Idiocy

[Dandragon]

I've been having to deal with a person who thinks he the best at everything, knows everything, and is too ignorant to stop arguing over something until he is the victor. A self-entitled fuck who is backed by a guy who claims to use logic, but rather just twists my words against me. Now, you might say the solution is to just leave them be, well what happens when they don't go away? They just don't ever shut up nor do they leave me alone. I've tried coping with it but I can no longer do it. They are just trolls who don't know when to quit, and no matter what I say, I won't win an argument as they just brush off any statement I make. One of them even said to me that "you don't want to get into an argument with me, there's just no use" and "i'm more entitled to anything than you are. We asians work much harder than you americans". Yes, they're both asian, which limits me to what I can say as they could just pull out the words "you're being racist" and everybody will side with them. One of them even knows how to hack and I'm worried if i DO something, then my computer and everything on it is gone and all of my personal information is out to the public. I've talked to my parents, to other of my friends, but I need to ask you guys. What do I do? Do I just stick it out? Do I hit them the next time I see them? What, I ask, what?

[Hawkeye]

Just don't have conversations with them? China has a lower life expectancy than the U.S. so you should be in the clear eventually.

[Dandragon]

Just don't have conversations with them? China has a lower life expectancy than the U.S. so you should be in the clear eventually.

They live in the US. and as I said, they never leave me alone.

[Comet]

Whatever you do, DO NOT HIT THEM.

[Doga]

Just knock some sense into the alpha-male.

Then pee on them to show superiority.

[Dandragon]

Whatever you do, DO NOT HIT THEM.

I'll keep that in mind.

[ThatGuyDownTheStreet]

The way I would handle this is that I would just try to brush these people off, like saying "sure" or "whatever" to any of their irritating statements. Though I don't know these people, so I can't say this will definitely work or not. At any point, it's best just not to give them the satisfaction of your pain that they are seeking. IDK, I hope that this stops, 'cause this is definitely a problem IMO.

[lonelyVoxel]

Well, this seems like one of those things in school where there's a guy who is just a jerk. It's always a win for the jerk, since if you retaliate, you get more, if you leave it be, it continues, and if you tell a teacher, possibly the same as before. Also, sometimes they make empty threats, which I believe might be the hacking thing. The bigotry is yet another thing. If they believe that they are better than you are, than they must have a weird mindset. Another example, me in the library looking for a book. One guy in sitting in a chair near where I am browsing. He says that I am invading my privacy. Talking to other people about this was a good move, especially your parents. However, if it gets really serious, you should see if your state has any cyber-bullying laws. If not, find the next best thing.

[Rehab]

I know there are some dudes out there that can seem determined to be walking, talking arguments, but as long as they're not going into outright bullying territory that starts to turn into abuse, if they don't want to have an even conversation or be friends, an easier way to deal with them than convincing them is not give them much to turn into a disagreement. If somebody says something ridiculous and looks serious about it, saying something along the line "huh, never thought of it that way" or "yeah dude" and looking agreeable usually works to deflate any rising tension for me.

Past history can make even light interaction tense if it got heated enough, to be sure, and that can be hard to get around mentally, but if you're totally nonthreatening to them or the things they say (in whatever weird way they define threatening), they wouldn't have much reason to keep interacting with you. Treating them like a comedy duo might be the best thing for your sanity.

Even if they're actually bullies, in which case they admittedly don't need even a bad reason to go after somebody, the average person like that [assuming they doesn't get physically abusive] tends to get a little bored if they're not getting a reaction to make fun of.

Would you say their harassment is more serious than that?

[Flying Shogi]

We asians work much harder than you americans".

Quite frankly, I don't doubt that they said that since I do know someone who is similar in behaviour and personality. Sometimes I am ashamed to be an Asian as this said person keeps on talking down of other races of people and I have to listen to it.

In my opinion, if they think they're so great, why are they not back in their home country if they think they're so much better than the people that they are around since they don't want to be Americans? They're only big fish in a small pond. I doubt they're the smartest out of the school.

I think you should tell like a school official(like the dean of students and try to work something out) about your problems and work from there. If push comes to shove, just tell them to stop talking to you. There's not much they can do about that since you are entitled to your own space.

[Original Alear]

I don't know what you mean, regarding your inability to leave them be. It sounds like your explicitly stated dislike of them is mostly in the realm of verbal arguments. Why do you need to be in the presence of these arguments, and why does the content of these arguments matter to you? Are you being targeted by arguments (attacks) in situations from which you will not remove yourself from?

By will not, I do not mean you should just remove yourself. I just assume that escape from any two people is probably possible - but not necessarily worthwhile.

And I don't know what you mean by "DO something" regarding the fear that your computer might get hacked by one of these people. Attack or argue with them?

I'm not saying these things as an attack on your conduct, or to suggest other possibilities, but just to explain confusions I think might be important to resolve (unless you've already resolved them yourself).

EDIT-Also I want to second what Lugh said in his last paragraph.

Edited December 7, 2012 by Mouse

[Elieson]

Just say ok.

Nothing frustrates big talking race card players like a failed attempt at scoring a reaction

[Dandragon]

I don't know what you mean, regarding your inability to leave them be. It sounds like your explicitly stated dislike of them is mostly in the realm of verbal arguments. Why do you need to be in the presence of these arguments, and why does the content of these arguments matter to you? Are you being targeted by arguments (attacks) in situations from which you will not remove yourself from?

By will not, I do not mean you should just remove yourself. I just assume that escape from any two people is probably possible - but not necessarily worthwhile.

And I don't know what you mean by "DO something" regarding the fear that your computer might get hacked by one of these people. Attack or argue with them?

I'm not saying these things as an attack on your conduct, or to suggest other possibilities, but just to explain confusions I think might be important to resolve (unless you've already resolved them yourself).

EDIT-Also I want to second what Lugh said in his last paragraph.

bassically, when i'm just minding my own business, one or the other or even both of them are right around the corner and will pull me into a conversation. and when im at home, they message me or call me through skype. I tried unadding them, but then i get the whole "why did you defriend me! i thought we were friends!" i dont really have the courage to say to them "i'm done with you"

as for when i say "DO something" I mean should i try to get some people to help me confront them?

[Flying Shogi]

That is cyber bullying/peer pressure. From what you described, these two are attention whores. I wanted to say that in my previous post but I wasn't sure so I held back. But from what you said, they have nothing better to do. Defriend them/delete them. If they are making you uncomfortabale, tell your teachers or have your parents go to the school and talk to school officials.

They must have absolutely no lives if they are messaging you to corner you into being their friend. In the end, they are trespassing on your privacy if you do not wish to be in contact with them and I think that is a valid enough claim to make to the police if things are progrssively getting worse.

Edited December 8, 2012 by MagicLugh

[Original Alear]

At most, all I would suggest you consider adding, if you've neither considered nor done it, is telling them "Talking with you aggravates me, and for that reason I'm going to refuse conversation in the future." Explain your grievance simply to the toxic characters. That's pretty much the most any person could expect prior to the curt conduct that Elie and others have suggested.

That's just the last point of negotiation I would consider before moving towards either the curt dismissal approach or Lugh's approach (or both). It's not something you should actually feel responsible to do.

Also I'd suggest taking up the CPU security issue with someone here who knows about such things, another CPU forum, or someone you know or is in your community that might be competent with such things.

The basic approach to imminent CPU hacking disaster might be:

-Secure finances.

-Consider alerting other users on your CPU or network that there may be a security issue. In fact, you may want to bring them in on the issue, because if there really is a rational fear of CPU hacking targeted towards your network(s) specifically, it's only fair that they know about it (even if their first instinct is to be angry at you for no reason whatsoever).

-You are probably not a serial killer.

-Because of the above, you're not that bad and people may be willing to forgive you for your private conduct.

-Dealing with damage to your files will probably be aggravating, but you should already have the most important ones backed up already, possibly even printed out if that's possible.

[Kiriane]

Well, everyone seems to have dealt with the question of how one deals with that kind of person. Very few highschoolers can do any significant amount of black hat computer work, so what I would recommend is getting hold of a couple of decent firewalls, regularly scanning your computer, and the other assorted computer safety things like secure passwords. As noted above, make particularly sure on anything to do with finances.

That'll protect you from all but the most elite of black hats, I believe, and their services don't come cheap. The one other potential issue you face is a DDoS attack, and that's grounds for police involvement.

[fuzz94]

Alrighty, so here are a few ideas.

1. Exploit faults, shortcomings or any embarrassing thing they have gone through. (i.e. over weight, bad acne, them being rejected/dumped, them never kissing a girl.) As one who grew up in an environment where we always (jokingly) picked on each other, I know that having something to say back can hit hard.

2. If you really can't find anything true or whatever to dis them on or just dont want to, just slam them with racist jokes in front of a crowd and they'll take it hard. The reason for this is because this is something else I grew up in. Everyone knows what the stereotypes are, and I doubt people make lots of racist jokes. Hit 'em with that and they'll shut up.

3. If you really can't think of anything to them to shut them up, ask him to do it. http://www.youtube.com/user/EpicLLOYD/videos?view=0

This guy actually writes "Dis Raps for Hire." Your story seems fitting, he'll rip those Asian kids to shreds for you

[Hawk King]

What Elie said. Just say "ok" and "yeah, you're right" and then just walk away or ignore them.

[Esau of Isaac]

Be manipulative. Leave yourself seemingly prostrate and defenseless and when they strike with typical bullying tactics make sure it would appear to onlookers to be much worse than it is, ensuring ultimate shame.

No, but really. I'd echo the sentiments from above to speak with them in short clipped tones. Keep doing this for awhile, and over time sever contact with them. They'll find someone else to pester in the meantime, and soon they'll have forgotten about you. If you have to maintain contact with them because they are mutual associates from other friends, then I'd less-jokingly suggest doing something somewhat like the above. Embarrassment and shame are powerful motivating factors.

[Kiriane]

The onlookers aren't guaranteed to sympathise. You're better off not doing that to yourself. (This does tie back to the whole bullying thread in Serious Discussion.)

The things being suggested three posts up are...well, you have to consider the consequences, especially of racist remarks. Suggest taking the curt and frosty approach first, EVEN IF there are mutual friends/associates involved. They can just deal with having you not speaking to each other.

[Bluedoom]

Pfft if you're actually believing these kids when they say they're good at hacking then you'd totally believe me when i say I can kill you telepathically(no I can't sorry :P )

Well what's the worst that can happen if they pull the racist card on you? I don't really know a lot about how racism works where you live so tl;dr

[Esau of Isaac]

The onlookers aren't guaranteed to sympathise.

Rarely will a group of people walk away with good impressions when someone acts like a dick. Even if it's small it builds over time.

[Cain Magnus]

Trust me, man...I know exactly how it feels when you have a friend who has too much of a high opinion of themselves, or think they're the best at everything they do.

Just like many people have stated in this topic, just shrug them off. Since they won't go away apparently, just tune them out. Sometimes, you don't even have to directly respond if they say something that really irritates you. At least convey to them that you were listening. That's all what it boils down to. They want attention. And I know how some say it's best to give it to them straight, but that's not such a good idea. People like that do not know how to react when things like this are pointed out to them. They'll make a big deal/huge scene over it and will never...ever leave it alone. So yeah, just be passive and give the occasional nods and "yeah" or "cool", other things that make you seem interested. They only hurt themselves with this and they'll get a huge reality check when they cross the wrong person. So just don't take anything they say to heart. It's all right.

Someone once told me that this kind of behavior could also stem from jealousy (I'm pretty sure this is commonly known. I just never looked at it that way until recently). They obviously found something about you that they admired so much that they became overly envious. I have a friend who constantly has that, "anything you can do, I can literally do better" attitude towards me. Especially when we talk on Skype. He even went as far as telling me how he could have done better than me when I showed him my recent unloaded video on YouTube, a Tales series combo compilation...which was something merely for fun and not for competition. That was the FIRST thing he addressed, not even giving it a single compliment or didn't even say he liked it or not. Main thing I saw there: jealousy. It's not best to fight with it. Let them have their moment in the spotlight. If you do fight, it'll bring needless drama that you really don't want on your hands. It'll be like going at war.

This hacking threat is nothing to joke around about. Attention seekers/bullies will go through great lengths to prove themselves. Just because they boast doesn't mean they actually don't have some sort of skill in that department. So just take the general advice of this thread: Prepare for anything with the hacking issue and overall just shrug those two pricks off. By the time school's officially over for you all, chances are...you'll never see those idiots again in person.

Edited December 8, 2012 by Magnus Blade

[eclipse]

bassically, when i'm just minding my own business, one or the other or even both of them are right around the corner and will pull me into a conversation. and when im at home, they message me or call me through skype. I tried unadding them, but then i get the whole "why did you defriend me! i thought we were friends!" i dont really have the courage to say to them "i'm done with you"

as for when i say "DO something" I mean should i try to get some people to help me confront them?

Here's your problem. Grow a spine and cut them off. If they retaliate, your next steps are going to your parents (if they're Asian, a nice heart-to-heart between parents might work wonders), then the school administration, and if things get really bad (for example, someone makes a fake Facebook profile and posts all sorts of things to get you in trouble), the police.

[Phoenix Wright]

This is an easy fix, man.

Just stop talking to them. End all contact.

In the same room as you? Put on headphones to make it easier to ignore them. It's difficult to beat them in conventional ways because people like this just love getting a rise out of others. Also, snarky, one-word responses usually gets the other person to shut up.

Edited December 8, 2012 by Phoenix Wright