Dragoncat Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Saw this on facebook. Basically, a kid was being disrespectful in school too often, so his mom had the police come and act like they were arresting him. If you click the link you'll see the majority of the commenters support her decision. My question is, what do you think? I would have to know what exactly he was doing in order to make my decision. If he stole something, then maybe. I remember a story that happened near where I live. Two kids stole a toy from a store, their dad made them write an apology letter and stand outside the store with big bright signs that said "I stole from this store, shoplifting is wrong" etc. I guarantee they'll never do it again, but anyway, I would support this mother's decision only if the kid was doing something illegal or potentially illegal. If he was just calling the teacher a poophead then no, that's going too far. Unfortunately I can't find the details...one commenter said just have the cops come give him a lecture/talk instead, that way he learns to respect instead of fear law enforcement. That I agree with... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soapbar Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Wait were the police officers willing to do it or were they tricked with a fake call? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapier Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 (edited) I think the police force should not be 'wasting' their time dealing with kids that are too disrespectful in school, this is not what they're primarily in work for, and the time they could be doing something else productive was wasted. There are other ways to scare him/her into obeying (the principal threatening to kick him/her out of school and punishment at home are two that I can think of), it was not necessary to call the cops for a prank. So, yeah, this method seems extreme, unnecessary and uncalled for. I'm using 'seems' because what the kid did might be worse than merely 'disrespecting', like stealing. EDIT: My position wasn't made clear. I think she did the right thing, through unnecessary and extreme methods. Edited May 4, 2015 by Rapier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Book of Ereshkigal Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 (edited) Wait were the police officers willing to do it or were they tricked with a fake call? This and it depends on what the kid was doing, I guess, as long as the police weren't wasting their time. Edited May 4, 2015 by L95 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapier Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 I honestly can't think of anything that a kid can do, that is so grave that calling the principal, talking with them or punishing them wouldn't work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Raven Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 (edited) They said fake arrest so I imagine the kid didn't do anything. Basically she wasted unnecessary resources for discipline, which she can ask someone else about. Not only that but being arrested when you're young can be somewhat traumatizing and humiliating, so this was just a bad idea all around. Edited May 4, 2015 by Lord Raven Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dragoncat Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 Wait were the police officers willing to do it or were they tricked with a fake call? It says she arranged for them to do it, so I'm pretty sure it's the former. They said fake arrest so I imagine the kid didn't do anything. Basically she wasted unnecessary resources for discipline, which she can ask someone else about. Not only that but being arrested when you're young can be somewhat traumatizing and humiliating, so this was just a bad idea all around. Like I said, it really depends on what he did. I'll admit that I was a problem child and one time I was throwing such a big fit over who knows what(forgot) that my parents actually called the cops and told me they were going to take me away. But all they did was talk to me. They said that if it happened again more extreme measures would be taken, but that's irrelevant. It worked...it never happened again. I got in trouble and threw tantrums, yeah, but nothing that big again. Sometimes tough love IS necessary. And embarrassment can be more effective than grounding/taking away electronics/whatever. Like the story in the OP about the two boys shoplifting. It had to be embarrassing for them to stand out there with those signs, but because of that they know that won't be tolerated and they won't move on to stealing bigger/more valuable things, so it's better in the long run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draco Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 The kid might've been pretty disrespectful, but that's not what she should've done. That's taking it too far imo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Cynthia- Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 The role of the police is to enforce the law, not help discipline your child. If the kid did something illegal in school then maybe, but even then at that age(kid looks like 12 maybe?) school officials should be able to handle the matter themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
X-Naut Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 If it was merely disrespectful behavior then that is overkill and not something the police should spend their time on. Now, bullying or theft... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Fucking really? THIS is what the brave police force of America spends its time on? It would be especially wrong if she fooled the police, but even if they were willing, that's a big waste of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eurykins Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) Waste of police's time, and they shouldn't have even entertained/fulfilled the request to begin with. Wouldn't be surprised if she had someone and/or some sort of connection/means in order for this to happen. Also speaks ill of the mother herself and her capacity to raise a child correctly, imo. You shouldn't need the POLICE to raise a child to be respectful and/or otherwise require a fake arrest to set a child straight- especially not at this kid's current age. Kinda makes me question her line of thinking as well, as it seems she'd rather shelve the responsibility of disciplining her own child (for a non-illegal behavior) onto someone else rather than do it herself, so there's another -1000 points for her in that regard. I also feel like this is only encouraging a lot of the mothers (and parents in general) nowdays, who are scared to do simple, yet effective means of disciplining kids at a young age (IE. spankings). "Oh, I can't lay a hand on my own child!" so I've heard so many mothers say as of late, too scared to simply turn a child on their lap and give them a good swat or two to tell them what is good and bad to do (AKA. Set boundaries, teaching them proper respect when interacting with others, respect for authority, etc.), which in turn allows the little demons to run rampant in the grocery stores and elsewhere with little to no restraint. This leading up to said kids being obnoxious/otherwise out of hand growing up (unless there's a blessed exception of a good child coming out of terrible parenting somehow that occurs once in a blue moon), which makes it a royal pain in the ass for any/all fellow students AND authority figures of any kind to have to deal with. Because, in the end, all she's really teaching him is, "I'll resort to calling in someone else to give you a scare, but I'm not going to bother putting myself in that seat of responsibility, because it's not my place to teach you how to respect and otherwise interact positively with other people. Oh, and I'll abuse a public service that should otherwise be saved for real emergencies, for the sake of the scare factor, too. ;)" Sure, the embarrassment factor is there (if you can even call it that, in a way? I'm not even seeing it massively as an embarrassing situation personally- I think anyone in their right mind would be concerned/scared/etc. if the cops suddenly arrested you?), and there are plenty of other ways to execute the same effect/intent this situation had without needing to stoop this low for it. EDIT: The one thing I'd be embarrassed most over (in the kid's position): Having a mom that'd do something this naive/foolish, and then having to deal with any other ill-conceived plans later on down the road from her. That in itself would make me want to GTFO out of the house/her life ASAP, quite frankly (unless this was a highly unusual thing/train of thought coming from the mother), and as someone that was brought up respecting elders and their values, that's saying quite a bit from my PoV. Edited May 5, 2015 by Eurykins Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dondon151 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Fucking really? THIS is what the brave police force of America spends its time on? It would be especially wrong if she fooled the police, but even if they were willing, that's a big waste of time. i know, right? these brave men in uniform should be ambushing drivers to hand out speeding tickets and tagging cars with parking violations. that's a much better use of their time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eclipse Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Where's the option for "not enough context"? Right now, the only info we've got is a tiny blurb on a Facebook page. With very little background regarding what happened, it's impossible to say whether or not the mother did more harm or good. . .or whether this will affect the child positively in the long term. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blah the Prussian Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 i know, right? these brave men in uniform should be ambushing drivers to hand out speeding tickets and tagging cars with parking violations. that's a much better use of their time. OR they could be stopping real crimes from taking place, and what you described really is a better use of their time because it is their JOB. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rehab Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I think part of the trouble with this, among other things that can be explained away by "tough love," is "do they address the root cause of the unwanted behavior, or do they just bludgeon it into laying low for awhile?" I can imagine winding up with a resentful kid, and wishing the one that "just" misbehaved would come back. Kids aren't necessarily in the same state of ethical, social, overall mental development etc as their parents, but they're not stupid- they pay attention to how they're treated. Unfortunately, part of what that means is that they don't always take things how we wish they would. If humiliation and threats get somebody a perfect, well-adjusted little angel when they started out with an unmanageable little terror, great for them, I guess. But I have to wonder how that kid's going to be doing a few years down the road - will he think "I would do the same for my kids," or will he think "pretty much anything -but- that would be an improvement?" Personally, I was a case that leaned a bit towards the latter sort of outcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Wright Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) your third option is irrelevant. if what he was doing was illegal, then the police were right to get involved. if he was not breaking the law, then a fake arrest seems to me like it would be illegal. i don't think cops should be able to make fake arrests. this is stupid. cops aren't nannies or parents, but my guess is if this town had time to spare a few boys in blue to scare a kid straight, the town's probably safe anyway. i don't pretend to know how to deal with a shitbag kid, though. Edited May 5, 2015 by Phoenix Wright Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dondon151 Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) OR they could be stopping real crimes from taking place, and what you described really is a better use of their time because it is their JOB. that's an incredibly fallacious argument; if my job were to jerk my penis all day long, is that a good use of my time? activities aren't a good use of time simply because they are labeled "job." Edited May 5, 2015 by dondon151 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chococoke Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 I didn't check the article, but you could easily make an argument that by embarrassing this kid you are preventing crime down the line, so you can't real argue that this is a waste of the police's time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Raven Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Or you could mess him up which leads to that, it works both ways. OR they could be stopping real crimes from taking place, and what you described really is a better use of their time because it is their JOB.I don't know where you're from, but I'm going to note that he was responding more to your condescending tone towards the US rather than the content of your argument. Yes, they should probably be doing other things, but you're making it sound like the oh so brave american police force does shit like this. Don't know what dondon was getting at with his most recent post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chococoke Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Cops being on the street trying to prevent crime could cause this kid to act delinquent as well. I'm just saying it isn't like the cops are trying to take a break from "whatever stopping real crimes" entails Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapier Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 (edited) It's funny how dondon uses a fallacious argument (he appeals to ridiculousness in his first post), then calls blah for using a fallacious argument. There is no statement whatsoever which leads us to the conclusion that those mentioned police activities are a waste of time. Also, complaining that the police isn't doing better things isn't the same as 'the police should be handing speeding tickets and tagging cars', which is what blah's first post addresses, so dondon's reply doesn't even follow. I didn't check the article, but you could easily make an argument that by embarrassing this kid you are preventing crime down the line, so you can't real argue that this is a waste of the police's time I strongly disagree with this 'the ends justify the means' thoughtline. Extreme measures bring consequences around the same level. It was not necessary to educate the child that way, there were less extreme methods that could've worked. Cops being on the street trying to prevent crime could cause this kid to act delinquent as well. This statement doesn't follow. How are cops on the streets going to make the kid act delinquent? It makes no sense. Edited May 5, 2015 by Rapier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lord Raven Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 You ever met someone who says "fuck the police" unironically? That might be what he's talking about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chococoke Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Exactly. Certain people can be incited just by the presence of police due to the lack of trust between one party regarding another (warranted or not) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blaze The Great Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 That's a terrible idea. She is basically saying "I'm unwilling to be responsible, even for my own child, in fact to show how little I care, I'm gonna play a joke." Really? This lady is stupid. The police should never be called for something in school, unless there was an active shooter situation. This is one of the stupidest things I have seen yet this year, and it's really sad how many Facebook comments there were praising this woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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