Getting a sex change.

[Rehab]

"unomfortable"

orz

[Esau of Isaac]

second, there isn't much reason to not want to make the change when you spend your entire life hating your own body. it's not like this was an overnight deal.

Because trying to make a change doesn't necessitate the changes you wish being made. One may not become what they want to, and even if they do they may be shunned by people they hold dear. It's very easy to scoff and say "Then these people aren't worth it," but when part of the reasoning to transition is to fit in more comfortably...

[Garland Chaos]

A topic I've wished to make for a while, but only now managed up the courage to make.

I wish to get a sex change in the future.

I am a girl by heart, but am a man in body.

That is all I will say on that matter.

I wish to be by body and heart, a girl.

I wish to know the cost it would take for me to be able to do this, and also the possible dangers and risks of doing so.

That is all.

Wow, J.

I...

...I don't know what to say.

[BluBlaDe]

Why do you want to get a sex change? Is it because you hate everything about men/manliness ? Maybe you were brainwashed to think that only men are evil and that everything feminine is perfect. It's not the case. There's good in both manliness and feminity.

A girl by heart? It's hard to know how girl thinks when you aren't a girl. You may think girls are like that and that but you don't know for sure except if you take tons of androgen.

Anyway the ''dangers'' :

If my girlfriend used to be a man I would never talk to her ever again and I'm pretty sure 70 % or so men would do just the same. Just... no. I don't think I need to explain why. So if you wanted to have a boyfriend or something you'll have to lie to him forever. Or maybe pick someone really accepting and probably bisexual.

Pretty sure depending on your parents they may disown you, especially dad. Or maybe dad isn't there?

You'd basically have to start a new life and if someone ever found out you were a man before I'm pretty sure they would avoid you.

[deleted35362]

If my girlfriend used to be a man I would never talk to her ever again and I'm pretty sure 70 % or so men would do just the same. Just... no. I don't think I need to explain why.

psssst...yes you dooo need to explaaain.

[Phoenix Wright]

because those kinds of people would find it too weird. and i'll admit, most men today probably do feel that way. transgender and transexual rights are still probably quite a ways off. nothing that growth over time won't fix, though.

[peener weener]

Why do you want to get a sex change? Is it because you hate everything about men/manliness ? Maybe you were brainwashed to think that only men are evil and that everything feminine is perfect. It's not the case. There's good in both manliness and feminity.

A girl by heart? It's hard to know how girl thinks when you aren't a girl. You may think girls are like that and that but you don't know for sure except if you take tons of androgen.

Anyway the ''dangers'' :

If my girlfriend used to be a man I would never talk to her ever again and I'm pretty sure 70 % or so men would do just the same. Just... no. I don't think I need to explain why. So if you wanted to have a boyfriend or something you'll have to lie to him forever. Or maybe pick someone really accepting and probably bisexual.

Pretty sure depending on your parents they may disown you, especially dad. Or maybe dad isn't there?

You'd basically have to start a new life and if someone ever found out you were a man before I'm pretty sure they would avoid you.

not like you'd ever have a girlfriend lol

[shadykid]

Why do you want to get a sex change? Is it because you hate everything about men/manliness ? Maybe you were brainwashed to think that only men are evil and that everything feminine is perfect. It's not the case. There's good in both manliness and feminity.

A girl by heart? It's hard to know how girl thinks when you aren't a girl. You may think girls are like that and that but you don't know for sure except if you take tons of androgen.

Anyway the ''dangers'' :

If my girlfriend used to be a man I would never talk to her ever again and I'm pretty sure 70 % or so men would do just the same. Just... no. I don't think I need to explain why. So if you wanted to have a boyfriend or something you'll have to lie to him forever. Or maybe pick someone really accepting and probably bisexual.

Pretty sure depending on your parents they may disown you, especially dad. Or maybe dad isn't there?

You'd basically have to start a new life and if someone ever found out you were a man before I'm pretty sure they would avoid you.

I was about to say I was shocked we didn't have this kind of response yet!

Edited November 2, 2013 by shadykid

[deleted35362]

because those kinds of people would find it too weird. and i'll admit, most men today probably do feel that way. transgender and transexual rights are still probably quite a ways off. nothing that growth over time won't fix, though.

no, i know that. i mean, why would they find it weird? if he's one of the people who thinks that way i'd like to know why.

[Percivalé]

If my girlfriend used to be a man I would never talk to her ever again and I'm pretty sure 70 % or so men would do just the same. Just... no. I don't think I need to explain why. So if you wanted to have a boyfriend or something you'll have to lie to him forever. Or maybe pick someone really accepting and probably bisexual.

Noooooooo no nononono noooo. Nooooooooooo. Relationships are about honesty and trust, and if you have to keep being trans* a secret to your significant other for fear of their reaction then that's a huge red flag. Also that's super transphobic what the fuck.

On the subject of actual advice, I'm afraid I don't have medical advice but I am transgendered (right now I identify as agender but more masculine than feminine) and as another trans* individual I want to say that you should make the right decision for YOU. There will be transphobic assholes and that's awful but doing what is best for YOUR well-being and identity is the most important thing.

Edited November 2, 2013 by The Best SK

[deleted35362]

Noooooooo no nononono noooo. Nooooooooooo. Relationships are about honesty and trust, and if you have to keep being trans* a secret to your significant other for fear of their reaction then that's a huge red flag. Also that's super transphobic what the fuck.

i think blublade was saying that to warn shinki that they would have a much more difficult time finding anyone to develop a relationship with, which is sad but true. a gay man might actually have an easier time than a transsexual individual, but don't quote me on that...

[Percivalé]

That might be true because people are fucking terrible, but a trans* person should never have to keep that a secret from their partner. I just found the way he worded that completely awful.

Edited November 2, 2013 by The Best SK

[Florete]

i think blublade was saying that to warn shinki that they would have a much more difficult time finding anyone to develop a relationship with, which is sad but true. a gay man might actually have an easier time than a transsexual individual, but don't quote me on that...

This is the truth. BluBlaDe's post was harsh but that's the reality of the situation. Transphobic? Yeah, but that's how things are gonna be (note that the post itself wasn't transphobic, it was warning about it).

It's nice that people here aren't discriminatory and instead very supportive, but just saying "do what feels right for you" isn't the greatest advice. You (Shinki) will be judged and things will end up very difficult at times. If you're going to go through with this decision - which I am not saying is wrong at all - you need to be prepared for what comes after: the things you'll face from society at large.

[Percivalé]

Just want to make it clear what about his post I found transphobic:

If my girlfriend used to be a man I would never talk to her ever again

this is transphobic.

also honestly I'd rather live the way I feel I was meant to live and be ostracized for it than have to keep from doing what I KNOW in my entire soul and body is right for me because society is terrible

Edited November 2, 2013 by The Best SK

[Narga_Rocks]

Just want to make it clear what about his post I found transphobic:

this is transphobic.

also honestly I'd rather live the way I feel I was meant to live and be ostracized for it than have to keep from doing what I KNOW in my entire soul and body is right for me because society is terrible

Which part is transphobic? Dumping her or never speaking to her afterwards? If you mean the former, a guy who sees himself as straight not wanting to date a person who was born a male is somehow transphobic? Now, I will definitely grant you that the whole "I'll never speak to you ever because you changed your gender" I can see as potentially transphobic, but certainly that's a personal choice and broadcasting it is not something that should be censored.

[Percivalé]

It's just the way he worded his post, there would have been a lot more tactful ways to say what he said and I dunno. If your girlfriend told you they used to be a man, what difference does it make? If you identify as female you are female and this is what I'm talking about, it's transphobic because it shouldn't MATTER. even then, not talking to her anymore seems a little harsh. if you don't want to date her anymore then okay fine, that is your personal choice, but sheesh.

***I'm not saying more on this or the thread will be derailed and my mood isn't exactly the best and I don't want to start a huge fight. if you want to talk to me about this please bring it to me privately.

Edited November 2, 2013 by The Best SK

[Loki Laufeyson]

The sexes literally have some differences between them in brain structure, though, and expect different levels/kinds of hormones for some processes. People can literally be born with a brain that expects female hormonal processes, and yet get a body that is physically male, and which gives hormonal feedback that really doesn't fit the brain. These people can get basically phantom limb syndrome but with sex organs, and a bunch of other nasty shit, which is all different on a fundamental level from, for lack of a better way to put it, the average identity crisis, and/or just feeling like one differs from the stereotypes societies give people about their gender(s).

I know someone who was born intersexed and she has some...issues...both biologically and psychologically. Only she and maybe her doctors know for certain if her brain is more "female" or not. I do know she has a female biological function (such as menstruation) that tends to run awry with other parts of her. Its a raw deal. For her, it goes much deeper than identity crisis. She does have some serious issues with trust and self esteem as well. :(

As for the OP, i do think that perhaps trying hormonal treatments first before jumping to reassessment surgery could be a good idea. Either way, consulting a doctor on the subject is probably the best course of action right now. If the OP is not yet fully developed, issues could arise. It seems the OP is aware of the great risks involved. (and they are vast and many)

you need to be prepared for what comes after: the things you'll face from society at large.

There is also this. It may be incredibly difficult to live as a female after all is said and done because of how the world views transgender. There are some strides being taken for transgender rights, but its baby steps still. Good luck, OP.

[Redwall]

It's just the way he worded his post, there would have been a lot more tactful ways to say what he said and I dunno. If your girlfriend told you they used to be a man, what difference does it make? If you identify as female you are female and this is what I'm talking about, it's transphobic because it shouldn't MATTER. even then, not talking to her anymore seems a little harsh. if you don't want to date her anymore then okay fine, that is your personal choice, but sheesh.

***I'm not saying more on this or the thread will be derailed and my mood isn't exactly the best and I don't want to start a huge fight. if you want to talk to me about this please bring it to me privately.

Well, for many people, intercourse plays a non-trivial role in the quality of the relationship. If person A is turned off by the realization that their partner was born with different body parts than expected, then I don't think it would be trans-phobic to simply say "OK, the sex just became less appealing to me, and I no longer wish to continue this relationship for that reason." I agree that blublade's post was trans-phobic, though.

Going back to the OP: talk to professionals and friends and family.

[Chiki]

And there's the issue of having children which is maybe the most important thing in a serious relationship...

[Narga_Rocks]

And there's the issue of having children which is maybe the most important thing in a serious relationship...

To like 90% of the people, I suppose. Some people just don't want kids or are willing to give it up if they love the person enough. I know some people will say "just adopt if you really want kids" but to many people they want their own flesh and blood for various reasons.

[deleted35362]

That might be true because people are fucking terrible, but a trans* person should never have to keep that a secret from their partner. I just found the way he worded that completely awful.

it isn't just that...i mean...the thing about gay people is that they can go out and try to find other gay people or bisexuals. transsexuals, though...they have the issue where they were born men, are now women, and likely want men. now i think that the men that they would go after or the men that would come to them(and "she" probably considers) are probably gonna be straight most of the time. then they actually have to go and tell them about how they were born males and all that and probably have to see the look of disappointment in the subject...it's just not as simple. it's a mess.

as with a connection with a person, that's what i believe a relationship is...though even though i'm open minded enough to not even care what a girl has down there(i'm genderless anyway)...hypothetically, if i was in a relationship with someone and one day they were suddenly a gruff hairy rugged man...i just don't think i could hold a romantic relationship with them anymore. i wouldn't cut them out of my life beacuse of course i like who they are, but...yes.

i'm no vain person(except towards myself) but with how someone like me feel about this matter does kind of illustrate the dynamic of other people's reactions to these scenarios just a tad, or so i believe.

[Balcerzak]

it isn't just that...i mean...the thing about gay people is that they can go out and try to find other gay people or bisexuals. transsexuals, though...they have the issue where they were born men, are now women, and likely want men. now i think that the men that they would go after or the men that would come to them(and "she" probably considers) are probably gonna be straight most of the time. then they actually have to go and tell them about how they were born males and all that and probably have to see the look of disappointment in the subject...it's just not as simple. it's a mess.

as with a connection with a person, that's what i believe a relationship is...though even though i'm open minded enough to not even care what a girl has down there(i'm genderless anyway)...hypothetically, if i was in a relationship with someone and one day they were suddenly a gruff hairy rugged man...i just don't think i could hold a romantic relationship with them anymore. i wouldn't cut them out of my life beacuse of course i like who they are, but...yes.

i'm no vain person(except towards myself) but with how someone like me feel about this matter does kind of illustrate the dynamic of other people's reactions to these scenarios just a tad, or so i believe.

*emphasis mine

Gender identity and sexual orientation are completely different. I knew a m->f trans who was sexually attracted to females. Would that make her gay? Conversely, would she have been gay if she was attracted to men? It's a sticky wicket. With ordinary homosexuals (I do not mean this disparagingly or otherwise) already fighting for their rights in an uphill battle, the plight of transpeople is just that much more frightening to imagine.

Also, forgive me if I'm not using the accepted trans community terms, it's been awhile, and I'm honestly not familiar with them.

[Xinnidy]

As somebody that follows the same road, I suppose it's no surprise that I wish you the best of luck and hope you'll find a greater, inner sense of peace much like I did with this. You're certainly not going to be accepted by some, it's a topic where people are far more supportive on the internet than the real world, or I find from my personal experience. I'm assuming you have some familiar or friend's support and don't have the same troubles I do in finding a psychiatrist alone and start step one. It tends to really help. And, as to quote Balcerzak in a sense, you should look for professional guidance first and foremost, to get anything started.

Other than cheers and moral support in the way of words, I'm unfortunately unable to help with any kind of indications. I just wish you the best of luck.

[deleted35362]

Gender identity and sexual orientation are completely different.

oh absolutely. i know the op of this thread, and she's bisexual. i was just trying to be general about it because well cmon, i'm clearly not a very credible source i'm just trying to dump my own understanding

[eclipse]

Contact your local organization that handles such things (LGBT, for example) for more information. . .or anyone else that's more qualified to comment on this than some strangers over the Internet!