Physical disability?

[Inactive Account404]

I have Cerebral Palsy and was wondering if there is anyone else here who has to deal with a physical disability. There are no support groups in my town, and I've been a little depressed lately...

[Saint of Games]

One of my old Physics teachers only has one arm. And my mother is completely blind from one eye and can only see 5% from the other.

Does that count?

[Shin]

Yo, I'm not affected by a physical disability, but I'd be more than happy to offer you some support, whether by PM or in this thread.

[Vashiane]

Same. If you ever need me at all, I'll gladly assist you.

I have a health problem myself, so if you need someone to talk to, shoot me a PM any time, okay?

[Espinosa]

I'm into bodybuilding nowadays but I was born with many physical deficiencies that I fear I will never be ultimately able to overcome regardless of how much I push myself.

[Randoman]

The closest thing I have to a physical disability is poor eyesight (though with my glasses it's no problem whatsoever). And although I'm not sure if it runs in the family, my brother had a heavy meiglobin leakage (I think that's what it was) when he started working out at the gym with his friend. He had to be hospitalized to get it cleaned out, and they advised him to stop working out because the next time it happens both of his kidneys would get destroyed from the meiglobin leakage in his body. I hope I don't have that condition as well.

Also, last year from my co-op job, one of the higher ups at my work had an artificial arm (that went all the way up to the shoulder) with a hook hand. He lost it from someone shooting his arm off many years ago. The guy was quite a jolly and friendly person, but I couldn't help but pity him because of what happened to him, especially since it took his good arm he had to learn how to be left handed after the incident.

Feel free to talk to me if you're feeling down.

[MacLovin]

I'd be happy to offer support, and I don't know if shitty eyesight and requiring hearing aids counts as physical disabilities!.

[eclipse]

I have a host of allergies, my eyes are really bad, and I need to make Yet Another Doctor Appointment to figure out why I'm always so light-headed/somewhat photophobic. If you can't find a RL support group, poke around on the 'Net. You are NOT the only one with cerebral palsy!

[Phoenix Wright]

Not major ones. Up until about 14 I went to the hospital nearly twice a year for asthma treatment--that sucked quite a bit.

Also, due to being hit by a small pickup truck, I now have a titanium rod in my right femur, and although it feels mostly normal, it's certainly not as strong or as flexible.

Edited May 31, 2013 by Phoenix Wright

[Knife]

I believe it's spelled dis-ABILITIES.

No, I don't have any but two of my siblings are autistic so I'm somewhat sensitive to this.

[Inactive Account404]

deleted

Edited January 11, 2020 by Inactive Account404

[Espinosa]

I recently visited a doctor who went on about how all of my health problems are a result of unfulfilled promises from my previous reincarnation. :erk:

[dondon151]

yeah, for some reason it really bothers me that some healthcare practitioners are that religious. it's fine to believe, but it's not fine when it encroaches on the science in the field.

how to treat a disabled person is something that, to me, is perpetually capable of causing offense. you are i are necessarily inequal in the strictest sense of the term. so it would be mildly offensive if i pretended that you were capable of everything that i was capable of (since i am basically implying that it is your fault if you can't do something, which is clearly false). yet it is also against etiquette for me to assume that i am inequal in such a manner, because that is supposedly prejudiced.

so i am always uncomfortable in these situations.

Edited May 31, 2013 by dondon151

[Phoenix Wright]

Thanks for the offered support everyone!

I typically try to be positive about my cerebral palsy, but lately I've been depressed about it. Sometimes, its not the cerebral palsy itself that bothers me, but the way some people treat me.

I feel criticized and judged by people because I can't do everything a "normal" person can. For example, I don't have a driver's liscense, and I use public transportation. Well, I had one lady ( who barely even knows me) from my church tell me that she knew I could learn to drive. I had another person state that "If I came this far, I should be able to learn to drive." Some people seem to think that a person with a disability simply lacks the will to overcome it. I even had a relative try to tell me I should be able to crochet (I tried it once and I lack the dexterity for it).

Then there's the whole "faith healing" thing (yes, I'm a Christian, but I don't believe that a person is disabled because he did something wrong, or doesn't have enough faith).

Is it that big of a deal that I can't do everything that others are doing? I'm tired of feeling embarrassed of my limitations, and feeling like I am a failure because I can't completely overcome every limitation.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I admit I was a little hesitant about creating this thread because I didn't want to be yet another person whining about her life on the internet, and I realize that everyone has his own unique problems to deal with.

Depending on their respective tones, I'd say that could also mean that they support and believe in you.

[Inactive Account404]

I guess my question is, at what point does a person simply need to accept a limitation, and not worry about overcoming every single problem?

Edited May 30, 2014 by Silver Pegasus

[Saint of Games]

Now I am reminded of a Cracked article I read once:http://www.cracked.com/article_20082_6-insane-stereotypes-that-movies-cant-seem-to-get-over.html

Here is the relevant part in the second page.

[

]

#2. Anything (Including Death) Is Better Than Being Disabled

In movie universes, there's two ways to get disabled: Either you get a sweet superpower out of it, like Daredevil, or it makes you absolutely miserable for the rest of your life. One of the most infamous examples is Million Dollar Baby, which ends with (spoilers) the protagonist becoming a quadriplegic and Clint Eastwood euthanizing her because, you know, what's the point of living like that? Never mind the fact that millions of people do just that every day.

Man, Clint Eastwood really hates chairs.

But this also manifests in subtler ways: Take the character of John Locke in Lost, a paraplegic who would rather stay on a remote island filled with smoke monsters, displaced fauna and all sorts of crazy bullshit because he can walk there, which many actual paraplegics found offensive. Something similar happens in Avatar, where the paraplegic protagonist leaves his entire life behind and travels across the universe to get a shot at walking again in the body of a blue alien. There may be other reasons why he made that decision, but they don't really tell us because "he can't walk" is enough.

"Actually, I just wanted a couple of extra inches down there."

Lots of times, the disability exists as something for the characters to overcome and show that they've changed: In The Goonies, when Mikey throws away his inhaler, we're supposed to understand that he's a stronger person for not needing it. What it's really showing is that Mikey is going to end up in the hospital if he doesn't get a replacement soon, because asthma is a goddamn medical condition. The people still using their inhalers aren't doing it because they're not brave enough to have their Mikey moment.

So What's the Deal?

Showing someone using sheer willpower to overcome something is a great character arc, and Hollywood applies that to everything, from learning kung fu despite being an overweight panda to "beating" a real-world disability. The problem is, this arc has some tragic implications for the real-world people who come out with the message that they are "too weak" to overcome their disabilities.

"The fact that your spine isn't regenerating says a lot about your supposed 'bravery,' Timmy."

The result is that moviegoers think that disabilities are way worse than they actually are, and filmmakers have to cater to that: For example, while filming an episode of Dollhouse where Eliza Dushku was blind, the producers brought in an actual blind woman to show the actress how to move and get around, but the result was that "she didn't look blind," and they had to make her act clumsier so the audience would buy it.

In the end, they just showed her a bunch of Mr. Magoo episodes.

Even in Avatar, real paraplegics thought that Sam Worthington's character was making way too much effort transferring from his chair, but that's the way we're used to seeing it in movies. It's a vicious cycle, and it isn't going to stop until either Hollywood wises up or people with disabilities stop living happy, fulfilling lives.

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_20082_6-insane-stereotypes-that-movies-cant-seem-to-get-over_p2.html#ixzz2UxutDxTA

[

]

[Inactive Account404]

Now I am reminded of a Cracked article I read once:http://www.cracked.com/article_20082_6-insane-stereotypes-that-movies-cant-seem-to-get-over.html

Thanks for sharing that. :)

[Steampunk]

There are always going to be people who don't really understand your challenges, though you might try to help educate friends and family if you feel they are criticizing you unfairly for things that are simply not realistic given your physical situation. Get them some books on the condition or simply tell them your experiences. A person cannot simply look at someone and know these things unless they've spent a good deal of time studying it or have lived it themselves. Also, they may be trying to encourage you, as said earlier. Don't assume that, just because they are pushing for you to go beyond your capabilities and to never be satisfied with the status quo, that there is any maliciousness or ugliness behind it. Unfortunately, as cliche as it sounds, the only way you can grow and evolve as a person is to push yourself and go outside your comfort zone.

Best of luck to you. I don't have experience with physical disabilities, but I'm familiar with these types of challenges with mental disabilities.

[MacLovin]

it's not easy seeing the world through the shoes of others.

Empathy and sympathy are good, but sometimes others just don't know what it's like to be in your place.

Besides, there are three things that are nice to remember.

-Life is always worth living, just to see the wonders.

-Human beings are inherantly good natured and enjoy helping out.

-Enjoying life is great, enjoying it alongside others is probobly the best thing possible.

Edited June 1, 2013 by Aquaman

[Green Poet]

I guess my question is, at what point does a person simply need to accept a limitation, and not worry about overcoming every single problem?

Don't push yourself if it's dangerous; that's the first rule of dealing with physical disabilities. Naturally, there's no need to solve "every single problem," as not everything is essential. But if your disability prevents you from doing something that's crucial to your health or prosperity, then of course you'll want to ask your physician to see if there's anything that can be done. In short, the "if there's a will, there's a way" mindset can't apply to everything with you, but you should try to make the circumstances as comfortable as possible. But that's just my view, and a conservative outlook may not apply to your situation.

This might explain it better. One of my friends had to amputate his left hand per some medical condition, and was offered a choice of prosthetic hands as a replacement. The problem was that the intuitive replacement with five fingers was much more high-maintenance, heavier and generally more obstructive, than a two-fingered claw sort of replacement that was purportedly much more convenient. I suppose the dilemma here resembles your question in that he would have to choose between limiting himself or not, which would come with according levels of stress for the rest of his life.

Clearly there's no "best answer" for this scenario, much in the same way as there's no way for anyone other than you to determine the best lifestyle for yourself.

[Life]

You have cerebral palsey. That means that if people don't understand that you spend more effort than they do to breathe in oxygen, they're not deserving of that oxygen.

Religious Christians (which sounds like an oxymoron) don't get it. It's not you, it's them. According to them, just faith in Jesus allows you to overcome anything and if it's something serious, you deserve that shit and hell to boot. At least Jews and Muslims (talking about the religious ones here) are smarter than that; it's a trial that Hashem/Allah wants you to overcome because you can. Which is still retarded if you ask me.

Point is, f*** what the people at your church say.

Edited June 3, 2013 by eCut
Too many f bombs. A little cursing is fine but don't go overboard with it.

[Mangs]

I actually dated a girl that had the same thing, but only slightly in her left leg. You couldn’t see it at all; I just noticed she walked a little bit strangely at times. She was very cute though, and never seemed bothered by it, but then again she was kinda lucky that only her left leg was affected I suppose.

[Randoman]

I don't really know what to tell you. Well, don't go taking those people's words too deeply and don't let them hurt you, especially if they're saying it in an encouraging tone. I doubt they'd tell you those things just to guilt you into doing better, especially when you use crutches quite a lot to get around, making it evident that your condition is quite serious.

How have people reacted when you explain to them that cerebral palsy can never be overcome? Educating them on your situation will hopefully have them be more understanding of it. I can understand what it must be like for people to expect more of you when your condition holds you back, and it must really hurt because no amount of willpower or strength can help you overcome it, and you feel so powerless as a result. Still, don't ever be ashamed of what you are capable of. Keep giving your best without pushing boundaries that'll risk hurting you or others, and know in your heart that no matter what others may think, you're truly giving it your best and what you feel and know in your heart is much more important than what others may think, because they're not you and they'll never be able to know your struggles that you overcome.

You have cerebral palsey. That means that if people don't understand that you spend more effort than they do to breathe in oxygen, they're not deserving of that oxygen.

Religious Christians (which sounds like an oxymoron) don't get it. It's not you, it's them. According to them, just faith in Jesus allows you to overcome anything and if it's something serious, you deserve that shit and hell to boot. At least Jews and Muslims (talking about the religious ones here) are smarter than that; it's a trial that Hashem/Allah wants you to overcome because you can. Which is still retarded if you ask me.

Keep in mind that at least less than two fifths of the Christian population actually think this. I actually haven't even heard of or known any Christians that actually think like this, which is a really harsh mindset that violates many Christian beliefs in itself (not judging others, emphasizing the flaws of others, not being compassionate with their words). That logic is just, ugh, how could they believe that everything bad is a punishment? That's just beyond paranoid and that depicts God as a really harsh and judgemental person, when Christianity depicts him otherwise.

[Original Alear]

I guess my question is, at what point does a person simply need to accept a limitation, and not worry about overcoming every single problem?

It seems to me like this depends a lot on the person in question. For you, I'd suggest that (for example) if driving is something you have serious problems with trying to do, and you don't get a great deal of reward out of it, then maybe it isn't worth the time to learn - especially if public transit is servicable enough for your needs.

I remember, something like a couple years ago now, I wanted to get into driving but I was a bit too afraid behind the wheel to get into it. I've been trying again recently and doing a lot better - sometimes these things take time, too.

[Inactive Account404]

Thanks for all the encouraging comments everyone!