Anacybele Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 My grandma... Is about to pass away. I-I'm really upset... She had cancer and chemotherapy killed it, but it came back (I feared it would... Just somehow, I feared, but hoped I'd be wrong...) and the chemo isn't working anymore. She only has months to live... I was really close to my grandma, she was like a heroine to me. I'll probably visit my dad in Florida to help me deal with this, but I've never had to go through this experience before. I knew I would eventually, but did the first loved one to go have to be someone I'm THIS close to? Behind my mom, my grandma is my closest family member... I-I need advice... Or something. Someone that's gone through a similar situation before might have tips? ;_; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrostyFireMage Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 All of my grandparents are dead. I didn't really cry until the situation hit me a few weeks later. Make sure to spend a lot of time with her and forge new memories so you don't have any regrets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyron Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 there really isnt much you can do other than spend lots of time with your grand mother, thats about all the advice i can give Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 But I can't spend anymore time with her. She lives several states away. I did get to see her a couple more times over the summer though... This is one of the really sad things... I can't see her again... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peppy Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 (edited) all the grandparents i had were gone by the time i was 10 years old... i didn't really know them that well and i didn't feel too bad but i kind of wish i did get to know them well...can you contact her in any way? Edited September 28, 2013 by Peppy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkMage Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 I'm so sorry to hear this :( It's never nice when a close loved one passes away or is heading that way :( My advice would be to perhaps start writing letters to her, and try and get her to reply to you- this'll mean you're keeping in contact and at the same time you're gonna be getting memories of her that you can keep and look at when you're missing her or feeling lonely. I bet you guys could try and manage at least one reply a week- with her only a few states away the mail shouldn't take too long! :) My thoughts will be with both of you <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandragon Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Like Peppy asked, can you contact her? That last thing you want your grandparent to think is that they are not loved. Send her letters telling her you love her. Send her happy pictures. Anything like that could lift her spirits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 I don't know if I can contact her either. My aunt was the one that told us of the news, so my grandma might be too sick to even use her phone... And my grandma definitely knows I love her. I've told her myself how much I admire her and how strong I thought she was... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peppy Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Well, if you don't know, try to see if you can. At this point, it's definitely worth a shot... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZemZem Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 I agree with what's been said. Just...try to contact her... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soledai Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 (edited) I know your pain, this literally just happened to me, they said my grandma had 2 weeks, she passed in just mere days... I can only add on with the contact her however you can messages, but I'll say this, as long as you let her know you love her, at least I'll be proud... mine, she was with me before she was taken to the hospital, and I didn't tell her, now I regret not ever saying it, it's the one thing I regret in my 25 years on this earth... but I won't digress, as long as your grandma knows your feelings, I think it'll be alright, I hope you get through this okay Edited September 28, 2013 by Soledai Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 (edited) I'll try calling her then sometime. My mom's about to lay down though and I don't actually have my grandma's cell number in my phone. I know her home phone, but my mom said she sleeps a lot because her medications make her sleepy (they're for pain relief, so at least she's going to have a painless passing...). I'd hate to keep trying and end up not getting to talk because she was always sleeping when I called... I just hope...she can make it to her birthday...in December... Edited September 28, 2013 by Anacybele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ema Skye Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Go see her. If you need money, I'm sure your parents can help. You're definitely not the only one who wants to see her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 I just said, I doubt that I'll be able to. I don't think any of us have the money right now. If we could, I would go see her one last time, but... Calling her is the best I can do, unfortunately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silver Lightning Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 I know you feel. My uncle is dying from a disease in his brain, and he has less than a few months to live, but the worst part is that he's lost so much of his faculties. He can't move, eat, or do anything without assistance; he can't even speak anymore and he doesn't seem to recognize me anymore either....when he's gone, it will be without any memories of his loved ones. It kills me to think of it. So yeah, make sure you do everything you can to spend any time possible with her; if you can't, contact her as much as possible and let her know that she is loved and will be remembered fondly. Nothing will be too small a gesture to her, I'm sure. I hope her last days will be peaceful and filled with happiness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 I see... Oh yes, I want to contact her at least a few more times... As I said, she knows she's loved though. And yes, I hope her last days are happy too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soledai Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 I like how calm you are, I didn't even get a chance to take in the situation before the worst had happened, so don't mind me as I say, keep those spirits up one way or another, (I can't suggest you do what I did >_<) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 Well, I don't see how I can be anything but calm and really really sad... But I'll try to keep my spirits up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted35362 Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 ana don't take this the wrong way, but...are you religious? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soledai Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 (edited) I say that because I knew some quite leveled-headed people who didn't react... calmly in that situation, but you've got more time than I did, so I suppose it's slightly different Edited September 28, 2013 by Soledai Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 Well, I don't really have any idea HOW long she has to live, I'm just guessing a few months or so because she's at home and such, not laying in a hospital bed or anything... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Fine, you get a story out of me. My grandfather got cancer, and he was sick for a while. Normally, I went up to see him every other weekend. One day, I sensed that things were. . .different. I just had a feeling that he wouldn't be around much longer, but at the same time, I didn't want to go. The next morning, my grandmother called my mom to tell her that grandpa had passed away. I don't regret skipping that weekend, because I don't think grandpa would've wanted my last memories of him being unable to stand. Instead, when I think of grandpa, I think of the man who'd tend his own yard, climb trees well after retirement age, and give me a strong hug before I'd leave. I knew that he was going to die long before he did, so I made sure to wrap up everything before then. If you can get to your grandmother, you can, and if you can't, you can't. You have 20+ years of memories with her, and I'm sure that she knows that you loved her dearly. Rather than reflecting on that one moment you missed, remember all of those other moments that made her your heroine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 (edited) Yeah, I see what you mean. My grandmother is the woman that mowed her own lawns in her old age, beat a lot of cancer before, and walked mountains and giant palace gardens with a broken foot. I do have a lot of memories with her, but thinking of them only makes me cry more... But maybe thinking of how strong a woman she was instead might help... Edited September 28, 2013 by Anacybele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soledai Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 IS... I wanna say, save the 'was' for after that dreaded day comes and goes, but OT a little, your grandma sounds like a mighty impressive individual Eclipse's story makes me feel good... and sad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anacybele Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 Yes, she was. You can see why she's my hero. She also ran a daycare all by herself pretty much, planted everything that's in her yard, and did dancing past her fifties. She's only 64 or so this year... My other grandma, my dad's mother? She's at least 80 now, I'm guessing. I expected she'd kick the bucket first... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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