fatgamecat Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Great work on the translation. I might even give the game another playthrough to read the conversations. I only know enough Japanese to read the menus and katakana and such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 I realise we've been kind of quiet about the translation lately. There's a good reason for that... maybe? I think it's something to do with this fictional entity known as "a life"? But, in all seriousness, here's some new progress. Now TheEnd can't run away from his job since everybody knows he's helping us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FionordeQuester Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Cool. Hey Vincent, out of curiosity, what do you think of my rewrite of the Malicia and Chris conversation? Just, compared to the others? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted September 26, 2011 Author Share Posted September 26, 2011 (edited) I'm not exactly the best writer or reader ever, but it seemed good to me. Definitely better than what I could write. Since I'm here, there were a few things bugging me very slightly. Malicia: Sir...sir? Hi, you wouldn't happen to be one of Lord Marth's guards would you? I'd probably skip the "...sir?" at the beginning. It makes Malicia sound a bit shy, when she's probably a bit more open. Chris: Uh, it's...brown actually... I think it's a good idea to talk about the horse colour, but it might give fans the wrong idea, as it sounds like Marth has a horse. Now, I wouldn't be surprised if he did ride one, but I can't think of any existing line in the game(s) that mentions this, so I'd probably play it safely. because when I think of what our night under the starry sky will be like...hee, hee, it will be great! "It will be great" doesn't seem to have the impact that I'd imagine. Not that I know of a better substitute. Another idea I had was to simply remove it and leave her thoughts implied. Lord Marth will gently stroke his hands across my cheeks, undo the clasp around my hair, and whisper into my ear "you're more dazzling than any star"... Then he'll slowly wrap his arms around my waist and... Eeek! Might just be me, but I think the undoing the clasp is a little overdoing it and it makes the line a bit longer than I'd appreciate, reducing the impact of the implied kiss (or physical contact). An interesting idea though. Chris: You know, Marth's kind of already engaged right now, so...hey! Are you... I'd add "list-" or "listen-" at the very end, just to emphasise that he's wondering if she's listening. Otherwise the line is a bit ambiguous. I might be nitpicking slightly here though, as I'm sure some people use this kind of line. Edited September 26, 2011 by VincentASM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheEnd Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Now TheEnd can't run away from his job since everybody knows he's helping us. Damn you, Vincent!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FionordeQuester Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 (edited) Alright, thanks for the commentary Vincent! Any comments are always, always appreciated, positive or negative. I'd probably skip the "...sir?" at the beginning. It makes Malicia sound a bit shy, when she's probably a bit more open. You're probably right. I added that in because the way I envisioned the scene, Chris was walking along with his back to her, and she was running up to him as he requested his attention. So, she said it twice to make sure she had his attention. However, since that's what I was going for, I made a mistake in adding the ellipses there. I think it's a good idea to talk about the horse colour, but it might give fans the wrong idea, as it sounds like Marth has a horse. Now, I wouldn't be surprised if he did ride one, but I can't think of any existing line in the game(s) that mentions this, so I'd probably play it safely. I could probably think of something else, although I just think it's sort of an awkward mental image to think of Marth running around on foot as the rest of his soldiers are charging past him on horses, and trying to fight guys like Camus without a horse. I'm not sure even Genghis Kahn could manage that, although, maybe he could. I dunno. I also sort of had Blazing Sword on the brain, when Lowen was talking to Rebecca. Thought it would be a nice callback to that game. "It will be great" doesn't seem to have the impact that I'd imagine. Not that I know of a better substitute. Another idea I had was to simply remove it and leave her thoughts implied. Maybe. Or, maybe she could ask Chris "won't it be just magical" or something like that. Actually, you know what, I just had a thought, about how I could fix both this and this... Might just be me, but I think the undoing the clasp is a little overdoing it and it makes the line a bit longer than I'd appreciate, reducing the impact of the implied kiss (or physical contact). An interesting idea though. I'll bet I can think of something! I'd add "list-" or "listen-" at the very end, just to emphasise that he's wondering if she's listening. Otherwise the line is a bit ambiguous. I might be nitpicking slightly here though, as I'm sure some people use this kind of line. Hm, alright. I actually originally had him add "listening" at the end, but I was worried about text limitations, as I wasn't sure how much dialouge you guys can fit into a textbox. But, it seems that you guys can add that (if you so wish) so... EDIT: Anyways, I just edited it. Edited September 26, 2011 by FionordeQuester Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rewjeo Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 I know you said those aren't the final versions of the text, but I still have a couple comments. With Bantu's line, "pickled with salt and other ingredients" sounds strange to me. Unless the salt becomes particularly important later on in the conversation, I'd say something like "pickled with various ingredients." If you really want the salt line, maybe "various ingredients, like salt" or something along those lines. With Darros's line, the only apostrophe that seems to actually be doing anything is in "got'emselves." The rest aren't changing the pronunciation at all, or at least not in my mind. Also, I would say put a space between "got" and "'emselves" myself, but that's rather nitpicky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celice Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 The salt is a driving concentration device. It seems fine to me and not really uncanny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momo Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 I realise we've been kind of quiet about the translation lately. There's a good reason for that... maybe? I think it's something to do with this fictional entity known as "a life"? God, again with your clunky localizations. What is that even supposed to be? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rewjeo Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 The salt is a driving concentration device. It seems fine to me and not really uncanny Not being an expert on terms for things, is that a literary device? Or is that a device in the act of pickling vegetables? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Awesomest Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Salt is one of the main ingredients for pickling vegetables, yes. The other ingredients are not as prominent as salt is. I think the line is fine as is. Also, apostrophes are not meant to change pronunciation. They simply mark where letters have been taken out, i.e. cannot -> can't, fishing -> fishin', and -> 'n' and caught in -> caught'n. Usually that's enough to change pronunciation, but not always. Also, I agree with you on the space. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rewjeo Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 But what's the point of taking out letters if it doesn't affect how it is said? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grandjackal Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 *Reads the translated small clipits of base conversation* Really...Darros...Cooking fishes you caught while AT SEA as a grave sin? Get real man... And what the fuck Marth...What the fuck... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Awesomest Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 But what's the point of taking out letters if it doesn't affect how it is said? Uh, none, I guess. The writing reflects how the words are pronounced. In Darros' case, then, I guess the apostrophes are in the wrong place. I'm imagining him speaking with sort of a cockney accent based on how they've written it, with glottal stops everywhere. I suppose taking out the 'e' in little won't affect much. Maybe "li'l" would work, but that isn't usually pronounced with the stops so I dunno Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheEnd Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 You shouldn't waste your time analyzing the grammar of text that is probably not going to be used, guys Really...Darros...Cooking fishes you caught while AT SEA as a grave sin? Get real man... Cooking baby fishes, as opposed to adult ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted November 1, 2011 Author Share Posted November 1, 2011 It's been a while, but we've been slowly making progress, while tackling some tricky issues. Dictionary Dialogue limit Base conversations Part 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Red Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 ^and more than not been updating solely on the blog for conveniency's sake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FionordeQuester Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 Hey, Vincent, I'm wondering, what exactly DOES this game say about Athena's backstory? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted November 1, 2011 Author Share Posted November 1, 2011 (edited) I've only read her base convos, but I don't recall them touching on anything. The most is that line in that screenshot when she says she's from a country across the sea, presumably a nation off the Archanean mainland, which could include islands such as Talys or possibly another continent? I guess she also refers to a saying from her country, but not sure if that would help identify anything. For reference the saying is 「雪国に入ったら、そこはもう雪国」"If you enter snow country, it becomes snow country." Edited November 1, 2011 by VincentASM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FionordeQuester Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 (edited) Ah, I see then. Could I please see the rest of that conversation that you posted, about her not knowing what a war council is? If you would, I would be most happy to help localize the dialogue in this game. All you need is either my profile or email, right? As far as I know, you can see my profile just by clicking my user name, right? Edited November 1, 2011 by FionordeQuester Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted November 1, 2011 Author Share Posted November 1, 2011 (edited) Ah, I see then. Could I please see the rest of that conversation that you posted, about her not knowing what a war council is? If you would, I would be most happy to help localize the dialogue in this game. All you need is either my profile or email, right? As far as I know, you can see my profile just by clicking my user name, right? While I'd normally appreciate an offer like this, I don't think it's wise for me to accept it given the current circumstances. If you just want to read the dialogue, I guess I could make an exception, if nobody on the team has an objection. However, we'll soon be seriously considering people to officially join the localisation side of the team (or I guess it's happening now), so I don't want to give you an edge over others, nor do I want to let your work go wasted if you aren't accepted onto the team. Hope that makes sense ^^ Edited November 1, 2011 by VincentASM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FionordeQuester Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 (edited) I see. Well then, don't give me the dialogue, as I was gonna rewrite it the way I did the Chris + Malicia conversation. Would it be unfair not to say why I feel like doing that? Edited November 1, 2011 by FionordeQuester Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VincentASM Posted November 1, 2011 Author Share Posted November 1, 2011 Well, it's been a while and I'm kind of forgetful, but I can imagine you may want to practice your writing or maybe you just like editing the text. So you don't really have to explain yourself and it's probably straying a bit from the main purpose of this thread. If you want, you can send a PM to me or just post here anyway (I'm only giving a suggestion right now, not enforcing anything), it's completely up to you ^^ I should emphasise that I'm not stopping you (or anybody) because of any reasons relating to individuals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Red Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I was about to step in and say something but then I realized there was a page 37 to this topic... I actually do object to publicly sharing scripts if it can be avoided. I'd rather not leave it open to the public, especially when most of the translations haven't undergone a decent amount of proofing yet. If you wish to help localize then make a post or send me or Vincent a PM and we're going to have "try outs" of sorts where we look for people who can do what we're looking for, since this is not just a little project where everyone gets to have fun writing, it's a serious endeavor where we are attempting to translate one language into another, which unfortunately involves more than literal word-to-word meanings... anyhow, you've made a post, so I'm keeping you at the top of my head for when we look for localizers. I'm sure there are other people out there who also have experience in writing that wouldn't mind (or perhaps have a real desire to) help(ing) localize dialog. Hopefully that makes sense, if not I can reiterate myself in a more coherent manner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FionordeQuester Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Nope, that sounds good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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