Do you respect your parents?

[FrostyFireMage]

I honestly feel nothing but indifference and contempt towards my dad. He's childish yet old enough to be my grandad. As such, he is old-fashioned, homophobic and racist. He's really touchy and nags at me all the time, and loses his temper whenever I argue back. I'm embarrassed to be seen in public with him because he has no class whatsoever. He never really tried or made an effort to get to know me because he spent almost every day working as a coal miner. Basically, I view him as an annoying short old man who just so happens to live with me and not as a role model.

To be fair, he did spend some of his childhood in a nuthouse due to his epilepsy, so I can't exactly blame him for the way he acts. <<

I have a far better affinity with my mother, although I do gripe at her from time to time due to invading my personal space and for not exactly giving me high standards to live up to.

[Integrity]

Both of them thoroughly. I strictly respect my dad more than my mother, but that's because my dad is an unbelievable person. I love my mother though, God bless her forever.

EDIT: aw cock this is sd

Edited November 22, 2013 by Integrity

[dondon151]

to some extent, you have to respect your parents - not because it's a hard and fast rule or it's a good thing to do, but because you're so much better off than they are. in the case of your dad, it is excusable somewhat that he is homophobic and racist, because it wasn't until very recently that equality of homosexuals and racial minorities was socially acceptable. it would be much more respectable if he weren't like that, but you have to consider the circumstances of his environment.

i mean, complaining that your parents invade your "personal space" too much and using that to justify a lack of respect towards them simply reeks of first world problems.

that said, they don't automatically deserve respect. but regarding the OP, it doesn't seem like either of your parents are outright horrible people; they are just victims of circumstance.

Edited November 22, 2013 by dondon151

[Lord of Gabriel Knight]

I respect my dad like, 10% because he wasn't in my life for 10 years, but he recently made contact with me. He's cool and stuff (like an okay stranger).

I respect my mom like 50% because even though she sacrificed a lot to raise my and my siblings mostly by herself, she's still a pushy, abusive bitch. She's intelligent, but also stupid and reckless with money. She's 100% religious and has some archaic points and views (not to mention being a huge fucking hypocrite). I love her like the world, but I can also admit to her many, many faults.

[Espinosa]

They don't inform me too much about their long lives, which is regrettable, but I have more than enough reasons to respect both of them.

[Djeets]

both of my mother and father always/usually berates me for not "giving them love when they already gave all their love to me" whanever i screw up and demands me to be a 100%, i can't really sure if i respect them that much, i mean, just one slight of rebel (from sarcasm or something), and they start to threaten me, and labels me a very damnable kid, and one mistake, they said i am a rebelling towards m parents..

i'm not sure if i even love them, the moment i would care/cry for them would be probably on their death, the rest, i don't pretty much shows love to them, yeah, i do respect them,but it's just that they were too annoying that they always get on my nerve before i can understand/respect them..

i feel...i need to respect them more..

Edited November 22, 2013 by Leap

[Nobody]

Of course I do. They were great parents and gave me anything I ever wanted.

If anything, I was too spoiled.

Edited November 22, 2013 by Nobody

[Silver Lightning]

I don't respect my dad one bit; I hate him for committing adultery against my mom and running out on our family when I was at the tender age of six and my youngest brother was a new born. Since then its been his duty in life to make my mom's life a living hell, with all of the custody battles over us and everything my mom has sacrificed over the years to keep us with her. The only reason I've been able to leave his house at all for 2 years is because I'm over eighteen and graduated from High School; haven't seen him since, and I hope to God I never see that manipulative poisonous bastard again. He's ruined my life long enough.

Conversely, I have all the respect in the world for my mom; for doing everything she could for us as we grew up and not letting us go when it would've been much easier and less painful for her to do so. Sometimes I give her a hard time cuz she's my mom, and everyone fights with their mom over things, but I have nothing but the greatest esteem and love for her, even if she is an insufferable know-it-all sometimes. Best mother I could have ever asked for to make up for the ass of a father I ended up with.

[Flying Shogi]

They do not deserve my respect. They need to learn how to respect other people first then they'll get some from me.

[Chiki]

that said, they don't automatically deserve respect. but regarding the OP, it doesn't seem like either of your parents are outright horrible people; they are just victims of circumstance.

Every bad person is a victim of circumstance, whether it be biological or environmental. It's not a sensical statement to make.

[dondon151]

of course it's a sensible statement to make. that would be like saying that i don't respect thomas jefferson because he owned slaves. circumstance doesn't excuse this fact entirely, but you have to evaluate a person in the context of his environment, otherwise the evaluation is useless.

[MacLovin]

Of course!

You can't take current standards and judge the past with said standards.

[Chiki]

of course it's a sensible statement to make. that would be like saying that i don't respect thomas jefferson because he owned slaves. circumstance doesn't excuse this fact entirely, but you have to evaluate a person in the context of his environment, otherwise the evaluation is useless.

You don't understand why I said it's not sensical. I have no problem with excusing a person for their circumstances, but you can't just excuse a person for "circumstances" and not excuse, say, a serial killer for being born into an abusive family. Or Hitler for being born a sociopath. You need to be consistent.

[Nobody]

You don't understand why I said it's not sensical. I have no problem with excusing a person for their circumstances, but you can't just excuse a person for "circumstances" and not excuse, say, a serial killer for being born into an abusive family. Or Hitler for being born a sociopath. You need to be consistent.

Well, I'm neutral in this discussion, but I think you might have missed his point. Being a sociopath or a murderer have never been accepted behaviors in society. Being racist, sexist or a homophobic (sadly) used to be accepted behaviors.

Edited November 22, 2013 by Nobody

[eclipse]

I'm older than most of you, and I make it a point to see each of my parents once a week. I think that should speak for itself.

[Phoenix Wright]

Both of them thoroughly. I strictly respect my dad more than my mother, but that's because my dad is an unbelievable person. I love my mother though, God bless her forever.

EDIT: aw cock this is sd

all boards are shit boards, breh.

my dad passed when i was 8, and even though i don't know much about him, aside from my memories and a few things i've been told, i still love and respect him greatly. no man or woman is without their personal strife, and because of this i can't hold contempt for him. my old man went through a lot and made poor choices sometimes, but he showed genuine love towards us (ie, family), and was simply a great dude.

my mother is one of the strongest women on this planet. we "clash" sometimes, like any parent-child relationship would, but i have the utmost respect for her.

[Chiki]

Well, I'm neutral in this discussion, but I think you might have missed his point. Being a sociopath or a murderer have never been accepted behaviors in society. Being racist, sexist or a homophobic (sadly) used to be accepted behaviors.

But surely a person is a sociopath or a murderer because of circumstances (biological or environmental).

Just because a behavior is accepted or unaccepted doesn't mean it isn't circumstancial.

Everything is a matter of circumstance. Gender, how your biological temperament is, your environment... So on.

I do think the OP's father is a bad parent, even considering circumstance because I think people have the ability to self-reflect prior to making a decision even if all circumstances are predetermined.

Edited November 22, 2013 by Chiki

[Nobody]

I do think the OP's father is a bad parent, even considering circumstance because I think people have the ability to self-reflect prior to making a decision even if all circumstances are predetermined.

I agree with you that being born on a certain time doesn't justifies this kind of behaviors, especially considering society have advanced but his father is stuck with an outdated mentality. I still find it hard to compare it to being a murderer or a sociopath, but whatever.

Edited November 22, 2013 by Nobody

[Axie]

My parents are amazing and deserve all my love and respect and not even when I was an overemotional teenager I thought otherwise.

[dondon151]

You don't understand why I said it's not sensical. I have no problem with excusing a person for their circumstances, but you can't just excuse a person for "circumstances" and not excuse, say, a serial killer for being born into an abusive family. Or Hitler for being born a sociopath. You need to be consistent.

and i think you're strawmanning my attempts at a nuanced assertion by pretending that it lacks any nuance. i'm not going to argue about this with you if you're going to be that disingenuous.

Edited November 22, 2013 by dondon151

[Chiki]

and i think you're strawmanning my attempts at a nuanced assertion by pretending that it lacks any nuance. i'm not going to argue about this with you if you're going to be that disingenuous.

Let's try explaining this more simply. You were claiming someone can be excused due to circumstance. The problem with that reasoning is that anyone can be excused, for example, Hitler. But obviously we can't excuse Hitler due to circumstance; hence, the general rule that we can excuse people for circumstances does not hold anymore, and hence we cannot excuse OP's father for circumstance. I hope that's clear enough.

[Refa]

My parents are amazing and deserve all my love and respect and not even when I was an overemotional teenager I thought otherwise.

Basically this, also they somehow manage to put up with me, which is kind of amazing.

[Steampunk]

I respect my mother a great deal. She wasn't expected to survive more than a few days after she was born: her parents actually picked her name based on what they wanted on her tombstone. She grew up with a verbally (and occasionally physically) abusive mother and lived through IRA attacks in Northern Ireland, and even managed to escape from the IRA when they tried to kidnap her. She came to the US without knowing anybody here, made a decent living, and also turned in to a better mother than the one she grew up with. She also managed to survive breast cancer and became a citizen in 2012. It's hard for me to look at her life and not hold some respect for all she's lived with and overcome.

My dad hasn't had it so hard, but I still respect what he's managed to do in life. He's got a steady income, a lot of practical "handyman" skills, and learned to play music.

The problem with that reasoning is that anyone can be excused, for example, Hitler.

Godwin's Law invoked.

[Redwall]

Let's try explaining this more simply. You were claiming someone can be excused due to circumstance. The problem with that reasoning is that anyone can be excused, for example, Hitler. But obviously we can't excuse Hitler due to circumstance; hence, the general rule that we can excuse people for circumstances does not hold anymore, and hence we cannot excuse OP's father for circumstance. I hope that's clear enough.

We generally assume circumstance to one set of factors, but not the only set of factors, influencing a person's actions; dondon is only claiming that someone can be excused due to circumstance, not that we should always excuse someone due to circumstance.

[Phoenix Wright]

I agree with you that being born on a certain time doesn't justifies this kind of behaviors, especially considering society have advanced but his father is stuck with an outdated mentality (and yes, I'd say his father is a bad parent). I still find it hard to compare it to being a murderer or a sociopath, but whatever.

Now come on, are you trying to say that anyone who's quick-tempered and naggy is a bad parent? Because that's a huge majority of parents. And learning how to deal with parents like that isn't even difficult.

OP is complaining that his dad has no "class." What a shitty thing to complain about. Also, OP clearly shows no fucking gratification towards a man that has worked in a coal mine to support him.

He's making it seem like it's all on his dad and none of it's on him. As if he were fine and his dad is the one that has room to grow. He's being unfair to his father and himself.

I'd agree that OP's dad could at least try to change a little bit. I also think OP has a lot of growing to do too.

Let's try explaining this more simply. You were claiming someone can be excused due to circumstance. The problem with that reasoning is that anyone can be excused, for example, Hitler. But obviously we can't excuse Hitler due to circumstance; hence, the general rule that we can excuse people for circumstances does not hold anymore, and hence we cannot excuse OP's father for circumstance. I hope that's clear enough.

"Circumstance" doesn't begin to describe Hitler, though. I doubt OP's dad has ever thought of actually murdering people he's xenophobic towards. Hitler wasn't born into an environment that hated Jews enough to eradicate them, he created that environment. Also, if I read dondon's posts correctly, he said it's only "somewhat excusable," not "completely excusable," which I personally agree with.

Edited November 22, 2013 by Phoenix Wright