Percivalé Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 have you ever lost someone without ever telling them you really appreciated them, or maybe you did and they didn't understand it, or maybe you couldn't understand yourself? and you wish you at least understood yourself what it really meant to you because with that part gone it is really as if there's a hole there and people disregard this statement as cheesy but it really feels as if there's a hole in my psyche and I can't fix it because I already fucked everything up by being a competitive asshole, and this has happened perhaps around five times and might have happened again and I hate six, six is a terrible number, and talking to other people doesn't always help and yet you don't know any other way for help and you feel like a miserable pile of shit and you keep crying every ten minutes or every night and you can't sleep because of it and I keep hearing voices and jumping at my shadow and there is light dancing in through my window and it frightens me every time I see it, especially at the possible concept of apparitions laughing at my irreversible mistakes. I hear dissonant sounds, too, and they sound a little like music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Percivalé Posted January 5, 2012 Author Share Posted January 5, 2012 oh and yes i miss erl i never got to tell him that our friendship meant a lot i don't know if anything means anything anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Percivalé Posted January 5, 2012 Author Share Posted January 5, 2012 yeah and another thing i have such a hard time trusting friendships anymore. People are friendly at first and then they change and suddenly don't like you anymore andyou believe it's your fault when it was probably just them but it's hard to tell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Percivalé Posted January 5, 2012 Author Share Posted January 5, 2012 oh and i hate the word 'albeit.' it's so much harder to use than people make it out to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Bizz, what makes you think everyone will dismiss that as cheesy? I don't think it's cheesy. I don't know what you're going through, and I'm not going to say something as unsympathetic as that, but I do understand what you mean about there actually being a hole left behind by people you lose. I hope you overcome this, Bizz. Best of luck. If there's ever any way that I can help, I hope you'll tell me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peppy Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Don't know what to say... Sorry that you had to go through all this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyuremu Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Whatever you're going through, I hope you feel better soon... Just wanted to say that I do understand how you feel, at least partially. Things will get better, but we just have to endure. There are people you can talk to, for support or just a listening ear. Talk to them if you have to! Cheers =) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Awwww Bizzy I'm sorry about this. Losses like this are always really hard to take =[ Especially if it makes you feel guilty. I feel like the situation I had been in was similar, but what you're going through is worse. I really really hope you can feel better! I'm not really too sure what to say... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Percivalé Posted January 5, 2012 Author Share Posted January 5, 2012 ... oh I didn't remember posting this until just now I probably would have completely forgotten about it if I hadn't automatically checked my phone's history when I woke up. I didn't actually expect to get these kinds of replies, though... thanks guys ;~; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Original Alear Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I'm not sure if I should be glad that this has never happened to me and impacted me particularly negatively, because people don't matter very much to me, or be sad because I am a horrible human being. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Percivalé Posted January 5, 2012 Author Share Posted January 5, 2012 I'm honestly scared at how bad my depression's been getting lately It's bothering me that I feel this way for pretty much no reason ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peener weener Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 (edited) ok ok get on skype you whore actually wait I don't wanna be the dumb guy I won't be able to log on for 20-50 minutes Edited January 5, 2012 by Stolypin Necktie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Percivalé Posted January 5, 2012 Author Share Posted January 5, 2012 I don't have Skype on this computer :c I could install it for like five seconds and get on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Percivalé Posted January 5, 2012 Author Share Posted January 5, 2012 oh, thanks for editing your post instead of just posting a new post I'm installing skype already ): Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I didn't actually expect to get these kinds of replies, though... thanks guys ;~; You shouldn't be!! =/ Don't think that we don't care about you. And don't forget that you still have friends on here to comfort you if you feel too upset/lonely~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Aw, it's alright. We all love you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buttmuncher.ops Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 ily Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Percivalé Posted January 6, 2012 Author Share Posted January 6, 2012 ... ;-; i love all of you guys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buttmuncher.ops Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 ilymoar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack of the Dead Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 There's a lot of times I wonder if something I did in the past was a wrong decision that led me to do stupid things. and I usually end up making it a bigger problem in my head than it actually was and it haunts me. Stupid things I did from 8 years ago still haunt me because I made such a big deal out of it. But the way I get out of that is by looking to what else can come on the future. If they get mad at you and don't tell you what the reason is and try to fix it, that's their problem, not yours. There are others out there. better people. If you keep looking down and tracing your steps behind you, you'll never see the great things that are in the skies ahead of you. Don't let it haunt you. and if the above posts prove anything, it's that you have good friends in the forest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 After the stormy night, the ensuing dawn is much more beautiful. I believe everything will work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aere Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 Hey, there's nothing to worry about. Wherever they are, they definitely know how you feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freohr Datia Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 Ahem, they is a he guys ;b Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jack of the Dead Posted January 6, 2012 Share Posted January 6, 2012 Ahem, they is a he guys ;b does that change things? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Midnight Nightmare Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 oh and yes i miss erl i never got to tell him that our friendship meant a lot i don't know if anything means anything anymore. Bizzu~ we share the same feeling its just that, he just stopped going online to SF because he felt weird every time he signed in, like he didn't fit in or something along the lines Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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