Video Gamers and Girls

[maybe]

Oh my Goth (an: gettit?) What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little prep? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Howegarts, and I’ve been invovlved in numberous secrete raids on Volfermort, and I have over 300 confirmmed cuts. I am trained in gotic warfare and I’m the top emo in Sthytherim. You r nothing to me but just anuter stupid prep. I will bite u the fuck out with presicioen the likes of which has never been seen b4, mark my fucking words. (an: not fuckign jk, prep) You think you can get away with flamming me in the comment sectikn? Tink again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of goths n vamprriees and your IP is being traced right now so u betta prepare for emo hellz, prep. Your fkingng dead, and not in the cool Way (an: like Gerard way? Gedt it?. I cn be newhere, netime, and I can kill you in over seven hudered ways, and that’s just with my fangz. Not only am i esktentiveely traneed in moshing n cutting, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the vanpir wizrds and I will use it to its full tent to wipe ur miserabble poser ass off the face of the content, you little prep. And i am so fking goroeorgs you wont be able to sotp me. Im wearing blakc nail polish and dark black eyeliner. My hair looks like amy lees and im wearing my good charlotte concert teeshirt. Im wearing blavk fishnet leggings and a hot pink miniskitt. All the guys think im the hottest, specialky the goffic guys. If only u culd have known what unholy retterbuting your little “clever” falmming preppy comment was about to bring down upon u, mebbe you would have held ur fckigng tongue. But you cuntld, you dnt"t, and now ur pahing the parce, you goddam perp. I will bleed black blood all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, posrr.

i love this

[Parrhesia]

LEAKED Suicide Squad Script

Hi my name is Lime Green Jared Leto Joker Banksy and I have short green hair (that’s how I got my name) and icy blue eyes that are like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like marilyn manson (AN: if you don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I have pale white skin. I’m also a criminal and go to an asylum called Arkum in GOTHam. I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I love hot topic and buy all my clothes from there. Today I was wearing a purple leather jacket and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, and black eyeliner. I even hav black teeth. I have lots of goffick tattoos with skullz and other goffick symbols.I was walking outside arkum. It was snowing and raining, so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. Batman stared at me. I put up my middle finger at him.

[Ansem]

i opened your sig and got a good kek

same

[maybe]

LEAKED Suicide Squad Script

Hi my name is Lime Green Jared Leto Joker Banksy and I have short green hair (that’s how I got my name) and icy blue eyes that are like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like marilyn manson (AN: if you don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I have pale white skin. I’m also a criminal and go to an asylum called Arkum in GOTHam. I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I love hot topic and buy all my clothes from there. Today I was wearing a purple leather jacket and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, and black eyeliner. I even hav black teeth. I have lots of goffick tattoos with skullz and other goffick symbols.I was walking outside arkum. It was snowing and raining, so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. Batman stared at me. I put up my middle finger at him.

i read like three words and was ready to reply with "is this my immortal" but then i looked at it again and realized what it was

[Loki Laufeyson]

>tvtropes phrases

dropped

[Esme]

*fangz u*

[Freohr Datia]

*hellcomez u*

[claire]

an older male pretending to be a lesbian has been hitting on me for the past week on runescape. kind of reminded me of this thread tbh

[Tryhard]

[Oct. 13th, 2007|10:42 pm] Okay, that's it.

It is just pointless to be reasonable with you people. So I'm not even going to give you the luxury of an LJ Cut. And I'll see if you pay attention.

You would do anything to look down on me. I mean, what the hell? It's just stupid, period. And I got enough of it because I happen to be a lastborn. And I still get more from that bit. Okay........wha? Those relatives of mine have issues, why the hell take it out on me? Oh, that's right. They're freaking bullies! You might want to tell me to go easy on them, because they're not all bad. But no. I'm not all bad and you don't go easy on me at all. Why should I do that for you? In fact, WHY THE HELL SHOULD I DO YOU ANY FAVORS?

The problem with being a youngest child is being the frickin' smallest: when *EVERYBODY* is against you, you have little to no chance whatsoever. Now this might apply to any other birth order member, but at least they can shake off at least one of the siblings. US LASTBORNS DO NOT HAVE THAT LUXURY! We can't afford to fight at all because we're already outpowered by ANY of their relatives. If we have to fend off the whole lot of relatives, it's just a downright nasty mismatch. You have some nerve calling us spoiled and demanding. LOOK IN THE MIRROR!

That's exactly what you should have done before trying to push us around anyway. There's no way we're born manipulative. In fact, you teach us to be that with your stupid fear tactics, which is where we come off being control-seekers in the first place. You want to know why video games are designed to have AI harboring advantages that makes it able to live through being stupid to the point of being outplayed by the casual gamer? Because they're aimed at kids, and we're damn well like kids. VG makers basically parody the older siblings' bothersome points, albeit on a lesser point than stories like Cinderella. They even make games like Jake and Rachel Advance Wars: Bull Shit, Bimmy And Jimmy Lee 3 Double Dragon 3, andMickey Mouse Mickey Mousecapade, having bosses f00kin' borderline impossible without stupid cheap tricks that result in them being cheesed, just to parody the twats who don't even give us a chance. Which they should anyway going by the VG point. Oh, did I forget to mention that VG players would fight off a variety of enemies or hazards in VGs too? Yep, VGs parody the attitude against guys with many flaws as well. Which lastborns happen to be. Not to mention enemies that can hurt and therefore possibly kill the player's character in ridiculous ways such as bird poo. Poo is just icky, if very much so. Maybe in games like the GBA Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy game could it be not so implausible considering cement is apparently instant death to Edd there because he's a neat freak (I haven't played that game; only read that tidbit off an FAQ, but Edd's personality makes that easy to remember), but Goemon? GOEMON? Yes, poo HURTS Goemon in the NES Goemon games. Even though when Goemon is hurt too much he dies *IMMEDIATELY*, no matter what finishes him off. Now yes, video games aren't designed to be realistic, but that's the point: I am shocked how people can consider us downright slobs when we don't even have to care about poo being full of bacteria to agree that poo is completely yucky no matter how icky or nice that pee is. (More likely the latter to us, especially if it comes from girls. :$ ) Heck, there's a scene on Foster's Home that in subtlety compares poo to pee, pee winning by a landslide. (If you want to know which scene, IM me, AND DO NOT EXPECT TO KNOW THE SCENE IN QUESTION THE SAME WAY AGAIN IF YOU HAVE SEEN IT BEFORE. Frankly, I'm hoping I haven't given it away already.)

Basically, great job getting yourselves parodied and parodied quite thuroughly. It's no wonder hated_character even exists in the first place. And I'm not LJ Cutting any part of this post. You want me to LJ CUT this? HELL NO! Seriously, how about you listen to us, period, and then we wouldn't try to be loud. Want to ignore us and not let us be loud? TOUGH! You're not even giving us fair treatment in the first place. You can't seriously hope to expect fair treatment unto your horrid asses.

In fact, stop labeling us as spoiled rotten, miserable little brats. We have difficulties just as bad as yours. And before you think I'm just talking like some random Hollywood celebrity, I will tell you that we'd only even be like that because you God damn push us around too much and only listen to the siblings who are "wiser", know-it-alls, and admittedly more experienced. HELLO! IT'S THE APPLICATION THAT MATTERS, NOT THE QUANTITY! Don't ever accuse us of being attention seekers either. You'd just prove you would never take us seriously, even though we deserve to be taken seriously even if just a bit. Good God, it's no wonder we're critical, easily angered, and impatient. People like you make us so insecure. IT'S UNBEARABLE! We're supposed to get *SOME* credit at the very least.

But no. Not content with having us being insecure, siblings also push their bloody opinions on us. WTF is that? Just WTF is that? They don't know everything, it's stupid how they think they do. And JUST WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THOSE STUPID POWER KICKS? No, don't answer that. Not that whether or not that question is rhetorical matters. It just makes them worse, and they get the added advantage of trying to make us unable to tune them out OR make them back off without nasty backlash. We have to sit through their opinionated shit and take it. NO! THAT'S NOT RIGHT!

And for those wanting to bring up karma anyway and say characters like Blooregard Q. Kazoo from Foster's, Eddy from Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy, Edward from Camp Lazlo, Palom from Final Fantasy 4, and other such characters who apparently by coincidence have the misfortune, yes, that's right, the misfortune of being a younger sibling, get what they deserve, no questions asked. Well, they deserve to be smacked every once in a while. But the punishments are overboard. I mean, what, others are going with "eye for an eye" even though THEY'VE BEEN TELLING US IT MAKES THE WHOLE WORLD BLIND? OH MY GOD! THEY CAN DISH IT OUT BUT THEY CAN'T TAKE IT?!?!? WELL, IT'S ONLY FITTING WE CONTINUE WITH THE EYE FOR AN EYE STUFF WITHOUT REGARD FOR THE CONSEQUENCES! **THEY DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT OUR PAIN**!

And anyway, why the hell do you people out there make me your crappy target practice? Oh, that's right: because it's fun to make me have no fun. You hypocrites. So it's okay for you or the relatives to do whatever you like just because you're "right" but not me because I'm "wrong" whether or not I really AM right, which for the record is often enough? YOU'RE JERKS! It is for this reason why I don't try to make friends! JUST BACK THE BLOODY HELL OFF, PEOPLE! ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE FAULTFINDING PAINS IN THE ASS!

And YOU'LL GET THE FULL FORCE OF THE RANT! I'M TAKING YOU THROUGH THIS BECAUSE THIS IS ABSOLUTELY STUPID! I'M GOING TO LET YOU KNOW BECAUSE I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAN EVEN HATE ME! SO I AM GOING TO TAKE YOU THROUGH THIS SUFFERING! THAT'S RIGHT! SUFFER AND LIKE IT! NO, SUFFER AND LOVEIT! THAT'S RIGHT, SUFFER AND LOVE IT, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR REFUSING TO HELP! You brought this upon yourself. "I wasn't trying to be offensive"? Hah. I don't see a response to the pic of the Purin-vandalized trio I had posted before. Or the image of Sasuke being a failure at Pokemon. It would be easy enough to make a comment to either post that wasn't going to be offensive.

I say you deserve no LJ CUT regardless which says something because I can be an accepting person. Want an example? Well, I HATE smoking. It isn't nice to the environment, it isn't nice to the people around the smoker, it just isn't nice to anybody, period. If you want fun which would have to be the bloody point of smoking in the first place, there's always video games. But guess what? I do not hate smokers for being smokers. In fact, a girl I had been interested in had mocked me out by making me think she was a smoker. Granted, I was displaying the same sort of immaturity that has also led to me making the "It's true! Advance Wars Dual Strike is imbalanced!" pic, but at least I did talk to her again; even if it was after a few days and because she was talking to me, still liking her and probably loving her when I could just as easily believe she really is/was a smoker instead of just trying to pull my leg has to count for something. And it's a decent deal easier, although not as effective, to prove I can be brave with that than it is with my being interested in girls around my age who are older, and consequently going to be more experienced, than me. Which, you wouldn't believe, started the same school year I had known the girl at all.

Okay, so at this point, you would want to say I'm not an accepting person. Well, HAH! I'm more accepting than the amount of nice that the people who CLAIM to be nice are, especially said people who make that claim just to boost their arguments against me. I have been backstabbed *SEVERAL* times by members of the opposite sex, and "nice" ones at that. Yes, quote marks around "nice" to show that they're devils in plain sight, not perfect little angels like people claim they are. They're freaking liars. They have sex with assheads and then they accuse me of stalking them, or worse. **WHAT**? ...you have *GOT* to be kidding me.

Then again, most women are just so stupid. Why the hell are they dating chauvinists in the first place? Oh, that's right: because they're apparently mature. No, they're even less mature than any of those relatives of mine. Who are even less mature than me, which has GOT to say something because I am, again, the freaking lastborn, and the smallest gap between me and ANY of those sisters of mine is FIVE years, and meanwhile, the parents are in their 60s. Yet those relatives of mine frickin' tease me; I don't do that to others. So it should be clear I have a better mature side through my own share of immaturity, fed by having relatives who are *WORSE* at being mature. BUT NO! APPARENTLY, THE WOMEN CLAIM I AM IMMATURITY INCARNATE WHILE THE CHAUVINISTS ARE MATURITY CENTRAL! WHAT THE FUCK? I MEAN, HOW THE HECK? I JUST.......I SERIOUSLY DON'T GET THAT FUCKED UP LOGIC! ...oh yeah. That's right: because women are so biased. Somehow, nothing I do is ever good enough for them. yet the crappy chauvinistic creeps can sweep them off their feet 6 times before breakfast, without breaking a sweat. Wha..gah......guh? If they're going for looks, they have a stupid way of showing it. EITHER WAY, I DON'T GET WHAT THOSE GIRLS SEE IN THE CHAUVINISTIC CREEPS!

Actually, I don't get what women are doing supporting lecherous teachers either. I mean, they're in their 60s or 70s and they're taking advantage of the dumb girls who are in their teens and 20s. *WHA*? And the girls are supporting the imbalance they're going with? Now maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't common, but it IS so common that......WTF? Where's the sense of balance? And nothing is being done about this? Whoever is running this show has God knows how much to answer for. But we're not here to talk about the lecherous teachers. After all, their getting the stupid support is how they're getting anywhere near as far as they have in the first place, and don't tell me otherwise, I know from experience, so they're just cheap scapegoats. No. We're here to talk about the girls' bullshit.

And yes, girls are full of enough bullshit to have crappy excuses to crap on me. They hate me for being human, they hate me for being "different", they hate me for being like them whether or not I mean to be, they hate me for being savvy, they just hate me, period. I'm supposed to be myself, but if being myself just feeds their sad excuse of a bias, then what the hell is the point in wasting time for them? They're just going to get me in trouble with the damned peers of mine. Over pathetic reasons. And yes, they are being hypocritical to do that, because I KNOW they hate their own peers too. I mean, they even do drugs too often for God's sake! It's to the point where those sisters of mine do drugs and we know they're already frickin' overbearing beyond belief, the hypocrites. WTF is that about? I'm supposed to listen to their advice about girls? As for drug/alcohol usage....now I wouldn't mind some alcoholism in a girl. As long as it's nothing overboard, it's actually attractive. But drug usage isn't really attractive to me. It just doesn't feel right. And there's no excuse for them having these ridiculous standards. Like money, which I would get from being in the VG industry. Or looks....wait. I have a baby face. How about "treats his mother and any sisters well"? Okay then, girls, I'll judge you based on how well you treat your parents. Which you very much don't.

And how are they getting away with this abuse? Because the stupid guys they go for are letting them, because the girls have cute faces and vaginas so the guys are like "hey free sex." I'm sorry, but if you're going to push me around, I won't care if you have a cute face with glasses along with a vagina. Of course, everybody else does so you're just being cowards of low order. AND ANYBODY WHO WANTS TO DISPUTE ME, READ THROUGH EVERY *LAST* *WORD* OF THIS! AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT DISPUTING ANY OF MY POINTS WITH ANYTHING THAT ONLY PROVES THEM OR YOU WILL SORELY REGRET IT! BECAUSE I'M READY TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE AN ASS FOR IGNORING ANYTHING!

Okay, so now getting off the topic of girls, I'm going to review AWDS *AGAIN*. Why? Because it is such a disgrace to the series that it DESERVES IT! And I'm not LJ-Cutting that either. So enjoy it, people, because that's what you get, people. That's what you get. This is your fault, after all.

So what should have been done?

1) NO FORCED TUTORIAL. And especially not one that makes a high Campaign Rank easier to get, let alone one that lasts more than HALF THE GAME. This was the irritating thing about a certain game that managed to irritate the Japanese players because it was trying too hard to conform to American players. Yeah. Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken. While I'm not saying the mere tutorial idea is bad, it's abundantly clear AW1 did the best job about it. Here, the job was very horrible. Just *VERY **HORRIBLE***. Veterans who are playing the Campaign for difficulty, stupid as it may sound in this case, are going to get irritated by having to go through easy missions. And players who want getting an overall S in Campaign to be at a balanced difficulty are going to be pissed off as well. But does the troubles stop there. NO! We can count the number of maps that are part of the tutorial, and there are.....*EIGHTEEN* maps that are part of the tutorial. 19 if you count Into The Woods. Now I might understand if there were as many Campaign maps in GBW3 as there were here, because at least there are 45 maps in GBW3's Campaign Mode. But this isn't GBW3, which has a Beginner Mode that quickly enough goes into the more complicated stuff; and anyway in GBW3's Campaign, it's *APPLICATION* that matters anyway, not simple how-tos. Actually, even if we had as many Campaign maps as in GBW3, that would still be 40% of the game being tutorial-based. But we don't have 45 Campaign maps; we got only 28. That makes ~65% of the Campaign a tutorial. *WHAT WERE THEY THINKING*? It's like having to clear only Zones A through C to get Marshal rank in GBW3. Not that difficult, is it? But even with the absurdly high number of tutorial maps in Campaign, it wouldn't be a problem if there wasn't any need for veterans to play through them, nor them providing ridiculously easy 300s that make it easy for the average player to get an A Rank or even an S Rank on Campaign. This ends up helping to cause difficulty fluctuation, which brings us to...

2) MINIMAL IF ANY DIFFICULTY FLUCTUATION. AND NO FAKE DIFFICULTY.This is the fatal flaw of AWDS. Some people say I can't beat Campaign without Broken Crash. Even if that's not bullshit, the implication that my skill apparently sucks sure as hell is bullshit. And yes, you're looking at the same person who Perfect S-Ranked every single mission in Hard Campaign in Advance Wars 2. Granted, I had some walkthrough help, but it was mostly Liberation. And this (earned Perfect S-Ranks instead of walkthrough ones) includes the dreaded Factory Blues, which had had to be one of the hardest maps to beat, Lash being broken enough to rape Kanbei Large Tanks on Forests, while on a map that favored her, and with a Factory to help her out at that. There was sci-fi stuff in AW2, but at least there the fights were more balanced because there, there was no Tag Break crap, no instant-lose possibilities except time limits, and none of that Hell-lium crap that had insane defense and the ability to swallow units whole. And not to mention most maps were restricted to a particular CO, so there's no way I could have used that Broken Crash abuse crap, even if Sasha had been in the game in the first place. However, I'm not going to bother proving whether or not I could beat AWDS Hard Campaign without the Broken Crash. The game has worn on me as it is. And don't tell me to do stupid things that aren't plausible in human matches short of the human being stupid. Like not killing enemy units that end up getting me routed if left alive or taking an HQ without killing enemy units. Or frickin' deleting a unit, especially on a map with absurdly low difficulty no matter which difficulty level you're on.

And you want to know what's stupid? You want to know what's really stupid? Getting important details TOO LATE TO AVOID BEING RAPED BECAUSE OF THEM! NOW WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT? Just take the Oozium in Into The Woods for example. The only way a first-timer is going to know about it *AT ALL* without losing his/her Megatank is via luck or walkthrough abuse. And if you don't believe me about fake difficulty, just look here. Heavily scripted scenarios are only showing this game to be a mess. Instant death scenarios were in Nintendo Hard games. They shouldn't be around here, even if it makes the difficulty not so easy.

And let's not forget the fact that some of the 100 Speed requirements are stupid. Reclaim The Skies, for example, has an EMBARASSINGLY HIGH limit of 8 Days. Even though the map requires only 2 Days, 3 at the most. Which is also the case in the Hard Campaign version, only the limit is higher at eleven. But let's talk about the Neverending War limit. It's 9 days on NC. Which sounds reasonable. But trust me: it's not. Then again, the enemy force is just predeployed units anyway and you have Factories to work with, even if they can be used only to build stuff below 10K gold. Of course, this problem is nothing to Neverending War HC, which has a limit of 16 days. Even though the map's size has been expanded and the difficulty has jumped, what the hell were they thinking? The map is difficult enough to clear at all, why make players have to clear the maps quickly? And these are just earlier examples of the bad 100 Speed limits. There's 4 missions with time limits for completion and 3 of them, on BOTH modes have 100 Speed limits ridiculously close to the time limits, if not actually there as in the case of Mean To The End. And the remaining one, Surrounded, has its 100 Speed limit on NC at 5/8 of the time limit. That's at least 80 points easy there as well. WTF is that shit about anyway?

And not to mention the fact that plenty of missions have 100 Speed limits of 15 or more Days. WTH is that about? This might be fine if you lost points based more on the number of extra Days you spent, but it's not. The way Speed is calculated, this just guarantees the player, even if they're turtlers, gets at least 50-60 points per mission from Speed alone. Do they expect ANYBODY to play a map for SIXTY Days? I barely got to 40 in GBW3, and that was on a map involving navy, which was gimped there from the lack of a Battleship there. *sigh* My goodness. They're seriously emphasizing defense too much. It's the same problem as with Fire Emblem: Souen no Kiseki's difficulty.

Then of course there's Technique. Well, having a rank that is based on how many units survive isn't so bad at all. The problem is its influence being MINIMAL. Well, look at Naruto--yes, the same ninja anime/manga--where the characters encourage avoidance of casualties over completing a mission. So yes, the influence of a rank determined by survival should *NEVER* be minimal, especially when the player is going for rank. Okay, an automatic 20 points at least isn't so bad. Although in order to clear a map, you have to have surviving units in the first place. But it would help when maps don't encourage ridiculous unit spams. Like Neverending War HC. There's no real strategy/tactics when unit spams are involved. They're just about abusing immense numbers. Much like what the Galactic Empire in Star Wars does with its TIE Fighters. Now maybe it would help if the metagame actually saw to it that Infantry actually 1-day-died more easily and with less cost. But that's not the case. D:

What should have been done with Technique is to make having 0 possible long enough before the 90% destroyed units mark could be hit. At the very least, unit spams would be stopped. And there would be better emphasis on keeping units alive as well. And hey, they did it in Fire Emblem games, where if you lost enough units, the number not even having to be double digits, your Survival Rank would crash and burn.

And this is something I read, but apparently, some maps, like Pincer Strike, have INCREASED automatic Technique points. Apparently, somebody lost half their army in Pincer Strike and still got perfect Technique. Wha? Please tell me they're joking, because if they're not, it means Intelligent System *REALLY* expects players to put up with the Tag Break junk on maps like Pincer Strike. What were they thinking? They expect you to go through a mission losing units left and right without knowing that much?

I'm not going to waste my breath on Power. I can only imagine how flawed the way it was handled here anyway. Speed and Technique were already messed up, after all, and I've wasted enough breath on them.

So anyway, let's look at Megapolis again. Because that is a *PERFECT* example of the fake difficulty. I don't care if you cleared that with all 27 COs, no tag teaming OR Forces, although as to that, here's some wise GameFAQers words: YouTube video or it didn't happen. And how can it have happened anyway? Kanbei gets such an obscenely high amount of funds in the first 10 days, at the very least, that even he's able to build at least one Megatank. AND back it up with ridiculous units. Taking a look at the damage ratings of the Megatank against land units........ONE HUNDRED FIFTY PERCENT!!!!! And thanks to Kanbei's attack boost, that's just to the Mech. Yes, *ARMORED UNITS TAKE MORE DAMAGE FROM MEGATANKS THAN INFANTRY*. TALK ABOUT INCONSISTENCY! In fact, the Small Tank's damage taken is *TWO HUNDRED SIXTEEN PERCENT*!!!!!!!!!! And in every single case, City defense is NOT *SUFFICIENT* to cut off IKing ability at all without a CO with a defense boost. Kanbei *WILL* rape the chokepoint. And even if you do make sure the Megatank can't kill the damn thing that's guarding the spot, Kanbei can just use indirect to rape whatever you have on your City and you're still ruined.

Your only chance to stop him from building enough indirects to take your HQ sooner or later is to take his Cities in the back. That is, IF HE DOESN'T BUILD ROCKET LAUNCHERS TO COVER THEM OR IMPEDE YOUR INFANTRY SENT TO THEM FIRST! OH, COME ON! IS THERE A GOD DAMN WAY TO STOP THIS ABSURDITY? HE GETS RIDICULOUS BY BREAKING THE PLAYER'S CHOKE POINTS! ...........WHAT? YOU CAN JUST USE BITTMAN AND GRAB THE TOWERS TO GET RIDICULOUS DEFENSE TO PREVENT KANBEI FROM EVER BREAKING THROUGH? ......you can just use Bittman...and grab the towers...to get ridiculous defense...to prevent Kanbei...from ever breaking through................JUST HOW MUCH MORE FAKE DIFFICULTY CAN A SINGLE LEVEL HAVE! OR BETTER YET, A SINGLE GAME! I SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO CHEESE A LEVEL THAT IS NORMALLY RIDICULOUSLY HARD! I JUST SHOULDN'T, NOT TO ANY LEVEL, IN ANY GAME! VIDEO GAMES ARE DESIGNED FOR CHILDREN! THAT'S A REASON *NOT* TO HAVE THIS FAKE DIFFICULTY CRAP, AS OPPOSED TO THE REASON FOR HAVING IT BEING TO PARODY THE CRAP DIRECTED AT BABIES OF THE FAMILY, AS RIDICULOUS AS THAT CRAP HAS MANAGED TO GET! AND HOW CAN ADVANCE WARS COMMUNITIES BRAG ABOUT SOMETHING THAT SIMPLY COULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED? THEY'RE BEING SO FULL OF THEMSELVES! DOWNRIGHT ARROGANCE! THEY DON'T DESERVE TO CALL THEMSELVES ELITE WHEN THEY'RE BEING HORRID ELITISTS! AND YOU WONDER WHY I DON'T LJ CUT THIS!

Well, War Room is messed up because of the fake difficulty anyway. It's really stupid how you either get your ass Black Bombed to death, or just fricassee the maps. I want my fair, balanced maps back!

With that over with, I'd like to talk about the Survival Modes. However, they deserve their own suggestion, which is....

3) IMPROVE THE SURVIVAL MODES! Some people say the Survival Modes are puzzle modes. WHAT? It doesn't look like a puzzle mode to me. I mean, come on. FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND FUNDS? How can that make an effective puzzle mode? In fact, puzzle games generally give you exactly what you need to solve their problems, and nothing more. They are thurough in making sure there aren't solutions that wouldn't be considered. You want an example of a puzzle mode? Play Tetris Attack. In fact, there's a game in the NW series that itself has a lesser puzzle mode similar in basis to that which TA has. Yeah. Game Boy Wars 3. Sure the puzzles are simplistic there, making up just the Beginner Mode. Even Practice 16 doesn't require particularly high amount of thought. But at least we can describe GBW3's Beginner Mode as a puzzle mode than we can AWDS's Survival Modes.

Survival Modes should have been what they were going for: being arcade-like. Not some fancy series of hat tricks with particular COs as was the case with, oh, I don't know. Maybe GOING THROUGH A NARROW PATH OF ABOUT SEVEN OR EIGHT SPACES OF FORESTS WITH LARGE TANKS AND GETTING CUT OFF BY UNIT AFTER UNIT WHILE FOUR MISSILES PER TURN CAN EASILY BE USED BY OPPOSITION ON EVERYTHING YOU HAVE? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT? That is just discouraging versatility and individual play style. I want to be able to get a high score with *ANY* CO. Not be confined to using 4 out of 27 COs. What's wrong with having individual CO high scores anyway? It's not new OR lame, because Super Smash Bros. Melee has done that.

In fact, the player should only lose their limited resources through their own fault, not because the game demands it. Again, I bring up SSBM because in Endless and even Cruel Melee there, the only way you're closer to being forced out is through being damaged or knocked off the stage, neither of which happens simply because of whatever you do. Sure you get endless hordes, but you got them in the Champion difficulties anyway. Why is AWDS using a messed up method? Most arcade games don't even make you lose sooner or later, including the Battletoads one, which is hard to complete with less than $5 anyway. It's just a needless complication.

What should have been done is a limit of how much money/turns/time could be spent on each map without lasting consequence, on a map-to-map basis, and either:

*Have an overflow limit, that causes the game to be ended when met, and meanwhile, any overflow stay. After completing a certain number of maps, some of the overflow is removed.

*Have 2 extra lives, each being lost when there's an overflow. The third time the overflow is met, the game is ended. Of course, after completing a certain number of maps, one extra life is given if either extra life was lost.

And let's not forget the fact that the game allows you to SAVE RIGHT BEFORE EACH MAP! WTH is that BS about? It ruins any chance the Survival Modes could be decent arcade modes. A true arcade mode would prevent the player from repeating the same map over and over again. And the maps are small enough that a Save can be abused to the point where the desired results are achieved.

As to the individual modes, Money Survival itself is flawed. Period. The only way to allow Kanbei to be plausible as a solo CO in it is by giving enough money that Colin has probably too much leg room. ICK! The only way to stop this is messy map design. As if AWDS didn't have enough of that. At least Turn and Time Survival modes aren't as flawed, considering individual maps would ideally be possible to complete with any CO within a certain amount of turns or seconds/minutes.

4) FIX THE METAGAME! Oh God, only a 3rd of the way through the suggestions and already this is longer than the lastborn bashing rant and women rant put together. WELL, DON'T TRY TO MAKE ME LJ-CUT THIS! YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELVES! Anyway, want to know what's still overpowered? Infantry+Mech+Artillery Flooding. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. Somebody who has played 60 matches finds it sad how he wins matches by Infantry+Mech+Artillery Flooding, and loses if he doesn't. Why? Because Infantry live with only 1 HP left at least, and end up blocking everything as a result. It's pathetic how this happens. It's absolutely pathetic. And those thinking of AA Tank abuse can expect to be halted by the Mechs. And let's not forget that Artillery AND Rocket Launchers can't even be IKed by anything but high tier units, which suffer from being expensive. Now this might be fine on paper, because the indirects will no longer have any real firepower left. But they will STILL BE ALIVE AND CAPABLE OF BLOCKING OFF YOUR UNITS! The only way to prevent this is CO abuse. It's really stupid.

We can use Black Bombs, yes. After all, the flood is full of clumps and has bad mobility, so there's so many easy targets. So yeah, BBs would rape the damn thing. But wait. Aren't Black Bombs broken anyway? Especially thanks to absolute damage? So we can't really abuse Black Bombs without sinking almost as low as the I+M+A Flood abuser, because we'd just be using something just as broken! *sigh* Oh well, something had to be around to prevent I+M+A abuse, so better it be the Black Bomb than that damn Stealth, which is overpowered anyway on the account of being able to give itself immunity to non-air units. That's right. The Stealth is an overpowered stealer of the Attacker's job. It deserves to go. The only way I want it back is nerfed heavily enough. And yes, I do believe the Black Bomb, despite being more broken, actually serves a better purpose for the metagame than some random fan-requested unit. Not that that's saying that much, but at least it can hope for a good redemption statset.

Of course, if we manage to destroy I+M+A Floods, we end up encouraging Tank Floods. Why? Because Tanks can kill every land unit with ease. And anybody thinking of bombing them or chopping them with choppers, first make sure you're on a map with Airports to consider that option in the first place, and second, say hello to Fighters. Either way, you'll be toast. And not to mention the bad amount of variety there. That's why there should be more units: for better strategy to prevent unit spamming. That's why the Transport Plane would be a far better unit idea than the God damn Megatank and Piperunner, let alone the Hell-Lium.

And as I mentioned, the navy is a mess now thanks to what has been done to the Cruiser. I mean, which unit is best for handling the Cruiser? Using the Cruiser yourself is just fighting fire with fire, which ruins the point of the game in the first place. The Submarine gets deep-sixed. And the Battleship? Too expensive and can be cornered by attacking it directly. And of course, air units suck now against it. The damage from the Battle Helicopters deserved to be nerfed, but Cruisers just rape Bombers now. Even without first strike. Just who the hell was behind the Cruiser's design anyway?

There's plenty of stuff in the older installments of the Nintendo Wars series anyway for handling the metagame. And still ideas out there like an airship that can kill Fighters but lose to Attackers as well as hovercrafts with cannons for halting Battleship abuse. And frankly, I think the unit-to-unit basis damage ratings is dumb. There's programming code and math formulas for that.

And don't get me started with Fog Of War OR weather. These suggestions are long enough without talking about either. At the very least, their influence should be fixed up.

5) FIX THE COS! For starters, get rid of the daily Strength Without Weakness crap. It's just dumb how a CO gets boosts, however minor, daily, and don't get punished for it. Okay, so maybe the boosts are so minor they are unimportant, but if a match comes down to the wire, that won't be the case and the only way an Andy player will win is by relying on CO Powers, which relies on the opponent not destroying his units first. Of course, I'm not suggesting COs get unreasonable weaknesses at all for this. A forest weakness for John, for example, isn't going to kill him. Just restrict his power on a terrain that isn't common in the first place.

And let's not forget the ridiculous D2Ds. Like Grit's +1 range for indirects. Well, some people try to justify them as "if everybody is special then nobody is special." Well, that's basically bullshit. If we made everybody on level with Sturm, who may I remind you was broken--AW2 stats or no--because he ignored Movement Costs, the game would be changed so much by the COs and therefore become hopelessly complicated beyond belief. A few things should be changed by the COs' presence to make sure it is felt, but when the COs affect the game way too much, it turns the game into a turn-off to newbies. At least with units you have something that's ideally only ban-worthy for scripted scenarios. But COs, you're using them, and you're stuck with them.

Then there's CO Powers that are useless or overshadowed in certain situations. What ever happened to the tried-and-true method of making COPs that actually helped the CO more in his/her disadvantageous environment than any other, and his/her advantageous environment less? Don't believe me? Just look at the Green Earth COs, the very ones who are more specialized than other COs. Eagle's COPs make his navy exploit its versatility quite effectively, Drake's COPs tear up the air units' fuel tanks and damage them as well which believe it or not punishes them more than land or sea units, and Jess's COPs resupply air and sea units for free which allows them to continually attack as long as their combat insufficiency doesn't sting them.

I have posted suggestions for CO changes before. Want links? IM me.

6) FIX TAGGING! There are three things done wrong with Tagging. The first is the fact that there are some tag combos that get bonuses or penalties BASED ON THE STORY! Wha? Where is the sense of balance? I know combos like Eagle + Sami, Eagle + Drake, and Max + Grit aren't synergetic. But how about Kanbei + Sonja? Kanbei has no weak units if he can get past the costs, which Sonja allows for. Then Kanbei has daily luck boosts to reduce counterattack and help prevent punishment from higher costs.

Also, I know I have ranted about girls' general suckiness *AGAIN*, but why the hell is Rachel + Chakka getting a whopping 35% firepower penalty during Tag Breaks? I mean, what the hell? NO TAG COMBO HAS NEARLY AS MUCH A FIREPOWER PENALTY AS THOSE TWO! Not even Eagle + Hawke and their reasons are far more legit, Eagle being thoroughly annoyed with Hawke's attack on Green Earth in AW2. So what did Koal do anyway? Destroy Rachel's hometown like Lash did to Olaf's? Nope. Tried to suck Omega Land's energy dry while being a womanizer? The whole Bolt Guard did the former and Chakka didn't do the latter. Okay, let's see....we can agree Rachel hates Chakka because of comments like--get this--"This land will be as devoid of your beauty as your face." .......YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME! ARE YOU TELLING ME THE CHIEF OF THE ALLIED NATIONS IS SOME RANDOM FANGIRL WHO TAKES INSULTS TO HER LOOKS PERSONALLY?!?!?!? EVEN CANDLE, VAIN AS SHE IS, COULD SHAKE OFF BEING CALLED FAT! (Candle's not fat from what I can tell. Just ugly trying to look beautiful.) Just....just.....keep girls like that away from me. They're not worth my time.

So get rid of the crappy tag bonuses. They have no place in multiplayer anyway.

So now we're onto the second problem: Tagging provides no penalties. Now I understand it's the game's gimmick. But that's no excuse to make it overpowered. There are some combos that are more powerful than others, without the warranted penalty at all, by abusing Tagging. Offense and early game COs can go first, do their job, and then switch out to the defense and late game COs, who are ridiculously powerful with their weaknesses eliminated. First strike, despite being a necessity in a TBS game like AW, has been excessively lawndarted. AGH! Tagging should provide a penalty to prevent abuse.

And last but certainly the biggest problem: Tag Breaks. Get rid of them. They are just over the top. They provide double turn. And they are every bit as threatening as they sound with that, if not moreso.

Some think TBs can be fixed. Well, let's see the possible ways:

-All SCOP effects simultaneously instead of double turn - Drake + Olaf will still be overpowered, and even if somehow they aren't, Kanbei + Sonja will be ridiculous. Not only will K+S deal obscene amounts of damage, but they'll counterattack first, deal ridiculous counterattack damage, AND have obscenely high defense. Oh, and did I forget to mention they'll ignore terrain? And there would be more TB combos that will still be overpowered.

-Reduced/no charging for back partner - Adder + Chakka's TB would become hopelessly overpowered as opposed to about any other combo except Eagle. Thanks to the law of diminishing, Eagle becomes an overpowered TBer as a backline charger.

-Both - same as above. Except Adder + Chakka have a weaker TB. But at this point, TBing is not so viable anyway.

-COP effects instead - HELL NO!

-No COP effects - congrats. You have killed Eagle's individuality.

So all options are out.

Just keep the Tagging concept alone, no attachments.

7) DEVELOP COMBAT MODE! Well, my critism on Combat Mode was rather light because it's actually a welcome addition. My issues with it is just that the units are imbalanced and the mode itself is underdeveloped. But other than that, not much to say. Fix it a bit and it's good to go.

8) FIX THE GRAPHICS AND MUSIC! This is minor, but warrants a mention still. The graphics aren't that horrible, just the bad 3D view and the unappealing maps. And it's not like they're important. Though I don't like the arrogant look on Sonja's face. Of course, Intelligent Systems may have been intending to get players to be irritated at the smart girl. So not much issues for the graphics. And as for the music, well, the new music isn't horrible at all. I won't lie, it's actually good, if pessimistic. But you want to know what sucks? THEY BUTCHERED MOST OF THE PORTED MUSIC! Andy's Anthem sucks now, for example. I'd list more examples, but the rant has managed to drain me.

9) HANDLE USAGE OF THE MEDALS BETTER! First, there are 300 Medals. Which take so much time to get it just gets annoying. Okay, so maybe you can leave only a handful of them by clearing every single one of the modes thuroughly. But the fact that it's easy to get 50, maybe 100 medals, including the Gold level ones, within half of the clearing of one mode, indicates how it's just another needless complication the way it's been handled. At least in GBW3, you can medals for doing particular things, NOT doing the same damn thing again and again and AGAIN. And enough of Super Smash Bros. Melee's trophies and all of the Bonuses there happen to require particular things being done too.

Flawed method aside, there are some medals, Gold level at that, that are just a joke to obtain. Like destroying units. Or hey. How about winning by Rout 150 times. Then there's stupid ones. Such as being defeated, yes, defeated 50 times. And would you ever guess one of the categories is unit deletion? I sure wouldn't because I wouldn't delete units, it's pretty stupid to use in general unless you meet the 50 unit cap. And 500 CO level ups? Hardly half that amount is needed to get everybody able to access their alternate costumes.

Then there's the just time-consuming ones. The only players who are going to normally obtain the Gold level medals for A, B, and C Ranks are newbies, especially those who play War Room. Even then, they'd have to be 300 seekers, and lousy at that. Yes, that's right, S Ranks are actually obtained far more commonly than any of the other 3 combined. And kill 50 Stealths? How many Stealths are there in any of the modes? I see none in any of the Survival Modes, and in both Campaign difficulties, I see only ONE Stealth, the one in Crystal Calamity HC, which I wouldn't want to repeat again and again and *AGAIN* just for a God damn medal. So that's right, we use Design Maps to handle this. But it can only do so much. It can't allow us to get the Survival medals. Which do have a basis on paper. Survival modes are supposed to be arcade-like, after all. But it doesn't change the end result. The Survival medals are, if anything, even worse to obtain than the medals for the A, B, and C Ranks. You have to repeat Survival maps so much it's bound to drive you nuts unless you somehow like the modes or just want to get records. And the latter is pretty much pointless because this game was handled so poorly in the first place. Just what were they thinking. They expect you to play through the same lousy BS again and again and again.

And guess what you get for going through all this nonsense? A lousy wallpaper. A lousy, frickin' wallpaper. Then again, it's actually suiting because the medals were handled so badly, and most of the rest of the game was handled so badly as well.

10) Just to further annoy the AW communities for being lameasses, here it is: DON'T MESS UP THE STORY WITH RIDICULOUS STEREOTYPING! It would help when the story isn't messy and making the good guys Mary Sues/Gary Stus. Now don't get me wrong, *SOME* stereotyping can be amusing. But WHY THE HELL IS THE SOCIOPATHIC VILLAIN A FRICKIN' OLD MAN? At least Mr. Evil AKA Sturm was just a mastermind manipulator, so it was actually convenient that he was the main bad guy in AW1 and AW2 because we were fine just wanting to kick his ass. And it would have been convenient if Candle was the main bad guy instead of simply a 2nd In Command, although one who stuck with the evil misdeeds to the end unlike a certain worthy opponent enemy who took out Sturm, switched sides only shortly after the end of the tutorial, and developed a soft side to an extent. Now I understand physical ability having nothing to do with war ability in this game. But come on. An old man on life support being the main villain? It's like they want you to attack senior citizens for no good reason. What? Okay, why the bullying, NOA? And yes, the labored breathing was added in the localization. Just like JAKE'S USAGE OF SLANG! Which is funny to read at first, I have to admit, but definitely should not be imitated.

And one more thing to criticize about the way Mr. Bolt was handled. You're given a choice as to whether or not to shoot him at the end. Does that affect anything really? No. Just who shoots him, or his machine, rather. And which wallpaper you get, which doesn't help when you HAVE TO COMPLETE THE CAMPAIGN MULTIPLE TIMES TO GET MEDALS AND CO WALLPAPERS ANYWAY! Now what the HFIL is that about? Nothing story-wise changes in the Epilogue. Rachel just congratulates the COs the same way, Jake and Sasha have the same mountainside talk, Mr. Bolt is buried underneath the rubble per karmic suffering either way, Hawke's status is still ambiguous (for some reason), and the Bolt Guard remnants talk without regard as to whether it was John or Hawke who shot the machine. Wow. That choice affected so much.

Well, at least that was shorter than I thought it would be. But my goodness. After all this, I deserve a hug from a nice girl my age, and a girlfriend who would be just that. And don't say that's not the case, you'd be so dead wrong after all that's been said and done.

Oh yeah. Comments from non-Friended LJs now disallowed. No creating a new LJ just to make trash. And you deserve this anyway for not caring in the first place. Twats.

[Tryhard]

beat that long-winded rambling diatribe

Edited October 15, 2016 by Tryhard

[Excellen Browning]

If your two cents turned into two dollars by the time you finished your post you must have hella inflation.

In other words, holla holla get dolla

[Parrhesia]

Well, at least that was shorter than I thought it would be.

[Ken Masters]

That's longer than the communist manifesto, holy shit.

[peener weener]

[Oct. 13th, 2007|10:42 pm] Okay, that's it.

It is just pointless to be reasonable with you people. So I'm not even going to give you the luxury of an LJ Cut. And I'll see if you pay attention.

You would do anything to look down on me. I mean, what the hell? It's just stupid, period. And I got enough of it because I happen to be a lastborn. And I still get more from that bit. Okay........wha? Those relatives of mine have issues, why the hell take it out on me? Oh, that's right. They're freaking bullies! You might want to tell me to go easy on them, because they're not all bad. But no. I'm not all bad and you don't go easy on me at all. Why should I do that for you? In fact, WHY THE HELL SHOULD I DO YOU ANY FAVORS?

The problem with being a youngest child is being the frickin' smallest: when *EVERYBODY* is against you, you have little to no chance whatsoever. Now this might apply to any other birth order member, but at least they can shake off at least one of the siblings. US LASTBORNS DO NOT HAVE THAT LUXURY! We can't afford to fight at all because we're already outpowered by ANY of their relatives. If we have to fend off the whole lot of relatives, it's just a downright nasty mismatch. You have some nerve calling us spoiled and demanding. LOOK IN THE MIRROR!

That's exactly what you should have done before trying to push us around anyway. There's no way we're born manipulative. In fact, you teach us to be that with your stupid fear tactics, which is where we come off being control-seekers in the first place. You want to know why video games are designed to have AI harboring advantages that makes it able to live through being stupid to the point of being outplayed by the casual gamer? Because they're aimed at kids, and we're damn well like kids. VG makers basically parody the older siblings' bothersome points, albeit on a lesser point than stories like Cinderella. They even make games like Jake and Rachel Advance Wars: Bull Shit, Bimmy And Jimmy Lee 3 Double Dragon 3, andMickey Mouse Mickey Mousecapade, having bosses f00kin' borderline impossible without stupid cheap tricks that result in them being cheesed, just to parody the twats who don't even give us a chance. Which they should anyway going by the VG point. Oh, did I forget to mention that VG players would fight off a variety of enemies or hazards in VGs too? Yep, VGs parody the attitude against guys with many flaws as well. Which lastborns happen to be. Not to mention enemies that can hurt and therefore possibly kill the player's character in ridiculous ways such as bird poo. Poo is just icky, if very much so. Maybe in games like the GBA Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy game could it be not so implausible considering cement is apparently instant death to Edd there because he's a neat freak (I haven't played that game; only read that tidbit off an FAQ, but Edd's personality makes that easy to remember), but Goemon? GOEMON? Yes, poo HURTS Goemon in the NES Goemon games. Even though when Goemon is hurt too much he dies *IMMEDIATELY*, no matter what finishes him off. Now yes, video games aren't designed to be realistic, but that's the point: I am shocked how people can consider us downright slobs when we don't even have to care about poo being full of bacteria to agree that poo is completely yucky no matter how icky or nice that pee is. (More likely the latter to us, especially if it comes from girls. :$ ) Heck, there's a scene on Foster's Home that in subtlety compares poo to pee, pee winning by a landslide. (If you want to know which scene, IM me, AND DO NOT EXPECT TO KNOW THE SCENE IN QUESTION THE SAME WAY AGAIN IF YOU HAVE SEEN IT BEFORE. Frankly, I'm hoping I haven't given it away already.)

Basically, great job getting yourselves parodied and parodied quite thuroughly. It's no wonder hated_character even exists in the first place. And I'm not LJ Cutting any part of this post. You want me to LJ CUT this? HELL NO! Seriously, how about you listen to us, period, and then we wouldn't try to be loud. Want to ignore us and not let us be loud? TOUGH! You're not even giving us fair treatment in the first place. You can't seriously hope to expect fair treatment unto your horrid asses.

In fact, stop labeling us as spoiled rotten, miserable little brats. We have difficulties just as bad as yours. And before you think I'm just talking like some random Hollywood celebrity, I will tell you that we'd only even be like that because you God damn push us around too much and only listen to the siblings who are "wiser", know-it-alls, and admittedly more experienced. HELLO! IT'S THE APPLICATION THAT MATTERS, NOT THE QUANTITY! Don't ever accuse us of being attention seekers either. You'd just prove you would never take us seriously, even though we deserve to be taken seriously even if just a bit. Good God, it's no wonder we're critical, easily angered, and impatient. People like you make us so insecure. IT'S UNBEARABLE! We're supposed to get *SOME* credit at the very least.

But no. Not content with having us being insecure, siblings also push their bloody opinions on us. WTF is that? Just WTF is that? They don't know everything, it's stupid how they think they do. And JUST WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THOSE STUPID POWER KICKS? No, don't answer that. Not that whether or not that question is rhetorical matters. It just makes them worse, and they get the added advantage of trying to make us unable to tune them out OR make them back off without nasty backlash. We have to sit through their opinionated shit and take it. NO! THAT'S NOT RIGHT!

And for those wanting to bring up karma anyway and say characters like Blooregard Q. Kazoo from Foster's, Eddy from Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy, Edward from Camp Lazlo, Palom from Final Fantasy 4, and other such characters who apparently by coincidence have the misfortune, yes, that's right, the misfortune of being a younger sibling, get what they deserve, no questions asked. Well, they deserve to be smacked every once in a while. But the punishments are overboard. I mean, what, others are going with "eye for an eye" even though THEY'VE BEEN TELLING US IT MAKES THE WHOLE WORLD BLIND? OH MY GOD! THEY CAN DISH IT OUT BUT THEY CAN'T TAKE IT?!?!? WELL, IT'S ONLY FITTING WE CONTINUE WITH THE EYE FOR AN EYE STUFF WITHOUT REGARD FOR THE CONSEQUENCES! **THEY DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT OUR PAIN**!

And anyway, why the hell do you people out there make me your crappy target practice? Oh, that's right: because it's fun to make me have no fun. You hypocrites. So it's okay for you or the relatives to do whatever you like just because you're "right" but not me because I'm "wrong" whether or not I really AM right, which for the record is often enough? YOU'RE JERKS! It is for this reason why I don't try to make friends! JUST BACK THE BLOODY HELL OFF, PEOPLE! ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE FAULTFINDING PAINS IN THE ASS!

And YOU'LL GET THE FULL FORCE OF THE RANT! I'M TAKING YOU THROUGH THIS BECAUSE THIS IS ABSOLUTELY STUPID! I'M GOING TO LET YOU KNOW BECAUSE I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU CAN EVEN HATE ME! SO I AM GOING TO TAKE YOU THROUGH THIS SUFFERING! THAT'S RIGHT! SUFFER AND LIKE IT! NO, SUFFER AND LOVEIT! THAT'S RIGHT, SUFFER AND LOVE IT, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR REFUSING TO HELP! You brought this upon yourself. "I wasn't trying to be offensive"? Hah. I don't see a response to the pic of the Purin-vandalized trio I had posted before. Or the image of Sasuke being a failure at Pokemon. It would be easy enough to make a comment to either post that wasn't going to be offensive.

I say you deserve no LJ CUT regardless which says something because I can be an accepting person. Want an example? Well, I HATE smoking. It isn't nice to the environment, it isn't nice to the people around the smoker, it just isn't nice to anybody, period. If you want fun which would have to be the bloody point of smoking in the first place, there's always video games. But guess what? I do not hate smokers for being smokers. In fact, a girl I had been interested in had mocked me out by making me think she was a smoker. Granted, I was displaying the same sort of immaturity that has also led to me making the "It's true! Advance Wars Dual Strike is imbalanced!" pic, but at least I did talk to her again; even if it was after a few days and because she was talking to me, still liking her and probably loving her when I could just as easily believe she really is/was a smoker instead of just trying to pull my leg has to count for something. And it's a decent deal easier, although not as effective, to prove I can be brave with that than it is with my being interested in girls around my age who are older, and consequently going to be more experienced, than me. Which, you wouldn't believe, started the same school year I had known the girl at all.

Okay, so at this point, you would want to say I'm not an accepting person. Well, HAH! I'm more accepting than the amount of nice that the people who CLAIM to be nice are, especially said people who make that claim just to boost their arguments against me. I have been backstabbed *SEVERAL* times by members of the opposite sex, and "nice" ones at that. Yes, quote marks around "nice" to show that they're devils in plain sight, not perfect little angels like people claim they are. They're freaking liars. They have sex with assheads and then they accuse me of stalking them, or worse. **WHAT**? ...you have *GOT* to be kidding me.

Then again, most women are just so stupid. Why the hell are they dating chauvinists in the first place? Oh, that's right: because they're apparently mature. No, they're even less mature than any of those relatives of mine. Who are even less mature than me, which has GOT to say something because I am, again, the freaking lastborn, and the smallest gap between me and ANY of those sisters of mine is FIVE years, and meanwhile, the parents are in their 60s. Yet those relatives of mine frickin' tease me; I don't do that to others. So it should be clear I have a better mature side through my own share of immaturity, fed by having relatives who are *WORSE* at being mature. BUT NO! APPARENTLY, THE WOMEN CLAIM I AM IMMATURITY INCARNATE WHILE THE CHAUVINISTS ARE MATURITY CENTRAL! WHAT THE FUCK? I MEAN, HOW THE HECK? I JUST.......I SERIOUSLY DON'T GET THAT FUCKED UP LOGIC! ...oh yeah. That's right: because women are so biased. Somehow, nothing I do is ever good enough for them. yet the crappy chauvinistic creeps can sweep them off their feet 6 times before breakfast, without breaking a sweat. Wha..gah......guh? If they're going for looks, they have a stupid way of showing it. EITHER WAY, I DON'T GET WHAT THOSE GIRLS SEE IN THE CHAUVINISTIC CREEPS!

Actually, I don't get what women are doing supporting lecherous teachers either. I mean, they're in their 60s or 70s and they're taking advantage of the dumb girls who are in their teens and 20s. *WHA*? And the girls are supporting the imbalance they're going with? Now maybe it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't common, but it IS so common that......WTF? Where's the sense of balance? And nothing is being done about this? Whoever is running this show has God knows how much to answer for. But we're not here to talk about the lecherous teachers. After all, their getting the stupid support is how they're getting anywhere near as far as they have in the first place, and don't tell me otherwise, I know from experience, so they're just cheap scapegoats. No. We're here to talk about the girls' bullshit.

And yes, girls are full of enough bullshit to have crappy excuses to crap on me. They hate me for being human, they hate me for being "different", they hate me for being like them whether or not I mean to be, they hate me for being savvy, they just hate me, period. I'm supposed to be myself, but if being myself just feeds their sad excuse of a bias, then what the hell is the point in wasting time for them? They're just going to get me in trouble with the damned peers of mine. Over pathetic reasons. And yes, they are being hypocritical to do that, because I KNOW they hate their own peers too. I mean, they even do drugs too often for God's sake! It's to the point where those sisters of mine do drugs and we know they're already frickin' overbearing beyond belief, the hypocrites. WTF is that about? I'm supposed to listen to their advice about girls? As for drug/alcohol usage....now I wouldn't mind some alcoholism in a girl. As long as it's nothing overboard, it's actually attractive. But drug usage isn't really attractive to me. It just doesn't feel right. And there's no excuse for them having these ridiculous standards. Like money, which I would get from being in the VG industry. Or looks....wait. I have a baby face. How about "treats his mother and any sisters well"? Okay then, girls, I'll judge you based on how well you treat your parents. Which you very much don't.

And how are they getting away with this abuse? Because the stupid guys they go for are letting them, because the girls have cute faces and vaginas so the guys are like "hey free sex." I'm sorry, but if you're going to push me around, I won't care if you have a cute face with glasses along with a vagina. Of course, everybody else does so you're just being cowards of low order. AND ANYBODY WHO WANTS TO DISPUTE ME, READ THROUGH EVERY *LAST* *WORD* OF THIS! AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT DISPUTING ANY OF MY POINTS WITH ANYTHING THAT ONLY PROVES THEM OR YOU WILL SORELY REGRET IT! BECAUSE I'M READY TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE AN ASS FOR IGNORING ANYTHING!

Okay, so now getting off the topic of girls, I'm going to review AWDS *AGAIN*. Why? Because it is such a disgrace to the series that it DESERVES IT! And I'm not LJ-Cutting that either. So enjoy it, people, because that's what you get, people. That's what you get. This is your fault, after all.

So what should have been done?

1) NO FORCED TUTORIAL. And especially not one that makes a high Campaign Rank easier to get, let alone one that lasts more than HALF THE GAME. This was the irritating thing about a certain game that managed to irritate the Japanese players because it was trying too hard to conform to American players. Yeah. Fire Emblem: Rekka no Ken. While I'm not saying the mere tutorial idea is bad, it's abundantly clear AW1 did the best job about it. Here, the job was very horrible. Just *VERY **HORRIBLE***. Veterans who are playing the Campaign for difficulty, stupid as it may sound in this case, are going to get irritated by having to go through easy missions. And players who want getting an overall S in Campaign to be at a balanced difficulty are going to be pissed off as well. But does the troubles stop there. NO! We can count the number of maps that are part of the tutorial, and there are.....*EIGHTEEN* maps that are part of the tutorial. 19 if you count Into The Woods. Now I might understand if there were as many Campaign maps in GBW3 as there were here, because at least there are 45 maps in GBW3's Campaign Mode. But this isn't GBW3, which has a Beginner Mode that quickly enough goes into the more complicated stuff; and anyway in GBW3's Campaign, it's *APPLICATION* that matters anyway, not simple how-tos. Actually, even if we had as many Campaign maps as in GBW3, that would still be 40% of the game being tutorial-based. But we don't have 45 Campaign maps; we got only 28. That makes ~65% of the Campaign a tutorial. *WHAT WERE THEY THINKING*? It's like having to clear only Zones A through C to get Marshal rank in GBW3. Not that difficult, is it? But even with the absurdly high number of tutorial maps in Campaign, it wouldn't be a problem if there wasn't any need for veterans to play through them, nor them providing ridiculously easy 300s that make it easy for the average player to get an A Rank or even an S Rank on Campaign. This ends up helping to cause difficulty fluctuation, which brings us to...

2) MINIMAL IF ANY DIFFICULTY FLUCTUATION. AND NO FAKE DIFFICULTY.This is the fatal flaw of AWDS. Some people say I can't beat Campaign without Broken Crash. Even if that's not bullshit, the implication that my skill apparently sucks sure as hell is bullshit. And yes, you're looking at the same person who Perfect S-Ranked every single mission in Hard Campaign in Advance Wars 2. Granted, I had some walkthrough help, but it was mostly Liberation. And this (earned Perfect S-Ranks instead of walkthrough ones) includes the dreaded Factory Blues, which had had to be one of the hardest maps to beat, Lash being broken enough to rape Kanbei Large Tanks on Forests, while on a map that favored her, and with a Factory to help her out at that. There was sci-fi stuff in AW2, but at least there the fights were more balanced because there, there was no Tag Break crap, no instant-lose possibilities except time limits, and none of that Hell-lium crap that had insane defense and the ability to swallow units whole. And not to mention most maps were restricted to a particular CO, so there's no way I could have used that Broken Crash abuse crap, even if Sasha had been in the game in the first place. However, I'm not going to bother proving whether or not I could beat AWDS Hard Campaign without the Broken Crash. The game has worn on me as it is. And don't tell me to do stupid things that aren't plausible in human matches short of the human being stupid. Like not killing enemy units that end up getting me routed if left alive or taking an HQ without killing enemy units. Or frickin' deleting a unit, especially on a map with absurdly low difficulty no matter which difficulty level you're on.

And you want to know what's stupid? You want to know what's really stupid? Getting important details TOO LATE TO AVOID BEING RAPED BECAUSE OF THEM! NOW WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT? Just take the Oozium in Into The Woods for example. The only way a first-timer is going to know about it *AT ALL* without losing his/her Megatank is via luck or walkthrough abuse. And if you don't believe me about fake difficulty, just look here. Heavily scripted scenarios are only showing this game to be a mess. Instant death scenarios were in Nintendo Hard games. They shouldn't be around here, even if it makes the difficulty not so easy.

And let's not forget the fact that some of the 100 Speed requirements are stupid. Reclaim The Skies, for example, has an EMBARASSINGLY HIGH limit of 8 Days. Even though the map requires only 2 Days, 3 at the most. Which is also the case in the Hard Campaign version, only the limit is higher at eleven. But let's talk about the Neverending War limit. It's 9 days on NC. Which sounds reasonable. But trust me: it's not. Then again, the enemy force is just predeployed units anyway and you have Factories to work with, even if they can be used only to build stuff below 10K gold. Of course, this problem is nothing to Neverending War HC, which has a limit of 16 days. Even though the map's size has been expanded and the difficulty has jumped, what the hell were they thinking? The map is difficult enough to clear at all, why make players have to clear the maps quickly? And these are just earlier examples of the bad 100 Speed limits. There's 4 missions with time limits for completion and 3 of them, on BOTH modes have 100 Speed limits ridiculously close to the time limits, if not actually there as in the case of Mean To The End. And the remaining one, Surrounded, has its 100 Speed limit on NC at 5/8 of the time limit. That's at least 80 points easy there as well. WTF is that shit about anyway?

And not to mention the fact that plenty of missions have 100 Speed limits of 15 or more Days. WTH is that about? This might be fine if you lost points based more on the number of extra Days you spent, but it's not. The way Speed is calculated, this just guarantees the player, even if they're turtlers, gets at least 50-60 points per mission from Speed alone. Do they expect ANYBODY to play a map for SIXTY Days? I barely got to 40 in GBW3, and that was on a map involving navy, which was gimped there from the lack of a Battleship there. *sigh* My goodness. They're seriously emphasizing defense too much. It's the same problem as with Fire Emblem: Souen no Kiseki's difficulty.

Then of course there's Technique. Well, having a rank that is based on how many units survive isn't so bad at all. The problem is its influence being MINIMAL. Well, look at Naruto--yes, the same ninja anime/manga--where the characters encourage avoidance of casualties over completing a mission. So yes, the influence of a rank determined by survival should *NEVER* be minimal, especially when the player is going for rank. Okay, an automatic 20 points at least isn't so bad. Although in order to clear a map, you have to have surviving units in the first place. But it would help when maps don't encourage ridiculous unit spams. Like Neverending War HC. There's no real strategy/tactics when unit spams are involved. They're just about abusing immense numbers. Much like what the Galactic Empire in Star Wars does with its TIE Fighters. Now maybe it would help if the metagame actually saw to it that Infantry actually 1-day-died more easily and with less cost. But that's not the case. D:

What should have been done with Technique is to make having 0 possible long enough before the 90% destroyed units mark could be hit. At the very least, unit spams would be stopped. And there would be better emphasis on keeping units alive as well. And hey, they did it in Fire Emblem games, where if you lost enough units, the number not even having to be double digits, your Survival Rank would crash and burn.

And this is something I read, but apparently, some maps, like Pincer Strike, have INCREASED automatic Technique points. Apparently, somebody lost half their army in Pincer Strike and still got perfect Technique. Wha? Please tell me they're joking, because if they're not, it means Intelligent System *REALLY* expects players to put up with the Tag Break junk on maps like Pincer Strike. What were they thinking? They expect you to go through a mission losing units left and right without knowing that much?

I'm not going to waste my breath on Power. I can only imagine how flawed the way it was handled here anyway. Speed and Technique were already messed up, after all, and I've wasted enough breath on them.

So anyway, let's look at Megapolis again. Because that is a *PERFECT* example of the fake difficulty. I don't care if you cleared that with all 27 COs, no tag teaming OR Forces, although as to that, here's some wise GameFAQers words: YouTube video or it didn't happen. And how can it have happened anyway? Kanbei gets such an obscenely high amount of funds in the first 10 days, at the very least, that even he's able to build at least one Megatank. AND back it up with ridiculous units. Taking a look at the damage ratings of the Megatank against land units........ONE HUNDRED FIFTY PERCENT!!!!! And thanks to Kanbei's attack boost, that's just to the Mech. Yes, *ARMORED UNITS TAKE MORE DAMAGE FROM MEGATANKS THAN INFANTRY*. TALK ABOUT INCONSISTENCY! In fact, the Small Tank's damage taken is *TWO HUNDRED SIXTEEN PERCENT*!!!!!!!!!! And in every single case, City defense is NOT *SUFFICIENT* to cut off IKing ability at all without a CO with a defense boost. Kanbei *WILL* rape the chokepoint. And even if you do make sure the Megatank can't kill the damn thing that's guarding the spot, Kanbei can just use indirect to rape whatever you have on your City and you're still ruined.

Your only chance to stop him from building enough indirects to take your HQ sooner or later is to take his Cities in the back. That is, IF HE DOESN'T BUILD ROCKET LAUNCHERS TO COVER THEM OR IMPEDE YOUR INFANTRY SENT TO THEM FIRST! OH, COME ON! IS THERE A GOD DAMN WAY TO STOP THIS ABSURDITY? HE GETS RIDICULOUS BY BREAKING THE PLAYER'S CHOKE POINTS! ...........WHAT? YOU CAN JUST USE BITTMAN AND GRAB THE TOWERS TO GET RIDICULOUS DEFENSE TO PREVENT KANBEI FROM EVER BREAKING THROUGH? ......you can just use Bittman...and grab the towers...to get ridiculous defense...to prevent Kanbei...from ever breaking through................JUST HOW MUCH MORE FAKE DIFFICULTY CAN A SINGLE LEVEL HAVE! OR BETTER YET, A SINGLE GAME! I SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO CHEESE A LEVEL THAT IS NORMALLY RIDICULOUSLY HARD! I JUST SHOULDN'T, NOT TO ANY LEVEL, IN ANY GAME! VIDEO GAMES ARE DESIGNED FOR CHILDREN! THAT'S A REASON *NOT* TO HAVE THIS FAKE DIFFICULTY CRAP, AS OPPOSED TO THE REASON FOR HAVING IT BEING TO PARODY THE CRAP DIRECTED AT BABIES OF THE FAMILY, AS RIDICULOUS AS THAT CRAP HAS MANAGED TO GET! AND HOW CAN ADVANCE WARS COMMUNITIES BRAG ABOUT SOMETHING THAT SIMPLY COULD NOT HAVE HAPPENED? THEY'RE BEING SO FULL OF THEMSELVES! DOWNRIGHT ARROGANCE! THEY DON'T DESERVE TO CALL THEMSELVES ELITE WHEN THEY'RE BEING HORRID ELITISTS! AND YOU WONDER WHY I DON'T LJ CUT THIS!

Well, War Room is messed up because of the fake difficulty anyway. It's really stupid how you either get your ass Black Bombed to death, or just fricassee the maps. I want my fair, balanced maps back!

With that over with, I'd like to talk about the Survival Modes. However, they deserve their own suggestion, which is....

3) IMPROVE THE SURVIVAL MODES! Some people say the Survival Modes are puzzle modes. WHAT? It doesn't look like a puzzle mode to me. I mean, come on. FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND FUNDS? How can that make an effective puzzle mode? In fact, puzzle games generally give you exactly what you need to solve their problems, and nothing more. They are thurough in making sure there aren't solutions that wouldn't be considered. You want an example of a puzzle mode? Play Tetris Attack. In fact, there's a game in the NW series that itself has a lesser puzzle mode similar in basis to that which TA has. Yeah. Game Boy Wars 3. Sure the puzzles are simplistic there, making up just the Beginner Mode. Even Practice 16 doesn't require particularly high amount of thought. But at least we can describe GBW3's Beginner Mode as a puzzle mode than we can AWDS's Survival Modes.

Survival Modes should have been what they were going for: being arcade-like. Not some fancy series of hat tricks with particular COs as was the case with, oh, I don't know. Maybe GOING THROUGH A NARROW PATH OF ABOUT SEVEN OR EIGHT SPACES OF FORESTS WITH LARGE TANKS AND GETTING CUT OFF BY UNIT AFTER UNIT WHILE FOUR MISSILES PER TURN CAN EASILY BE USED BY OPPOSITION ON EVERYTHING YOU HAVE? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT? That is just discouraging versatility and individual play style. I want to be able to get a high score with *ANY* CO. Not be confined to using 4 out of 27 COs. What's wrong with having individual CO high scores anyway? It's not new OR lame, because Super Smash Bros. Melee has done that.

In fact, the player should only lose their limited resources through their own fault, not because the game demands it. Again, I bring up SSBM because in Endless and even Cruel Melee there, the only way you're closer to being forced out is through being damaged or knocked off the stage, neither of which happens simply because of whatever you do. Sure you get endless hordes, but you got them in the Champion difficulties anyway. Why is AWDS using a messed up method? Most arcade games don't even make you lose sooner or later, including the Battletoads one, which is hard to complete with less than $5 anyway. It's just a needless complication.

What should have been done is a limit of how much money/turns/time could be spent on each map without lasting consequence, on a map-to-map basis, and either:

*Have an overflow limit, that causes the game to be ended when met, and meanwhile, any overflow stay. After completing a certain number of maps, some of the overflow is removed.

*Have 2 extra lives, each being lost when there's an overflow. The third time the overflow is met, the game is ended. Of course, after completing a certain number of maps, one extra life is given if either extra life was lost.

And let's not forget the fact that the game allows you to SAVE RIGHT BEFORE EACH MAP! WTH is that BS about? It ruins any chance the Survival Modes could be decent arcade modes. A true arcade mode would prevent the player from repeating the same map over and over again. And the maps are small enough that a Save can be abused to the point where the desired results are achieved.

As to the individual modes, Money Survival itself is flawed. Period. The only way to allow Kanbei to be plausible as a solo CO in it is by giving enough money that Colin has probably too much leg room. ICK! The only way to stop this is messy map design. As if AWDS didn't have enough of that. At least Turn and Time Survival modes aren't as flawed, considering individual maps would ideally be possible to complete with any CO within a certain amount of turns or seconds/minutes.

4) FIX THE METAGAME! Oh God, only a 3rd of the way through the suggestions and already this is longer than the lastborn bashing rant and women rant put together. WELL, DON'T TRY TO MAKE ME LJ-CUT THIS! YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELVES! Anyway, want to know what's still overpowered? Infantry+Mech+Artillery Flooding. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. Somebody who has played 60 matches finds it sad how he wins matches by Infantry+Mech+Artillery Flooding, and loses if he doesn't. Why? Because Infantry live with only 1 HP left at least, and end up blocking everything as a result. It's pathetic how this happens. It's absolutely pathetic. And those thinking of AA Tank abuse can expect to be halted by the Mechs. And let's not forget that Artillery AND Rocket Launchers can't even be IKed by anything but high tier units, which suffer from being expensive. Now this might be fine on paper, because the indirects will no longer have any real firepower left. But they will STILL BE ALIVE AND CAPABLE OF BLOCKING OFF YOUR UNITS! The only way to prevent this is CO abuse. It's really stupid.

We can use Black Bombs, yes. After all, the flood is full of clumps and has bad mobility, so there's so many easy targets. So yeah, BBs would rape the damn thing. But wait. Aren't Black Bombs broken anyway? Especially thanks to absolute damage? So we can't really abuse Black Bombs without sinking almost as low as the I+M+A Flood abuser, because we'd just be using something just as broken! *sigh* Oh well, something had to be around to prevent I+M+A abuse, so better it be the Black Bomb than that damn Stealth, which is overpowered anyway on the account of being able to give itself immunity to non-air units. That's right. The Stealth is an overpowered stealer of the Attacker's job. It deserves to go. The only way I want it back is nerfed heavily enough. And yes, I do believe the Black Bomb, despite being more broken, actually serves a better purpose for the metagame than some random fan-requested unit. Not that that's saying that much, but at least it can hope for a good redemption statset.

Of course, if we manage to destroy I+M+A Floods, we end up encouraging Tank Floods. Why? Because Tanks can kill every land unit with ease. And anybody thinking of bombing them or chopping them with choppers, first make sure you're on a map with Airports to consider that option in the first place, and second, say hello to Fighters. Either way, you'll be toast. And not to mention the bad amount of variety there. That's why there should be more units: for better strategy to prevent unit spamming. That's why the Transport Plane would be a far better unit idea than the God damn Megatank and Piperunner, let alone the Hell-Lium.

And as I mentioned, the navy is a mess now thanks to what has been done to the Cruiser. I mean, which unit is best for handling the Cruiser? Using the Cruiser yourself is just fighting fire with fire, which ruins the point of the game in the first place. The Submarine gets deep-sixed. And the Battleship? Too expensive and can be cornered by attacking it directly. And of course, air units suck now against it. The damage from the Battle Helicopters deserved to be nerfed, but Cruisers just rape Bombers now. Even without first strike. Just who the hell was behind the Cruiser's design anyway?

There's plenty of stuff in the older installments of the Nintendo Wars series anyway for handling the metagame. And still ideas out there like an airship that can kill Fighters but lose to Attackers as well as hovercrafts with cannons for halting Battleship abuse. And frankly, I think the unit-to-unit basis damage ratings is dumb. There's programming code and math formulas for that.

And don't get me started with Fog Of War OR weather. These suggestions are long enough without talking about either. At the very least, their influence should be fixed up.

5) FIX THE COS! For starters, get rid of the daily Strength Without Weakness crap. It's just dumb how a CO gets boosts, however minor, daily, and don't get punished for it. Okay, so maybe the boosts are so minor they are unimportant, but if a match comes down to the wire, that won't be the case and the only way an Andy player will win is by relying on CO Powers, which relies on the opponent not destroying his units first. Of course, I'm not suggesting COs get unreasonable weaknesses at all for this. A forest weakness for John, for example, isn't going to kill him. Just restrict his power on a terrain that isn't common in the first place.

And let's not forget the ridiculous D2Ds. Like Grit's +1 range for indirects. Well, some people try to justify them as "if everybody is special then nobody is special." Well, that's basically bullshit. If we made everybody on level with Sturm, who may I remind you was broken--AW2 stats or no--because he ignored Movement Costs, the game would be changed so much by the COs and therefore become hopelessly complicated beyond belief. A few things should be changed by the COs' presence to make sure it is felt, but when the COs affect the game way too much, it turns the game into a turn-off to newbies. At least with units you have something that's ideally only ban-worthy for scripted scenarios. But COs, you're using them, and you're stuck with them.

Then there's CO Powers that are useless or overshadowed in certain situations. What ever happened to the tried-and-true method of making COPs that actually helped the CO more in his/her disadvantageous environment than any other, and his/her advantageous environment less? Don't believe me? Just look at the Green Earth COs, the very ones who are more specialized than other COs. Eagle's COPs make his navy exploit its versatility quite effectively, Drake's COPs tear up the air units' fuel tanks and damage them as well which believe it or not punishes them more than land or sea units, and Jess's COPs resupply air and sea units for free which allows them to continually attack as long as their combat insufficiency doesn't sting them.

I have posted suggestions for CO changes before. Want links? IM me.

6) FIX TAGGING! There are three things done wrong with Tagging. The first is the fact that there are some tag combos that get bonuses or penalties BASED ON THE STORY! Wha? Where is the sense of balance? I know combos like Eagle + Sami, Eagle + Drake, and Max + Grit aren't synergetic. But how about Kanbei + Sonja? Kanbei has no weak units if he can get past the costs, which Sonja allows for. Then Kanbei has daily luck boosts to reduce counterattack and help prevent punishment from higher costs.

Also, I know I have ranted about girls' general suckiness *AGAIN*, but why the hell is Rachel + Chakka getting a whopping 35% firepower penalty during Tag Breaks? I mean, what the hell? NO TAG COMBO HAS NEARLY AS MUCH A FIREPOWER PENALTY AS THOSE TWO! Not even Eagle + Hawke and their reasons are far more legit, Eagle being thoroughly annoyed with Hawke's attack on Green Earth in AW2. So what did Koal do anyway? Destroy Rachel's hometown like Lash did to Olaf's? Nope. Tried to suck Omega Land's energy dry while being a womanizer? The whole Bolt Guard did the former and Chakka didn't do the latter. Okay, let's see....we can agree Rachel hates Chakka because of comments like--get this--"This land will be as devoid of your beauty as your face." .......YOU'RE FUCKING KIDDING ME! ARE YOU TELLING ME THE CHIEF OF THE ALLIED NATIONS IS SOME RANDOM FANGIRL WHO TAKES INSULTS TO HER LOOKS PERSONALLY?!?!?!? EVEN CANDLE, VAIN AS SHE IS, COULD SHAKE OFF BEING CALLED FAT! (Candle's not fat from what I can tell. Just ugly trying to look beautiful.) Just....just.....keep girls like that away from me. They're not worth my time.

So get rid of the crappy tag bonuses. They have no place in multiplayer anyway.

So now we're onto the second problem: Tagging provides no penalties. Now I understand it's the game's gimmick. But that's no excuse to make it overpowered. There are some combos that are more powerful than others, without the warranted penalty at all, by abusing Tagging. Offense and early game COs can go first, do their job, and then switch out to the defense and late game COs, who are ridiculously powerful with their weaknesses eliminated. First strike, despite being a necessity in a TBS game like AW, has been excessively lawndarted. AGH! Tagging should provide a penalty to prevent abuse.

And last but certainly the biggest problem: Tag Breaks. Get rid of them. They are just over the top. They provide double turn. And they are every bit as threatening as they sound with that, if not moreso.

Some think TBs can be fixed. Well, let's see the possible ways:

-All SCOP effects simultaneously instead of double turn - Drake + Olaf will still be overpowered, and even if somehow they aren't, Kanbei + Sonja will be ridiculous. Not only will K+S deal obscene amounts of damage, but they'll counterattack first, deal ridiculous counterattack damage, AND have obscenely high defense. Oh, and did I forget to mention they'll ignore terrain? And there would be more TB combos that will still be overpowered.

-Reduced/no charging for back partner - Adder + Chakka's TB would become hopelessly overpowered as opposed to about any other combo except Eagle. Thanks to the law of diminishing, Eagle becomes an overpowered TBer as a backline charger.

-Both - same as above. Except Adder + Chakka have a weaker TB. But at this point, TBing is not so viable anyway.

-COP effects instead - HELL NO!

-No COP effects - congrats. You have killed Eagle's individuality.

So all options are out.

Just keep the Tagging concept alone, no attachments.

7) DEVELOP COMBAT MODE! Well, my critism on Combat Mode was rather light because it's actually a welcome addition. My issues with it is just that the units are imbalanced and the mode itself is underdeveloped. But other than that, not much to say. Fix it a bit and it's good to go.

8) FIX THE GRAPHICS AND MUSIC! This is minor, but warrants a mention still. The graphics aren't that horrible, just the bad 3D view and the unappealing maps. And it's not like they're important. Though I don't like the arrogant look on Sonja's face. Of course, Intelligent Systems may have been intending to get players to be irritated at the smart girl. So not much issues for the graphics. And as for the music, well, the new music isn't horrible at all. I won't lie, it's actually good, if pessimistic. But you want to know what sucks? THEY BUTCHERED MOST OF THE PORTED MUSIC! Andy's Anthem sucks now, for example. I'd list more examples, but the rant has managed to drain me.

9) HANDLE USAGE OF THE MEDALS BETTER! First, there are 300 Medals. Which take so much time to get it just gets annoying. Okay, so maybe you can leave only a handful of them by clearing every single one of the modes thuroughly. But the fact that it's easy to get 50, maybe 100 medals, including the Gold level ones, within half of the clearing of one mode, indicates how it's just another needless complication the way it's been handled. At least in GBW3, you can medals for doing particular things, NOT doing the same damn thing again and again and AGAIN. And enough of Super Smash Bros. Melee's trophies and all of the Bonuses there happen to require particular things being done too.

Flawed method aside, there are some medals, Gold level at that, that are just a joke to obtain. Like destroying units. Or hey. How about winning by Rout 150 times. Then there's stupid ones. Such as being defeated, yes, defeated 50 times. And would you ever guess one of the categories is unit deletion? I sure wouldn't because I wouldn't delete units, it's pretty stupid to use in general unless you meet the 50 unit cap. And 500 CO level ups? Hardly half that amount is needed to get everybody able to access their alternate costumes.

Then there's the just time-consuming ones. The only players who are going to normally obtain the Gold level medals for A, B, and C Ranks are newbies, especially those who play War Room. Even then, they'd have to be 300 seekers, and lousy at that. Yes, that's right, S Ranks are actually obtained far more commonly than any of the other 3 combined. And kill 50 Stealths? How many Stealths are there in any of the modes? I see none in any of the Survival Modes, and in both Campaign difficulties, I see only ONE Stealth, the one in Crystal Calamity HC, which I wouldn't want to repeat again and again and *AGAIN* just for a God damn medal. So that's right, we use Design Maps to handle this. But it can only do so much. It can't allow us to get the Survival medals. Which do have a basis on paper. Survival modes are supposed to be arcade-like, after all. But it doesn't change the end result. The Survival medals are, if anything, even worse to obtain than the medals for the A, B, and C Ranks. You have to repeat Survival maps so much it's bound to drive you nuts unless you somehow like the modes or just want to get records. And the latter is pretty much pointless because this game was handled so poorly in the first place. Just what were they thinking. They expect you to play through the same lousy BS again and again and again.

And guess what you get for going through all this nonsense? A lousy wallpaper. A lousy, frickin' wallpaper. Then again, it's actually suiting because the medals were handled so badly, and most of the rest of the game was handled so badly as well.

10) Just to further annoy the AW communities for being lameasses, here it is: DON'T MESS UP THE STORY WITH RIDICULOUS STEREOTYPING! It would help when the story isn't messy and making the good guys Mary Sues/Gary Stus. Now don't get me wrong, *SOME* stereotyping can be amusing. But WHY THE HELL IS THE SOCIOPATHIC VILLAIN A FRICKIN' OLD MAN? At least Mr. Evil AKA Sturm was just a mastermind manipulator, so it was actually convenient that he was the main bad guy in AW1 and AW2 because we were fine just wanting to kick his ass. And it would have been convenient if Candle was the main bad guy instead of simply a 2nd In Command, although one who stuck with the evil misdeeds to the end unlike a certain worthy opponent enemy who took out Sturm, switched sides only shortly after the end of the tutorial, and developed a soft side to an extent. Now I understand physical ability having nothing to do with war ability in this game. But come on. An old man on life support being the main villain? It's like they want you to attack senior citizens for no good reason. What? Okay, why the bullying, NOA? And yes, the labored breathing was added in the localization. Just like JAKE'S USAGE OF SLANG! Which is funny to read at first, I have to admit, but definitely should not be imitated.

And one more thing to criticize about the way Mr. Bolt was handled. You're given a choice as to whether or not to shoot him at the end. Does that affect anything really? No. Just who shoots him, or his machine, rather. And which wallpaper you get, which doesn't help when you HAVE TO COMPLETE THE CAMPAIGN MULTIPLE TIMES TO GET MEDALS AND CO WALLPAPERS ANYWAY! Now what the HFIL is that about? Nothing story-wise changes in the Epilogue. Rachel just congratulates the COs the same way, Jake and Sasha have the same mountainside talk, Mr. Bolt is buried underneath the rubble per karmic suffering either way, Hawke's status is still ambiguous (for some reason), and the Bolt Guard remnants talk without regard as to whether it was John or Hawke who shot the machine. Wow. That choice affected so much.

Well, at least that was shorter than I thought it would be. But my goodness. After all this, I deserve a hug from a nice girl my age, and a girlfriend who would be just that. And don't say that's not the case, you'd be so dead wrong after all that's been said and done.

Oh yeah. Comments from non-Friended LJs now disallowed. No creating a new LJ just to make trash. And you deserve this anyway for not caring in the first place. Twats.

holy shit

[maybe]

the only words of that i read were "hey free sex"

[Junkhead]

i opened your sig and got a good kek

dafuk's a kek

is that one of your 4chan shit

[Ken Masters]

dafuk's a kek

is that one of your 4chan shit

Nah, 4chan moved on from kek for a while now.

Probably reddit, since they spend their time stealing from 4chan and re-using their memes untile they mean nothing.

Like cuck, and bronies.

[Junkhead]

are you saying they meant something once

[Ken Masters]

are you saying they meant something once

My B

[Junkhead]

My Down B

Fix'd. Edited October 17, 2016 by Soul~!

[Freohr Datia]

I wake up to my alarm clock going off, playing the music from Rocky. I try to hit the snooze button but I miss the first time. I keep slamming my hand at it until it breaks. My back is sore from carrying my team so hard last night but I can't just spend all day in bed so I decide to watch some Family Guy on Netflix.

Hey can you take out the trash? My mom says from the kitchen, carrying in the groceries and preparing breakfast. I begrudgingly do it. Seriously? Why do I have to carry this family?

I borrow my Moms car to get lunch and make a left turn off my street. I miss and veer into the oncoming traffic lane. Everyone starts honking, three cars hit me and I crash into a tree. Some of the drivers ask me if I'm okay, I scream at them for focusing me. Oh well, just means I'm carrying. I walk to the nearest McDonalds instead.

I bite in the general direction of my food and snag two fries. Nice, I'm on my way to becoming the new Seagull. I bite in the general direction of my food again and bite the table by accident, cracking a tooth. Where the hell was my team? Whatever, I didn't want McDonalds anyway. I'm drinking my Diet Coke when I hear some bad start choking from across the room. I try to ignore it as best as I can and carry like I normally do but he's getting too loud. His wife starts shouting too. Is anybody here a doctor? We need a doctor! I stand up and raise my hand, I main Hanzo. I wait for the applause.

We need a doctor! The woman screams again .

Wow, fuck off and stop telling people what to do! It's just lunch! Sorry I don't take it as seriously as you! I throw my drink at the couple's table and it splashes, hitting four people (quad kill, Play of the Game) And storm out of the restaurant. I miss the door and walk into the wall. Dammit, now my nose is bleeding. Shitty supports, is anyone else even trying? I walk back home and find my five year old brother going through my things. I kick him out of my room and he loses his shit. He hits me in the crotch and I accuse him of aimbotting. I one shot him and he's out cold. He was never my equal.

It's been an exhausting day so I just sit down and play some Overwatch for fourteen hours. I'm already high gold, so I don't think I need the practice, but it can't hurt. Besides time to go to bed. I piss in the general direction of my bathroom and accidentally hit my Grandfather's ashes. Eh, close enough. I climb into bed and set my cellphone alarm to Eye of the Tiger. It's been a long day and I need some god damn sleep.

[Chen]

The entire purpose of the subreddit is to allow for more light content and semi-hyperbolic statements without fear of Liberal, reactionary, of Fascist retaliation. You've trespassed into our community to try and mock us. In doing so, either intentionally or unintentionally, you have benefited our enemies. Nevertheless, I'll explain it to you the best I can. I always seek to educate whenever the opportunity arises. I'll make this as brief as possible.

Any atrocity you could accuse us of, our enemies have done it before, and almost always they've done it ten times worse. We are those who want to rectify it, permanently. The plain truth is that we can't do it through daisy chains and peaceful protests. The Liberals and the Bourgeoisie wouldn't advocate for peaceful protest if it ever brought quick, meaningful, and permanent change. They have used every means at their disposal to destroy us.

The only real way is through forceful and determined action. Putting people, and yes, children in gulags is one such action. It's like when you have an infection and you're prescribed antibiotics, you start to take them for a few days, then you start to feel better. So, you just stop, you figure since you can't feel the effects of the bacteria they must be gone and defeated. Yet, when you stop, the infection comes back and sometimes even worse than before. It's not pretty, it's not cuddly, but it's the surest way. You have to get rid of all the filth before you can call it clean.

It's a similar principle here, if you don't eliminate those who are affiliated with the Old Guard, they'll raise their children to rise against you, or they'll grow up and seek to destroy you. That's why we do what we have to do, for the success of our goal, and the ultimate benefit of humanity. That's why we fight, to end human suffering and end tyranny.

I'd advise you to reconsider, because make no mistake. We plan to win this conflict, so either join us, support us, or move out the way. This is a friendly warning.

[Junkhead]

I wake up to my alarm clock going off, playing the music from Rocky. I try to hit the snooze button but I miss the first time. I keep slamming my hand at it until it breaks. My back is sore from carrying my team so hard last night but I can't just spend all day in bed so I decide to watch some Family Guy on Netflix.

You have great tastes.

[Parrhesia]

[words]

why are you posting jeremy corbyn's victory speech

[Excellen Browning]

why are you posting jeremy corbyn's victory speech

Fairly certain that's actually a speech made by putin