deleted35362 Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 we may measure our own worth by comparing ourselves to others...a while ago, i made a topic asking how you fight off any of your urges to committ suicide upon the arrival of such urges. this one is kinda the same, but about string feelings of jealousy. i think the topic about suicide went well. although i don't feel much less if at all miserable between then and now, i haven't actually been having any suicidal thoughts....so what has helped rub jealousy out of your mind? jealous has ALWAYS overwhelmed me, so i'd appreciate some more help for my emotional turmoil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Djeets Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 (edited) if this jealousy is too cruel to bear, you better face it, the more you avoid it, the more the jealousy thrives, normally i do: -usually either i try to ignore them with willpower (and pain) or just hearing some "unique" stories from music ~~ -worst case, try to sleep and overlslept for few hours... it made you felt both better and worst ~~ -share this jealousy to someone you trust, it helps a bit Edited December 2, 2013 by Leap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwarfishh Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 Look at who you're jealous of, and observe their faults. Then laugh. Repeat until better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Espinosa Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 If I really wanted to be like any other person, I would put the effort into and do it. Since I generally find the people I see not deserving of blatant mimicry, jealousy is hardly a problem for me. When I detect praiseworthy characteristics in the people around me, I will either do my best to develop the same in myself (which is a lot of work as a rule) or acknowledge that I fall short when it comes to matching certain standards (this is a very good thing, I believe, if you want to feel even slightly comfortable inside your body). Having a certain world view does make jealousy very unlikely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Djeets Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 jealousy may not always about being wanting to be as good as someone..it can also a feeling out of being rejected or being abandoned or even worst from bertrayal. for example, my jealousy usually comes not from "why he was so good at this?" rather it's from something like "Why in the world he was the one chosen to get that? am i unworthy? am i some kind of riddance? i'm unneeded anymore...right?" so, rather than clinging to that feeling itself, just focus on what you have, and how you used what you have to get what you want Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siegmund Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 In what situation are we talking about? Like what are you jealous of or about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapier Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 Jealousy isn't bad, unless you become obsessive about it and let it overcome you. It is perfectly normal to admire and desire to be as good as that person who you are jealous of. I think that the best way of dealing with it is recognizing your own pros and cons and working hard to improve and/or fix your flaws. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 Rather than look at the other person and be bitter about their position, I strive to make myself better. I fail to see the benefit of bringing other people down. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Djeets Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 (edited) would feeling being isolated makes a jealousy? i mean, sometimes i'm introvert and i look on a chat where thing goes crowdy.. and i felt hurt... was i jealous of their social skills? or that is loneliness... Edited December 2, 2013 by Leap Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrhesia Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 I would say jealousy is probably among my most crippling failures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aizenberg Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 i get very bitter and angry when im jealous. it happens a lot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aevelia Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 Whenever I'm feeling jealous, I try to focus on my own good qualities. Everyone has them, even if they seem small and humble. I've found I have to recognize my admirable traits and appreciate them before I can try to adopt someone else's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wizard Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 Generally I only get jealous of guys who seem to get girls despite being jerks, but that's because I'm inexperienced, so meh. However... Academically, I'm ridiculously overconfident, and I often get top of the class without revising for tests. If I feel jealous of the jerks getting girls, I just imagine where the jerks will be when they leave school. Then I laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FrostyFireMage Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 I really don't have very many people I can confide in and enjoy myself with, so I often get jealous of others being closer to the people I want to befriend or become better friends with. It takes a bit of restraint to not start something I'll regret. :P I also compare myself with others far too often for my own good and then make myself feel bitter about everything. :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwarfishh Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 Generally I only get jealous of guys who seem to get girls despite being jerks, but that's because I'm inexperienced, so meh. However... Academically, I'm ridiculously overconfident, and I often get top of the class without revising for tests. If I feel jealous of the jerks getting girls, I just imagine where the jerks will be when they leave school. Then I laugh. Wish I could do that. I stopped doing academic subjects in favor of music. Music education is pretty useless in all honesty, even inside the music industry. But at least I can laugh at myself. Now I'm jealous of you... Counter productive topic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Laufeyson Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 I used to be a very envious person in my youth. I would get annoyed or bitter at someone who was "cooler" or whatever. I would get jealous of those girls who always had dudes saying how "hot" they were and bullshit like that. But somewhere along the line, i realized how silly that was and how it was my own insecurities speaking. Why on earth should i be jealous of that girl who has men following her like ducks in a row? Honestly... Also, i would see that some things just arent worth feeling envious over. That person over there has a good looking significant other? So what? That other guy makes a lot more money than me? Big deal. Im now comfortable enough in my own skin that i am nigh impervious to crippling jealousy. Music education is pretty useless in all honesty, even inside the music industry. It sure helps to know how to compose and read music though. And understanding theory can help you create some masterful work. I do agree though, because the music industry is a business. So it would make more sense to study business to be able to enter the music industry. (journalism helps too) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dwarfishh Posted December 2, 2013 Share Posted December 2, 2013 It sure helps to know how to compose and read music though. And understanding theory can help you create some masterful work. I do agree though, because the music industry is a business. So it would make more sense to study business to be able to enter the music industry. (journalism helps too) Yeah, but I learnt how to read music and basic theory quickly. A level is all analysis of pieces, which is next to useless outside of exams. And getting marked marked on composition is ridiculous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deleted35362 Posted December 3, 2013 Author Share Posted December 3, 2013 In what situation are we talking about? Like what are you jealous of or about? I really don't have very many people I can confide in and enjoy myself with, so I often get jealous of others being closer to the people I want to befriend or become better friends with. It takes a bit of restraint to not start something I'll regret. :P I also compare myself with others far too often for my own good and then make myself feel bitter about everything. :/ oh my god, THIS post exactly. i mean...there's plenty to speak of of course beacuse i'm jealous of damn near everything, but this post is the tip. Music education is pretty useless misconceptious blanket statement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excellen Browning Posted December 3, 2013 Share Posted December 3, 2013 I've always seen my own jealousy as being ashamd of myself when I see othr people do things just so much better (in my opinion at that time). This often leads to me feeling like crap when around these persons, so I tend to not be very friendly towards them =/ I've honestly never known how to deal with jealousy; I know finding faults in others and trying to laugh about it doesn't work. Because why would having a flaw suddenly invalidate a right? (so in my opinion, quite a few posters in this thread are full of shit) The only thing that seems to work is to fnd something else to occupy my mind with. I also wonder if I/we don't have some internal standard to judge ourselves by. I've been trying to do this for a few years, and it has been very rough, but it seems to be working. Although I also get told I'm a good person quite frequently these days, so I might be lying to myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ansem Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 sublimation. over the summer, i played piano to fend off thoughts of other having fun without me. it worked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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