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Serenesforest's member appreciation thread- Hattu


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Santa Claus...

How vile your name upon my tongue. Like acid, hard to utter without spitting. Yet I find myself capable of speaking little else. It has become my malediction, my profane mantra.

Santa Claus... Santa Claus... Santa Claus.

That name, like you, like your Christmas and all its perversions, is a lie. But then you have always lived in a house of lies, and now that house has become a castle, a fortress. So many lies that you have forgotten the truth, forgotten who you are...forgotten your true name.

I have not forgotten.

I will always be here to remind you that it is not Santa Claus, nor is it Kris Kringle, or Father Christmas, or Sinterklaas, and it certainly is not Saint Nicholas. Santa Claus is but one more of your masquerades, one more brick in your fortress.

I will not speak your true name. No, not here. Not so long as I sit rotting in this black pit. To hear your name echo off the dead walls of this prison, why that...that would be a sound to drive one into true madness. That name must wait until I again see the wolves chase Sol and Mani across the heavens. A day that draws near; a fortnight perhaps, and your sorcery will at long last be broken, your chains will fall away and the winds of freedom will lead me to you.

I did not eat my own flesh as you had so merrily suggested. Madness did not take me, not even after sitting in this tomb for half a millennium. I did not perish, did not become food for the worms as you foretold. You should have known me better than that. You should have known I would never let that happen, not so long as I could remember your name, not so long as I had vengeance for company.

Santa Claus, my dear old friend, you are a thief, a traitor, a slanderer, a murderer, a liar, but worst of all you are a mockery of everything for which I stood.

You have sung your last ho, ho, ho, for I am coming for your head. For Odin, Loki, and all the fallen gods, for your treachery, for chaining me in this pit for five hundred years. But most of all I am coming to take back what is mine, to take back Yuletide. And with my foot upon your throat, I shall speak your name, your true name, and with death staring back at you, you will no longer be able to hide from your dark deeds, from the faces of all those you betrayed.

I Krampus, Lord of Yule, son of Hel, bloodline of the great Loki, swear to cut your lying tongue from your mouth, your thieving hands from your wrist, and your jolly head from your neck.

In other words, he's pretty cool.

Edited by Makaze
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I think Christmas is a pretty guy eh slides down chimneys and doesn't afraid of anything

also THANKS GUYS for the kind words

really brightened up a day I'd been spending sick in bed

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santa is a sham. people think he's so great, but he's the opposite of that. all he does is sit around and force enslaved elves to make toys every day of the year. he also only works one day per year which isn't exactly good. oh yeah when he does that he forces deer to pull his sleigh across the whole freaking planet in one night.

because of mentioned information, i declare that santa should be reported. he is guilty of:

animal abuse

enslaving an entire race

breaking and entering

stalking (how else would he know what we all want?)

and other stuff

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Shit so you're saying I'm an outdated, short-lived, unimpressive search engine.

Actually I was referencing the Cuil, a made-up unit of measurement for the level of abstraction from the original subject matter of a thing.

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santa is a sham. people think he's so great, but he's the opposite of that. all he does is sit around and force enslaved elves to make toys every day of the year. he also only works one day per year which isn't exactly good. oh yeah when he does that he forces deer to pull his sleigh across the whole freaking planet in one night.

because of mentioned information, i declare that santa should be reported. he is guilty of:

animal abuse

enslaving an entire race

breaking and entering

stalking (how else would he know what we all want?)

and other stuff

wow mods

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