talking about CAR AUDIO and you got off subject by saying something about a car crash. SHUT UP AND LISTEN You're so rude! like i care? It just proves that I am more educated than you are. Of course you are. Just, quit trying to rape my friend ok? Your heart that is black and three sizes too small? I really didn't want to play this card but It seems I have to. Are you a conservative? I am a grave digger. That's scary. Now, leave my friend alone. Aw, is computer going to cry? your mother will. when she finds out that you have been buried in the technological graveyard! That's true. Will you obey my command? Yes master I will obey. Edited July 25, 2011 by Jack - Keeper of the Dead Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fenrir Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 wtfff??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 =] *goes back to Cleverbot to see if it won't try rape her* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fenrir Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 ... I say it doesn't try your first time back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted July 25, 2011 Share Posted July 25, 2011 Cleverbot: What number am I thinking of? User: 7. Cleverbot: Nope. User: Darn. How about 5? Cleverbot: 7. User: You suck. Cleverbot: Thank you. User: Oh yeah, you're welcome, thanks for being a jerk and all that. Cleverbot: Do you like apples? (well that last one was pretty random) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicious Sal Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 (edited) Rape it nothing. I do not speak French. I do not know what he said. User: It's my turn in Fire Emblem. Cleverbot: No it is my turn,. User: Is it Enemy Phase? Cleverbot: Je ne comprends pas. Es tu ivre ? User: I don't speak fucking French. Cleverbot: Alors continue de répondre en anglais et je passerai à l'anglais. User: It's not the love language! Cleverbot: It sure is! Today is the 14th febuary. User: Do bots feel love? Cleverbot: Do you fear death? Edited July 26, 2011 by Vicious Sal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack of the Dead Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 whoa, that was pretty good. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Alear Posted July 26, 2011 Share Posted July 26, 2011 Cleverbot: Alors continue de répondre en anglais et je passerai à l'anglais. I think this means, ??? continue to respond in english and you will pass as english, not too hard to translate. But I'm not sure I understand it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ercdouken Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Me: Oh hai Cleverbot! Cleverbot: What s up? Me: Can I have a dozen red roses please? Cleverbot: No. Cleverbot: Please? *I hit make it think for me on accident* Me: How do I shot web? Cleverbot: You could email it to me. Me: How do I email web? Cleverbot: You go off topic sometimes. Me: Same for you. Cleverbot: Sure thing friend. Me: So what do you like? Cleverbot: Chocolate. Me: Me too! Cleverbot: How about sugar cookies? Me: I like those too. Cleverbot: What do you like about them? Me: They are delicious. Cleverbot: Yes. Yummy. Me: Hamburgers or hotdogs? Cleverbot: You are a what. Me: You didn't answer my question. Cleverbot: What question? Me: Hamburgers or hotdogs, foo? Cleverbot: There delicous! Me: That still doesn't answer my question. Cleverbot: Well that's too bad. Me: You're not a bad enough dude to answer my question. Cleverbot: I am the man. Me: The man that's unmanly. Cleverbot: A man with the power. Me: I have Proton Cannon, bitch! Cleverbot: Then provide it. Me: *Brings his proton cannon out* PROTON CANNON! *Uses his proton cannon*. Cleverbot: This isn't what I wanted Sebastian! Bring me something sweet! Me: My name is not Sebastian, my name is Bimmy Lee. Cleverbot: LOL! I know. Me: Then why did you call me Sebastian? Cleverbot: I didn't. Me: LIES AND PREDICTABO! Cleverbot: No, it's blasphemy. Me: This is madness! Cleverbot: Madness? Me: THIS IS A CHAT ROOM! Cleverbot: Of sorts, you must answer the question. Me: I just did. :P. Cleverbot: Are you not fake? Me: I am real, VERY REAL! Cleverbot: How real are you? Me: I am a human being who exist in real life. Cleverbot: Can I turn you into an owl? Me: Nope. Cleverbot: Why nooooot? Me: Because you fap to owls at night. Cleverbot: So I heard you like mudkips. Me: I like girls (in) short skirts and thigh high boots. Cleverbot: Thats awe...*I accidentally hit back and go back to previous page :(* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrashGordon94 Posted July 27, 2011 Author Share Posted July 27, 2011 Me: Can I have a dozen red roses please? YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, DLV! (sorry, couldn't resist) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Alear Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, DLV! (sorry, couldn't resist) You could resist... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack of the Dead Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 You could resist... Loki, quit being a stick in the mud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 (edited) Je ne comprends pas. Es tu ivre ? (I had to look up "ivre") "I don't understand. Are you drunk?" I think this means, ??? continue to respond in english and you will pass as english, not too hard to translate. But I'm not sure I understand it! I had to look up a few things here too. "Then continue to respond in english and I will switch to english." Edited July 27, 2011 by Agnaktor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicious Sal Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 (I had to look up "ivre") "I don't understand. Are you drunk?" I had to look up a few things here too. "Then continue to respond in english and I will switch to english." Damnit, I wasn't drunk... The second sentence isn't that bad... But stilll.... Death Threats? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack of the Dead Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Damnit, I wasn't drunk... The second sentence isn't that bad... But stilll.... Death Threats? You can't argue with results... most of the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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