Nuzlocke Middleage School!

[General Horace]

dammit shin i can't win

even if i can type witty rhymes

[Shin]

dammit shin i can't win

even if i can type witty rhymes

It's good to see you finally conceded! Long live, Shin!

[General Horace]

but according to the most recent poll change, I am the most handsome! Take that Shin

edit you changed the poll when i was winning again D:

Edited May 11, 2012 by General Horace

[Elieson]

but according to the most recent poll change, I am the most handsome! Take that Shin

But of course. You are Asian Gary Oak after all.

[General Horace]

ok one more updato before a twist of some sorts

i shouldn't have gone randomly exploring though

[spoiler=up to doing random shit]

another fucking rattata

HELLO NEXT THING I SAW

I'm not a douchebag like that otherguy shin

Woah this might be kind of rare!

too bad it suckss

and is hard to catch

the fuck is the gym leader

another potentially rare thing that sucks!

yesss

I don't really want to use Gyarados he's too op

but i caught it anyway

also yay

now begins random exploration

starting with darkcave

fuck my life

Also YOUNGSTER JOEY CALLED AGAIN (4) and challenged me to a battle

he evolved his rattata what is this shit

Cool i guess

back to new bark town

caught a shelldur

lolwut, that's where this is?

oh yeha i caught a tentacool

TOHJO FALLS GIVES ME SEAKING

named SEAQUEEN

wee money

forget where i caught you but BOTH TENTACOOLS WERE PUT IN DAYCARE

meanwhile back in dark cave with flash

there are wobbuffets here?

for some reason, you can only have one moomoo milk in your bag

so i made pokemon hold onto them. Thanks Lightli!

suddenly AUGUSTO the VENONAT is the highest levelled dude

why are they on land

daycare you suck

also you can fish up other people's pokemon here apparently

RANDOLF you player

thank you RALPH

you're not as cool as my ARCANINE from pokemon red

NIDORINO is cooler than NIDORINA

totally thought this dude was my rival

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU EXPLODING GEODUDES

he had like 2 hp left after i used dig

went to catch a ruins of alph pokemon

and it fucking ran away

RIP D:

also climbed the lighthouse and stuff but that's boring

[Refa]

It's a brand new day! Maybe things sucked last time, but they're going to get so much better-

too-day. OK, no, today's going to suck even worse.

What an accomplishment.

Duh, anyone can beat a Rattata.

I dunno why, but this provides me with endless amusement.

oh fuck you too game

JUST CAUSE

So then I trained a few scrubs because my team was like, 2 Pokemon.

And ended up with this.

One of Crystal versions amazing new innovations was adding this pointless fetch quest. In the original, beat Whitney, get SQUIRTBOTTLE. Here? Beat Whitney, talk to here, go back, talk to her again, THEN get SQUIRTBOTTLE. Clearly Crystal version is the best.

OK, TIME TO TAKE A RISK.

LET'S SEE WHAT AMAZING POKEMON I CAN FIND HERE.

Oh no whatever will I do

Bitch couldn't even harm ERINA.

Don't beat yourself up, I am the best.

Wait I have like 3 Pokemon dead already.

On second thought, yes, do beat yourself up.

My luck is amazing.

GIVE ME EEEEEEVEEEEEEE

Oh yeah, BRIGGID soloed the Kimono Girls.

SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURF

Then I proceeded to forget that this existed for the rest of the update.

Especially if people are dying. That's my faaaaaaaaaaaaaavourite bit.

...Psychopath.

RIVAL BATTLE....AGAIN!

Wherein the game hates my guts...again!

What the fuck, he shouldn't even know SELFDESTRUCT, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GAME.

You do that, I can't get him because he's banned here anyways because...I dunno, SHIN hates me or something something.

EEEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEE

There's only one name for him.

Oh god that moveset it's so...dreadful!

Fine, take this. Noone else wants it anyways.

And MUDSLAP.

Cecilia turns everyone lesbian.

Even if you're a dude.

...Especially, actually.

OK Morty time!

Noone died what a surprise.

No seriously, it's pretty surprising.

Because I kinda suck at this if you hadn't noticed.

Well, at least I found another Mousiccate.

I am a world class Pokemon trainer!

Let me join your army!

yes

MY GREATEST FOE.

Seriously, I had noone who could scratch this bastard because RECOVER besides GEODUDE.

Thank god he didn't know any WATER moves.

But seriously.

My team kinda blows type coverage wise.

FINE

What kind of amazing Pokemon do you have since the last time we fought?

srsly?

yesssssssssssss

This place isn't even near Kanto, what a load of crock.

Best title ever.

FISHING

EXCEPT GOOD INSTEAD OF OLD

More HMs that I forgot existed.

Nah, I kinda forgot you existed.

I guess this is okay...

Lame.

I suck!

[Shin]

Time for a very special update!

Now, we agreed that we'd all steal somebody else's pokemon after Morty. Starter and Eevee/Dratini are not fair game! We decided whoever won the bug catching contest would go first. Now, Horace came first, I came second and Refa lost. Let's see how it goes.

This is a strange one!

No!!! This isn't fair!

Hahaha!

And for some reason, Refa is Sunday man!

Curse you, Horace!

Ouch, Horace lost his quick claw!

Uh... my N64 must be on the frits.

Horace gained my Fearow, Ms. Tasty.

I stole Refa's Geodude, Dudebro.

Refa pinched Horace's Slowpoke, Cecilia... who has the same name as his character.

[General Horace]

take that refa, I benched my slowpoke a while back

but it took my QUICK CLAW

[riariadne]

important question why do all the poll options suck

[General Horace]

next update

[spoiler=up to somewhere in rocket hideout]

now i can evolve him since trade period is over

take that refa and shin

ewll that was convienient

pogeymanz love me

NJORD evolved

fuck.you

ohmygod starmie

i.... don't even know what this is

DAMMIT

there it can hit stuff now

i hate this game

this is breaking like all the rules of pokemon

can't they only say their name

thanks for nothing bitch

quality radio programs

my my i guess i can delete RALPH then

more filler to throw in the pc

harden at level 27

wut

clearly a drug dealer

i got ripped

i demand a refund

i am so economical saving that 1000 poke

why do all the trainers around here suck horribly

also dear mother bought me a moon stone

NJORD you're a bro but the next few gyms are unkind to you and you're slow as fuck

**brofist**

my team is full or royalty

seaKING, nidoKING, nidoQUEEN

sorry bug catcher arnie

at least they're evolved

LANCE is totally batman

weee moar filler

AHA I FOUND YOU AGAIN

:D

time to fuck bitches

huh

i dig something i caught before the third gym out of my box and it can still pick off trainers at this point

ok these guys really piss me off

forgot video of chuck and jasmine, oops

chuck was fearow'd then bayleef used reflect and razor leaf, and dratini 2HKO'd magnemites and seaking 2HKO'd steelix

[General Horace]

last time i don't know what happened

[spoiler=Up to Ho Oh]

i forgot to include this last time

i thought this was the secret switch

... fuck

not this bullshit again

"when i talked to the door it only said one"

creative

best rocket

so cool

well two passwords in about a minute, not bad

the fuck game

ok it actually took me like 10 minute to realize i had to talk to this guy

come at me doublebattle time

DRAGONITE

i wanted to catch one but I was afraid of explosions

not this gym

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzO06aOdQYU

deep

itt the world becomes extremely dense

including team rocket

...

someone can't do their job

go kick team rocket's ass you useless cunt

... and they're too stupid to guard the entrance...

awwww

the fuck

i wish i had a porygon

:D

fuck this shit

sideways

this guy again

looks kind of silly but yayyyyy

ITS TIME BITCH

what a shame.

Edited May 13, 2012 by General Horace

[a.f.k.a. Howard Hughes]

A) confusion is bullshity

B) Rival Battle?

[General Horace]

oops

I have the rival battle sitting here but i'm stupid and didn't upload it

in the meantime here's the ho oh battle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88Vg507M7e0

dragonair

is the biggest fucking boss ever

also rival battle, but it's processing still

www.youtube.com/watch?v=E13kJCMd8e4

Edited May 13, 2012 by General Horace

[Refa]

In this update I'm a moron again.

But what else is new?

For REFA.

I defy your suggestion!

only because you said Please?

Boss.

But she's a little redundant.

WHAT NOW

No Tentacool for me.

I wish I caught this bugger instead.

Getting some bad Misty vibes from this STARMIE.

I CAN TAKE-

OR NOT

Who uses DISABLE that sucks.

DRAGON RAGE? Seriously?

My luck is amazing.

Yeah what about it?

I can take you.

THUNDER? Seriously?

Well I'm going to lose anyways SO WHATEVER.

And you're an asshole.

One of the few times I displayed a level of competence not usually found in me.

Hahaha

Let's do this.

Easy win.

...Of course.

Then it become easy.

word

Maybe I do just suck but this game isn't making things any easier on me.

I am my worst enemy.

I'm still FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE.

Oh yeah I caught one of them fishy Pokemon.

These guys were easier than they look.

Why must you taunt me game?

How about shut up I'm in no mood for sex joke.

What about the Foot Clan?

Well that's uh...half decent.

Could've been better.

...Could've been VENONAT.

AKA BITCH.

HACKER ALERT

Easier than the level 20 Gyarados' were.

WHAT COULD IT BE

Well

...

that was unexpected.

I'll just ahhhhh

Catch a MAGIKARP some other time.

Oh you dickbutts.

orly

Edited May 13, 2012 by Refa

[Shin]

Shin updates again!

Holy trout! That's pretty usable!

I wanted a moon stone and Kanto treated me to its finest pokemon.

Woo!

See, I'm nice to Milktanks.

Death to Milktank!

Thanks, Refa!

My fangirls must wait.

For some reason I came back here, trying to catch a Magmar.

It didn't go well.

Learn to rage!

It's a curse I tell you.

You look like Dracula.

I'm a genius!

I'm not very good at this stealth thing.

For the last time, Camtech! I'm a ladies man!

I beat people up until they told me.

No fair! You have a whole base full of mooks!

Word.

So I get to kill half of them?

Learn to explode!

No!!! Why do I trust you with my money!

No!!!! How can I get my Rage now!!!

Well, since you asked...

No!!!!! Curse you, Dewgong!!! It's not super at all!

I'm off to beat Chuck...

Well, that was easy.

Curse you, Horace! I have to rely on Megaturkey!

The pokemon, sure. You, no.

Weak!

Death to Dewgong!

Funky.

I'm a genius!

You're going down, old man!

I'll snap that cane, old man!

Well, this is odd.

My first death. Forgive me, Bor-man!

[Refa]

Remember those last few updates where I killed Pokemon left and right?

Well if you didn't read those and only read this one, you'd think I was like, good at Pokemon or something.

So do that.

Well that wasn't very nice.

Lance is truly a master negotiator.

Then explain why YOU have it.

Quite the verbal tick you've got going there, buddy.

Or else what?

Will the world implode? Will life cease to have meaning? Will you get fired?

WHY

Well, at least he's looking to the future after his CRUSHING DEFEAT by the hands of me....Pokemon.

But double battles weren't invented yet!

Lance endorses cooperative play!

Which is funny because most Pokemon games are like, competitive. No cooperation to be found there.

THE HYPOCRISY OF IT ALL

I wanted Espeon...

Things could've turned awry with some misplaced SELFDESTRUCT crits.

But that never happened so whatever. OK, time to take on Pryce!

I'm on a roll, to Jasmine!

Didn't I just beat them like ten minutes ago?

I know I should be like, "oh noez team racket"

But I can't help but admire the attention to detail that Game Freak put into this game, like making sure the Radio channels were actually, you know, HIJACKED. You didn't see this very often with many other games of the era!

An obnoxious swarm of Ratticates?

THIS GAME

I THINK I MIGHT MARRY IT

in bed

Not really?

Wait, I think I'm forgetting something.

Oh yeah, that.

SLUDGEBOMB.

Let's see what I can wrangle up this time.

I got a good feeling!

Beats SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN but loses to Horace drats.

THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS

Oooooh Wing Attack, me likie.

See, because it doesn't suck in 2nd Gen.

GET TO DA CHOPPA

Well...

...this is rather awkward.

I KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.

...Or not, no SELFDESTRUCT.

It's on!

Neither did those burglars, yet I don't see you bitching at them!

Wasn't that like ten minutes ago?

You don't even have a Pokemon with FLY how did you get here so fast?

"It's no big deal, happens every few weeks. Man, one of these days, we should get around to installing one of those thingymajigs. What're they called, lucks, rocks, laucks, whatever I'll get around to it eventually."

Fun and games are over.

It's ASS KICKING TIME.

Also shopping time.

It's dangerous to go alone [TYPHLOSION], take these TM's with you!

Quite.

You guys weren't here before what gives?

Yesssssss

I've never ever gotten a Pidgeot before.

THIS RUN HAS BEEN REDEEMED IN MY EYES

Wow...

he's actually not bad.

Just try to tell me that there is a better name for POLIWHIRL.

Next update....wait a moment, I've got slightly more to do!

Is it just me or...does this place look way prettier than it did in the other games?

Nice to know that the game is giving me CHUMPS again.

LIKE I SAID

woot

[General Horace]

and the winner of the magikarp catching contest is...

MILAN the magikarp

[Shin]

Curse you, Horace!

Yes!

Yes! This day keeps getting better!

I needed a radio tower anyway.

I'm the best.

VBA decided it would be funny not to record my rival battle.

Skipping stuff!

What a bro... and a dude.

Sure.

I don't care.

Now, off to kill Lugia.

Caught a mook to use whirlpool for me. There goes my Cianwood pokemon.

No!!!

After much searching, I found Lugia.

It's how I rage for so long.

Obligatory Shin-is-a-chick-magnet joke.

Ms. Piggy!

Hahaha! The second thing I find is kinda rare!

I try...

Bring it.

Ha!

No!!!! Curse you, Claire!

I shall devour your soul.

At least I'm doing better than Refa.

Edited May 13, 2012 by Parco Folgore

[BBM]

It's funny how none of your starters survived last time, but you've all managed to have them survive this time.

Now that I've jinxed you, they will all die.

Edited May 13, 2012 by BigBangMeteor

[Refa]

It's funny how none of your starters survived last time, but you've all managed to have them survive this time.

Now that I've jinxed you, they will all die.

What

Both me and Horace's starters survived.

[Shin]

What

Both me and Horace's starters survived.

Indeed, only mine died. Hey look, an update!

Now, like the Bug Catching Contest, we agreed that Magikarp would decide a cruel trading circle. Horace won again, and I lost...

Curse you, little girl!

Haha! That's terrible!

Yo.

Take that, Horace!

Hey look! Refa has a good pokemon now!

Stolen!

Horace claimed my Steroidina for the forces of evil. It evolved into a Machamp.

Refa stole Horace's Devon, the Nidoking.

I jacked Refa's Godwin! Dratini power!

[BBM]

What

Both me and Horace's starters survived.

What

ITT my reading comprehension skills are terrible...

[General Horace]

You might have thought mine died because I didn't use him after Eirika.

Also curse you REFA

[Refa]

This update was amazing and the best and I loved it so much.

THEN GOOGLE CHROME DECIDED TO BE A LIL' BITCH AND DELETE IT AS USUAL

FUCK YOU GOOGLE

Time to see what I can catch at TOHJO FALLS.

Get it, because it's like JOHTO but spelt wrong because silly KANTO people can't spell!

Lame as usual.

EXP Share is cool, now I can train all of my scrubs!

That's...nice.

Because nothing beats living in a damp cave.

Not more of this bullshit.

OK, this Pokemon has the potential to be-

HOLY HOLEPUNCH CELICE A NATU

Dammit, now it's gonna-

Yes, I am the luckiest man ever!

Get on ma team, bro.

Can't this wait?

Holy shit now his POLIWHIRL does like...

EIGHT DAMAGE to my Ratticate.

I COULD ALWAYS USE MORE POKEMON

SURE WHY NOT

Yeah, I'm basically KING OF GAME.

Wait, I'm a girl.

THAT CHANGES NOTHING.

What kind of FASCINATING new Pokemon can I find here?

Piss off.

Woots were had because XATU is amazing.

This wasn't in the other versions of the game.

It was easier than the math placement test I had to take a few days ago.

IT'S ALL GOOD

come at me bro

wait I don't have any open spaces

...dammit

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLS

THE GOOD KIND TOO

THE MASTERFUL ONES

I love you like a brother!

Oh cool a Graveler.

Well maybe if you weren't being such a prick it wouldn't have to come down to this.

What fascinating new creature can I find here?

Quite fascinating!

Serves you right, BURGLAR JOE, if that is YOUR REAL NAME.

Now REFA has PIMP SHADES.

LIFE IS GOOOOOOD.

Why must you taunt me so, game?

Irwin is still a bro.

Come to me, you and I, we'll capture...EVERYTHING.

Oh, and then we did the tradey tradey thing and I got this dudebro.

BUT AT WHAT COST NOOOOOOOOOOO NOT GODWIN

Also it's my fault for being a moron because I could've just held off getting him until later. "Ignorance is bliss" is a load of crock, being stupid makes me feel bad.

So funny story.

I was trying to catch an ARBOK and he dodged all of balls.

ALL OF THEM

Arbok more like Cockblock.

Doduo is cool.

And he doesn't take all of my balls like certain ASSHOLES who shall not be named.

Umbreon > Espeon you heard it here first.

Yeah, I know, I'm amazing, hold your applause until after I beat the Elite 4 though.

Man, I really need to get a PIMP MOBILE like mother fucking Gary Oak.

Maybe I'll get to that in Kanto.

Next update!

Edited May 14, 2012 by Refa

[General Horace]

[spoiler=Up to KANTO]

the fuck is an aipom

ICE PATH

not as bad as i thought

WHY would I trade a DRAGONAIR FEMALE for RHYDON

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaijN_Nu_-c

I AM RETARDED AND DRAGONAIR ALMOST DIED

**sigh**

goddamn

do not want

I'M GONNA USE IT ON A COOL POKEMON

MACHAMP

meet MILAN the prizewinning MAGIKARP turned HM SLAVE

prochamp

too lazy did not catch

YOUNGSTER JOEY YOU'RE MY ONLY MALE CONTACT LEFT IN MY PHONEBOOK

its a raticate last time i fought it

continuity error

that's my lifestyle though

IF I DIDN'T USE TRIATTACK!! LAST TIME I WOULD USE AGAIN

caught it anyway

heil

about time

You called me like 2 minutes ago

fine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtT0edbzBT8

elite 4 video goes here

nothing died meganium swept lance

DUKING IT OUT IN KANTO

and now a snorlax blocks my path fml

Edited May 14, 2012 by General Horace