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The United Socialist States of Metallistan


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The Issue

Various opinions have been brought to your attention over what your closest advisors are referring to as the 'anarchy situation'.

The Debate

"We've got to do something about this chaos!" yells General Don Cohen, firing a rifle at a band of armed looters. "There's no order in this country! No one is safe! We must rebuild the army and crack down on the militant groups ravaging our fair land! It's the only way we will ever return the cesspit of crime and depravity The Shoulders of Titans has become to a land of law and order!"

Returning fire, both figuratively and literally, is Cooper Jefferson, biker gang leader and anarchist: "That there's anyone claiming to be a government is ludicrous. People should be allowed to determine their own fate and survival without fear of breaking these inhibiting laws! All government officials should be removed at once if this country is ever to become well and truly 'equal'!"

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

"I've got a different idea," says Samuel Lopez, your minister of commerce, speaking from his hiding place under a desk. "Television viewers in more developed countries actually like seeing gratuitous violence. We could put up cameras in some of the more dangerous streets and sell the broadcasting rights to foreign networks. It could raise awareness of our situation, or at the very least rake in some Gold Bullions. The money could be used to fund a more organised police system to enforce the law."

The Government Position

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The Issue

A brother and sister, Jack and Jill, went to apply for a marriage license today, causing a stir among the populace and many media outlets.

4. "Duuude, marriage is like totally outdated", says a hippie, wearing a multi-colored robe and in need of a wash. "They're like, restrictive and they bring down the vibe, man. Why put people in a box; let us roam free and we can all be brothers and sisters! It's what's nature wanted!"

LOLOLOLOL

I am totally going with this one. gee_wiz_emoticon.gif

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'The government -- a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal morass '

It bears mentioning that this is actually an improvement.

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So guys. Perfect economy. ;/

applause for mister ether

also of note

"Conscription flies in the face of my religion,"

Okay first of all this means this guy is not following the compulsory national religion

Second of all this guy is refusing to be conscripted

This guy couldn't be doing much worse.

EDIT: MY ARMS MANUFACTURING IS THREE

I THINK THIS IS A NEW HIGH FOR ANY INDUSTRY I'VE HAD

Edited by Strider
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Censoring Harry Potter for the third time in a row yaaaaaaay.

I keep getting "Power to the People", "Bring Back the Ballot", etc.

It's not going to happen

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Nice.

I opened up sports fields because I thought it would stimulate my economy. Now, "major cities shut down as their local sports team takes to the field every day," and my economy dropped 12 points, literally to the point it was at when Harmony-Harmony started out. Gog yammit.

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So I felt doing international arms deals would be something conducive to explosions. Unfortunately, whoever wrote the issue is evidently still butthurt over the setup to the Gulf War, and INEXPLICABLY my political freedoms drop by EIGHT. Fucking hell.

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Um, guys...

"Drugs by one name, sacred plants by another," intones His High Holiness of a major religion, daubing holy oil on your forehead. "The Church has historically used extracts of consecrated substances to open the vistas of piety and bring oneself closer to the Supreme Being. With modern pharmaceutical techniques, we can easily manufacture enough to infuse the water supply of all of Duchesne, just like we do with fluoride. Is spiritual transcendence a less worthy cause than cavity prevention? I think not."

Should I put drugs in my water supply? gee_wiz_emoticon.gif

Edited by Esme
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An old supporter of yours has recently passed on, leaving a quite sizeable plot of land to you in his will - but only under a rather unusual condition: that the site be developed into a colosseum for hosting gladiatorial fights and other bloody spectacles.

1. "Yes, yes!" cries Buy Chicago,

Admittedly, I wasn't going to do it until I saw his name.

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[08:17:11] Ike: holy

[08:17:12] Ike: loving

[08:17:13] Ike: shit

[08:17:17] Ike: 6 hours ago: Integristan was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Average.

[08:17:17] Spectakitty: eh wot wot

[08:17:21] Spectakitty: ooiiiiii

[08:17:25] Ike: I have a fucking gold badge

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[08:17:11] Ike: holy

[08:17:12] Ike: loving

[08:17:13] Ike: shit

[08:17:17] Ike: 6 hours ago: Integristan was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Average.

[08:17:17] Spectakitty: eh wot wot

[08:17:21] Spectakitty: ooiiiiii

[08:17:25] Ike: I have a fucking gold badge

congratulations mr. ike

44% disappearance

it's amaze

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The Dictatorship of Harpoon-The Procrastinator is a huge, economically powerful nation, renowned for its unlimited-speed roads. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 874 million are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt government stops and the rest of society begins, but it is mainly concerned with Defence, although Law & Order and Commerce are secondary priorities. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Creeper's Valley. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 29%. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Gambling industries.

Fur coats have become the latest fashion trend, convicted felons are forced into slavery for their crimes, immigrants are required to salute the flag five times a day, and almost all of Harpoon-The Procrastinator's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is a major problem. Harpoon-The Procrastinator's national animal is the Seaking, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its currency is the Pokeball.

So tourists count as "resources..."

Also, FUCK YEAH SEAKING!

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The Armed Republic of Oldsmobile Zeon is a massive, economically powerful nation, ruled by Johnny Ridden with an even hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, intelligent population of 2.191 billion have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The government -- a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass -- devotes most of its attentions to Defence, with areas such as the Environment and Religion & Spirituality receiving almost no funds by comparison. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Olympus Novus. The average income tax rate is 14%. A powerhouse of a private sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, followed by Information Technology and Tourism.

Citizens are regularly found digging for treasure in their gardens, parents are held criminally responsible for their children's crimes, photographers can be found hiding behind the curtains in Johnny Ridden's bedroom, and citizens have reported seeing strange rays of light emanating from the moon. Crime is moderate, probably because of the country's utter lack of prisons. Oldsmobile Zeon's national animal is the Cougar, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the Zum.

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Somehow the following things dropped my civil rights by a measly 1 point, but raised my economy by a whole fucking 18. Winning?

1 day 3 hours ago: Following new legislation in Wales Union, prisons are crowded with possible terrorist suspects.

1 day 3 hours ago: Following new legislation in Wales Union, roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews.

1 day 3 hours ago: Following new legislation in Wales Union, the government is attempting to revitalize a gutted private sector.

1 day 3 hours ago: Following new legislation in Wales Union, shanty towns are forming in the suburbs of major cities.

31f2b863f3e5b5e806f9f517be7d0b06.png

The United Kingdom of Wales Union is a huge, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants. Its compassionate population of 468 million are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent government stops and the rest of society begins, but it concentrates mainly on Education, although Social Welfare and Healthcare are secondary priorities. It meets every day to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Draig Goch Ddinas. The average income tax rate is 40%, but much higher for the wealthy. A small private sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry.

Shanty towns are forming in the suburbs of major cities, the government is attempting to revitalize a gutted private sector, roads are often attended by round-the-clock construction crews, and prisons are crowded with possible terrorist suspects. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Wales Union's national animal is the Red Dragon, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the Welsh Pound.

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Somehow the following things dropped my civil rights by a measly 1 point, but raised my economy by a whole fucking 18. Winning?

your rights/freedoms are too high

"Have you been to the beach lately? It's disgusting," says company spokesperson Louis Yeats. "There's litter, there's teenagers smoking, and there are people enjoying themselves without paying for it.

I like this guy.

1 political freedoms

come on 0

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