0ni Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) So I've been messing about with some programs, namely Nightmare, Tiled and FEditor adv and so I started writing out an idea for a hack. It's not too great, but I think it's pretty good for a rough idea. A lot of the text is out of whack because I used WordPad to write this down, but it still should be readable. Sorry if you have trouble, though: Characters: Kazuo | Level 1 | Class: Adept > Samurai (Recruit: Prologue, Unfolded Legend) May change Ch. name. Items: Stats: Growths: Capped Stats: Katana 50/50 HP 19 HP 70 HP 40 - 60 Healing Herbs 3/3 Str 5 Str 40 Str 20 - 25 Skill 7 Skill 55 Skill 20 - 30 Spd 7 Spd 55 Spd 20 - 29 Luck 4 Luck 30 Luck 30 - 30 Def 3 Def 30 Def 20 - 24 Weapon Level: Res 1 Res 25 Res 20 - 23 Sword: D --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Shiro | Level 1 | Class: Lance Knight > Paladin (Recruit: Prologue, Unfolded Legend) May change Ch. name. Items: Stats: Growths: Capped Stats: Iron Lance 50/50 HP 19 HP 75 HP 40 - 50 Healing Herbs 3/3 Str 6 Str 45 Str 20 - 26 Skill 7 Skill 55 Skill 20 - 29 Spd 5 Spd 40 Spd 20 - 25 Luck 4 Luck 35 Luck 30 - 30 Def 4 Def 30 Def 20 - 24 Weapon Level: Res 0 Res 20 Res 20 - 22 Lance: D Bow (Lance Pal): E --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Isamu | Level 1 | Class: Archer > Sniper (Recruit: Ch. 1, ) Items: Stats: Growths: Capped Stats: Iron Bow 50/50 HP 18 HP 70 HP 35 - 45 Healing Herbs 3/3 Str 4 Str 40 Str 20 - 25 Skill 5 Skill 60 Skill 20 - 30 Spd 6 Spd 50 Spd 20 - 28 Luck 4 Luck 30 Luck 30 - 30 Def 3 Def 20 Def 20 - 22 Weapon Level: Res 1 Res 25 Res 20 - 21 Bow: D --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rini | Level 1 | Class: Wind Mage > Wind Sage (Recruit: Ch. 1, ) Items: Stats: Growths: Capped Stats: Aero 50/50 HP 17 HP 55 HP 30 - 40 Healing Herbs 3/3 Mag 4 Mag 45 Mag 20 - 26 Skill 6 Skill 40 Skill 20 - 24 Spd 6 Spd 55 Spd 20 - 29 Luck 3 Luck 30 Luck 30 - 30 Def 1 Def 15 Def 20 - 21 Weapon Level: Res 4 Res 30 Res 20 - 23 Wind: D Fire (Wind Sage): E Thunder (Wind Sage): E --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapters: Prologue: Unfolded Legend (May change name): Emperor Gaighis: ...So have you found him yet? General Jula: Yes. Eiji found him residing in a small hut in Mist forest. Emperor Gaighis: Send some men after him, quickly. We can't let him slip out of our grasp. General Jula: I'll request General Youji to take his army there. Emperor Gaighis: Good. I want him to leave within the hour. General Jula: Yes, My lord. Emperor Gaighis: ... *Next day* Soldier 1: Is this the place? Soldier 2: Yeah, Eiji told the Emperor that this was the place. Soldier 1: Should we attack him now? Soldier 2: ...I don't think so. I've heard legends about Ryuno. He moves like the wind, and hits you like a tornado. We wouldn't stand a chance by ourselves. General Youji: Soldiers, have you any updates? Soldier 1: Sir, we have found that Ryuno resides in this hut. We're ready to attack when you say the word. General Youji: Good. Tell the other soldiers to stand guard. Soldier 1& 2: Yes, sir! *Inside* ???: What's going on outside? I hear someone... Kazuo: Who are they? ...They're soldiers of the Carlian army. What are they doing here in the middle of nowhere? ...Could it be possible they've found out...? *General Youji appears* Kazuo: ...Hey, what's going on over here? General Youji: Are you the one by the name Ryuno? Kazuo: No, he doesn't live here. General Youji: Don't lie, boy. There's nothing in your favor here. Kazuo: Then why don't you try me and see for yourself? General Youji: Hmph, you think you can take on a General? Don't flatter yourself. Kazuo: Don't think otherwise just because of my age. I could beat ten of you. General Youji: Oh? You better be able to back that up, cause if you plan on fighting me, you have to fight an entire army behind me. Kazuo: Hmph, I've been meaning to test my swordskills for a while. In the name of my father, I shall remove you from this area! No one enters the Mist Forest, treating as their play thing. General Youji: Ah... So you're the offspring of Ryuno, eh? This should be interesting. *Outside* General Youji: Men, form up! Don't kill the kid, leave him to me. He's mine. *Kazuo appears* Kazuo: This isn't good... I can't take on him, let alone a group of soldiers. If I let the come to me I might stand a chance. ...How do they know about Ryuno? General Youji: Hey, you! At the front! You can use a lance, right? Show me your worth. Shiro: Y-Yes, sir. General Youji: What's the matter? Shiro: Nothing, sir, it's just that this is the first assignment I've been assigned. General Youji: As long as you're qualified to be a fighter, you'll be alright. Shiro: Okay... General Youji: Remember, Izumi is counting on you. If I were up to it, I'd let her go, you know that. I'm afraid that under these circumstances I cannot help you. Shiro: I understand... Kazuo: Alright... It's. time to see if my skills have improved. Let's go! *Prologue Starts* Enemies: Soldier | Level 1 Soldier | Level 1 Soldier | Level 1 Soldier | Level 1 Fighter | Level 1 Fighter | Level 1 Myrmidon | Level 1 Myrmidon | Level 1 Cleric | Level 1 Fire Mage | Level 1 Thunder Mage | Level 1 Shiro | Level 1 (Recruitable) General Youji (1st time) | Level 3 | Class: Sword Armor > General Items: Stats: Capped Stats: Iron Sword 50/50 HP 21 HP 40 - 60 Str 5 Str 20 - 27 Skill 6 Skill 20 - 25 Spd 4 Spd 20 - 24 Luck 3 Luck 30 - 30 Def 6 Def 20 - 29 Weapon Level: Res 2 Res 20 - 22 Sword: D Lance (Sword Gen): E Fight Quote (Kazuo): General Youji: I've been waiting for this. Kazuo: As have I. General Youji: I'm surprised you have enough guts to take on a general. Kazuo: Positions in the army mean nothing to me. To be a master, you must be invincible, both Mentally and Physically. General Youji: You talk tough words, but words won't win this fight! Have at you!! Fight Quote (Shiro): General Youji: So... You're giving up on us on your first assignment? Shiro: Yes, sir... I'm done living a controlled life. I'm making my own disissions in life. General Youji: Controlled life? Don't be so vague. You live a better life than the commoners could ever hope to live. Why would you give that up? Shiro: ...I'm not giving it up, I'm leaving it. I'm fighting this battle, then resigning. General Youji: If that's the way you want it... But you know what that means, correct? It's lights out for Izumi. I want you to know, Shiro... I want hold back. Shiro: ...Let's Begin. Defeat Quote: General Youji: Impressive... I think it's best to retreat for now. I look forward to our next fight. But be warned... I know your secret, boy. You'll be followed wherever you go... Shiro Recruit Scene: Kazuo: Hey... What're you doing? Shiro: ... Kazuo: Whoa, hey! Hold on a second! You're shaking with that lance! Shiro: Please... Don't fight me. Kazuo: Hm? Shiro: I don't want to fight... I... I loathe violence... Kazuo: ...Follow me. Shiro: Huh? Kazuo: Look, if you want to get out of here safely, you'll have to lend me a hand. Shiro: Uh... Don't you realize I'm your enemy? Kazuo: No you aren't, I can sense your feelings. You have a reason to fighting. You aren't fighting because you want to. It's for a person. Shiro: ...?! How do you-- Kazuo: I'll explain that later. Now, will you help me? Shiro: O-Okay... You seem to be trustworthy. Shiro Fight Scene: Shiro: ... Kazuo: You're shaking! Drop that lance before you hurt yourself! Shiro: ...I won't let Izumi die... Shiro Death Quote (Chapter 1-10): Shiro: I guess I won't be seeing you again... I-Izumi... Notes: -You fail if Shiro is killed. -Shiro HAS to be recruited. -You will fight General Youji more than once. End of Chapter: Kazuo: Huh, Carlia's soldier are known to be the strongest in Iliva, yet they seemed to be very untrained. So much for that. Shiro: It's because General Youji has been training new recruits, and I was one of them. He really is a great man, but-- Kazuo: ...So, why is your friend, Izumi prisoned? Shiro: ...So you do know? But how? Kazuo: It's a secret technique I learnt from my father. Few people know of this. Shiro: Amazing... How come you're interested in my friend? Kazuo: My father told me, before he died to seek out a girl who has the same mark as me. Shiro: Mark? What mark? Kazuo: Since I was five, I've had this mark on my hand. It shapes much like a flaming bird. Apparently, there's another girl who has this mark, and it is of vital importance to find her. I don't leave this forest often, so I don't interact with many people. Shiro: Hm... I don't remember seeing a mark on her hand, then again she doesn't really show her hands much, because of her burnt hands. Kazuo: Burnt hands? Shiro: About a decade ago, she was in a fire and barely made it out unscathed. Her hands, unfortunately, are Shiro: ...? *??? Appears* ???: That mark is no ordinary mark, it is what may rest on the future of the world. Kazuo: Who's there? Show yourself. ???: Good to see you again, my son. Kazuo: Father? But I thought you-- Ryuno: It'll take me than a simple illness to throw me overboard. Kazuo: But how are you still alive? Ryuno: I cannot tell you, I don't have much time as it is. Kazuo: What do you mean? Ryuno: Everywhere you look has eyes. Don't want anyone listening in. I am about to tell you something that will change you and everyone you know forever. A long time ago, there were seven people who were chosen as the Seven Birds of Balance. Each had a mark on their body shaping a bird, but never knew about it. When they discovered this, suddenly their true power surfaced and became stronger than they ever thought to become, each with a weapon of their element. Soon, this power was too much for their body's to handle, and eventually went out of control, destroying everything and everyone in site. Shiro: What? But why? Ryuno: Because their body was overflowing with power and soon it took over their conscience. Kazuo: ...So what does this mean? Ryuno: Never let anyone know about this mark. It could be dangerous. You MUST find the other six who have this mark. If you don't, I dread what could happen... Kazuo: ...I understand. Ryuno: Farewell, Kazuo. Remember what I tought you. *Ryuno Disappears* Shiro: So... That was Ryuno... Kazuo: ... Shiro: What are you going to do? Kazuo: I'm taking my chances, if you don't mind me tagging along. Shiro: You want to know if Izumi has that mark? Kazuo: I don't know where to start, and you know your way around more than I know. I would have more luck following you. Shiro: Well, if you feel that you'd have better luck following me, then your welcome too. Kazuo: Thank you...? Shiro: Shiro, nice to meet you. Kazuo: The name's Kazuo. Pleasure. Well, where shall we start? *End of Chapter* Obviously you can see a lot of the story isn't making any sense at this point but that's mainly because it will be explained much more in chapter 1. I'd appreciate any feedback on the idea. Might put some things up eventually. Edited October 23, 2011 by 0ni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 You do realise this is utterly illegible, right? Right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0ni Posted October 23, 2011 Author Share Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) You do realise this is utterly illegible, right? Right? Yeah, I know, I said it was. When I copy and pasted it from WordPad it looked normal but when I saved the topic it turned out like this. Unless you mean in a whole it's hard to read? I did say it was a rough draft, as well. Edited October 23, 2011 by 0ni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 No idea what it looked like in WordPad, so I couldn't say. I can't pronounce anyone's names. Youji is too pathetically levelled to be a general. The PC Archer is utter shit. If you want to divide anima, from my admittedly limited understanding, wave goodbye to light and dark. Kazuo's a Sue. I'm fairly sure you can't make it so that Shuiro has to be recruited or the game will spontaneously fail, and even if you do that's terrible game design. No exposition. Blaaaaaaaaand dialogue. I Don't Care What Happens To These People. Just release a patch and it might actually improve if people can play the thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
0ni Posted October 23, 2011 Author Share Posted October 23, 2011 No idea what it looked like in WordPad, so I couldn't say. I can't pronounce anyone's names. Youji is too pathetically levelled to be a general. The PC Archer is utter shit. If you want to divide anima, from my admittedly limited understanding, wave goodbye to light and dark. Kazuo's a Sue. I'm fairly sure you can't make it so that Shuiro has to be recruited or the game will spontaneously fail, and even if you do that's terrible game design. No exposition. Blaaaaaaaaand dialogue. I Don't Care What Happens To These People. Just release a patch and it might actually improve if people can play the thing. Answer #1: Kazuo - Ka-zu-wo, Shiro - She-ro, Isamu - Es-arm-oo, Rini - Re-nee, Youji - Yo-gee Answer #2: Youji isn't a general, he's an Armor Knight/Knight, first tier. (This may be an RPG Maker game if it exceeds what a gba rom can hold) Answer #3: Eh, I didn't really know if he was any good but at least I know now. Answer #4: I will, unless like I said before if I plan on making this an RPG Maker game. Answer #5: I don't know what that means - I'm not very bright. Answer #6: Okay then, I'll probably just make him recruited at the start of the chapter. Answer #7: Like I said, it's still a rough brainstorm so I haven't really done anything yet except a rough draft on the prologue. Answer #8: Same as above. Answer #9: OK, I guess it probably isn't too deep yet, but I'm no expert on making games so yeah. I'll think it over for a bit whether I should change the story or just add more intensity or detail to it. Thank you for pointing out all the problems, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Answer #1: Kazuo - Ka-zu-wo, Shiro - She-ro, Isamu - Es-arm-oo, Rini - Re-nee, Youji - Yo-gee Then call them Shero, Renee and Yogi, or something that sounds vaguely like it's meant to be pronounced. Answer #2: Youji isn't a general, he's an Armor Knight/Knight, first tier. [spoiler=Forgive my skepticism, but...] General Youji: Are you the one by the name Ryuno? General Youji: Don't lie, boy. There's nothing in your favor here. General Youji: Hmph, you think you can take on a General? Don't flatter yourself. General Youji: Oh? You better be able to back that up, cause if you plan on fighting me, you have to fight an entire army behind me. General Youji: Ah... So you're the offspring of Ryuno, eh? This should be interesting. General Youji (1st time) General Youji: General Youji: You talk tough words, but words won't win this fight! Have at you!! Shiro: It's because General Youji has been training new recruits, and I was one of them. Answer #5: I don't know what that means - I'm not very bright. Basically, Kazuo is a Special Child from a Magical Land with Super Hippy Powers who can Search your Feelings. This is a bad thing. Answer #9: OK, I guess it probably isn't too deep yet, but I'm no expert on making games so yeah. It's not the fact that it isn't deep, it's the fact that I don't know or care what's going on. I'll think it over for a bit whether I should change the story or just add more intensity or detail to it.Thank you for pointing out all the problems, though. You are welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Raven Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) ... Try surrounding all your text with code tags. At least, the stats parts. Shero, Renee and YogiErm... first off all, I read Shiro as "Sheero" like she intended. Renee is a completely different name than Rini, and Youji is like You-jee and not Yogi.I feel if you add like 2-3 to an Archer's stats then he'd be balanced. That way he can actually at least wound things and make pretty good use of that player phase that he's locked to (unlike your standard archers). But I don't think this is the thread to discuss that. Edited October 23, 2011 by Mercenary Raven Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) Furet, the names are all Japanese (which means, technically speaking, Jula should be Jura, and I have no idea what Gaighis is based off of). I'm not too fond of that pronunciation guide, though. Why in the world are all the weapons 50 uses? Edited October 23, 2011 by eclipse Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) inb4 "It was in FE4". Although given that all except the less-than-promisingly named Katana are either Iron or (presumably) basic, 50 seems fair enough to round up to. Erm... first off all, I read Shiro as "Sheero" like she intended. Renee is a completely different name than Rini, and Youji is like You-jee and not Yogi. I couldn't think of a spelling besides Renee. Shiro and Youji were given to me as 'she-ro' and 'yo-gee'. Am I unreasonable for pronouncing them 'she-ro' and 'yo-gee' rather than somehow looking into the creator's mind and finding out from there? Edited October 23, 2011 by Furetchen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HF Makalov Fanboy Kai Posted October 23, 2011 Share Posted October 23, 2011 ....i have to admit...i couldn't bring myself to read/understand any of what was posted in the OP. but from reading the other comments its clear this needs to be worked on by...well alot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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