Being an outcast.

[Shane]

Has anyone been an outcast before? I'm not talking about the feeling of not belonging in this world in which I am sure we all felt at one point or more - but have you been actually or strongly felt rejected from society or a social group because of your differences in views, appearance or capabilities? Have you been oppressed in any shape or form? At home, school or in the media?

I guess I was destined to be an outcast among my peers as I am very shy and awkward. Worst of all, during my very first years of school I was very sensitive to stupidity and still am to a degree. For most my childhood I lived in a small community where almost everyone knew everyone. And I was in one of the only two primary schools in this community, and because of this, majority of my peers were here in one place. I didn't make much of an impression as I preferred being by myself. I still am like this, but I didn't feel the pressure of standards and expectations so I felt genuine freedom of being myself with no real consequences and I thought the world was a happy place where we all could be ourselves. How could I be so wrong?

As the years went on, names and rumors surfaced as a result of me preferring to be alone most of the time. I did have friends, and I tried to get along with everyone, but I didn't have any real strong connections with anyone, and I didn't mind that. But others apparently did and this was bad! I was declared a loser among other things. Gay, emo, loner, and the infamous "Bucktooth Whale" in which actually succeeded to offend me despite not having buckteeth or being fat - just had slight dental accident (broke one of my teeth in year 3). But looking back, I felt so stupid for being sensitive to stupidity. There's stupidity that causes injustice and harm. Then there's harmless stupidity you can laugh at. But as the years went on, I found out everyone loved Nintendo! That was one thing that surprised me and I had some real fun discussions regarding the subject of Nintendo franchises.

I then moved and things went downhill more. I was back into my shell as I was surrounded by even more people. I knew on the second week of secondary school that Nintendo was hated for being childish and apparently gay since someone at my school who was homosexual loved Nintendo. We all hopefully know how awfully moronic that is, and I wasn't blind enough to savor that bullshit. But this caught the attention of someone who had haunt me for a long time - four and a half years before I ended up snapping and getting out of character. I broke his nose, and almost his arm. School grades went downhill due to my exclusion for a while and I became depression got the chance to pin me down even more.

Regardless, I was an outcast for a very long time. I still kind of am, but I am in a place of education where everyone has accepted me, but I still suffer social anxiety after years and years of constant negative experiences. But because of this, maybe it made me open minded. It made me see the oppression individuals and certain minorities get for being themselves and I believe this led to me asking myself "do they deserve it?" in which case the obvious answer is no. I feel like most outcasts, online and off, are some of the most genuine, most modest people I have ever met. They have the courage to defy social standards that are mostly built about trends and fads in which goes to show just how stable our expectations really are.

My advice, as an outcast to another: just be yourself. The sooner you don't give a shit, the better it is for you. I have also many forums to thank to for opening my eyes to the oppression certain groups get. And just note I do not support the use of gay as an insult - I am quoting insults I got or heard over the years.

So! Do you have any experiences you want to share?

(Sorry if this is in the wrong forum!)

[Knight]

I was an outcast for pretty much all of elementary and much of highschool. Only later in Grade 11 and 12 did I know the rest of my peers well enough to be part of the "in-crowd." My suggestions to anyone who does feel like an outcast is to keep your cool, if someone is bullying you, don't show signs of frustration or mopiness because that is the kind of reaction bullies are trying to get out of you. One thing that really helped me is being funny, I made plenty of jokes in and out of class and people thought I was the funniest guy in school. Even if you don't have a sense of humour, it helps to just laugh at other people's jokes as well (as long as it's the appropriate time) and don't feel nervous to join in on conversations and class discussions. Above anything else, don't act arrogant, proud or like you're above the other people in your class (due to higher grades, better tastes or any self-assumed notions of superiority), because that is the most antisocial attitude.

Also, when you're in college/university: JOIN CLUBS! Anything you're interested in, games, anime, dinosaurs, chances are that someone else in the club not only shares that interest, but other interests as well. When you're with a bunch of people who like the same stuff and you talk about the stuff you like and the, you have a lot of fun.

[Draco]

I've never been particularly liked, mostly due to being pretty shy, quiet, and introverted. Getting to the age where I realize just how much the world sucks but I'm doing my best to be liked and enjoy the world for what it is. Still do not like people, like, at all but I still try. Dunno why.

I'm glad to see that you've come out of your shell and are generally liked by most people though.

[B.Leu]

Yeah I know how it is, in fact, that's why I had to withdraw from school at a young age. I blame the kiddos and the incompetent and stupid as hell 'professors'.

Ah, the famous case of 'you're bullied to the point where you snap, but you are 100% responsible for it despite you being the victim', how nostalgic.

No wonder no one want to go to school and the education is crap, you learn shit and you're treated like shit.

... Cynicism ! :D

I feel bad for you, I truly do.

Edited June 22, 2015 by B.Leu

[BurningCandy]

Hmmm.

Well,...

In primary school I was always very shy and, tbh, childish. I didn't have much friends, since they all teased me ("you're so childish hahaha", so funny lol).

Actually, I became so upset I sort of... Degenerated? Like Tiki did? I became extremely violent. I always hurt other peeps because that's what protected me from teasing and stuff.

My advice: Be friendly. And nice. Don't come off as a jerk.

I'm still childish, though, and my friends are a careful balance of the "in kids" and my close friends... People still tease me but I have learnt to ignore it.

[MacLovin]

I can semi-relate.

but then again, I burned out easily in HS due to stress.

[Misses Elise-chan!]

I actually enjoy being an outcast. I used to get messed with a lot in middle school and elementary school. Teachers were useless, even when the kids who would bother me put their hands on me and hurt me. Now no one knows who I am, so things are good being ignored.

Edited June 22, 2015 by Rabbattack

[Shane]

Oh wow, I didn't expect this amount of activity! I agree that being an outcast has its benefits, but honestly I think it has some flaws too. It's harder to reach out for help and you often feel misunderstood. It can get frustrating to say the least. Too many traumatizing experiences at home and school have crippled my chances of a decent social life. While it's true I got to know a few friendly faces this year, I still feel distant and out of touch with society. It's a good and bad thing for me.

I've taken every post into consideration. It's a shame we have oppression when we should all be working together to build a future for everyone. But that's wishful thinking I suppose.

Again thanks for sharing!

[Jedi]

Being an outcast was saddening to me, I was huge on my family life when I was younger, and somewhat on my school life. I was semi popular in grade school, some events later though and I was moving all over the place, decided Homeschool would be the best bet.

Which in the end helped me but I was alot more awkward at social events come Highschool, where I WAS the outcast except a few friends. I was sad I wasn't included in most stuff, my Christian club helped a bit, so did Church, but other then that I felt alone.

Nowadays since job corps is behind me and some college, I feel alot more confident and social, I have more friends then I ever did before ^^; all I had to do was be exposed more. Although part of me does like the isolation I used to mostly have, because sometimes I just like to sit and think.

[Rapier]

I think 'outcast' is a bit of a strong word to be applied to me. I didn't fit within school groups most of the time because I had different tastes and different views. I wasn't bullied, and whenever someone tried to pick a fight with me or call me names, I avoided or ignored them because I have huge anger issues, and I didn't want to make it worse. I guess I had an easier time than most people who were 'outcasts'. I'd say the correct term for me was 'misfit'. What was truly awful for me is how everything was boring and demotivating. The people were boring, the school was boring, the lessons were boring, the environment simply sapped all of my motivation to study, to socialize, to work and to overall care about things. Meanwhile, I knew people on the internet who I could chat with for hours, who I've worked with in projects, who motivated me to work harder and do stuff. These were the kind of companions I wanted to have around me but I couldn't, instead of the people who were around me. I couldn't take that well.

I guess I am in terms with it right now, but I've become someone with motivation issues and difficulty with socialization (which I was good at). I really feel uncaring and demotivated about stuff most of the time. Thing is, I want to start caring about things again, to be motivated to work and to become a better person - if not for the people who I don't care about, at least for those who I care. My negative attitude has done bad things to my relationships and has distanced people who I care about from me, and continues to do so.

I don't know whether I am an introvert or an extrovert. I'm selective toward people, but I can't help but crave for external influences to motivate me and push me forward. I'm at my best when I am in a competition, or when I have an external standard to live for, something to compare myself to and achieve which also motivates me. When there isn't anything around that do so, I become bored and demotivated.

Edited June 23, 2015 by Rapier

[Captain Wesker]

Pretty much me. I always try to sit alone, I never talk in class and never had friends that would even care. I don't mind really, but c'mon. I kinda want children. Being an anti-social/asocial person doesn't help.

[eclipse]

Most of the kids and teachers in my elementary school didn't like me, and it showed, though it was mostly through exclusion. The outright bullies were the teachers, and the worst incident I can think of didn't even involve me! However, my elementary school was very small, and intermediate school was in a completely different district. It took a while for me to learn how to socialize properly - I'd snap at people who were trying to be friendly. In high school, I sought out others who'd had similar experiences - and we banded together. It's a lot harder to pick on a group of fifteen than it is to pick on a single person.

It's taken a long time to get where I am now, but I still don't think I'm fully over my elementary school days.

The best advice I can give is to find a therapist you're compatible with, and sort out those issues. Even now, I have a slight aversion to older women.